Chapter Text
| March 18th, 2020 |
High school is over. Graduation was a week ago, and while most of his fellow senior classmates were celebrating, he couldn’t bring himself to do the same. Not now, at least.
The graduation ceremony was like any other, students would be called up to the stage to receive their diploma and shake the hand of the principal, then those students would go and celebrate their accomplishments with their family and friends. Atsushi did not have that option because he has neither of the two.
He received his diploma, but he had no one to celebrate the milestone of his life with. The man that raised him is the only father figure he has ever known, however he would physically feel sick when he had to refer to the man as family of any kind.
As much as Atsushi tried, no amount of hard work and good grades seemed to please the man whose approval he fought so desperately for. All it gave him was insults on how he could do better- be better, and often lead to another beating. And yet, his approval still felt as though that was all that mattered in this world.
But while it wasn’t the Headmasters’ approval he received, Atsushi did get someone’s approval. Which is why he found himself sitting on a bench in Yamashita park with a letter of acceptance from one of the most prestigious schools in the city.
During his adventure to earn validation from his legal guardian, he achieved high remarks from his teachers and was an A+ student all around, achieving some of the highest scores the school had seen in a while from any student. He took on extra curricula to help catch attention, he played on track, was in the photography club, but out of all of them, he felt most at home with literature and journaling.
He was a model student in many ways. However, he did not expect his achievements to catch the attention of Yokohama National University.
Going into high school, he didn’t bother looking into what school he would attend afterwards since he always assumed he wouldn’t rise to anything above a part-time job at best and would be living in a run-down apartment for the rest of his life. Throughout the past three years, he has heard his fellow classmates talk about where they would be attending afterwards and he won’t lie, it did spark some curiosity. One of the most talked about colleges was YNU and so many students were practically fighting to get accepted into their program.
Yet somehow, this morning as he was checking the mail (as he normally does), he found a letter addressed to him from the university of everyone’s dreams. He wasn’t going to open it while still within the walls of the orphanage, knowing his luck, if the Headmaster found out, or if anyone looking to earn the Headmasters’ favoritism found this, it would more than likely cause fallout and he would find himself in his room tending to his wounds once again.
So he took himself to Yamashita park to investigate. And what he found was not what he was expecting.
Yokohama National University is pleased to tell you that you have been accepted into our scholarship program, and have been given a full ride should you choose to accept. Please contact us by March 22nd to register.
As the letter continues, it goes on to explain the different studies the university has available, some are more recommended than others, but the literature program looked the most appealing to him.
But still, Atsushi found himself contemplating if he even deserved this. As stated before, going into high school, college was never on his mind, he never strived for it like others did. In a sense, the scholarship seemed misplaced in his hands; he knew some students who have earned this more than him, some of which he knew to have this school chosen as their dream university .
Of course, he was curious, a part of him was even happy to have been given this opportunity. But it doesn’t feel earned justly because he never set his mind into going to college after high school; he simply strived to survive.
What am I supposed to do in this situation? Atsushi asked himself.
He had a simple plan laid out before him; the moment he turned eighteen, he would leave the orphanage behind and take on a part-time job. Housing could wait until he saved up enough money, and as challenging as he saw living on the streets to be, he deems it better than living another second in the orphanage, especially as an adult.
Besides, he was almost certain they would kick him out the moment the clock strikes midnight on May 5th. That meant he was an adult, and therefore, he no longer has to leech off of their system.
College was not part of the plan. But…
If I do register, they are offering a full ride, meaning I won’t have to pay a dime toward tuition. I’d have a dorm I could stay in, I’d have to room with someone, but it’s still manageable. And I can still take on a part-time job to pay for my own things…
College was not part of the plan. But looking back on it now, was it ever really Atsushi’s plan? Or was it just something he told himself was unachievable?
“Excuse me, sir? Are you alright?”
Atsushi found himself raising his head. In front of him was a girl with dark hair, looking no older than fifteen at the most. Her hair was separated into two pigtails and bangs fell over her eyes. Her bright blue eyes looked down at him, conflicted.
“I’m sorry?” He asked her, confused by her question.
