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Chapter Text

Every step sends an unbearable agony shooting throughout his entire body. He clutches desperately at the wound, trying to put as much pressure on it as he can with his rapidly depleting strength, but he can still see the warm blood leaking through his fingers. He struggles to draw in breath, feeling likes he’s suffocating as he pushes on, knowing that if he stops or hesitates for even a second, that he will be unable to continue. And he knows he must. As much as it pains him – both physically and mentally – he knows he has no choice. So, as the world falls apart around him, he presses on, clinging desperately to the last shreds of hope he has left.

He can feel Casey pressed tightly against his side, trembling as he carries them both forward, and through the pain, Leo takes a second to feel so incredibly proud of his student.

“I’ve got you, Sensei.”

Casey says, trying to be reassuring but Leo can hear the slight tremble in his voice as he does so. He readjusts his hold, clutching Leo’s hand as tight as he can.

“Stay with me.”

Casey doesn’t quite beg, both of them know how bleak their situation is, but neither of them wants to lose the other.

He chuckles, trying to ease some of Casey’s worry, but it falls flat when a sharp stab of pain shoots through his side and he winces in response, squeezing his eyes shut through the pain. When it subsides for a moment, he opens an eye and tries to smile at his student once more.

“You’re a life saver, Casey Jones.”

Casey flips open his mask and gives him a watery smile in return. “I learned from the best.” He says, sounding so utterly sincere, that it takes him by surprise for a second. “Come on. We’re almost there.”

They continue on in silence after that, both too tired and focused to keep up a conversation. Leo struggles to keep going, knowing and hating that he’s relying more and more on Casey to keep upright. His thoughts are slow and heavy, slipping through his grasp like smoke as he tries to reach for them. The pain is becoming overwhelming.

The ground shakes, bringing him a brief moment of clarity, as an explosion goes off beside him. He trips, legs too weak to hold him as the earth moves beneath him, but Casey pulls him back up in one swift movement and the two continue their desperate sprint forward. He’s panting even harder now, breath coming out in short wheezing gasps that only cause more pain. Once more he wishes that he could stop - to rest or give up he doesn’t know – but the warmth of the body beside him keeps him going.

He opens an eye again; unaware he had even closed it again in the first place and glances around. They’re at the top of an incline now, giving him a clear perspective of the chaos that surrounds him. No matter how many times he lays eyes on the world he now lives in, it never fails to terrify him. A broken symbol of liberty reaches up through the ground, its dilapidated state a sombre reminder of just what been had lost. Buildings crumbling and long since destroyed. The myriad of lives that once called them home are now either long gone or stuck fighting a futile battle. Amidst the smoke and the rubble, New York is not even a shadow of what it once was.

It is hell.

Complete and utter hell.

He drops to his knees. He is exhausted, hurting, and losing more and more blood every second. He knows that he cannot continue. Even Casey is unable to keep him upright anymore.

As he hears the beasts behind him, growling and snapping in anticipation of finally catching their pray, he can only think of his student.

One more person I’ve let down, he thinks, bitter and full of hatred towards himself. He braces for death, hugging Casey as tight as he can as he waits for the inevitable.

But there’s a crash behind him, and a voice breaks through the haze of his mind. He turns, facing his rescuer, and watches with joy as his brother appears in a flash of golden chains.

He has never felt more relieved.

“Impeccable timing, little brother.” He says, unable to keep the grin off his face. “Very dramatic.”

His once energetic brother says nothing in response, more focused on defeating the enemies before them. There’s a brief moment where Leo feels grief at the loss of who his brother used to be, but his focus quickly shifts as Casey places him as gently as he can in a slightly – very slightly – safer location, and begins checking him over.

By now the coherency is quickly leaving him again. With the immediate distractions gone, there is nothing keeping him from focusing on the pain and on how weak he really feels. Everything seems to fade out around him. He vaguely hears Casey talking but cannot concentrate enough to understand the words. Through swimming vision, he glances down at the blood coating his hand and then up at the destruction that surrounds him.

He knows what this means.

He cannot fight anymore. He refuses to make Casey fight anymore. And he knows – despite how powerful he is – that his brother cannot survive fighting by himself. Nor does he want to make his brother fight all alone.

“That’s it. The resistance failed. The Krang won.”

He thinks of all that’s been lost, broken, and torn apart.

All because of one stupid, pathetic mistake.

“But it isn’t over. We’ve still got a ninjas greatest weapon... hope.”

He turns to look at his brother.

“That and a badass mystic warrior.”

He hates that they have reached this point. That he has to say his next words. He pauses, hesitant, and the smile drops from his face.

“Mikey, we need a time gateway.”

Mikey’s eyes widen and Leo hopes, against everything, that his brother will refuse. But Mikey steels his expression and says:

“It’ll take everything I have.”

“I know,” he chokes on the words feeling horrified but desperate. “But this is our last chance.”

He takes a deep breath and faces the consequences that his choices have made.

“It’s our only chance.”

Mikey hesitates for a brief second and then nods in determination. He floats off, rolling up his non existent sleeves as he goes to face his death.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Casey asks from behind him. “Where’s he going?”

Leo tears his gaze away from Mikey to face his student, holding a hand up to silence him.

“Casey, listen.”

There’s a flash of gold in the corner of his eyes and it takes everything he has to stay focused on Casey and not turn and look.

“The Krang first came to our planet through a mystic doorway.”

He grabs the old and warn photo from his bag, glancing wistfully at it one last time, before he turns it over and begins drawing.

“The key that opened the doorway looked like this.”

He draws the key and hands it to Casey, who grabs it, looking confused as he does so.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because Mikey’s about to send you back in time to the day the key was stolen.”

Casey’s eyes widen in shock and he shakes his head.

“Wait, he’s gonna what?”

“The people who stole that key opened the doorway for the Krang. You have to find it before that happens. Find the key, stop the Krang.”

“But, Sensei-” Casey tries to say but he interrupts, knowing that they don’t have much time.

“Say it!” He demands, pressing his hand into Casey’s shoulder, desperate to know if he’s been understood.

Casey pauses, looking conflicted but dutifully repeats him.

“Find the key, stop the Krang.”

Leo smiles, proud, and pats Casey’s shoulder. Tears fill his student’s eyes as he reaches up to grab the hand on his shoulder. Leo is sure that the grip would be painful if he could feel it.

“I don’t want to lose you.” He cries.

“Casey, it’s not about me.” Leo responds, trying to put on a brave face. Of course, he knows that he cannot be selfish and he knows that his words come across sounding harsh, but this is a point that he has to make. It is a lesson that he had learned the hard way.

Being selfish is what caused all this and he’ll be damned if he lets it prevent a chance at saving everything.

Then suddenly, a red light appears above them and he turns and faces the giants that tower over them, cursing himself that he did not notice them approaching.

He knows that their time is up.

Wincing, he leans on his sword and pushes himself up, blocking out the pain as best he can as he swings his sword around, ready to attack. His vision wavers dangerously and he knows that he will not be able to fight for long. Another light appears behind them. They are completely surrounded now.

“Mikey.”

He glances over at his brother, hating that he needs to hurry him up. Mikey says nothing, but Leo watches as his little brother’s arms begin to crack at a faster speed, unable to do anything.

Red and purple masks brush against his hand and he tightens his grip on his sword, whispering apologies in his head to the long and soon to be dead. He stares unwaveringly at Mikey. At his wonderful and brave little brother.

He hears Casey yelling from beside him, desperate and confused as he finally realises the truth of what’s about to happen.

Mikey turns back to face them, a soft look on his face and Leo feels his heart sink.

This is it.

Mikey winks and Leo looks his brother in the eyes for what he knows will be the last time. And then, finally, Mikey turns round, and in one last brilliant flash of gold, his little brother – and only brother left – vanishes into sparks of sunlight.

And then Leo is the last brother standing.

He wants to cry and scream and break down into an incoherent mess. He’s suffered loss before - suffered it many, many times - but it still hurts just as much as the first. He wants to give up and mourn but he knows he doesn’t have time.

Even if he knows he will not have time later.

So, he takes a second to clear his thoughts, closing his eyes and watching the spots of sunlight fade. He wills back the tears, knowing that he needs to be strong for just a little bit longer. He opens his eyes, feeling sad yet proud, takes a deep breath, and continues on.

He puts a hand around Casey’s shoulder, calling his students name as he does so.

“When you’re done saving the world, do me a favour.” He smiles, tightens his grip, and shifts his stance.

“Grab a slice!”

He throws Casey towards the portal, takes one last look at the boy he could almost call his son, and then turns around to face his destiny.

To join his brothers once again.

He puts up as much of a fight as he can whilst week and tired. He kicks, punches, and slices enemy after enemy.

And then it is over.

In one agonising yet peaceful moment he finally lets himself rest.

As his body fades, and as he relishes in the weightless bliss of unconsciousness, he is oblivious to the specks of sunlight that dance around him.

A familiar voice whispers amongst the wind.

“I’m sorry.”

And then he is falling.

He suddenly feels heavy and wrong, as if he is being shoved into something that he does not fit into.

He is screaming.

A voice, so familiar yet different, is screaming in tandem with him.

There is a fear that is not his own, that shoves at him and fights against him. Desperate, panicked, and pained but unable to do much.

There is a cacophony of noise within his head. Everything is loud and quiet at the same time.

He cannot think or feel. He is numb and his thoughts are jumbled and incoherent. He does not know who he is or where he is. Only wishes desperately that all this will end.

And then every thing tilts.

Something shifts.

And all is still.

He lands with a hard thump onto solid ground.

The world is quiet for a brief moment. He lays where he landed, panting once more. And then the world slowly reappears with a harsh ringing in his ears.

There is someone talking, lifting him off the ground and trying to get his attention. But his vision is still blurry and hearing still ringing. He blinks, trying to clear his vision and can just about make out a large blob of red and green.

Wait.

Red and green?

There’s stinging in his eyes and he reaches up a hand to rub desperately at them. He needs to clear his vision. The voices are sounding slightly more hysteric now but his eyes are finally starting to clear and the shape of his oldest brother finally starts to take shape.

“I made it.” He sobs. “You’re all here.”

He can now see his other two brothers, both hovering over him with worried faces.

I’m in heaven, he thinks, happy for first time in years.

But there’s a thought in the back of his mind that feels like him, yet isn’t.

This is hell, it whispers, sounding like it can barely talk. Get out. Get out. Get out.

He shoves the thoughts back, confused and scared, and begins to really take in the world around him.

The ground is solid beneath his hands. His body hurts and something feels wrong. Raph is shaking him now, and every jerky movement hurts. He shoves away from his brother, despite wanting nothing more than to be enveloped within his embrace, and stumbles away.

He’s at the top of a bridge, he realises, a very familiar bridge. There are several pizza boxes discarded around him.

He’s beginning to come to a realisation.

There’s a shrill beeping coming from behind him, snapping him abruptly out of his spiralling thoughts.

“Huh? What is all that ra- oh that’s me.” He hears Donnie say.

Leo’s heart sinks and dread fills him.

This can’t be...

He can’t have...

And then, suddenly, he is aware once more of the voice trapped within his head.

Please, it begs, let me out.

Images of golden sunlight fill his thoughts, and he remembers a soft voice.

Oh.

Oh no.

Maybe this is hell, he thinks, as the voice of his younger self cries out fearfully in the back of his mind.

Chapter Text

“Easy does it, Leo.”

He mutters to himself, balancing precariously on the edge of the precipice. The wind blows around him, threatening to throw him off his balance, but he continues on, arms thrown out to help, and confident in his abilities.

“You’ve got this.”

Place one foot in front of the other. He has this, he knows he does.

“Concentrate.”

He wobbles slightly.

“The whole world is counting on you...”

He marches onwards.

“... To break the pizza box stack record!”

He’s completely and utterly filled with confidence at this point. And if he’s just bragging at this now then who cares. Certainly not him.

“One hundred and twenty-five boxes. They say it couldn’t be done, but looks who’s doing it, moi.”

He hears the distinctive sound of Donnie’s jetpack hovering over him.

“You know that’s Spanish for Leo.”

Donnie appears in his peripheral vision, arms crossed, and looking way too self confident than what Leo is happy with.

“Go ahead, my non-lingual friend, count your unhatched fowl.”

Leo can hear his brother continue to ramble out sciency stuff in the background, but he’s long since perfected his ability to tune out Donnie’s scientific nonsense.

Leo can feel the vibrations as Mikey lands with a thud on the cable behind him.

“According to my calculations,” Mikey says “as long as you believe in yourself, you can do anything!”

Well, nice to know at least one of his brothers has faith in him.

“Thanks, little brother. No one believes in himself more than me.”

And its true. He’s very self confident in his abilities, even if he does doubt himself sometimes... or often. But anyway, he shakes his head, he’s confident he can do this. If he can balance the entire contents of a fridge on his chin –The Incident notwithstanding – then he can balance a few pizza boxes on his head. He starts chanting his name, with Mikey joining in a few seconds later.

He’s almost there. The pizza boxes start swaying precariously and he sways a bit to try and prevent them from falling. He’s so close, he can’t fail now.

His foot touches solid ground. He takes a couple extra steps, almost tripping in the process and swings his arms around as he regains his balance. He catches himself, both feet planted firmly on the ground, and celebrates. He’s done it.

He jumps, sending the pizza boxes flying, and yelling with joy. He can’t believe it. He actually did it.

“Yeah!” He shouts as lands on his knees and flings his arms up in celebration. “I am Leo!”

Mikey is cheering and, of course, Donnie is probably sulking, having gone suspiciously quiet.

“There you are.”

And there’s Raph, looking as heroic as ever, arms on his hips and mask tails swaying in the wind. “I’ve been looking all over for you guys.”

He’s been caught skipping training again. Leo tries not to let his older brother’s appearance dampen his spirit but he knows a lecture is now rapidly approaching.

So, Leo does what he does best and tries to distract Raph.

“Raph, guess who just broke the record?”

It almost works for a second, Raph eagerly about to ask how many boxes he had carried before he shakes his head and launches straight into his lecture.

Well, that didn’t work. Time to use Donnie as a distraction.

He had won their competition after all. Time to reap the rewards.

He revels in every moment of Donnie’s monotonous forced congratulations. Unable to keep the smug grin off his face.

He continues to goof around, drawing his brothers into his celebration – no matter how unenthusiastically Donnie is doing it – and hopes Raph gets drawn in.

It doesn’t work.

Raph starts lecturing again.

“Leo, we have work to do, and you dragged them out here for this?”

“Training, record-breaking. The choice was clear.” He replies, handing Mikey a slice of pizza and purposely shoving another into Donnie’s face.  

Raph sighs, sounding disappointed. “Dang it, Leo. Everything’s not about you. When are you gonna grow up and start acting like a hero?”

He raises up a slice of pizza, fully prepared to start teasing Raph about the hero thing, when something causes him to choke on his words. There’s a buzzing in the back on his mind that’s growing louder and louder each second, until he can hear nothing else. He’s trembling now, he realises faintly, and the slice of pizza has been dropped to the floor. There’s a brief moment of coherency where he thinks it’s a shame that he’s dropped it, before he is hit with overwhelming pain.

And suddenly he feels like he’s been launched off a cliff. He’s tumbling, unable to tell which way is up and down. He tries to scream but it get stuck in his throat. He flails around, feeling panicked and afraid. Some part of him is telling him to fight, and so he does. He kicks and punches, hitting nothing but air. He finally manages to make a noise, and it is loud and desperate and echoing.

And then something grabs him, and he can no longer move.

He can see flashes of orange and blue surrounding him, and he scrunches his eyes closed, trying to stop the nausea that he’s feeling.

Abruptly it all stills.

The world goes quiet.

Leo comes back to awareness with a jolt.

He still feels constricted. He cannot feel the ground beneath his hands or the wind that should be brushing his skin. He blinks, yet doesn’t. He’s being picked up now, and the sensation makes him panic, but his body does not respond.

What?

He tries to struggle as his body lies limp within someone’s arms. He tries to yell again but his mouth does not open.

He is trapped.

Completely and utterly trapped.

He’s in his body, yet he’s curled up in some tiny corner of his mind. Trapped and helpless, unable to move an inch.

And then, to his absolute horror, his body moves without him.

Raph likes to think that he can cope well under pressure. That’s he’s someone who his brothers can rely on when things go wrong. But, as he watches Leo go completely limp and still, he doesn’t know what to do.

He doesn’t know what happened. One second everything is normal. He’s annoyed at his brother, giving him a lecture that he knows will go ignored, and the next Leo is trembling. Pizza slice falling from his hands and face going scarily blank. Then, the trembling stops as abruptly as it started and Leo goes completely still, as if someone had put him on pause.

The three remaining brothers just stare for a second, all equally taken by surprise, and unsure what to do.

“Leo?” Raph questions cautiously, taking a hesitant step forward. Leo doesn’t respond. “Are you purposely ignoring me now?”

Silence answers him again.

He’s starting to get worried now. He takes another step forward and, hesitating once more, pokes his brother in the side. He doesn’t react.

“um.” He says, turning to look at Donnie and Mikey.

“wow, he’s really committed to ignoring you!” Mikey exclaims, but there’s an underlining tremble in his voice that exposes his worry.

Leo hasn’t even blinked.

“Donnie?” Raph asks, turning to the only one with some kind of medical knowledge now that Leo’s out of action. Donnie looks uncertain, reaching out a hand to grasp Leo’s wrist.

“His pulse is normal.” He says, waving a hand in front of Leo’s face. When that does nothing, he pinches Leo’s wrist, frowning when he doesn’t even flinch. “He’s just not reacting at all.” He turns back to look at Raph, looking genuinely scared. “I don’t know what to do.”

Then Leo makes a noise. It’s small and pained and it breaks Ralph’s heart. He goes to reach out to his brother, to provide what comfort he can, when Leo jolts, begins trembling once more, and screams.

Donnie snaps his hand back from Leo’s wrist, as if he’s been burnt, looking panicked and afraid. The three turtles are frozen, horrified, unaware of what to do as they watch Leo scream.

And then, as abruptly as it started, it ends. Leo goes quiet and still, falling forward and catching himself on his hands and knees. He blinks.

Raph has never felt so relieved to see someone blink before.

“Leo?” He questions, getting worried again when Leo doesn’t move. He picks Leo up, calling his name as he tries to get his brother to look at him. To do something other than stare vacantly into nothing.

It takes a moment – a terrifying moment – but Leo finally seems to come back to himself, blinking rapidly and squinting at Raph. And then Leo’s eyes are watering and, for seems like the hundredth time, Raph doesn’t know what to do. His brother doesn’t quite cry but his eyes water as he rubs fruitlessly and almost desperately at them.

“I made it.” His brother cries. “You’re all here.”

What?

The relief Raph had been feeling is rapidly disappearing, being replaced with worry once again.

“Leo, what are you taking about?”

Behind him Donnie and Mikey are trying to ask questions as well. Raph is pretty sure that Mikey is trying to Dr. Delicate Touch the situation. Leo is not responding again and Raph reaches his limit. In his panic he starts shaking his brother, desperate to get him to respond.

“Raph what are you doing!?”

“This is not the correct solution!”

Raph can hear Donnie and Mikey yelling beside him, grabbing his arms and trying to get him to stop. But Raph has always been stronger than the two and so easily overpowers them. But Leo is reacting more now, seemingly coming back to himself, and although it results in Leo pushing away from him, at least he’s moving now.

“Wow, that actually worked.” Donnie says.

Raph sighs at Donnie’s response and starts to move over to Leo when a shrill beeping pierces through the air.

“Huh, what’s all that ra- oh that’s me.”

Donnie brings his wrist up to his face, tapping away at the screen.

“Looks like we have a 317-39.4 in progress!”

Raph has no clue what that means.

“Oh, come on!” Donnie grumbles, crossing his arms and giving them a disappointed look. “Has nobody read Donnie’s Big Book of Bad Guy Codes? Nobody?”

Raph definitely hasn’t but he won’t admit it out loud.

“It means there’s been a robbery.” Says the quiet voice of Leo.

Raph’s head snaps over towards Leo, not expecting a response. Leo is still in the same position he was in before they had been interrupted by Donnie’s alarm. There’s a haunted look on his face and Raph worries that Leo isn’t quite as recovered as Raph thought he was.

Leo gets to his feet, stumbling as he does so, and Raph runs to help him so he won’t fall. Leo clings on to him for a moment, hands digging into his arm almost painfully, before he stumbles away, pulling a katana from its sheath as he does.

“Lets go.” He says, sounding serious and determined in a way that Leo usually isn’t.

“Wait, Leo, are you sure you’re okay to do this?” He asks, worried for Leo once more. “You blacked out on us for a moment there. And you sounded like you were in pain.”

“I’m fine.” Leo dismisses.

“Leo...”

“Just- I’m fine, Raph, we don’t have time for this.”

Hesitating for a brief second, Leo draws a portal in the air and steps through it, leaving his dumbfounded brothers behind.

The three remaining brothers share a look before following after Leo. As confused as they are, and as much as they want Leo to rest, they know how stubborn he can be. Whatever is going on, they’ll be there for their brother, to make sure he gets out in one piece. They can deal with the fallout later.

But as Raph steps through the portal, there’s only one thought that crosses clearly within his mind; since pushing away from him, Leo hadn’t looked at any of them at all.

So maybe rushing off towards danger is not a good idea, especially when he’s still feeling a bit confused and disorientated, but Leo is feeling desperate.

As soon as he had realised where he is and the opportunity he now has, Leo knew he couldn’t hesitate. No matter if this is real or some dying hallucination (or actually some form of hell), Leo is going to make sure to do his best to rectify his mistakes.

And it starts with getting that key.

He knows, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he’s not thinking straight. Years of instincts built through surviving and leading others through an apocalypse are the only thing that gets him to wait long enough for his brothers to catch up with him. And isn’t that a weird thought for him that he refuses to think too hard on.

His brothers are back. They’re alive and healthy and Leo is going to do everything in his power to keep them that way.

“How did you even know where to go?” Donnie asks as he steps through the portal.

“Good guess.” Leo shrugs, not wanting to get into his whole mess of a situation before they’ve got the key sorted out. He can tell Donnie is giving him a look from behind him but absolutely refuses to turn around and look at him.

He cannot afford to break down yet.

There’s a loud crash in the distance as a van goes careening down the road. Leo watches it go for a second, desperate to chase after it, but managing to control himself. He’s not that turtle anymore. He won’t let his reckless actions be the reason that people get hurt again.

There’s a flash of hurt in the back of his mind but Leo pushes it back. Pushes him back.

He can freak out about that later as well.

He takes off into a sprint, his brothers following close behind him.

“There they are! Okay, here’s the plan: Donnie, Mikey, Maneuver 12.” Raph commands, and this time Leo stays back and let’s the two do their jobs.

With a cry of affirmation, Donnie swings his weapon forward, allowing Mikey to wrap his chains around it. In one smooth motion Mikey is flung forward in a wheel of flames and slices the van in two.

It almost makes Leo cry again, seeing those two fight together once more, but he blinks back the tears knowing he can’t afford to lose concentration.

“Leo!” Raph calls, gesturing for a portal. Leo nods, despite knowing Raph can’t see him, summoning a portal, and watching as Raph leaps into it, summoning a haze of red light as he does. Knowing where Donnie is about to divert the now open-top van, Leo drops Raph exactly where he needs to be.

The glowing copy of his brother lands with a loud crash onto the fleeing car, sending both it an its occupants flying. They key flung along with them.

Leo wants nothing more than to go chasing after it but he knows how that could end. So he stays, shifting from foot to foot restlessly, as he desperately tries to restrain himself.

He watches with bated breath as Raph spots the key. “I got it!” Raph cries, leaping after the object that changes the world.

And Leo stays exactly where he is.

Raph grabs the key, lands safely, and let’s his ninpo fade. The key is still safe within his grasp.

Leo almost falls to his knees in relief. Its done, its over.

But after so many years, Leo had forgotten one thing.

The Foot Clan.

With a loud roar, Raph is being tackled, key flying from his hand as the Foot Brute slams into him.

Leo watches as the key is picked up by the Foot Lieutenant.

“I’ll be taking this.”

No.

No this can’t be happening.

The Foot Lieutenant laughs.

And Leo sees red.

He isn’t aware of what happens next. One moment Leo is on the roof, the next he is on the ground, standing on top of the of the Foot Lieutenant, sword digging into his neck, and key held safely within his own hand.

“Wait hold on.” The Lieutenant rasps, eyes wide in fear. “Think about what you’re doing.”

“I am.” Leo snarls, overwhelmed with anger in the face of the person who had caused the end of the world.

Who had caused his brothers deaths.

Leo pushes his sword further into his neck, this time drawing blood.

His hand is trembling now and, despite how hard he tries, he can no longer move it.

He is suddenly aware of the voice pleading quietly in the back of his mind.

Please, he begs, I don’t want to kill anyone.

“Its fine. He won’t be alive for much longer anyway.”

I don’t want to kill anyone.

His younger self repeats. Quiet voice sounding pained and full of fear.

Please.

Leo hesitates. And then he is being tackled, the surprise making him drop the key. He bounces a couple of times, landing with the wind knocked out of him several feet away from where he had been standing.

He can only watch as the Foot Soldiers grab the key and leave as quickly as they can.

He failed.

He had it and he still failed.

His past self has gone quiet within the back of his mind and Leo can’t even feel his presence anymore.

And as he lies there on the floor, scared and winded, the reality of his situation begins to dawn on him.

He finally looks his brothers in the eyes again.

And all he sees is fear.

Of him.

Chapter Text

Raph had been expecting something to go wrong. Since the moment he had stepped through Leo’s portal, there had been an almost tangible sense of dread building within him.

Ever since being made leader, Leo had been acting reckless and – although he didn’t like admitting it – downright irritating. Like he was purposely trying to make Raph mad.

So, when Leo had started acting serious and actually listening to Raph’s plans, it had only caused his worry to grow exponentially higher. Every time Leo didn’t fight against him, try to showboat, or go off by himself, Raph got more and more concerned.

Yes, Leo could get serious when he needed to, but that had been happening less and less lately. So, it had been a startling change.

But he had shoved the worry to the back of his mind, focusing on the situation at hand, once again deciding to deal with Leo later.

But now, watching as his brother stands with a furious look on his face, sword digging into to the Foot Lieutenant’s neck and looking fully prepared to kill, he has never wished more that he had listened to his instincts.

The Foot Lieutenant is now trying to get Leo to stop, voice sounding panicked and terrified, and Raph knows he should interfere but he is frozen where he stands completely taken aback by the situation.

The next words out of Leo’s mouth make his blood freeze. He has never heard his brother sound like that before. He sounds angry and broken and Raph is freaking out even more because what on earth has made his little brother sound like that.

Before it can escalate even further, however, Leo is being sent flying and the Foot Clan has escaped with the stolen object. Raph curses his inattentiveness, and ignores the relief he feels that Leo has been stopped. If the Foot is interested in something, then whatever it results in cannot be good for the fate of the world.

He knows he should be more worried about that, but right now he can only stare in slight horror at Leo. He doesn’t know what to do.

Leo is looking back at him with fear on his face.

There is silence for a moment. None of them know how to react.

“Did you just try and kill that guy?” He finally manages to say. He doesn’t know if he’s angry or scared and his tone comes across as a mix of the two. Leo flinches, still looking scared and a little bit guilty, and Raph tries to calm himself down.

“Sorry.” Leo says. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“That was more than just not thinking, Leo. You almost killed a guy.”

Leo doesn’t respond to that and he starts avoiding eye contact again.

And Raph, once again, doesn’t know what to do. His brother is reckless and impulsive but he wouldn’t just not think through something has serious as that. Or at least Raph thinks he wouldn’t.

He wants to demand answers, but he knows the more persistent he gets, the more Leo will clam up.

“We need to talk about this, Leo.” He says, trying to sound calmer than he really is. “This isn’t something we can ignore anymore.” He heads over to Leo, holding his right hand out for him to take.

Leo hesitates. So, Raph shoves away his fear and anger, and just tries to be the caring older brother.

“Raph is worried about you, Leo.”

It must work, as Leo calms down, shoulders relaxing and fear disappearing from his expression. He hesitates for a second, before reaching out to grasp Raph’s hand. Or he would, if he had done so with the correct hand. Both brother stare, confused for a moment at Leo’s outstretched left hand, before Leo draws in a sharp slightly panicked sounding breath and swaps arms.

“Is your arm okay?” Raph asks, confused.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine.” Leo responds, voice slightly high pitched but he doesn’t sound pained so Raph lets it go. There are – strangely – more important things to worry about then Leo acting weird over his arm.

Raph pulls Leo to his feet.

“Are you going to explain what’s going on?” Raph asks, putting his hands on his hips, and trying to sound as serious as possible.

Leo shifts from foot to foot and glances around them.

“We should head to the lair.” He says instead of answering Raph’s question.

Raph frowns. Leo sees his expression and grimaces.

“I’m not trying to avoid answering.” He defends. “Its just that we’re in the middle of the street.”

Raph has to admit that Leo makes a good point. “Okay. But we are talking about this as soon as we get back.”

Leo nods, drawing a sword as he does so. He doesn’t immediately open a portal, however, just stands there with his eyes closed.

“Leo?”

“Sorry, its been a while.”

Raph has absolutely no clue what that is supposed to mean but refuses to think too hard on it. He’s sure Leo will clarify later.

Finally, after a second, Leo takes a deep breath and cuts a portal into the air. He doesn’t move to enter it, however.

“Leo?”

Leo doesn’t respond, just stares at the portal with haunted look on his face. Raph’s worry is growing larger with every passing second and it takes all his strength to not hug his brother or demand that Leo gives him answers right this second. But, he thinks, as he draws in a calming breath, he trusts Leo and trusts that he will eventually tell Raph everything.

And if he doesn’t, well, then Raph will make him talk anyway.

Sensing that they’re ready to go, Donnie and Mikey head through the portal with one last worried glance back at Leo as they do so.

Raph puts his hand on Leo’s shoulder and Leo looks up at him.

“C’mon.” He says as he leads the slider forward.

They step into the lair together and he realises that Leo is suddenly putting more of his weight into Raph’s side. He looks down, worried, but Leo’s face is completely neutral.

“You okay?” He asks.

Leo nods and pulls away from him, face still worryingly blank.

“Time to talk then, Leo.” Raph says, immediately in response, not giving Leo even a second to back out. He watches as Donnie and Mikey slide behind Leo, cutting off his exit and making sure that he cannot escape.

But Leo doesn’t put up a fight. He nods again. He doesn’t talk immediately, instead he takes a deep breath, draws himself up to his full height, and puts on a serious expression that makes him seem so much older than he really is.

He looks tired, is all Raph can think.

“I’m not your Leo.”

Raph blinks. That definitely hadn’t been what he had been expecting.

“Leo, be serious.”

He’s already starting to get irritated. He thought that Leo was getting over this.

Leo frowns. “I am being serious.”

“So, what are you then? An imposter? A clone?” Donnie cuts in, grabbing at Leo’s arms and holding them up to his eyes as if he’s trying to inspect them for flaws.

“I’m not an imposter. Or a clone or anything else.” Leo says, sounding exasperated but looking fond and not moving to shove Donnie away from him. “I should have been more specific.” Leo takes another deep breath. “I time travelled.”

There’s silence again.

Donnie and Mikey start laughing. Mikey drops to the floor, legs kicking into the air and arms hitting the floor. Donnie leans over, hands on his knees as he wheezes.

Raph sighs, irritated. Normally he would be laughing along with his two brothers but, after the emotional roller-coaster that had been today, Raph has reached the end of his tether.

“Time travel doesn’t exist.” He growls, glaring at Leo.

“Yeah, and if it was possible, future Donnie would have come back and already given me all the lottery numbers like we planned.” Donnie cuts in, shoving Raph out of the way to give Leo a disapproving look.

Raph grumbles, recovering from the unexpected shove, and pushes Donnie back out of the way.

He turns back to Leo, ready to continue his scolding, when he catches sight of the expression on his face. He doesn’t look smug. When Leo manages to trick one of them, he is always unable to keep the smug grin off his face. But now he just looks resigned and uncomfortable. Like he desperately wants them to believe him but doesn’t know how.

“I’m telling the truth.” Leo says when he notices Raph hesitate. He looks completely sincere.

“In the future,” he continues, “an alien race called The Krang decimate the planet. They destroy everything. The plan was to go back in time and stop them before they get here but...” He trails off, eyes going distant, and Raph shares a look with his two other brothers. None of them know what to think.

“The Krang?”

Splinter exclaims from behind him, and Raph jumps, not having heard his father enter the room. Splinter looks horrified.

“You know them?”

Splinter nods, unexpectedly serious. He hears Leo draw in a sharp breath and Raph turns to see the sliders eyes widen and water before he hastily wipes them dry. Raph refuses to think what that reaction could mean.

Especially if Leo had, indeed, time travelled.

“Yes, I have heard of them.” Splinter admits. “Powerful, barbaric creatures worshiped by the Foot Clan. Legend says they came from the stars. Ruthless, unmerciful, with one desire...” Splinter pauses, closing his eyes and looking wary and tired. “To enslave our world like so many before us.”

Splinter continues to explain the terror that is The Krang and how they were originally defeated. Raph’s hands clench into fists and he’s sure that everyone can smell his fear stink at this point. He glances over to check on Donnie and Mikey and both look equally as horrified.

“He really is from the future?” Mikey asks turning to look back at Leo. “Mind blown!” He gasps, imitating an explosion as he does so.

“The plan was to find the key and get it before The Krang could be released but...” A frustrated expression crosses Leo’s face and he bows his head forward. “I’m sorry, I let my anger get the better of me and the Foot Clan managed to get the key again.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Raph tries to reassure him. Leo shakes his head.

“It shouldn’t have been me.” He admits. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I was sending someone else back but something went wrong and now I’m stuck here, in this body, and I didn’t even get the key.”

Raph places his hand onto Leo’s shoulder.

“It’s okay.” He repeats. He ignores the idea that Leo is older than him now. Raph will always be the older brother. And as the oldest brother, he will always be there for his little brothers. “We know the Foot Clan has they key, so if we find them, we find the key.”

Raph turns to leave.

“Wait, hold on,” Leo finally speaks again. “We can’t go rushing off, we need a Plan. We can’t afford to not get the key this time.”

There’s a silence as Leo waits for a response. There is none.

“What?” Leo questions looking uncomfortable.

“You really are from the future.” Donnie finally says, somehow managing to sound both surprised and sarcastic at the same time.

“He wants to make a plan!” Mikey cheers.

Raph is pretty sure his eyes are watering.

Leo smiles and rolls his eyes. “Hilarious.” But there’s a waver in his voice and a flash of some emotion in his eyes that dampens any humour that Raph had been feeling.

“This isn’t how I expected time travel to work.” Donnie interrupts. And judging by the abrupt change in topic, Donnie has most likely noticed Leo’s expression as well. The soft-shelled turtle could be surprisingly observant sometimes.

Leo jumps eagerly into the change of topic.

“I didn’t know it could work this way either.” He explains. “As I said, I didn’t mean to end up like this either.”

“So, what happened to our Leo? Is he just gone?” Mikey sounds heartbroken and scared and Raph hates hearing his brother sound that way. He looks over at Leo’s face and his brother looks guilty, but not too upset, and Raph feels himself relax minutely.

“No, he’s still around.” Leo taps his head, and there’s an emotion that crosses his face that Raph can’t quite figure out. “He’s still in here.”

“Can we talk to him?” Donnie asks, sounding both fascinated and concerned.

Leo hesitates for a second before he shakes his head.

“I think he passed out.” Leo admits.

“How could he pass out?”

Leo looks briefly guilty.

“He tried to stop me earlier and I guess it was too much for him.”

“What do you mean it was too much for him? It’s his body.”

Leo sighs. “We’re stuck.” He finally admits. “I’m in control and he’s stuck in here.” He gestures vaguely up towards his head.

There’s a pause as they all take in what Leo has just said. Raph doesn’t know what to think or feel. He’s not good with these kinds of things, he admits, so he knows he can’t truly grasp just what this means. All he knows is that his brother – or the version that he knows – has disappeared from his sight, only to be replaced by this version of his brother who is so different that he feels almost like a stranger at times.

Leo must notice the expression on his face, as his gaze softens.

“He’ll be okay.”

Raph wants to relax at the reassurance. Leo sounds confident and he wants believe that it will turn out okay. Yet, some small part of Raph hesitates. Leo tries to hide it, but there’s an underlying tone to his voice that makes him sound almost indifferent to the fate of his younger self.

The conversation moves on although Leo is clearly paying less and less attention. He looks around, beginning to ignore everyone, and looks increasingly uncomfortable. Raph is about to ask if he’s okay when Leo abruptly speaks.

“I need to go to the little turtles room.”

Before any of them can respond, Leo practically sprints from the room. The three remaining brothers and their father watch him go.

“Should we go after him?” Mikey asks, voice small and concerned. Raph shakes his head.

“I think he needs some time by himself.”

Raph watches with an aching heart at the spot where Leo had stood. It is strange, he thinks, how similar and different this version of Leo is. An uncanny imitation that honestly makes him a bit nervous sometimes. He sighs. Just what had the future turned his brother into?

He has been on the verge of what is probably going to be a pretty nasty panic attack for what seems like hours now.

Every second that he’s back is utterly terrifying. And it keeps getting worse. He feels like he’s been holding his breath this entire time whilst he waits for the dam to break.

And when Raph leads him through the portal and into the lair, it takes every ounce of strength he has to keep going. He hasn’t been here since the world fist ended. He has forgotten what it’s like to be somewhere warm and safe. To have a home. His legs go weak and he leans against Raph in order to keep standing.

