Chapter Text
The busy streets, indifferent passersby and unpleasant sounds surrounding him make him feel safe. In a way, they remind him of Tokyo, and Mayoi doesn’t feel like he misses ES too much. After all, Aira has been taking care of him all this time, and cute Hinata and charming Kohaku were also by his side.
A perfect way to end his day would be to admire Shinobu’s bright smile just before going to sleep. He’s just a video call away, but the thought of bothering him during lunch is enough to deter him from that idea. Nice, hard-working kids like Chief should focus solely on their food and should never get distracted by creeps with disgusting priorities and intrusive thoughts.
… Ah, there he goes again, getting depressed on his own.
The reflex to curl up in bed and hide beneath the sheets is nothing new. Nighttime is already here, so there’s no need for broken excuses to stay in the hotel room, and he’s really thankful for that. He can drift off to sleep without worrying anyone.
… At least, that’s what he hoped for, but Aira notices his weird behavior, and it’s a matter of seconds before he jumps out of bed at the scrutiny in his eyes and the sudden few centimeters between their faces.
Weird.
It’s usually the other way around.
“A-A-Aira-san!” he shrieks, stutters, and almost falls off his bed. Aira is too cute for his sanity! He should always keep his distance or else he will have a heart attack!
“Mayo-san, are you feeling okay?” His soft voice manages to soothe his nerves… to some extent.
He can still feel his heartbeat in his head, an uncomfortable feeling that won’t go away no matter what. There’s also a ringing in his ears that wasn’t there before. Aira can’t be the sole reason for it. Perhaps… these were signs of an upcoming anxiety attack?
Mayoi is not sure.
“You were alright up until just a while ago… Did something happen?” Aira’s words push those thoughts out of his mind.
“Mm. I noticed, too. Ya kinda zoned out and stopped talkin’ out of nowhere.” Kohaku looks at him, worry visible in his pretty amethyst eyes.
Mayoi knows Hinata would back them up and ask him about it too if he were still there with them, but he felt too exhausted to keep them company after the Award Ceremony and the dinner they all shared to celebrate Fist of Shangri-la’s victory. The older 2wink wished them a well-rested night, and went back to his shared room with Nagisa and Rei.
Mayoi doesn’t deserve them all. They are too pure, too kind. Only good intentions behind those honest words and that earnest intent to help him out.
Such good kids.
“I’m… not sure why, but I feel a bit uneasy.” Mayoi doesn’t even dare to look them in the eyes. His heartbeat finally settles in a stable rhythm, and he can breathe better, but that weird feeling won’t go away no matter how hard he tries to focus on something else. He misses… something. Or someone. He can’t pinpoint what, exactly.
Mayoi feels like a complete failure. It’s impossible to make sense of his own feelings… In the end, it’s always to no avail: he just stumbles and gets even more confused at himself.
“I… I’m feeling homesick. W-which makes no sense! Our flight is tomorrow, so if anything, that’s a relief. But… I don’t know…”
“Well, can’t really blame ya. It’s been a couple of stressful days. Makes ya miss Japan a lil’ more.” Kohaku lays down on his bed. He’s surely just as tired as them, but there’s a hint of a smile on his face. It doesn’t come as a surprise: he’s been in high spirits during the trip. It’s his first time visiting another country, after all. “We’ll be back home soon, Mayoi-han. Don’t worry too much about it.”
“Don’t you feel a bit sad, though?” Aira pouts.
“I do…” Kohaku’s smile saddens a little. “We’ve had lots of fun. But I… uh.”
“You miss your… friends?” Mayoi feels like a trespasser: he shouldn’t go and say the first thing that comes to mind without giving it some thought. He’s not that close to Kohaku!! It’s not his place to say that!!
“Yeah, I miss ‘em.” The exhausted sigh slips past his lips before he tries to retain it. He must be worn-out, after running around the city and all that parkour from yesterday. “I guess I’m a bit clingy, kokoko~”
“We’ll be back soon, Kohakucchi!” Aira’s cheerful tone is a complete blessing. “…AH!” His scream of enlightenment startles them a little. “Mayo-san, I know why you feel restless! I’m sure you’re going through something similar. You must miss Sengoku-senpai a lot!”
The little wink at the end would have killed Mayoi in an instant, but he’s stronger now. Aira’s cuteness isn’t lethal anymore.
His teasing never bothers him: in fact, Mayoi finds it nice. Aira trusts him enough to make silly jokes with him, and he never makes fun of him for his recurring obsessions and wide variety of interests. He really is a nice friend.
“I… d-do, I suppose….”
