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Diluc was bound to leave eventually.
That was the phrase in Kaeya’s mind every time he met with Diluc, which was nearly every day.
To some, it may seem like a solemn statement. A brother sad to see his other brother go. However, considering that Diluc had already left him once before – Kaeya was already desensitized to this “anguish”.
So no, Kaeya was not mourning the eventual loss of his brother’s company, far from it.
He was hoping.
‘Diluc would be bound to leave eventually,’
He would wish, grimacing as the two men started laughing.
‘ Eventually. ’
“… tripped over a bottle of wine…”
Kaeya groaned, knowing full well what had happened afterward.
“… his shoulder hit the shelf, and everything came flying down with it-”
Thoma gasped dramatically, hearing Diluc’s account.
“500,000 products worth of mora gone, just like that.”
“I was young .”
Kaeya interrupted, trying to defend his actions.
Diluc snorted, turning his head to look back at the man.
“15 is not young.”
Kaeya opened his mouth in an attempt to retaliate but was interrupted by Thoma.
“So? What happens next?”
Perhaps if these stories stayed between the group of three, then Kaeya would not be quite as irritated. But no. Somehow, and he uses the term “somehow” loosely, these stories reached the ears of the public. Every time he would walk outside, he would hear people warn him – “Be careful of the steps!”, “There’s a tree in front of you!”. Seriously, he was just clumsy as a child – a fawn trying to get used to its legs, he would soon grow into a magnificent deer. Everyone had their awkward stages… right?
And if that wasn’t enough, they even heard of his favored objects. From bottles of Death After Noon, to bouquets of Calla Lilies being given to him by young blushing girls, to crystal cores from some of the kids around town (he actually really liked them), Kaeya had had enough.
He absolutely could not wait for Diluc to leave for Mondstadt, putting him out of his misery once and for all… at least that was what he thought.
Now, standing at the dock, awkwardly, Kaeya sort of wished that he didn’t have to leave. Firstly, it would save him from an awkward interaction with his kinda-sorta-brother. And secondly, he wouldn’t have to feel that way again.
That feeling, where he wouldn’t be sure if they would leave just for a moment or for good. It was the twisting feeling of nervousness, wondering if he had just been abandoned, if he would never see that person again. It never made sense when it occurred, as if, for just a moment, someone disconnected the rational part of his brain from his emotions.
Sometimes, Thoma would go out to buy some groceries and Kaeya would panic. He would sit on the armchair closest to the door, pretending to be relaxed despite the growing chill within him. Then, not even half an hour later, Thoma would return, groceries in hand. He would question why Kaeya was just sitting there, staring at the door. He would laugh it off and pretend like he wasn’t a dog waiting for his owner to arrive.
He would sit and pretend that nothing had happened, as if he wasn’t brought back to the past – when his father left, when Diluc left. Under the dark night sky, rain dripped down his face, soaking into his clothes, as he sat, patient. As he waited for someone to return when they never did.
‘It isn’t raining today.’
Kaeya reminded himself, taking his eyes off the neatly stacked crates and looking up at the sky.
‘It is not raining, and the rain will not come.”
If he were paying attention, he would’ve noticed the footsteps approaching him.
“Kaeya?”
He snapped out of his trance, turning back to look at the redhead.
“Oh, Diluc-”
He laughed dryly, wincing as he did so.
“I didn’t expect to see you here.”
Diluc’s eyes slowly shifted, looking him up and down before sighing.
“What happened?”
“Nothing happened, nothing at all…”
Kaeya stared into the distance. From Inazuma, you could always see glimpses of Liyue, even Dragonspine, if it’s a sunny day.
“I was just wondering what the chances of rain were today.”
“From what I’ve been told, not high.”
Diluc shifted, moving forward so that the two were standing side by side.
A light breeze blew through, brushing wisps of hair away from Kaeya’s face.
Somehow, despite the bustle of the port, his world seemed silent. It was just him and Diluc, as if they were young kids again, sharing a moment under the sun.
“So… this is goodbye for now.”
Kaeya hummed, not bothering to turn his head away from the rays that shone onto his skin.
“Are you… angry? That I’m leaving?”
Kaeya shook his head, inhaling slowly.
“Actually, I was glad.”
Diluc seemed to freeze beside him, which was the intended effect.
“I was so incredibly happy to know that there will no longer be someone spreading senseless rumors about me.”
Kaeya heard an exhale, and felt Diluc nudge his shoulder with a chuckle. Looking to his left, he saw something unexpected – a soft smile on his brother’s face, one that he expected to have been washed away after the years.
“Don’t worry, even if I’m not here in person, the rumors will not cease. After all, I’ll be sending letters to both you and Thoma.”
Kaeya hummed, a twinkle shining in his eye.
“I assume that means I can send Jean a list of your childhood exploits?”