He barely manages to keep himself together as he talks to his family. And when they start taking about his recklessness and his inability to take things seriously, each word stabs into him. He knows they don’t mean anything by it. And he knows that, from their point of view, he is those things.

But he had tried so hard to learn from who he used to be. To be better. It had been hard and painful but he had been so proud to grow and become who is now.

Raph says something about going off to find the Foot Clan. Leo wants nothing more than to rush off and chase after them and the key, except he knows, more than anyone, just what disaster having no plan can bring. So, he calls Raph back, wanting to discuss a plan of action, but his family have stopped moving and are all staring at him in shock.

“What?” He asks, defensive.

“Wow, you really are from the future.”

“He wants to make a plan!”

Leo is pretty sure Raph is on the verge of tears.

It stings. This isn’t who I am, he wants to scream. But outwardly, he smiles and rolls his eyes. “Hilarious.”

He must let some emotion slip, however, as Donnie abruptly changes the topic. He doesn’t care that he’s been caught. He just wants to stop talking about the failure that he used to be.

But then they are talking about his younger self. Another topic he had wanted to avoid as for long as he could. He still cannot hear or feel the younger version of him and he knows he should be worried but he is relieved in a way.

He struggles through the conversation, trying to stay outwardly optimistic when deep down he knows that he does not care about the fate of his younger self.

He hates himself too much for that.

The conversation keeps going and it is all too much.

He needs to get out.

“I need to go to the little turtles room.”

He is trying to shove some humour into his voice, into the situation. A habit that he had never fully managed to grow out of. But it falls flat and he flees from the room.

He stumbles down the stairs, barely managing to keep upright. He’s breathing heavily now, on the verge of hyperventilating. He almost falls into his room and lands with a thump into a large mirror. He had thought that being here might have calmed him down but the nostalgia is no longer comforting.

In fact, it is making things worse.

He pushes himself off of the mirror, intent on finding something else to calm him down, when he catches sight of the reflection that stares back at him.

It is familiar, yet so incredibly different. Young, unscarred, and full of life but corrupted by a tiredness from deep within his soul. A tiredness that being in a different body cannot erase.

And he hates it.

Not the tiredness, he’s long since grown used to that. It’s the youthful face that he loathes.

Why do you get to look so carefree, he thinks, when it is you who caused this mess.

He reaches towards the mirror.

He looks at himself. At the young turtle reaching back. At the old yet familiar gear worn by a juvenile face.

He feels sick. He hates it. Hates him.

The mirror shatters beneath his hand.

He flinches back, terrified, and trips over his own feet.

He can’t do this.

He doesn’t want to look like this.

He doesn’t want to be this again. Be him again.

To be the him that ruined everything.

Out of the corner of his eyes he spots a draw that is overflowing with a variety of clothes. Desperate, he launches himself over to it, and starts frantically rifling through the assortment of clothes, hoping to find something that won’t make him feel sick.

He knows that a change of clothes won’t really help in the long run, but he needs something, anything, to help him claw himself back to some form of normality.

If he can just pretend, even for a second, that he’s back to being himself. To being strong, dependable Leonardo. Then maybe, hopefully, he won’t keep falling apart. That he can finally stop feeling like he’s tumbling headfirst into an abyss.

He takes a deep breath and begins to calm himself down.

He glances down at the items of clothing that he now holds within his hands. He runs a hand over the fabric and lets the feeling ground him further. Taking a breath, he gets up and puts them on.

He risks a glance at himself in the mirror and relaxes just a bit more. He looks like himself, the knee-length trousers and hooded scarf so similar to the outfit he used to wear.

The static fades from his hearing and he finally realises that there’s a cacophony of noise coming from above him.

He thinks he’s calmed down enough to investigate.

He leaves his old room, staring resolutely forward as he does so, and refuses to look back.

Put one foot in front of the other. Don’t think too hard.

He slows down his breathing and counts to ten.

He can do this.

As he reaches the top of the stairs, he catches a glimpse of a familiar face and freezes, one foot still raised just above the final step.

It is face he had hoped that he would see again.

He jolts forward, ignoring the chaos within the room, eyes locked only on one thing. On one person.

“Casey?”

Chapter Text

The world comes back into focus with a swirl of colours. He sits for a moment as his vision wavers and he tries to remember how he ended up here.

Master Michelangelo.

The time portal.

Watching helplessly as his sensei-

He purposely chooses to skip past that thought.

He remembers waking up in a New York that is so incredibly different to anything that he was used to seeing. So full of life and colour. It was vibrant and cheerful in a way that Casey had never experienced. Filled with the sounds of so many people happily living their lives instead of fearing for them. The contrast of the past and future was staggering. He didn’t know what to think. He had been lost and so overwhelmed. Unknowing of where to go or how to begin.

He blinks and his vision stops swimming. That’s right. He had gone to find Commander April and then once he had she... She’d knocked him out. Or at least that’s what he assumed had happened – and the throbbing of his head seems to support that theory.

“And then I saw that picture and I brought him here.” Commander April is saying.

Through the confusion and disorientation, he tries to figure out just where he is. He’s inside or underground now, the dim lighting revealing that fact. There are small lights strung up around the area and there are a large variety of object strewn about the place. He thinks he’s in a subway station of some kind. The resistance had sheltered in some on occasion before.

He can make out four other figures standing around, looking intently at whatever Commander April is showing them. There’s a large rat sitting on a worn-down looking sofa with a bowl of something in his lap. He munches absentmindedly on whatever it contains. It must be Master Splinter. Casey had never known him but recognises him from the old photo that had been shoved into his hands not long earlier. Surrounding Master Splinter and Commander April, are two turtles. A box turtle in orange, and an armoured soft-shell in purple. And standing close to him, with his shell facing towards him, is a third turtle; a snapping turtle in red.

Excitement fills him, and he lets himself get taken over by it – somehow managing to forget his current situation. He lets out a gasp and all eyes turn to stare at him.

“It’s you! It’s all of-”

He cuts himself off, noticing that there’s one turtle missing, however, and reality crashes back into him. He doesn’t know if he’s relieved or disappointed. The idea of a younger version of his sensei is... weird. He knows that this version will not recognise him and that’s a concept that feels so incredibly painful. But the thought of never seeing him again... Well, that just seems worse. So, he opens his mouth to ask but is interrupted by the thunk of a projector landing on the table in front of him. It flickers to life with a click and a whir of machinery, and he squints at the light that proceeds to shine into his eyes.

The tall figure that appears and blocks the light is a relief, and Casey blinks the spots out of his vision. The giant turtle leans over Casey, one large hand grabbing the back of the chair and the other pointing at him. He would probably be intimidating, if Casey hadn’t heard so much about him. So, this is Raphael, he thinks feeling slightly awed. The oldest brother and the turtle that Casey had only ever really got to know through fond stories told by a grieving family.

“Who are you, and why do you have a picture of us?”

Suddenly Casey’s picture is being held in front of his face. Where did Raphael just grab that from? Never mind that, he thinks with a shake of his head, Raphael had asked him a question. Casey opens his mouth to answer, but is interrupted by the appearance of Master Michelangelo.

“What’s your favourite pizza?” He questions, arms crossed and looking serious. “‘Cause I’m ordering right now.” He grabs a phone and starts tapping away on it, looking much more cheerful as he presses it to an ear.

The abrupt change in topic leaves Casey speechless. This is the weirdest interrogation that Casey has ever seen. Is this even an interrogation anymore? The irritated look on Raphael’s face as he shoves it into his hand, tells Casey that this isn’t how things were supposed to go.

“And why are you wearing genius-built apparel?” Donatello exclaims, shoving to the front of his brothers, arms gesturing wildly.

He reaches forward, grabs the front of Casey’s cloak, and pulls Casey towards him.

“That’s trademarked!” He all but growls into his face, slamming his other arm into Casey’s wrist.

There’s a click and a beep as Casey’s grappling hook activates, clocking the genius turtle in the beak as it does so. What follows next he can only describe as pure chaos, and Casey has never felt more confused.

Donatello is spun round with the force of the hit, goggles flying off his head. The grappling hook ricochets off of the walls, floors, and ceilings, picking up speed as it goes, and forcing the occupants of the room to dodge. Casey manages to lean out of the grappling hooks path a few times. Pleased that he manages to do so while restrained. Then it must finally grab on to something, as he can feel the attached rope going taut. Oh no, is all he can think, when he is flipped upside down as he starts to get pulled upwards. He’s going to crash into something with his whole body restrained as it is.

“He’s trying to escape!” Michelangelo yells from bellow him.

He really isn’t trying to escape.

Michelangelo trips over his own feet, smoothly transitioning into a forward roll, before leaping up and pulling Casey back down again. He lands with a harsh thud onto his face and Casey is left wildly swinging back and forth from the still attached grappling hook. As he swings backwards, he feels a slight thump as he and the chair collide with Michelangelo.

His awe is very quickly starting to fade.

“Want me to knock him out again?”

He catches a glimpse of Commander April arriving, her bat held up and ready to use.

“Let me.”

He comes face to face briefly with Raphael who is getting ready to punch him. He is relieved when the chair swings away.

He thinks he catches a glimpse of Michelangelo shaking Donatello as he cries out his name, trying to wake him up. He also catches sight of Master Splinter happily munching away at his food as he watches the situation play out.

He’s upside down, swinging back and forth, the blood rushing to his head, and feeling dizzier with every passing second. But he can only stare, completely and utterly confused, unable to really process the chaos that had just unfolded.

“Casey?”

He startles. He knows that voice. It sounds younger than he recognises, a slightly higher pitch than the comforting tone he was used to. But he recognises it, nonetheless. As the chair spins around again, he catches sight of the familiar figure of his sensei. He grins, watching as Leonardo hurries over to him.

“Sensei!” He cries, overjoyed to see his sensei again. Even if he will not be recognised.

But.

Wait.

Hold on.

His brain finally processes the last few seconds.

He knew his name?

Leonardo has reached him now, grabbing hold of the chair to stop it spinning, looking worriedly over him but not moving to cut him down.

“Casey, are you okay?” He says, and Casey’s brain jumps back into some form of working order.

His Sensei knew his name. That shouldn’t be possible.

“What?” Is all he can say.

But Leonardo ignores him, turning sharply to face his brothers. His hands are on his hips, and from his tone of voice, Casey can tell that he probably looks disappointed as well. He’s been on the receiving end of that look too many times to not recognise it by tone alone.

Something that seems like hope is starting to build up within him.

“Why is he tied up?”

The room has finally gone silent and still. All the occupants staring wide-eyed at him. Leonardo looks around, finally seeming to take in the state of the room. At Raphael ready to fight. At Donatello collapsed with limbs splayed out on the floor. And, hold on, is Master Michelangelo guiding a blindfolded and bat-wielding Commander April towards him? Casey has never seen his mentors acting so carefree and childish and it is incredibly jarring.

“And what is going on in here?”

Raphael relaxes his stance slightly and Donatello picks himself up off the floor, dusting himself off as he does.

“He snuck up behind April, and when she knocked him out, she found this photo.”

Raphael says, handing Leonardo the photo. Leonardo gently, almost reverently, takes the photo. He stares silently at it, rubbing a finger gently across it. He stares, lost in thought for a moment, before he looks back up at Raphael with a unimpressed look on his face.

“The photo I gave him.”

There’s a pause. Casey draws in a sharp breath of surprise as the pieces begin clicking together.

“Wait, you know each other!?” Michelangelo gasps in surprise, pointing dramatically between the two.

“I did tell you I sent someone else back in time.”

Casey’s eyes begin to water. That confirms it, doesn’t it.

“You said you meant to send someone else back in time, not that you did.” Donatello says in a deadpan voice.

“Eh, same difference.”

Donatello’s eye twitches. “How are you still so infuriating?”

“Calm down, you two.” Raphael interrupts, pushing the two away from each other. He turns back to face Leonardo.

“Leo, how do you know him?”

“He’s my- my student.” He says dismissively, turning back to Donatello.

“Why is he tied up and hanging upside down?”

“He had a photo of us.” Donatello shrugs.

“So you tied him up and dangled him from the ceiling?”

“Eh, he’s fine.”

Donatello says, appearing beside Casey. In one smooth motion, he is untangled from the ropes binding him and cut down.  He lands on the floor with a loud and painful thump. Casey lays crumpled where he landed, trying to process the thoughts swirling around his head. He’d mentioned time travel. He knew about time travel. And he knew Casey. There’s a feeling of fear and excitement bubbling up within him.

He must have taken too long to attempt to collect himself as there’s suddenly a three-fingered hand on his shoulder. He looks up, blinking through blurred vision.

“Sensei.” He chokes out.

Master Leonardo smiles at him.

“Hi, Case.”

And before he knows it the tears in his eyes are pouring unbidden down his cheeks. He lunges forward.

“I thought you died.” He sobs.

“Its okay. I’m okay.” Leonardo says, hands rubbing his back reassuringly. And it is as if Casey is a child again. Huddled in one of the few places of relative safety; enveloped within the warm arms of his Sensei, mourning loss after loss after loss.

He is so glad that, this time, these are tears of relief.

Leo lets Casey cry for a while, knowing just much this moment must mean for his student.

He lets his thoughts drift as he waits. However stressful it had been, his earlier panic and loss of control seems to have calmed him down slightly, and the appearance of Casey had only calmed him more. He is so happy that Casey had made it in one piece. That he hadn’t failed someone else. He’s still mildly panicked, of course. The feelings of anxiety still lingering within his mind, making him shaky and restless. But, to his relief, he had been able to actually attempt some humour to hide the tremble of his voice and hands. And it had worked. His brothers had been drawn into his performance and the worry in their faces had almost completely dissipated.

Casey shifts within his arms, pushing himself so he’s no longer leaning into his plastron, and Leo snaps back to the present.

“How did you get here?” Casey asks, rubbing the tears from his eyes, obviously attempting to control his emotions.

“I don’t know.” He says in return.

It’s a lie, of course. Or a small lie, at least. He has a vague idea as to how he got here, or as to who sent him back. But he doesn’t truly know how or why.

“But I though you- I saw you get-” Casey stumbles over his words, unable or unwilling to admit to what he had witnessed. And a small part of Leo is glad of that. He doesn’t want his family to know just what had happened to him moments before he ended up back in time. A part of him doesn’t even want to admit to himself what had happened.

“So, is anyone going to explain what’s going on?” Interrupts the slightly exasperated voice of April.

Leo jumps, not expecting anyone to break the silence. He suddenly becomes hyper aware that his family had been watching the entire time. But it is nice to see this version of April again. Out of all of the past versions of his family, she had been the easiest to see again. He had seen her not long before he had ended up back in time, after all. And he knows that something had happened to her in that final battle, as she had stopped getting in contact with him. But he hadn’t seen it happen – had been spared that horror at least – so it is easier to pretend, when he looks at this young and happy version, that she had been okay.

“Oh, that’s right!” Mikey exclaims. “We never did explain things!” He slides towards Leo, arms spread out and waving them like he’s showing off a trophy.

“Leo’s from the future!” He pauses briefly before adding just as enthusiastically: “And I guess his friend is as well.”

April says nothing for a moment. Just stares blankly between Leo, Casey, and Mikey. Then she laughs, throwing her head back and clutching her sides. When no one joins in, however, she abruptly cuts it off.

“Why is no one else laughing?”

Raph pats her on the shoulder.

“Its true.”

“No way.” She gapes, turning to look at Donnie, who nods. She turns to look at Splinter, who does the same, and then finally over to Leo. He smiles and gives her a little wave.

“Yeah, I’m from the future.” He confirms, getting to his feet and offering a hand to help Casey up. Casey stares silently at his outstretched right hand. Ah, that’s right, he has a right arm again. He wiggles his fingers, grinning when Casey looks up at him in shock. “C’mon.” He encourages. Casey hesitates a second longer before he reaches back and allows himself to be pulled upwards.

“We’ll fill you in on the way.” He says, looking over to April. “But we have a key to find and we’re running out of time.”

Now that he has calmed down, he is starting to grow agitated. Spending time with his family again has made him even more determined to succeed. He cannot wait any longer. He turns to Donnie.

“Have you managed to locate the Foot Clan?”

Donnie nods.

“Good. I have a plan, and I’ll explain on the way. Are we ready to go?”

He receives nods and noises of affirmation in return. He gazes over his family – at his whole and healthy family – and promises to himself that the future will not repeat itself. He shoves the thoughts of what could have been to the back of his mind.

“Okay then,” he says, turning towards the exit and leading the way forward. “Lets go save the world.”

There’s blood on his hands.

He’s yelling; soaked hands trying fruitlessly to put pressure on the wound. He knows it’s useless – the wound is too large and too much blood has been lost – but he keeps trying.

“Please.” He begs.

Tears are falling unrestrained and mixing with the blood.

“Please.” He begs again. “Please, you can’t do this.”

He presses his face onto a scaled forehead. He cries, a hand holding onto a large wrist, feeling every weakening heartbeat.

“Not for me.”

There’s a small and weak laugh. A hand reaches up and presses against his face.

“I’m your brother. Of course I’d save you.”

(He wants to close his eyes but when he does, he can still see. He wants to cover his ears and block out the sounds of death and destruction but he cannot move his hands. He wants to run but he is frozen.)

He watches as the hand falls limp, and feels as a heartbeat slows.

(He is trapped, performing a play that will not end.)

Then stops.

(He has been reduced to a marionette, strung along to someone else’s will, unable to break free of the strings that puppet him.)

His body is numb with an overwhelming grief.

(He screams and cries but his body remains still.)

This was all wrong. After everything he’d done. After everything he’d caused.

It should’ve been him.

(Would this nightmare ever end?)

There are hands on his shoulders, pulling him away, and voices begging him to move. He shoves them away, clinging desperately to the cooling body. Sobbing so hard that he thinks he might be sick. The hands pull at him again, this time successfully dragging him away. He cries out wordlessly, hands grasping frantically onto a tattered red mask.

It comes loose as he is dragged backwards.

The ground shakes, the world is burning, and the voices are beginning to become clear again. He comes back to his senses enough to admit that – although he hates it –he has no choice but to leave.

He cannot let his sacrifice be a waste.

With one final glance backwards, he presses the cloth against his plastron, and continues running.

(The play ends with a slam of the curtains, and Leo is aware of himself again. He curls up as much as he can, arms clutched tightly against his plastron, longing for a comfort that he cannot receive.

For he is still trapped.

Not quite a puppet but not fully free either.

He is helpless and scared.

Unable to do anything but cry out unheard into the dark.)

Chapter Text

The sky is a dark cloudy blue, covering the land in a murky darkness. The fog thick enough to suppress any light that attempts to pierce through the smothering gloom.

A bell tolls in the distance.

Shadows move within the darkness, unseen and unheard, as they travel silently across the terrain. There’s a pause, a signal is made, and the figures spilt off into two groups. One entering from the back of an old abandoned building, and the other slowly and carefully making their way up to the roof.

Completely unaware of the intruders, the Foot Clan is relaxed, confident that their plan is about to go off without a hitch.

Purple flames flicker to life, casting an ominous glow onto the occupants of the old dilapidated building.

“Tonight,” the Foot Lieutenant announces, raising his arms towards the murky sky. “We liberate our masters from their dimensional prison.”

The key is clutched tightly within his grasp. He raises it up for the soldiers to see.

“With this key, we shall free them to lay waste to this world and enslave its people.”

As he continues to speak, a shadow sneaks out from behind the portal gate. Moving slowly and making sure to stay out of view. This is risky and there’s a high chance this could go wrong. But he is confident in his abilities and certain that there’s is no time to plan something safer.

He trusts himself to succeed.

Hypno and the worm start talking. A perfect distraction.

He reaches forward, fingertips brushing against the edge of the key when suddenly all he knows is fear. His arm twitches violently and crashes into the key, sending both him and it crashing to the floor.

Blood.

Fear.

A sacrifice.

He sucks in a sharp breath, clawing his thoughts back to reality with an ease that only experience gives. He shakes the terrifying images from his mind. He’s shaking, limbs trembling as he tries to regain control of himself. Instincts ingrained through years of hard battle force him to his feet. He tries to concentrate of the battle that is beginning to rage around him, vaguely aware of someone tugging on his trembling arm.

He shoves down the nausea and panic that the sensation brings.

Focus, Leonardo, focus.

There’s so much noise both inside and out of his head.

Yelling of the Foot Lieutenant.

His family dropping down from the ceiling above.

The clangs of clashing weapons and the thuds of impact.

And then the soft – but somehow loud – crying of his younger self.

What just happened, he thinks.

He can feel his younger self startle and images flash into his mind again.

He knows, instantly, what his younger self has just seen.

He doesn’t know how it had happened.

Only knows that it has.

He should feel sympathy, but now that’s he’s recovering, all he can feel is a bubbling and burning rage. Some small part of him is aware that the rage is clouding his judgment, that he should calm down and think rationally. He knows, objectively, that it’s not his past self’s fault but the anger is all consuming and he surrenders all control to it.

It’s all messed up again.

He failed to get the key.

‘What was that?’ He thinks, snarling the thought towards his younger self.

He says nothing but Leo can feel the indignation that his younger self is feeling.

Whoever’s shaking him is becoming more insistent. A voice is yelling into his ear. He ignores the angered and pained cries of his younger self and focuses on the present. It is Casey who is yelling.

Leo takes in the rapidly declining situation. The Foot Lieutenant is hurrying over to the discarded key. Leo staggers to his feet and draws a sword. He gives Casey a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and motions over to the lieutenant. Casey nods in understanding and the two charge forward in sync.

Working in tandem, the two almost reach the lieutenant before he manages to grab the key. Leo makes a noise of irritation.

“Casey, you hold these guys back.”

Casey nods but doesn’t take his attention away from his foes. He trusts that Casey can hold these guys off. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots his family moving ever closer. He turns his attention back towards the lieutenant and charges.

“Did you not learn your lesson.” He snarls as he slams into the lieutenants back. The key goes skidding across the floor where it comes to a stop just below the inactive portal.

The Lieutenant regards him warily, obviously none too pleased to be dealing with Leo again. He shakes minutely.

“I beat you last time, I can do it again.” He responds, trembling voice exposing his fear. “I’m not scared of you.”

“Are you sure about that?” Leo jeers, narrowing his eyes as he raises his sword, trying to look as intimidating as possible. He charges forward and the lieutenant squeaks in fear, covering his face with his arms.

Leo charges past him.

He hears a cry of indignation, and a hand wraps around his ankle. He trips, face slamming into the ground with a thud. He picks his face up from the floor and turns to glare behind him. Angry, he kicks out his free foot and slams it into the lieutenant’s face. He doesn’t let go, and when Leo removes his foot, he can see that the lieutenant is grinning at him.

He laughs and Leo feels his heart sink. He whips back around just in time to watch as the key clicks into place.

The portal jolts to life with a spark of purple lighting. Crackling as opens wider and wider.

“No!” He screams, frozen in horror as the worst-case scenario unfolds before him.

Casey appears from behind, kicking the Foot soldier out of the way as he lunges desperately towards the key.

It is too late, however, and the portal snaps open with a blinding surge of light. Both Leo and Casey – and the enemies around them – are thrown backwards by the resulting force of the opening doorway. Leo grunts in pain as he slams into a metal barrier but manages to reach out a hand to grasp hold of Casey before he is sent flying further.

He watches as the doorway opens and doom approaches.

A figure emerges from within the portal and Leo stops being able to breath. He is absolutely terrified. He thought he was over this; thought he could do it. But the sight of the Krang fills him with an unshakeable fear. Come on, Leo, he tells himself. Get over this. You can do it. He gets to his feet, trembling. He has no choice but to do this.

He holds his sword out in front of him, and prepares to fight.

Raph watches in horror as everything falls apart.

He hadn’t expected things to go wrong so quickly. Leo had seemed so confident in his plan, and Raph had trusted him. He doesn’t know what exactly had happened but he can tell, by the look on Leo’s face, that it was completely unintentional. He feels like, in normal circumstances, he would have been annoyed at Leo. Annoyed that Leo had gotten too cocky and messed things up. But he can tell by the anger on his brothers face that this wasn’t due to overconfidence.

But after the initial incident, things had kept falling apart. And now he stands surrounded by his family as he watches the worst-case scenario come to pass.

“Oh no.” He hears Casey say with a voice filled with fear. “They’re here!”

“Then let’s make sure their visits short and sweet.”

He holds his Sai forward, pointing towards the enemy. His family all fall into battle-ready stances. All focused solely on the enemy before them.

“I’m finally free!” The Krang speaks, roaring out the final word, with a grin adorning his face. “The people of this planet will pay for what they’ve done to me.”

The Krang moves forward, limbs slithering across the ground, and Raph suppresses a shudder at the sight of it. He charges forwards, ready to fight. His arms begin to spark with power when he remembers a warning.

It was a warning given – almost reluctantly – after a plan had been told. He remembers the solemn and almost fearful look on his brothers face as he speaks of the Krang.

“If, for some reason, we fail.” He had said. “Do not use your mystic powers unless its life or death.”

They had all voiced their confusion and Leo had shaken his head.

“Trust me.” He responded. “It won’t come to that, but trust me.”

And Raph does.

So, he dissipates his ninpo and charges forward, Sais ready to attack. He pulls himself up onto the platform above.

“Welcome to Earth. I hope you don’t enjoy your stay.”

He swings a fist forward but is blocked. The Krang grabs him around his neck and drags him forward. The Krang growls into his face. His family are not far behind, weapons swinging to attack but are defeated just as easily. They try to attack but are completely unable to land even a single hit. They are all flung backwards off the platform.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Leo charge forward. He manages to get a small hit in but, like everyone else, is blocked.

Raph watches winded and amazed as his brother fights. If there had been any doubt that this was a future version of his brother, then all doubt leaves his mind as he watches him fight. He fights with a fluidity and confidence that only experience could have given him. He dodges attacks with expertise. Fighting successfully and easily without any use of mystic powers.

Despite himself, Raph cannot help but feel proud at how much his brother has grown.

It doesn’t last, however, and the Krang snarls in frustration, managing to grab Leo by the foot. His brother is left dangling upside-down in the air as the Krang reels an arm back and Raph knows in an instant what is about to happen.

Sorry little brother, he thinks as he charges forward, but this probably counts as life and death. He summons his ninpo and slams a glowing fist into the Krang’s leg. The alien snarls in pain and drops Leo. Leo lands on the floor with a cry of pain but quickly gets back to his feet. He looks up at Raph with a frustrated expression on his face. And for a second, Raph feels like he is about to get lectured, but Leo just sighs and gets back to fighting.

It should be easy, seven on one with mystic weapons involved, but the Krang easily overwhelms them. They must be doing something, however, as the Krang growls in frustration.

“Enough!”

He yells, opening his mouth and letting out an ear-piercing roar.

The very air seems to shake as waves of energy roll over him and his brothers. In panic he dives towards Mikey and Donnie, covering them and hoping that he can protect them. He doesn’t know what this wave of energy will do but he will try and prevent his brothers from getting hurt. He’s too far away to protect Leo, and feels a pang of guilt at the fact, but if he can just protect these two at least.

With every wave that hits him, he can feel himself getting weaker. His clone begins to disappear and it feels as though some part of him is being locked away.

The noise fades and Raph slumps to the ground, exhausted. Leo makes a noise of frustration.

“What was that?” Raph asks.

Leo glances over at him. “We won’t be able to use our mystic powers anymore.” He states.

“What!?” Raph gasps. He hears Donnie and Mikey echo his shout. “Why didn’t you say that could happen?”

“I thought it we would be able to stop it before it could get to this point.” Leo says in return.

Mikey swings his nun chucks around, attempting to summon his mystic powers but ultimately failing. He looks scared and Raph can do nothing to help.

Meanwhile, the Krang moves back towards the portal.

“Brother, sister, join me. Time for us to finish remaking this universe in the image of Krang.”

Two more Krang emerge from within the portal. One tall and the other much shorter. The tall one is laughing as she leaps towards her brother.

“How I’ve waited for this day.” She says with glee.

Whilst they are distracted, Leo takes the opportunity to move closer to the rest of his family.

“You need to get out of here.” He whispers and Raph is torn. He wants to finish the fight but he knows if Leo is worried then they may have no other option.

He doesn’t have time to decide, however, as the female Krang leaps towards the group and the battle continues. This one is a lot more viscous than the original Krang. A lot more bloodthirsty. Whereas the original Krang had mainly blocked them, this one attacks with a fierce and deadly determination. Laughing constantly has she does. Raph is flung back into a wall, just barely managing to dodge as she flies past him again.

Splinter jumps at the Krang, slamming into the back of her. He dodges a deadly retaliatory swipe, swinging his tail around for an attack with a cry of “hot soup!”

The tail smacks into the Krang’s face but she doesn’t flinch and instead bites down onto the tail. Splinter yelps in pain as he is swung round by his tail. He is released and bounces across the floor before slamming into Raph. The two go flying into a pillar and the ceiling collapses down on top of them.

Raph lays stunned for a moment, trying to see through blurred vision. He grunts, trying to move the rubble from on top of him. He pushes it off. He’s free. He takes  second to bring his breathing back under control, before turning round and spotting Splinter collapsed on the floor, out cold.

“No!” He shouts, panicked, scrambling over to his father, hoping that its not as bad as it seems.

He cradles his head in his hands. Splinter does not react to his touch.

Raph winces, feeling like he wants to cry.

He looks up, catching sight of the rest of his family, just barely managing to survive against the viscous Krang. The whole world has dissolved into chaos and Raph knows, immediately, what has to be done.

“Retreat!” He yells, voice breaking with the overwhelming fear that he feels.

“You don’t understand.” Casey responds. “We need to get that key or it’s only gonna get worse.”

Raph is about to argue back when Leo appears from behind his student.

“It’ll be okay, Casey.” He says.

“But sensei.”

Leo shakes his head. “Trust me.”

Casey pauses, looking like he wants to argue but eventually nods in acquisition. “Okay.”

Raph takes that as his queue.

“Donnie, escape pods, now.” He yells, hoping that Donnie can hear him over the noise.

“You don’t have to tell me twice!” Donnie shouts back as he dodges a large piece of debris thrown in his direction. He taps away at his wrist tech and several little pods emerge from his battle shell.

Donnie is the first to get scooped up and Raph watches with relief as he is sent to safety.

Then Mikey, April, and Casey.

Raph catches Splinter’s escape pod and makes sure his father is safe before he sorts himself out. He’s about to use his own pod when he spots Leo out of the corner of his eye.

His brother stands tall, staring resolutely at the open portal.

A blue escape pod lays discarded on the floor.

Raph remembers Leo’s words.

‘You need to escape.’

He had said.

You. Not we. You.

And suddenly he knows what Leo is about to do. He lunges forward, trying desperately to grab on to his brother but just misses.

He can only watch, horrified, as Leo sprints forward with a speed Raph didn’t know he possessed. He makes it to the top of the steps, dodging blow after blow.

Raph thinks he’s going to make it, but a Krang manages to grab onto his leg. Leo strains against his restraints, clawing desperately forwards.

He manages to grab the key and the portal closes with a bang, sending the Krang backwards and freeing Leo from their grasp.

Leo is immediately on the move, using the explosion as a distraction to escape but the sheer force of the explosion causes him to trip. The light fades, the Krang catch sight of his brother, and without even a second of hesitation, Raph launches himself forward. A single thought echoing within his mind.

Protect.

No matter what.

A shadow looms over him.

A series of images flashes into his mind.

Blood. Fear. A sacrifice.

For moment he is frozen as his mind processes the situation. It is as if the world is running in slow motion.

Its his brother. It is Raphael, leaning protectively over him, eyes shut as he braces himself for what’s to come.

The past and future mix together to become one. He knows what is about to happen.

Blood. Fear. Sacrifice.

He can’t let this happen.

This can’t happen again.

Neither can let this happen again.

And then, abruptly, it is as if something clicks into place. He feels like a weight that he didn’t even know existed has been removed, and he can suddenly move unrestricted. Two souls seem to merge and become one. The first time they work completely in sync, neither holding the other back; both united by an overwhelming desire to protect.

He kicks forward with a strength he didn’t know he possessed. His feet slam into Raph’s plastron, knocking him off balance and sending him backwards onto his carapace. Using the momentum, Leo rolls to the side. Just as he moves, the krang’s limb slams into the ground. The impact shatters the concrete, sending dust and debris flying into the air and skittering across the ground. Not hesitating for even a second, Leo gets to his feet. Without breaking eye contact with the Krang, Leo tucks the key inside a pouch, and then reaches up and draws both of his swords.

He quickly glances over at Raph, making sure that his (stupid sacrificial) brother is in one piece. He looks disoriented and confused by the abrupt kick but is also quickly getting to his feet. He looks back at the Krang, who is staring at the scene with obvious disgust.

He slashes the swords into the air, wincing in pain as he fails to open a portal. The Krang seems content to watch him fail, a sardonic grin upon his face.

Leo grits his teeth and tries again. Two beings pushing against their prison. Swords and markings glow and spark as they push and push and push before something cracks. Finally, a small portal opens and an object drops into his waiting hand.

The krang laughs. “Is that all you can accomplish.” He sneers. “After I was so generous as to wait for you.”

Leo smirks. “That’s all that I needed.”

He leaps forwards before the krang can respond. Heading not towards the enemy but towards his older yet younger brother. Raph sees him coming, registers the object in his hands, and his eyes go wide.

“Wait – no – Leo, stop!” He shouts, moving to dodge but Leo is too quick.

His hand and the escape pod slam into Raph’s plastron. Leo lets go and dodges back when Raph tries to grab for him as the escape pod comes to life around him. In seconds it is over. The escape pod flies away with Raph safely contained, his brother yelling out his name as he goes.

Leo watches, pleased, before he turns his attention back towards the Krang. His hands clench tightly against the hilt of his swords as his expression turns serious.

He takes in his situation.

Three on one.

No easy exit.

Completely powerless.

He smirks.

He’s faced worse odds.

He swings his swords around and gets ready to fight.

There’s a moment of silence and stillness. The calm before the incoming storm.

Then they all begin moving at once. The three Krang charging forward almost as one. Leo dodges, brushing past deadly points and teeth. He leaps towards the Krang, trying to use their numbers against them. One limb goes flying towards him, he dodges and the limb smashes into the female Krang who had been trying to sneak up behind him. He grins as the two begin growling and snapping at each other. With two distracted he tries to gain as much distance as he can, searching for an exit as he does.

He can’t find anything.

The battle rages on. Somehow, he has managed to survive this long, but he can feel himself tiring. While he still remembers everything that he has learned over the years, this body does not have the strength or stamina to go for as long as he would have been able to in his actual body.

Whatever energy he and his younger self had been able to create is beginning to fade as well. He can feel them both getting weaker, their connection wavering.

He needs a way out. He knows that he will not survive much longer.

He spots his salvation laying discarded on the floor. A small blue object. Leo could laugh at how lucky he is. He dives forward, dodging sharp limbs as he goes. Something almost stabs into his arm, drawing blood as it catches the edge of his skin. Another hits the side of his carapace, cracking it but not piercing anything vital. He swings a sword around and cuts into the limb before it can trap him. A Krang screeches in pain. He grits his teeth and continues forward.

He makes it.

He snatches the object off the ground, almost tripping, but managing to keep upright.

He slams the escape pod against his plastron. The Krang react but not fast enough. The escape pod fully encloses around him. He’s almost out of range when something slams into the edge of the escape pod, taking one engine out but the pod is still too fast for the Krang and is out of range before any more damage can be done.

He sighs in relief.

His relief doesn’t last for too long however, as the pod begins to spin out of control. He doesn’t quite make it to the shore before the pod looses power and slams into the water. Luckily Donnie’s design is as safe as ever, and the pod disengages as it enters the water, allowing him to escape.

He reaches the edge of the water with a gasp, spitting out water and scrambling up the muddy shore.

His limbs are weak and aching. He wants nothing more than to stay where he is and rest but he knows that he cannot risk it.

He picks his head up off the ground and looks around.

He needs to find safety.

He stands up on shaking legs and lurches forwards towards shelter. He sticks to the shadows as he searches. Blending in seamlessly and becoming almost completely invisible.

He cannot hear or see the krang. Does not know if they are chasing him or not. But he will not risk it.

He tries to control his laboured breathing. Trying not to make any sounds that will give him away.

Finally, after what seems like hours, he stumbles across a manhole cover. Breathing a sigh of relief, he jumps down into it. He almost collapses as he is covered in a comforting darkness. The Krang will not think to look for him down here. At least not yet. And by the time they do he should be long gone, safely within the hidden lair. Or at least he hopes so.

Within the relative safety of the sewer tunnels, the adrenaline and desire to protect fades and one become two once again.

We did it, his younger self laughs, sounding absolutely drained.

Yeah, we did. He thinks back. Proud of himself – of them both.

Some part of him softens. A small part of his armour chips. Maybe - just maybe - his younger self isn’t so bad.

His younger self (He should really come up with a nickname. Leon, maybe? He used to like going by Leon.) goes quiet within the back of his mind, obviously exhausted but managing to stay conscious, nonetheless.

He’s weak and in pain. Covered in blood and mud and who knows what else. But, for the first time in a very, very long time, things seem to be working out. He’s escaped the Krang. His brothers are alive. He’s alive. And the key is safe within his grasp.

Wishing desperately that he, too, could rest, Leo staggers onward with a smile on his face despite himself, determined to reach safety.

To reach home.

Chapter Text

It is incredibly disconcerting to be a spectator within your own body. A fact that Leo would have been more than happy to never have discovered.

