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I shoved my way through the throng of party goers. When I’d been told that the party would be large, I still hadn’t thought it would be quite like this. I hugged my bottle of booze close as I glared at the person that stumbled into me. With a sigh of relief I spotted Woo Jin-Chul and Sung Jin-Woo leaned together in the back of the room, the younger with his hand in the olders back pocket.
I wasn’t quite sure that Sung Jin-Woo was even old enough to be here. I found it impossible to get a read on the younger man. He had the face of a child and the eyes of an old god. I supposed it would be Woo Jin-Chul’s problem.
“Hey has anyone seen Hyung? He said he’d be here, but I can’t find him.” I pouted as I came up to Woo Jin-Chul’s side. We’d had an English class together, and I’d thought him a great friend since. Even with his boyfriend that always put me on edge. The two of them looked opposite ways without a word.
“Nope. Don’t see him.” Sung Jin-Woo said before taking a swig of whatever it was in his hand. He’d torn off the label, so the clear liquid could be a lot of things.
“I can’t spot him either.” Woo Jin-Chul took the bottle from his boyfriend without looking to have a sip of his own. This was why I never commented on their relationship for as many questions as I had. They acted in sync to a degree that was scary.
“Did you look in the den? I think they were going to start some games. Hey isn’t that the cheap crap Baek Yoon-Ho nim likes? You know if you want to get anywhere with him you should be less subtle and more direct.” Sung Jin-Woo chuckled, a glimmer in his eyes that made me feel so very exposed. I knew that I was pining for Yoon-Ho like some teen in a tv drama but, I didn’t need someone that was practically still a kid teasing me.
“I’ll go find him before he gets in trouble.” I turned away to head for the den, ignoring the implications of his words. Also pretending I didn’t see the middle finger the younger man showed me, much to Woo Jin-Chul’s disapproval. It was a shame that the kid had such an off putting aura to him, because he was a good guy that cared a lot for the people around him. Well I guess that’s why Woo Jin-Chul made such a good match for him, because the older man could be very scary on his own when he felt like it. Right now I was more worried about Yoon-Ho.
I hoped they weren’t playing any competitive games, his competitive streak only got worse the more he drank. So long as they weren’t playing Hunminjeongeum it would be fine. He got exceptionally competitive during rounds of that. The den wasn’t hard to find with the roar of cheers and jeers coming from it. I pushed my way through the line of people blocking the door way to see Yoon-Ho glaring at Choi Jong-In. The two looking like they were close to blows, I’d have to cut in before that happened.
“Hyung, you invited me to the party then I couldn’t find you anywhere. That’s not nice.” I pouted. It was enough to break the tension, and Yoon-Ho’s concentration as he whirled towards me.
“You didn’t,” Yoon-Ho started as he reached for his phone. Finally seeing the texts that I had sent him. “I didn’t hear my phone.” he sheepishly looked at me while scratching his cheek. Behind him I could see Choi Jong-in huff and stalk off, annoyed at being ignored.
“Of course you wouldn’t hear it in this noise Hyung. Do you even have the ringer on? You should have been waiting in the front room for me.” I continued to pout, rolling my eyes to exaggerate my annoyance. It was more playful then, anything else. I was to happy to see him to hold on to much of my irritation. The difference in our class schedule kept us too busy to see much of each other. Even though we texted when we could, it wasn’t the same.
“Is that for me?” Yoon-Ho distracted me from my scolding of him to point at the bottle of booze I had brought with me. I pulled it closer to my chest, and leaned away from him.
“No. This is for nice Hyung’s that don’t invite me to a party, and then leave me to wander. Having to search for them, only to find them having a pissing match with the host.” My pout turned to a glare. Yoon-Ho sheepishness returning double fold. I knew about the rivalry that he had with Choi Jong-In, though I wasn’t ever sure where it came from.
The two of them had completely different degrees, and I didn’t know where there could have been overlap for them to meet. Whenever that had been it had been an instant rivalry, and now any time they crossed paths everything turned into a competition. It was almost a surprise that Yoon-ho was here at all, considering it was Choi Jong-in hosting the party.
“I’m sorry. I did mean to wait for you, but that stupid snake started running his mouth. Can you forgive me?” Yoon-ho pouted, and it was so very hard to resist when he looked so damnable cute like that. Bright orange eyes shining with hope. I rolled my eyes and huffed like it was a great tragedy that I had to hand over the bottle. Even though I couldn’t hold back the smile that formed from his antics. Yoon-Ho was quick to crack open the bottle, but he offered it out to me to take the first drink.
