Chapter Text
This was it.
Finally arriving at the gates of Yumenosaki made everything feel far too real. Shinobu breathed shakily, worrying his lip as he checked his phone again. The time hadn’t changed since last time he’d looked — or, wait, one minute passed — and no new messages had popped up. He was alone out here, sheltered only by the shadow of the wall. Like a ninja, he thought, and it helped only slightly.
It would be fine. Yuuta told him he would be here. Just in case, he read back through their messages. The time was… Yes, the time was right; he couldn’t overthink that too much. And Yuuta had agreed, rather wholeheartedly, to accompany him when he had texted the question after classes.
Ah, what had Shinobu even been thinking?! Asking Yuuta to come with him—it had been entirely impulse, and he hadn’t even had a plan for where to go when he’d said it, just a horrifying burst of courage and a sinking feeling that he may never do this if he didn’t do it today. Even now, his mind was blank. Perhaps they could go to the shopping district, or a park, or a restaurant, but everything he thought of just felt too much like—
This was not a date! He only wanted to speak to Yuuta. Nothing more.
His mind, unhelpfully, kept circling the idea the more he tried to distract himself. Shinobu pressed his phone against his forehead, eyes closing, and took a deep breath. His heart pounded relentlessly in his throat. He could not let his anxiety get the better of him now, of all times, but… Perhaps all of this was a mistake. Perhaps, if there was still time, he could—
“Shinobu-kun!”
A noise escaped his throat as he fumbled not to drop his phone. Yuuta slowed to a stop beside him, one eyebrow quirked. “Hm? Did I startle you? Sorry, you did seem off in your own world.”
Shinobu laughed nervously. “Yuuta-kun, hello! How shameful, for me to have been snuck up on, but I suppose that means I have taught you well in the ninja arts.”
Yuuta clicked his tongue. “Nah, I didn’t do anything special. Are you alright? It’s not like you to be distracted.”
“I- I am perfectly fine!” It sounded unconvincing even to himself. “Anyway, Yuuta-kun, I thought you were rehearsing with the Light Music Club?”
“We ended early. Well, more accurately, Aniki and I snuck out.” A dismissive gesture drew Shinobu’s attention to Yuuta’s shoulders; there was a distinct lack of headphones around his neck. “Oogami-senpai’s a great teacher and all, but once the newbies get him riled up, it pretty much spells the end of club activities. Too much yelling and not enough playing. Both of us had other things to do, so we left, and we’ll take the earful we get from him when it comes. Anyway—” He skipped a few steps ahead and spun to face Shinobu, a grin spreading on his face. “Where to, Shinobu-kun? You weren’t very specific when you asked me, you know, so I can’t help but be excited!”
The words registered in the farthest part of Shinobu’s awareness. Yuuta’s hair and clothes caught the air as he spun around, like some picturesque movie scene, like the very fabric fed off of his practiced grace; his smile widened when he caught Shinobu staring, but even then he could hardly look away. Yuuta was beautiful. Not exactly the type of thought he should have about a friend, but, well…
Wait, he asked a question.
“Ah, it is embarrassing, but I did not have any plans in particular for this afternoon,” he said finally. “I suppose I simply wanted to spend time with Yuuta-kun.”
Yuuta hummed. “It has been a while, hasn’t it? Both of us have been so busy with work lately, on top of everything we have to do for school, and being in separate classes… Of course I miss spending time with you, too. Well, let me think. There’s this café that Aniki and I— ah, ran across recently. I think you’d like the menu there, and it isn’t far from ES, so they recently started accepting L$. How does that sound?”
What— a café?! But— But isn’t that—
“Yes!” Shinobu— squeaked? He swallowed hard. “Yes! That sounds perfect to me. Shall we, then?”
“Hehe! Follow me, and— Off we go!”
—too much. This was turning into exactly what Shinobu hoped it wouldn’t. This was not a date.
Yuuta led the way, down a similar path as the one they would take to Ensemble Square, until they broke off into a couple of side city streets. With every step, Shinobu found himself falling gently into the rhythm he always did talking to Yuuta; that is, he relaxed, and his breath came easier, and he could almost forget the reason he asked Yuuta out with him today. Time the two of them spent together was peaceful, fun, warm—some of his favorite time in the world.
As they walked, he asked Yuuta about CosPro, curious but less informed than he’d like to be about the mythical Eden. Yuuta waved off his questions with laughs at the distant expense of Eden’s leader— right, they were roommates, something that still boggled Shinobu’s mind. He was asked in turn about the progress made by RYUSEITAI-N, which was… less than ideal given their situation, but a plan was forming, with the combined efforts of himself, Midori, and Tetora. Soon enough they would hit the ground running with their new fledgling heroes and get their fresh start in Yumenosaki. He knew it.