But here he is, being shoved into a situation straight from his nightmares. Not that he’s ever dreamed of this type of situation before but he’s sure that it would have been a nightmare.

He’s getting distracted.

He can still see and hear everything, can feel his body moving. But he cannot feel anything he touches. It is like his hands, like his whole body, is completely numb.

He’s trying not to panic. Really trying his absolute hardest. But it’s so hard not to scream and fall apart, especially... especially after what he’d seen.

What he’d been made to see.

He can still feel the blood on his hands.

He winces and tries to shove the thought into the back of his mind. But, as he is unable to do anything but watch his body stumble through a dark and empty sewer, he finds there is very little to distract himself with.

So, he shoves past his fear and talks.

“So... you’re me?” He questions, putting together the small pieces of a puzzle that he’d be able to collect.

“Yes.” His future self nods with a strange tone of voice.

He doesn’t really know how to take that. From the small interactions that the two have had, he doesn’t feel overly optimistic about it his future.

Or about how he turns out in the future.

His future self has been rude and snappish towards him, ignoring him for the most part, and shouting at him almost every other time they talked.

At least – from the little that he’d seen – the anger had mostly been directed towards him and not his brothers. Future him seemed to care a lot for them.

They had both somehow managed to work together to save Raph after all.

So, his future self must just hate him then.

Which, y’know, fair enough; he doesn’t really like him much either.

His future self stumbles, catching himself on the wall and hissing in pain. He stays pressed against the wall for a while, panting as he attempts to catch his breath. A slow trickle of blood drips from the cut on his arm.

For a brief moment he is glad that he cannot feel the pain.

“Are you okay?” He asks, hesitant, afraid that future him might snap again.

“I’m fine, Leon.”

“Leon?”

“Well, there’s two of us it would be confusing otherwise.”

Future him makes a good point; he admits. Guess he’s Leon for now then.

“Are you sure you’re fine?” He questions, switching back to his original topic. “I hope you’re not messing up my handsome self too much.”

He goes to toss his mask tails over his shoulder, as he likes to do when he’s being dramatic, but can’t move.

That’s right, he thinks as his mood sinks, he can’t do anything right now. He had somehow forgotten for a moment.

“I think that’s the least of your worries right now.” Leo responds, sounding distinctly unimpressed.

Leon winces, guess his sense of humour isn’t as intact in the future as he had hoped.

The conversation – if it could be called a conversation – drifts back into silence once more.

Leo pushes off the wall and begins his slow walk forward again.

Leon watches him struggle, unable to do anything to help.

“What happened back there?” He asks, unable to bear the silence.

Leo sighs, whether in annoyance or some other emotion, Leon can’t tell.

“Back where?”

“Back with the Krang. When we – I don’t know – sort of merged, I guess.”

Leo shrugs.

“I don’t know.”

Silence consumes them again.

This is so incredibly awkward and Leon wishes he could run away from Leo and the conversation but he is stuck, so – despite knowing that he’s probably swinging a bat at a hornet’s nest – he continues.

“Do you not want to find out?”

“We achieved what we set out to do, that’s all that matters.”

“But what if we need to do it again?”

“We won’t.”

“But-”

“We won’t.” Leo interrupts, and Leon feels like he’s being scolded like a child. He bristles slightly in indignation.

“Why not.” He snaps.

“Because you caused that mess in the first place and I won’t let it happen again.”

Leon is so taken a back by Leo’s words that he is stunned into silence. He wants to be angry but he can’t muster up the energy to be. Because that’s sort of the truth, isn’t it? He had distracted Leo and caused him to mess up.

But that’s not true, a tiny part of him screams, it was an accident. But he is too tired and upset to really listen to it.

“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t-”

“It doesn’t matter if you meant to or not.” Leo snarls at him, any friendliness in his voice is completely gone.

(There’s a flash of an image in Leon’s mind. The flicker of a blue portal. The red glow of a clone made of light. A small object bouncing across the ground. But it is gone before he can make sense of it.)

“What matters is that it happened, and it was your fault.”

There is nothing Leon can say in response to that, nothing that Leo would listen to, so he says nothing.

In the silence he focuses back on himself. He’s so tired, barely managing to stay conscious. Whatever they had done had taken a lot out of him. He wants to sleep, to regain his strength, but he is afraid of what he might see, and what might happen whilst he’s unaware. And without anything to distract him, he cannot help his mind drifting back the images that started it all.

“Is it true?”

“Is what true?”

Leon hesitates, afraid of both the question and the answer.

“What I saw earlier... Did Raph- is he really-”

“Dead.”

Leon flinches at the word and the harsh almost emotionless tone that it is spoken in.

“Yeah.” Leo continues, and Leon still cannot figure the emotion in his voice. “Yeah, he died.”

And it was Leon’s fault that it almost happened again.

The rest of the journey is completed in silence.

“Congratulations on surviving, fam.”

Is the first thing that Donnie hears as he is ejected from the escape pod. He pinwheels his arms, trying to keep his balance.

He stays frozen on the spot as confetti drifts down from the ceiling.

Maybe that wasn’t his greatest idea, is all he can think.

He is soon joined by four other escape pods.

Green. Yellow. Orange. White.

A good start.

His brain takes a second too long to realise that the pods are facing inward towards him, and by then it is too late, and he is being crushed between four other bodies.

They ricochet off of each other, ending up strewn about on the floor.

An inert escape pod bounces off his face.

The others scatter around him, just barely missing hitting him as well.

He grunts in pain, mumbling “oh, I hate that” to himself.

“Everyone okay? Anybody hurt?” He hears April ask.

“How did we get here?”

Donnie sits up, staring wide-eye into the distance but not really seeing anything. He’s in shock, his brain numbly realises.

“Donnie pods. We’ve never had to use those before.”

He never thought that he would have ever had to use them. The Donnie pods were just a fail safe, a little tool to put his and Raph’s minds at ease.

The fact that they had to use them...

He can feel the panic building within him.

“So, how would everyone rate their escape experience?”

He gets blank stares in response.

“’Very satisfied’, ‘Very, very satisfied,’ ‘Extremely satisfied’”

“Donnie!” April yells, and he startles slightly.

“Sorry. Sorry.”

He shakes his head, trying to focus himself and chase away the panicked thoughts. He stares at April with what he hopes is an apologetic expression.

“Data collection calms me down.”

Splinter groans from the floor. April is the first one to reach him, and cradles him in her arms. She looks upset, but not too worried, so Donnie manages to calm down a little.

“This is terrible.” He hears Casey grumble as he gets to his feet, Mikey clinging to him as he does. “I can’t believe we retreated.”

“In case you didn’t notice,” Mikey yells in response, grabbing on to Casey mask in order to force eye contact. “We were getting our butts kicked!”

He flails his arms around in obvious panic before crushing Casey in what is probably a very uncomfortable hug. Irritated, Casey shoves Mikey away and Donnie hurries to his feet to grab his brother before Casey can knock him to the floor.

He knows Mikey needs the comfort, so he holds on to his little brother as they both watch Casey pace.

“But my- our mission was to stop the Krang.”

He keeps pacing.

“I don’t understand why Sensei would tell me to retreat.”

Donnie says nothing. And no one else speaks either. They stand in sombre silence.

With two of their group missing, and with Splinter injured, the situation seems bleak.

Donnie clutches Mikey tighter in his arms. He shuts his eyes and tries to bury the panic that threatens to overwhelm him.

Where are Leo and Raph?

Did his Donnie pods fail?

Is he the reason that they aren’t here?

Does this mean he is in charge now?

He doesn’t want to be in charge. He isn’t leader material. 

The whine of electricity and the noise of an engine cut through the thick silence and Donnie feels hope building in his chest. A single red pod lands in the centre of the room.

Raph stumbles out and lands on the floor with a heavy thud but Donnie cannot focus on that.

A single pod.

“Where’s my other pod?”

Wait. No. That’s not quite what he meant to say. He shakes his head.

“I mean where’s Leo?” He says, a beat after Mikey asks the same thing.

There’s anger instead of grief on his eldest brother’s face, and Donnie knows that anger should mean that Leo is relatively safe and not... not anything worse. But true anger is rare on Raph’s face nowadays and the sight of it causes him nothing but worry.

Raph snarls in rage and slams his fist into the ground, causing a sizable crack.

Donnie flinches and he feels Mikey grab onto his arm.

“Goddammit, Leo.”

“Raph, what happened?”

But Raph is lost within his own rage and doesn’t respond.

“Raphael?” Splinter speaks up and Raph snaps back to himself with a flinch. He turns to look at Splinter.

“What happened to Leonardo?”

All the tension seems to drain out of Raph.

“He- he went after the key.”

“He did?” Casey exclaims with excitement and hope then must remember the situation as his expression crumbles.

“Then where is he?”

“He tripped.” Raph admits and Donnie’s heart sinks, terrified of what Raph may say next. “And Raph tried to protect him but-”

Raph hesitates, seemingly at a loss for words.

“Raph doesn’t know what he did but his markings starting glowing blue and then he shoved me in a pod and stayed behind to fight the Krang by himself.”

Donnie blinks.

“I feel like you’re leaving a lot out, Raph.” April says.

Raph shakes his head. “I don’t really know what happened.”

He gets to his feet, wobbling slightly as he does.

“But that’s not important, we need to find Leo before anything happens to him.”

He starts heading towards the stairs that lead to the turtle tank.

“Wait, hold on, Raph.” Donnie says, surprised by Raph’s stubbornness.

“We’ve lost our mystic powers.” He tries to reason.

“We don’t have a plan.” Mikey chimes in.

Raph’s steps slow and then falter.

He sighs.

“I know.” He relents, sounding weary and tired.

Donnie sighs in relief as Ralph concedes to their worries. He turns back around to face them.

“Donnie, do you have any way to locate him?”

Donnie nods, he has exactly what they need. He taps away at his wrist tech, swiping up to display the map into the air so they can all see. He points towards the image of Leo’s face, trying not to worry too much about how slow he’s moving.

“According to the subcutaneous tracker I put on Leo, he’s in the sewer and heading towards our location.”

There’s an audible sigh of relief from everyone in the room.

“He actually made it out.” Raph says, then does a double take.

He turns to look Donnie in the eyes.

“Hold on, you put a tracker in Leo? Did you put one in all of us?”

He narrows his eyes, and all the other occupants in the room turn to stare at him as well.

Oh boy, that’s – that’s intimidating.

“No...” He tries to lie, knowing he doesn’t sound convincing.

He tries to smile in reassurance, wanting to avoid eye contact but knowing it’ll make him look guiltier.

“No, of course I did... n’t.”

He and Raph are locked in a tense stare off, neither willing do back down and Donnie doesn’t know how to change the subject.

“He’s moving really slowly.” Mikey interrupts, still clutching Donnie’s arm tightly. Although he is getting uncomfortable with the touch, he allows his little brother to continue.

Raph finally breaks eye contact in order to look at the map, and Donnie tries not to feel glad at the change in topic.

Raph frowns at the screen, worry creasing his brow.

“Let’s go get him.” Raph says, heading towards the lairs exit.

Donnie and Mikey follow after him without a word of protest.

It doesn’t take them long to fine their wayward brother, much to Donnie’s relief.

A relief that quickly vanishes when he sees the state Leo is in.

There’s still some relief, of course, that Leo did indeed escape from the Krang and that it isn’t some kind of trap.

But he’s not unharmed.

He’s leaning heavily against the wall as he walks, leaving a faint trail of blood behind him. There’s a thunderous look of anger upon Leo’s face and Donnie finds his steps faltering in his approach.

Raph doesn’t hesitate, however, and continues towards the slider.

“Leo!” Raph cries. “Are you okay?”

Leo laughs, but it sounds hollow, and his expression doesn’t change.

“Never been better.”

Raph falters at Leo’s tone of voice.

“Okay then.” Raph responds, and Donnie knows what’s about to happen when he sees the flicker of anger cross Raph’s expression.

Guess Raph hadn’t calmed down as much as Donnie had hoped.

“How dare you stay behind!”

Leo blinks in surprise but quickly responds in equal anger.

“How dare I? You were about to do the same thing!”

This is new, Donnie thinks, as he watches the beginnings of a train wreck, unable to look away. Leo doesn’t usually respond in anger. He likes to deflect and make jokes, masking how he’s truly feeling.

Donnie has very rarely seen Leo angry.

But then, this isn’t really his brother, is it. Not the version he knows, at least.

Donnie has no idea what is usual for him any more.

“That’s different.”

“How, Raph, how is that any different.”

“Because I’m the older brother. Its my-”

“Don’t you dare say its your job.”

The situation is escalating so quickly and Donnie has no idea what to do. He feels Mikey shift behind him and Donnie reaches back to stop him. He doesn’t think Dr. Delicate Touch or Dr. Feelings would be of much help in this situation.

“But it is!” Raph yells. “I’m the older brother, I will do anything to protect you.”

Leo let’s out a scream of pure frustration, he marches towards Raph and jabs a finger into his plastron.

“I will not let you sacrifice yourself for me again, Raphael!”

It is as if the air has been sucked out of the room. There are tears building in Leo’s eyes and he pants, breathless in anger. In contrast, the anger drains from Raph’s face, a horrified look taking its place. Donnie is sure that a similar one must be on his face.

“Again?”

Raph questions softly.

Leo blinks, seeming to come back to himself. His eyes go wide and the tears drip down his face.

“I don’t-” Leo chokes over his words. “I didn’t- I didn’t mean to say that.”

He takes a step back, hands clenching into fists as he presses them against his plastron.

“Leo, do I... Do I die in the future?”

Mikey is scrambling up Raph’s shell, hugging his brother as tightly as he can with trembling arms. His watery gaze locks on to Leo’s and he flinches. Leo looks at the floor, unable to maintain eye contact.

“Yes.” Leo admits, voice quite and full of sorrow. “Yes. You did.”

“Oh. Oh, Leo, I’m sorry.”

Leo shakes his head, still unable to look at anyone.

Raph takes a hesitant step forward and when Leo doesn’t flinch or step away, he closes the gap and envelopes him in a crushing embrace, sinking to the floor as he does. Mikey scrambles down Raph’s shoulder, planting himself in Leo’s lap and rapping his arms around his brother as well. Both turn their watery gazes towards Donnie.

Donnie sighs, but gives in nonetheless.

He walks over to his brothers, squeezing himself in between Leo’s side and Raph’s arm.

Leo’s an idiot.

A selfish idiot.

He let his emotions get the better of him once more and Raph discovered his fate.

But he is tired and hurt, and the conversation with Leon is still fresh in his mind.

A conversation that he also regretted.

He had tried, really tried, to be patient with Leon but the conversation had been hitting too close to his insecurities and he had grown angry in response.

He knows that he hadn’t really been talking to Leon when he said those words.

But he could not stop himself.

Could not control himself.

It had been easier to place to blame on someone else, then bare its heavy burden alone.

And then his brothers had arrived, and the anger had still been bubbling under the surface, ready to explode once again. So, when Raph had come charging at him, he hadn’t been able to stop himself. He knows that Raph must have been feeling similar things, that all his worry and fear had turned into anger, but he had continued on regardless.

It had been slightly cathartic in a way.

All the words he had wanted to say to the brother who had sacrificed himself had come spilling out.

And now he doesn’t know what to feel.

“I promise I won’t sacrifice myself for you, if you promise not to do the same for me.” Raph eventually says and Leo knows, deep down, that Raph will never be able to keep that promise.

But the words are comforting, regardless.

“I promise.” He says in return, knowing that he, too, doesn’t mean it.

He can feel the burning jealousy of Leon within his mind.

A small part of him still feels vindictively smug about that. Because why shouldn’t he have this moment. Why shouldn’t he get some time with his brothers. After everything he’s been through, after everything that he’s suffered. Doesn’t he deserve this.

He doesn’t. Deep down he knows he doesn’t. Not really. After all, it is his fault to begin with. He’s the reason his own brothers aren’t here to comfort him anymore.

And as he sits in the warm embrace of his family, he suddenly feels so incredibly lonely. 

Because that’s it, isn’t it.

This isn’t really his family. His brothers.

The brothers that he grew with, who he battled through an apocalypse with.

They were dead and would never really exist again, would they? Because he was actively trying to prevent the timeline that would make them who they were.

And here he is, stealing someone else’s.

He sighs, feeling drained and exhausted, and leans into the hug, stifling back his tears as he does.

He closes his eyes, and pretends that he isn’t being hugged by strangers.

Chapter Text

“We should probably head back to the lair.” Leo says, voice slightly muffled from being crushed against his brothers.

“It’s not safe here.”

He makes a good point, the brothers agree with reluctance, untangling themselves from each other. Leo moves to push himself to his feet but Raph grabs hold of him and lifts him into his arms instead.

Leo struggles for a moment.

“Put me down, Raph.” He says, but he doesn’t sound too annoyed.

“Absolutely not.” Raph responds, tightening his grip. “You’re injured.”

“I’m fine.”

The three brothers turn their disbelieving gazes towards their time-displaced brother. Leo falters.

“Okay, I’m not uninjured.” He finally admits reluctantly. “But I can walk. I don’t need to be carried.”

“I don’t believe you.” Raph retorts and starts walking.

Mikey clambers up Raph’s shell, wanting to be carried as well, and wanting to stay as close to Raph as he possibly can. Leo’s words still ringing in his head. Raph pauses for a second to allow him to get a good grip. He looks back at Donnie.

“You wanna lift as well, Don?”

Donnie pauses, considering, before he shakes his head. Mikey guesses that he must have had enough physical contact for now.

Raph nods and starts walking again. Mikey peers over Raph’s shoulder and looks down at Leo.

Leo groans, pressing his fists against his eyes.

“This is so embarrassing.”

“Its not embarrassing to be carried by your older brother.”

“It is when you’re almost forty years old.”

Raph stumbles to a halt, and Mikey almost loses his grip. Donnie walks into the back of Raph.

“You’re almost forty!?”

Leo stares up at him for a moment before a familiar amused expression crosses his face.

“I know, I look good for an almost forty-year-old, don’t I.” Leo jokes.

Mikey relaxes slightly. This Leo had been so different, but to hear him joking again, to see the tense look on his face falter for even just a second, bring Mikey a lot of relief.

It is good to see that not everything has changed.

“Sorry.” Raph says as he starts walking again. “I know you’re from the future, I just wasn’t expecting that far in the future.”

Mikey leans further over Raph’s shoulder.

“Did you really live through an apocalypse for twenty years?”

“Yeah... Yeah I did.”

There’s a silence as they think about what that really means. Mikey gazes down at Leo. It’s no wonder that his older brother is so different really.

“What was it like?” He asks, without really meaning to.

Leo’s gaze snaps up to him, obviously startled by the question. And why wouldn’t he be? Mikey goes to take the question back but Leo opens his mouth to talk.

“It was hard. It was the apocalypse, of course it wasn’t easy.” He says, hesitantly. “Spending everyday wondering if you’ll make it to the next.”

The atmosphere is heavy and thick. Mikey feels like he could cut through it with a knife. He cannot see Raph or Donnie’s expressions, he doesn’t know if he wants to, he’s sure they must be feeling as horrified as he is. Leo jolts, like he’s coming back to himself, as if he had been stuck in his memories before that. He looks up at Raph and then looks Mikey in the eyes. Leo draws into a sharp breath.

“But, I mean, it wasn’t all bad, y’know. There are moments and memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I...”

Leo pauses, looking distraught. “I miss it.” He finally admits. “Isn’t that messed up? But I miss it...”

He trails off, eyes moving to stare into the tunnel ahead with a wistful and vacant expression. When he speaks next, his voice is quiet, as if he never meant to speak the words aloud.

“I miss them.”

Mikey doesn’t need to know who ‘them’ is. He can guess, when Leo refuses to look at them in the eyes. That he must miss the brothers who he accidentally left behind, and miss the brother who sacrificed everything for him. And suddenly Mikey can see it. See the exhaustion within Leo’s eyes, the weariness that cloaks him. It is as if he can clearly see the forty-year-old turtle instead of the teenage one.

Mikey winces, it’s obvious that he’s hit a sore subject.

The group falls into silence against. None of them knowing how to break the silence, or even wanting to.

“How-” Raph is the first to speak, choking on his words slightly as everyone turns to look at him. The words echo loudly within the sewer tunnels, sounding even louder against the stark silence. Mikey sees Leo flinch slightly. Raph clears his throat and tries again.

“How long have I been-”

“I’m not gonna answer that question, Raph.” Leo cuts in, voice sharper then Mikey has ever heard it.

Mikey holds on tighter to Raph’s shell.

“Why not? Shouldn’t I know so I can look out for it?”

“No.”

“Leo...”

“You don’t need to know, Raph, because I am not going to let it happen.”

“But-”

“Raph.” Leo cuts in again, but his voice is much softer this time. He wiggles slightly and frees his arm which – up until this point – had been trapped against his side. Leo uses the now free hand and taps it – slightly awkwardly – against Raph’s plastron.

“I know it’s scary to know something like that and I’m sorry, I should never have told you.”

Leo looks up to stare Raph in the eyes and Mikey suddenly feels like he’s intruding on a very personal moment between the two of them. But the words and comforting to him as well, so he doesn’t feel too bad as he continues to listen.

“But, please, trust me when I say that it will not happen this time.”

Leo’s voice is reassuring in a way that only an adults can be, and Mikey finds himself calming instantly. It’s slightly jarring for that type of tone to come out of Leo’s mouth of all places, but it suits him, Mikey thinks. He can feel as the fight drains out of his oldest brother, and he sighs in relief.

“Okay, Leo.” He eventually says. “I trust you.”

Leo nods, satisfied. “Thank you.”

They lapse into silence again.

“And, in the absolute worst-case scenario, Leon knows what to look out for.”

Raph stumbles again, almost dropping Leo, who winces as the movement jolts his wounds.

“What?”

“What does that mean?”

“Leon?”

Three of them ask at once, Donnie shoving past Raph so he can actually look at Leo. Leo looks startled between them, clearly unsure what question to answer first.

“Leon is your version of me... or – uh – past me. We’ve been sharing memories... apparently.”

“And you showed him that?” Raph asks, sounding horrified and Mikey cannot blame him.

“Not intentionally.”

“Interesting...” Donnie muses and begins rambling, asking rapid-fire questions that none of them stand a chance of keeping up with.

“That’s why the mission failed.” Leo admits, when Donnie finishes rambling. (Mikey wonders if he purposely avoided answering any of Donnie’s questions.) But, that’s another difference, Mikey thinks. His Leo would have interrupted Donnie long before he could finish rambling. 

“Because Leon reacted to seeing what he did and his emotions transferred to me. I think.”

And Mikey doesn’t know how to take that, but an icy pit forms in his stomach at the thought of it. He also can’t quite read the emotion in Leo’s voice. He sounds like he’s trying to be sympathetic but there’s a harshness to his tone that makes Mikey think he isn’t being completely sincere.  But Mikey doesn’t really want to dwell on that, he’s feeling too many emotions currently to really be able to focus on someone else’s.

“So, Leo – or Leon, I guess – is awake then?”

Leo nods.

“Yeah. He is.”

“Can we talk to him?” Mikey asks, hesitant.

As much as he mocks Leo, as much as he makes fun of him and his personality, Mikey really does miss his brother. Sure, there’s a version of him here but it’s different, isn’t it. This isn’t the Leo he’s used to. The Leo who jokes around and never takes things seriously. This Leo is so serious in contrast, with a harshness and a single-minded focus that Mikey isn’t sure he likes. He remembers growing confused and perhaps a bit irritated towards Leo over the past few months. When his brother had refused to take being leader seriously, instead joking around and taking every possible moment to try and annoy Raph. Refusing to be the leader they all knew he could be.

‘When are you going to grow up and start acting like a hero?’ Mikey remembers Raph asking. And if this is Leo grown up... If this is Leo being a hero then... He clenches a hand around one of Raph’s spikes. He doesn’t want to finish his sentence. Doesn’t really know how to finish his sentence.

“I can tell you what he’s saying, if you like?”

Mikey nods and looks Leo in the eyes, wondering just how much his brother can see. He opens his mouth, struggling to think of a question, but Raph beats him to it.

“How are you doing, Leo? Or, um, Leon?”

“He says he’s fine.”

“We both know that’s a lie, Leon.”

Leo laughs.

“He says to trust him, and that he can handle it.”

It’s really nice, talking to Leon again. Just knowing that he’s doing okay – or is okay enough to lie about it – soothes a part of him that Mikey didn’t even know needed soothing. But it isn’t the same, not really. And, as reassuring as it is, it also makes it hurt more. Makes it startlingly clear that there’s a barrier separating them.

He’s never been away from one of his brothers for so long, and he can’t even imagine how this must feel for Leon.

There are so many questions that Mikey wants to ask, that he knows Raph and Donnie want to ask. But they keep the topic light and try not to get too deep into things. This is the first time they’ve talked to Leon in a while, after all.

Throughout the conversation, Leo had obviously been struggling to stay awake. Honestly, Mikey is surprised that he lasted as long as he did. He doesn’t know how Leo managed to survive against the Krang alone or how he managed to escape, but he is positive that it must have taken every ounce of strength he had. Leo isn’t injured too badly but the injuries must have been taking their toll as well.

He wants to be selfish, wants to keep talking to Leon but he knows that it wouldn’t be fair.

Some small part of him is bitter towards this version of his brother. He’s angry at him for taking his brother away. But he knows that isn’t fair. That Leo didn’t ask for this either.

He wonders what it must be like, to be trapped in a time you thought was long behind you, and his sympathy wins out.

“Take a break, Leo.”

Leo looks up at him with surprise and shakes his head.

“I can’t.” He protests. “It’s not safe. I need to-”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Raph soothes. “We’ll be okay.”

“We’re not going anywhere.” Mikey adds softly.

Leo tries to fight the pull of sleep, very obviously tries. But his exhaustion must be too much in the end, as he eventually drifts off into what Mikey hopes is a peaceful sleep.

The three brothers remain quiet as they continue on. It is only when Mikey notices Leo’s breathing even out, that he finally talks.

“He’s so different...”

“Well, he is from over twenty years in the future.” Donnie responds, voice flat.

“I know, I know, I just- I thought... that we’d stay the same forever, y’know.”

He can’t quite articulate what it is that he’s trying to say. He knows that it’s naive to hope that they’ll always be the same, that nothing will ever change. But... But he can’t help hoping for it.

Leo is so different. And its not necessarily bad different, there’s a lot that Mikey likes about this version of Leo. And there’s a lot that just the same as well. But the change is startling, and hard to comprehend.

Mikey has always prided himself on being the emotions guy.

The one who had the most awareness of his – and others – feelings.

But, for once, he doesn’t really know what to think or how to feel.

He presses himself tightly against Raph, trying to hug him as much as he can. He wishes that Donnie was next to him as well, so he could hug him too. He’s suddenly feeling very drained and emotionally spent, but he knows that things are far from over. He scared; he finally admits to himself. Terrified of what the future may hold, of who they might become.

Of what happens next.

And of what might happen if they fail tonight.

“I miss Leo. Our Leo.” Is all he can say.

“Me too.” Raph admits, clutching Leo tightly within his arms. Donnie moves so he is almost touching Raph as he walks. “Me too.”

More asleep than awake, but conscious enough, Leo’s listens as Mikey, Raph, and Donnie talk amongst themselves with a heavy heart. He didn’t mean to overhear their conversation, but sleep had never come easy to him, and he had gotten good at pretending to sleep to prevent people from worrying about him.

‘Thank you.’ Leon’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts. ‘For letting me talk to them. You didn’t have to do that.’

He would shake his head if he could.

‘You don’t have to thank me. I know what its like to miss your brothers, I wouldn’t take that from you.’

He can feel the disbelief radiating from his younger self. It should hurt, that Leo believes him capable of being cruel, but that’s exactly what he’s been, he finally realises.

‘I don’t hate you…’ He admits, but he still doesn’t know if he means the words or not. ‘It’s just- it’s complicated.’

He can tell that Leon wants to ask more, but he refrains, and Leo can only feel relief.

‘I’m sorry.’ He thinks to himself, not wanting Leon to hear the words. ‘For doing this to you.’

He’ll say them out loud when he knows he really, truly, believes them.

Chapter Text

He’s filled with a strange sort of numb acceptance the second time it happens.

He’s horrified, of course he is, but after Raph... after Raph’s death he had sort of expected it to happen again. Especially as the war continued to rage on. Though if he’s being honest, he would have assumed that he’d be the next.

It was what he deserved after all.

But here he is, watching in numb horror as another brother sacrifices himself.

The world around him is muted and silent. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion. The ground shakes, people scream, but he only has eyes for one person.

(He’s helpless once again, forced to do nothing but watch the unfolding events.)

Then everything snaps back into focus, the world comes to life in a wash of sounds. Numb horror replaced with indescribable terror.

He screams, sprinting forward.

(Please. Please no. Not him too.)

He crashes to his knees, certain they’re now scraped and bleeding, but he doesn’t care.

“Please, no, please.”

He shoves rubble and debris aside with frantic desperation. He strains against the larger pieces but cannot move them.

He falls limp. He knows there’s nothing he can do. And even if he can, he knows there’s no surviving this.

He grabs hold of a limp hand – one of the only things he can hold- and squeezes as tightly as he can. The hand weakly squeezes back.

He gasps, pressing both the hand and his against his plastron.

Hazy eyes stare up at him, struggling to stay open. He places his free hand onto a scaled head, hating that he cannot feel it.

“I’m sorry.” He cries, tears falling uncontrollably.

His brother laughs, breathless and weak.

“Dumb dumb. You- you have nothing to apologise for.”

His breaths grow ever shallower.

“But-”

“Nothing.” He interrupts, voice firm despite everything.

He wants to protest, wants to argue, but he knows their time is growing short. So, he clutches the hand tighter, and waits, providing what little comfort he can.

The hand in his grasp falls limp.

He wants to sob and fall apart but he is completely numb once more. Carefully, he picks up the dusty purple mask and clutches it so tightly that he creates crescent marks in his skin.

He wishes that he truly believed his brothers last words.

(The sombre play ends with the fall of the curtains once more.

The puppet strings are cut.

He cries out into the inky darkness.

And is shocked when a comforting voice replies back.)

It is a relief when they finally arrive back at the lair.

Raph’s arms are starting to ache from carrying Leo the whole way, and he sighs in relief as he gently places him down onto an empty sofa. He shakes his arms, trying to get the feeling back into them.

April, Splinter, and Casey burst into the room, obviously having heard them arrive. Casey runs the fastest and drops to his knees next to the sofa.

“Sensei!”

His eyes frantically scan Leo for any serious injuries. He looks up at Raph.

“Is he okay?”

“He’s mostly fine.” Donnie interrupts. “We’re okay, too, thanks for asking.” He snarks, and then keeps speaking before Casey can say anything.

“Mainly he’s just tired from being a dumb-dumb and fighting three Krang by himself.”

Casey sighs in relief but doesn’t stop staring at Leo.

“You need to stop being so reckless, Sensei.” He mutters as he rummages around in his pouch before pulling out a handful of medical supplies.

Raph is surprised by the weariness in his voice.

“He does this a lot?” He asks, watching as Casey begins to treat Leo’s wounds.

Casey pauses as Leo shifts in his sleep.

“Yeah.” He answers as he finishes bandaging Leo’s arm.

“He likes to make sure he’s the only one who’s ever really in serious danger.”

Casey pauses as he stares at the unconscious slider.

“But, y’know, he’s not the leader of the rebellion or the worlds greatest ninja for no reason. He makes it out okay... usually.”

He trying to sound casual, Raph can tell at least that much, but his words fall flat as if he’s trying to force himself to believe in the words. The last word is almost whispered, like he’s reluctant to admit it out loud.

Raph watches as Casey leans forward and opens one of Leo’s pouches. He reaches in and pulls out the very object that Leo had stayed behind for.

“See.” He says, the enthusiasm creeping back into his voice as he holds the key up for them all to see. “He always gets the job done.”

“Oh, wow, he actually escaped and got the key.”

Donnie takes the key from Casey. He places his goggles onto his eyes and examines the key with them on. He must not see anything as he lifts the googles back up with a disappointed expression.

April takes the key from him, examining it.

“So what do we do with it?”

She looks up.

“Destroy it?”

“That could work.” Donnie responds, he turns to look back at Casey. “Casey, you and Leo came back in time to get the key. Did he say anything about getting rid of it?”

Casey shakes his head. “He just told me to get it.”

“Sigh. Of course, he didn’t.” He crosses his arms and glares at Leo. “If the old man could get up and help, that would be great.”

“Donnie don’t be mean.” Raph chides. Donnie smirks up at him and doesn’t apologise. Raph sighs. He doesn’t have the energy to argue.

Splinter and April share a look.

“Splints and I can see if we can break it. You guys stay here and look after Leo.”

Raph goes to protest but Splinter interrupts.

“Rest, my boys.” He places a hand on a Raph’s leg. “You may have a long fight ahead of you so use this opportunity to build your strength.”

And Raph can’t argue that. Can’t argue against his dad. So he nods and lets the fight bleed out of him. He sees Donnie and Mikey relax too.

They watch in silence as the two leave the room.

Raph collapses to the floor and leans against the sofa. Donnie and Mikey join him. Casey stays next to Leo’s head.

“So...” Donnie says, breaking the silence and drawing out the word. “We were talking about future Leo earlier but now I’m curious about me. So how’s my future?” He asks, sliding over to lean on Casey. “Don’t let me down I’m expecting big things from me.”

Casey opens his mouth to answer but Donnie interrupts.

“How many Nobel prizes do I have?”

Casey looks mildly disturbed. Donnie presses a finger against his mouth.

“Wait, don’t tell me. I wanna be surprised.”

The expression melts into fondness as Donnie leans back against the sofa, arms behind his head, trying to act casual.

“Donnie, you were the most brilliant, innovative mind of all time.”

“I’m shocked, I am.” Donnie says, sounding completely unsurprised. “Go on, continue to meet my expectations.”

“What do I do in the future?” Mikey cuts in, eyes sparkling.

Casey eagerly answers him. “You are the most powerful mystic warrior the world has ever known.”

He shuffles over to Mikey and grabs hold of his hands.

“With those two hands, you sent me back in time. And you probably sent Master Leonardo back as well.”

Mikey stares at his hands in absolute awe.

“Wow!” He says, drawing out the word.

He wiggles his fingers before holding his arms out in front of him. He strains, obviously trying to activate his alleged powers. Raph watches with a fond smile on his face.

From what he’s heard, Raph is incredibly proud of who his brothers turn out to be. A genius inventor, a great mystic warrior, and a respected leader and powerful ninja.

But.

If he wasn’t any of those thing...

What would he have been?

What was left for him?

His eagerness from earlier evaporates. He’s suddenly terrified of the future. Of his future.

He is abruptly incredibly glad that Leo had refused his earlier question.

Uncomfortable with the conversation, he looks for anything to distract them and move the topic on. And Casey’s words from earlier register.

“Probably?”

Casey and his brothers look up at him in surprise.

“What?”

“You said Mikey probably sent Leo back in time.”

Casey blinks in surprise.

“We, uh, got separated. I was already in the portal by the time Sensei went back. I’m not entirely sure how he got here.”

“He couldn’t have followed after you?” Raph questions.

Casey shakes his head. “He could have but...” He trails off and doesn’t finish his sentence. His eyes are distant.

“It is weird that you ended up here in such vastly different ways.” Donnie muses.

They all turn to look from Casey to Leo, startling when Leo stares back at them, now fully awake.

He dreams of the past, or more specifically of one of the most horrific moments he lived through.

Of losing another brother.

His twin.

They say time heals all wounds, and in a way that’s true, but the wound still feels newly healed and easy to rip open.

It’s been years now since he lost Donnie but it still hurts, though perhaps not as much as it used to. But reliving it in his dreams is never a pleasant experience.

He hears a whimpering cry echo within his mind, and he knows what has happened almost immediately.

Leon has just seen exactly what he did.

And despite his conflicted feelings towards his younger self, he reaches out to comfort and sooth.

If he wants to do better, be better, towards his younger self then this is the place to start.

“Its okay.” He tries to reassure. “Its not going to happen again.”

He continues to comfort, whispering kind words to calm his younger self.

It works eventually, Leon’s panic slowly calming down.

“Donnie dies as well?” Leon asks, voice small and afraid.

“Yeah...”

Leon goes silent and Leo doesn’t know what to do. He’s hardly able to think about his own emotions, let alone someone else’s. Even if they are technically the same person.  

He really hopes Leon doesn’t ask about Mikey.

But it seems the conversation is over as Leon stays silent. So Leo leaves him to his thoughts and allows himself to drift back to sleep.

As he falls deeper into unconsciousness, he can begin to make out a flickering blue silhouette.

He knows almost immediately who it is.

He reaches a hand out but cannot get closer. It is as if there is a barrier separating them.

He hesitates, unsure of what to do.

Voices from outside start to register in his ears and the haze of sleep begins to fall away.

He doesn’t fight the pull of consciousness, too conflicted to do anything else.

The voices become clearer and louder.

He opens his eyes to a familiar ceiling.

And ignores the pit of guilt growing within him.

“-already in the portal by the time Sensei went back. I’m not entirely sure how he got here.” He hears Casey say.

It takes a moment for him to register what they’re talking about. He winces. So, it turns out that the situation in real life isn’t any less difficult than in his dream...  or subconscious. (He isn’t sure which is right.) And he isn’t sure which he’d rather face.

“He couldn’t have followed after you?”

“He could have but...” Casey’s sentence trails off and Leo knows what he must be thinking about.

“It is weird that you ended up here in such vastly different ways.”

Leo turns his head just as the occupants in the room turn to look at him. He tries not to visibly startle.