“That more like the Hyung I know. Always so kind and generous.” I accepted the bottle back, and took a large gulp of the cheap liquor. It wasn’t quite to my taste, but it was at least as good as anything else you’d find at a college party. Besides I had bought the bottle it was only fair I had some of it.
“Ah anything to keep you from nagging to much. You know, you wouldn’t have had a problem finding me, if you’d let me pick you up on my way here.” Yoon-Ho took the bottle back for a long sip. There was a twinge of annoyance in his voice, but my tardiness couldn’t be helped. I stole the bottle from him for another drink.
“I know, I know, but I was busy. I have a paper due Monday, and if I didn’t get it done before coming to the party, I wasn’t going to get it done.” I easily handed the bottle back. Really this was what I’d been hoping for when I’d bought it. Even the cheapest booze tasted better when I could share it with Yoon-Ho.
“Don’t you mean, you spent all your free time watching that new historical drama, and now you’re lagging on your class work?” Yoon-Ho smirked, something that made him damnably attractive. I was also annoyed that he guessed right so easily.
“It’s research. How am I going to teach history if I don’t learn it? This one is very accurate to the time period its centered in. I’m thinking about making it part of my final project for the class.” I corrected, pouting when Yoon-Ho laughed. I stole the bottle and started chugging it. Much to the dismay of the other man, who started patting at my shoulder. I eventually had to come up for air and, didn’t fight nearly as hard as I could when he stole the bottle back.
“How is this a gift for me if you drink it all?” Yoon-Ho said, while looking at the bottle sadly. With a small shake of his head he took a long drink that finished off the bottle.
“We’re starting a round of love you, everyone come sit in a circle.” a woman’s voice cut through the din of the room. Interrupting what more bantering Yoon-Ho and I might have done. With a wide grin I grabbed Yoon-Ho by the arm and dragged him towards the forming circle. The liquor warming my blood gave me just enough courage to think of a dastardly good idea. If he noticed me very intentionally sitting to his left, Yoon-Ho said nothing.
Once the circle was complete and everyone had settled down, drinks were passed around in red cups from a clear bottle that has the label ripped off. I took a sniff and wrinkled my nose at the strong smell but wasn’t all that worried about it. Nothing with an alcohol content to be worried about smelled this bad.
“I love you, kitty cat.” the woman that had announced the new game started the first round. It was an awful first statement and got a few chuckles simply for that, including from me. Yoon-Ho gave me a raised eyebrow as I took a sip of the awful booze. It had also gotten a laugh out of the person it was told to, so the game moved on to the next person.
“I love you awful booze.” the man said raising his glass. It got a cheer or chuckle out of most of the circle, and it was more or less a collective round of drinks. The game continued on like this for a long while, and I tried not to let my nerves show as it got closer to my turn. Because I had the most brilliant and awful idea. The tension meant I giggled at things I might not have otherwise, but the added liquor just added to my confidence that this would be the best idea ever.
Sung Jin-Woo had said to be direct, might as well see where that advice got me. It was finally my turn to say something. I turned to Yoon-Ho with a playful grin, hoping it would distract from how my hands shook.
“I love you Hyung.” Dead silence followed that statement. Even the mild conversations that had been going around outside of the game. Yoon-Ho’s eyes widen like I’d punched him. Instead of saying anything I let the silence hang just long enough for there to be a reaction, before turning to the person on my right.
“I love you soggy socks.” the room broke into rambunctious laugher. This was what made the plan perfect. If he reacted poorly then it was all part of the game, and all of it could be marked up to my weird sense of humor. The only one not laughing was Yoon-Ho, who was instead watching me with calculating eyes. I kept my playful grin carefully in place to not let him think there was anything out of the ordinary. Like how my heart was breaking that his reaction to my confession was shock and judgement.
I mean I should have guessed that’s what would happen. It’s why I never said anything about the bloom of warmth I felt every time I saw him, or the intense need to kiss him every time I saw that small rare smile. No for as much as we cared about each other and, I knew he cared for me, we were friends and that was all we would ever be. The room calmed slowly, and people took their drinks. Yoon-Ho was slow to turn away from me and to the person on his left.
