Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Here’s the problem with learning a lesson the hard way; it tends to stick around.

It wouldn’t be too bad if it was just a regular lesson, like learning not to drink from the beakers in Donnie’s room or challenging Raph to arm wrestling or underestimating Mikey. Leo had long since learned those lessons (he burped smoke for a week after the beaker incident, wallowed in shame and an impressive bruise after losing to Raph, and he’d never been prouder of Mikey when he won the 3v1 against his brothers).

In the end, though, they weren’t really hard to learn. At least, not compared to the most recent lesson.

A lesson learned when his brothers nearly died, when his life was on the line, when he was trapped in a prison dimension and thought he’d never get to see Mikey’s smile or Donnie’s snark or Raph’s laugh again.

‘It’s not about you,’ he learned. ‘You’re not safe, they’re in danger, it’s not about you.’

None of them were thinking clearly after the invasion, not in the slightest. It was enough that they’re were all alive and happy and whole, and Leo refused the think of the way they were all injured or broken. Refused to imagine the worst case scenario, refused to think that his brothers wouldn’t have found a way to rescue him from that prison.

But he still felt that edge in him, the anxiety and worry that never seemed to go away. The feeling to look over his shoulder, to herd his brothers together and stand over them with a sword, night and day.

And for all his whining and joking and lackadaisical attitude, Leo didn’t do things halfway. When he learned something, when he meant something, when he felt something, he committed.

All this to say, Leo hadn’t slept in three days. Longer, technically, since they’d been awake during the day of the invasion, but who was counting, really?

It wasn’t for a lack of trying - or at least, not entirely. It was just that every time he made to lay down, he’d remember the way Raph’s shell cracked, the way Donnie’s back was torn open, the way Mikey was literally splintering himself to hold the portal for just another second, just another second, just another second…

The images came to him, unbidden, in the dark behind his eyelids.

And there would be no sleep that night.

It would be fine, he convinced himself. He’d try again tomorrow, and by then he’d be tired enough for it. Except three days later, he sat fully awake on the couch, feeling bleary and exhausted and more than a little afraid of trying to sleep. The dark of the lair, the silence around them, seemed infinitely stifling.

It’s not the prison dimension, Leo reminded himself sternly. And if his hands shook when he mindlessly changed the TV channel, no one would know but him.

“Leo?”

Leo blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. He glanced back to see Raph, yawning, flop beside him on their meager couch. “Hey, leader,” Raph greeted quietly, with half a smile. “I said your name about four times before you answered. Everything okay?”

Quip, his mind supplied uselessly as Leo stared at his brother blankly. He needed a clever one-liner.

“I’m fine,” Leo answered, trying to aim for a more sassy tone. He genuinely had no idea where it landed. “Thought I’d try the Donnie lifestyle.”

Raph’s snort cued a success, and even through his tired haze Leo grinned. Still got it.

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Raph laughed, wiping his face with one hand. “And hey, you must’ve pulled it off, it’s daylight on the surface.”

Leo fought to hold his smile in place, with a small tendril of defeat and dread creeping into his stomach.

Four days of no sleep, now.

“Anyway, Don says he’s got a situation up top,” Raph carried on, though his eyes were fixed firmly on his brother. He needed to practice his acting skills. “But if you haven’t slept, I’m sure the guys won’t mind if you sit this one out.”

Alarms immediately blared through Leo’s mind, and he rocketed to his feet without any conscious thought. “No!” he said, just a bit too loudly. “No, I’m fine, I can go.”

Raph didn’t look entirely convinced, but Leo was already booking it to the Turtle Tank. It took him two tries to step up into the back, fighting to keep from seeing double, and he puffed with pride when he finally fell back into his seat.

“Galileo, you look awful Leo. You’re gonna have to take a nap after patrol,” Donnie snarked first thing, eyes never leaving his control panel. Mikey, draped over his shoulder, gave Leo a sympathetic smile and a thumbs up that Leo brightly returned.

It was fine. He’d go with them, make sure they didn’t get hurt or anything, and then maybe he’d be tired enough to fall asleep. The perfect plan.

