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Dazai gripped the letter in his hands, fingers crumpling the stark white envelope it was contained in. As if unwilling to let the words inside it spill out onto the floor.
It couldn't be possible.
A letter meant the end of the game.
He hesitantly took it out.
It read,
"Dear Osamu,
If you are reading this letter, it means you have won. I accept my bitter defeat. I hold no grudges against you as it was a fair game until the end.
However, I do have one question, before you go and celebrate your victory. Was I worth it? To kill me off at the cost of what you believe to be the safety of others? Please tell me, if you regret it.
Because I do not. And I do not wish for you to regret as well, as sorrow stems from regret and it pains me enough in life to see you suffer. Even though you killed the only man who loved you, you must know, that he loved you until the end.
So yes, if you must confirm, I loved you.
I know you love me too.
From, Your Fedya"
Dazai stared at the letter.
Reading it again and again.
"I loved you."
"Was I worth it?"
"I hold no grudges against you."
Dazai swallowed hard as his vision blurred.
A single tear rolled down his face.
Then, another.
And another.
And now, Dazai was bawling his eyes out as he held the letter to his chest.
He regretted it.
He felt sorrowful.
Which was exactly what Fyodor didn't want to see him go through.
"I’m sorry." He mumbled under his breath.
9 February.
The day the only man he loved and the only one to love him died, left the world.
Every year after that Dazai disappeared to see yet another grave on that very day.
He sat down and sighed.
"If you must know. I do regret what I have done. But even if I had the chance to go back in time, I wouldn't do anything differently. "
He paused, staring at the gravestone in front of him.
"And you were right. I love you. I think I will always continue to as long I'm alive. Hopefully, it would end soon."
Dazai sat there next to Fyodor not saying a single word after that. He watched the sunset, the sky a mix of orange pink, and yellow.
Then, when the moon came to claim the night and the stars showed themselves, sparkling and shimmering and burning, he left.
"All the stars in the night sky would never be enough to bring you back."