“I love you funeral.” he said in a flat tone. The other person gave a high pitched strained sort of laugh, that was perhaps a bit forced. As if they would rather drink their whole cup in one go then give Yoon-Ho the chance to turn towards me and watch what he would tell me in return to my statement. Something I very much wanted to happened, but I could hardly blame the other person from trying to move the game along, and not let things devolve into all out chaos.
I tried to pay attention to the game as it moved on, but it was hard to focus on anything but how Yoon-Ho was staring blankly at the wall. A look of deep contemplation on his face. His shoulders tense in a way that unsettled me. I nudged him with my knee when his stillness become more then I could handle. He blinked out of his trance to look over at me. I gave him a questioning quirk of my eyebrow. Yoon-ho shook his head before draining his cup, and standing to walk out of the den altogether.
I watched him walk with a sinking heart. Hopefully all of this could be brushed over as either part of the game, or being drunk. The last thing I wanted was for this to be what drove a wedge between us. Not when I’d spent so much time and effort to make sure that I could stay close to him despite my feelings for him. I never should have listened to Sung Jin-Woo.
The person that had been on Yoon-Ho’s other side shuffled closer to fill the gap, and gave me a pitying look. I returned it with a wide smile. Everything would be fine. Yoon-Ho just needed a moment. By tomorrow we would be texting like this never happened.
I stayed for a few more rounds of love you after Yoon-Ho had left, but I couldn’t pay much attention to the game. Laughing when a lot of people did and saying the first thing that came to mind without much consideration if it would be funny or not. It was when Choi Jong-In managed to catch my eye and gave me a look. Something that I’m sure was supposed to be reassuring, but just came off as sad. It was then that I realized I couldn’t sit here wondering what Yoon-Ho was doing any longer. I had to go find out for myself what he was thinking. If he was even still here, or if I’d scared him off completely.
It was actually surprisingly easy to find Yoon-Ho. He was bracketed by Woo Jin-Chul and Sung Jin-Woo at the island in the kitchen. The older saying things to him that I couldn’t hear over the din of the party, while the younger was trying to get him to drink what was likely water. While easily the youngest among us, Sung Jin-Woo was always the first to try and add a bit of responsibility to a situation.
Often being labeled a mother hen for it. Not that Sung Jin-Woo seemed to mind the title much. Certainly not enough to stop making sure that all of his friends were properly cared for no matter the situation. I did my best to put on an easy going smile before walking over to the group.
“There you are hyung. I thought you were going to come back, and got worried that you got lost.” I came over to lean on a free piece of counter. Looking between Yoon-Ho and Woo Jin-Chul as the two of them shut up quite quickly with my arrival.
“Drink this.” Sung Jin-Woo pressed a cup into my hand with all the insistence of someone that would not hesitate to pour it down my throat himself if I didn’t do what he said. Considering the fuzziness in my head, and the warm buzz under my skin he was probably right to try. So, I took a sip of something that was decidedly not water, but strange tasting and an odd green shade.
“What is this?” I coughed holding the cup away from me. It wasn’t the worst thing I’d ever been handed at a party, but it was not what I had been expecting.
“Personal recipe. Family secret. Keep drinking.” Sung Jin-Woo pushed my cup back towards me. The short choppy sentences were his very clear tell for lying, but I didn’t mind much as I should. Whatever weird thing he had given me was clearing my head wonderfully. Something I appreciated with the look Yoon-Ho was giving me. Maybe with a clear I could make less of a fool of myself then I already had.
“Did you mean it?” Yoon-Ho asked as I finished the cup. I realized with a sense of doom that the kitchen had been cleared of anyone else. Not only Woo Jin-Chul and Sung Jin-Woo gone, but they seemed to have wrangled out everyone poking through the cabinets or cupboards.
“Of course I,” my nervous attempt to laugh off the event was cut off by Yoon-Ho’s glare.
“Don’t. Don’t do that.” Yoon-Ho heaved a sigh as he rubbed at his eyes with a hand. There would be no trying to hide behind technicalities of how he was my best friend, so of course I loved him. I should have known that such a thing wouldn’t escape his sharp eyes.
“Yes.” I breathed out, like it was the last bit of fresh air before I drowned in my sorrow. I couldn’t look him in the eyes now. I didn’t want to know what he was doing. This whole night had been a mistake, and I shouldn’t have listened to Sung Jin-Woo. I shouldn’t have come here tonight at all.