“I suppose that’s only fair…”
The two stood silently, both too sure and too unsure of what they wanted to say. The sound of a horn broke the standstill, indicating the soon departure of the boat.
Diluc turned to look at him once more, and Kaeya did in turn.
“Listen… I’m not really good at this stuff so…”
He exhaled, choosing not to speak, but rather open his arms.
“Just… yeah. If you don’t want to, that’s also fine but I’ll have you know, this is a one-time offer-”
It took Kaeya some time to truly process what was happening, and rightfully so. Diluc, known for being stoic and righteous, opened his arms up to a sinner (though, if anyone he knew heard him call himself that, he would likely be killed).
Diluc, seeing Kaeya stand still with shock, only huffed.
"Remember, one-time offer. Redeem now, or you've lost your chance."
Skeptically, Kaeya stepped forward. He wrapped his arms around the winery owner, leaving a bit of space between them out of hesitation. Although Kaeya could not think of a viable reason as to why he would be doing this, if not for the intended purpose.
Almost immediately, Diluc pulled him closer with an arm around his shoulders and a hand in his hair. He could feel his breath on his neck - a soft, subtle breeze that just barely tickled his skin. Soft , that was what the hug felt like, or perhaps what his heart felt like. A blanket of comfort, dragging him away from the thoughts of rain, of fear, of disappointment.
It was a familiar hug, one that he used to receive often - whenever the thunder got too loud, when his nightmares got too vivid. He would always sneak into Diluc’s room in the middle of the night, attempting to keep his footsteps silent. Then, a gentle knock on the closed door as he shivered - both fearful and cold. Once the door was open, he would be greeted with a warm, soft hug. The two of them would then head to bed, the older resting his chin on the top of his head. Diluc would always complain the next day, about how Kaeya messed up his hair, or how his feet were too cold. But deep inside, Kaeya always knew that he loved it, he loved knowing that he could protect his brother.
Sometimes Kaeya wondered if that night, it wasn’t his betrayal that led to the separation of two sworn brothers, but rather the possibility that he would one day be gone, and that Diluc would not be able to stop it. The possibility that one day, he would have a decision to make, and Diluc would no longer be able to protect him.
“I’m proud of you.”
The gruff voice cut through his pondering.
“Huh?”
Kaeya blinked, clueless. What could have possibly led to this?
Hearing his response, Diluc felt the need to clarify:
“I’m being serious. You’ve grown into someone father would be proud of… someone I’m proud of.”
“Sure but… why now?”
“It just felt like the right time.”
Diluc let his fingers comb through Kaeya’s hair, separating the blue strands.
Kaeya dug his face into the fabric of Diluc’s “formal” outfit - a far cry from the white linen shirts he had been wearing for the past few weeks.
He sighed,
“I hoped that you would stay just a while longer… but then I would have hoped again, and again, and again.”
Diluc snorted,
“Is this your way of saying ‘I’ll miss you?’”
“I thought it was obvious… please, at least, respond to my letters.”
Diluc hummed,
“Of course, you won’t have to worry about that. But you better uphold your end of the bargain. If I don’t get a response from you by the end of the week, I will make my way over to Inazuma.”
Kaeya laughed,
“Seems like you’re giving me the initiative to not respond on time.”
“I’ll make sure to bring some of your old childhood toys with me.”
Kaeya winced,
“On second thought…”
The two were interrupted by a holler from aboard the ship.
“Master Ragnvindr! The ship will depart soon.”
The man in question sighs, removing his hand from Kaeya’s hair.
He takes a step back, looking at his brother one last time.
“I suppose this is goodbye…”
He says, idly playing with his sleeve.
“For now.”
Kaeya reminded.
“For now.”
He smiles, nodding his head, before lifting it abruptly.
“Oh and, one more thing - before I forget.”
Quickly, he turns around, scourging through a box, before pulling out a familiar bottle.
“Death After Noon,”
Kaeya lets out a laugh.
“What a surprise!”
He takes the bottle into his hands, running his thumb over the label.
“Quite old too, must not have come cheap.”
Diluc stayed silent for a while, before murmuring.
“It was in father’s personal collection.”
Immediately, Kaeya looked up at Diluc, shocked.
“Diluc-”
The horn sounded, and a member on board shouted once again.
“Apologies, but it seems I must take my leave-”
Kaeya could clearly see that Diluc’s ears were slightly reddened at the top, an indication of his embarrassment. He couldn’t help but laugh, even after all these years, he was the same child as before.
“Thank you, Diluc.”
Kaeya smiled at him warmly, holding the bottle gently.
“I’ll miss you, a lot.”
Diluc smiled back at him,
“I’ll miss you too.”
Kaeya nodded and waved, smiling even as the ship disappeared into the horizon. And he would not stop smiling until the storm came.