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Peter watched the unrecognizable phone on the table as Neal stepped in, half walking half typing on his laptop.
It looked…very high tech.
And unfamiliar. It looked like alien tech.
And a bat symbol? Or a crow? In a circle?
Which meant it either was prototype or a villain’s device.
“Neal. Do you know what that thing is?” Peter cautiously backed up from the man.
“Hm.”
“Neal!” Peter whisper-shouted.
The man finally looked up and took off his fedora, seemingly confused.
“What, Peter? I have alot to do so, can we lay off the you know, con man bad thingy?” Tim drawled, with a slight tinge of bitterness to his voice.
The phone rang, catching his attention, causing him to recognize the Bat-Tech.
He had designed it after all. The teen sighed and clawed at the air angrily.
Tim picked it up despite hushed whispers not to.
“Yeah, its not on speaker. No I’m not alone. Thanks for being so inconspicuous by the way. Really hugs and kisses.” Tim walked around the dead silent room in frustration, very out of character.
“You nearly blew my cover! No! No, Daniel no. Of course, my knee is not okay you punched it. No, that wasn’t a compliment- oh my god just tell Sam we’re still on tonight okay? Hate you too.”
“So. Neal.” Peter demanded, raising an expectant eyebrow.
Tim just shrugged and slammed the phone into a drawer as it began to ring again.
“Tough boyfriend?” Diana asked. Tim turned to her very, very slowly, face blank.
“Excuse me?” Tim stared right into Diana’s eyes, making the woman feel uncomfortable.
“You know it’s okay that you like both men and women-“ But before Diana could finish there was a loud laughing noise from the…vents?
“Oh come on, man. It was one day. One! Just one little day for me all to myself before I went back home. And everything goes to fucking shit.” Peter gawked at the use of vulgarities from the man.
Tim grabbed his hair in a very ‘CEO of Wayne Enterprises’ way and shouted for Dick to come down, employees sending him some very peculiar looks.
“Dick! Dick come down you piece of shit!” Peter watched as the con man screamed into the vents.
He watched in absolute shock as Neal ripped off the vent cover and reached in.
And a full grown man tumbled out of the vents shaking in laughter. He wasn’t too muscular in a bodybuilding way; instead he was lean like a gymnast, which was probably why he could fit into the vents.
“Incest isn’t fucking funny man. Dick. Stop. Dick. Dick stop laughing or I’m telling Agent A what you did last night.” The man abruptly stopped laughing and glared at Neal. Peter was scared. Was a fight going to break out?
“I don’t believe you, You wouldn’t.”
“That sounds suspicious,” Jones murmured.
“A crime? Again, Neal? With this man? Who is he? An accomplice? A partner?” Peter listed all the possible things the man could be.
“I’m a cop!” Dick cheered, pulling Tim into a quick-hug that he half heartedly returned.
“Tell us the truth; no way Neal’s friends with a cop.”
“Friends,” Tim snorted.
“Friends who live under the same roof, sharing the same dad and same siblings, but friends,” Dick added, making Tim laugh.
“This is the FBI office. State your purpose or we will have to use force.” Peter snapped, hand lowering to his gun.
“I’m his boyfr- I can’t do this man. I can’t.” Peter watched in disbelief as Neal just stood there, glaring at the man rolling on the floor dramatically.
“Man, that was one good laugh I hadn’t had in a long time. Hey, want me to edit your pics so that you two are kissing?” Tim made a face of repulsion.
“Shut up Dickface, before I edit you making out with Bruce.” That shut the man up immediately.
“You wouldn’t dare.” Dick clutched his chest, glaring up from the floor.
Tim shook his head. He would. It was his dignity on the line.
“You guys? We’re still here.” Tim laid down on the floor with Dick.
“I literally dont care. Hey Dickface?”
“Yeah Replacement?”
“Don’t. When I die can you ingrain ‘Coffee is in my bloodstream, We love pizza in the morning,’?”
“Is that the Pizza Kids?”
“Oh they still have guns at us. Is Demon Spawn coming?”
“I dunno. He might be here ‘ready. Why? You gonna make out with him?”
“Dick, thats disgusting, let it go.Peter, stop glaring at me. Its like 8 in the fucking morning. You guys are never gonna let this go are you?”
“Yeah. He’s probably glaring down-oh look there he is.” Peter watched as Neal approached yet another vent, this one on the ceiling and a child came tumbling down, shouting vulgarities at Neal in an unidentifiable language.
“If you were here, couldn’t you, I dunno, give me the phone? Learn proper human interactions Daniel. This is why you have no friends,” Tim said, shaking his head.
“Bold of you to say that, Caffrey. You have no more than two acquaintances.” ‘Daniel’ poked Neal hard in the chest.
Neal pushed ‘Daniel’ to the ground, evoking some loud protests.
“Neal, thats a kid!” Said kid leapt up at Neal and elbowed Neal.
‘Dick’ watched this in boredom, waiting for the silent but prominent notification that the limo had arrived.
“Guys? The cars here. Can someone help me get up? Stop brawling.”
Tim sighed in exasperation and grabbed Dick’s feet, dragging him out, Damian sitting on Dick’s stomach.
Peter watched them leave, frozen, hand becoming numb from his hand just above his waist.
“So.. I don’t think their dating.”