He needs to change the topic before they can ask any questions that he cannot or does not want to answer.

So he does what he does best and performs.

“How long have you been awake?” Raph asks, surprised.

“Not very long.” He tries to sound as tired as possible, trying to make them think he only just woke up and didn’t hear their conversation. He pushes himself up into sitting position.

“Sensei!” Casey gets to his feet and runs over to him, hands hovering worriedly. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Casey.” He smiles and ruffles his hair, pushing down gently so Casey will sit down next to him instead of hovering over him. “Thanks for taking care of those guys whilst I was out.”

“He did not.”

“I can take care of myself just fine!”

“If anything, we took care of him.”

His brothers protest and Leo laughs at their predictable response. They should be sufficiently distracted by now. He winks at Casey who laughs, looking in slight awe at them interacting.

It must be strange for him, Leo thinks, to see them all together and acting so differently.

Its slightly strange for him as well, having got used to how his brothers had changed (to not having Raph and then Donnie around, but he buries that thought). But despite it all, his brothers were still the same underneath. And he never forgot how to rile them up.

“How are you, Casey?”

Casey looks up at him with wide eyes.

“I’m fine, Sensei. Just- just a bit overwhelmed, I think.”

He pats Casey on the shoulder.

“That’s okay, we can soon sort that out.”

“Wow, you are such a dad.”

He startles, choking on his own spit, leaning over to cough to try and clear his airways.

He hears Casey and his brothers cry out in surprise.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” He waves a hand, dismissively. “Leon’s just being himself.”

“Thanks.” Leon preens.

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

“I know.”

“What did he say?” Mikey leans forward, both eager and curious.

Leo hates to let him down but... “Don’t worry about it.”

“But...”

“Its fine.” He dismisses.

He gets to his feet, satisfied when he doesn’t immediately fall over. Casey and his brothers stand up as well. He reaches into one of the pouches, freezing when he cannot feel the key.

“Where’s the-”

“Commander April and Splinter have it. They’re trying to find a way to break it.” Casey interrupts, having obviously seen his growing distress.

“We never managed to think of a way to break it.”

Casey looks disappointed and he hesitates.

“There’s still the issue of the Krang as well. I’m assuming you didn’t manage to defeat them.” Donnie adds.

Right, that’s true. How could he have forgotten.

There are too many thoughts running through his head.

Too many problems and not enough solutions.

And not enough time either.

The Krang will track them down eventually.

“Sorry guys.” April says, snapping him out of his thoughts as she and Splinter enter the room. “We tried everything but we can’t get the key to break.”

She notices that Leo is awake.

“Hey Leo.” She greets, tossing him the key. “Good to see you’re up. Got any future wisdom for us?”

“Thanks. And no. Sorry. We never managed to get hold of the key let alone figure out a way to break it.”

He stares at the object in his hand, at the object that caused so much loss and heartbreak.

He needs a solution. Something that will both stop the Krang and destroy the key. It seems like an impossible task, though. In all the years fighting against the Krang they had never managed to take them down.

Never managed to win against them.

So how could he change that now?

He looks down at the key once more.

They hadn’t had it in the future, had they.

A plan begins to form.

“I may have an idea.” He admits out loud. “But you probably won’t like it.”

“Go on.” Raph’s voice is hesitant and Leo doesn’t blame him.

He takes a deep breath and ready himself for the oncoming explosion.

“It involves taking the key to the Krang.”

Chapter Text

There’s an immediate eruption of noise at Leo’s statement. Leo winces slightly but otherwise doesn’t react, having obviously expected the reaction.

“Are you insane?”

“Honestly, probably.” Leo mutters, mostly under his breath. He then straightens up and his expression turns serious.

“I know it sounds stupid but-”

“That’s an understatement.” Donnie snarks and is promptly ignored.

“But they’ll track us down eventually and it can either be on our terms, or theirs.”

No one protests against that. They can’t really. Leo takes an audible deep breath.

“With the current ability level of you guys have, and with my whole, uh, situation.” He gestures vaguely at himself. “I don’t know if we can beat the Krang.”

Raph’s hands clench into fists. He knows that Leo is telling the truth but it stings slightly. They barely defeated the Shredder a few months ago and they hardly had any time to improve their skills. And it showed when they had struggled to survive against the Krang. It was clear that another confrontation would be difficult. Even if he doesn’t like admitting it.

“So, if we can find something to weaken them, and then get them back through the portal instead of full out fighting. …”

Leo pauses and rubs a hand against his temple.

“Which is where I’m admittedly stuck.”

They spend the next few minutes brainstorming. Trying to come up with a plan that will both weaken the Krang and allow them to send them back into their prison. Hopefully forever this time. Eventually April jolts, before she begins rummaging through her bag with an exited fervour. She holds up a little test tube filled soft a blue coloured liquid.

“Would a potentially dangerous mystery chemical work?”

“Oh!” Leo is staring at the vial with mix of hope and excitement on his face. “I remember this.”

He holds his hand out towards her, and April carefully gives it to him. Leo holds it up to his face, moving it around gently so the liquid inside sloshes against the sides.

“We had this at the beginning on the invasion. It was able to dissolve whatever it touched on the Krang.”

“And you didn’t think to mention that important fact.”

“We used it all very early on. We never managed to keep enough of it to study or replicate, so I guess I just… forgot about it.”

Leo gives hands to vial over to Donnie.

“Do you think you can do something with it?” He asks

“Scoff. Can I do something with it? Did you forget who you’re talking to.”

Leo gives Donnie a soft smile as Donnie launches into an extremely technical sounding explanation. Raph ends up confused after just one word

“So, to sum it up…” Leo says once Donnie’s speech comes to end. “We just need somewhere with lots of space and a good sprinkler system?”

Donnie sighs, sounding irritated. “Putting it simply, yes.”

“How about Metro Tower?” April suggests.

Donnie nods. “Yes, that could work.”

Raph catches Leo and Casey sharing a look out of the corner of his eye. And there’s the fear, back in full force. He really doesn’t like that look.

“What’s that look for?”

Leo’s gaze snaps to him, looking guilty at being caught.

“It’s just...” He pauses, shifting uncomfortably, obviously not knowing what to say.

Finally, it is Casey who speaks.

“There was a tale I was told as a child.”

He looks towards Leo who nods, face carefully blank. Casey straightens up, takes a deep breath, and when he speaks again his voice flat.

“And behold, from their perch atop New York City, the Krang ripped open the sky itself.”

He pauses, a horrified silence enveloping the room.

“What came out was terror, and what rained down upon us was worse than death.”

Raph feels a shudder run across his entire body. It feels as if the temperature in the room has plummeted rapidly. He knows that the future had to be bad but to hear it put so plainly.

“They told that to kids?” Mikey exclaims, breaking through the thick silence as he is often easily able to do. He leans back against the sofa, head sinking into his shell slightly. “Man, the future is harsh.”

Raph cannot help but agree silently, suddenly feeling even more desperate to succeed.

“There was no point in sugar-coating things for children.” Leo admits. “They had to live through it anyway.”

Raph knows he’s not the smartest of his brothers, but he understands clearly just what Casey’s tale is implying. ‘Their perch atop New York’ can only be referencing Metro Tower and the implications of that are terrifying.

“Are we just following some predetermined path? Does anything we do really matter?” He manages to ask. He hates that his voice wobbles with fear, but he cannot help himself.

Because if that’s true.

If they cannot change the future.

Then… what does that mean for him?

He meets Leo’s gaze, and his brother looks equally horrified. But before he can really dwell on it, Leo’s expression hardens, and he shakes his head.

“We’re not- That’s not what’s happening.”  

He wants to protest, wants to argue, but doing that means accepting the alternative. And he doesn’t know which is worse. So, he sighs, and relents.

“Okay.”

His siblings and Splinter are all staring at him as well. He ignores them.

Because what can they do anyway? If the future cannot be changed, then he will at least go out fighting.

The conversation slowly drifts back towards the plan, but there is an air of tension that will not disappear. And once they finally finish, Leo pauses, and takes a moment to look at all of them.

“Any final questions or suggestions?”

None of them can really against the the plan, it’s probably the best option that they have in the circumstances. But there’s one thing that’s stands out in Raph’s mind, one thing that sends alarm bells ringing inside his head. And, from the looks on all the other faces in the room, he’s not alone in thinking it.

“You’ll have to use yourself as bait.”

Leo gives him a look that Raph can’t quite read.

“It’s the only option.”

Raph exhales a harsh breath, feeling frustration creeping up.

“You know that’s not true. We promised no more sacrifices, Leo.”

Leo’s expression tightens and shuts off even more. He shifts, obviously uncomfortable. The rest of the room watches silently, watching the two like they’re all watching a weird tennis match. Raph wishes at least one of them would back him up.

“I know and I don’t plan on dying. I’ll be fine trust me.”

“But what if you get hurt?”

“Its not about me, Raph.”

Raph tenses at the familiar words. Words that he’s said over and over again at Leo over the past few months, now thrown back at him. And Leo had said them so carelessly, so casually that is it obvious that he says them often.

That he probably lives by them.

And it is everything he wanted.

He wanted Leo to step up, wanted him to take things more seriously, and wanted him to realise that things didn’t revolve around him.

But he doesn’t feel proud or even happy to hear those words.

He feels deeply uncomfortable. But he’s not entirely sure why.

Leo must take his silence as Raph giving in, as he turns to look at everyone else.

“Anyone else?”

No one has anything to say, and Leo nods and claps his hands together.

“Okay then. We leave in thirty.”

With that he turns around and heads out of the room with determination, not allowing any of them to protest.

Raph watches him go.

He doesn’t have the courage to chase after.

He hides in the kitchen as he waits for his family to get ready, knowing that there’s very little chance of anyone else entering.

He needs a moment to himself again. Needs a moment to prepare and calm himself.

Because he’s struggling again.

The fear keeps ringing in his head. The doubts keep creeping in. What if he fails them? What if things go wrong?

Dangerous missions were not unusual during the future, and he had reluctantly got used to sending himself and others on them. And so, he had been confident at first. Happy with the plan that he had managed to conjure up. But the more he talked, the more the doubts began to trickle in and the more he realised just what was at stake.

This was about to be incredibly dangerous. He was asking his family to risk their lives – lives he wanted to protect – and they were willing to go along with it.

So, the compromise had been to use himself as bait.

Because what else is he supposed to do?

He can’t let anyone else take his job and put themselves at risk.

He is overcome with fear and worry. He is suddenly doubting the plans that he used to have so much faith in.

Is it being in the past?

Is being here, looking like this again – no matter how hard he tries to hide it – bringing back old insecurities? Old doubts?

His hands clench tightly in the fabric of his scarf.

What if… What if he can’t change anything.

There’s a quiet noise, the sound of footsteps, and years of battle instincts has him snapping out of his messy thoughts. He looks up to see Splinter staring at him, hesitating in the threshold of the kitchen.

The two stare silently at one another.

He could refuse to acknowledge Splinter. He is sure that he will be left alone if he does. But a small part of him aches for the comfort only a father can give. For the perspective only a father can give.

But.

This isn’t really his father.

Does he really deserve a moment with him?

But...

“Am I doing the right thing?”

Splinter gives him a sympathetic look as he takes the final step into the room. He makes his way towards him.

“I don’t want them to be involved in this. I want them to stay safe.”

Splinter reaches him and places a hand on his knee.

“They can handle themselves.” He reassures.

“I know. I know. I just-”

He sighs, not really knowing how to explain himself. His conflicted emotions spiralling around inside his mind. He managed to appear confident in his plans, like he knew everything would be okay – and to some extent he really did believe in himself – but the worry is almost overwhelming.

He had never wanted to be a leader. He had despised the thought of it actually. But once he finally gave in, he took to the role like a duck to water. Or a turtle to water, he supposes. He had been strong, able to look past his worries to achieve the best possible outcome. He had faith in his abilities.

But slowly, he realises, after so many losses. After so many personal losses. His belief in himself had started to wain.

And here, now, with the young lives of his brothers, April, and Casey all riding almost solely on his shoulders... Well, it’s no wonder he is barely holding himself together.

He cannot bare to lose them again.

Cannot even think about losing Casey.

But he knows he has no choice but to expose them to danger in order to protect them from it.

“How do you do it?”

Splinter looks up at him in confusion.

“How do you let them go out and get into danger so easily?”

Spilnter’s gaze softens, and a smile crosses his face. Its not quite a sad smile, not quite a pitying one either, and something in it brings him a sense of calm. He had forgotten what it was like to have the warm gaze of his father upon him. Splinter pats his knee and sits down on the floor next to him, huffing with exertion as he does. He gazes forward, not towards Leo, but at the graffiti covered walls. After a second, Leo does the same.

“It is never easy. And never gets easier. But...” He trails off, and Leo waits silently for him to continue.

“But I learnt the hard way what happens when I don’t trust the capabilities of my children.”

He’s talking about the incident with Barry and the Foot Clan. Where Splinter had given up the last piece of the armour to save them when they did not need saving. Of course, it had all worked out in the end, and Splinter had not been wrong, per say, to try and save them... but had they all had more faith in each others abilities? Had they talked more? Well, who knows.

“So,” He continues “I decided to trust in my children and their abilities. And trust that they can make it through.”

There’s a brush of fur against his arm, and a hand rubs gently against it.

“Just like I decided to trust in your abilities as a leader. And it looks like I was not wrong to do so.”

He laughs but it sounds strangled and broken with barely choked back sobs.

If only Splinter knew.

He wants to break down and tell Splinter everything. Wants to bring the anger upon him. The anger that he deserves. But he restrains. This isn’t the time.

They all need a clear mind for what’s about to come.

“I probably don’t really look like a leader right now, do I? Like the person who led the rebellion.”

He’s trying to make it sound like a joke, trying to keep his voice light, but he knows that it falls flat. Knows that Splinter can see right through him. He stares intently at the wall in front of him, refusing to see Spilnter’s expression.

“Oh, my son, my little Blue.”

There’s a weight on his lap, gentle hands tilt his head downwards, and he has no choice but to look at the father he lost such a long time ago.

“You look like a wonderful leader.”

His dad’s eyes are watering and the expression on his face is so much kinder than he knows he deserves.

His dad leans forward and hugs him. And Leo cannot stop himself from hugging back. He clutches his hands tightly into Splinters clothes, and buries his face into soft fur.

“And I am so incredibly proud of you.”

He almost gives up at that, almost allows himself to believe the words. But the armour that he has built around himself is strong and hard to break. There are cracks - developed in the last few hours, started by his younger self - that allow something to squeeze through.

And although he cannot – or does not want to – believe them, the words settle into the cracks like a soothing balm. So he allows them to comfort him. To reassure him.

He takes a deep breath in and tries to relax.

Of course he can do this.

This won’t be like before, like the first time this happened.

He’s not who he appears to be on the outside. Not the messy, arrogant Leo who had caused this all in the first place.

Because he’s the one in charge now.

And he will not let another loss be tied to his name.

Of that, he really does believe in.

Raph leans against a desk as he watches Donnie work. Mikey sits perched upon the same desk, legs swinging back and forth, looking cheerful despite, well, everything. April sits on one of the labs more comfortable chairs, trying to look as casual as Mikey but she’s too tense to really do so.

He drums his fingers against the surface.

“Raph.” Donnie pushes his goggles up and turns to look at him. “If you can’t be quiet.”

He snaps his hand upwards and crosses his arms.

“Sorry.” He mutters and begins tapping his fingers against his skin instead. Donnie gives him a look but doesn’t complain further, he puts his goggles on again and turns back to his work.

The room falls into silence again.

There’s so much he wants to say, so much he’s sure they all want to say.

Words that he’s not sure that they will have a chance to say once it’s all over.

But words are hard, and he doesn’t want to spoil the last calm moment before the fight. And from the silence, he thinks his siblings are probably thinking the same.

So, as the minutes tick by and the unknown – or maybe the inevitable - looms ever closer, they bask in each other company and hope, with everything they have, that this will not be the last time they spend together.

He stands alone in the cold subway tunnels.

But the temperature, for once, doesn’t bother him.

Adrenaline courses through his veins, his hand trembles slightly, and he clenches them tightly against the small object within his hand.

His eyes meet the dead eyes of figure covered in pink.

He takes in a deep breath.

And waits.

It doesn’t take long before he hears movement, and the Krang appear from the darkness. He tenses for a second, lets all the fear and doubt wash over him, then takes a deep breath and clears his mind.

It is time to begin.

Not wasting anytime, he spins around and darts down the tunnel in a burst of speed. The concrete cracks behind him but he pays it no heed.

Don’t focus on that.

Focus on surviving.

He runs, dodging past obstacles and deadly limbs, barely managing to stay far enough ahead to stay out of danger.

And then, finally, the entrance to Metro Tower appears.

Once he’s inside the building, he turns around and waits.

The Krang are not far behind him, and he watches as they make their way up the stairs.

Leo tosses the key into the air and catches it again with his other hand.

The Krang moves towards him.

“Now hold on a second.” Leo says. “Are you sure I’m who you want to go after?”

Donnie, Raph, and Mikey appear behind him, each of them with their own key in hand.

The Krang snarls.

“I’ll just have to kill you all then.”

“Yeah.” Leo smirks, appearing confident despite the situation. The lights cut off, plunging the building into darkness.

When the emergency lights flicker on, Leo stands alone once more.

“Good luck with that.”

Chapter Text

There’s a moment of silence, of unnatural stillness.

Leo waits, desperate to move but knowing he must be patient. To let the enemy make the first move.

He can feel the nervousness of Leon pulsing within the back of his mind, but he stays quiet and Leo is extremely relived at that. He needs every ounce of focus that he can manage.

And then, finally, the krang reacts. The leader snarls, an expression of pure rage crossing his face.

“Get them!” He yells, gesturing towards the separate directions that his brothers left in. His eyes never straying from Leo. Leo stares back.

The two other krang follow his orders immediately. The female krang cackles, gleefully shouting about her excitement as she hurries off, and it takes every ounce of strength he has to not go chasing after. The smallest male krang goes a different direction, much more subdued, but no less determined.

They can handle it.

They can handle it.

He is alone with the leader krang. With the most dangerous krang.

He grins.

“Aw, what’s the matter?” He taunts at the krang’s enraged expression. “Mad that you got outsmarted by a little turtle?”

The krang growls but doesn’t move to attack. Instead, he straightens up and regards Leo with a calm and calculating expression.

“We shall see.”

He charges forward.

Mikey watches from the rafters as the sister krang walks underneath him.

“Where are you little turtle?” She questions. “Come out so I can fight you.”

Mikey shudders at her cheerful tone but remains silent as he watches her move. He knows he’s not the stealthiest of all his brothers, not often having the patience (or impulse control) to stay silent. But he knows just how important this it, how dangerous it is, and makes sure he stays focused.

The sister krang moves on, her voice fading into the distance as she calls and taunts, heading towards where he knows Casey, April, and Splinter lay in wait. He stays in the rafters for a few seconds longer, just to make sure, before he turns and starts heading back the way he came.

They had decided in the end, to split up the krang and fight three on one, using fake keys to draw them apart. (Although he had watched him make them, Mikey still has no clue how Donnie managed to create the replicas so quickly.) Then, as the fastest and smallest of the brothers – not including Leo – it was Mikey’s job to lead one of the krang towards the other group of three without getting caught before heading back towards his brothers to help them.

He reaches the main entrance, hesitating, before entering when he sees that the room is empty. There’s a large crack running down the stairs, but thankfully no sign of blood. He can hear the faint sounds of fighting in the distance.

He hopes that Leo is doing okay, and wants to go help, but knows that he must stick to their plan. That is, after all, the best and probably quickest way to help. So, he looks away from the noise and heads off in the direction he knows Raph and Donnie went.

The battle is in full swing by the time Mikey reaches Donnie and Raph.

Both are managing to hold their own against the smallest krang but Mikey can tell that’s its still a struggle. The krang attacks and Donnie and Raph dive out the way. Sensing an opportunity, Mikey drops down from the ceiling and slams his nunchucks down onto his head. The krang stumbles at the impact and Mikey uses the momentum to spring over to Donnie. He lands, skidding to a halt alongside him.

“Nice of you to join us Mikey.” Donnie snarks, half serious half relieved. Mikey simply gives him a thumbs up as the two join Raph in the battle.

It’s a little easier, Mikey thinks as he ducks under a limb, then fighting against the leader krang. Not to say that it isn’t difficult – it definitely is – but it’s certainly a bit less scary.

The krang attacks again and the three dodge once more but the limb catches the side of Donnie’s battle shell. The shell cracks slightly, sending a small scattering of sparks into the air, but the damage must not be too bad as Donnie manages to recover before he ends up head first into a wall.

“You good, Donnie!?” Raph yells.

“I’m good!” Comes Donnie’s slightly winded sounding response.

Mikey wants to check on him but knows that fighting the krang will take every ounce of concentration he has. He cannot afford even a second of distraction.

The krang snarls soundlessly, sharp teeth glinting in the light. His limbs dig into the concrete as he readies himself to charge.

Mikey twirls his nunchucks. He hears the distinctive sound of Donnie spinning his bo staff around.

“Okay then.” Raph says, rotating his sais and pointing them towards the enemy. “Lets get this plan going.”

As one they charge forward.

They still work extremely well together, dodging and weaving out of the krang’s reach. When they can, when it doesn’t seem too dangerous, one or multiple of them will go for the attack. But occasionally they stumble, expecting a fourth person in their group. They have often worked in pairs or by themselves but working as a group of three was throwing them off ever so slightly. They persevere, however, and Mikey could tell that the Krang is tiring.

He ignores the fact that they are tiring too.

Time for the next stage then.

“Mikey!” Raph calls, but Mikey is already on it.

He charges, almost recklessly, straight towards the Krang. When he sees him coming, the Krang tries to stab at him. Mikey ducks, just missing the deadly limb and feeling the air move as it stabs past. He slides under the limb, getting to his feet as quickly as he can when he reaches the opposite side.

“Raph!” He calls back.

He throws one of his nunchucks, making sure to keep a firm grip of the other end. The chain extends – not as much as it could have with his ninpo enhancing it but its enough – and Raph grabs hold of it. The two share a look and then they’re both moving again.

The Krang tries to attack but this time Mikey springs off the limb, keeping hold of his nunchuck and tangling the Krang even more. Raph, meanwhile, darts to the side where Mikey had previously been.

At this point, the Krang is completely tangled. Snarling, it strains against the chains but is unable to do much as Mikey and Raph pull in opposite directions. Whenever it tries to go after one of them, the other will yank on the chain, making the krang lose his balance and be unable to move.

They wait for a second, for Donnie to do his part.

“Donnie!” Raph yells when nothing immediately happens.

“I’m trying Raph!” Donnie responds, frantically tapping at his tech. “That hit must have done something!”

Mikey watches out of the corner of his eye as Donnie arm shakes with the force of his taps.

The krang is gaining ground now. Mikey can feel himself sliding, no matter how hard he digs his heels in. He can see that Raph is only fairing slightly better.

“C'mon. C'mon!” Donnie mutters to himself.

Mikey’s arms are shaking and straining against the force but he holds on, determined not to let go.

“Yes!” Donnie cheers triumphantly.

And finally, there’s a click, a hiss, and Raph and Mikey dive to the side as the sprinklers spring to life.

The krang jolts at the sudden release of tension. He turns towards them, snarling, before noticing their hasty retreat. He looks up, only to be hit in the face with a deluge of blue liquid.

The krang howls in pain, the first bit of noise they’ve heard him make. Mikey stares in absolute horror as the creature begins to – for lack of a better word – dissolve. Wherever it is touched by the blue liquid reacts like acid as been poured onto it, chunks of flesh dropping to the floor with sickening squishing sounds. The krang flails, dragging itself towards them on weakening limbs.

The three brothers watch, eyes wide and horrified. Mikey thinks he hears Donnie valiantly trying not to throw up. Mikey thinks he might join him.

And then, finally, with one last ear-piercing screech, the krang falls limp. His limbs hitting the ground with an echoing thud.

None of them had expected it to work so well.

After a moment to collect themselves, Donnie straightens himself up and claps his hands together.

“Well, that solves that.”

He turns and speed walks out of the room.

Mikey blinks in shock, still stuck to the spot as he stares in disgusted horror.

“What the heck was in that liquid!?” He eventually manages to blurt out.

“I don’t know Mikey. I don’t know.” Raph responds in equal horror, before patting him on the shoulder and turning to follow Donnie. Mikey takes a second longer before he, too, turns to leave.

Time to go help their brother.

The sister krang laughs as she spots them.

“You are not who I was looking for.” She says, not sounding too upset. She tilts her head, regarding them with a calculating expression.

“I guess you will have to do.”

This is a nightmare, Casey thinks, as he fights for his life. The sister krang is on a whole other level than her brothers and, although she doesn’t appear to be as strong as the leader, her bloodlust gives her an extra edge, an extra danger to the fight.

His grip tightens around his weapon. The constant buzzing providing a strange comfort.

He wishes that he could fight with his sensei, with someone who he knows. Its throwing him off having to fight with a Commander April who is so similar yet different. He cannot quite match the way she fights, cannot match Master Splinter either.

So he hovers on the edge of the fight, allowing the two to work together, and throwing in extra hits when he sees an opportunity.

They are not making much progress, however. The krang still not quite in the right position for them to get her with the sprinklers.

He doesn’t know what to do.

The krang is cackling as she chases them around the room, not staying still long enough for them to do anything.

What can they do?

What can they do?

“Hey, future boy!”

He jolts, turning instinctively at the sound of Commander April’s voice. She holds up a vial, gives him a moment to register it (he didn’t even know she had another vial), and then throws it at him.

It takes him a second to process, but he’s used to the commanders unexpected actions, and before he fully realises what he’s doing, he’s swinging his weaponised hockey stick like a bat.

It impacts the vial, luckily not breaking it and sends it flying into the krang’s face.

Or her eye, to be specific.

She wails out in pain as the liquid eats away at her eye, leaving a gaping hole in its absence. The krang holds her face as she shrieks in pain.

“What did you do to me?” She growls, panicked. Then the tone shifts from panic to rage. She turns to look at them with her one remaining eye.

“What did you do to my face?”

Casey knows that the fight is about to get a lot harder.

Leon is honestly surprised that Leo has lasted this long. Leo and the krang had fought their way through the empty building and Leo had successfully managed to keep the krang away from his siblings.

But his own – their own – safety had been compromised as a result and they had ended up in possibly the worse place.

On the roof.

With nowhere to hide, with no sprinklers to activate, this was about to be a difficult battle to win.

Leon hopes that Leo can succeed.

The leader krang is viscous, not holding back at all as he attacks with intent to kill.

And it is so incredibly difficult, being unable to help. To know that he is helpless as Leo fights, as his family fights.

He wants to do something, anything, to stop feeling so useless but the fear of distracting Leo is even more overwhelming. He doesn’t want to be the reason they fail. He doesn’t think that he can take that again. Or take the guilt and deserved anger that would follow.

So he stays silent.

Despite every instinct crying out for him to do something.

Anything.

His thoughts are circular, constantly looping between berating himself for being useless, and knowing that he can’t do anything.

He watches as Leo dodges another hit. Wincing at the thought of the pain that should exist, as a limb scrapes against his arm.

And that, he thinks, is one of the most disturbing parts. Knowing that he should be sore and aching but being unable to feel a single thing.

“Stop dodging you insolent whelp.” The Krang growls, as Leo keeps just out of range.

“I’m good.” Leo jokes back. “Don’t really fancy becoming a turtle kebab tonight.”

He sounds confident and cocky, but Leon can see the tremble in his arm as he holds his sword. Can vaguely feel the rapid breathing his older self is doing – though he feels none of the exhaustion.

He hopes, despite wanting them to be as far away as possible, that his brothers will get here soon.

He doesn’t know how long his future self will be able to hold out alone.

It is impressive though, in spite of the situation, to watch Leo fight. And to watch him fight without anything else to distract him. To get a first hand view of how the greatest ninja fights. He cannot help but be impressed.

There are many things that make him nervous about his future. The attitude, the bleakness, and so much more that he’s too afraid to really think about, but he hopes that he’ll be able to fight and hold his own just as well one day.

(Not that he’d tell Leo that of course.)

He jolts back to focus when he hears Leo make a noise and skid to a halt. Confused, he focuses on what Leo is looking at – not that he can look at much else – and notices that the krang has gone still.

He wants to asks what happened but he doesn’t want to distract Leo or bring his anger towards him.

So he sits back and watches.

Leo doesn’t say or do anything. Opting for caution as he waits for the krang to do something first.

Then the krang’s expression changes and Leon can see nothing but pure rage. He turns to stare Leo in the eyes.

“What did you do.” The krang says, voice low and dangerous. It isn’t a question, either. The krang knows the answer, he just wants Leo to say it.

Leon feels a chill travel down his spine.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Leo responds, voice light like he’s trying to joke but Leon can hear the weariness in it.

He knows they’ve both come to the same terrifying conclusion.

That, somehow, the krang knows what they’ve done to one or both of his siblings.

The krang’s eyes narrow, his pupils thinning to narrow strips. He looks like a predator, ready to attack its helpess prey.

In the face of this suddenly even more terrifying threat, Leon is abruptly glad he won’t be able to feel what’s about to come.

“Tell me.” The krang says, voice sickly sweet. “Do you think I’m a fool?”

Leo opens his mouth, and Leon knows himself well enough to know what’s about to happen.

“Well, I mean, I wouldn’t argue against it.”

But the krang doesn’t react like Leon expected. Instead of immediately attacking the krang simply continues to stare with that unnerving expression.

There’s a clattering of noise from the stairs.

The sound of footsteps.

“Did you really think.” The Krang snarls, drawing their attention back to him. “That you could win?”

The footsteps draw closer.

“Especially after what you just did.”

His brothers arrive at the top of the stairs, ready to fight, and unknowing of the developing situation.

The krang rears back and then slams his limbs into the solid ground. The concrete creaks as it is splits apart. A pink gooey substance bubbles up from beneath the surface, spreading rapidly across the roof.

Leon notices the moment Leo stills but he doesn’t know why.

Before anyone can do anything, before they even have a second to fight back, a more solid black goo shoots up from underneath his brothers’ feet. They try to dodge, try to fight, but there is truly nothing they can do and they are all ensnared within its inescapable grasp.

Leo doesn’t move.

The krang smiles at him.

“An eye for an eye, turtle.” The grin stretches further than Leon thought possible.

The feeling of horror is inescapable.

But he tries. With every ounce of strength he possesses, Leon tries to fight. To scream, to move when Leo will not.

The krang’s voice is still calm and chilling. The is no obvious rage but Leon can still sense it.

“A brother for a brother.”

Finally, Leo reacts.

He charges forward, heedless of the danger.

And Leon – because he cannot do anything, cannot physically panic – sees the situation for what it is.

A trap.

He tries to warn Leo.

Tries to gain even an ounce of control to prevent the oncoming disaster.

But he is being shoved further into his cage. Into his restraints.

His voice abruptly falling silent.

And he knows – or hopes – that Leo doesn’t mean to push him back, to ignore him, that he is too panicked to think rationally. But it stings nonetheless.

And then the krang has his throat in an iron grip. Leo chokes, hands clawing uselessly against the restraining limb.

“You cannot win.”

The grip around his throat tightens, cutting off his airways further. Though Leon can feel none of it, he knows it must be excruciatingly painful.

His brothers are screaming, yelling his name, struggling against their bonds, but ultimately unable to do anything. The krang reaches into his pouch and withdraws the key. He notices, distantly, that his brothers’ keys are grabbed as well.

The fake keys shatter into pieces as they are squeezed tightly.

“You are defeated.”

The krang walks towards the edge of the building, away from his brothers.

He’s being held over the edge of a sheer drop. He cannot feel it but he knows the wind must be buffeting against him, the cold biting against his skin.

His legs kick uselessly.

This may be one of the worst things that Leon has ever experienced. He knows what’s about to happen.

But he also knows that he cannot do anything.

He cannot look down or fight.

He can only wait for the inevitable.

“You. Have. Lost.”

And then he is falling.

Chapter Text

“-which one will you choose?”

He’s hanging over the edge of a drop, the vine clutching his mask tails being the only thing preventing his potential demise.

(The only thing stopping him is a tight grip around his throat.)

“Give him the bugs, just give him the bugs.” He yells, flailing around wildly. And, okay, maybe he’s being dramatic because surely Raph wouldn’t let him drop.

Right?

“I’m not giving him the bugs.” Raph says back and he feels his heart sink.

Surely he’s joking? His brother wouldn’t just let him die?

“These villains are all talk. He ain’t gonna-”

“Okay.”

(“You. Have. Lost.”)

And then he gets dropped.

(He’s falling.)

He distantly hears Raph yell out in panic.

(All of his brothers scream his name.)

“With my last breath I told you so!” Again, he knows he’s being dramatic but he’ll either have the last laugh or – the more likely option – Raph’ll save him.

Raph always saves him.

(A broken carapace. A figure ensnared and trapped.)

He continues to plummet but its okay Raph is coming. He waits for a blinding flash of red.

(The wind rushes past him, his fall uninterrupted because-)

Raph will catch him.

(Raph can’t catch him.)

Because.

(Raph is dead. No, that’s not quite right but...)

Leo snaps his eyes open with a loud shuddering gasp. The past and present fading into one. Into the terrifying reality.

He can hear Leon in the back of his mind, hear his panicked and fast breathing and has a moment to briefly think ‘did I see what he’s seeing?’

He’s falling, not by Baron Draxum’s hand but because of the krang. Because he couldn’t control himself again.

The moment he had seen the pink corruption taking over everything, his mind had just gone blank and the fear had taken over.

This can’t be happening, he had thought, limbs trembling and only able to see a horrific future.

The krang had taunted him, Leon had been yelling.

But it was all just noise that he couldn’t understand.

“A brother for a brother.”

And that had finally got through.

He had charged forward as Leon continued to shout. And maybe he should have listened, should have stopped and thought for even a second but the fear of losing his brothers again had taken over everything.

He had made a stupid mistake.

And here he was.

Falling from the roof of a building.

(Again.)

With his brothers in danger.

And no way of saving himself.

Raph isn’t dead, his brothers aren’t dead but they will be soon if he doesn’t get himself together, if he doesn’t die first.

But he doesn’t know what to do.

Everything he tried had failed.

So why bother struggling if nothing will ever change?

He closes his eyes, soothing the stinging that he tells himself is just the bitter wind, and waits.

He’s weightless, falling through the sky with no way to stop himself.

But strangely, suddenly, he’s calm.

It’s like all of the adrenaline that has been coursing through him for the past few hours just fades.

His mind is suddenly clear.

And the world fades to black.

.

..

...

“Tell me.”

Leo’s eyes snap open.

“Why didn’t you listen to me?”

He looks down.

Leon stares up at him angry and unafraid.

A cracked glass wall separates them.

Numbly, he stares down at his hands. They’re no longer the small and unscarred hands of his younger self but the familiar large ones he was used to. One metal, one flesh.

He clenches them together.

“Hey, I asked you a question.”

He looks back up at his younger self, at Leon.

“I- I don’t know.”

Is all he can say. And that’s the truth, sort of. He had been so blinded by fear that he hadn’t thought of anything else, had shoved every distraction to the back of his mind. And maybe he still didn’t really trust his younger self.

But really his feelings are complicated and a mess so he just settles for:

“I don’t know.”

Leon looks distinctly unimpressed.

“You got us tossed off a building and you don’t even know why.”

And, ah, there’s the creeping sense of anger. He scoffs.

“Like you could have done any better.” The words are bitter and mean but he’s long past caring.

Leon makes an irritated sounding noise and throws his hands up in an annoyed gesture.

“Maybe I could have!” He glares at Leo. “You don’t know that.”

He stops.

“Maybe I don’t but...” He grits his teeth and shifts his stance. “I’m not willing to risk that.”

“Risk what? That I’ll fail? Like you did.”

Leon’s words stab into him. The anger rumbles in the distance like a brewing storm. He allows it to swallow him in its wake.

“I didn’t fail.” He grinds out.

“You don’t get to say that after you just gave up.”

He bangs his metal fist against the glass, it wobbles but doesn’t crack.

“I didn’t give up.” He growls, eyes narrowed and teeth bared.

Leon flinches back, the anger disappearing.

“I struggle, and struggle, and nothing seems to change.” Leo snarls.

He’s frustrated and angry and so incredibly tired. He wants this to be over. He thought it had been over. But here he is, back where it all started or ended, and nothing has changed.

The krang are still here.

His brothers are still in danger.

And he keeps. making it. worse.

He isn’t supposed to be this anymore. He’s grown. He’s better. He led a resistance through the apocalypse.

But you failed, some tiny part of him snarls, everyone died and like a coward you ran.

“So don’t you dare say I gave up.”

They’ve reached a stalemate. Both too stubborn, too angry, to back down. No matter how hard they both try to deny it, they are the same person after all.

“I just...”

(Raph slams into the ground with a loud, earth-shaking thud.

Serval objects and mutants go flying. They both notice at the same time. Raph leaps into the air, arm stretched out and ready to grab.

“I got it!”

He scoffs, staring up at the object, and swords prepared.

“With those clumsy hands? No, I got this one.”

He opens a portal and the object goes flying through.

But.

So does Raph’s projection.

And the key goes skittering across the ground, untouched when they could have easily had it.)

Leon jumps as he is forced to see Leo’s memories. Forced to see a past that did not happen, that could have happened.

“I just keep ruining things and messing them up.”

The silence envelopes them.

“That’s not true.” His younger self eventually says. “You did everything you could. And you made up for it.”