“Romantically?” this time sounding much more like he was trying to confirm things. Like Yoon-Ho was trying to find some loophole that could get us out of this awkwardness and back to a state of normal. Where I was just a friend that he could talk to, and share things with. Where he didn’t have to worry about how I might take things, or what I might do. Not that I would do anything without him wanting it, but now that would be a thought he had all the time now wouldn’t it.
“Yes.” I nodded. Looking up at the ceiling so that the tears forming in my eyes wouldn’t fall, or maybe just so he couldn’t see them. I wanted to run out of the house and never speak of this again, maybe never speak to him again. Could pack up the apartment and move somewhere no one knows me or how much of a fool I was. But mostly I wanted to go home and curl under my blankets for a good long cry. I could at the least give Yoon-Ho the time to consider what it all meant.
The quite stretched between us for seemingly decades. I cracked first and took a deep breath to start apologizing. “Look, it doesn’t have to,” I was cut off again by Yoon-Ho. This time with him so intimately close in an instant, with one large hand on my side and the other tilting my chin down to meet his eyes. A thumb brushing away the tears that spilled.
“Good. I feel the same. I just hadn’t realized until you said something. That’s just like you, always pushing me to be more then I am. To be better.” Yoon-Ho’s orange eyes were so soft, filled with a warmth I thought I’d never get to see again. He leaned in slowly giving me ample time to push him away. Not that I even would as I fell into the kiss with a hiccupped sob. The tears on my cheeks now from a flood of relief. I grasped at his shirt pulling him closer. The kiss more wonderful then I ever thought it would be. He held me with all the tenderness of something precious.
He kissed with that same sort of gentleness. Which was so very appreciated as I felt I was moments from falling apart entirely. Both from joy and relief. I’d never hoped that he might feel the same about me. At best I thought he might turn me down softly and we could still remain friends at some capacity. I whined as Yoon-ho pulled away panting. I dropped my head to his shoulder holding him close as I let the wave of emotions come.
The quick change between accepting his rejection to having him say he felt the same was more of a head rush then any liquor we would find here at the party. I was so very happy for it anyways as his arms wrapped around me. One hand coming up to brush through the short hairs at the nape of my neck. He let me shiver my way through a few more relieved sobs.
“Do you want to go somewhere quieter?” Yoon-ho whispered with a kiss to my temple. I nodded even as I took a steadying breath. I felt better now that the first shock of things had passed, steadier. Yet I still thought it might be better to go somewhere less open, and likely to be walked in on if we were going to talk things over. Or anything else that might happen.
Yoon-Ho stepped back, taking my hand and slot his fingers between mine. We left the kitchen, passing by Woo Jin-Chul and Sung Jin-Woo acting like bodyguards at the doorway. Which would explain why we had been left undisturbed for so long. The younger of the pair gave me a wink as Yoon-Ho headed for the stairs.
I turned away so that the younger man couldn’t see how I blushed at the barest suggestion that we might have been doing, or going to do, anything worth that wink. At the top of the stairs Yoon-Ho paused. Looking at the closed doors and empty space to try and find the most private place. He looked so cute while contemplating that I wanted to reach up and kiss him. It was a normal feeling by now, twinged with a startling realization that I could now go through with the want.
Putting a hand on his shoulder for balance, I leaned up and kissed his cheek. Something light and sweet. Yoon-Ho turned to me with wide eyes that quickly turned hungry. He leaned down to kiss me properly. I put my arms around his neck to balance on my toes and met him more in the middle. An adjustment for how much taller than me he was. It had always been something I’d found very attractive, but I was seeing now that it could be a bit of a problem sometimes.
Yoon-ho guided us back until he found a wall to push me up against, putting a hand under my thigh to lift me up higher. Unfortunately it was not a wall I was pressed against; but a door, with the handle digging into my back. I gasped for air and used one hand to push at Yoon-Ho’s shoulder. He backed off with a worried whine, but I didn’t give him time to ask what was wrong as I reached behind myself and opened the door. I didn’t much care what was in the room, so long as there was not a handle digging into my kidneys.
I glanced over my shoulder anyways, and was overjoyed to see a soft bed. With a smirk I dropped down to my heels and took Yoon-Ho’s hands to lead him towards the bed. I fell back when my knees hit the edge, reaching up to pull Yoon-Ho down towards me. This was much better. Neither of us having to strain to reach the perfect angle. Yoon-Ho swiped his tongue across my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth with a sigh.