Still, admitting that he misses somebody is a hard task for him, even though he knows Kohaku and Aira are well aware of his feelings by now. His profound bond with Shinobu is well-known by the rest of his friends: Chief is one of the few people who would trust him with his life. He’s overwhelmed by the understanding and responsibility that come along with that level of closeness, but Mayoi tries hard to show Shinobu, Alkaloid, and every single one of his friends that he’s willing to put effort into his relationships. He’ll always be there for them.
And yet, that’s not… the reason behind his anxious demeanor.
There’s something else.
Maybe, just maybe, it’s someone else that plagues his mind and won’t let him think straight.
But he won’t say his name!! That way, those weird thoughts will go away on their own!!
“You will see him soon!! I’m sure he misses you too!! Have you talked to him these days? What is Sengoku-senpai up to?” Aira looks curious. Mayoi knows he loves gossip, and sometimes, he indulges him on that: he’s not too fond of those things, but that cute smile on his friend’s face when Mayoi shares some secret knowledge about the relationships between ES idols… Well, that smile makes up for everything.
“I did talk to him yesterday!” Mayoi tells them both: a happy memory that sparks joy deep within him. It completely erases that man’s silly laugh from his mind, and he feels safe once again. “He told me he was busy with work… and that he hoped I was having fun. I offered to buy him some souvenirs, but I still haven’t decided which ones?? I… I don’t know what he’d like the most…”
“Souvenirs!!!” Aira’s gasp could have easily woken up all the guests in their floor, but the soundproof walls save him from the angry calls he was bound to get for that commotion. “Ah. I’m sorry!!” He whispers, feeling ashamed at his own outburst. “It’s just… I forgot about it! We have to buy some, Mayo-san! For Hiiro, Tatsumi-san… Ahh, I should get something for Pretty Five too!”
“Aira-san, you don’t have to keep your voice down. The walls are soundproof.” Mayoi shares that piece of information with a warm smile. His pointy teeth must look weird and out of place, but he tries his best nonetheless.
“AH! THANK YOU!!!” Aira shouts, but his hands cover his mouth out of embarrassment. “Anyway, yes, souvenirs!!!”
“I could’ve sworn ya already bought them gifts, Rabu-han.”
“I did!!! But souvenirs are different!!! I have to buy them some!!!” Aira, somehow, looks fired up at that thought. Mayoi knows tomorrow’s agenda will be full of shopping sprees looking for trinkets, cups, keychains and shirts for their friends.
“They’re not?? What do ya think, Mayoi-han?”
“Um… They are almost the same? It really depends on what your friends and family likee?” Mayoi is a tiny bit confused. He’s never gotten souvenirs for anybody before. It’s no surprise he feels just as clueless as Aira.
… And Kohaku, because he is sure the little bee is doubting his own thoughts too.
“Mm. I don’t know anymore.” Mayoi feels bad about it. He shouldn’t have said anything. “But I hope Madara-han and the rest of my friends will like ‘em. It’s not gonna be possible to change ‘em for somethin’ else if they don’t… We’ll already be miles away, so they hafta appreciate ‘em.”
“What did you get them, Kohaku-saan?”
He knows better than to ask that question, but it is common courtesy!
It’s the least he can do after making him doubt himself.
“I got a plushie keychain for Madara-han. It’s a bison… kinda reminded me of him.” His confused expression at the endearing tone he used is fun to watch, yet Kohaku shakes his head and keeps going like nothing happened. “I bought Rinne-han a t-shirt with a silly design. Don’t… really know what it says?? It’s in English. I’ll show ya guys tomorrow. Ah, HiMERU-han gets a box of sweets. They look delicious… I hope he likes ‘em.”
“What about Niki-senpai?” Aira’s question is completely naive. He doesn’t know what’s going on inside Mayoi’s head.
He’s not at fault, and he knows it…
Despite it all, Mayoi doesn’t want to hear Kohaku’s answer.
“I got some—”
A soft melody interrupts him, wafting through the room while progressively raising its volume. They raise their ears towards the sound, and it takes a couple of seconds for Mayoi to recognize his own ringtone, a BGM version of Shinobu’s center song, Nekketsu☆Ryusei Ninpouchou. It’s a cherished tune for him, because he believes that melody brought them together.
But the caller ID is not his beloved Chief.
It’s…
“… !!!!!!”
Mayoi drops his phone, completely shaken to the core. How come his timing is always terrible? He's simultaneously saved and tortured at the same time, because when it comes to Niki Shiina, there's always opposite emotions fighting inside of him.
He comes and goes, and he does as he pleases. It’s so frustrating to deal with him, yet Mayoi finds him endearing.…. And, truth is, his desire to get closer to him confuses him greatly.
The call helps him realize his true feelings: all this time, Mayoi hoped the cook would take notice of his absence. He wished he would miss him, just as he did… even though he would never, ever admit it out loud.
Maybe he wasn't so wrong about that.
