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Flashbacks on a Film Reel

Summary:

Just a collection of one-shots that ended up here!

2. Aaron proposes, and they both face an insecurity of Emily's.

Notes:

hi hi! i'll be posting some of the shorter things i write here, i hope you enjoy them! happy reading <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It was late.

 

The lights in the bullpen were already dimmed, the whole space plunged into a gentle kind of almost-darkness and relative silence with the exception of an occasional ding of the elevators just outside the glass doors. Except that, the only other thing anyone would be able to hear was the soft rustling of papers and manila folders on her desk and the clicking of her pen. Emily’s desk lamp bathed the file in front of her in a somewhat blurry circle of light, making her eyes hurt in the late hour. She should’ve gone home a while ago.

 

Emily looks up, briefly closing her eyes against the pain she feels in them as if she’d been staring at the sun for too long. When the intricate white shapes behind her eyes dissipate, she sighs wearily and leans back in her chair, arms going above her head. Something in her neck pops as she stretches, and Emily repeats the motion, seeking some relief for her aching muscles. 

 

His light is on, too. She knows he’s still there in his office, just up the stairs; can see the shape of him hunched over the papers just as she has been for the past several hours. Aaron works too much, always has, but for some reason tonight it bothers her more than it usually does. Probably more than it should. Definitely more than it has any right to.

 

She finds herself unable to look away from his figure, from the concentration she can see on his face, clear as day. That strong nose, those almost permanently furrowed eyebrows, a deep wrinkle between them that she always wants to soothe with her thumb. The one she has had to stop herself from gently kissing on more than one occasion. 

 

Emily’s stomach rumbles loudly in the silence of the deserted bullpen, and just like that her decision is made. She was tired of this. Of being afraid, of denying herself things she really wanted. Things she hoped she could have. Maybe it was the exhaustion talking, but she wasn’t blind - she’d seen how Aaron would look at her sometimes. It was time to do something.

 

With that, Emily stands up from her chair and gathers her things, turns off the lamp, slowly stretching her legs. The walk up to his office is a short one, and next thing she knows, she’s knocking on his door.

 

“Come in.”


 

It was late. 

 

Aaron knew he should’ve just gone home a couple hours ago when JJ left. She’d stopped by his office to try and coax him out at a reasonable hour, but he didn’t leave. Jack was already asleep anyway, and he didn’t want to spend the evening in the company of his own thoughts.

 

He stretches his arms in front of him, his pen slipping out of his grasp and landing on the files in front of him. Bringing his hands to try and rub tiredness from his eyes, Aaron tilts his head left and right until he hears something crack in his neck. With a sigh, he looks over to the dark bullpen and sees another lonely lamp cast its light over some papers in front of a shadowed figure. A figure he knows too well.

 

Aaron knows she hasn’t left; knows JJ had tried to make her, too. He’s grateful she’s so engrossed in whatever she’s currently filling out, because there’s nothing appropriate in the way he looks at her. Nothing appropriate for a colleague, for her boss. For her friend . But how can he be just her friend if he’s in love with her? 

 

He can’t see her face, but he doesn’t need to - he knows what her face looks like when she’s concentrating. How her eyes narrow when she’s onto something, how she pulls her lower lip between her teeth and sometimes chews on her pen. There is definitely too much tension in her shoulders right now, her muscles achy and stiff after so many hours of sitting down and not moving, and he wants nothing more than to be able to stand behind her, gently flip her hair over one shoulder and massage the tiredness out. Her hair smells of cinnamon and something floral, a scent he’d learned to pick up on if she was near. Aaron imagines her skin smells the same. He tears his gaze away from her when he sees her move and stretch, going back to his papers.

 

He’s tired of this, but what other choice does he have?


 

Aaron knows it’s her when he hears a knock on his door a minute later.

 

“Come in,” he says quietly and hears how weary his voice sounds.

 

Emily appears in his doorway with a small smile on her face, her features barely lit up by his desk lamp. Aaron has to blink several times before he can see her properly. 

 

She walks in, one hand holding on to a strap of her bag, the other one hooking onto one of her belt loops with her thumb. “Hi.”

 

“Hi,” he echoes. “Everything okay?”

 

“Yeah,” she replies, shrugging nonchalantly. “I was just heading out. Wondering if you are done here because I need to talk to you before I leave.”

 

Emily doesn’t see the worry creeping onto his face as she avoids his eyes the second she’s done talking. Aaron frowns, closing the file in front of him and moving from behind his desk, coming to lean on it opposite her, his arms crossed over his chest. 

