Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If anyone had asked him, Cole would’ve said he found out by accident. It wasn’t that he meant to see it either. But… yeah okay, he was spying on Jay. He was acting so weird! And not in a good way. He was drifting from the team, and spending an awkward amount of time with Nya. Which would be fine if everybody didn’t already presume they were still fighting. Or were they? Cole wouldn’t know; Jay hasn’t even talked to him in weeks.

Which is where he began to follow the Lightning Ninja. He had to find out what was wrong somehow, right? After excusing himself from the dinner table, he found himself walking down the hallway. Jay had just gotten up and thrown his food into the bin like it was nothing, before speed walking to his room. Nya had stood to follow but Cole took his chance to say he’d go check on him instead. She seemed awfully unsure of the idea for it to just be nothing.

So something was wrong, but only she knew? Why hadn’t Jay told him?

As he pushed the sliding door across the floor and peered around the corner with caution, Cole found his gaze falling onto something he knew he shouldn’t have seen.

Jay sat on his bed in the centre of the room, shirtless, with his back facing him. This exposed an array of nicks and slashed scars across the back of his arms. Everyone had those. But that wasn’t what the Earth Ninja was concerned about. It was the long, seemingly deep scars that dragged down his spine, which seemed to stick out in an unhealthy manner. Those scars weren’t there a few weeks ago; before he was acting weird.

Something had happened to Jay, and he hadn’t been told.

A soft gasp caught his attention and Cole gripped the doorway tighter. The Lightning Ninja was peering over his shoulder with an expression of terror, as if his most darkest secret had just been exposed. Perhaps because it had been.

“Uh- Jay..” He began with uncertainty, closing the door behind him as he stepped inside.

“Don’t… Don’t tell the others,” The other responded, fully turning around now in order to reach over the edge of his bed and shakily throw on the nearest shirt.

Cole sighed and looked away for a moment before glacing back, “When did this happen? Who did it? You didn’t… you didn’t have those before.”

The Lightning Ninja cast his gaze down to the floor and his hands gripped his pants tightly.
“I just used to come in- into my room to take it off,” He explained with a breaking voice, “I felt safer because no- nobody was here but now you’ve seen it I-”

His expression screwed up in pure emotional pain as he curled in on himself.

“Woah woah woah, hey. Hey? Buddy, what happened?” Cole sat down on the corner of the bed, carefully snaking a hand over the boy’s shoulders from the side.

This just seemed to break the dam of emotions.

Jay turned into the side of his friend, quick to grab onto him with both hands as he sobbed into his jacket. Cole went quiet, guiding them both to the centre of the bed as he just held the other, confused. So something HAD happened. But that didn’t matter right now. Jay did.

The Earth Ninja placed a hand flat onto the other’s back, frowning down at the other as he felt him shake with tremors. An uncertain hand of comfort quickly morphed into scratching gentle shapes onto the younger’s back as he slowly calmed down. Cole took a deep breath.

“Look, I understand that whatever happened was bad, and that you don’t want to tell anyone, but we can’t help you if we don’t know. I trust you to come to me when you’re ready, okay?”

A moment passed before Jay nodded slowly, gripping onto the soft fabric tighter. They both sat there for a few hours, sharing words in random and humorous conversations. Cole was glad to see the other break out into laughter after a while, and he smiled at it.

Perhaps now was not the time, or any time soon, but he promised himself he would comfort his friend when the time was right. He knew not everybody shared their stories instantaneously, and that was okay.

Chapter Text

Zane usually didn’t care for loud noise, but he knew the consistent clattering so early in the morning was getting on everyone else’s nerves. It was about time somebody went and talked to Jay about his ‘midnight creations’.

Walking through the automatic bunker door, Zane caught a blue flash directly in front of his line of sight before it disappeared. Watching that area curiously, he let his vision zoom in to find a particular tuft of auburn hair poking over the top of one of the mechs.

“Jay, you know I can see you, right?”

“Oh.”

There was a moment of awkward silence before the boy hesitantly showed himself, and began jumping down the levels of the massive machine in the centre of the room. Hitting the ground with a thud, Jay stretched with a tired sigh. He glanced up at Zane with sudden worry.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No. Although I think the others were,” He stated honestly.