"Who is it?" Aira is curious about his reaction. He half-expected that to be Shinobu, Mayoi is sure of it... because anybody, including himself, would have guessed it was him.
"Uhhh.…. W-wrong number?" His pathetic excuse of an answer does not convince them at all.
"Ya didn't even answer the call, Mayoi-han." The raised eyebrow in Kohaku's face is a cute sight to see, but Mayoi can't pay attention to it when his eyes won’t stop gluing themselves to the lit screen of his phone, specifically, the caller ID that is silently mocking him.
Aira's curiosity gets the best of him when he picks up Mayoi's phone to check. Luck is not on his side, though, because the screen turns black once the ringing dies abruptly. Still, just a slight touch lets him see the name of the last person who called... and his face looks just as confused as Kohaku's.
"Niki... senpai?" the low murmur is filled to the brim with surprise.
"EEEEEK!! I'M SORRY, I'M SO SORRYYYY!!"
"When ya think about it, though, it makes sense." Kohaku nods like he knows all of his secrets, and Mayoi fights the urge to jump through the balcony. "They've been hangin’ together often lately.”
"True! It's just... Niki-senpai hasn't called you, has he, Kohakucchi?"
"Nah. But he sent me a looong message askin’ for a favor. He's... lookin’ for a specific brand of hot sauce that ya can only get here in New York. I told him I don't have time to look for it, so maybe he's tryin’ to get Mayoi-han to do it for him?"
Ah.
So that’s the true reason behind the call.
He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up.
Someone like Shiina can’t miss his presence. Can’t yearn to spend every day by his side. Can’t find any value in engaging with a piece of filth like him.
They are complete opposites.
However… Mayoi can’t help it. He was bound to feel drawn to him.
There’s part of him that admires Shiina. He’s a charismatic young man with an incredible talent for everything he sets his mind to, and a warm smile that never fails to light up the room when he walks in. An expert in the culinary arts and a diorama enthusiast just like him.
Yet… It’s likely his views differ considerably from the rest of people close to the chef. Shiina is sometimes messy, always a bit impulsive, and Mayoi can’t deny he finds him terrifying whenever his hunger clouds his judgment. But he’s also seen him at his best: he is nice enough to cook him lunch sometimes, and he’s always there to offer his help if needed—
That train of thought is getting him nowhere!!
“Hah…” His heavy sigh echoes through the room. He’s not used to dealing with an overload of emotions… and the only way to calm himself down implies speaking to the person who’s been haunting his thoughts for a couple of days.
There’s no end to his suffering, it seems.
Aira’s curious gaze speaks for him: he’s worried, yes, but mostly, he’s… confused at Mayoi’s contradictions. His senior has always been a walking-talking paradox, but that night, his behavior is all over the place. Mayoi can’t blame him: he can’t expect other people to understand him when he’s having a hard time dissecting his own feelings.
One quick look at the situation would suggest that he’s going through an unusual anxiety attack after spending days in an unfamiliar environment. Despite it all, he expected it to come eventually, even more so after the complicated evening they all had gone through. That’s why he never thought it’d suddenly happen on the last night of his trip, in the comfort of his hotel room and surrounded by his friends. A single call –that he didn’t even dare to answer– shouldn’t force him to face reality and confront the recurring thoughts he’s been trying to ignore.
“Mayo-san…” Aira’s warm hand on his shoulder brings him back to reality. “You know… you don’t have to call him back.”
“Yeah. He prolly thinks yer asleep, anyway.” Kohaku tells him with a hint of a smile. “Still… If ya want to talk to him, there’s nothin’ wrong with it. Just call him back, but… don’t even think about acceptin’ his request.” Even though Mayoi doesn’t need that warning, it’s imperative that he reminds him anyway. The little bee knows how accommodating he tends to be. “Ya can’t spoil him. We don’t have that much time tomorrow.”
“N-No, don’t worryy… I won’t… I don’t even know how to handle myself around the city…”
“Me neither! I wouldn’t even dream about making a last-minute trip around New York looking for a rare bottle of hot sauce!” Aira laughs at that silly thought. “Unless…”
“Rabu-han!” Kohaku wants to sound irritated, but his smile betrays him. “We really don’t have time!”
“I knooow.” Aira’s pout is a gift sent from the heavens. “It’s just… Mayo-san looks really troubled by it.”
“No, Aira-san, I’m fine!” A white lie won’t hurt anyone… he hopes. “W-we don’t even know if he’s going to ask me for t-the… hot sauce… So maybe I should try and see what he wants first. I d-don’t want to be rude to him for no reason…”
“So you DO want to talk to him?” Aira quirks an eyebrow, even more confused now. “Wow… I’m— I’m completely lost now.”
“Me too.”