And he’s seen so much that, objectively, Leo knows that Leon’s words are truthful. They should be comforting, and part of them are, but coming from his younger self, just makes them hurt even more.

He cannot take it anymore.

The dam breaks.

“How dare you say that.” He snarls. All the resentment towards his younger self bubbles to the surface. He cannot hold back anymore.

He doesn’t want to hold back anymore.

“After everything I – you did. After every selfish action you took. Just so you could avoid taking responsibility for once?”

There’s another flash of an image.

(Mikey turns back to face him, a soft look on his face and he feels his heart sink.

This is it.

Mikey winks and he looks his brother in the eyes for what he knows will be the last time. And then, finally, Mikey turns round, and in one last brilliant flash of gold, his little brother – and only brother left – vanishes into sparks of sunlight.)

Leon shudders, pressing his hands to his head as he is forced to watch.

Leo hesitates slightly. He hadn’t meant to do that, hadn’t meant to show him that but he cannot calm down.

(There’s a red light shining down on him. He squints into it, determined to see what’s about to come.

He fights, knowing his time is up but unwilling to go out with anything less than a bang.

There’s a sound in the distance, an indescribable pain, and then it is over.)

Leo snarls “This is what happens when you don’t take things seriously. When you get cocky and arrogant.” 

If he can just make him understand.

Make Leon understand.

Leon sucks in a breath.

“God your future sucks.”

His eye twitches.

“Are you making a joke? People got hurt and killed and you’re treating it like a joke?”

“A joke!?” Leon snaps, banging his fist against the wall between them. “Are you serious?” His breath is coming in harsh pants.

“How the hell else do you expect me to react? This is – this is too much.”

“Too much?” He growls. “Of course it’s too much!”

He gestures wildly.

“Your actions caused the apocalypse.”

He stands so he’s as close to the glass as he can be without touching it. He towers over his younger self, engulfing him in his shadow.

Leon takes a step back.

“And everyone dies.”

Leon’s eyes are watering at this point.

“Your brothers, Splinter, April, and everyone you ever allied with.”

He points towards Leon, finally admitting the words he’s been avoiding this entire time.

“Even you die. I died.”

Some small part of him is yelling at himself to stop. He knows he’s not talking to Leon, not really. But it’s like the glass is a mirror and all he can see is a reflection of himself.

He’s shouting all the things he’s been too scared to tell himself.

“Because you couldn’t stop being stupid and arrogant and selfish and–”

There’s a quiet cry and a sniff. He falters. The raging water slows into a trickle.

“And...”

He trails off, finally taking in the watery gaze of his younger self. And he finally, finally acknowledges what he’s been ignoring for so long.

“You’re so small.”

It comes out as barely a whisper, all of his anger gone. An emptiness left in its wake. He falls to his knees. He looks up and looks Leon directly in the eyes.

The glass cracks.

“You’re so young.”

Tears are streaming down his face. Down their faces.

And he finally sees him for what he is. For what he was.

A scared child, thrust into a role he did not want. Who just simply made one innocent mistake.

And the sudden realisation is overwhelming to say the least.

All his actions and anger were stupid and wrong.

He messed up, didn’t he?

Completely and utterly fucked up.

He thinks of the key and the krang. And of every mistake he made.

The moment that started it all.

And every time he messed up here in the past, when he thought it would be easy.

But maybe that’s the point? If he, with all his knowledge and experience, could not win this fight, could not hope to even stand a chance, then...

The crack in the glass grows.

He has a choice, a decision to make, but he doesn’t even take a second to think.

He knows what he will choose.

He pushes himself to his feet, leaning heavily against the glass as he does. Leon watches him move with a wary gaze.

He moves slightly away from the glass but keeps a hand resting against it.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Leon asks, voice small.

Leo doesn’t answer.

He takes a deep breath in and raises his fists into the air.

He breaths out.

Brings his hands down.

And the glass shatters.

It rains down in thousands of tiny shards that glisten as they drop. They fade into tiny sparks of blue and orange before disappearing into nothing. None of them touching the two turtles.

Leo stares and his gaze softens.

He reaches forward and pulls his younger self into a tight embrace. 

“I’m sorry.”

He’s doesn’t know who he’s talking to at this point... actually maybe that’s not true anymore. He’s apologising to Leon, for all the horrid and stupid things he said and did. For not being able to look past his own self-loathing and realise that they are two separate people.

That he isn’t looking into a broken mirror.

Or maybe he’s the one looking out of the broken mirror. He’s the corrupted reflection that’s staring out into a better world.

And although he feels like, after everything he’s done since he’s been back, he doesn’t deserve it, the apology is also just as much to himself. For the hatred he could never really let go of. For everything he put himself through in some misguided attempt at atonement.

Atonement that he never had to give.

“I’m so, so sorry.”

And he means the words with every fibre of his being.

Leon, after a moment of hesitation, hugs back, hands clutched tightly into his cape.

And as he stands there within the confines of his mind, clutching desperately at himself with tears streaming down his face, he feels the lightest he has in years.

Leon sniffs, rubbing the tears from his eyes. He takes a step back up looks up at Leo.

They both take a second to regard the other a with a fresh gaze.

Leon laughs softly, and Leo tilts his head, confused at the abrupt change.

“I’ve gotta admit, now that you’re not such a jerk, that I grow up to be pretty handsome.”

He pauses, looking Leo up and down again.

“And tall.”

Leo snorts and laughs.

“Pretty cool, right!?”  He says, tossing his mask tails over his shoulder and posing for his younger self.

This isn’t the end of it. No where near the end. He still has so much to make up for, so much to fix.

But it’s a start at least.

“Lets go save the world.” He grins, holding out his real hand.

Leon looks down at it.

“Together.”

They grasp hands.

(He finally stops falling into the endless abyss.

And lets go.)

Leon opens his eyes, feels the wind on his skin.

And laughs.

He’s back.

But.

That’s right.

He’s still falling.

There’s a flash of colour above him.

Chapter Text

Everything falls apart so much quicker than Raph thought possible. But here they are, trapped within seconds of reaching the roof.

Leo stays rooted to the stop looking scared and stunned as the Krang taunts him.

“A brother for a brother.” The Krang snarls and Leo’s eyes go wide. He charges forward recklessly, in a move that Raph would have expected more from Leon.

And then he is being held by the throat, completely trapped within the Krang’s grasp.

The Krang moves towards the edge of the building, taunting Leo as he does, and Raph knows what’s about to happen.

He tries to scream and shout but he is ignored.

And then Leo falls and Raph feels like he’s falling with him.

He isn’t of course. He’s stuck here, in the Krangs’s clutches, unable to do anything but watch as his brother drops.

“Leo!” He screams, trying to reach out a hand but he’s completely stuck.

He can hear Mikey and Donnie calling out as well, the terror clear in their voices.

The krang laughs, satisfied and proud, as he stands and watches Leo plummet.

How had this gone so wrong? How had they ended up like this? Trapped and helpless.

And utterly defeated.

But it couldn’t end this way.

Raph refuses to let it end this way.

He screams out in rage, struggling even more in his bonds. They grow tighter around him, digging painfully into his skin but he keeps pulling and straining.

“I am not going to sit here and let my brother die!”

Something sparks inside of him.

A flickering flame begins to burn anew.

Red light crackles along his skin.

There’s a flash of orange and purple from either side of him.

His brothers’ shouts join his own.

A spark of blue light brushes against his own but it is weak and distant.

Please, he begs, let me save him.

A spectral hand of multi-colour reaches out. The blue reaches back. Together they shove against the chains binding them.

And break free.

He’s scrambling to his feet the moment he touches solid ground, focusing only on one thing.

He darts towards the edge of the roof, dropping to his knees and searching desperately for the form of his brother.

He can just make out a familiar shape in the distance.

He doesn’t even think about his own safety. All his fears of the future fade into nothing.

His ninpo still isn’t quite working, he still doesn’t know what he’ll do next.

But he doesn’t care.

Leo is in danger.

And that is the only thing that matters.

He dives after.

He falls quicker than his smaller brother and so quickly gets close.

He reaches an arm out.

His ninpo crackles to life. It isn’t quite stable yet, and glitches as it reaches outwards.

But its enough.

Surely its enough.

Leo reaches back.

Raph grabs hold of Leo’s hand.

He jolts to a stop as something grabs hold of his foot. He looks up and sees Mikey. And holding onto him is Donnie, jetpack straining against the weight of all four brothers.

Leo looks up at him, eyes wide and watery. His arm is trembling within Raph’s grasp. Raph isn’t sure if it’s the strain or some other emotion that causes him to tremble but he holds on as tight as he can regardless.

“I’ve got you, little brother.”

Leo blinks up at him, and a small smile adorns his face.

“Yeah.” He says, voice soft, breathless, and slightly rough from being strangled but Raph can hear the underlying joy to it. Then the soft expression turns into something more familiar.

And some form of recognition sparks within him. He doesn’t know how he figures it out or why he almost immediately notices but he can tell that he isn’t talking to Leo anymore. And then Leon, for surely it must be him, opens his mouth and says:

“Nice of you to drop in.”

And, well, that just confirms it.

Raph cannot help but laugh. After a second Leon joins him. Both of them laughing with tears in their eyes as they dangle in mid-air.

“Hey, I’m sorry to interrupt this adorable bonding moment.” Comes a deadpan voice from above. “But I’m going to drop you.”

“Oh, right, sorry Donnie.”

There’s a pause.

“Can you pull us up?”

Donnie grunts, and Raph feels himself moving upwards slightly, before dropping back down slightly.

“That hit I took has damaged my battle shell. I can barely keep us in the air.”

That’s not so good. He should really come up with another plan but he’s never been too good at thinking with adrenaline coursing through him.

“Any ideas?”  He asks, looking down at Leon. Leon blinks up at him, looking surprised at being asked. He opens his mouth, closes it, and then a look of horror crosses his face.

“Donnie!”

Raph jolts at the unexpected shout, he tries look up as much as he can whilst upside-down and just manages to catch a glimpse of a tentacle ensnaring itself around Donnie, crushing the jetpack and sending sparks into the air. The jetpack splutters and dies out, and it is only the Krang’s limb that keeps them from dropping.

It travels downwards, trapping Mikey and Raph as well.

“Did you really think I’d let get away so easily?” The Krang sneers from above them.

The limb winds tightly around Raph’s arm, squeezing so hard that Raph fears his arm will break.

His grip loosens, his ninpo glitches, and Leon drops slightly.

“I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” He says, unsure if he’s reassuring Leon or himself. But he’s being squeezed tighter, the ooze covering more of him. He is struggling to breath at this point and he can hear the harsh breathing of Donnie and Mikey.

He doesn’t know what to do.

It’s obvious that the krang will not stop until Leo falls. But the longer he resists the more hurt his other brothers will become.

He’s stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Neither outcome is favourable. The choice is impossible to make. He’s the older brother, the protector, he should be better than this. He should be able to find a way out.

A way to save them all.

Leon looks up at him. He blinks, tilting his head as if he’s listening to something, and he then looks down. He takes a deep breath and looks back up.

“Raph.” He says voice strangely calm. “Let me go.”

Raph’s breath hitches. He feels sick.

“I can’t do that, Leon.”

His eyes begin to sting and he shakes his head. He can’t lose him. Not again.

“Trust me.” Leon says.

The limb squeezes tighter. He doesn’t really know what causes it in the end. He doesn’t know if its his arm being crushed or if he gives in, but either way his hand opens, his ninpo fades.

And Leon drops.

He can hear a low rumbling laugh, and the Krang pulls him up.

He should struggle and fight but he goes numb.

He’s failed.

The pieces of his ninpo that he’d managed to reclaim fade back into its prison.

For what good is it if he can’t save his younger brother.

The Krang cackles from behind him.

“You failed!” He shouts with glee. “Finally that pest is gone.”

He drags the three of them away from the edge of the roof. A disgusted look crosses his face.

“And good riddance.”

He is cocooned within the ooze and unable to move. He can see Donnie and Mikey receiving the same treatment in the corner of his vision and knows that he should try and fight back but all his determination has left him.

He is numb.

He knows that Leon told him to let go, that he must have had some sort of plan.

But it still feels like he failed regardless.

Because what if he didn’t?

With their ninpo not quite unlocked would he be able to save himself?

Did he have another plan?

He wants to trust his brother but all he can think is what if? What if? What if?

There’s so many doubts and fears swirling around in his mind that he cannot bring himself to fight.

So he waits, trapped and helpless, hoping that Leon will reappear.

And hoping that his trust was not misplaced.

This isn’t how Leon expected the reunion with his brothers to go.

For a brief moment he had relished in the joy of actually communicating with his brother and feeling the warmth of Raph’s flickering ninpo.

And he hadn’t been scared or worried. Because why would he be?

He was in control.

He had come to an understanding with Leo.

His brothers had saved him.

But then everything had gone wrong.

Again.

His brothers were being hurt because of him and there was nothing he could really do to help them.

“Your ninpo isn’t fully unlocked. You weren’t close enough for that.” Leo had then said. “But there should be enough to save yourself.”

It was a risk. But one he was willing to make.

Because he was so tired of sitting on the side-lines, watching helpless as those around him got hurt.

So here he was, falling once again but hopefully with a way to save himself this time.

He takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself. He flips himself so that he’s facing the rapidly approaching ground.

You can do this.

You can do this.

He swings his sword down. Nothing happens at first, his sword doesn’t even light up. He huffs in frustration and tries again.

“You can do it.” Leo states with full confidence.

And it suddenly feels like he has some extra strength, like there’s a hand guiding him forward.

So, he swings his sword down with renewed confidence and a crackling portal opens up beneath him. He falls through into a blue void.

This isn’t somewhere he ends up often. It is usually instant when he goes through a portal but sometimes, especially when he isn’t sure where he’s going, he’ll travel through this weird in-between space.

So it is not a complete surprise that he ended up here with his ninpo still not working.

He floats, waiting to be spat back out. Eventually the silence becomes overwhelming and his anxiety causes him to talk.

“What if I can’t do this?” He whispers, almost afraid to say the words too loudly.

Sure, he doubts himself sometimes but usually the confidence that he actually has in himself overrides all the negative thoughts.

Especially after defeating the shredder.

But here and now, after everything he has witnessed, after everything that had happened, his confidence is faltering.

And he cannot push past it.

“It doesn’t matter if you, alone, can’t do it.”

Leo says, voice wavering with some indescribable emotion.

“You have your team and together you can do anything. You are not alone in this.”

Leon can hear Leo take a deep breath despite not needing to.

“Don’t make the same mistakes as me.”

And he remembers the memories he had seen of an overconfident turtle disregarding his team and unintentionally causing the apocalypse.

“You can be better. Be the best of the both of us.”

And somehow it helps. The fear drains from him. It is still there of course, rumbling in the back of his mind and threatening to take over but he manages to push past it.

“You ready for this?” Leo asks.

Leon laughs.

“Absolutely not.”

The Krang moves away from them, towards the centre of the roof. A pedestal raises up from the ground and the Krang places the key down.

The world lights up in red.

Pink lightning crackles from the key, lighting the area up in a sickly glow. In the distance, New York City plunges into darkness as all the lights flicker and go out. Faintly, Raph can hear horns blaring and the murmur of confused voices echoing into the evening air.

The key surges with a pulse of lightning before a blinding beacon shoots up into the blood-red sky.

At the end of the beam of light, a dark portal starts to stretch open. It is no portal like Raph has ever seen.

His brother’s portals had never made him nervous, no matter how unreliable they had been. But this portal sends a shiver down Raph’s spine and something screams at him to run as far as possible. However, he stays trapped and defeated, staring up at the opening portal with horrified awe.

And then something begins to emerge. Creeping tendrils reach out, and close behind them is a large spherical object.

Raph can hear the ground shaking, and Metro Tower begins to wobble and sway.

And then things get weird.

Or, well, weirder. This entire situation has just been one weird thing after another.

Raph suddenly feels lighter and he can see objects floating in the distance. But before he can dwell too much on it a ramp descends from the spaceship – and Raph is assuming it’s a spaceship and is really trying not to freak out about that – and hits the roof with a thud.

The Krang begins to walk up the ramp, dragging the three brothers along with him.

Raph thinks he hears Donnie grumbling beside him but he’s too distracted taking in the change of scenery to really pay the words any attention. The inside of the ship is dark and gloomy and in the centre of the room, three metal armours hang, glinting red in the light. Raph, Donnie, and Mikey are left on the floor as the Krang puts on the armour.

Raph winces, hoping that things haven’t just been made a hundred times more difficult.

“Now then.” The Krang says, before turning to face Raph and his brothers. “What to do with you three.”

He moves closer, his armour clicking against the ground with each step.

“I thought about killing you.” He says and Raph feels himself being dragged into the air by his feet.

He is spun around so he is eye to eye with the Krang. He tries to wriggle to escape but he is completely stuck.

“But I think that death would be too kind for you.”

Raph feels something creeping down his face, towards his eye. He can hear Donnie and Mikey yelling and trying to escape but they, like him, can do nothing.

He cries out in pain at the sensation of something beginning to dig into his skin. His thoughts begin to turn to mush and all he can do his yell.

This is it; he thinks.

It’s over.

And then a flash of blue lightning stops them all in their tracks.

“What?” The Krang snarls, sounding confused and angry.

The sent of ozone fills the air, the feeling of static races across his skin.

A small crackling and wavering portal splits open the air.

And out drops a familiar figure in blue. He lands directly on top of the Krang’s outstretched limb, sword digging through metal into flesh, and Raph drops to the floor.

The fog fades and Raph can think clearly again. He looks up as much as he can in his restraints and his eyes water as he takes in the form his brother.

The Krang screeches, backing away from the source of pain.

“Surprise!” Leon says sounding smug.

When the krang growls in response Leon shifts his stance and holds his sword facing outwards, pointing towards the enemy. His expression turns deadly serious and if Raph didn’t know better then he would have thought that Leo was in control.

“I’ve come for my brothers.” He all but snarls.

He takes a step forward, blue sparking from his marks. The scowl deepens and the krang wavers.

“And I am not going to lose them again.”

Leon tenses, preparing to fight, and then he charges forward. Leon and the Krang clash in a shower of metal sparks as sword and armour meet.

There’s something different in the way that Leon fights. The way he’s moving reminds Raph of Leo and how he had acted in the first fight against the Krang, before Raph had been sent away.

“Why even bother?” The Krang taunts, metal claws catching Leon in the chin. “You are weak and pathetic. You cannot win.”

Leon stabs down with a sword but the Krang jumps away, putting distance between the two.

Leon grins, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth.

“Weak? Pathetic?”

He laughs.

“You haven’t even seen half of what we’re really capable of.”

Something sparks within Raph. He finds some sort of courage in his brother’s words.

He grabs hold of the little threads of power he had managed to uncover earlier.

Knowing that Leon is alive and unharmed, and fighting against the Krang alone, Raph begins fighting against his bonds with renewed strength.

“Especially when we fight together.”

The Krang takes another step back but his teeth remain bared.

“It’s pointless to resist Krang. You should give up.”

Raph keeps struggling.

“You will be consumed like everyone else on this pathetic planet!”

Leon laughs, blue lighting crackling across his skin.

“Fat chance.”

Raph can see red surrounding him. As well as orange and purple from either side.

Whatever they are doing is working.

With the four of them here, together, something has changed. The fight feels easier.

“We’re not like everyone else on this planet.”

Raph rips through the ooze with a wordless cry of rage. Beside him Donnie and Mikey manage to free themselves too.

As one they charge towards the Krang.

“Because we are-” Leon darts forward, slashing downwards with a sword.

The krang dodges backwards, straight into the path of Mikey who loops his golden chains around the Krang and flings him towards Donnie.

“-the teenage-”

Donnie swings his staff down, catching the Krang in the side, and leaving a trail of purple sparks as he does.

“-mutant-”

The staff makes a satisfying cracking noise as it impacts. The Krang goes flying again, like a ball hit by a bat, tumbling with a heavy thump into the wall. He shakily gets to his feet, moving away from the wall. But before he can move too far, a shadow appears above him, and he looks up to see Raph plummeting from above, a flickering red light enveloping his hands.

“-ninja-”

He slams them down onto the Krang’s head.

“-turtles!” Leo snarls, swinging both swords – now glowing blue – into the Krang’s side, digging deeply into metal.

The Krang goes flying once more, hitting the wall on the opposite side of the room.

They come together in a crescendo of coloured sparks, lighting up the dark room in a wash of warm and comforting colours.

They are confident.

They are together.

And, most importantly, they have hope.

The final chain unlocks.

Chapter Text

The Krang gets to his feet with a slight stumble.

“How cute.” He sneers. “But this isn’t over yet.”

It doesn’t take even a second for the battle to begin again, the Krang not giving them a moment to recover or catch their breath.

“Watch out.” Leo says.

Leon opens up a portal beneath his feet to get himself and Raph out of the way of a deadly Krang limb.

“There’s debris on your right.”

Leon huffs as he uses said rubble to launch himself back towards the Krang.

“Stop backseat driving.” Leon grumbles, slightly out of breath, as he attempts to slash the Krang with his swords. The Krang dodges and whips Leon into a wall in return.

“Sorry.” Leo says but Leon can tell he doesn’t really mean it.

He rests against the wall for a brief moment and watches as Raph uses his ninpo to punch the Krang through a wall. Raph takes a second to glance over at Leon in worry and he nods to reassure him that he’s alright, that he just needs a second. Satisfied that he’s okay, Raph follows the Krang out of the ship. Donnie and Mikey follow a second after.

Leon sighs. He’s not used to this; he realises with growing dread. He feels slow and uncoordinated. It is as if he’s forgotten what it is like to be in control. And that shouldn’t be possible as he hadn’t really been stuck in his mind for that long.

He’s just going to end up being a hindrance if this keeps up.

“Let me help.” Leo offers, voice hesitant, knowing not to not expect a positive response.

And Leon hates that Leo can read him so well.

Because that though is terrifying to him. He scared of losing what little control he has, of being lock away again.

And of being alone once more.

Because he still doesn’t really trust his older counterpart. He’s still bitter about being locked away in the first place. And he knows that Leo hadn’t meant to do it, that he had been just as unaware as Leon. But the clawing bitterness and distrust lingers in the back of his mind, preventing him from trusting him.

But he doesn’t have a choice, does he?

Because it’s not about him.

Or that’s what Leo says. And, more importantly, it’s also what Raph says.

That the world is more important. The safety of others is more important.

Words that he’d always pretended to ignore during all those late-night lectures, because the concept of them was terrifying and even more reason why Raph needed to be leader again.

But now he has seen what happens when he is selfish. What will happen if he, if they, fail to defeat the Krang.

And he is not willing risk his brothers’ lives just because he is slightly uncomfortable.

So, despite not wanting to, despite being more scared than he’s been in a long time, he stops fighting for control.

He had thought it would be like before, when this had first started, when it had been scary and painful. But it is different this time. It is seamless and easy. He still feels like he’s in control, can still feel the world around him.

And it is just like when they had first gone after the key, when they had first worked together to save Raph. It is like the invisible weight has been lifted again and he is unrestricted and they are completely in sync.

Leon finds himself relaxing. Maybe, just maybe, this might not be so bad.

He charges back into the battle, jumping out of the ship with a barely held back yelp.

And then they’re airborne and both Leo and Leon are trying not to freak out about that. But the lack of gravity keeps them from dropping so they can just about force themselves to ignore the height. They just have to tell themselves that there are more important things going on than a fear or falling.

Leon quickly catches up with his brothers and, with the both of them now fully working together, he finally manages to settle in to the rhythm of battle.

The fear and doubt fade from his mind, from their minds, both only focusing on defeating the Krang and keeping their brothers safe.

It’s not entirely clear who exactly is in control as the battle rages on. There are moments, of course, when instincts take over and one has more control than the other.

Leon, more used to his ninpo, opens a portal to send Raph through. Leo, through years of hard battles, dodges out of the way of a hit that Leon would have otherwise missed. The two work in tandem, each making up for the others weakness.

Because, at the end of the day, whatever issues they still have with each other, whatever fears they still possess, mean nothing in comparison to the safety of their family.

The four brothers work in sync despite the chaos of the battle, Leon slotting back into the group as easily as anything. The fight is both coordinated and uncoordinated chaos.

Raph lands a solid punch into the Krang’s face. Leon teleports him away before the Krang can retaliate. Donnie and Mikey work together to allow Donnie to get a hit in.

Mikey wraps his chains around the neck of the Krang’s armour and swings the both of them around. He then slams the Krang into the windows of a floating skyscraper. The Krang bounces across the outside of the building before eventually getting his feet back under him. He dissipates Raph’s oncoming attack with a single blow. Leon teleports Raph away before the Krang can strike back.

And then Mikey throws the skyscraper at the Krang and Leon tries not to get distracted by staring in shock.

Leo laughs to himself as he takes a bit more control, he’s used to Mikey throwing bigger things than a half-destroyed skyscraper – though he’s still just as proud and impressed at his little brother’s strength – so this does little to distract him.

The Krang bursts out of the building in a shower of dust and glass.

Raph envelopes himself within his ninpo as he leaps after. Donnie grabs on to the back of the shell of the clone, summoning a jetpack to propel them forward. Leon uses his portal to bring Mikey and himself over. Mikey wraps his ninpo chains around the clones Arm, adding extra fire power to the hit. Leon lands on the other side of the projection and stabs his sword into it. He throws the other sword forward towards where the Krang ended up.

He reaches out.

And teleports them in over an instant.

The Krang jolts in shock at their abrupt appearance and the brothers, using that surprise to their advantage, attack immediately.

With a loud cry, they put all of their ninpo and effort into powering their combined attack. The clones large fist shoots forward and Leon tries not to get excited. Because the last time they had tried something like this, and put all their power together, they had defeated the shredder.

So surely this would be enough.

But it isn’t.

And the Krang stops their attack with a simple flick of his fingers.

They are sent flying backwards, their ninpo dissipates.

And as Leon falls, he begins to panic.

He doesn’t know what to do now.

Doesn’t know if there’s anything he can do.

But then he sees crackling purple lightning in the corner of his eye and he looks up.

And a plan forms.

Leon stares up at the Krang’s portal and Leo can feel the grim determination that fills him. He knows, with absolute certainty, what Leon is thinking.

What he plans to do.

Because Leo had considered the exact same thing.

Back when he hadn’t really cared about himself and Leon. Back when his only thought had been to save the ones he actually cared about. He’d had a backup plan. A plan that he hadn’t dared tell anyone because he knew that they would try to talk him out of it.

And he doesn’t know if Leon had seen his thoughts, or if they were both still too similar, but they have both come to the same conclusion.

That there is only one thing left that they can try.

“You don’t have to do this.” He says.

Leon takes a deep breath but otherwise doesn’t respond.

“We can find another way.”

“But there isn’t another way is there?”

And Leo tries, really tries to think of another way. But his brothers are injured now, too weak to handle much more. Casey, April, and Splinter are who knows where.

“No.” He finally, reluctantly admits. “Its your decision, Leon. I won’t force you or argue against you.”

He really wants to argue, to find some reason to stop Leon, but he can’t think of anything. And he knows Leon will not listen to him at this point.

“I think you know what my decision is.” Leon states, resolute. And there is only one thing he can do now. Only one thing he can promise.

“You won’t be alone.”

But before Leon can reply, his fall comes to an abrupt stop and he grunts as he is slammed against a rock. He can hear the thuds of his brothers landing not too far away.

His vision wavers as he struggles to pull himself upright. He looks up just in time to see the Krang almost teleport in front of Donnie and Mikey.

He watches, helpless, as Donnie just barely manages to bring up his bo staff to block a powerful direct hit. The hastily summoned shield breaks into a shower of purple sparks. The force of the impact shoves Donnie backwards into Mikey and the two try to keep themselves upright, and push back against the hit.

But it’s not enough and they are sent flying backwards, limp and obviously unconscious, into a complete free fall.

It only takes a second, the decision is made in an instant, but it feels as if time slows down.

Because this means there’s no going back, no escaping.

And that there will be no one around to stop him.

But what other decision can be made?

With tears in his eyes, and trying to show nothing but determination in his voice, Leon turns to his older brother and makes his choice.

“Raph, go.”

Raph nods, without hesitation.

“On it!”

He gets to his feet, tripping slightly in his haste, and charges after Donnie and Mikey. Leon opens a portal and Raph dives in.

Leon leans forward as far as he can, trying to keep his brothers in his vision, desperate to make sure that they make it out okay. And he thinks that it will work, that he has one less thing to worry about.

But then, as Raph goes to reach for Donnie, with Mikey already secured in his other arm, a large piece of debris slams into him, sending him and Mikey away from Donnie and out of Leon’s line of sight.

And he doesn’t know what to do again.

He knows he can’t go after Donnie without the Krang following. And if he leaves now, and they escape the Krang, then it may be too late to stop the Krang’s plans.

And too late to go through with his own.

But then, somehow despite all the stress, he remembers what Leo had said.

That he had died.

And he remembers April and Karai. And he remembers something that they had been able to do.

And he doesn’t know if it will work. If his situation is the same. But he knows it’s his only option.

And that Donnie cannot afford for him to hesitate.

So, he begins shoving.

He feels Leo’s confusion and he knows the other is about to start asking questions so he pushes the memory at him, like Leo had unintentionally done to him so many times.

Leo goes quiet for a second.

“I’ll be fine.” He insists, hoping that Leo hasn’t heard the tremble in his voice.

“You don’t need to lie.” Leo says softly in return.

Leon bits at his lip and shakes his head.

“I’ll be fine.” He repeats.

(Because its not about him. Not about how he feels.)

Leo hesitates for a brief second longer. But they are too similar after all, and the worry for Donnie takes over the worry about Leon. And he, too starts, to shove.

And then something snaps.

And Leon is suddenly staring up at his older self.

Leo is slightly transparent, glowing faintly blue like Karai glowed green.

The two turtles stare at each other in wide-eyed shock, completely surprised that Leon’s hastily thought-out plan had succeeded.

But it isn’t quite what he expected. They can both tell that they are still connected, that they are still tethered together. Leon suddenly feels restricted again and uncomfortable.

Like this will not be able to last.

(He refuses to consider what that could mean.

It’s not like it will matter for much longer anyway.)

But now is not the time to dwell on uncertainties and with one final resolute nod, Leo draws his sword, summons a portal, and disappears into it.

And then Leon is left to face the Krang, injured, tired, and completely and utterly alone.

Chapter Text

The fight against the sister Krang takes a lot more effort than Casey had expected. Which is possibly a bit naive of him but it would have been nice to be done before he got this tired.

And maybe he’s used to his Sensei’s plans going a lot smoother than today. But he doesn’t really blame him for being a little bit off.

He can’t even imagine what it must be like for him.

They had almost won so many times, but the Krang had kept coming after them. She had lost several chunks of flesh by the time they had managed to pin her under a pile of rubble. The severed lines from the sprinklers and the resulting leaking blue liquid had kept her from getting back up again.  If it hadn’t been so frustrating, Casey might have been a bit impressed at her resilience.

But mostly he is just glad that it was over.

Or that single fight at least.

He pants, starting the feel the tiredness taking over and but he pushes it back, knowing there may still be more to come.

“Sensei come in.” He speaks into his wrist comm, feeling nervous when he gets no response back.

He looks back to Commander April and Master Splinter.

They give each other a look that Casey can’t quite read before turning back to him.

“Go on.” Commander April says with a smile. “We’ll keep an eye on her.”

She gestures with her head over to the limp and unmoving Krang.

Casey nods his thanks and runs of to find the brothers.

There are a hundred more important things going on that Leo should be focusing on, but he can’t help but wish that he would stop having to fall from things.

But here he is, trying to catch up with his unconscious brother before he hits the ground, with portals that don’t quite work correctly.

(He feels like he’s fourteen again.)

Although he’s not that surprised at his lack of correctly working portals, considering that this body hasn’t used ninpo in a long time. And he isn’t sure if he’s unlocked his own, or if he’s still somehow using Leon’s. But he doesn’t care either way.

If it works, it works.

And he’d be a fool to question it.

He dodges rocks and debris as he falls, getting closer and closer to Donnie but his brother remains frustratingly just out of reach.

What can he do?

He catches sight of a large piece of falling debris, and an idea sparks to life in his head.

He needs momentum.

He readies himself, waiting for the moment that the large slab of concrete will be close enough, and goes to push himself off of it.

Only for his legs to pass harmlessly through.

He blinks, completely taken aback.

What?

His brain takes a moment to process that.

That’s right, he thinks, he’s a ghost.

That could cause some issues.

But his flailing must have done something as he’s finally caught up with Donnie and without thinking he reaches a hand out.

And grabs hold of his arm.

He blinks again.

Okay then, he thinks, not gonna question that either.

(Though distantly he wonders if it has something to do with ninpo.)

He pulls Donnie towards him, and presses him against his plastron. He grabs hold of his sword and hopes that his portals send him to the right location this time.

He doesn’t really want to go for a swim if the location is slightly off again.

Raph crashes to the ground, his ninpo clone shattering into pieces at the impact.

He clambers to his feet – sparing a quick glance down to make sure Mikey is okay – and searches the air desperately.

He had been so unbearably close to saving both of his brothers, only to be cruelly pushed away moments before he could.

And now Donnie is who knows where, possibly still unconscious and unable to save himself.

On top of that, Leon is now facing the Krang alone.

And Raph can do nothing to help either of them.

He can’t help but feel like he’s failing as an older brother.

He looks up into the sky, squinting into the light of the portal, and fruitlessly tries to search for a tiny spot of purple.

But he can’t see anything.

A feeling of despair begins to well up within him, his eyes begin to sting. Because he knows that Donnie would have landed by now.

And he doesn’t want to think about what that means. Doesn’t want to acknowledge what that means.

And then a blue portal splits open the air.

Excitement fills him, because he only knows of one person who can open portals like that. He allows his hopes to soar, thinking that Leon managed to escape the Krang and is now safe with them.

Two figures drop out of the portal. They both roll across the ground with their leftover momentum.

He takes a split-second decision and runs over to the purple figure, as Donnie had been unconscious when Raph had last seen him. He can hear Donnie groan as he gets closer.

“Are you okay?” He asks, leaning over Donnie as he tries to get a good look at him.

Donnie blinks up at him, looking slightly dazed and confused.

“Solid attempt at a rescue.” He mumbles slightly incoherently. “I’d give it a 6 out of 10.”

“Sorry.” He apologises. “For not grabbing you.”

Donnie waves his hand in the air dismissively.

“it’s fine.” He says.

And Raph wants to accept that response but he knows if it hasn’t been for-

He looks over at the blue figure and his thought trail off as the other turtle pushes himself to his knees. He looks up at him, and Raph realises that he isn’t looking at who he thought he was.

He’s too old. His figure completely the opposite to his small and skinny younger brother.

Raph’s immediately on the defensive. He raises his fists into the air and clutches his sais tightly within them. Donnie stumbles to his feet behind him and Raph can hear the rattling of Mikey’s chains.

The turtle, looking unconcerned and possibly slightly amused, raises his arms, and looks between the three of them.

“Its just me.” He says.

Raph blinks.

He recognises that voice, despite it being deeper with age and layered with exhaustion. He’d recognise that voice anywhere.

He takes in the turtle’s appearance. Though he is slightly transparent and glowing faintly blue Raph decides to deal with that later, and takes note of the familiar markings, the familiar face.

And comes to the only possible conclusion.

“Leo?”

The turtle smiles back at him.

“Hey Raph.”

Raph’s brain stutters to a halt.

He genuinely hadn’t expected this.

And then Leo gets to his feet. And Raph’s brain completely breaks.

Up until now, when he had imagined how Leo actually looked, he had just pictured him looking vaguely the same as Leon, just a bit older and slightly taller.

But this. This is completely unexpected.

So many thoughts filter through his mind. Why is he so tall? What happened to his arm? Is he taller than Raph?

Raph is pretty sure he’s staring open-mouthed at his older-but-younger brother. Though Leo doesn’t seem to care, and keeps regarding them with an amused expression.

And then Mikey, in typical Mikey fashion, charges through stunned silence.

“Ohmigosh!” He squeals, running up to Leo and darting around him as he takes in his appearance. Leo watches him with a fond expression on his face as Mikey starts firing questions at him. Though the expression is tightened with some emotion that Raph cannot figure out.

“Good Galileo, you actually time travelled.”

Donnie adds in, having gotten rid of most of his shock. He, too, begins examining the older version of their brother.

Leo blinks at him.

“I thought we already established that.”

“Well... yes but...” Donnie just gestures at him.

Raph kind of gets what he’s trying to say. It’s one thing to be told that his brother has time travelled, and notice the differences in a familiar body. But to now see the actual difference, to be given undeniable truth.

It’s incredibly surprising.

He can’t believe that this is who his brother grows up to be.

But then that thought reminds him, and his mind snaps back to the present.

“Leo...” He says, the horror creeping into his voice.

Leo turns to look at him, and the smile slips from his face as he takes in Raph’s expression.

“Where’s Leon?”

Leo’s expression turns serious. He looks from Raph back up to the sky. Raph follows his gaze and feels his heart sink.

And then his comm goes off.

The Krang lands on the rock with a clang of metal, sending a shock wave of air towards him as he does. It is only his sword dug into the ground that prevents him from being blown away.

He staggers to his feet but his leg refuses to cooperate and gives out from underneath him.

The Krang starts walking towards him.

He looks up and, knowing that he doesn’t have much time, steels himself and activates his comm.

“Casey. Casey, come in.”

There’s a brief pause before Casey responds. “Sensei, I’m here. And I’ve got eyes on the key. What do you need me to do?”

