Chapter Text
“What’s that noise?” Crowley asked as he and Aziraphale walked past a warehouse.
“Oh dear, I hope nobody’s keeping animals in there!” Aziraphale said as Crowley sighed.
“You want to go check it out.” Aziraphale nodded. “Fine, we’ll go.”
– - –
They walked in just in time to see a bright light and a tiger turn into a teenager.
“What the fuck.” Crowley swore.
“Language!” Aziraphale chided.
“Hush. Anyway, back to the point. What the fuck?”
“Oh! Company!” a brown-haired man exclaimed.
“Hello! You can call me Mr. Fell, and this is my partner Crowley, and we were wondering what was going on here?” the man eyed them suspiciously.
“And why were you looking in this warehouse to begin with?”
“Oh! We heard growling and crashing and we were worried-”
“You. You were worried. I only came along to make sure you didn’t get mauled by some wild animal or something.”
“First of all, I can handle myself,” Crowley snorted. “Shut up. Second, fine. I was worried that someone was keeping animals in here, possibly illegally. Then we walked in and saw you turn a tiger into a teenager.”
“And why didn’t you call the cops?”
“Fuck the police.” Crowley stated.
“I agree with the sentiment, but please Crowley.”
“Angel.”
“Fine. Us arguing about your swearing won’t get us answers.” at that moment, one person ran in, followed by three more walking at a much more reasonable pace. The long-haired blond started to chew the brown-haired one out. Finally, he noticed Aziraphale and Crowley. Introductions were made.
“So, what-” Crowley started, but Dazai cut him off.
“Fine, fine, we’ll explain. Basically, some people have powers we call abilities. Mine is called No Longer Human, and it lets me nullify others abilities if I’m touching them.”
“Fascinating!” Aziraphale said.
“Thanks.” Dazai responded. “So, I’m assuming you two are new to this city?”
“Why yes, we are.” Aziraphale responded.
“Well, if you don’t have any other plans, why don’t you stay with Atsushi here. It’ll certainly help to have someone keeping an eye on him for now, just in case the tiger resurfaces.”
“That sounds fine!” Aziraphale said.
“Sure.” Crowley said, a hint of well-hidden suspicion in his eyes.
– - –
“How the fuck did you get stuck in an oil drum.” Crowley said flatly. Aziraphale sighed next to him while Atsushi kicked the oil drum over, effectively dislodging Dazai.
“Ah, you see, I thought I read it was a way to commit suicide, but it turns out it was actually a torture technique.” He said calmly, either missing or ignoring Aziraphale's concerned gasp.
“This is the second time in as many days I’ve seen you attempt suicide.” Atsushi said. “I hope you know that it was rather unpleasant fishing you out of the river.”
“Young man, are you alright? You should not be attempting to kill yourself, and certainly not so frequently.” Aziraphale worried. Dazai waved him off.
“Nah, I’m fine.” Aziraphale continued to look worried, but recognized the dismissal.
– - –
{We’re going to be testing Atsushi, so don’t step in.} Aziraphale and Crowley stared at the note, then up at the concerned-looking Dazai and Kunikida.