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Emily casts him a quick glance before looking away again, one of her hands coming to mess with her cuticles on the other one.

 

Aaron’s hands itch to stop her.

 

“Nothing’s wrong. Are you sure I’m not interrupting you? Because if this is not the time I-”

 

“I always have time for you.”

 

He blushes the second the words finish flying out of his mouth. Her head snaps back to look at him so fast he’s sure her neck isn’t thrilled about it. Emily’s eyebrows fly up for a second before she schools her expression. She clears her throat.

 

“I just wanted to ask if you…um,” she swallows, running her hand down her face, “ fuck , why is this so hard?”

 

The cursing makes him smile briefly, but it fades just as fast. Her uncharacteristic behavior fills him with concern and unexpected fear. Only once had he seen this usually confident, calm woman be nervous and almost scared of something she wanted to say. And that didn’t end well.

 

Aaron stands up and takes a step towards her, his hands in his pockets in case the desire to take hers becomes too strong.

 

“What is it?”

 

Emily takes a deep breath. “I’m asking if you want to get dinner. With me. Now. Like a date.”

 

Aaron is sure he heard her wrong, which is probably being reflected on his face. Before he can process and react, Emily continues.

 

“Doesn’t have to be now, actually. It’s just - we’ve been here for hours, and I haven’t seen you eat once, and I’m tired and hungry, so I thought now was as good a time as any. If you want to go on a date with me, of course.”

 

He stays silent, watching as her face becomes paler than usual, something he didn’t think was even possible. Emily searches his unreadable face for another few seconds before she nods once. 

 

“Okay,” she says, once again starting to pick at her nails. “Sorry for bothering you. Forget I said anything.”

 

Aaron hears her voice waver, and that brings his brain back online. He steps forward, finally taking her hand in his just as she’s about to turn around and walk out. She looks him in the eye for the first time since the start of the conversation, a mix of nerves, confusion and hope on her face, and he can’t stand it anymore. 

 

He tugs at her hand, his other arm banding around her back as soon as she’s in the right vicinity to do so. “Come here,” he mumbles, more a sound than actual words but that doesn’t matter when he gently presses his lips to hers.

 

Aaron kisses her so softly as if he’s afraid she’ll disappear. As if she’ll change her mind the next second and the feeling of her in his arms will become just something out of his too-good-to-be-true dream. He skates his palms up her back and neck, her muscles strong but delicate under his hands, until he reaches her face. Emily kisses him with more insistence as he cups her cheeks, opens her mouth to taste the groan he lets out on her tongue. She smiles as they part, panting against each other’s lips with their eyes closed before she gently nudges his nose with hers. 

 

Aaron opens his eyes, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he takes in her eyes, gleaming with happiness around the edges, the smudged lipstick on her lips. He dives in for a second kiss because he’ll never be able to get enough of her now that he’s had a taste, and he swallows the surprised laugh she lets out. When they separate for the second time, his hands drift back down, meeting at the small of her back as he holds her close to him, chest to chest. 

 

“So about that date,” he rasps, and Emily laughs again, dropping her face into the crook of his neck. “I’ll go on a date with you.”

 

“Good,” she mumbles against his skin, leaving a small kiss there before looking up at him again. “Now?”

 

“Whenever you want.”

 

And she knows he means it.

 

Chapter 2: Rough Diamond

Summary:

Aaron proposes, and they both face an insecurity of Emily's.

Notes:

hi! here's a little something that i wrote back in september <3 enjoy!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

She knew.

 

In the weeks and days leading up to it, she knew. He’d look at her, his eyes uncharacteristically, almost unbearably soft in a way that made her ache. No one has ever looked at her with such tenderness and reverence before. 

 

It was something she wasn’t sure she deserved.

 

They’d talked about it. Marriage. A big word, a change. A new level. 

 

The first conversation wasn’t easy. Aaron had approached the subject carefully, sitting close to her but not touching, looking as if he was prepared for her to bolt at any moment. And she wanted to. Old wounds that never healed, old scars that still remembered the pain, carrying it in themselves forever. 

 

But she’d stopped herself. Forced herself to have that conversation, to consider the type of commitment that may have had made her run before.

 

But Emily didn’t want to run from him.

 

She gets used to the thought, to the unofficial proposal settling over them both. To her surprise, it brings her a new level of comfort. Something about being able to call Aaron her husband sits right with her.

 

The second conversation happens when they buy the house. It’s easier than the first one, their faces barely inches apart on the same pillow, bodies still sweaty and curled into one another like a vine. 