Raph hopped in, oddly quiet, and Leo doggedly avoided eye contact.

Everything was fine. He’d learned his lesson.

——

The fight was almost anticlimactic, all things considered. Which, fair - they’d just fought an alien species bent on taking over the planet; no street skirmish with the foot clan could hold up against that.

His brothers seemed unaffected as ever, gleefully dodging and whooping and landing blow after blow on their opponents. Even Donnie was smiling as he went, and that was a rare feat to be sure.

Leo wished he could say he was enjoying it as much, except all his energy was focused on trying not to collapse.

He felt bone-deep exhaustion through his entire frame, weighing down his limbs and slowing his mind. Kind of like fighting through a pool of molasses, where everyone else floated in the air.

It was annoying. Just a few minutes in and he was gritting his teeth, gripping one sword like a lifeline. He needed both hands to hold onto the hilt, to keep it from shaking in his grasp. The rest of the team hopefully wouldn’t notice the lack of portals or jokes through the battle. Still, he held his own against part of the soldiers, able to deter their attention for long enough.

“Aw, the poor little foot clan is lost!” Mikey teased brightly somewhere behind him, followed by the ever-present rattling of chains.

(The robot arm was coming down too fast, and Mikey still stood, hands up in the air. The subway tunnels were damp and dark and too far apart, he’d never get there in time. Donnie threw himself over Mikey, but that wasn’t enough, Leo was going to lose the rest of his brothers and it was no one’s fault but his own-)

Leo spun, eyes flickering desperately until they landed at last on Mikey. The orange banded turtle crouched on top of an enemy, rising to stand with a cheerful expression.

And then he met Leo’s gaze, and his expression went slack with terror-

Something heavy cracked against Leo’s head, shattering against his right temple, and everything blurred.

The darkness of sleep he had craved for so long finally crawled along the edges of his vision. He wanted to welcome it, but in the back of his mind a little voice reminded him that he needed to stay awake, even if he couldn’t quite remember why.

Someone screamed. Leo should get up and check in his brothers, just in case someone was hurt, except the room was spinning, and his head hurt, and he couldn’t move. Someone stood over top of him, and he felt something like a boot pressing heavy against his plastron.

That hurts, he registered. And maybe he said it out loud, because suddenly that figure went flying off of him. In their place was a sea of green, and Leo instantly relaxed.

That’s right, his brothers were here too.

Somebody was talking, loudly enough it made his head ache. The words ran together until he couldn’t make them out anymore. Something was wrong, he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

The world shifted sharply, until he was draped across a shoulder he’d recognize anywhere as Raph’s. There was a clang of metal, and suddenly something heavy was on his back, but Raph didn’t seem phased by it, so Leo let that information slip away.

“Stay awake, Leo!” Raph shouted. Right next to his ear too, that was rude.

“Not like I can sleep anyways,” he slurred helpfully, shutting his eyes.

The last thing he saw before passing out was an awful lot of glowing red magic.

Chapter Text

It was only a few minutes later that Leo found himself blinking awake.

Just a few minutes, because the world hated him, and he awoke to the world’s worst headache, because the universe also hated him, and if whatever was under him didn’t stop moving he was going to vomit-

Abruptly, it all came crashing back. The foot solider, the lack of sleep, his brothers in a fight-

His brothers.

Blind with panic, he lurched upwards. Or at least, he tried to, but he felt weak and too heavy to move and a giant hand kept him still.

Someone was taking him. He was being taken away from his brothers

Holding his breath, Leo let himself go limp. With one hand, he stretched until - score - he brushed up against his sword.

His kidnapper caught on a second too late, nearly slamming both of them to a halt in his desperation to stop, but Leo was already teleporting away.

He swore he heard someone calling his name as he vanished. He ignored it.

In his heavily-concussed mind, the plan was fairly simple; teleport as far as he could, then run the rest of the way until he joined up with Mikey and Donnie and Raph. Definitely so he could show off during the fight, and not because he could feel his skin crawling with anxiety that they were still battling the Foot without any sort of backup. Good plan, solid plan.