“And what of 2wink?” he said back. “I believe I saw recently that the two of you will be performing in a live at school.”
“Mhm, mhm! We may be officially recognized idols under CosPro, but we’re still just second-year students, so we’ll do school-sponsored lives and events just like everyone else.” Yuuta beamed at him. “That’s why I was glad you called me out today—I’ve been meaning to invite you. Though, if you’re on duty with the Broadcast Committee then I guess there’s no point in asking.”
Shinobu blinked at him, affronted. “No point? But of course I will be there! I would not miss one of 2wink’s lives for the world.”
Yuuta laughed. “I’m glad to hear it, but that’s not what I meant! You’ll be in the sound booth, won’t you?”
“Oh. A- ah, that is correct! I- I- I will be there regardless!”
Of course that was what he meant—! If only the ground could open up and swallow him at this moment, but— well, perhaps Yuuta’s giggling made it all worth it. The smile he shot him most certainly did, and Shinobu’s heart leapt so hard at the sight he almost missed his next words.
“Thanks, Shinobu-kun. I’ll sing my heart out for you!”
That was a normal thing to say. It was normal, Shinobu told himself, they were idols, so something like that didn’t mean anything special. Either way, Yuuta turned his gaze forward, and Shinobu followed suit, trying to memorize the soft look that had been in Yuuta’s eyes. “Criss×Cross will be our opening act,” Yuuta continued. “I expect a lot from them. It’s my first time properly being someone’s mentor, you know, but they’re improving already. Hehe, you’ll be impressed. Oh, look! There it is!”
Criss×Cross, a new unit formed this year of a first-year duo and a second-year leader. Shinobu knew the second-year from his own class, though the two had never worked together, and Yuuta spoke rather animatedly of one of the first years who had joined the Light Music Club. The unit debuted earlier in the year and, by Shinobu’s judgment, had a bright future ahead of them, especially with 2wink’s coaching.
The little building Yuuta pointed out sat securely in a small strip of other buildings along the road, unassuming except for the neon “open” sign. Through the floor-length windows sat a cozy café, moderately full of customers, bright and visually warm, decorated in vivid colors. Shinobu looked at it, then up at Yuuta, at the soft and horribly affectionate look he was directing at the restaurant’s sign, then down and away again, because he didn’t think he was supposed to see that.
“It looks like a lovely place, Yuuta-kun!” he said instead, bouncing on his heels. “Shall we go inside?”
“Yes, let’s!”
Yuuta— grabbed his hand?!
And then he was being led inside, and his hand was warm, and Yuuta was in front of him with wide eyes and a laugh, full of no less affection than Shinobu had seen a moment ago. Shinobu tightened his grip without thinking as his vision spun around him. Oh, he was starting to feel downright nauseous.
But… Yuuta’s hand was gentle. He didn’t let go.
The two of them were seated, and Shinobu felt the intimate loss of Yuuta’s warmth when they separated. Yuuta jumped on the chance to order for both of them—to Shinobu’s relief—and they were left waiting.
Shinobu settled into his chair, glancing out the window beside him at the street. His hand still felt like it was buzzing, and he massaged his palm, trying to make the feeling abate so he could focus. There was a reason he was here, after all, and he did not want his nerves to fail him, but— Ninja training could never have prepared him for this—
Yuuta shifted, drawing his attention. His cheek squished cutely where he leaned against his hand, and Shinobu hoped he appeared to be looking Yuuta in the eye. “So, Shinobu-kun. Do you want to tell me what this is really about?”
Shinobu blinked. “Er… What do you…”
He twirled his hair around one of his fingers. “Weeell, as much as I love spending time with you, it’s not like you to call on me for no reason like this. So? What’s wrong? Come on, you can tell me!” His eyes darkened. “Is someone bothering you? It’s not one of your first years, is it…?”
“Wh- What? No! No, no, no way, there’s nothing—” Too loud, too loud! Shinobu’s cheeks burned, and he clenched his fists in his lap, eyes carving a hole in the table. His heart pounded in his head hard enough to make him lightheaded.
But this was it. He couldn’t back out now, not without concerning Yuuta more. Shame on him for concerning his beloved friend at all…
“I… It is true. That is, I did not lie to you— My primary desire was simply to spend time with Yuuta-kun.”
Yuuta chuckled. “That’s nice to hear. Sooo, what is it, then? It’s starting to sound like you just asked me on a date.” He sang the last word.
Shinobu clenched his eyes shut. Silence descended.
“Er, Shinobu-kun..?”
“The truth is, Yuuta-kun, I- I- I—”
He snapped his head up, meeting Yuuta’s gaze head on—surprised green on determined, misty yellow. Yuuta’s hand slipped from his cheek as he sat up.
