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Adjusting after the war was supposed to be easy. Everything was back to normal, after all. The villains were gone, the country was rebuilt, it had been years since it all happened. They could finally live peacefully.
Bakugo and Midoriya shared an apartment and matching rings after the whole ideal. They had been married for years, they had been happy together for years. There was nothing to fear anymore. Right?
Midoriya couldn’t help it, though. Keeping an eye on Bakugo, calling him constantly, keeping a tracker on his phone. He would hold his hand just a little too tight, he would check the locks religiously, and he would beg Bakugo not to leave his side unless necessary.
The blonde didn’t mind it much. Bakugo knew it put Midoriya more at ease to do these things, even though he was capable of protecting himself. It didn’t impact him negatively anyway, since he liked being with Midoriya.
But right now, Bakugo was snoring on the couch alone with a dead phone flat on his stomach. He had been watching some boring TV while Midoriya went out to get groceries from down the street.
“I’ll be right back, alright Kacchan?”
“Whatever, nerd.”
It wasn’t supposed to take long at all, but Midoriya had been stopped on the street and asked for an autograph despite his mask and hat concealing his identity. It was a quiet afternoon, but a curious crowd formed and he had to sign his way out to get home.
On the way back, he tried to call Bakugo to apologize for being late, but Bakugo didn’t pick up. He tried calling again. He still didn’t pick up. Texts didn’t work. Another call. Another text. Maybe 10. The tracker app said he was at home, but not moving.
Midoriya’s breath was already catching in his throat. Did he check all the locks properly? What about the windows? He checked the door 10 times, he always did it 10 times just to be sure. Was it not enough? He had to get there as soon as humanly possible.
Midoriya rushed up the stairs of the apartment in terror. He had thrown the groceries to the wind. He didn’t realize how hard he was breathing and how his hands shook as he flipped through his keys to find the one to the front door.
“Kacchan, Kacchan…!”
He dropped the keys and cursed at himself for being so stupid. He desperately grabbed at the correct one and jammed it into the door to unlock it. His heart throbbed in his chest and the sound of screams from inside the apartment began to fill his ears.
The door finally gave and Midoriya threw himself through it, but he was too late. Again.
Bakugo laid there on the couch, a vicious hole in his chest. Blood spilled from his mouth and his arms lay dangling over the cushions.
Ice was gripping Midoirya and climbing up his throat. This couldn’t be happening. Things were supposed to be normal now.
“Kacchan?”
Lights from explosions flashed on him. The screams continued, accompanied by mocking laughter.
“Kacchan…?!”
Midoriya stumbled forward to get a better look, but tears were filling his eyes. His blurring vision did nothing to cloud the image in front of him. He remembered every single detail like it was yesterday. It always felt like yesterday.
He grabbed Bakugo by the shoulders and started to shake him.
“Kacchan…please, Kacchan, don’t leave me…!” The shaking became more violent, and his voice grew louder and more distressed. Adrenaline made all of his emotions that much more intense.
“Kacchan, get up, I’m sorry, PLEASE, Kacchan, wake UP!!”
Midoriya felt a hand slap him across the face, leaving a stinging mark.
“What the fuck is your problem?!” Bakugo hissed and wriggled beneath Midoriya uncomfortably. He sounded dreary, possibly drugged, maybe a zombie, or perhaps a ghost?
“Kacchan…?”
“I’m awake, I’m awake…!” Bakugo groaned and pushed Midoriya off of him. He picked up the bleeding hole in his chest and tried to turn it on. “Oh, shit, my phone died. I’m sorry, Deku.”
More screams and another round of boisterous laughter. The television was playing some kind of test of courage challenge featuring a bunch of blindfolded teenage girls holding various scary animals. Midoriya sat on the couch, completely stunned.
It was all in his head. Everything was okay. Everything was normal. But the tears still wouldn’t stop.
“Deku…? Hey, wait, why are you crying?” Bakugo’s voice instantly became concerned and he pushed his sleepiness aside to put his full attention on his husband. “Deku? Hey, nerd, look at me.”
Midoriya silently turned to him. His breath was shallow and he could feel that these tears were only the beginning. Something much worse was tightening in his chest.
“Izuku…” Bakugo furrowed his eyebrows and realized what this was about. In fact, he felt stupid for not realizing it sooner, but Midoriya always did like to keep his suffering to himself. He picked the TV remote off the floor and shut off the show.
Silence enveloped the apartment.
Midoriya flinched when Bakugo reached out to him, as if afraid this was still in his head. He allowed the blonde to grab his twitching hand and bring it to his chest. There was no wound and there was no blood.
Just a heartbeat. Bakugo’s chest held a confidently beating heart that Midoriya’s palm could feel.
“I’m okay, Izuku,” Bakugo promised and tried to smile at him despite how difficult it was. “But…are you okay?”
Midoriya choked on a sudden sob that he didn’t know he was holding back. His face was sad before, but it completely fell apart under the weight of that question.
“I can’t…unsee it,” he whispered and covered his mouth to try and contain that horrid feeling that was building up. “I want to enjoy the time we have… but… no matter what I do…!”
“Hey.” Bakugo pulled Midoriya onto his lap and brought him into a firm hug. Chest to chest, hearts whispering to each other. “I’m not going anywhere. You remember the wedding, right? Til death do us part? Well, I don’t plan to part even after death. I will always be with you.”
Bakugo turned to rest his forehead against Midoriya’s. He was hyperventilating and gripping onto the back of Bakugo’s shirt, afraid that his husband would disappear if he let go.
“I love you, Izuku. I have to protect you too, you know. Even if it’s from yourself.”
Everything came crashing down.
Midoriya made no attempt to stop his wails. All the anxieties, pain, and paranoia came flooding out of his eyes and mouth. His anguished cries were absolute torture to Bakugo’s soul, but he rubbed circles into his back to make it easier for both of them.
Bakugo remembered that day as well. He had resented being saved and making Midoriya feel this way. But the relief and ultimate trust he had in Midoriya when he had arrived…there was no one else he would have wanted to help him.
After an excruciating few minutes, Midoriya lay limp and exhausted against Bakugo. This hollow feeling was barely preferable, but at least he felt lighter.
“Is that better?” Bakugo asked quietly. He barely registered his husband’s small nod against his shoulder.
“Good.” Bakugo kissed the top of his head. “Stop being so hard on yourself. It’s…it’s hard on me too.” He held him tighter. The images of Midoriya being attacked by Shigaraki came to his mind in fragments he had buried deep in his psyche. Even now, he tried to shove them away.
“We’ll cope together from now on, okay? You’re not alone. I’m still here because of you, you know.” There was a quiver in his voice.
Midoriya sniffled and pulled back to look at his husband. Bakugo was smiling at him, but his eyes were getting teary. Seeing him like this made Izuku feel that they really could make it through the pain together and make life easier. Maybe not normal, but easier.
Midoriya mustered the energy to smile back. “Kacchan…thank you.”