“Ah. Sorry,” He looked down before back up at his newest mech, “I can continue quieter?”

“Although that would fix the noise complaints, I do have other concerns. Do you know what time it is?”

Jay trilled and rocked on his heels silently.
“Noooo?” He winced with a smile.

“4:17am. I believe you require more sleep than one and a half hours, taking into consideration that we have an early mission at 6am.”

The Lightning Ninja sucked on his teeth once to himself before tapping his foot on the ground.
“One more hour?” He prompted.

“I do not believe that would be wise. No.”

“45 minutes?”

“No.”

“...44 minutes?”

“Jay.”

“Okay, okay…. 30 minutes?”

Zane sighed away his impatience and smiled sadly.
“How about now?”

Jay exhaled with distaste and brought his hands forward to fidget.
“10 minutes?” He asked quietly.

“Jay..”

“Not even 5? I won’t even make a sound, promise.”
“It is not the sound that has captured my concern, but rather your sleeping patterns. This has been going on for some time, Jay. Is there a reason you are overworking so late into the night?”

The way the sudden heart-rate spike of the other alerted the Nindroid was clear there was more to the story.

“Jay?”

The Lightning Ninja sighed in defeat.
“Okay, yeah. Maybe there is a reason, so what? I’ll go to bed now then, you win.”

He began to walk away before Zane caught his shoulder with a quick hand.
“I-... Do you mind sharing the reason?”

The look that crossed the other’s face was nearly as obvious as a verbal ‘no’, but the younger ninja sighed and found himself nodding instead.

So the two of them stood in the middle of the blindingly bright bunker at 4 in the morning, one listening to the other with unbreaking attention. Jay explained how he’d been stressing wildly due to his anxiety and found it easier to cope with when he had a distraction. So he resulted to creating things. Tinkering and building and constructing whatever his mind allowed, quieting all the anxious voices in the back of his head in place of blueprints and designs.

“I just thought it would work out better but-” He shuddered an inhale, “I didn’t realize it was bothering you all so much either, I’m sorry.”

“No. No no, Jay. You’re not bothering us. That isn’t why I came in here. I was concerned for you…” Zane’s expression furrowed into worry at the way the other had so blatantly blamed himself for simply coping.

“Listen,” He reached his hand out and rubbed his thumb onto the other’s shoulder comfortingly, “I can help distract you a bit before night time every few days if you want? That way you won’t have to lay awake thinking about all of it. We could read or draw or do anything you want. I don’t mind.”

Jay looked up with hope and admiration, making Zane’s heart swell.

“You’d do that?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest into a self-comforting position.

“Of course,” The Nindroid smiled, but it dropped into a sadder expression.

Carefully, Zane pulled Jay into a hug, with one hand on the back of his head and the other on his back. The Lightning Ninja seemed frozen in time before returning it slowly and burying his head into the taller's shoulder. He needed this, he could tell. After a moment, the Nindroid pulled back and took his brother's hand in his to lead him away.

Zane switched the lights off as they left the room, quietly entering his own room as the two sat on his bed.

“So, what interests you in-”

He was suddenly tackled into another hug, startling him before Zane chuckled and placed his hands on the other’s back.

“Just your company is enough for me,” Jay stated.

And it seemed it was true as he fell asleep curled up in one corner of the Nindroid’s bed within only a few minutes. He gently laid the blanket over him with a smile before falling asleep on his own side. They continued this every night until a compromise was created and things could go back to normal. Although, Zane often rolled his eyes at the sight of Jay randomly sprawled over the end of his bed in the morning every few days when he claimed to have had a ‘bad night’. Not that it ever bothered him, of course.

Chapter Text

“The facts are indisputable,” Zane stated, “We need the inverter. The inverter is inside the beetle. Ergo, one of us must enter the beetle, and retrieve it.”

Lloyd hummed in thought.

“Don’t tell me you’re considering this!” Jay stood up from his rock in the circle and turned to the Green Ninja with a betrayed expression.

“I’m open to other suggestions,” He replied, “..If anyone has one?”

Jay sat back down as the entire group went silent. All that could be heard were the crickets of the desert and the crackling of the fire in the centre of them all.

“How do we decide?” Nya piped up, “Who gets to… you know… be..”

