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The saloon never truly seems empty or void of Atsumu’s presence. However, recently, it seems like he never leaves at all. He spends his days sitting on his stool at the end of the bar. But he’s quieter now. He normally watches Kiyoomi through the whole day, teasing him, causing problems around the bar, that’s just how he is.
He’s subdued now.
Atsumu watches out over the rest of the saloon, observing the patrons and Kiyoomi can tell that he is eavesdropping on their conversations. He doesn’t know exactly what it is he is listening for. Atsumu spends time looking out the window at the street outside the saloon and watching anyone and everyone go by. He watches everything like he’s studying them like he can not allow himself to miss a single detail.
Kiyoomi notices all of this of course because the unusual behavior has led him to watch Atsumu more than usual. He has a business to run and keep up with and yet he stands at the counter with his eyes on Atsumu who looks like he’s getting more and more tired every day.
Of course, Kiyoomi has his suspicions about the reason behind the unusual behavior and it irritates him to no end that Atsumu is acting this way over it.
Two weeks ago, the bank three towns over from them was robbed. And not peacefully. Multiple civilians were killed in the robbery and it left the town reeling trying to keep things from completely falling apart. In this weakened state, another group of bandits came in and started stirring up trouble. This started what has essentially become a war in the town in just a few days.
As wars do, it started expanding. Leaking out of the town it started in and making its way into the neighboring towns. The bandit fueds have ventured to the town closest to them, and the possibility of the feuds being brought over to their town is a nightmare looming over everyone's heads.
“You’ve been here a lot lately” Kiyoomi says as he’s drying another glass. The last customers filtered out of the saloon a few minutes ago. He locked the door behind them and began tidying up and wiping down the counters. This is the part of the night when Atsumu is full of teasing remarks and claims of being helpful when he’s really just slowing the closing process down immensely.
Now, Atsumu sits at the bar staring down at the drink in his hand, quietly, not speaking. Even from across the bar Kiyoomi can see the weight that has settled across his shoulders. Kiyoomi can feel how tightly Atsumu is wound and it’s unnerving. Atsumu hasn’t ordered an actual drink here when the saloon is open in months. It shocked Kiyoomi when he had asked for a drink, Kiyoomi had simply stared at him for a moment before filling a glass and setting it in front of him.
“Can't a man just hang out at the saloon?” His flat voice is pointed down at his drink, turning it on the table.
“Not when you’re doing it for a reason you’re not telling me. Cut the shit and tell me why you’ve been here so much” His words are harsh, but he can’t help it. Atsumu has been mentally a million miles away for over a week. He doesn’t look at Kiyoomi while he’s working. When they go up to the apartment for the night Atsumu is closed off, he hardly speaks to Kiyoomi. But when they go to sleep, Atsumu holds him so tightly it feels like he can’t breathe. When they wake in the morning, Atsumu doesn’t mention the way he held onto Kiyoomi like he was his life source, he just goes back to how he was the day before, distant and tense and quiet. Kiyoomi feels like he’s already lost his partner even though he’s sitting only a few feet away.
“What? Ya don’ want me around?” Atsumus tries for a joke and it falls flat on the bar top between the two of them. Kiyoomi stares at it before walking over to stand in front of Atsumu. He gently pulls the drink out of his hand and sets it to the side. Kiyoomi places a finger under Atsumu’s chin and tilts his head up so Atsumu will meet his eyes. It feels like the first time they’ve made eye contact in days.
“Atsumu, please. I’m serious.” His voice is softer now. Apparently, he’s not above begging.
Atsumu’s eyes roam over Kiyoomi’s face and he sighs, his resolve crumbling as he looks up at Kiyoomi. Once Kiyoomi is fairly confident that Atsumu will keep looking at him, he pulls his hand away so they can have a proper conversation. “… I leave tomorrow…”
“I know. You do that a lot… Why is this time different” He poses the question when really, he already knows the answer.
“Well, there’s just… stuff going on” He says reluctantly, fiddling with the napkin in his hands. Atsumu knows that Kiyoomi won’t like this answer.
“Don’t tell me this is about the bandit feuds.” He already knows it is, but he dared to hope it wasn’t.
“I was just thinkin’ about it and whatever is going on sounds dangerous” Atsumu reaches out to gently hold onto Kiyoomi’s hand that rests on top of the bar. Kiyoomi isn’t sure if he’s doing it for Kiyoomi or himself.
“They haven’t even come to this town” Kiyoomi points out
“Not yet”
“So you’re assuming they’ll come here and just start killing people?” Kiyoomi says it like it’s ridiculous, but they both know it’s not completely out of the realm of possibilities.
“Omi please I’m just worried-“ Kiyoomi pulls his hand out of Atsumu’s. Atsumu looks back up at Kiyoomi with wide eyes.