 

“I really want to marry you,” Aaron whispers against her hair, and Emily finds that she wants to be his wife. She smiles into the skin of his shoulder, leaving a small kiss there. She’s sure she feels his heart jump in his chest.

 

When he officially proposes a month later, she feels happiness inside of her shine like a thousand suns. All Emily sees is his happy face, relieved tears in his eyes when her answer is a soft “yes”. Aaron steps out to call Jack, and that’s when she sees it.

 

The ring.

 

It’s beautiful. Blindingly beautiful, like the brightest star in the sky. A white gold band adorned with small diamonds over the entire length of the ring. It catches the light in a hundred different ways, and Emily finds herself unable to look away. And then she looks at her hand.

 

Work has been stressful. A long string of cases that had left the whole team exhausted in some new and twisted way. On most days Emily can control her anxiety, the urge to pick at her nails whenever something doesn’t go quite right, but sometimes she can’t. The skin around her nails is raw . Angry and red, it looks ugly next to the ring that could belong to a queen. Her torn cuticles almost mock her in their hideousness. Emily looks away, taking the ring off with a disappointed sigh.

 

“I love you too, buddy. Of course. Good night,” Aaron says as he appears in the living room again, his smile so wide he’s afraid his face might split in two. “Jack is delighted. He asked me to tell you that he loves you, and…sweetheart,” he crosses the room in seconds, coming to stand in front of her, one of his hands finding her waist. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I can’t wear it,” she says quietly after a few seconds as he gives her ribs a comforting squeeze. “The ring.” 

 

She looks down at it as she opens her fist and holds up the ring. His face falls.

 

“You don’t like it?”

 

Her head snaps up.

 

“No, Aaron, no,” Emily says, cupping his cheek. “I love it. It’s the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.”

 

“Is it the wrong size? We can go to the store tomorrow, see if they can adjust it,” he tries, his fingers coming under her chin to tilt her head up when she, once again, looks down.

 

“It’s not the size,” she shakes her head, her voice not louder than a whisper, eyes fixed on her hand with the ring in it.

 

“Then what is it? Whatever it is, I’m sure we can fix it.”

 

He’s too kind to her. Emily squeezes her eyes shut.

 

“It’s too beautiful for my hands. I will look…ridiculous.”

 

Aaron blinks once, twice. Emily looks up to see his confused frown, her words having clearly rendered him speechless for a second. 

 

“My nails are ugly, and the skin around them is all…” she drifts off, shrugging. Her gaze falls to the floor. 

 

“Baby,” Aaron implores, and the affection in his voice makes her look up. He takes her free hand in his free one and lifts it to his lips, peppering it with small, hot kisses. Emily gasps as he keeps laving her skin with his love, each press of his lips tender and reassuring. 

 

“There’s nothing ugly about you,” he states seriously. “Nothing. Never was, never could be.”

 

Emily tilts her head and sighs disbelievingly, her eyes closing. “I know it’s stupid, but i just…it feels like it’s too good for me.”

 

Aaron hums and sits down onto the couch, pulling her into his lap. He knows it’s much deeper than that. Deeper than this strange insecurity that’s appeared all of a sudden, prompted by something as small as this ring. His arms wrap around her back, securing her to him, and he kisses her forehead.

 

“Do you trust me?”

 

“More than anyone.”

 

“Then trust me, nothing could ever be too good or too beautiful for you,” he says, brushing some hair out of her face when she looks at him. “Everything about you is beautiful. This ring only adds to it.”

 

Emily closes her eyes and scoffs, shaking her head, as he fights her insecurities for her. She leans in to kiss him, trying to put everything she couldn’t say into it. When they separate, their foreheads rest together as they pant against each other’s lips.

 

“I love you,” Emily whispers.

 

“I love you too,” Aaron responds. “Can I put it back on?”

 

She nods, can’t bring herself to say anything else. When the ring is back on her finger, they both stare at it for a few moments, watching the diamonds play in the light. 

 

“Thank you,” Emily says softly. “I…”

 

“I know,” he replies and kisses her temple. “I know. Bed?”

 

She narrows her eyes at him even when a smile stretches her face. “I see how it is.”

 

Aaron raises an eyebrow. “I mean sleep, Emily. We have to be at work at 8 tomorrow.”

 

“Right,” she says, somehow moving even closer to him on his lap, her lips brushing his as she talks. “Sleep.”

 

He stands up with her in his arms, swallowing her surprised gasp. “Sleep it is.”

Notes:

thank you for reading! please leave a comment if you can/wish and I hope you enjoyed :)

Notes:

thank you for reading! please leave a comment if you can/wish and I hope you enjoyed :)