“That… makes three of us.” This time, Mayoi is the one to let out a heavy sigh.
He’s been going round in circles for the past 20 minutes to no avail.
His indecisiveness is, once again, only causing trouble for the people who care for him. Why do Kohaku and Aira bother to reason with him? His friends are better off ignoring the situation and getting ready for the next day. It’s getting late, and they deserve a well-rested night before their long flight back home tomorrow evening.
“I’m really sorryyy… I shouldn’t keep you up any longer. L-Let’s just go to sleep, okay?” His timid suggestion sounds odd and filled with doubt. And it’s true: regret will eat him alive later on, but his priorities are in the right place… or so he thinks. “I-I’ll handle this on my own. Um… I think I’ll send him a text and ask hi—”
“No!!!” Pure irritation coats Aira’s features. It’s an expression he usually makes when Hiiro is being himself –which is… most of the time—, but he has never reacted that way towards Mayoi before.
That thought is enough for him to wish to be sent to the gallows.
Mayoi makes a startled sound and hides behind his arms, shielding his face from his friend’s anger. There’s no one else to blame but himself: an inconsiderate piece of trash like him was bound to anger Aira, one of the kindest people he’s ever met. He should’ve stopped talking eons ago. It’s no wonder the blond got fed up with his sloppy attitude and his lack of decision. He dragged him to America, and now he won’t even let him sleep. He really is the worst friend someone could possibly have.
“Sorry, Mayo-san. I shouldn’t have shouted!! I’m just… Ugh!!!” He screams into the palms of his hands, trying to muffle the sounds coming out of his mouth. “Sometimes you can be sooo frustrating!!!”
After a brief pause, Aira raises his head again, looking him in the eye with a softer gaze.
“I know you very well: you are a kind person. I’m sure you want to help Niki-senpai. But I think there’s something else going on. Something that you are not sharing with us… and I get it, it’s hard to open up to others!! Even more so for you!!! But we can’t help you if you don’t talk to us.Truth is… you are not doing this out of politeness, are you?”
His actions are methodical and precise: in one swift motion, Mayoi hides under the covers, safe in the warm embrace of his bed.
It’s easier for him to tell them the truth that way.
“I’m not.” The confession shouldn’t have come as a surprise to anybody, yet Aira’s gasp is endearing to hear. “I… I want t-to… talk to Shiina-san… But it’s hard for me to deal with him, so I can’t reconcile to that thought…” It only takes a couple of seconds for him to realize he overshared… the shriek he lets out makes them jump a little out of surprise. “AHHH! I’m sorry for troubling you!! I-I’m sure I don’t make any sense!! I should just diee!!!”
“You don’t have to apologize, Mayoi-han.” Peeking out of his hideout, Mayoi glances at the little bee and finds a bright smile on his face.
“Aw~ That’s so lovely, Mayo-san~” Aira’s eyes sparkle with emotion. “Opposites attract! It’s meant to be!”
“IHHHH!! N-no, no, no, no. I-It’s not like that!!!” The blush spreads to his ears. With each passing second, jumping through the balcony is getting more and more appealing to him. “I… Um… I want to be his friend.”
“Yer already friends if he calls ya at ungodly hours.” Kohaku sounds like he talks from his own experience.
“M-maybe… uh… he… doesn’t know it’s really late… in New York.”
“Huh…” He looks deep in thought. “Maybe yer right. Niki-han IS an idiot. But ya won’t know unless ya call him. I’m positive he already thinks of ya as his friend.”
“We’ll be here for you, Mayo-san, so don’t worry!”
Aira’s presence takes him by surprise when he feels him right by his bed. Out of respect and basic decency, Mayoi moves under the covers until he sits up, showing himself once again. The first thing he notices is the blond’s grin: there’s a high chance Aira is ecstatic about the outcome of that fated call after his friend’s confession. Gossip and happy endings fuel him… and though Mayoi firmly believes he’ll eventually get disappointed, he doesn’t want to ruin his mood, so he just smiles back.
“Good luck!” Aira hurries to give him back his phone with a wink. “We’ll be rooting for you!!!” He says, and walks back to his own bed.
“Same here. Ya can do it. But don’t spoil him, okay? No last-minute hot sauce trip.” Kohaku looks dead serious about that thought, but he laughs a little in the end.
“G-got it. No last-minute hot sauce trip.”
He has already lost count of how many times he has sighed through the day, but once more won’t hurt anybody.
Though deep in his heart, he knows this is fated to be a great disaster, Mayoi is not afraid to press the digits of Niki’s number in his phone to call him back. He wants to try, at least: he owes it to his friends, and the time they spent trying to convince him to do it… and most of all, he owes it to himself.
Why? He still doesn’t get it, but he’s sure it’ll come to him eventually.