“Miya” his voice is sharp and Atsumu’s jaw snaps shut “I have a gun. I have used it before. you’ve SEEN me use it. I’m not afraid so you should stop worrying”
“but what if something happens and I’m not here” Atsumu is sounding more panicked and their voices are getting louder.
Kiyoomi crosses his arms over his chest. “I can take care of myself”
“Not like I can!“ Atsumu says loudly.
The silence that follows is deafening, it feels like the air has been sucked out of the room. Kiyoomi has never heard him raise his voice like that, at least not directed at him. Kiyoomi can see the distress on Atsumu’s face and the frustrated tears in his eyes. After a moment, it seems like Atsumu’s words catch up with him. He blinks his tears away “fuck, ’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, you know I didn’t” Kiyoomi clenches his jaw and looks away. He knows Atsumu didn’t mean that Kiyoomi is incapable of taking care of himself, of defending himself. But at this moment, it sure as hell hurts the same as if that’s what he meant.
“… I think you should go”
Atsumu’s face drops and he looks at Kiyoomi for a few moments before he swallows whatever he was about to say. He stands up and gently pushes his chair in. The sound of the stool scraping against the floor of the saloon sounds like nails dragging on a chalkboard. It sounds like resignation.
“I’ll be back soon, stay safe my love” He looks at Kiyoomi as he continues staring down at the bar.
“I will” He nods. “You be safe too”
He listens to Atsumu walk away. He hears the door open and hears it quietly click shut shortly after. Kiyoomi takes a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly. The tears in his eyes feel hot with frustration and something that feels almost like inadequacy. Owning and managing a saloon doesn’t come without its fair share of dangerous situations. Kiyoomi has lived out here on his own for years. He’s dealt with the worst of the worst and made it to the other side just fine. He knows he is capable of taking care of himself, and he knows Atsumu is aware of that too. He knows that it is completely fair for Atsumu to be worried. Kiyoomi worries about Atsumu when he is away for work too.
But something about being underestimated in his own saloon, to his face, by his partner, hurts nonetheless.
Kiyoomi goes through the motions of finishing closing the saloon before moving upstairs. The apartment feels quiet and empty. Kiyoomi remembers how it felt in here the last week with Atsumu. It was quiet and tense, but at least he had been there. Kiyoomi settles in to go to sleep and hopes the pit in his stomach dissolves and that the next week goes by quickly. Atsumu will be back soon, things will go back to normal, and they will be okay.
~~
The day starts too early and too abruptly. Kiyoomi is woken by shouts and screaming from the street below. He barely has time to blink the sleep out of his eyes before he rips the blankets off and pulls his clothes on. He grabs his revolver from the bedside table and makes his way down the stairs to the saloon. He turns the corner at the bottom of the stairs and is met with a loud voice and the saloon door slamming open. A man holding a gun in each hand walks in and sees Kiyoomi. A nasty smile grows on his face and he quickly fires a gunshot at Kiyoomi.
The shot is close, but Kiyoomi manages to avoid it by ducking under the bar. The gunshot is loud in the saloon and it rattles the windowpanes and Kiyoomi’s eardrums. Kiyoomi takes a deep breath, but makes it quick. He can visualize where the man is by listening to his steps. He waits another moment before he stands and fires, shooting the man directly in the chest. Before Kiyoomi can feel the satisfaction of a good shot, the breath gets knocked out of him. The man is out on the floor now, but he must have fired a shot before Kiyoomi got him.
Hot, white, blinding pain shoots through Kiyoomi’s right arm. His left hand goes up to hold his arm that is throbbing with pain. He pulls his hand away and finds it covered in blood. His breaths start coming quicker and he slowly sinks to his knees behind the bar. The blood running down his arm is bright red and the room feels like it’s spinning. Sitting on the floor and leaning back against the bar, his thoughts run away from him.
Atsumu is going to be so mad when he finds out. He’s going to kill Kiyoomi if he doesn’t die on the floor of his own saloon first. He’s going to start a war against everyone within a 50-mile radius of this town when he finds out someone hurt Kiyoomi.Sitting here, staining his wooden floor with his own blood, Kiyoomi knows most of all that Atsumu is going to be pissed at himself. Atsumu is going to blame himself.
The door swings open and hits the wall hard. Kiyoomi grabs his revolver tight in his left hand. Shooting with his nondominant hand isn’t ideal, but he’ll make it work if he has to. He takes a slow quiet breath to steady himself, preparing himself to fight and kill whoever may have just walked into his saloon. The pain has to be put on the back burner for now, he has to live or else Atsumu will never let himself live it down. He’s preparing to jump out over the bar top when he’s stopped by his voice.