“I did not lie to you, Yuuta-kun, and neither did I have a plan for this afternoon. I simply knew I needed to see you, and I needed to tell you, that I…” He lowered his voice. “Yuuta-kun, I believe I am in love with you.”
Yuuta froze.
Shinobu barreled on. “I- I— If that was too much, I apologize! I do not wish to lose your friendship, no matter what, unless— unless Yuuta-kun would prefer that, in which case, should you ask, I will leave immediately! I will not ask for your judgment now if you do not wish to give it— nay, I will not ask for your judgment at all if you wish to simply forget this ever happened. Be assured, I will underst—”
Laughter?
His breath bubbled in his throat. Yuuta was laughing, quietly, almost hysterically, hands clenched on the table like a lifeline. A stone dropped into Shinobu’s stomach.
“Shinobu-kun, I… I’m sorry—”
“No! Do not apologize! I should not have— I cannot and will not begrudge you—”
“That isn’t— I—”
His chest was rising and falling rapidly, as much as Shinobu’s own, and a corner of Shinobu’s terror fell away into concern. Then Yuuta released his iron grip on the table, one hand going for his hair and the other fumbling for his pocket.
He tugged the turquoise pins from from their place.
“You see, Shinobu-kun, um, I wasn’t exactly honest with you, so…”
Shaking hands drew pink pins from his pocket and affixed them opposite of their counterparts. All of a sudden, Shinobu could not look away from the space where his headphones should have been. The world spun around him.
“H- H- H- Hinata-kun?!”
This could not be right! Shinobu had known the twins for a year, he knew how to tell them apart, and he had known he was walking through the busy streets with Yuuta— Yet here, right in front of him—
Hinata— Hinata! —winced at Shinobu’s squeak and held his hands out as if to shush him. “I’m sorry, Shinobu-kun, I didn’t mean to lie to you, honest! You see, Yuuta-kun, something came up, and he didn’t have time to let you know, so I thought I might come with you instead—”
Something unfamiliar was bubbling in Shinobu. He thought it might be anger.
“Hinata-kun, you—! Why would you do such a thing?! You could have simply let me know when we met, rather than bring me out here like this! If Yuuta-kun could not have messaged me, you could have done so instead! And I- I said such things to you, I cannot— How could I not have known?!” He dropped his head in his hands, tugging at his bangs. His heart was racing, breathing steadily picking up— He needed to calm down, but how could he?!
“Shinobu-kun, I’m sorry! I will make it up to you, and to- to Yuuta-kun, if such a thing is possible?!”
This could not be right! Shinobu thought back— Everything they had done since leaving Yumenosaki had told him he was with Yuuta, down to the way he moved as they walked, but— but he had been more energetic than usual, had he not, and Hinata was the one who kept himself in motion like that! Hinata was the one more likely to grab another’s hand, especially in public, the one that more often had that bouncy lilt to his voice that sent a thrill down Shinobu’s spine when Yuuta spoke with it, but—
But it must have been—
“No, I cannot accept this!” Shinobu looked up, again, eyes burning into Hinata’s; his hair was disheveled enough he could see with both eyes, but he could not bring himself to care. “You must be Yuuta-kun. You have been my precious friend since last year, the same precious friend that brought me to this place today. Tell me, why are you doing this? Did I offend you so deeply with what I said?! You could simply have refused, in fact I would have preferred—”
“Ah, Aoi-kun!”
Both of them jolted, turning to watch the smiling waitress approach. She was different than the one that seated them, and Hinata seemed to recognize her, sitting up straight in his chair. “Kai-san—!”
She lowered the plates in her hand with a flourish and set them down on the table. “Always a pleasure to see one of my favorite customers! Tell me, how is your brother? Not giving you too much trouble, I hope?”
Hinata laughed in a way that sounded suspiciously like his cheek was being pinched. Shinobu did not look up to find out, staring at the dishes delivered to them.
They were desserts. Covered in toppings, and cream, and dusted with what looked like sugar.
They would be utterly, unbearably sweet.
He sucked in a breath and looked up at Hinata. Their eyes met, and he saw the exact moment Hinata realized.
With his heart heavy, stomach rolling, and tears falling, Shinobu ran, and he did not look back.
//
As the spell of sleep began falling on Seisoukan Apartments, the door to one Aoi’s dorm clicked open, and one of the twins slipped inside.
“You’re back awfully late,” huffed the voice of his brother from the couch. “Sooo? How did it go?”
The new arrival pressed his back to the door and, very slowly, slid down to rest on the floor. After a silent moment, his brother’s face appeared, crinkled with concern that only grew when he could not meet his eyes.
“Er,” said the one on the couch. He gestured at his own hair. “You have a little, uh…”
“Aniki,” interrupted the one at the door. “I messed up. Badly.”