Leon feels a strange mix of relief and fear at the words.

“I’m gonna get the Krang to the other side of the portal.” He says. “And then you need to remove the key.”

“Got it.” Casey confirms. “Tell me when you’re home free, and I’ll pull the plug.”

He looks from his comm to the Krang, his mind briefly and frantically trying to think of another solution. A way to escape.

But as he watches the Krang step closer and closer, he knows that he will be unable to come up with another solution.

“Casey, listen to me. When I get the other side, you close that door.”

Casey’s response come immediately, sounding panicked and afraid.

“What? Sensei, no!”

“It’s the only way. He’s too strong. He’s not gonna stay on the other side unless I keep him there.”

“There has to be another way!” Casey tries to argue.

And he can’t help but wondering if he would care this much if he knew Leon wasn’t his Sensei.

“Leon, please don’t do this!” Raph cuts in and Leon tries not to falter at the pain in his brother’s voice.

So he laughs instead, trying to put on a brave face, and hopes that Raph doesn’t hear how fake it sounds.

“You’re one to talk, big bro. Hero moves are totally your style.”

There’s a pause and Leon refuses to think about the expression on his brother’s face.

“Please, Leon. I thought we made a promise.”

He laughs again, but they can all tell its forced and fake. He doesn’t even try to make it sound real this time.

“Leo made that promise, Raph. Not me.”

And he knows that there’s nothing Raph can say back to that. And the returning silence confirms that.

He cuts off his comm, and looks up.

The Krang laughs at him.

“Outmatched and alone, yet you persist. For what?” He asks, as Leon successfully gets to his feet.

“Honor, redemption?”

He raises is swords into position.

“Sacrifice? All meaningless.”

He twirls his sword around and readies himself.

“We’ll see about that.”

And the battle commences. If you could even call it a battle, it is over quickly, after all. He dodges under the Krang’s legs, skidding into an open portal, and flings a sword forward when he exits out of the other side.

He hopes for a moment, despite everything, that his sword will hit metal and the fight will continue. That he’ll win and escape the fight safe and victorious.

But, as he predicted, the Krang dodges the hit, and his sword goes flying into the portal.

And his fate is sealed.

He doesn’t have even a second to take that in before he’s being squeezed within the Krang’s grasp. He grunts at the impact.

Then he gets thrown down at the floor and he cries out at the pain that shoots through him. He rolls across the ground and tries desperately to end up in a position to defend himself. The Krang raises his foot, and Leon tries to protect himself with a swing of his remaining sword but it bounces harmlessly off of metal.

And then the Krang brings his foot down and pain like he has never felt before fills him. He cries out, seeing a flash of red as he does.

“Sensei, please!” He hears Casey over his comm again. “I can’t lose you again.”

Momentarily pushing past the pain, he speaks back.

“It’ll be okay.” He says, fully aware that he’s lying. He technically hasn’t met Casey yet, only seen him whilst he watched. But he likes to think that they would have been good friends. So there’s isn’t any words he can say, or reassurances that he can give, to try and persuade his future student.

“Just trust me.”

“Trust?” The Krang snarls. “What a weak word. What a weak action.” The Krang interrupts, pressing his foot down harder.

The ground crumbles and breaks beneath him. And Leon really hopes that it’s the cracking of the ground that he can hear, and not anything else.

“I have forever known what you fail to understand,” he presses down even more, “strength always prevails!”

The pain is overwhelming, he can hardly breathe at this point, but even so he manages to stab his sword into the Krang’s foot.

“What you fail to understand,” he grabs one of the Krang’s claws, “is that I missed on purpose.”

He activates his ninpo.

Lightning crackles from the hilt of his sword. He pushes back against the Krang.

And then with a flash he’s on the other side of the portal.

He tries to fight once more, now that he has two swords once again. And he doesn’t know if he’s trying one last time to escape or if he’s just delaying the inevitable, but it’s pointless either way.

“No,” the krang snarls as he grabs both swords, “enough of your little tricks.”

He gets hit across the face and then his swords are thrown far out of his reach. He is grabbed around the throat, and he knows that now is the chance.

“Casey, close the portal now.”

The Krang catches on to his plan and tries to get away. He holds on with every ounce of strength he has left.

“Casey, please.” He yells.

The Krang fights against him, hitting him in the face. His vision blacks out for a second, the world begins to spin.

And then the portal closes.

He laughs, pushing back the horror that fills him.

“You lost.” He taunts.

“No!” The Krang yells and flings him away, as he makes one last futile effort to reach the portal.  

He lands on a solid surface, tumbling until he crashes into a rock that juts out of the ground. He stays where he landed, feeling numb and horrified. He cannot bring himself to move. But he remembers a photo that Leo had placed into one his of his pouches, and with shaking hands he reaches in and picks it up.

Seconds later, the Krang lands on the same surface as him.

“You...” He growls and begins stalking towards him.

He doesn’t dare look up, knowing what’s about to come but scared to face it. He can only listen as each footstep draws closer.

Closer.

And even closer.

“You’ve ruined everything!”

And even closer still.

“And now.” He laughs. “My wrath will be reserved for you alone.”

Hit after hit rains down on him. Hit after hit, punch after punch, he remains unmoving.

“You think you’ve won, you wretched little-”

The Krang brings both of his arms together and slams them down on top of him.

“-Pest!”

The ground underneath him breaks, sending both him and the Krang to the floor below.

The breath gets knocked out of him, his vision wavers and goes double. When it clears, he realises that he is staring at the hand that grasps the photo and loosens his grip.

The faces of his family stare back at him happily.

And suddenly he doesn’t feel so scared.

Because they are safe.

And that is all that matters.

He smiles as the tears drip down his cheeks.

“Wipe that grin off your face!”

The world explodes around him. He’s sent flying through rubble and debris out into the open air.

He’s filled with pain yet completely numb at the same time.

He’s alone again, drifting in an empty void.

He knows, with absolute certainty that no one will respond if he calls out into the deep darkness.

(No one but a creature that wants him dead that is.)

He made this choice, knowing what the outcome would be.

But he still hates that he had to make it, regardless.

And he wishes, desperately, that he’d been able to hug his brothers before he had left.

He supposes that he’ll just have to be satisfied with the knowledge that they are safe.

And if he tells himself that it’s okay, that the thought makes his reality hurt less well... Well then he’s lying to himself.

(But at least there’s no one around to call him out on it this time.)

He curls up, clutching the crumpled picture to his plastron, and cries. He floats weightless and alone. Satisfied yet miserable.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers into the dark. “For acting the way I did.”

He has to get this out now. He knows that no-one can hear him, but if he doesn’t speak now, he knows that he will regret for however little remains of his life.

“I just didn’t think I was… good enough to be leader.” He pauses, letting out a trembling breath. “I didn’t think I was good enough to take it away from you, Raph.”

He laughs, but there’s no joy to it. No happiness. Just the sad acceptance that this is it.

“So I fought against you because I never really understood what you were trying to say. Or maybe I did and I was too scared to really accept it. Because I was scared to lead and take on those burdens.”

He pauses for a second, trying to collect his thoughts, trying to not fall apart. He stares up at the endless sky above him.

“But I get it now.”

He sighs, tearing his gaze away from the morbid beauty of his soon to be tomb.

“After- after everything. When I see what could have happened today. What almost happened today I realised it wasn’t about me.”

He looks back down at the photo clutched tightly within his hand.

“You were scared, weren’t you? Of us getting hurt or... or killed. Because being leader meant that you were responsible for it, or that’s what you would have thought.”

He stares at Raph’s face, wishing that he was saying these words to his brother’s face.

“But you did it anyway because that’s what it means to be a hero.”

The photo crumples as he clenches his fist.

“I just wanted you to know, now that this is it, that I finally understand.”

He releases a shuddering breath and curls up once more. His eyes water, and he allows the tears to flow.

“And I’m sorry.” He repeats.

There’s still so much he wants to say, that he wants to apologise for. For the messes he made, or could have made. But the words keep getting stuck in his throat.

“I’m sorry.” He says again, for it is all that he can say. His situation finally catches up to him, finally sinks in. He cries out, angry and afraid, and no longer caring if the Krang hears him.

Because at least then it would be over.

He sobs, shoulders heaving, as his chest tightens. He struggles to breathe through his cries.

But...

The freezing air of the prison dimension saps the remaining strength from his limbs. He looks up into the cold and endless abyss, and imagines that the glowing lights in the distance are a familiar starry sky. That he’s simply stargazing on the roofs in the city with his brothers, trying to get a glimpse of the lights through the smog. And he is laughing, happy, and contented.

“I don’t want to die.” He admits to the false stars, his voice echoing out into the darkness where it remains unheard.

Please.

Please.

He begs with foolish hope.

Just give me one more chance.

.

..

...

Raph stares up as the portal closes, snapping shut and ceiling his little brother away from him forever.

There’s no loud noise, no explosion of light. No fanfare for the passing of a hero, no grand farewell to a lost little brother.

One moment the portal is there, and the next it is gone.

And Leon is gone with it.

All he can think is this is it. It’s over. He’ll never see Leon again. Never hear his voice again.

And then his comm crackles to life once more.

“You’ve lost.” Comes his little brother’s voice, closely followed by the sound of wind against the microphone.

And then the Krang starts talking. And Raph wants nothing more than to run to Leon. To hold and protect him.

But he can’t.

He’s stuck a dimension away, unable to do anything but listen, as his little brother is beaten and yelled at.

And it is absolute torture. His worst nightmare come true.

Leon does not utter a single word throughout it all. All Raph can hear from him are occasional cries of pain.

He wants to cover his ears and block out the sound but he feels like he would be letting Leon down. Like he is turning his back on him in his hardest moment.

Because if Leon has to live through it, then Raph will make sure that he will not completely suffer alone.

That is the least he can do, after all.

But even that doesn’t feel like enough.

“Wipe that smile off your face!” He hears the Krang yell.

There is the sound of something breaking. The sound of rocks shattering.

The comm then goes quiet, the noises fade into nothing. And Raph thinks that it’s over.

And then:

“I’m sorry.” Leon breaks the silence.

And Raph didn’t realise his heart could break even more than it already had. Not too long-ago, Raph would have been so happy to hear this kind of apology from Leon, would have been proud of his maturity. Of his growth.

But hearing it hear and now, as Leon’s possible last words, is absolutely unbearable. He can hear the waverer in his voice. Hear as he cries through the apology. And that is gut-wrenching enough because Leon hardly cries, or hardly ever cries in front of him.

“I just wanted you to know, now that this is it, that I finally understand.”

He drops to his knees and stares up at the sky, and wishes that it would open up again. That Leon would emerge safe and unharmed.

But, of course, that does not happen.

“And I’m so-”

Static fills the comm, Leon’s voice cuts out, and it falls silent.

He can see as the tears fall down Donne’s face. Can see as he reaches up and touches them with a look of surprise on his face.

He can see Mikey standing still and staring up at the sky.

(He refuses to look at Leo.)

This can’t be happening.

This can’t be real.

He cries out but the tears do not fall. He is completely numb. And he hates that he can’t cry but he is so overwhelmed with emotions that he cannot convey a single one.

He is numb. He is distraught. He doesn’t know what to feel or what to do.

And then the grief turns into anger.

He stumbles to his feet and turns to face the source of his rage.

“Did you do this on purpose?” Raph accuses, grabbing hold of the front of Leo’s cape and pulling him close.

“I could tell – we all could – that the two of you never really got on.” He snarls as the anger consumes him.

“Were you just waiting for an opportunity like this? So you could goad him on and let him take the fall?”

Leo shakes his head.

“No. No I-”

He doesn’t listen to anything Leo tries to say and ploughs on.

“So you could move on with him not around?”

Leo shakes his head and grabs hold of his hand. The touch is familiar and comforting and Raph hates that it is. But some of his anger drains, regardless.

“Please, Raph, I didn’t want this to happen.”

His vision begins to blur and he feels a cool liquid dripping down his cheeks. The numbness and anger reach their peak.

He’s not really angry at Leo, or maybe is a bit. He thinks part of him is angry at Leon, for doing this to them and to himself, and he’s taking that anger out on Leo.

And maybe he’s also angry at himself.

But Leo is an easy target for his rage.

“Why didn’t you stop him, then!?” He yells but it comes out choked with sobs. He doesn’t even attempt to hold back his tears; the emotions are too strong for him to stop.

But the anger is quickly fading into grief.

Leo’s expression softens.

And Raph is pulled into a hug.

He cries at the unfairness of it all. At the thought of never seeing his younger brother again.

He slams his fists against Leo’s plastron. Repeatedly asking: “Why didn’t you stop him.”

Leo does not fight against him. Just stands there as Raph releases all his anger and pain.

And then he hears Mikey yelling and his older brother instincts take over. He pushes away from Leo, who lets go of him, and watches as Mikey holds his hands out into the air, crying and yelling as he tries to do something.

“Its over, Mikey” He says softly, wiping away the tears from his eyes so he can see clearly.

“I am not,” Mikey hisses in return, straining as he tries to generate some form of power, “giving up on Leon.”

The tears fall from his eyes as he speaks and Raph finds that he cannot stop his youngest brother.

Cannot bare to take that hope away from him.

Golden sparks begin to form in the air.

“No, wait Mikey, don’t.” Leo yells, placing himself between his brother and the golden sparks.

Raph hadn’t even seen him move.

“Move, Leo.” Mikey replies, voice firm.

Leo eyes are watering and he stays where he is.

“It could kill you.”

Raph scrambles to his feet.

“I don’t care.” Mikey snaps. “I won’t stop trying, even if you stop me, I will keep trying.”

He looks Leo in the eyes. And Raph doesn’t know what Leo sees, doesn’t know what expression Mikey is making, but it is enough to make Leo falter.

“So. Move.”

Leo, reluctantly, steps to the side.

And Raph also makes his decision.

Golden cracks begin to creep up Mikey’s arms, splitting them like broken porcelain.

Raph places his hand onto Mikey’s shoulders, and takes on some of the burden.

He sees Donnie do the same on the other side.

“We’re here, Mikey. Together.”

Mikey looks up at him, with a tear-filled gaze, before he steels himself and continues perform a miracle.

Together the three brothers push through the pain and the fear. Only caring about one thing. About one person. They all know that they will not give up until their missing brother is back where he belongs.

The pain is excruciating.

The portal grows but does not open.

And Raph does not know how much longer they can last.

And then a hand reaches out and carefully places itself onto Mikey’s shell.

Raph startles and looks back. Leo gives him a watery smile in return but says nothing. Raph can see the fear and worry in his eyes, can tell that doing this is taking every ounce of strength Leo has.

And the anger he had been feeling towards Leo fades completely.

A piece of a missing puzzle slots into place, the pain and the effort reduces. They are no longer a broken circuit, limping along with a missing piece, but a whole piece. And he is sure that they could have made it as that broken circuit, but to have that missing piece is a relief.

He feels his ninpo surge.

He can see Leo’s blue glow fading into orange.

He can tell the moment four different ninpos surge and combine.

And the orange portal snaps open.

He reaches out towards the shining sun, towards the warmth that it provides.

He doesn’t know what it is that he’s reaching towards, only knows, somehow, that it will make this all end.

Maybe it is heaven, he thinks.

Because it is warm and comforting and familiar.

So he reaches out towards a new dawn.

And is greeted by the faces of his family.

Oh, he thinks, numbly.

This isn’t a dream or the afterlife.

They found a way to save him.

And then the joy slips in.

He tries to laugh but it turns into a wince of pain. So, he looks up, with joy in his eyes, and says:

“Took you guys long enough.”

Raph’s ninpo reaches towards him and grabs hold of his outstretched arm as tightly as it can.

And begins pulling him to freedom.

Its over, he dares to hope, he’s been saved.

But then he hears a noise behind him and he looks down to see his approaching doom. He twitches and that is all he can do though the pain, and fear, and hopelessness that begins to consume him.

He faintly hears Raph calling his name.

And this is it, he thinks again.

But then something purple rushes past him, slamming into the Krang and stopping him in his tracks.

And the next thing he knows, he’s on solid ground, with his brothers looking down on him.

He blinks.

He feels the cold wind of home. Sees a familiar starry sky sparkling above him. And he knows that it is really, truly over.

“Leo?” Raph asks, voice small and nervous. He really hates to see the worry on his brother’s faces.

“Hey.” he replies, squinting through blurred vision. He takes in his surroundings and he really cannot help himself.

“Eww. Are we in Staten Island.”

It works and his brothers laugh as they scoop him up into the best hug that Leon has had in a long time.

There are several things he should be concerned about. His entire body hurts, his chest still feels tight, and he feels more exhausted than he should.

But being here, safe and loved, within the warm embrace of all his brothers is the only thing he cares about.

Everything else can wait.

Because they did it.

They survived.

They prevented the worst from coming to pass.

The stars fade from the sky as the rising sun chases the darkness way.

A new day approaches.

And he is overjoyed that he gets to see it.

Chapter Text

He’s not sure how long the hug lasts. Nor does he really care to keep track of time.

He’d much rather just stay here for as long as he can. And he knows that he should get his injuries looked at, that his brothers need to get their injuries looked at as well. But he does not want to move.

Of course, someone eventually has to be the sensible one, and Raph breaks the comfortable silence.

“Are you injured, Leon?” he asks.

Raph shifts out of the hug so he can get a better look at him. Gently placing Leon down on the floor as he does. He shivers at the feeling of the cold floor, his thoughts briefly snapping back to the cold terror of the prison dimension. He squeezes his eyes shut against the onslaught, trying to convince himself that it’s all okay.

He’s not there anymore.

He’s safe.

He’s in his own dimension.

He’s-

The cold seeps into his skin.

Just.

Breathe.

“Raph, can you hold him against you? We don’t want him getting any colder than he already is.”

Leon’s eyes snap open.

He is sure that he had been doing a decent job of hiding his brewing panic. He’s had plenty of practice after all. But, he supposes, as he locks eyes with Leo, there’s only so much you can hide from yourself.

Or an alternate timeline version of yourself.

Time travel is nothing but confusing and now his head hurts.

Or maybe that’s just the concussion.

Anyway, he’s getting distracted.

Raph is frowning down at him with that sad look on his face that means he’s about to start tearing up. So Leon smiles up at him as he is picked up and placed against Raph’s plastron.

“I’m okay.” He reassures, patting his hand on Raph’s arm.

“He really is.” Leo chimes in as he reaches into Leon’s pouch for his medical supplies. “I’m just being cautious.”

He can see the relief in his brother’s face.

“So...” Mikey says, drawing out the sound. “Are we gonna talk about you guys?”

He looks excitedly between the two of them.

“We, uh...” He shares a glance with Leo. “Came to an understanding.” He finally settles on.

Mikey looks between the both of them, and Leon can tell that he wants to ask more questions. But instead, he smiles at them both.

“Well done.” He says. “Dr. Feelings would be proud.”

Leon snorts with laughter, and then coughs when it jolts his injuries. Mikey startles, hands moving as if to touch him but he can’t quite bring himself to.

And it is then that Leon notices the thin golden cracks that run up his arms.

“Mikey!” He gasps, unable to tear his gaze away from his brother’s arms.

“They don’t hurt.”

He tears his gaze away from Mikey’s arms and looks up at his face. His brother looks serious. And it doesn’t look like he’s lying.

“It did at first.” He admits. “But when everyone joined, when we all came together, it stopped.”

He flexes his fingers and turns his hands around to show his ability to move them. And not once does he wince or show any sign of pain.

Leon relaxes minutely.

“Let me look.” Leo says, holding out a hand. Mikey immediately gives him his hand. Leo looks it over, inspecting it carefully, and making sure not to hold too tightly.

His expression switches between grief, guilt, and utter joy.

Leon abruptly remembers the memory he had seen of the older version of his brother. Of his last moments. And he can’t image what emotions Leo is feeling.

Mikey’s expression softens and he opens his arms out.

“Do you want a hug?”

The tension drops from Leo’s shoulders. He nods and Mikey leans forward into his arms. Leo crushes him in the embrace and buries his face into Mikey’s – tiny in comparison – shoulder. Leon cannot see his expression. He thinks it may be for the best that he can’t.

He looks away, to give the two some privacy. He doesn’t feel as jealous as he thought he might towards the hug. He knows just how much Leo must need it.

His gaze is drawn towards the red and orange horizon and he watches as the sunrise blurs into one solid colour.

He blinks.

That’s... That’s not right.

He moves his gaze back towards his family, feeling dizzy and confused at the swirl of colours the movement makes. It’s like his vision is on a delay and he gets the full image a second after he moves his eyes.

All he can see is a confusing kaleidoscope of colours.

He feels like he’s going to be sick.

“We sh--l- c-ll the oth---.” He hears Raph say from above him, but the words are distorted and broken.

There’s static in his hearing. And a buzzing noise that won’t go away. The world around him becomes muffled and hard to understand.

The tightness in his chest becomes almost impossible to ignore. A haze of exhaustion envelops his mind, blanketing the world in a thick fog.

He chokes on his next breath.

“Leon?!” He hears a panicked voice but everything is too muffled for him to make out who spoke.

Distantly he is aware of Leo pushing away from Mikey, and catching himself with his hands as he slumps limply forward. And he thinks he should probably be concerned about that too.

But his thoughts, his body, every single part of him, is too numb to do anything but struggle to breathe.

Black begins to spot his vision.

Each blink takes longer than the last.

And maybe it’ll be okay if he keeps them closed and takes a break.

He’s done so much after all.

He’s absolutely exhausted.

“Le--, please s--y awake. Don’t –”

He gives in to the encroaching darkness.

And then the world...

               tilts...

sideways...

.

..

...

He wakes up in complete darkness.

There’s a hand gently stroking his face.

He tries to open his eyes to locate the person, but his eyelids are too heavy and it feels like his eyes are glued shut.

“Do not worry.” A voice, sounding feminine and familiar, soothes. “Just relax, you are in no danger here.”

He relaxes, feeling the tension drain from his muscles. For some reason he trusts the person immensely.

“You have a choice.” The voice whispers to him, sounding reluctant yet resigned. “To stay or go.”

The sentence brings him nothing but panic. He struggles but it feels like he’s trying to move through quicksand and all he can do is twitch a finger. A hand takes hold of his twitching fingers and grasps them in a comforting grip.

“I’m not- I’m not ready yet.” He gasps out, desperate to make her understand.

Because there’s so much that he needs to do. That he needs to make up for.

And sure, the worst has passed and the danger may have gone. But... But he can’t leave yet.

“And that is okay.” The voice replies, taking his hand in both of hers. “But you will have to let go eventually.”

There’s a pause. The speaker sighs.

“For we both know that this cannot last.”

Awareness slips from him, the comforting blanket of unconsciousness envelops his mind, and he cannot fight against it.

“Now sleep, Leonardo, you have long since earned a rest.”

.

..

…

The next time he opens his eyes, he’s looking up at a vaguely familiar ceiling.

He shuts them immediately at the bright light shining down on him.

He thinks he had been dreaming but no matter how hard he tries he cannot recall what he dreamt about.

His mouth is dry and his body aches.

It takes a while for events to catch up with him as he lies on the bed in a haze of post sleep disorientation. But his bed is warm and cosy so he allows himself to drift, half asleep half awake, and completely content.

He hears a shuffle to his Right. The sound of someone shifting in their seat.

“Leon?” A voice questions. “Are you awake? I saw your eyes open.”

The sound drags him from the comfort of his sleep. The voice sounds worried so he supposes he should respond.

“I am now.” He mumbles, voice coming out a lot less clear than he intended.

He squints open his eyes, relieved when it’s not as bright as earlier, and turns to locate the source of the voice. Raph stares back at him with a relieved expression on his face.

“Have you shrunk?”

“I’m the same size as I usually am.” Raph replies, sounding just as puzzled as he looks.

The sentence takes a while for him to process. His thoughts struggle to catch up.

Then he blinks.

Processes.

And remembers.

Oh. He thinks.

“I’m still here.” He says out loud.

Now that his mind is clear he can remember the moment before he woke up. Back on Staten Island. That fear, panic, and disorientation. Of feeling tired and being unable to hold on.

Of fading into the darkness.

A shadow leans over him and Raph’s face enters his vision.

“Are you Leon or Leo?”

“Leo.” He replies, and tries not to feel bitter at the brief look of disappointment on Raph’s face.

“Is Leon awake?”

Leo pauses as that, realising that he hadn’t heard anything from the younger turtle.

“I think he’s still unconscious.”

Raph frowns and bites his lip. He rings his hands together with a palpable nervousness. He opens his mouth, then closes it again. He obviously wants to say something but can’t figure out how to.

“Just hold on a second.” 

And before Leo can respond, Raph rushes out of the room.

Leo watches him go, feeling confused, amused, and still slightly groggy with sleep.

As he’s waiting for Raph to return, he feels a presence begin to stir within his mind.

‘Did I get hit by a bus?’  Leon groans as he emerges into the waking world. ‘Everything hurts. And I didn’t even think that was possible.’

Leo laughs, feeling nothing but relief that the young slider is awake and (relatively) okay.

“Certainly feels like it.” He replies out loud as he struggles to not move too much and cause himself pain.

‘Can’t believe we’re still alive.’ Leon says.

Leo can tell he’s trying to joke, trying not to display his true emotions, but Leo can hear the waver in his voice. And he wants to say something, wants to provide some sort of comfort, but before he can respond, he is distracted by the thunderous sound of multiple hurried footsteps steps.

He opens his eyes, unsure of when he’d closed them, and watches as his family tries to enter the room in one go, all calling out his name in a cacophonous shout.

He watches, amused, as Mikey trips over Donnie as he tries to squeeze past the soft-shelled turtle. Donnie, due to Mikey’s shoving gets pushed into the doorframe. He scowls and shoves back, causing Mikey to ricochet into the other side of the door, bumping into Casey who had been trying to sneak past without getting involved.

Behind them Raph, although he too had tried to enter the room, stands with an exasperated expression on his face.

“When I said he was awake I didn’t mean for you all to come.” He sighs. “I just needed Donnie.”

“But it’s been so long!” Mikey shouts dramatically as he finally manages to squeeze through the tightly packed doorway. Startled at the abrupt freedom, he crashes to the floor where he lands face down with an audible thud.

“Wait, what do you mean it’s been so long?”

Raph and Donnie exchange a look and a silent debate seems to take place. Eventually Donnie sighs, steps towards him, only for Mikey to pop up from the floor, fling himself towards Leo and drape himself across his feet.

“You’ve been asleep for three days!”

Leo startles, sitting up in his bed and winces when the movement causes pain to shoot up his side. Three days is definitely not the longest he’s been unconscious for, but it’s still a startling number to hear.  

‘What?’ He hears Leon exclaim.

“What?” He echoes looking from Mikey to Donnie, then repeats himself with another startled sounding “what?!”

Donnie grimaces, tapping away at his wrist tech.

“Somehow you managed to drain almost all of your ninpo.”

Donnie swipes up and a chart appears in the air, showing various grafts and pieces of data. Leo squints at it, trying to make sense of the data but his brain is still too muddled from the long sleep and unexpected news to really understand it.

“Donnie how did you even get this data?” Is all his struggling mind can think to say.

Donnie glances over at him, up at the projection, and then back to him.

“Don’t worry about that.”

He dismisses the projection, causing it to disappear in a shower of purple pixels. He finishes crossing the room so that he’s standing next to Leo’s bed.

“After you passed out, your ninpo levels were dangerously low. They’ve since slowly climbed back up to safe levels. But, Leo-”

He pauses and gives Leo a stern look.

“You need to be careful next time.”

“I thought the plan was to tell him not to do it again.”

“It’s Leo, Raph.” Donnie replies, with deadpan expression and voice. “Are we really going to be able to stop him? Let alone two of him.”

Raph blinks, and then sighs, rubbing at his forehead with his hand, looking like he’s only just realised what he has to deal with now.  

“No of course not.”

Leo thinks he should be offended but he’s actually just trying not to laugh. Bittersweet joy bubbles up in his chest as he watches the two interact.  The bitterness overwhelms the sweet, however, and he can’t stop the smile dropping from his face as he thinks of his own brothers.

His hands grasp the bedsheets tightly as he tries to move his thoughts away from the sore subject.

You just helped stop the apocalypse, he thinks to himself, you shouldn’t be sad now.

But he can’t help it.

Now that it’s over, now that he doesn’t have the imminent threat of an apocalypse looming over him, he can’t help his thoughts drifting back to his own brothers.

Brothers that he will never see again.

And he thought he’d made peace with that.

Thought he’d accepted that decision.

But it seems, perhaps, that he was just burying those emotions and now he has run out of space to hide them in.

“Sensei, are you okay?”

He blinks, the tension in his hands releasing as he turns to look at his student.

“I’m okay, Case.”

He stares back towards his brothers and blinks back the tears.

He’s not sure who he’s trying to convince more.

Raph must be done with his mini crisis, as he looks up at Leo and moves so that he, too, is next to the bed.

Leo tries to smooth his expression into something more neutral.

Raph leans over him, looking weary but determined.

“Promise me you’ll be sensible, Leo.”

Leo looks up into his oldest brother’s face.

“I promise.”

Raph stares at him for a moment longer, before he nods, seemingly satisfied at what he sees.

“Don’t break it this time.”

“Technically, I didn’t break it last time.”

Raph shoots him a look.

“You are technically the same person.” Donnie chimes in, looking smug.

“Yes, thank you Donnie.” Raph replies. “And don’t worry, Leon will be getting the same treatment when he wakes up.”

Leo pauses, and then smirks.

“He’s actually awake now.”

‘Snitch.’ Leon complains much to Leo’s amusement.

Chapter Text

The next couple of days pass in a weird sort of numb haze of recovery and disbelief.

After outing that Leon was awake and Leon claiming to be too exhausted to take over – which had an equal possibility of being the truth and a lie just to get out of a face-to-face lecture – Leo had been forced to sit through a second Raph lecture of the day. Though the feeling of utter betrayal and boredom radiating from the younger slider made the whole experience a lot more enjoyable for Leo.

And, if he was being honest, maybe he kinda – just a tiny bit – missed Raph’s lectures.

And sure, those last few years had been difficult, and those lectures brought a bitter taste to the nostalgia, but despite that he could not help but miss them… Just a tiny bit.

Okay maybe he missed them a lot, but he wasn’t about to admit that out loud to anyone.

At all.

He definitely didn’t want to give Raph any more reasons to keep yelling at him.

Though the combination of entertainment at Leon’s suffering and his own nostalgia had him fighting to keep the grin off his face. However, despite his best efforts, at one slightly nerve-wracking moment during the lecture, Raph had looked down at him, and the frown on his face had deepened into a scowl.

“Are you smiling?” He had asked in that typical fed-up big brother tone that had Leo fighting to control himself even further.

“Absolutely not.” He replied.

Raph had continued scowling at him for a couple more seconds before he launched back into his lecture.

He had sighed in relief at that, because as much as he missed it, he didn’t want to give himself any more to deal with.

Turns out, however, that his efforts had been pointless and, not long after Raph had finished, a frantic Splinter had come charging in the room, tears in his eyes, and preceded to give him another lecture. Telling him to never put him through that again, that he was grounded until he was forty – and he very wisely did not point out that he was technically already forty – and a variety of other typical upset dad phrases.

And then, after that pleasant experience, it had been April’s turn. She’d been forced to go home the first day of the almost invasion, so – although she would have preferred to do it in person – her lecture had to be done over the phone. And whilst it was nice to not have to look her in the eyes, being restricted to yelling down the phone at him had certainly not restricted her creativity or her anger.

But, after that, lecture Leo hour had finally been over, and life had sort of continued as normal.

If you considered recovering from an almost invasion whilst sort of stuck sharing a body with another person as normal. Which two of them did but that didn’t really make it normal, he supposed.

Either way, there’s not much for him to do over those days. He’s still a bit too hurt for anyone to be happy for him to move around too far.

He is also completely forbidden from ejecting his spirit from their currently shared body until Donnie can do more tests. And frustratingly, Donnie, in a surprising move from the test loving scientist, had refused to do anything until he recovered more.

And Leo understands that they are probably shaken from almost losing Leon, and then almost losing the both of them, but it is frustrating, nonetheless.

So now he has to figure out what to do to occupy his time, when he’s usually struggling to find even a moment to himself.  

And Leo has no idea what to do.

He’s used to leading a resistance, planning battles, and fighting to keep himself and others alive. Not relaxing, watching tv, and doing what he tended to do almost every day as a teenager. And, sure, they’d had some nights during the apocalypse where they’d felt safe enough to loosen up a bit and have fun, but there had always been an undercurrent of fear that something would go wrong. That something bad would happen.

At first, he tries to ease himself into it. Thinking, maybe slow and steady will work.

So, on day two since he woke up, and once he’s let out of the med bay – or once his brothers stop watching him so closely and he can sneak out of the med bay – he finds himself sat on a sofa, watching old Japanese game shows with Splinter.

And that works. Or it works for a while at least. The mind-numbing repetitiveness of it is just enough to drag his thoughts away from any distractions and allows him to sort of relax for the first time in, well, he’s not sure actually.

He just knows that it’s been a while.

Ans it is nice to spend some time with Splinter again. Even if they aren’t really talking to each other, and instead just silently enjoying each other’s company. And that is something he had never really enjoyed doing when he was younger. Watching Splinter’s shows, that is. Their interests in media had overlapped with Lou Jitsu films and not much else. Its refreshing, he thinks, to have this difference now. To be able to separate the Splinter from his younger years, or his own Splinter, from the one he has now.

It helps lessens the sting a bit.

It doesn’t take long for Leon to start complaining at being forced to watch – as Leon had so lovingly called it – old man shows.  And briefly Leo had felt guilty about it, and considered finding something else to do. But, he then thinks slightly vindictively after being called old (because forty is not old, thank you very much), if he was wiling to take the brunt of the Leonardo lectures earlier then the least Leon can do is put up with him watching said old man shows.

The next few hours or so – he looses track of time at some point which is its own kind of nice – pass quickly and comfortably.

The problem, however, is that Leo has never been the most patient turtle and, although years of being a leader and just generally growing older has helped calm most of that, he’s still not the most patient turtle in the world.

So it is not a huge surprise when he does eventually find himself becoming restless. And with the restlessness comes the inability to prevent his mind from wondering. The show that he had previously been so captivated by becomes an incoherent blur as his mind drifts. He finds it harder and harder to relax and it is only due to the glances that Splinter keeps sending him that he even realises that he’s been drumming his fingers against the arm of the sofa for who knows how long.

He winces and sends Splinter an apologetic look.

Sighing, he lets his head fall limp against the back of the sofa. He stares up the large arches of the subway ceiling, feeling tired and frustrated.

Why is this so hard, he thinks.

Mumbling a quick goodbye to Splinter, he pushes himself up from the sofa and goes to find something else to do.

He wanders aimlessly for a few minutes, trying to figure out something to occupy his time with. Eventually, drawn by the sound of clattering utensils and the sent of food, he finds his way to the kitchen.

Inside is Mikey, who is leant over the stove, completely focused on his task. Raph is also there, sat at the table and mixing something in a large bowl. Despite how intently the two seem to be focusing on their respective tasks, they both turn to look at him as he enters the room.

He hesitates.

Mikey smiles at him, looking pleased and happy to see him, before he quickly spins back around when the liquid in the pot on the stove begins to bubble.

Raph, on the other hand, frowns up at him.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” He asks.

Ah, that’s right, he forgot he was supposed to be resting still.

“Got bored.”

He eventually settles on saying because he is definitely not going to admit that he was just desperate to find something to distract himself with.

“Still as bad a patient as ever, huh.”

Leo grins at him. And, feeling a bit more confident, finally makes his way further into the room. He takes the seat next to Raph and leans forward, resting his elbows on the table and his chin on his hands, feeling content to just watch the two go about their tasks.

He is startled to realise how unusual this mundane task is for him now.

Or how weird it is just to sit and just watch his brother cook.

To not have to worry about when the next attack might be, or who they might lose next.

To just sit here and do nothing.

And the goal had always been for this to become normal again, to live in peaceful times.

But the thing is, he had always sort of expected that he would go out fighting and not live to see that peace. And maybe that’s a bit depressing of him, a bit defeatist, but the thought of moving on and living without his brothers by his side, after losing so many people, had been almost unbearable.

Especially with all the guilt he had carried.

And maybe still did carry.

But here he is now, living through that unbearable reality.

And he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

“Can someone grab me that pan from the top shelf?” Mikey asks.

“On it.” Leo replies, eager for something to do and desperate to get his mind off things.

He probably gets up from his chair too quickly, the legs noisily scraping against the floor, as he hurries over to the cupboards.

Stop thinking about it, he thinks as he walks, trying to drag his mind back to the present.

He gets to the cupboard with the pan and reaches up to grab it from its place on the very top shelf.

His hand meets empty air.

He stops.

Blinks.

And looks up.

His hand is still nowhere near the pan.

For one embarrassing moment, he cannot figure out why it is that he can’t reach. His mind can’t process the situation.

Then it hits him.

He’s- he’s not tall anymore.

He grimaces, ignoring Leon laughing in the back of his mind, and lowers his arm. Slowly, he turns to look behind him, hoping that none of his brothers noticed.

But he has no such luck.

Mikey is staring at him with a large grin on his face, the pan on the stove left forgotten. Raph is also grinning at him, biting his lip as he tries to stop himself from laughing.

He feels heat under his skin.

How did manage to forget his situation?

That he is currently in a much smaller body than the one he was used to.

After feeling some sort of sympathy for him, Raph gets up from his seat and moves to grab the pan himself. Leo let’s him, wanting nothing more than to curl up inside his shell. He moves out of Raph’s way and slumps back down into his chair.