“Omi!” Atsumu cries out, and Kiyoomi crumbles in relief and humiliation at the sound of his voice. He lets out a whimper and sinks back against the floor as he drops his revolver. “Omi? Is that you?” he hears a table get shoved and a chair get knocked over in Atsumu’s hurry to make it there. Kiyoomi can’t respond as Atsumu jumps over the bartop like its a hurdle and he falls to his knees in front of Kiyoomi.
Kiyoomi has his eyes clenched shut but he can feel the weight of Atsumu’s gaze burning through him.
“W-what happened? Who did this?” he starts rushing out questions as his panicked eyes assess Kiyoomi’s heaving figure.
“I thought you were gone” Kiyoomi says through gritted teeth. The pain is almost unbearable and the humiliation of getting hurt when he told Atsumu he would be fine is almost too much to handle.
“I was on my way out of town but I heard all the gunfire and screamin’ so I came back” His voice is still panicked, yet he doesn’t reach out to touch Kiyoomi. He probably knows it would set him off right now.
“Came back for what?”
“To check on you” he says it like its obvious. He says it like he can’t believe that Kiyoomi can’t see it and Kiyoomi burns. He squeezes his eyes shut again.
“I told you i can take care of myself”
“yer literally bleedin’ on the ground”
“I’m fine” he tries to emphasize that he’s okay, but the pained grunt that leaves his mouth probably doesn’t help his case very much.
“You have the biggest pride on this side of the fuckin’ mountain range” Atsumu’s eyebrows are furrowed in frustration, Kiyoomi is sure his expression is probably the same.
“Is that because you already hold the title for biggest pride in the world?” he spits out.
“Yea yea yea, ya should consider a career in comedy Omi.” Atsumu sighs after Kiyoomi doesn’t say anything else. “Now come on. I don’t want you to bleed out n die here”. He stands up and holds a hand out to Kiyoomi.
“I can fix it myself” Kiyoomi doesn’t move to grab his hand. Instead, he remains on the floor and keeps his eyes on the floorboards that are stained with blood.
“it’s your dominant arm dipshit, you think you can clean and stitch it yourself?” Atsumu sounds frustrated, but Kiyoomi can’t swallow the embarrassment of ending up in this situation, let alone allowing Atsumu to fix it. It was Kiyoomi’s own fault he got hurt, he shouldn’t allow Atsumu to clean up a mess that isn’t his.
“Yea… i’ll just-“
“Kiyoomi, please ” at the sound of his voice breaking Kiyoomi looks up at Atsumu. He’s still standing with his hand stretched out for Kiyoomi to take. Atsumu’s eyes are shiny with unshed tears and Kiyoomi looks away.
He reaches up and takes his hand. Atsumu pulls him to his feet all too gently. They make their way upstairs and Atsumu supports him more than he needs to. The kindness he shows makes Kiyoomi feel like he’s going to puke.
Atsumu helps Kiyoomi into his chair at the table. “‘M gonna grab the first aid kit, love” he says quietly. Kiyoomi sits frozen in his chair. He’s still desperately holding onto his arm. The pain hasn’t subsided and now the guilt of Atsumu preparing to dress his wounds makes the pain twice as bad.
Atsumu returns with rags, water, and first aid supplies. He pulls the other chair around the table to sit in front of Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi’s eyes stay focused on the table, he can’t bring himself to look at him. The shame burns too hot in his gut.
A hand gently rests on Kiyoomi’s thigh “I’m gonna need ya to move yer hand so I can clean ya up” Kiyoomi reluctantly pulls his hand away from his bloody arm and allows Atsumu to help him unbutton and remove his shirt. Atsumu folds it and sets the blood soaked shirt on a towel so it won’t stain Kiyoomi’s table.
“This is gonna hurt real bad darlin’” Atsumu says after prepping the cloth to clean out Kiyoomi’s wound. Kiyoomi keeps his eyes down and nods in recognition. Atsumu’s hands come up to hold Kiyoomi’s arm. They both hold their breath for a moment before the cloth is pressed to Kiyoomi’s skin.
Kiyoomi hisses in pain and clenches his eyes shut “‘M sorry, ‘M sorry” Atsumu repeats in a whisper as he makes quick work of cleaning his arm.
He pulls the cloth away a few minutes later, but it feels like an eternity. “I have to stitch it up Omi, it’s too deep to just leave it.” Atsumu says and Kiyoomi nods in approval again. Sweat is beading across his forehead and his breaths are shallow.
While Atsumu stitches his arm, Kiyoomi feels like he isn’t even there. His mind is elsewhere and repeating the same questions over and over
Why is he here? Why is he doing this for me? Why is he so gentle with me? Why did he come back? Why does he care?
Kiyoomi feels the bandage get wrapped over his arm and Atsumu’s hands leave him. Kiyoomi sags in his chair, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. They both let out a breath in relief. He spends a few moments trying to even out his breathing, and pretend like his arm isn’t still in an unbelievable amount of pain. He listens for Atsumu to leave or move but he hears nothing.