The glaring problem appeared, however, when he popped into a nondescript back alley. On cue, his knees buckled beneath him, dragged down by an unexpected weight on his back, and boy, maybe this wasn’t such a great plan after all. Whoops.

He crashed against the brick wall beside him, wincing as his shell scraped against it awkwardly, and struggled to find some sort of balance. Everything was too unfocused, too overwhelming, and he didn’t even know where his brothers were. His hands shook as he tried to raise his sword for another portal, but the hilt tumbled out of his grip.

Mikey and Donnie and Raph. They could be dead, they could be captured by the Foot, they could be hurt, and what could Leo do about it? He couldn’t even sleep at night - Leonardo was useless right now.

He was breathing too fast, heartbeat racing in his chest, but he couldn’t get enough air, he couldn’t reach his sword, he couldn’t -

His vision swam as he fell, blurring the world around him, and suddenly he wasn’t moving anymore. In fact, he realized after another long few seconds, he hadn’t faceplanted into the concrete. Long metal poles were holding him up - which was weird, but he recognized those metal arms-

“You’re lucky my tech still works, Leo, because you’re heavy. How in Darwin’s name did you even get back here, dumb-dumb?”

“Donnie,” Leo said stupidly. It was absurd how much anxiety seemed to just vanish at the appearance of his twin brother. “I found you.”

“You’re an idiot, Nardo,” Donnie said, tone just shy of scathing. His mask was crooked and a little dirty, but he seemed otherwise unscathed. Donnie reached forward to brace Leo up into a sitting position, hands resting on his shoulders. “It’s good to see you, too. Where’s Raph?”

Leo opened his mouth, but slowly shut it again. He should make a joke, he knew that, but he….he couldn’t think. He didn’t know where Raph was. The edge of panic started to rise again, clawing up his throat.

His expression must have given him away, because Donnie’s eyes widened in alarm. “Okay,” Donnie said, and darted forward to snatch away Leo’s sword just before Leo could use it to vanish. Leo cursed his twin brother for being so smart and so not-concussed; a disadvantage against an already genius brother.

“Hey!” Leo yelped indignantly. “That’s mine!”

Donnie, as he was prone to do, ignored him altogether in favor of tugging out his phone. Without any effort to fend of Leo’s grabby hands, he held the speaker to his mouth. “Mikey, go grab Raph, please. Sending our location now.”

Leo wanted to fight, except suddenly Donnie shifted to hold his weight, and Leo found himself slumping almost bonelessly against his twin. One hand curled over Don’s shoulder, brushing against his shell.

A shell made very much of leather, not metal.

“Your shell feels weird,” Leo said blearily. He was so, so tired. How long had it been since he last slept again? It was a while, he knew that much. “Where’s your…where’s your battle shell?”

To his surprise, Donnie snorted. Suddenly his fingers were poking the side of Leo’s head, and he couldn’t even escape from no doubt a medical examination. A terrible brother move.

“You really are concussed, Nardo. I’d be impressed if I weren’t concerned about brain damage.” And before any of those words could even start to sink in, Donnie added helpfully, “And you’re wearing my battle shell, idiot. That’s why it’s still holding you up.”

Leo paused. With a hesitant air, he stretched a hand behind him to feel - yup, that was metal alright. And shell, was it heavy. No wonder he couldn’t walk.

“How did it get there?” Leo asked.

Donnie opened his mouth - looking more like a deer in the headlights than Leo had ever seen him - and immediately snapped it shut again to the sound of shuffling at the mouth of the alley. Leo felt him tense and relax again immediately, so that probably meant they weren’t about to die, at least.

“Oh Leo, you should have seen it! I didn’t even know Donnie could move that fast! You went down, and it was like a purple tornado cut across the field. He slammed that shell on you - and he didn’t even need it to fight the Foot! You look kind of awful, by the way.”

“There you are, fearless. Are you gonna let me carry you this time, or you gonna run away again?”

Despite himself - despite the ache that enveloped his whole body and the worst concussion ever and the days of missing sleep - Leo found himself grinning at his brothers, coming to join the twin huddle he’d accidentally created. Raph’s giant hand carefully touched Leo’s shell, thumb swiping across the rough texture, and Mikey settled under his arm with a smile.