“It was my idea,” Zane informed, “The responsibility is mine.”

“No!” Lloyd stood up, “I’m the responsible one.”

“Guys, guys, you’re both too valuable to risk,” Kai stood up now, sharing the two teammates a genuine expression before it broke out into a smirk. “It should be someone expendable… like Jay.”

“What?!” He stood up in protest.

Kai didn’t even drop his smile as Cole stood up and walked over in his defence, followed quickly by Nya. Jay backed up from the group with a frown. One could say he was always one to take things to heart but ‘expendable’… he had the proof of it. The team were always quick to nominate him in last, and he already knew his powers were the weakest amongst them all. His presence in this mission wasn’t necessary, or in any mission, per say. Jay was dwelling so much that he didn't notice the Fire Ninja looking over to him between all the bickering with a regretful frown.

“Guys!” Lloyd cut into their bicker, “We’re at least going to sleep on it, okay? No final decisions until morning, do you understand?”

The team slowly agreed and grabbed out their blankets and sleeping bags. Kai found himself leaning against the Land Bounty quite a distance away from the others. Well, except Jay. Who was also there, but rather leaning against a tall rock, which sported an engraved message the latter had jokingly given it earlier. Yet he sat there now, knees to his chest and frown on his face. No, that won't do.

The Fire Ninja poked through the nearest rocks until he found the smallest, smoothest one and threw it directly at the other's head. He spun around in such a way that Kai was half certain he was expecting a threat. But as his expression morphed into one of annoyance, he just turned away with a quiet groan and buried his head in his knees again.

Kai grabbed another rock from beside the Land Bounty’s wheel, where he sat leaning against it, before throwing it again with a direct hit.

“What is your problem?!” Jay hissed at a whisper, turning back around.

The Fire Ninja was taken aback, realizing how pissed Jay must've been for him to yell.

“Why’re you sulking? Was it- I mean, did-.. Urgh,” He rolled his eyes in exaggerated frustration, finding it difficult to voice his words.

“What?”

“M’ s- “ He mumbled, digging his face into the palm of his hand.

“I.. didn’t hear that,” Jay now turned himself fully so his body was facing the other.

“I said!... So-” He trailed off in a mumble again.

Jay gave him a half-lidded expression, raising one eyebrow as if he was prompting him to try again.

Kai gave a half-sigh half-groan as he threw his head into his hands, glancing momentarily over at their sleeping teammates on the other side of the rock face.

“You’re a dork, you know that?” He snapped instead, but brought a hand back to his face with a wince as if he’d said the completely wrong thing.

“This is… this is really killing me, man. What is it?” Jay asked, bringing his legs down into a cross-legged position so he could lean his elbow on his knee and rest his head on his hand.

“I’msorry,” He spat, quick enough to come out as another mumble but hopefully slow enough for Jay to decipher. Yet the Lightning Ninja still seemed to have misheard since his face expressed a look of confusion.

“What..?” Jay pressed again.

“Okay, jeez. I said I was sorry. I said something stupid before and now you’re all whiny. Stop it.”

“Sorry for what? The expendable thing? I don’t mind, really,” Jay told him, lazily putting more weight on his hand and using the other to pick at the sandy granite below.

“...What?” It was Kai’s turn to be confused, as all tension in his shoulders now dropped with newfound guilt.

“I don’t care,” Jay clarified. “It’s true, is it not? That’s why you said it.”

Kai let his jaw drop slightly, before closing it and clasping his hands together in his lap.

“Not… really, no. You know how sometimes I just.. say things, right?”

“Yeah,” Jay murmured, rolling a piece of sand between his finger and thumb absently.

“Those were one of those things, I guess. I didn’t… I didn’t mean it, okay? I’m sorry.”

Jay lifted his head from his hand and turned to Kai, as if his words only just occurred to him now.

“But I-... I thought…”

Kai’s expression slowly morphed into one of slight concern.

“I was kidding. We’re all kidding, Jay. I-... oh, First Spinjitsu Master, you’re an idiot. You know we don’t mean that stuff, right? All the prodding and insults and stuff?..... Right?”

The Lightning Ninja was staring at him blankly, as if told something life-changing.

