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It was a cold day on Dragonspine, something that wouldn’t be out of the ordinary if not for the current time of the year meaning that temperatures across Mondstadt as a whole were much lower than usual.
Because of this even fewer people were willing to venture up into the mountain, with there currently being only a single person that could be found there.
Someone who is trying their best to distract themselves so that they keep their mind from wandering.
Albedo was currently at the table in his old mountain lab, the alchemist working on an experiment in front of him with his back bent so that he could get a closer look.
Soon realising that he needed another flask, the blonde went to straighten his back, letting out a small sigh at the feeling of pain that ran through him.
Albedo looked around for a few seconds before his gaze landed on a dusty flask that was sitting by itself near the end of the table, his right hand reaching over to grab it soon after.
As he started to lift it, a cloud of dust began to rise, causing him to start coughing, the male fanning his free hand to try and get rid of the cloud.
As he did so Albedo started to think about his surroundings, the flask wasn’t the only dusty thing, the lab he was in had a pretty sizeable amount scattered throughout it, a consequence of it having been a few years since he had used it at that point.
‘It’s not the most suitable of working conditions, but at least I can be alone up here, at least I don’t need to think up here.’
But despite how much he tried, his thoughts started to slowly betray him as Albedo began to think back on the last few days.
He had come up to Dragonspine to do experiments, that was true, but it wasn’t the main reason why he was there, his experiments ultimately being nothing more than the means to an end.
This is because while he’s doing them he doesn’t need to think. Because while he’s isolating himself he can pretend that everything is fine.
‘But it’s not fine though is it, not really.’ Albedo thought bitterly. ‘Nothing has felt fine ever since I saw it.’
Albedo’s mind began to wander, the alchemist remembering back to earlier that week.
The morning had started the same way that it always did, him and Diluc waking up, limbs tangled in a loving embrace, but unfortunately, they both had a lot they needed to do so they weren’t able to enjoy the closeness for as long as they would have liked.
After they had both got up they started to go through their usual routines of getting ready, eventually leading to Albedo gently taking a brush to Diluc’s hair to straighten it out before the other tied it up.
The experience was always one that they both found to be relaxing, but Albedo soon found himself pausing, his breath hitching as he noticed something concerning.
Amongst Diluc’s vibrant red locks was a single grey hair, the sight of which caused Albedo’s heart to plummet.
Albedo remembered how not long after he’d paused, Diluc had asked him if something was wrong before he told him that he was fine, the blonde having tried his best at the time to not show the turmoil he was starting to feel.
He had then gone on to spend the rest of the day lost in thought before evening came about, Albedo telling the taller man that he would be spending some time doing experiments in Dragonspine while they were both having dinner.
Eventually leading to him being where he is now, flask in hand as he’s unable to think about anything but the hair.
He knows what it means. How could he not? And it scares him, more than anything ever has before.
Because that single strand of hair, it’s a sign, a terrible, awful, sign and a reminder that he will inevitably outlive the man that he loves.
A reminder that their days together are fleeting, a reminder that he will eventually end up alone, that Diluc could slowly become nothing more than a hazy memory no matter how much he would try to remember him.
‘But.’ Albedo thought, a feeling of desperation overcoming him. ‘But maybe if he was to pluck the hair I could forget about it, then I could pretend that things are fine.’
He knows it’s a silly idea, he really does, but logical thinking wasn’t exactly something he was able to do at the moment.
Besides, Diluc had never been a particularly vain person, even when more of his hair started to grey he would probably just let it happen instead of plucking or dying them.
‘And even if he did.’ Albedo let out a defeated sigh and hung his head, his experiment completely forgotten about. ‘What about once his skin starts to wrinkle or his movements begin to get slower and his body gets frailer as the years go on, there isn’t much that can be done to hide that.’
Albedo’s thoughts quickly became more painful as his mind started to become full of the worst possibilities.
What if Diluc’s body ended up getting incredibly frail and he became like a shadow of his former self during his final years, the possibility broke Albedo’s heart.
Seeing the strong, amazing man he had fallen in love with like that, he knew it would be too much for him to handle.
Albedo’s breathing started to become heavy as he began to grip the flask in his hand tighter and tighter, this line of thinking overwhelming him.
But it wouldn’t just be his body that could become frail though, what if his mind started to become affected by his increasing age?
*Crack*
What if Diluc started to forget stuff that he had always been able to remember, like how his favourite drinks were made?
*Crack*
What if it got worse and he even started to forget about things he had done time and time again like their morning routine?
*Crack*
What if he also started to have trouble remembering all of the good times that he had shared with the people he loved?
*Crack*
What if Diluc started to forget those very people that he cared about, like Adelinde, Klee or Kaeya?
*Crack*
What if he started to forget about him…
*Shatter*
The sound of something breaking drew Albedo out of his thoughts, the alchemist breathing heavily as he started to look around.
Just before he did this he had to blink a few times, his vision blurry as he started to feel the wet sensation of tears slowly rolling down his cheeks.
For a moment during his search, he was confused before he realised that his right hand felt emptier than it should be.
Lifting his hand he noticed that the flask that he had been holding was nowhere in sight before he realised just how tightly he had been clenching it.
Loosening his grip, he opened his hand from the fist he had formed and noticed multiple shards of glass were scattered across the palm of his glove, the material thankfully stopping him from getting cut.
The sight caused the male to close his eyes before planting both of his hands on the table he was in front of, the blonde trying to do his best to ground his racing thoughts.
After a few minutes of this, he still didn’t feel calm, but he felt like he had done as much as he could for now.
Besides, he needed to clean up the mess, at this point, it would only serve as another reminder of the pain he would face in the future.
Letting out a shaky breath, Albedo lifted his hands before he started to clean the glass off of his gloves, the blonde berating himself for allowing his thoughts to veer into such an unpleasant place.
Once he was done, the alchemist began to scrub at his cheeks with his arms, trying to get rid of the tears that were still there before his gaze landed on his previously forgotten experiment.
He still had so much he needed to do, hopefully, it would help to distract him, it was something that he desperately wanted to happen.
Because he most definitely didn’t want to think about the future, it was something he just wasn’t ready for.
‘And I don’t think I ever will be.’