My hands moving to his hair a luxurious soft, that he never seemed able to tame. It was almost as good as the way he was skillfully exploring my mouth. I didn’t let the chance slip my by to do the same for him. There was a lingering taste of the strange concoction Sung Jin-Woo had brought in Yoon-Ho’s mouth, and I couldn’t stop the bubbling laughter.
“What are you giggling about?” Yoon-Ho huffed prodding me to shuffle up the bed so he could lean over me better. If that wasn’t a sight then I don’t know what was. His eyes dark with hunger, normally wild hair even more ruffled after having my hands in it.
“That we both got a helping hand from Woo Jin-Chul’s boytoy. Also that you would go to them for help. It’s funny that we know one couple, and both go to them for help.” I continued giggling, while pulling Yoon-Ho down to settle on top of me. His weight pressing me into the bed was so much better then I had ever thought it would be.
“Don’t let either of them hear you say that. Also I think you have their dynamics backwards. He might be younger, and quieter, but Sung Jin-woo is definitely in charge. I wouldn’t say I went to them so much as I was ambushed by them.” Yoon-Ho grumbled. Which was certainly a topic to go in to more detail, but later. Right now he was placing kisses along my neck that had me shivering in a very good way. “Now do you want to keep talking about them, or should I do something better with my mouth?”
he took my earlobe between his teeth with just the hint of a scrape. I gave a high pitched whined, my hands darting down to his lower back pulling at his shirt. Wanting to feel the firm muscle there. Yoon-Ho pressed more firmly against me as he started a line of kisses down my neck. Ones that alternated between feather light and the barest hint of sharp teeth. More enticing then that was the hard line of his erection rubbing against my leg.
I wasn’t sure if we were quite ready for that yet. But it was a comforting form of reciprocation to the tightness in my own pants, something I was sure he could feel pressed again his belly. I let him know how much I appreciated his touch with soft whines and gasps. Yoon-ho leaned up on to his elbows looking at me with a hunger and amazement that sent shivers down my spine. I tilted my head back as an invitation to continue. Yoon-Ho jolted falling towards me before catching himself, his face colored in confusion and shock.
“I didn’t invite you so you could fuck your boyfriend on my bed, you damn mongrel.” my eyes trailed up over Yoon-Ho's shoulder to see an irate Choi Jong-In standing there a pillow in his hands. He smacked Yoon-ho repeatedly with said pillow when our reaction was not the one he wanted. Yoon-Ho brought his arm up to block the blows with a snarl once the initial shock wore off.
“Fuck off you damn snake. Don’t leave your doors unlocked in a house party, and he’s not my…” Yoon-ho trailed off and turned back to look at me with questioning eyes. I’d tried to hide the flinch as he denied our relation. But it was hard to hide something like that when the other person was literally on top of you. “Do you want to be my boyfriend? Isn’t it a bit soon? We haven’t actually talked about any of that. Haven’t even asked you on a date yet.” Yoon-Ho asked me sheepishly. A blush dusting his cheeks in the most adorable way.
“I’m already under you on a bed. What do you want a written agreement?” I joked with a soft laugh. The color on Yoon-Ho’s cheek deepened and spread up to his ears. It made me want to lean up and kiss him.
“My bed! Out, out, out!” Choi Jong-In did not take well to being ignored, and started hitting Yoon-Ho with the pillow again. I made no efforts to hide my laughter as I pushed at Yoon-Ho, helping him up so we could escape the ire of the other man. Yelping when a got a smack on the back of the head to. It didn’t hurt so much as surprise. It only made me laugh harder. Yoon-Ho reached back to take my hand, and pull me out of the room, sending a glare back to Choi Jong-In.
Yoon-Ho lead us back down stairs, but as we reached the bottom I was the one to pull him towards the living room. Someone had put on slow music, and I thought it would be a perfect thing to dance to. Finding a good spot clear of other people was something harder then I thought it should be but I did after a moment. I put my arms around his waist and leaned my head on his chest, swaying along to the beat. Yoon-Ho put his arms around me, and started humming to the tune.
Motion to the side caught my eye. Sung Jin-Woo was holding up a shiny square with a mischievous smirk, and a questioning quirk to his eyebrow. Woo Jin-Chul was quick to come up behind him and steal the square, then started pushing his boyfriend out of the room. I couldn’t help my giggles at the display. For all the trouble that this night had brought, there was just as much joy. I was very much looking forward to what tomorrow would bring, as I spent the night dancing with my boyfriend.