Atsumu still sits in the chair across from Kiyoomi and he can feel his gaze on him and it keeps Kiyoomi frozen there with his eyes shut. A few moments later Kiyoomi hears a sniffle. His eyes snap open and he looks over at Atsumu.
Atsumu is a crier. Kiyoomi knows that, Atsumu knows that, everyone knows that. But this is unlike anything Kiyoomi has seen in their time together and it breaks his heart. Tears are streaming down his face, it looks like he’s been crying the whole time he was tending to Kiyoomi’s wound. Kiyoomi stomach turns and the guilt intensifies.
“What's wrong?” Kiyoomi finally says and his voice sounds nervous, even to himself.
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong? Are you seriously asking me what’s wrong?” Atsumu replies sounding exasperated, his voice goes a little high pitched “You got fucking shot! How are you not freaking out?”
“I- yea…. you don’t have to worry…. I’m going to be fine…. right?” his eyes searching Atsumu’s face for answers.
Atsumu’s eyes clench shut and more tears spill out. “I was so worried when I heard the gunshots.”
“you shouldn’t worry about me” Kiyoomi shakes his head
“well, I do! I worry about ya every time I go! I don’t want ya to get hurt and I don’t want to lose ya! Same as you worry for me and don’ want me to get hurt” His eyes are frenzied over Kiyoomi. “You got hurt today, bad and yer insisting it’s fine. Hell, this is the first time you’ve even looked at me since we came up here! What’s gotten into you?”
Kiyoomi looks down and swallows “It's just…. Embarrassing” he grits out.
“Embarrasing? What the hell are ya talkin’ about?” Atsumu asks, he sounds genuinely confused.
“Why aren’t you saying you told me so? I said I could take care of myself, and I… I still got hurt” Kiyoomi asks instead of directly answering the question.
“That’s what this is about? Just cause ya got hurt doesn’ mean ya can’t take care of yourself”
“Why are you taking care of me then? Why are you here?” He digs, he needs answers and he’s having a hard time making sense of everything.
Atsumu lets out a loud exasperated laugh “Have ya lost yer fuckin’ marbles? Omi, I’m taking care of you cause I care about you. I’m taking care of ya cause yer my partner and I’m not gonna let ya bleed out just so I can say ‘I told ya so’”
“Oh” He sits, stunned
Atsumu clears his throat. “And I’m… I’m sorry for what I said last night, I know yer fully capable of fightin for yerself, I shouldn’t’ve implied ya needed me to do that fer ya” apologies don’t come easy to Atsumu, so the fact he even tried means a lot.
“Yea, you shouldn’t have” Kiyoomi says with a twitch of his lips upward as he looks up at Atsumu. Atsumu smiles back at him hesitantly.
“I saw the body on the ground by the door of the saloon, I know ya can take care of yerself just fine” Atsumu says
Kiyoomi hums in response, today has felt exhausting and the little energy he has is quickly leaving.
“That was an impressive shot, who taught ya to shoot like that?” he asks. He’s leaning forward with his elbow on his knee and his chin propped on his hand as he looks up at Kiyoomi. The soft look in his eyes fills Kiyoomi with warmth again.
“Wouldn’t you like to know” Kiyoomi teases as he looks down at him.
“Yea I would, that’s why I asked” Atsumu kicks lightly at Kiyoomi’s foot with his own.
“Mhmm, maybe one day I’ll spill all my secrets. For now, I need to go to sleep. It’s been a long day” Kiyoomi tries to move his arm and winces. Atsumu stands and holds his hand out for Kiyoomi to take. This time he doesn’t hesitate, he allows Atsumu to help pull him up gently.
“Are we okay?” Atsumu looks up at Kiyoomi while they stand nearly chest to chest at the table of his apartment. The shouts in the streets have ceased, but if the world was ending outside, Kiyoomi would put it off as a problem to worry about tomorrow.
“Yes, we’re okay.” Kiyoomi says, leaning down to press his lips to Atsumu’s forehead. “Thank you for helping me, I know I can be difficult”
“Yer my favorite kind of difficult though”
“I would hope I am”
“Come on, you should rest”
“What a great idea, I’m so glad you came up with that wonderful idea” Kiyoomi rolls his eyes, as if he hadn’t just said that a few moments ago.
“Yea, yea, ha ha, yer so funny” he shoos Kiyoomi towards the bedroom.
He helps Kiyoomi dress for bed and lays with him till he falls asleep. The world outside continues moving and they have many problems to deal with, but those are for tomorrow. For now, the feeling of letting himself be taken care of is settling deep in Kiyoomi’s chest. It’s a new and uncomfortable feeling, but it’s one that Kiyoomi can see himself appreciating and even liking in due time. And Atsumu will give him that time to grow comfortable with it.