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“Why did you do it?”
A lone periwinkle eye just gazed out of the window, watching as the clouds moved. He smiles at the sight of a bird nest where a family of birds were resting.
“I just wanted to be free.”
The older man gripped the fabric of his pants, glaring at the ground but not out of anger nor hatred.
“Why didn’t you come to me, Kaeya?”
Kaeya turns his head to face his estranged brother, the smile already gone. “And what will you do if I come to you again , Luc?”
“I–”
Memories flashes right before the redhead’s eyes, memories he tried to suppress.
“Stop seeking attention! Cutting yourself won’t bring our Father back!”
Tears rolled down the younger one’s cheeks, “L-Luc, it’s not- I-I’m not seeking attention… I-I’m just.. I don’t know!”
“THEN FIND A FUCKING WAY TO FIX YOURSELF AND STOP BEING SO MISERABLE!”
The younger one hitched a breath before trying to reach for his older brother but the older one had already turned his back and walked away. “P-Please… Brother…. I’m sorry… I-I need you…”
Diluc shakes his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I-I was wrong, Kaeya. I was so wrong. I didn’t understand how serious your condition was before and I really regretted it. A-After you moved out from our manor, I thought everything was already alright on your side.”
Kaeya smiles again but this time it didn’t reach his healthy eye as the other was covered in bandages together with his head. “It’s alright, it’s already in the past.”
“It’s not alright! What I did isn’t fine!” Diluc exclaimed, finally facing his younger brother and finally realizing how dull Kaeya’s eye had become. The shine was no more.
Kaeya chuckled, “You don’t have to lie… Luc.” he told him before spreading his arms, “See? I’m still alive!”
“What if you didn’t survive the fall?!” Diluc asked him as he raised his voice again.
Kaeya just blinked before placing a hand under his chin, “Then that’s it for me, I guess?”
Diluc covers his face with his hands, trying to stop more tears from falling. “Why are you so nonchalant about this…? You almost died, Kaeya! I-If we didn’t get there in time… I-If we didn’t solve your silly riddle.. T-then we could have been too late…”
“Ah yes… That silly riddle. I wonder how you solved that though. Let me guess, Albedo and Mika helped you?” Kaeya asked, grinning a bit.
Diluc just nodded quietly.
He was doing his part-time job in Angel’s Share when a few familiar faces went in. Jean, Amber, Lisa, Mika, Albedo and the twins. The group seems to be talking about something seriously until they are seated in front of him.
“What may I get for you?” he asked, placing a clean glass down.-
Jean bit her lower lip before looking at the others. They all nodded and each of them placed a familiar envelope on the counter. He raised an eyebrow, these are the letters that Kaeya distributed to them a week ago. He also got his own but he has not opened it since he was busy with his part time job. Knowing Kaeya, it’s probably just some teasing remarks about him.
“Diluc… W-We had a hunch that Kaeya left some kind of hidden message in his letters.” Mika told him as he stuttered.
He crossed his arms before asking, “What made you say that?”
“The last two to four lines we all coincidentally have are a part of a song called ‘The 30th’.” Albedo explained before spreading out the letters on the table in different orders. “But we’re missing certain stanzas… that one might have the answer we need. Didn’t Kaeya give you a letter too? Have you read it yet?” he asked.
“No. I didn’t have the time to.” Diluc simply answered, earning a frown from Jean and Lisa and a glare from Amber.
Amber placed her hand in front of her, “Where is it?”
Diluc sighs, “It’s in our Manor, inside my room. I still have a job to do so we’ll do that later.”
Amber quickly stood up, “No, let’s go right now! I-I have a bad feeling about the letters, Diluc! You can just let Charles handle your job for tonight! Please!”
The mentioned man turns his attention to them, “You can go early if you want, Master Diluc. I can handle tonight’s bartending.” he told Diluc.
“But–”
Soon the others stood up and Amber rounded around the counter and grabbed him by the wrist, “Come on! We need to hurry!”
Diluc groaned as he let himself be pulled out of the Angel’s Share. The group headed towards the Ragnvindr Manor and as soon as they arrived, Amber pushed Diluc towards his room.
“Okay, okay! Stop pushing me! We’re already heading there!” Diluc snapped to Amber but she only pouted.
Once they are inside Diluc’s room, Diluc immediately gave Amber his letter and she snatched it rather quickly before opening it. But she hesitated and handed it back to Diluc, remembering privacy. Diluc sighs as he takes the letter back and reads its content. His confused expression soon turns into shock.
‘He still blames himself for what happened four years ago…?’ he asked himself.
He looked at the short phrases or sentences at the end of the letter. It must be what the others are looking for. On the right side of each line are random numbers but before he could read it again, Amber took the letter again as she muttered an apology before giving it to Mika for him and Albedo to read into.
It’s a weird feeling to have the words engraved in his brain… What could Kaeya wanted to say with those lines?
On a bridge, where there wasn't a rail in the way? (22)
What if you were remote? No one knows where you are (26)
If you changed anything, would you not have survived? (27)
“After that, they found out the message by arranging the lyrics in the right order. November 30th, on the Mondstadt bridge. We all saw you already falling onto the river and… and everything just went too fast.” Diluc told Kaeya while rubbing his temple. His head was lowered down but Kaeya knew he was still crying.
Kaeya just nodded, playing with the loose strap of bandage on his right hand. “I could still remember red… I thought it was my blood but I still couldn’t believe that you jumped after me from that bridge, Luc. What if you died?”
“I won’t.”
Kaeya chuckles dryly, “How would you know…?”
Diluc wipes his tears, finally having the courage to stay strong not for him but for the young one on the hospital bed. “I won’t die until I can properly apologize to you, Kaeya. If I could, I would fight the god of death themselves just to have you back so that I could apologize… I-I’m sorry…. For everything I’ve done… I’m sorry for pushing you, for not understanding you… I’m sorry that my stupid actions led you to this path…”
He heard a tired sigh from the younger one, “As I said, Diluc, I wanted freedom. You have no fault in this. I’m just being an emotional brat in the past.” Kaeya told him, looking away and towards the window again but he frowned when the parents of the birds in the nest were gone, leaving only their hatchlings crying for food. “...I just wanted to see Father again…”
Diluc tried, he really tried not to cry again but the emotions are just so strong that even with his stoic expression, his tears still fell down.
“I know simple apologies like this won’t change anything b-but I’m willing to try, Kaeya… So please… You’re the only one I have left…”
“You’re the only one I have left too, Luc…” Kaeya said in a quivering voice. He faced Diluc again, his eye glistening with unshed tears. “But why now? Why not before? I-I needed you so much but… But why did you.. Push me away? W-Why?!”
Strong arms wrapped around Kaeya, tight but not tight enough to hurt his injuries from the fall. Kaeya’s eye flicked with light, unnoticed by the older one. He raised his trembling hands and hugs his brother back.
“Why are you so l-late, brother? I keep… I keep on waiting for you so w-why?” Kaeya asked as he sobbed.
“I’m sorry… I-I’m so sorry, Kae… But big brother will promise that starting today, I won’t ever leave your side ever again and I will listen to everything you have to say… I won’t ever turn away from you and I will listen with my full attention.” Diluc told him. “We can’t fix what was already broken from the past but… I-I won’t mind starting a new one with you, little brother.”
Kaeya only cried louder but he missed his warmth, he missed his big brother so much and this is enough to break that wall he uses to deceive his own feelings. He’s glad… He’s glad that he actually survived.
I remember you said you were scared
And so am I