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You watched Jake glide easily around the pool table, laughing with his fellow aviators. As they’d been kept together at North Island following the uranium mission, he had mellowed out significantly. Now, the snarky comments were more intended in good fun, less sharp. He was still the same man he had always been, just better at sharing pieces of himself, and it had won him solid friendships with the Dagger Squad.
He had gotten a promotion too, one that would be officially presented tomorrow. Lieutenant Commander Seresin. It had a nice ring to it. Though it was also true that you thought your husband’s name generally had a nice ring to it.
Tonight, everyone was celebrating. You had been in an equally celebratory mood mere moments ago, incredibly proud of your husband. Then, when you stepped away to get drink refills for everyone, stepped outside the conversation, it all settled in.
At first, it was fond--an affectionate recollection of everything your husband had accomplished in his career. Then, as the tally of his merits and achievements piled ever higher, you started to wonder what he saw in you. Your own pile of accomplishments felt so small in comparison as to not be worth mentioning.
Even when you had just met, Jake had already flown important missions and graduated from Top Gun. He had only continued to accumulate achievements, while you had… just sort of existed. You were living your life, sure, but you didn’t feel that your life was anything particularly remarkable. Certainly not like his.
You knew Jake saw the slow fall of your smile between knocking stripes into the table’s pockets. To anyone else, it likely would have gone unnoticed, but to Jake, you were an open book. He flashed a wickedly triumphant grin at Javy when he sank the final ball, then excused himself from the tournament. He made his way over to you, pressing a kiss to your forehead in greeting.
“Tired, sweets?” he asked, pulling the smile back to your face. He knew being around so many people, even friends, could be draining for you. Even though that wasn’t the cause of your gloom, it made you feel warm to know he looked out for you. “We can head out for the night if you’re done.”
“Tonight’s about you, sunshine. I can’t very well steal the guest of honor.” You would feel bad if he left the celebration because of you.
“I’ve always been all yours.” The unsaid message there was that he didn’t care about the party. “Ready to go?”
You hesitated for a moment, wavering under his gentle gaze. Finally, you nodded, dropping your head to his shoulder in something akin to defeat. Jake’s arm slid around you, holding you securely to him as he shielded you from view. He gave you as much privacy as he could in the crowded bar. After a moment and a deep breath, you nodded again and pushed yourself off the stool.
He kept you tucked close, waving a quick goodbye to the other pilots as the two of you made your way out of the Hard Deck to his truck. Jake smiled softly at you as he opened the car door and helped you into the seat. After climbing into the driver’s seat and pulling out of the parking lot, he took your hand and he didn’t let go.
You tried to focus on the feeling of his fingers between yours rather than the thoughts swirling around your head. You didn’t want this night or this promotion to be about you. You knew he loved you. He told you so frequently and showed it even more. You knew, consciously, that he didn’t care about comparing your accomplishments to his, that it didn’t factor even remotely into his love. So, you tried desperately to silence your doubts and push them from your mind.
When you pulled into your driveway, he brought your hand to his lips before letting you go. Often, you would get out of the car yourself and meet him at the front of it, but today, you took the extra time in an attempt to compose yourself. Jake came around to your side, opening the door slowly.
“You okay?” he asked quietly, his green eyes fixed on you. He knew you weren’t, but he also knew that you would come to him in your own time.
And that time was not yet. You just nodded in response to his question, took his offered hand, and let him lead you into the house.
It wasn’t until you were in bed lying on his chest that you finally resigned yourself to telling him. You had been unable to quiet your mind on your own. Ultimately, you knew only he could calm the storm, so you reluctantly spoke up.
“Jake, you…” you started hesitantly, trailing your fingers up his chest. “You are so amazing. You’ve accomplished so many incredible things, and I am so proud of you.” You did mean that, despite everything.
“Thank you,” he replied, kissing your forehead. “I couldn’t do it without you.”
“You’d do just fine,” you snorted a derisive laugh. “You never needed me to be great.”
He let the quiet settle over you for a moment, his fingers trailing up and down along your spine. “What’s this about, pretty girl?” Jake asked at last, deciding that you needed a nudge to open up.
You sighed, your shoulders drooping in his hold. “What do you see in me?”
“I see my wife, the woman I love,” was his easy answer, given with a smile before he watched you more seriously. “What are you asking?”
“You have done so many impressive things, love. The life you lead is so exciting and you’ve accomplished so, so much. I just feel… boring in comparison,” you admitted. “I haven’t done anything particularly cool or noteworthy, and you just keep racking up achievements and commendations.
“And don’t get me wrong,” you continued hurriedly, not wanting him to misinterpret, “I love you so much and I know how hard you work. I am so proud of everything you do. I’m… I’m really sorry this is happening today, I really wanted to just be happy for you. I am happy for you, I promise.”
“Hey, it’s okay. I know,” he reassured softly, his free hand coming up to caress your cheek and tilt your chin up. “I know.” Once he was confident that you didn’t feel like you had to apologize for your feelings, he continued, his gaze never wavering from yours. “You are so not boring. Darlin’, the things you do may not come with the visible rewards and medals, but that doesn’t make them any less worthwhile.”
“But--”
“No buts. Your accomplishments are just as big as mine.” He nudged your nose with his. “Since we met, you have done so much and grown so much. I am so proud of everything you’re becoming. I should tell you that more often.”
The last thing you wanted was for him to feel like he wasn’t doing enough for you. “No, Jake, you don’t--”
“I should. I will,” he insisted quietly. “I want you to see how amazing you are.”
“You’re always wonderful to me. It’s not your fault my brain is dumb.”
“It’s no one’s fault,” Jake said with a shrug, taking hold of your hand and fiddling with your ring. “I just happen to love you, and I very much enjoy showing you just how much.” His voice roughened at the end, dropping into a familiar low register.
You giggled when he rolled the two of you over, pinning you beneath him as the tension finally seeped out of you. He always seemed to know how to bring you back to yourself. Jake beamed down at you as you laughed, propped up on his elbow. You reached up to trace the side of his face and the smile softened, just a touch.
Then you pushed yourself up so you could kiss him. He kissed you back fiercely, fanning a flame that always burned within you. When he pulled back, it was only for a moment, and then he dipped down to kiss his way down your neck and across your collarbones. Your fingers wound through his hair as your back arched up into him.
“Jake,” you groaned, utterly breathless. No matter how many years you had spent together, he could always take you apart so effortlessly.
He returned to your lips, murmuring your name in the same tone. “Let me love you tonight, baby.”
“Your wish is my command, Commander Seresin .” You winked at him
“Y’know, I’m liking that promotion more and more.”