“Hey guys,” Leo greeted. And if his words wobbled with too much emotion, none of them mentioned it.

Donnie stood from his crouched position, flexing and stretching for show. The bandages on his back looked dirty and a little bloodied, but Leo zoned in on the sword in his brother’s hand.

“Still my sword, Dontron,” Leo said, though with less conviction. Donnie glanced over with a raised eyebrow, flourishing the metal flippantly.

“You have the worst concussion I’ve ever seen, Nardo,” Donnie reminded him, not unkindly. “I can manage one portal.” After a beat, he added, “In theory.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Leo saw Raph opening his mouth in protest, just as Donnie made a fast swipe. A mix of purple and blue energy crackled around them, and then they were falling.

To Donnie’s credit, Leo landed on the couch. The impact stole his breath for a long second, but there was no lasting damage at all.

His brothers, on the other hand, crashed against the floor. He spared a brief spark of panic about whether they were okay, right until Mikey and Raph sat up from the pile and yelled, “Donnie!”

Leo couldn’t help it. It was like a dam broke loose inside him, and suddenly he was just cackling. His chest ached with the force of it, just on this side of hysterical, and Leo kept giggling as his head thumped back against the cushions.

“Uh, Leo? You good?” Raph asked quietly, sitting in front of the couch. “I know Donnie’s terrible at portalling, but still.”

Leo finally wheezed to a stop, unable to explain the tears in his eyes. And suddenly he wasn’t laughing anymore.

“Leo! Don’t cry, it’s okay!” Mikey blurted, hopping up next to him. His eyes were so wide and worried, and Leo just… broke.

He choked out a sob, covering his mouth with one hand and squeezing his eyes shut. “I haven’t been sleeping,” he confessed between cries, shaking. “And I’m so, so tired. I can’t - I can’t do this, you guys-“

He lost himself then, for a while.

It was like a tidal wave rushing over him, swallowing him whole. Hands grabbed his, the battle shell clinked off his back, fingers wiped away his tears. Through it all Leo shuddered and trembled, fighting to stay afloat in the pain and fear and chaos of his mind.

When he came back to the present, Leo opened his eyes blearily. He still felt pressure on his arms, his hands. Someone was holding him, too, and he should be worried except he didn’t have the strength to hold onto that feeling.

“We’ve got you, Leon,” Donnie said next to him. Leo turned his head slowly, surprised to see his less affectionate brother carefully holding his hand. Then, Donnie glanced upwards and gave a half smile. “Thanks for the blankets, Shelldon.”

“Of course,” the robot responded, and Leo realized that the living room had become more like a pillow fort.

To his left, Leo saw Mikey curled around a stuffed animal, pressed against his leg and snoring lightly. That meant Raph was holding him, he thought belatedly, and tipped his head back to look at his older brother.

Raph, leaning against Donnie with only a little of his weight, smiled down reassuringly. “We’re all here, little bro,” he promised quietly, thumping his chin on top of Leo’s head. “Don says he’ll wake you up every few hours to check on the concussion, but you’re allowed to sleep.”

Leo swallowed past a dry lump in his throat. If he had any tears left, his eyes would have been a watery mess. As it was, he just gave a wobbly smile. “What if I can’t sleep, still?” he asked, only half joking.

Raph shifted, easing the whole group backwards just a bit. Donnie, completely out of character, scooted closer to tangle his arms with Leo’s. Leo almost wondered if he’d been smacked on the head again, to imagine a cuddle bug twin brother.

The answer would be obvious tomorrow, that Donnie was worried about him.

But for tonight, Donnie reached up and carefully tugged off Leo’s bandana, bumping foreheads ever so carefully. “You will, I promise,” Donnie told him. “And we’ll be here until you do.”

“And Dee knows everything,” Mikey mumbled sleepily from his spot. “Trust us, bro.”

And, well. Leo could learn to do that.

For the first time since the Kraang, Leo closed his eyes and slept, brothers in his grasp.