At least that got his mind off things for a moment, he thinks, trying to be positive.

Mikey is still giggling quietly to himself as Raph hands him the pan. He cheerfully thanks his oldest brother and then turns to look at him.

“Thank you for the attempt as well, Leo.” He grins.

And Leo wants to be mad, or further embarrassed, and he is slightly, but it is so nice to see this version of his brother again. And all the negative feelings dissipate quickly.

Because whilst his youngest brother had always remained a bit more light-hearted than the rest, as the war had raged on, and as they lost more and more people, Mikey had become a lot more serious and a lot less like his younger self.

He watches as Mikey goes back to his cooking. He hums to himself as he works, looking extremely happy and content.

It had also become rare to see Mikey cooking towards the end.

As he had continued to use his mystic powers, and as it took its toll on his body, it became more and more difficult for him to work in the kitchen. With the trembling of his arms and the pain in his joints, he had found cooking to be more pain than it was worth. And, finally, with the dwindling supply of food, and with more need for Mikey on the battlefield, there had been no time or need to cook for fun.

And so it had stopped happening.

Leo frowns, staring at the thin almost healed cracks running up this Mikey’s arms.

And that had almost happened again.

The guilt begins to creep in, and that restless feeling begins to overwhelm him.

He clenches his hands into fists as the thoughts wash back in.

He had been so close to losing Mikey again. And he knows that he had made that decision, had ended up trusting that things would all work out okay, but the worst had still nearly come to pass.

He had almost lost all of his brothers.

Again.

He had even almost lost Leon.

And suddenly it all becomes too much.

He didn’t think that this would be so difficult.

He jolts up from his chair, startling both Raph and Mikey. He gulps, trying to sooth his suddenly dry throat.

“I’m feeling pretty tired.” He says. “I’m going to take a nap.”

It’s not the best excuse he’s made but it mostly seems to work. The two don’t seem to catch on to how truly freaked out he is feeling. Though they do both still look slightly concerned.

Mikey switches the heat off on the stove and turns to give Leo his full attention.

“I’m sorry for laughing.”

Leo shakes his head, hoping Mikey doesn’t start feeling guilty.

“It- its not that. I just...” He pauses trying to figure out what to say. Something that won’t make them worry more. Eventually he gives up and settles back on. “I’m just tired.”

Mikey and Raph glance towards each other, sharing a worried look. Raph sighs, pushing himself up from his chair.

“I’ll come with you.”

Leo shakes his head, taking a step backwards.

“No. No, it’s okay. You don’t have to come.”

And proceeds to leave the kitchen as quickly as he can without actually running.

He feels restricted and uncomfortable. And he wants to just curl up and process his thoughts but that’s nearly impossible with someone else basically watching his every move. With Leon seeing exactly what he sees.

And his brothers won’t stop hovering.

He knows that if he actually goes back to the med bay, it won’t be long before one of them end up there as well.

Which is just making the situation worse. Because they are one of the big reasons as to why he’s barely holding back from another freak out.

He feels like he’s constantly shifting between feeling guilt over the loss of his brothers, the guilt that he’s still living, and the joy of actually having accomplished something that he knows – or hopes – would make them proud.

And he knows that he should be over this. He had that big moment with his younger self and he had thought that it would have made things easier.

But it hasn’t.

Or maybe it has a little bit.

But he’s quickly finding out that having that realisation and applying it to reality are two very different things.

He just needs a moment.

To collect himself.

Or figure things out.

He isn’t entirely sure what exactly he needs but he knows something that might help.

So, he does something that he probably shouldn’t, and kicks himself out of their shared body.

And the next thing he knows, he’s staring down at Leon who stares back at him with a conflicted expression on his face.

He doesn’t stay to find out what, if anything, Leon has to say.

He has to find somewhere quiet.

And get away from things.

He decides to leave the lair and head up to the nearest roof in the end. Thinking that it is isolated enough to give him some space. It also has the added benefit of letting him see a large portion of the city around him.

And somehow that gets him to calm down.

Perhaps the years of being on guard, of always having someone on lookout, means that he finds a sort of comfort in being able to keep an eye on his surroundings.

He finds the restlessness abating just a bit, his mind clears, and he spots a familiar figure perched on the roof next to his.

He watches for a second, debating if he should go over or not. If his desire to be alone outweighs his desire comfort someone else. But in the end, it really isn’t a difficult decision to make, and he heads over to the other roof.

“Amazing, isn’t it.” He says, sitting down next to Casey, as he gazes across the vast expanse of New York City.

The boy startles at his sudden appearance, looking up at him with surprise.

“Sensei!”

He takes in Leo’s appearance, registering what he’s seeing. Then he startles, as he realises that he’s been staring for a while and switches his gaze back out to the city.

“It’s so different.” He says.

Leo follows his gaze.

He had almost forgotten how beautiful New York looked during the night. Back when things were peaceful. The sparkling lights and distance noise are soothing and calming in a way that he has long since forgotten about.

He sits back, leaning against his hands as the wind brushes against his face. The cool sensation brings a sense of calm and he is glad that he is actually able to feel it like this.

“It is.” He agrees.

He’s happy that the city appears to have only sustained minor damage during the invasion. He can only see a few buildings being repaired in the distance, with Metro Tower having received the worse of it.

He hopes, with how little damage there seems to be, that no one was hurt too badly either.

“It is nice to see you again, Sensei.” Casey admits.

Surprised, Leo looks at Casey who is looking back at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

“I know you’ve been here this whole time it’s just nice to see you as you.”

He looks away and rubs at him arm.

“It’s weird seeing you so much younger.”

“It’s weird being younger.” He replies. “I definitely prefer looking like this.”

He smiles and Casey smiles back. Though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He goes back to his nervous fidgeting and when he speaks again, his voice is quiet.

“It’s nice to know I’m not really alone.”

There’s a slight tremble in his voice that tells Leo that there’s more Casey wants to say.

He doesn’t want to push him, or cause him to close off from him, so he let’s the conversation drift back into silence.

The two are content to just sit in each others company until Casey is ready to talk.

Leo knows that he probably has a time limit, that he needs to get back to Leon before either of them pass out again but this is Casey, his student, and the child he helped raise.

He doesn’t mind taking that risk.

And perhaps this is exactly what he needed as well. Not space, or time away from people.

Just someone who can understand. Who is probably the only person who can truly understand him anymore.

And, sure, Leon has seen a lot of his memories, and probably understands to an extent but there’s a difference, he thinks, between seeing something and actually living through it.

It is also nice, he thinks, to be in the company of someone who he isn’t constantly comparing to a previous version. 

Who he isn’t mourning whilst they’re still alive.  

He draws his sword and looks down at it. He hadn’t been paying enough attention earlier to notice that the purple and red masks that he had carefully wrapped onto the hilt had lost their colour. That they were both now glowing shades of blue. He runs a hand across it, unable to really place how it makes him feel.

Because on one hand, he’s lost a large part of the connection to his own brothers. The lack of colour taunting him that they don’t and never will exist in the same way again.

But he still has a piece of them.

Or two of them at least.

And as changed as it is, as different as it now looks, its still them.

Still a part of them.

His hand grasps the long ends of the two masks, clutching them as tightly as he can.

He should cherish what he still has.

No matter how painful it is.

He sighs, sitting up straight, and sheaths his sword. Shuffling closer to Casey, he reaches an arm out and pulls the boy close to him.

Casey melts into his embrace, and Leo is so glad that whatever power let’s him touch his family, extends to Casey as well.

He can feel Casey trembling.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, tightening his grip slightly.

Casey sniffs, hesitates, but eventually speaks.

“I just feel kind of selfish. That I get to be here when so many didn’t.”

And Leo knows that emotion so well that it hurts. For it is an emotion he carries every day. That he has carried for many years. And he feels sad that Casey ever has to feel that way, but he is also so incredibly glad that he has to chance to. Because at least one of them made it. At least one of them gets to live their success.

And maybe he should include himself in that but... He glances down at his glowing hands and shakes his head. Perhaps that is a thought best left alone for now.

He has more important things to worry about.

“I know.” He soothes. “It’s hard but it means that we won. That everything that was sacrificed wasn’t in vain.”

Casey pushes away from him, and looks up at him with tears in his eyes.

“But no one else made it, Sensei! Not- not even you. Not really.” He runs a hand through his hair, looking distraught and confused. “And then I almost killed you again! I closed the portal and trapped you there! And- and even if it wasn’t technically you, it was still a version of you! And-”

His sentence breaks off, interrupted by a barely choked back sob. The tears are pouring at this point, and Leo knows that it won’t be long until he breaks down as well.

He shifts so that he is facing Casey and pulls him into a proper hug, tucking him against his plastron, in a move they used to do so often when Casey was small. And it’s slightly awkward now, with Casey’s longer limbs and taller frame. But he thinks Casey appreciates it anyway.

He places his chin onto Casey head.

“I’m so proud of you, Casey Jones.”

He can feel Casey’s shoulders shaking as his breath hitches.

“You did the right thing. You help save the world!”

“But Sensei-”

“You did the right thing.” He repeats, trying to emphasise his point, hoping that Casey will understand.

He takes a deep breath to steady his own trembling, to try and stop the ever increasing lump in his throat.

“I’ll always be with you Casey, no matter what happens. And I’ll always be so, so proud of you.”

He pulls Casey closer.

“Thank you for making it this far.” He says, choking slightly on the words. “I’m sure everyone else would say the same. That they’d be so please that you get to live here, free of all the danger. So embrace it, Casey. Enjoy that you get to live. That you get to just be a teenager. And know that we’ll all be cheering you on, evert single step of the way.”

And they remain like that for who knows how long, providing a comfort that only the other can truly understand.

Eventually, however, Casey moves away, and looks up at him with still watery eyes.

“Can you teach me, Sensei?”

Leo blinks, startled, and looks down at his student.

“Teach you what?” He asks.

“How to be a teenager? How to live in peaceful times.”

And Leo’s emotions do this weird uncomfortable flip between wanting to laugh whilst also bursting into tears. It had always been a hope that one day Casey would get to live a normal life, a life free of fear and pain and misery. And when he’d decided to send the kid back to the past that thought has briefly crossed his mind. And although the thought had been a comfort, he hadn’t allowed his thoughts to linger on it, thinking that he’d never get to see it happen.

And once he had ended up back in time, the idea had been lost amongst the hundreds of other thoughts that had been clouding his head.

But now...

It’s almost poetic, isn’t it? He’s been so stuck in the past (or future?) that he hasn’t even taken a second to consider what he has to focus on now in the present.

There’s a lump in his throat and he tries to swallow back the feeling.

He laughs, half in actual amusement, half to stop himself from crying instead.

“Its been a long time since I lived in peace, Case.” He half jokes, rubbing at his temples as he does. “And even longer since I’ve been a teenager.”

He sighs, looking out towards the familiar yet almost forgotten skyline.

“I’m probably just as bad as this as you are.”

Casey pauses, visibly considering his words, and then laughs. It starts small, as barely held back giggles, before throws his head back as it develops into full on laugh. Leo snorts, unable to stop himself, and joins in with his student.

And, really, it isn’t that funny, they probably shouldn’t be laughing this much but neither can help themselves, nor do they really understand why they are.

But it is freeing in a way.

The tension, fear, and grief that had been building up inside the both of them just drips away.

And it doesn’t fix everything, of course it doesn’t.

But it helps.

And that is enough for them both.

So here and now, under a moonlit sky, two souls, both in a world that should be familiar, and both with so much to learn and relearn, cannot help but laugh.

And once the laughter fades, they find themselves in a comfortable silence, as they look out over the world that they, and so many others, helped to save.

“Sensei,” Casey eventually says, looking nervous as he fiddles with his sleeves. “I was wondering...”

He pauses, glancing up at Leo who gives him a reassuring smile.

“I was wondering if we could build another shrine for everyone. As the other one doesn’t exist any more.”

And Leo doesn’t know what to say for a second.

“Though I guess everyone is still alive at this point. And it’s not really necessary any-”

“Casey.” He interrupts, placing a hand on his student’s shoulder, and suppresses a shudder at the memory the action brings back. “Its a wonderful idea.”

What they set up isn’t anything fancy or massively impressive.

It is just a small little shrine, placed next to the one that had been set up for Karai and other family members.

They don’t have any objects to place down, nothing to represent those that they have lost.

It is enough, however, just for there to be something.

It is enough to bring them both some sort of peace.

But, the next morning, when Leo sneaks out of the med bay again, he finds three carefully and neatly placed masks resting upon the shrine.

One red.

One purple.

One orange.

Chapter Text

Leon watches as Leo disappears around the corner, in a flurry of hurried movement and not even a second of conversation.

It is disorientating to say the least, to be so abruptly put in control, and he’s left feeling slightly nauseous and unsteady on his feet as a result.

He briefly contemplates going after but decides against it as he thinks he might actually fall over if he does anything more than a slow walk.

And anyway, he doesn’t think that the older slider wants to see anyone.

Especially him.

Which suits Leon just fine. It’ll be nice to have some privacy and his body back after two days or so of sharing it with someone else.

He glances back to where Leo left.

Some strange emotion bubbles up within his gut.

His hand clenches into a fist.

Letting out a breath that he didn’t even realise he had been holding, he turns on his heel and heads in the opposite direction of Leo.

“Are you going to go after him?”

Raph rings his hands together, staring out of the empty kitchen doorway.

“Are you?”

Mikey turns back towards his food with a scoff, clutching the wooden spoon tightly within his grasp as he stirs.

“And risk burning the food? No thanks.”

He can hear feint tapping sounds at the spoon hits the side of the pot. Can hear the scraping sound as it moved with enough force to hit the bottom.

Mikey’s hands are trembling and Raph can’t tell if it’s his tight grip or some other unidentifiable emotion that’s causing it.

“Mikey...”

Mikey sighs, tapping the spoon on the edge of the pot and placing it down on the work surface. He turns the heat down and then turns to face Raph.

“I don’t know, Raph, it’s just-” He pauses, shifting his stance and crossing his arms. “I don’t really know this Leo and he just... doesn’t want to talk.”

And Raph understands.

The issue is, Leo is hard enough to understand at the best of times. Add to that the years of fighting in an apocalypse and then being thrust back in time and the reluctance to talk about his own emotions has only seemed to increase.

Which, fair enough, Raph can’t even begin to understand what he must really be going through.

But it means that there’s a distance that Raph feels like he can’t quite reach past, or cannot get the courage to do so. Leo is so different that Raph still has no idea how to deal with him.

Or if his help would even be wanted.

“So we just give him time? Let him come to us?”

Mikey makes a humming noise of consideration.

“I guess so.” He says, sounding reluctant, that he’d rather do any but give Leo time.

And Raph is honestly impressed at Mikey’s restraint, at his ability to hold himself back. Mikey is usually one to bulldoze his way into someone’s problems – with the best intentions of course – and force them to sort those issues out. But here he is, talking a step back and letting things sort themselves out.

Though thinking about it, Raph doesn’t know if he’s impressed or worried at Mikey’s response, or lack of. Because how much is this effecting them, that Mikey of all people is backing down.

It is then that he hears the soft sound of footsteps slowly coming closer to the kitchen. He can’t hear the clicking noise of Splinters claws so it can’t be him, the noise is too soft to be that of someone wearing shoes so that leaves out April or Casey.

So that just leaves Donnie or Leo.

Either one would be unusual.

One having fled the room not even five minutes ago, the other having not emerged from his lab for a large majority of the day. And usually wouldn’t until Mikey went and dragged him out with the promise of food.

So, really, there’s only one option it can be.

But that doesn’t make him any less surprised when Leo emerges from around the corner.  

Raph blinks in surprise, and then tries not to outwardly react too much.

“Heyyy.” He says, wincing slightly as he unintentionally draws out the sound for too long. “I thought you were going to take a nap.”

Leo falters for a second.

“I, uh, changed my mind.” He says, moving further into the room but lingering between the doorway and the table, like he isn’t quite sure what to do.

“Can you help Raph with the bread rolls for tomorrow?” Mikey chimes in, much to Raph’s relief. “Raph got distracted.”

Raph glances down at the bowl of dough that lies untouched in front of him. Ah, that’s right, Mikey had asked him to shape them into rolls just before Leo had left and Raph had somehow managed to forget to continue.

“Sorry.” He apologises as Leo drops into he chair next to him and reaches in to grab a small handful of dough.

Mikey sends him a reassuring smile before turning back to the pot.

The room settles back into a comfortable silence, broken by the occasional chatter between the three of them, and Raph is pleased to see that the atmosphere is a little less tense than before, a little more familiar. Maybe Leo is finally getting used to things, finally relaxing. The small amount of chatter turns into more and more conversation. With Leo actually joining in this time.

But eventually Raph begins to notice that Leo seems to be getting tense once again and withdrawing back into himself. That his shoulders beginning to hunch upwards and each roll is crushed into a smaller shape than before, that each reply comes quieter and with less enthusiasm.

“Are you... okay?” He asks hesitantly.

“Fine.” Is Leo’s response, but it is spoken as if through gritted teeth, like he is trying not to let on how he’s truly feeling.

Raph swallows saliva, trying to sooth his suddenly dry throat.

“You can talk to us, y’know.” He says, trying to go for the gentle approach.

Leo exhales a harsh sounding breath. And Raph knows his brother well enough to recognise the noise as one of growing irritation or frustration.

“I mean it. Raph can’t really understand what you’re going through but I’m sure it can’t be easy.”

Leo looks up at him, his expression wavering briefly.

“That’s a bit of an understatement.” He jokes, voice softer but still quiet.

He doesn’t elaborate, however, and withdraws back into silence as he slumps further down into his seat.

Raph, unwilling to back down, tries to keep up the conversation.

“It must be pretty insane, travelling back in time, huh?”

“Raph...” Leo’s voice changes abruptly in tone, lowering into something more serious. He moves so that he is sat upright, his posture turning tense and fingers of one hand clenching tightly around the other. “Who do you think you’re taking to right now?”

Raph blinks, exchanging a nervous glance with Mikey who shrugs in return.

“Um... L-Leo?”

His expression shifts into something neutral.

“Leon.” He replies.

“Oh.” He sits up straighter in his surprise. “I didn’t-” He hesitates slightly when Leon’s face twitches but whatever expression he wanted to make, or had been trying to stop, is gone too quickly for Raph to properly make it out.

“-notice.” He finishes his sentence, voice turning quieter as he realises that he’s saying something wrong, that he’s upset Leon somehow.

Panicked, he looks over to Mikey again who just motions for him to continue speaking. Raph tries not to grumble at that because he’s been doing such a good job at talking so far, why not keep going.

He turns to look back at Leon who is frowning at him, obviously having caught his panicked look to Mikey.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Somehow, his brother seems to get tenser.

“I don’t know.” He grabs his mask tails in his hand and starts messing with them. “At first I just wanted to give Leo some time, I guess. And then the longer it went and you still didn’t notice I just...”

He sighs in frustration, crumpling the mask tails in his fist before throwing them back over his shoulder.

“It’s stupid. Don’t worry about it.”

He leans forward to rest his chin on the palm of his hand, making sure to face away from both Raph and Mikey.

And there are so many things that Raph wants to say in response to that. He wants to apologise but also defend himself because how was he supposed to know? But should he have known?

But then his brain catches onto what else Leon had said.

“What do you mean you wanted to give Leo some time?”

Leon’s shoulders tense up again.

“Is he... not with you right now?”

Leon sighs but turns to face him, face carefully blank.

“Nope. He’s elsewhere right now.”

And Raph, of course, begins to panic because why wouldn’t he? He saw what had happened the last time, when both versions of his brother had passed out and not woken up for three days.

They had been banned from doing it for a reason.

“What do you mean ‘he’s elsewhere’?”

Leon huffs out an irritated sounding breath. “I don’t know. He forced himself out and dipped. I don’t know where he went. Can we just forget about it for now? Let him do what he wants for a bit.”

“No we can’t just forget about it.”

And Raph is trying not to get too frustrated. But he can’t help but worry that Leon isn’t taking it seriously enough. But then a sudden thought occurs to him.

“Wait we shouldn’t be having this conversation now!” Raph exclaims, pushing himself up from his seat with a crash as his chair tips backwards.

Leon leans back in his chair, expression slipping into something more relaxed as he tilts backwards on his chair.

“Yeah exactly we should-”

“-Get you to Donnie!”

Leon’s sentence chokes off into a spluttering cough. His chair slams forward with a loud thud and the expression on his face tightens into something more serious.

And Raph knows that Leon doesn’t like being fussed over, that he takes every opportunity to avoid it in fact, so he takes advantage of his brother’s momentary surprise to scoop him up into his arms.

Leon struggles for a second, twisting in Raph’s iron grip but ultimately getting nowhere.

Huffing, Leon crosses his arms and goes still within Raph’s grasp.

Satisfied that he won’t be forced to drop his brother, Raph proceeds to head towards Donnie’s lab. As he leaves he hears the sound of the stove turning off and Mikey’s footsteps catching up from behind.

It doesn’t take long to reach Donnie’s lab, much to Raph’s relief.

And maybe he’s being a bit dramatic as he kicks open the door to Donnie’s lab but in Raph’s defence Leon may be on some unspecified time limit and Raph maybe, just possibly, could be prone to panic.

He just doesn’t want to watch as his brother – and he means either version of him – goes limp and unresponsive again.

“Thank you for knocking, Raph.” Donnie says, voice full of sarcasm.

He continues to face his desk, not bothering to turn to face them.

“We have a problem, Donnie.”

Finally turning around in his chair, Donnie startles as he catches sight of Leon in his arms. He jolts upwards, sending his chair sliding backwards on its wheels where it bumps into the desk.

“What happened?” He questions, flipping his goggles down and moving closer to them.

“Leo and Leon separated.”

“They did what?”

He pushes his goggles back upwards and turns to look directly at Leon.

“You did what?”

“Chill, it’s fine.” Leon replies. “I’m fine.”

He wiggles again, trying to get out of Raph’s grasp once again. This time Raph let’s him, and places him down onto Donnie’s now unoccupied chair.

“It’s not fine.” Raph sighs. “Don, can you run some tests.”

Leon splutters at being ignored but Raph leaves his attention on Donnie.

The lab settles into a slightly uncomfortable silence.

After many tests, all of which Leon had reluctantly gone along with, Raph finally manages to calm himself down.

From what they’ve managed to discover, it seems that although Leon’s ninpo is draining, it is doing so slowly and steadily. It seems that, as long as the two don’t exert themselves too much, they can afford to spend some time split apart.

Not that Raph is still overly comfortable with the current situation. For the longer it goes on, the more risk there is of things going too far once again. And Raph does not want to risk that happening for a second time.

“We should probably find Leo.”

“What why? Donnie’s stupid tests say I’m fine.”

Raph sighs, trying to push down his growing irritation, and ignoring Donnie’s offended mutter of “they aren’t stupid.”

“Why do you keep fighting against this?”

“Because it’s fine.”

Raph feels the last threads of his patience begin to snap.

“It’s not fine, Leon.” He pauses, considering. “Why are you so insistent on giving him time?”

“I don’t know. Why does it matter?”

“Because you’re being stubborn about it when you two didn’t even get along to start with, but now you’re defending him putting and the both of you in danger.”

“I’m not in danger.”

Raph sighs. He doesn’t want to get into another argument with Leon but he knows he has to try and get his point across.

“Look, Leon, when you entered the portal and shut yourself in there, I’ve never been more scared.”

Leon turns to look at him from the corner of his eye and Raph takes that as encouragement to keep going.

“And then when we could hear you through the comms, I was proven wrong.”

Leon is fully facing him now, with a wide-eyed look of surprise on his face, and Raph suddenly realises that Leon hadn’t known that they could heat him. But Raph has so much more to say and so keeps going.

“And finally, we got you back and the relief Raph felt was incredible but then you collapsed, and Raph was proven wrong for a third time. I-” He pauses, taking a moment to try and wet his suddenly dry throat and shove back the emotions that are threatening to swallow him.

“Leon that was the worst moment I’ve experienced since we- since we lost gram-gram. Not knowing if I was about to lose you too. So when you sit here and fight against me when Raph is only trying to keep you safe, I want to know why.”

He’s panting slightly by the time he gets to the end of his sentence, having spoken in almost one breath in his need to get his feelings and emotions out. He looks down at Leon, who is staring resolutely at the floor, his hands clenched into fists.

“Leon?”

His brother says nothing and Raph tries not to let himself get irritated.

“Is it us?”

Leon’s head finally snaps upwards at Mikey’s hesitant question.

“What?”

“Is it us?” He questions “He keeps acting weird around us. Are you giving him space from us? Does he hate us?”

“Yes. No. Look, he doesn’t hate you it’s just...” He pauses. “He’s lost all of his brothers, of course he’s gonna be weird seeing you guys.”

“Because of the time travel?”

Leon pauses, an expression of pain and grief crossing his face. He opens his mouth, inhales as if he is about to speak, then closes his mouth again. He glances towards Donnie, then Mikey, and then back to Raph.

He hesitates for a second longer before finally speaking.

“No.” He shakes his head. “No, he was the last one left.”

And Raph had known, of course, that he hadn’t survived in the future, and had come to accept that fact by now. But to know that Donnie and Mikey hadn’t survived either is a painful thought that Raph had not ever wanted to consider.

His heart breaks, and hundreds of thoughts and worries cross his mind.

But, honestly, it just makes Raph even more protective of what he still has.

“Even so, its probably been long enough now. We should really get you back together.”

Leon sighs, the fight draining out of him, but when he speaks, there is still a hint of irritation within his voice. “Fine. Okay. I’ll go find him.”

Raph goes to follow but Leon sends him a look that has him freezing on the spot.

“I don’t need an escort.”

When Raph doesn’t move again, Leon turns and stalks out of the room.

Raph tries not to feel too guilty as he watches him leave.

Leon, of course, does not go and find Leo.

Instead he heads further down into the lair towards his room. Which he hasn’t been in for days now.

He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his growing emotions.

He just needs a moment to himself.

Or, really, he doesn’t want time to himself. He wants to spend time with his brothers when there’s no life or death situation on going.

But they just keep wanting him to swap with Leo and he just... he just can’t deal with it anymore.

He needs to take a moment before he snaps and causes them any more reason to... He sighs, trying to push his thoughts away from that line of thinking.

He takes a deep breath, trying to ignore the tightening of his chest.

He finally makes it to his room only to hesitate as he reaches the threshold when he catches sight of the inside of the room.

His clothes are strewn about the floor in complete disarray. Some completely scrunched up and crumpled where they lay, others are discarded halfway out of the draw and no longer folded neatly.

He takes a step into the room, staring numbly at the chaos that fills it.

And, okay, his room hadn’t really been the cleanest place in the world. Between moving lairs and the stress of suddenly being the leader, keeping his room clean had been much less of a priority. But he’d been slowly starting to regain control over that, just before everything had gone down, and he’d been proud of the – admittedly small – progress that he had been making with it. So to this it like this. To see all his progress reset back to almost the beginning...

He takes another deep breath to try and calm himself and moves further into the room, squinting as a light reflects into his eye. Confused, he takes a cautious step closer to investigate. Spotting a flash of light on the floor, he bends down and picks up a shard of a mirror.

He frowns, gaze traveling upwards as he follows a trail of small glass shards towards his full length mirror.

It’s cracked.

A thin spider web crack takes up the top part of the mirror, obscuring his face when he stands up and moves closer.

He reaches a hand out, and places it down into the centre of the break.

It’s just a mirror, he thinks.

It’s just a mirror but a raging emotion begins to churn inside his gut.

Everything has changed.

And Leon is starting to feel like he is being left behind in favour of someone else.

Of someone better.

And part of him knows that isn’t true. That his brothers love and care for him. But that scared and angry part is louder.

Screaming that he is being replaced.

That they don’t want to spend time with him anymore.

That Leo is stronger and a good leader and just overall a better person than him.

And worries that Leo wants to take his place.

And he knows that isn’t the case, knows that Leo hates this as much as he does, that he actually does care about him now, but he can’t help it.

And he hates it.

Because he honestly feels sympathy for his older self, it’s hard not to when he’s seen so much of the awful things he’d been through.

And maybe if things were still the same as they started, then he could justify his fear but he knows that he really doesn’t have anything to worry about.

But it doesn’t help that his brothers keep pushing to keep the two of them together.

He just... He just wants to spend time with them without having to worry or talk about Leo or the Krang or anything else related to the almost world-ending invasion that he could have caused.

He thinks he might be jealous of his older self.

Jealous that Leo gets to spend time watching stupid shows with Splinter – and he didn’t even like the show, why is he getting upset over it – and relax in the kitchen while Raph kneads bread and Mikey cooks a delicious meal.

He hasn’t even been able to eat one of Mikey’s meals in days, now that he thinks about it. He has just been forced to watch through numbed senses as Leo enjoyed those meals instead.

He pushes away from the broken mirror and stumbles towards his bed on wobbly legs. With a grunt he collapses down onto his mattress. Blinking back the tears he grabs a blanket and wraps it around himself, curling up as much as he can.

Soon things will go back to normal, or their new normal at least, and Leon will keep on acting like everything is okay.

That those stupid jealous thoughts – that he doesn’t even fully believe to be the truth – are not becoming too much to handle, that he’s not even thinking them to start with.

It’s fine. He’s fine.

But he can’t quite convince himself of that.

Chapter Text

The Hamato family settles into a weird routine. It’s a weird sort of new normal where everyone seems to want to get back to normal but they also keep waiting for something to happen, to go wrong.

Yet nothing does.

Raph continues to focus on and worry over Leo, and Mikey finds himself feeling relieved that he isn’t the only one on the receiving end of Raph’s big brother instincts.

And life continues on.

Mikey wakes up that morning feeling that weird sense of anticipation but continues on his normal routine, hoping that everything will stay safe, that nothing bad will happen.

He wanders into the kitchen, still slightly sleepy, and begins to make breakfast for the family who slowly enter the kitchen in their usual order.

First comes Raph, the earliest riser after him. Today he is closely followed by Leo, which means that it is definitely Leo in control as Leon tends to wake up much later. Finally, Donnie and Splinter trail in at almost the same time, both having probably gone to bed late after doing something in his lab and watching tv shows, respectively.

Though he is relived, at least, to see that neither of the two look tired enough to indicate that they didn’t sleep at all.

And the kitchen falls into a normal sleepy morning routine as Mikey serves breakfast.

But the peace cannot last, however, and it begins – or perhaps the end begins – as it all started, with a shrill beep sounding from Donnie’s wrist tech.

The room freezes, all eyes darting towards Donnie who startles at the sudden attention before he – with obvious reluctance – looks down at the source of the noise. He begins to tap at the screen of his wrist tech, and the tension in the room increases.

Mikey puts his cutlery down, suddenly not hungry as his stomach churns with worry. He notices the rest of his family doing the same.

“We have a-”

Donnie pauses as he glances up at the group surrounding him.

“My motion sensors have gone off.” He swallows, looking nervous. “I’m getting images of weird zombie-like creatures that are heading right towards us.”

He doesn’t immediately catch on to what Donnie is trying to imply at first. Perhaps the days of peace stopped him from thinking of the worst, had relaxed him into a false sense of security, allowing him to briefly forget about that awful day.

It is only when Leo draws in a sharp panicked breath that Mikey realises what the implication is.

“The Krang.” Leo snarls, voice hard but there’s a hint of fear that Mikey catches.

Donnie nods. “Yeah... but how?”

“It’s...” Leo pauses, running a hand across his face. “The Krang can... take over people... turn them into zombie-like versions of themselves with no free will.”

He stands up from the table and begins pacing, once again looking much older and tired than his youthful appearance would suggest.

“When we didn’t see them in the battle I... I didn’t think. I thought they just-”

He straightens up, expressions slipping from his face to be replaced with a serious determination.

“We need to fix this. Before anything worse happens.”

Predictably, no one immediately moves or reacts to that statement. They just stand in a tense silence, waiting for someone else to start, all thinking that maybe if no one does anything, the threat will go away.

Even Leo hesitates, looking tired and reluctant.

Despite himself, Mikey cannot help the burning anger and frustration that begins to grow in the back of his mind. Because how is this fair? They’d just saved the world, just began to relax, and now they have to potentially do it all again?

It isn’t fair.

Why did this have to keep happening to them? Why couldn’t they just be happy and live their lives safe and stress free.

But he also knows that isn’t an option. That they are probably the only one who both could and would do anything to help.

He just hopes that nothing bad will come of it.

And it is as if there is some unspoken cue, that they had all been thinking similar thoughts, but the room seems to snap back into motion as one.

“What’s the plan then?” Raph asks, turning to Leo and getting up from his seat.

“We need to leave immediately.” He states, voice firm. “Donnie can you give me the exact location?”

Donnie nods and gives the location. And, with a nod of confirmation from Leo, it all begins again.

The lair erupts into a flurry of hurried movement as they all rush to grab their weapons and follow after Leo.

“So these Krang zombies...” Donnie says. “Are they curable?”

“No.” Comes Leo’s harsh sounding reply. “Once you’ve been taken over there’s no going back just...”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, instead he trails off, shoulders tense and hands clenched tightly at his sides. Mikey suddenly fears what his expression could be and what his brothers reaction implies.

He wonders, despite himself, just who Leo had lost in those very circumstances.

He dreads the answer to that thought and knows that he cannot and should not ask it out loud.

Instead he follows along quietly and tries not to focus too much on the dread building in the back of his mind.

It will be okay.

It has to be okay.

He can feel the torrent of emotions flowing from his older self. He keeps catching brief glimpses of some memory; flashes of terror and fear, of something pink and red, and of pain and overwhelming regret. But the images disappear before he can get an actual glimpse at them.

Despite the relief, however, he cannot help the frustration that follows the realisation that it means he doesn’t know what’s coming.

And cannot do anything to defend his family from it.

He’s stuck here, as usual, letting someone else do all the work.

“You’re looking tired, old man, maybe I should take control of this one.” He tries.

“No. Absolutely not.” Leo responds, voice harsh and reminiscent of when they had first met.

Leon tries not to flinch.

But he’s nothing if not stubborn and determined, and he is tired of sitting on the side-lines.

“Aw, come on.” He keeps pushing. “Don’t you think it’s time I had a go controlling, y'know, my own body.”

“Leon.” Leo’s reply is sharp and tense. “This is too important. Just... Next time okay. Let me handle this one.”

Next time? He thinks, metaphorically sitting back to stew in his own frustration. He shouldn’t have to wait until ‘next time’ to pilot his own body.

But he knows that Leo’s will is stronger than his own, and he’s sure that any attempts to forcibly take control would end in failure.

He hates this.

And although he trusts Leo, trusts that he’s doing what he knows is best, Leon cannot help that creeping dread that consumes him.

It is like those restraints are being tightened around him once again, restricting his movements and making him fear that he will never be free again.

And he knows, distantly, that it isn’t true.

That it wont always be like this.

But with every moment it goes on, with every time he’s pushed back, he cannot help but fear.

“We’re here.”

Leo’s voice is quiet but it snaps him out of his thoughts.

He blinks back to the present and finds himself staring down a dark subway tunnel.

There’s a faint noise in the distance. A sound of shuffling and faltering footsteps. And then several shapes appear out of the darkness.

Leon doesn’t know what he had been expecting, hadn’t really been able to imagine what these creatures would look like. He had briefly imagined the zombies you’d get in horror films, or exact replicas of the Krang’s themselves. But he would never had considered this grotesque combination of the two. A bulbous pink fleshy creature covered in piercing yellow eyes and sharp-looking limbs.

Every instinct within him is screaming for him to back up, to run away, but Leo stands his ground and stares unblinking as they creep ever closer.

Only, once the creatures come closer he discovers that they aren’t as mindless as they initially appeared to be.

The Foot Lieutenant raises up to his full height and regards them with a cold eye. Little globs of pink ooze drip from his covered limbs and an eye on his chest blinks at them.

“Well if it isn’t just who I was looking for.” Comes his raspy voice.

He grins, teeth sharp and deadly.

“I should thank you for freeing our minds from... unfortunate circumstances.”

The Brute and the remaining soldiers creep up from behind him, creating a slightly intimidating wall of half human half zombie like creatures.

Leon wants to take a step back, wants to escape. He had never been intimidated by The Foot Clan before, or at least by any of the individual members of it. And he doesn’t know if it’s the resemblance to the Krang and the terror that comes from then, or their grotesque appearance, but right now, they form an intimidating wall of opponents and Leon can’t help the fear that threatens to consume him.

But, of course, he can’t do anything to act on that fear, or do anything to overcome it, either. He can only sit back to watch through numbed senses as it all happens.

It is still just as disconcerting now as it was when it started.

“So instead of thanking us you come to try and find our home and attack us.” Leo responds.

The lieutenant laughs. “No hard feelings, I hope, but we can’t allow an enemy to get away. Especially after ruining our plans so often.”

With that said, he lets out an inhuman snarl and charges towards the group. Leo meets him head on, and metal and flesh clashing together with massive force.

Leon can help but find himself drawn into the fight. Despite the lack of control, despite the slight numbness of his senses, he finds himself forgetting that is isn’t him in control. That he isn’t the one fighting to protect himself and his family.

He sees Lieutenant swinging an arm down towards him out of the corner of his vision and thinks ‘dodge’.

Leo ducks out of the way of the deadly swing, the sharp edge just barely missing the end of his mask tails.

“Nice catch.” He hears Leo mutter as he swings his sword upwards and forces Lieutenant backwards to give himself some breathing room.