“You’re crying.”
He makes a noise of surprise, raising a hand to touch under his eyes, only to find them wet. “O-Oh… I’m sorry,” He laughs lightly, wiping his tears on the sleeve of his shirt before looking back at her with a small smile. “Everything is fine, miss. No need to worry.”
Judging by her expression, she was not convinced. “May I sit with you?” She asked him.
He quickly slides over, making room on the bench so she could sit. As she sits down, she notices the papers in his hands. “I’m sorry that you were rejected.” She says, earning a confused look from Atsushi. She nods at the papers while saying, “My parents met at YNU, growing up, they would tell me how many of their happiest memories were there. If I’m not accepted there, I plan to go to Tokyo to the back-up school my father was originally planning to attend.”
“Oh no, that’s not the problem. I was given a full scholarship.” Atsushi explains, face slightly red by the assumption. Gee, did I really seem that upset? He shakes his head as he looks down, staring at the university logo that was printed at the top of the page. “No, that’s not what the problem is…”
The girl raises a brow at him, “My apologies, I shouldn’t have assumed. That’s one of the things that gets me into trouble, I really should learn to stop that.”
Atsushi smiles at her again, “You did nothing wrong, miss. It’s alright.”
“If you don’t mind me asking,” She pauses, waiting for him to stop her from talking. When he doesn’t, she continues, “Why were you crying if you received good news?”
“It’s… complicated.” He says, biting down on his bottom lip as he thought of an answer that wouldn’t seem… strange to a stranger. “I was never planning on going to college because I thought I wouldn’t be able to support myself, so I never applied for any programs or looked at any brochures.” He explains. “It is good news. But… I just don’t feel like I deserve it since it was never in my plans.”
The girl gives a hum of acknowledgement. “I understand. You’ve gotten so used to believing that one is unachievable, that when you’re proven wrong, it completely derails you.”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“But, that’s not always a bad thing.” Atsushi makes a noise, brows furrowing. “My father was originally going to attend one of the Tokyo universities right after high school, then one day, my grandfather got sick. My father decided to stay in Yokohama so he could be closer to family, and so he registered for YNU.” She says, looking up at him, “As sad as the circumstances were, if my grandfather hadn’t gotten sick, and if my father’s plans hadn’t been derailed, then my parents wouldn’t have met.”
“So sometimes, something not going according to plan is a good thing, in the long run.” Atsushi sat silently, staring at her as he processed what she had told him. “And even if it doesn’t work out, you can at least say that you tried, right?” She asked.
“I only regret the things I didn’t do.”
“Hm?”
Atsushi shakes his head, leaning back in the bench seat. “It’s a quote from a book I had read when I was younger.” A book I had my leg broken over… “I don’t remember anything else about the book, but that quote. It stuck with me, it’s one of the reasons why I still keep pushing forward with myself.” He explains. “Saying that I can at least look back and say that I tried, it reminded me of that quote.”
She makes another hum, “Is that a good thing?”
“I think so.” He nods, “Thank you… Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”
“Kyouka Izumi.”
“Nakajima Atsushi,” He says, “It’s nice to meet you, Kyouka-chan.”
As Kyouka opens her mouth to speak, a loud chime interrupts their conversation. Atsushi feels a buzz in his left pocket and reaches to pull out his phone. Well, if you could call it that. It was old, and a lot of times, it doesn’t connect to the towers correctly, and the most you can do with it is make phone calls.
Atsushi slips out a quick apology to her as he skims over the new notifications. His heart sinks when he sees the contact for the Headmaster, underneath was a message saying he had missed a phone call from him. I’m dead…
The silver-haired boy gulps, turning off his screen and plastering a smile on his face as he turns back to her. “I’m sorry about that, but I do have to get going.” He says, earning a single nod from her.
“I understand. I hope everything works out for you, Atsushi-kun.” She says, rising from her seat. “I wish you good luck.”
“Thank you, Kyouka-chan.”
As she turns around and begins to leave, he looks down at the forgotten papers in his hands, eyeing the university logo etched at the top of the pages and wonders.
Is it worth it?