“Oh…. yeah- yeah I know. I-... It’s getting late, Kai. Let’s just go to bed.”

He stood up and went to walk towards the others. Kai quickly followed and grabbed Jay's shoulder, bringing him to a standstill. He flitted his eyes between the sleeping group and Jay before sighing. The Fire Ninja pulled the other closer until he was grasped in a light hug. The Lightning Ninja froze, more than confused by the act before melting into the embrace and returning it.

The two knew they weren’t good with words, and Kai even knew he couldn't fully stop the banter from the team. But with the random yet gentle physical interaction, they both understood the other's intentions. Pulling back, Jay chuckled quietly in amusement as Kai took a dozen exaggerative steps away and sat back down in his spot back by the Land Bounty’s wheel without a word, as if pretending it never happened.

The Fire Ninja looked up to see the other dragging blankets over for the two of them and he sat down besides him with a questioning look. Kai gave him a nod of approval and they silently fell asleep leaning into one another's sides. This form of agreement continued to follow on for every miscommunication they had in the future. A simple hug was all it took after a lousy insult or remark for Jay to forgive him. After all, what words create, touch can solve. At least, that’s how it worked for the two of them.

Chapter Text

The team had just returned from a relatively hard mission, the sun sinking in the distance as night began to drag in. Nya was the first to check over her family’s injuries, forcibly reminding the others to take care of themselves. She had no idea where they would be without her. Dead, probably.

“Hey, uh, Nya?” A voice called to her.

She turned to see Jay standing in the doorway of her room, fiddling with a small plastic bag containing a medical needle and thread. The long cut on his lower arm now caught her attention and she stood up immediately, kicking herself mentally at missing one of her team’s injuries.

“Could you..?” He prompted.

“Yeah definitely, sit down.”

“Wait, here?”

“Yeah, why not,” Nya shrugged, closing the door behind him as he walked inside, “I have Kai’s blood stained in the carpets from when he first needed stitches. Gross, I know.”

Jay chuckled uneasily, handing the small handful of items over to the team’s self-appointed healer. He sat in the centre of her bed, rolling up his right arm’s sleeve all the way just to be careful. Nya sat in front of him, needle in one hand and holding the other one out patiently. Jay placed his arm into her hand and she began to thread it with great concentration and care. After a little while, she saw him wince.

“That didn’t hurt, did it?” She asked, pausing for a moment.

“No no, you’re good. I just uh- I’m not a big fan of needles… And I haven’t exactly gotten stitches before either.”

“Oh! Do you need a break or...?”

“No! It’ll be easier to get it over and done with, I'm sure.”

“If you’re sure.”

They continued, and Nya marked herself as half way done only a few minutes after their conversation. Jay sat dead-still the whole time, gaze looking anywhere but at his arm. Before she knew it, she was tying off the line of thread and putting the items back into the small plastic bag they were brought in.

“You alright?” She found herself asking, now noticing the other was yet to move.

“Yeah…” He started, before returning her gaze with an uneasy smile, “Kai told me it was painless but…. Ow.”

Nya chuckled, shaking her head to herself.
“He lied on purpose, you know? He was actually sooking the whole time when he got his stitches. I basically had to hold him hostage to stop him from writhing on the floor in pain. You sat wayyy better than he did, don’t worry.”

Jay laughed quietly, seemingly scared to move his arm as he flexed it slowly with a frown. He took a shaky inhale and Nya smiled sadly.

"Alright, okay. Come here you big baby," She groaned jokingly, pulling the other into her arms.

He seemed startled by the sudden contact before laughing into her shoulder and gripping onto her with his legs and arms like some kind of koala. They stayed there in silence, with Nya telling all the stories from when she had to give stitches to the other teammates. Such as when Cole had excused himself halfway to 'go to the bathroom', but ended up too scared to tell her he needed a break. Or when Lloyd was squirming so much that Nya was sure the wound would have healed quicker on it's own than the time it took her to wrangle him to keeping still. Jay listened in, amused by the stories.

The Lightning Ninja, however, didn't take her caution to heart in the next few missions as he was quick to approach her door with the same small bag and an anxious frown on his face. She was happy to help him each time, and they silently reminisced in why they loved one another. Stubbornness and all.