Leon tries to squash down the feeling of pride that begins to swell within the back of his mind at the praise. It is nice but coming from his older self also just brings forward those bitter feelings. Because that should be him fighting, and him making that dodge.

But he knows that it isn’t the time to focus on those feelings and allow himself to get distracted by them.

So he let’s himself fall back into the rhythm of the fight, begrudgingly accepting that his best way to feel included for a change is to try and simply act as another pair of eyes.

To help in what little way he can.

(And perhaps bury those feelings of jealously and guilt.)

Soon he once again falls back into his training and instincts. Dodge a hit there, swing his sword, and watch out for any other opponents trying to sneak up behind him.

It is then that he just barely notices a foot soldier lunging at him from almost out of his range of vision. He curses to himself, frustrated that he missed it before it was almost too late.

In fact, he has almost no time to do anything but react.

He wants to yell, wants to warn Leo of the oncoming danger but he knows that by the time he calls out the warning that it would be too late.

But he has to do something.

He can’t just sit back and watch.

The thoughts of frustration, and guilt, helplessness, and the need to just do something boil over and he reacts.

Without really even thinking about it, or realising what he’s doing, and perhaps forgetting for long enough that it should be impossible to control anything, he reaches up and grabs hold of the sword still resting within it’s sheath and slices downwards into soft Krang-like flesh.

The foot soldier falls to the ground with a spray of green ooze and a cry of pain.

Leo, meanwhile, pushes Lieutenant away and jumps backwards.

“What was that?” He asks, slightly out if breath.

“I- I don’t know. I just...” He pauses as he looks down at his right hand. “Reacted.”

“But how? I don’t understand.”

There’s a scoff and then the sound of someone jumping towards them. The Lieutenant brings his sharp limbs down towards them and Leo raises his swords up to block the attack.

“If you’re finished talking to yourself can we continue this battle.” He snarks, pushing his weight onto his limbs to try and break through the block.

“I’m not talking to myself.” Leo retorts, shoving back with as much strength as he can manage.

He can see his swords flickering blue as he shoves back with more and more force. Faintly he notices that the markings on his arms are glowing yellow and blue but he doesn’t really register that fact, nor does he dwell on it.

With a wordless yell he pushes the lieutenant backwards and off balance and, in the same movement, Leon flings his right sword forward and teleports over to it.

Now behind Lieutenant, he attempts to swing his sword into the unguarded back, only to miss by barely an inch as Lieutenant lunges forward in a last second dodge.

He growls, immediately charging back into the battle. He lunges forward, bringing both of his blades upwards in long arching swing. A long sword-like limb is swung down, hitting his blades with a heavy clang. The two battle for power over the other. Eventually, he gains enough strength to get close enough to kick out one of his legs to hook around his opponents leg and knock him to the floor.

He has a brief moment to feel triumphant satisfaction, only to suddenly find himself also being thrown down to the floor as a clawed hand grabs around his ankle and pulls.

He lands of the dusty floor with a harsh thump, just barely missing slamming his head into the subway tracks. His swords go skittering across the floor and out of reach.

He wheezes, the wind briefly knocked out of him by the harsh landing. He kicks, slamming his free foot into Lieutenant’s face to get him to release his ankle. Lieutenant lets go with a grunt and growl of pain and he takes that opportunity to roll over to his plastron and crawl away.

He attempts to push himself back to his feet but a solid mass slams into his back and the two go tumbling across the dirt. They tussle on the floor for a few more moments before Lieutenant manages to pin him down, his sharp teeth inches from his throat.

“Give up, you pathetic little turtle.” Lieutenant snarls, snapping his jaw, and acting more animal than human. “Struggling is pointless.”

He kicks and pushes, trying to get out of the iron-like grip but he can’t get quite get the strength, with Lieutenant’s Krang-like abilities giving him that brief advantage.

It is as he is struggling that he catches a glimpse of metal in the corner of his eye. It takes a second to process before he grins up at Lieutenant.

“Yeah, just keep telling yourself that.”

With a surge and flash of blue ninpo, he teleports towards the nearby sword. In one smooth motion he grabs the sword and rolls to his feet. He then swings around and thrusts the blade downwards into Lieutenant’s shoulder, and then plants his foot onto his chest, to prevent any other attempts at getting back up.

Lieutenant snarls and struggles but cannot get up and he grins down at him triumphantly.

“How’s that for pathetic.”

His foot presses down a little bit harder.

“Leo!” A voice calls, and he snaps his head over to see Mikey rushing over towards him. It is then that he also notices the remaining Foot Clan members all tied up or defeated on the floor.

“Are you okay? I saw you struggling but couldn’t get over to help.”

He blinks.

“We weren’t struggling.”

Mikey looks slightly surprised by that and, as he comes closer, the worry only seems to grow.

“Yeah sure. Also why are you all glowy?”

He startles, looking down at himself and his arms. All his marking are still glowing that unusual yellow and blue colour. Strange, he muses, that he somehow forgot about that. He thinks, trying to figure the phenomenon out.

“It... Leon did something.” Leo says

“You reacted as well.” Leon replies, trying to think back.

“Sure, but you started it.” Leo muses as the events slowly come back to them. “When you moved our right hand.”

“And then everything sort of blurred together, right?”

“Right.”

He turns to look at Mikey.

“We’re not really sure what’s happening but it looks cool right?” He poses as much as he can while trying to keep most of his weight on Lieutenant.

But when he finally takes in his brother’s expression, he realises that Mikey is staring at him with confusion and slight horror.

“What’s wrong?”

Mikey doesn’t respond immediately as he swallows nervously and looks him up and down.

“Which... Which one are you right now?”

He’s taken aback by the question for a second, because surely it’s obvious – though some part of him stings with bitterness at the question – and he frowns.

“I’m Leo.”

“I’m Leon.”

He pauses blinking at the two sentences that come out of his mouth, one immediately after the other.

“I’m the one in control.” Leon says, sounding panicked and afraid.

“But... so am I.” Leo’s response is slightly calmer but the undertone of worry is unable to be hidden.

And now that he is thinking about it he isn’t sure who he’s meant to be right now. He can’t figure out where Leon ends and Leo begins, the two of them somehow both piloting their shared body yet at the same time, neither of them are.

He is someone new, yet not. Both Leo and Leon and all their memories and experiences and personalities and ideas.

And yet, neither.

And that awareness, that realisation, tangles them further but also causes some of the threads to begin to break.

“What is this?”

He wobbles slightly and takes a stumbling step forward towards Mikey.

“I don’t-”

                “Calm down, Leon, it’s okay we can-”

                                                                          “No!”

He stumbles again, though somehow manages to stay standing.

Leon’s fear begins to bleed through the cracks. His minds begins to spiral into panic as Leon starts fighting his way outwards.

“No I don’t-”

                   “-stop struggling we-”

And it’s all he – they, no he – can focus on. That sudden panic and fear of ‘what is going on? I don’t want this. Let me out.’

He ignores the distant attempts of soothing from Leo. Ignores the pleading to ‘calm down, stress is making it worse.’ Because this is everything that he feared, everything he wanted to avoid. He doesn’t want to be someone else.

He’s him, he’s Leon – Leo, Leonardo, Blue, Nardo – not... not some broken reflection of who he could be if he was better – or worse – and a good leader and fighter; Someone who people actually wanted.

He fights and struggles, headless of the world around him. He kicks and shoves against the restricting feeling of the numbness that tries to blanket his mind.

This can’t be it.

This can’t be the end of him.

He can’t... He can’t d-

There’s a loud crack that he vaguely registers, the sound of something moving, and the desperate screams of his name.

His body jolts – though he is certain that he isn’t the one who does it – and half staggers, half lurches towards the left.

But it isn’t quick enough.

There’s a sharp sting in the lower half of his right arm.

Then, for a moment, nothing.

Finally, the world snaps back into focus and he jolts back into reality.

His arm stings and pulses with pain and he suddenly dreads looking downwards.

But he does anyway.

It is fine for a moment.

And he almost let’s himself feel relief.

But then... then his gaze trails further downwards.

And he comes face to face with the fact that, from the middle of his forearm downwards, there is nothing.

His hand is completely gone.

Mikey has never been scared or intimidated by any of his brothers before, never even considered that it could ever be a possibility.

But, this very second, Leo is proving that idea incredibly wrong.

If he knew this would be the outcome he never would have walked over to his brother, never would have asked the question that had him going completely silent and then acting as if he was in the midst of a nasty panic attack.

But how would he have ever expected that answer? He had never considered that they this could happen, that two could become one.

And then, he shudders, and then there had been a sudden movement from behind his panicked brother – or brothers? – and the sword that had been stabbed into Lieutenant’s shoulder had been removed and the half-human half-Krang creature had lunged towards his distracted brother with a swing of a razor sharp limb.

He vaguely recalls calling his brother’s name, and he thinks he heard other voices yelling too.

But it is too late.

None of them are quick enough.

Leo stumbles at the impact, staring down in a numb horror at what remains of his arm and Mikey finds himself trying not to be sick.

Lieutenant is cackling from behind Leo, relishing in his joy and sudden victory but Mikey is frozen to the spot and unable to do anything to stop him.

Leo’s eyes roll back into his head, he stumbles slightly once again, and Mikey thinks that he may be about to fall over, or pass out. But the slider catches himself with a stumble. He stops moving briefly as he stands there breathing heavily and harshly through his nose.

“Leo?” He questions, voice small as he reaches a hand out.

Leo’s shoulders hunch and then relax as he begins to draw himself up to his full height.

When he looks up, Mikey’s blood freezes in his veins as he catches the thunderous look on his face.

He has never seen his brother look like this. Never seen him so enraged.

“What did you do?” He says, voice low and deep enough to almost be considered a growl.

Lieutenant laughs. “What was that about not being pathetic?” He taunts. “Seems pathetic to me and I simply took advantage of that fact.”

This time Leo does growl, his marks begin glowing and flickering with a fierce intensity that casts his face into a dark shadow.

Mikey can no longer see what expression he is making but finds himself still intimidated and slightly fearful nonetheless.

Leo teleports with a flash of light, appearing over one of his discarded swords. He leans down to pick it up and then, once he retrieves the sword and stands back up to his full height, he turns fully, so that he is facing his opponent.

He clenches his sword in his remaining hand so tightly that Mikey can see his knuckles turn pale.

“Pathetic, huh? You attack a child with his back turned and you call me pathetic?”

Leo takes a step forward and the air begins to feel thick with anger, fear, and tension.

Lieutenant finally seems to realise his mistake, and the grin slips from his face to be replaced by fear.

He takes a step backwards.

And, despite himself, Mikey finds himself taking a step backwards, too.

The blue and yellow of his ninpo glows brighter as blood drips freely to the floor. Yet Leo pays neither of those any heed, his eyes and attention locked only on one thing.

“Let me show you pathetic.”

And Mikey can only watch, horrified, as Leo lunges.

Chapter Text

.

                                   .

“Le-Leo you can stop now he’s-”

.

                                           .

                                                                                  .

                                                                                                      “-gonna bleed out if we don’t-”

                                        .

                             .

                                    “-be careful he’s about to-”

                .

.

              “-rest, please. We’ll-”

                                                     .

                                        .

                                               “-help him recover from this?”

 .

               .

                             .

                                      “It’ll be okay.”

                                                                   .

                               .

.

“But what if-”

    .

               .

                    “-this isn’t safe? We should-”

                                                                    .             

                                .

.

“-fix this.”

.

          .

                  .

                            “But... can we?”

                                                        .

                                                                    .

                                                                              .

                                                                   .

                                                  .

                          .

“It will be okay.”

.

                            .

                                                 .

                                                   “Please be okay.”

                                    .

                .

.

“Leo-”

          “Leon-”

                     “My baby Blue-”

                                             “Little brother-”

“Nardo-“

                 “Leonardo please-”

                                                            “Wake-”

“-Up!”

.

.

He doesn’t fully register that he’s conscious at first. His brain is a blanket of fog and his thoughts keep slipping away from his grasp.

His entire body is comfortably numb but he can feel the soft blankets pressing lightly down onto him. He feels cosy and safe and moving or waking up is absolutely the last thing he wants to do. Sighing contentedly, he goes to shift onto his side but, as he does so, a sharp and awful pain shoots up his right arm.

He jolts abruptly into full consciousness, the pain knocking away the comfortable pull of sleep.

His eyes snap open and he is greeted by dim lights and a white ceiling.

He’s... in the med bay?

Again?!

He groans to himself, frustrated, he just got let out of the med bay and now he’s back? This is the last thing he wanted to happen.

He screws his eyes shut while he takes a deep breath and moves his hands to rub against his eyes. Only when he should be feeling the scaly touch of his fingers pressing against his face, he instead feels the soft texture of what can only be bandages. He frowns, suddenly realising that he can’t actually feel his hand or fingers.

He tries to wiggle them, hoping to feel something, but there’s just a numb emptiness.

His initial thought is that perhaps one of his brothers must have tied the bandages too tight. That his fingers had gone numb as a result.

But there’s another thought that screams to him that something isn’t right with that idea. That he’s missing something obvious.

He knows that he needs to look and see for himself, but that other part of him is scared to.

He takes another deep breath.

He can do this.

It will be fine.

One of his brothers just wrapped his hand wrong, that’s all.

He can do this.

He opens his eyes.

It takes him a second for his brain to process what it is that he’s seeing.

At first he thinks that his theory is correct, that his brothers attempt to help has potentially caused more issues, but then it clicks that the two hands held above his face are not the same length.

What...

This can’t...

He must be seeing things.

Surely he’s just seeing things.

Denials keep looping in his head. Catching and stuttering in a glitchy painful loop of desperate yet dying optimism.

Or perhaps desperation is the more accurate word as he claws desperately against the raging tide.

And like the torrent he struggles against, the memories drip

                           drip

                                     drip

                                             back into comprehension.

He remembers fear, and pain, and that blank numbness of not knowing quite who he is.

Of confusion, of memories that are his yet not.

Of acceptance and fierce denial.

Of a struggle against the inevitable, raging against fate and everything that he feared becoming real.

And then pain.

Followed by darkness.

.

.

.

.

.

He blinks back into the present.

Everything is blurry.

His eyes are wet and he can feel the trail of salty tears trailing down his cheeks in into his mouth as he breathes heavy and panicked breaths.

He can no longer deny the truth.

But he so desperately wants to.

Needs to.

He clutches his arm, fingers digging in the bandages.

The stinging the action taunting him with the harsh reality that it brings.

He grabs on harder.

Hoping, pleading – despite everything – that this is all a dream, a messed up nightmare that he’s stuck in.

And that he’ll wake up and none of this will have happened.

And not... not the last thing his mind is telling him that he remembers at least.

This can’t...

...But it is, isn’t it.

He messed up.

If he had just sat back and accepted things as they were he wouldn’t be here right now.

Wouldn’t- wouldn’t be in this situation.

Stupid.

The stinging increases into borderline agony.

The pain increasing with every thump thump thump of his rapidly breathing heart.

But he does not care.

Or perhaps he is slightly numb. Too numb, to really feel it.

Perhaps, even, it is a bit of both.

(or maybe, truly, he’s just lying to himself)

Either way, the point still stands, he does not care.

He’s so stupid.

Why did he fight.

Why couldn’t he have just been a good little leader and done what was best for him, for everyone, for... for who?

He doesn’t...

His breath catches in his throat as he chokes back a sob.

He doesn’t know what to do.

He doesn’t know how to fix this or even if he can fix it.

But....

“-eo!”

But...

“Leo!”

He blinks.

The tears drip at the motion, and his vision clears.

For a second all that he can process is red and green.

His mind so foggy and distracted that his thoughts seem to lag, like they’re on a delay, and it takes herculean effort to drag them forward with him.

He blinks again, eyes feeling sore and heavy.

“Are you back with me? Are you awake?”

He gives his head a tiny shake.

“I don’t want to be.” He croaks out, voice wavering and weak but he pushes the most pitiful ounce of humour into it as possible.

Raph – and he finally manages enough of a thought to recognise his brother – gives him a soft smile.

“Can you let go Leo?”

He blinks, the feeling of Raph’s hand on his arms registers within his mind.

He tilts his head downwards, catching a glimpse of crumpled white bandages, a splattering of red, and a trembling hand.

He jolts his eyes back upwards, catching Raph’s eyes, and moves once more to stare at a distant wall.

“Leo?”

He releases his grip.

His arm (or what’s left of it) throbs with pain.

Raph breathes a sigh of obvious relief.

“Thank you.”

There’s pause and despite not looking Leo can feel Raph’s eyes on him.

“How are you feeling?”

How is he feeling?

He opens his mouth, closes it again, the words suck in his throat.

How... how does he describe how he’s feeling?

His mind is a maelstrom of emotions that not even he can fully comprehend.

He sad but happy that he’s still alive.

Angry but completely emotionally drained.

Tired and lost and confused.

Just wanting to escape but feeling too trapped and confined to even consider it.

“Leo?"

He twitches his head in a pathetic attempt at shaking it.

“I’m... fine.” He says, knowing that he isn’t fooling anyone but filled with a need to do so anyway.

Raph makes a noise that he’s too tired to translate.

“I’ll call Donnie to redo your bandages.”

A shuffle of movement in the corner of his eyes, the murmur of a voice that he cannot stand to listen to.

His eyes drift downwards again, locking with an almost morbid curiosity on his arm... or what’s left of it.

He resists the urge to touch it once more.

“Leo?”

He jumps, startled, and looks back up at Raph.

He hadn’t even heard him come over.

“It’s good to see you awake. I missed you so much, little brother.” He admits with faint tears in the corner of his eyes.

He wants to ask how long it’s been, but the moisture gathering in the corner of Raph’s eyes, the shaking of his limbs, and the ache in his injured limb makes him fear the answer.

So he stays still and silent.

And ignores his problems.

“You just missed my good looks and charming wit.” He teases, trying to drag himself back into normality.

He’s not sure if it works.

“Maybe not that much.” Raph teases back.

(and he ignores the stinging at the jab, knowing its meant light-heartedly, that he started it, that it wouldn’t usually be an issue.)

“Sureeee.”

Raph expression softens at that, his large and gentle hand coming to rest on his arm.

He looks up, despite himself, catching his big brothers gaze.

“You’ll be okay.”

And that emotion, that indescribable emotion that had been bubbling up inside him spills over the edge, breaking the damn once again.

And he finally recognises, amongst the torrent, just what it is that keeps dragging him back down.

He’s... angry.

Or perhaps something more... or maybe something different.

But in this moment, sat in the med bay once again, as the reassuring words of his brother wash over him, anger is all he can understand.

“it’s not okay.”

He says, voice soft and quiet, belying the smouldering rage of his true emotions.

For once he does not shy away from looking into raph’s eyes.

“It’s not okay.” He repeats, louder, harsher. Breath beginning to hitch once again.

“How is any of this okay? I don’t-”

He stumbles over the words in his need and desire to get them out.

To be understood.

“My hand is gone, Raph! I almost caused the end of the world. Or maybe I did cause the end of the world? Either way I messed up and I keep messing up!”

The words come out as a snarl, sounding desperate and choked with all his feelings and emotions.

“And then-” He has to take a moment to pause, to breathe in and out. “I’m stuck here like this in this body – in this situation – and it just. Keeps. Getting. worse!”

He huffs out a breath and blinks back the stinging.

“So how is it okay, Raph. Tell me because I don’t know any more.”

Raph opens his mouth, then closes it, looking startled and taken aback.

In normal circumstances he would have felt bad for causing him more stress when he had been so clearly happy to see him again.

“We can fix things... we can... Donnie’s been working on a prosthetic, we’ve been researching, and you’re alive, Leo. We stopped the apocalypse and you’re still here. Isn’t that what’s important.”

It is?

He doesn’t really know anymore in this confusing maelstrom his existence has become.

Is he even-

He blinks, swallows, and clenches his hand tightly into a fist.

There’s a question on the tip of his tongue but he cannot quite force himself to say it.

“But what comes next?” Is all he can force outwards into the tension filled air. Not quite an agreement but not a disagreement either.

“I can’t stay like this. I don’t want to stay like this. But what else is there? You don’t...”

He looks up at Raph, who is looking him up and down, trying to see something but he isn’t sure what.

“You don’t even know who I am right now, do you?”

Raph blinks in surprise.

“But you haven’t even asked, you’ve just been calling me Leo out of habit.”

Raph seems to not know what to say to that. Just stands there, confused.

“I don’t... Who are you right now?” his brother asks

And the rage and fear bleed together.

“I’m me!”

He says back, desperately and borderline yelling as he chokes on hiccuping sobs.

“I’m me...” he repeats, quieter, almost defeated.

He blinks through blurred vision, the feeling of cold and salty tears dripping down his face and into his mouth. His hand clutching tightly against skin, nails digging in painfully, though he doesn’t truly feel it.

“Leo.” He states, voice cracking and beginning to fail him. “I just want to be Leo again.”

He turns his face away from Raph, tries to ignore the tears and overwhelming emotions.

He stays silent for the rest of the time that he is awake.

For once, grateful for the hazy numbness and soft blanket of fog that the pain medication brings him. Where he can pretend that the world around him doesn’t exist, that his problems are nothing but a persistent nightmare.

He ignores his brothers, his family, and the guilt that doing so brings.

Ignores, desperately, just how distant their relief filled hugs are beginning to feel.

And, finally, he ignores the looming sense of dread that somehow, for some reason, he’s running out of time.

(And does not notice, despite everything, just how quiet his mind has become)

Chapter Text

There’s a static surrounding him.

Pulsing and screaming.

Pushing against his entire body, his entire being.

He’s numb, yet he cannot stop screaming into the darkness, into the silence.

Into the world that he can no longer comprehend.

Within the static, within the hopeless aching of a smothering loneliness.

Unable to do anything as the play reaches its climax, the curtains begin to fall, and the lights fade as it all comes to its inevitable end.

He’s too tired to fight.

To do anything but accept the way things are.

Finally accepting the inevitable.

Just watching as the darkness creeps ever closer as the curtains drop further and further down.

He waits.

Floating in the static.

In pain.

Yet feeling nothing but numbness.

And then

A gentle light.

A warm embrace.

The curtains pause in their descent.

A hand reaches out and takes hold of his.

He pauses, shaking the fog and clinging static from within his mind.

No, not quite his mind...

Their mind.

Or minds?

He isn’t sure. They aren’t sure.

A voice pierces through a barrier that they did not know existed and the hand holding their(his) own squeezes tighter.

He’s so incredibly lost.

So confused and tired.

But the prickling needles of the puppet strings fade and the static recedes to a quiet murmur in the very back of his (their?) mind.

And something clicks.

Something shifts.

And the inevitable becomes less tangible.

Two souls, in painful sync, splinter and fall apart in a harmonious dissonance.

Although it might not be permanent, for the scales have not yet managed to balance out, they are free.

Hamato Leonardo

both of them

come back to a separate coherency.

And take a moment to just breathe.

Leo – or leon? That’s right he’s leon now – pushes himself up on weak and shaky arms, tripping slightly when one arm does not catch him where it should.

He blinks the spots and static from his vision.

And looks up into a familiar face.

“Hello again, Leonardo.”

He blinks again, staring into the soothing green glow.

“Oh.” He says, voice small, and suddenly shy. “Hi gram gram.”

He swallows the lump in his throat, feeling calmer than he probably should be.

“Am I dead?” He finds himself compelled to ask.

Karai’s smile is kind as she sits herself down before him.

“oh, my child, you have been through so much but death is not a hurdle you should be made to face just yet.”

Her hand reaches towards the stump of his own and he allows her to take it.

“And one I hope you shall not have to face for a long, long time to come.”

She pauses, fingers rubbing soothing motions into his skin, as she keeps her eyes locked upon his.

He cannot look away either.

“But a choice has to be made. And I’m sorry that it has to be this way.”

“What decision?”

“I cannot answer that. You will have to figure it out yourself. And that goes for both of you.”

He startles, turning to look over his shoulder to find his future self towering over them both with a look that Leon cannot quite describe upon his face.

“You knew this was coming.” Karai says, voice firm but not unkind. And when Leo turns back to look at her, the expression on her face is still awash with sympathy as her gaze flicks from him up to Leo.

“Good luck, both of you.”

The gentle pressure on his arm disappears and in a blink Karai is gone.

Leaving him alone once more with the source of all his problems.

And also, apparently, the potential solution to them.

The silence looms heavily in the air, draping over them like a heavy shroud that weighs them down.

 Leon draws his arm back towards his plastron and clutches it tightly with his other hand, already missing the warmth of a friendly and comforting touch.

He sits back, slumping down on himself, just taking a moment.

To breathe.

To blink away the tears in his eyes.

To allow the bubbling and overflowing rage to build up towards the surface.

“You knew.”

Leo sucks in a surprised breath behind him.

“what?”

“You knew, didn’t you, what was gonna happen.”

He cannot bring himself to look back at his future self, to see whatever reaction is on his face.

So he continues to stare sharply into the ground, wishing he could break it with looks alone.

Wishing that he could draw up the courage to face this head on.

But that’s not who he is.

Isn’t it.

A coward who hides behind a faceman facade. Playing games and dancing around the truth. Too afraid to look anywhere but himself. Not noticing the trail of damage and destruction he leaves behind himself.

“Leon I-”

“You what?” He snaps as he curls tighter in on himself. “Didn’t expect me to find out? Thought I’d be accepting of it?”

“No. No I would never.”

“Wouldn’t you?” He snaps back. “You seemed pretty keen when we first met. And it turns out you knew this would happen!? That I’d just cease to exist!”

“Leon, no, I wouldn’t-”

“But you knew!” He interrupts again. He finally turns his head around, not quite able to look Leo in the face, but too filled with rage to ignore him any longer. “Didn’t you.”

Leo splutters for a second, the fingers on his prosthetic hand twitching with his nervous energy.

“Yes. No. I didn’t-”

Leo pauses, taking a deep breath as Leon ignores the churning in his stomach.

“I needed to fix things.” Leo finally says into the frigged and tense air. “I needed to make it up to everyone... To you.”

“Well good job with that.”

Leo sighs and slumps down into a sit. Leon tilts his head away again.

He can’t... He doesn’t want to see Leo’s face.

To have his resolve crumble.

Because he knows, deep down, that this isn’t Leo’s fault, or his fault completely. There are just so many emotions churning inside of him that they’re getting mixed up and confused and coming out as nothing but rage.

He can’t truly tell what he believes and what he doesn’t anymore.

He hears Leo shift behind him. He tenses slightly and almost unconsciously, shifting away slightly as he does.

“I’m sorry that this started the way it did. I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I was trying to help. But I realise now that I got so focused on that goal that I... that I hurt you.”

The words should be a comfort.

A reassurance.

But they sting.

Rubbing in the fact that Leo can move on whilst here’s stuck here, in this paradoxical limbo of unwanted rage and acceptance, still tightly grasping at that unnecessary grudge.

“Don’t.” He forces out, biting down on his cheek hard enough to taste blood.

“Don’t what?”

Don’t what? Even he isn’t sure.

He just wants get his words out. Get rid of the painful emotions that he’s been shoving deep, deep down inside for so long.

Because he’s Leo.

The faceman.

The unbothered jokester.

He enjoys being dramatic. Pretending to wear his heart on his sleeve.

But it’s too much now.

And he doesn’t know where to even begin.

“To do what, Leon?”

And he isn’t sure if it’s the name that does it, or the reminder of Leo’s presence. Maybe it was both or maybe even none.

“Don’t apologise after everything. After how little has changed.”

He sniffs, breath hitching, and vision blurring as the dam breaks and the emotions spill forth.

“After all the confusion and lies. And don’t even-” He swallows against his dry throat, feeling like he needs to do something to help the words from where they feel stuck in his throat.

“It’s like you took over my life. Continue to take over my life. And do nothing but give me false apologies as nothing changes apart from me losing more and more of myself.”

He sniffs again as the tears fall, shoulders shaking as he tries to hold in his sobs.

“Because who am I anymore because not even I know! Am I me? Am I you? Some combination of the both of us?”

He pauses, panting, and upset.

“Am I even the same person I used to be? The person I was when this all began? The one who you hated so much.”

“Because I don’t want to be.”

He realises now that he’s finally looking Leon in the eyes.

“I don’t want to be someone else.” The rage simmers within him. Still there but calming just slightly. “I just want to be me.”

He breathes, blinking as his eyes sting, glaring at the other turtle sat before him.

“But you can’t even let me have that. You parade around in my body, living the good life, enjoying mine. Whilst I’m stuck here, stuck in this situation.”

He gestures with his arm, now cut off before his hand.

A painful reminder of everything that’s happened.

What the inevitable future could be.

“And becoming more and more like you with each passing day.”

He cannot stop talking, cannot stop the rage. As it flows freely outwards.

“But no one cares do they? It’s always shouldn’t you be together? Where’s Leo? Why are you here? Because all they seem to care about now is you.”

“That’s not true.”

He knows, deep down, that it isn’t. That his family’s words stem from their worries but... but it’s so much.

He wants freedom and safety.

He wants to be himself.

Do what he wants and not have to worry with every passing moment.

To not be restricted, restrained, and bound to the whims of someone else.

But he doesn’t want anything to happen to Leo, either. He knows that as well. He doesn’t want to be responsible for Leo having to leave... for him to leave Casey behind... again.

“I know. I know. I just.”

He pauses again, hand clenching and unclenching with his nervous energy.

The anger is summering down even further. Developing into a calm background annoyance tinged with fear and sadness and so many other indescribable emotions.

So he just does what he does best

And continues to talk.

“I... My room is a mess, you shattered my mirror, my brothers don’t want to spend time with me anymore, and- and I don’t even get to use my own name anymore.”

He runs a hand gently over his now much shorter arm, catching Leo shift slightly towards him out if the corner of his eye.

“It’s as if some stranger, some imposter, has just taken my place and no one gives a damn about it but me.”

Leon’s words are bitter and hate filled, days of bottled up frustration lingering in his words and leaving a bitter taste upon his own tongue.

He hates this.

Hates him.

Hates everything that he can and everything that he shouldn’t.

“I hate you.” He shouts, words wavering and tinged with desperation. “I hate you.”

He doesn’t.

“I want my life back! I want my family back.”

He pants, staring up into the void of a sky – the sky that brings back thoughts of false stars and painful hopelessness.

“I just want normal back.”

And..

Ah...

There are the tears again.

Dripping unrestricted down his face.

And displaying his true fear for Leo to see.

He doesn’t know what to do...

But throw his fate into the inky darkness once more...

“I get we’re the same person and all and I know that those aren’t your intentions but I can’t help it. I’m just jealous where there’s nothing to be jealous of.”

Leon rubs his arm again, fingers trailing up towards his shoulder.

“And... I’m scared of becoming you... of no longer being me.”

The silence lingers.

The tension thick and suffocating.

But...

Freeing, perhaps, at the same time.

A relief to get it all out in the open.

No matter the consequences.

(And he definitely isn’t lying to himself. Isn’t terrified of what may come next... Of being left behind and forgotten.)

It’s fine.

He’s fine.

He’s curling in tighter against himself, fingers digging almost painfully into his skin.

It’s fine

It’s fine

It’s fine

It’s fine

It’s-

“Leon.”

He jumps, started, feeling his heart dropping into the pit of his stomach and fear increasing.

There’s a sigh and a shuffle, the sound of Leo taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.”

...what?

“I am so sorry.”

He looks up, not sure what emotion he feels as he sees the look of what can only be described as horror upon his face.

“Dammit, I didn’t- why did I not-”

The silent draws in again.

Leo’s fingers twitch.

This isn’t at all how Leon had expected things to go.

“Leon- no, Leo, I am so sorry.”

That uncomfortable pit laying heavily within his stomach loosens slightly.

A hand touches his shoulder.

He flinches but does not move away.

“I never really said it directly to you did I? Never really explained myself. Or let you get a word in. You just...” He pauses, expression softening and eyes glistening. “You just accepted it and I never questioned that... I...”

He pauses, looking as though realising something important.

“It’s not about me...” He says slowly, words filled with a dawning horror as the two lock eyes.

“The sentence I lived by and the sentence I forced upon you.”

He releases a shuddering breath.

“I was mean and cruel – however unintentionally – and I thought I could make it up to you, by what, stealing your life? Sitting around watching shows with Splinter, making food with your brothers. Making it... making it all about me.”

He cannot look away from the other, stunned by the words that come tripping out of his mouth.

At the complete and utter regret held within them.

Instead of the glee or contempt that he had been bracing himself for.

“I’m sorry, Leo, I’m so sorry.”

Oh...

The torrent from the broken dam really, truly, and finally runs out. Slowing into a trickle as the waters calm around them. As a peaceful silence descends.

He can suddenly breathe again.

They can breathe again.

Or it’s so much easier at least.

So, the past takes that first step this time and reaches out and embraces the future.

He’s still scared, of course he is, but that vast and empty darkness seems so much more bearable.

Less terrifyingly familiar.

And more... comforting.

“I don’t hate you.”

                                      “You have every right to.”

“I know but... I don’t... I think.”

.

.

.

.

.

                                  “we’ll find a way to fix this.”

“But what about you?”

.

             .

                         .

                                    .

                                               .

                                                     “It’ll be okay... Just... I’m so proud of you kid. There’s no one you have to become... No improvements to make... You’re just you... Just Leo... And I’m so proud of who you are... no changes necessary.”

.

.

.

.

“you’re getting cheesy in your old age, huh.”

A jokingly offended sounding gasp.

“how dare you.”

A giggle.

“You’re so cheesy we could make an extra large pizza out of it all.”

“Oh I’ll show you cheese.”

The sound of movement, a gentle hug turning into a playful scuffle, the sound of knuckles rubbing against a scaly scalp.

Giggling and playful protesting.

As the curtains close for the final time.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“Did we mess up?”

Donnie and Mikey look up from their various locations within the messy room. The quiet murmuring of the show playing on the screen providing a comforting background noise.

“Mess up what?” Donnie asks peaking over his goggles to give Raph a look.

“With Leo.”

He flounders for a moment, unsure of how to express himself. To explain the worry that’s churning inside of him, of the thoughts spinning around his mind.

“Is it the hovering?” Mikey pipes up from where he’s reclining in a bean bag chair, magazine that he’d been reading put face down onto his plastron as he gives Raph his full attention. “You’ve both been hovering around Leo it’s like he’s the youngest suddenly.”

Donnie makes a noise of protest and Raph feels that guilt dig in deeper.

He hadn’t even noticed but now that Mikey has pointed it out he realises that he had been more protective than usual.

The fear and stress from all that had happened.

That moment when he thought he’d lost Leo.

The moment it had happened again.

And again.

He just... didn’t want it to continue happening.

He couldn’t take it.

“Yes, no-” he shakes his head “that’s part of it but not what Raph meant.”

He taps a finger against his leg, letting the repetitive action sooth him and bring his thoughts back on track.

“I couldn’t recognise him.”

And he’s still so mad about that fact, mind racing back to that moment. Where Leo had looked so distressed and distraught.

So desperate.

And Raph had blundered his way through it all.

What kind of big brother was he?

“He’s scared of what’s gonna happen next and Raph couldn’t even reassure him.”

How... How had it got to this point?

The room slips back into silence.

He sees the dawning realisation upon both Donnie and Mikey’s faces.

“But we’re fixing it.” Donnie states matter-of-fact, gesturing to his computer screen.

“But Raph didn’t recognise him, Donnie. Multiple times now. And I could at first. We could all tell things were different. But now? I don’t know where one ends and the other begins.”

The silence looms again, heavy and overbearing.

“It’s because he’s changed.” Mikey reveals to the room, sounding nervous as he does.

And, oh, the realisation hits him like a brick.

He recognises, with a dawning horror, that his leo had become so hard to recognise because he was beginning to hold the same sadness, the same pain, that his older counterpart wore like a cape.

And Raph had done little to help him shed it.

Or little to give him reason to.

He really was an idiot.

After everything Leon had been through, everything he continued to live through, it was no wonder that he seemed to different to the Leo of before.

That what they had witnessed when Leo’s arm had... when they’d seen the consequences of their situation.

He had even praised the change.

What had he done.

“We need to fix this.”

Donnie and Mikey look as determined as he feels. But...

“Where do we start?”

He’s never been great at coming up with gifts and fun things to do, especially as of late.

“I’ve got this.” Mikey says, jolting up from his seat.

“Donnie!” He points at their purple brother, who startles at the abrupt noise and movement. “Keep doing what you’re doing!”

Donnie gives Mikey a confused yet determined salute.

“Raphie...” Mikey turns his gaze towards him, a fierce fire burning within his eyes. “You and I are gonna organise a little pizza party!”

.

               .

                               .

                                            .

                                                         .

                                                                    .

                                                                            .

                                                                                  .

Leo blinks back the tears as he puts on that familiar happy facade.

The joy is real.

Of course it’s real.

He is so happy with how things turned out.

But he does not want to ruin the moment.

Ruin Leon’s moment.

Anymore than he has already, at least.

Because he’s had his chance.

A stupidly unfair one, he’ll admit, but a chance nonetheless.

A chance to let all the fear, and rage, and all those lingering emotions, out into the open air.

He hadn’t really realised, until this point, just how much Leon had been keeping to himself.

He feels sick and awful, his eyes keep darting back to what remains of Leon’s arm.

And to have this happen because of him, of his presence was... was horrific.

If he hadn’t been there, hadn’t been in this situation, Leon would still be uninjured and happy and healthy.

He gazes up into the darkness catching glimpses of orange and green lights as they dance and flicker just beyond his reach.

I know, he thinks to them, not long now.

Because maybe...

He pauses, swallowing against his suddenly dry throat.

Clinging onto the happiness and ignoring the pain.

Maybe it’s time.