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“Do you want to talk about it?”
Charlie, who was currently lying down with Nick on the couch with his head on Nick’s chest, tilted his face up, eyebrows scrunched together. “What?”
“You haven’t stopped adjusting since we laid down.” Reaching one hand up to Charlie’s forehead, Nick gently traced his thumb along his brow, trying to smooth the concern from his face. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?”
“Yeah.” Closing his eyes, Charlie let out a long sigh before burying his face in Nick’s chest. “What if I flunked all my A-levels?” Despite being muffled in his shirt, Nick could hear the worry in Charlie’s voice. “We have a plan, and if I fail, that would mess everything up and-”
“Char, hey.” Pulling him closer, Nick pressed a soft kiss into Charlie’s curls. “Do you remember how nervous you were about your GSCEs?”
Nick could feel Charlie’s head nodding against him. “Yeah.”
“And how did you do on those?”
Charlie was quiet for a moment before letting out a small groan. “But A-levels are harder!”
“Which is why you spent so much time revising for them.” Nick could feel Charlie slowly start to relax in his arms, so he continued. “Besides, even I did pretty well on my A-levels, and you’re way smarter than me.”
Snapping his head back up to Nick, Charlie frowned, his lips forming a small pout. “No, I’m not.”
“Charlie. We both know you’re smarter, and that’s fine with me. I find it hot that you’re such a nerd.”
Scoffing, Charlie pressed his hand firmly on Nick’s chest. “That- You’re- I am not!”
“Yes, you are, and I love it!” As he gently tapped Charlie’s nose with his index finger, Nick saw the corner of his smile twitch. “So there’s no way you failed. But even if we somehow ended up in a strange alternate universe where you didn’t get the marks you need, there are still other options.”
“Options?”
“You would probably still do well enough to get accepted to your insurance choice, and if not, you could go through clearing. In the absolute worst case, which again, is not going to happen, you resit.”
After seeming to consider Nick’s words, Charlie nodded slowly, letting out a reluctant sigh. “I guess you’re right.”
“And no matter what happens, you and I will figure it out together.”
Charlie let out a satisfied hum in agreement. “You’re very good at this, you know. Talking me down from a spiral.”
As Charlie began to play with his hair, Nick closed his eyes. “It’s called decatastrophising.”
“That sounds like something Geoff would say.” Nick felt Charlie’s hand stop in his hair. “Actually, I think Geoff has used that exact term before.”
“I may have done some research a while back about helping someone with anxiety.”
Charlie giggled, burying his face in Nick’s chest once again. “You really do turn to Google for everything.”
“Shut up, nerd.” As Charlie kept laughing, Nick squeezed him tighter, grateful to see his boyfriend returning to gentle teasing once again. “So you seem to be doing better, but I did have a small surprise planned to take your mind off things, just in case.”
“What sort of surprise?”
“Come on, let’s go to your room, and I’ll show you.”
Quickly sitting up, Charlie peered down at Nick with a knowing smile, eyebrows raised. “Oh?”
“Don’t get too excited. It’s not that kind of surprise.”
“Damn,” Charlie said, not breaking his smile, before taking Nick’s hand and pulling him toward the stairs. Once they were in Charlie’s room, Nick led him to sit on the edge of the bed. “I thought you said it wasn’t that kind of surprise.”
“Oi, just sit down and give me a minute.” Pulling out his phone, Nick walked over to the drumkit in the corner of Charlie’s room. Once it was on, Nick adjusted the settings and plugged in his phone before sitting down. Looking back at Charlie over his shoulder, Nick tried to ignore how his heart was racing. “So, when we first met, you decided to try something I was good at that scared you. And while you technically did try to teach me once, I figured it was time I gave it an honest go.”
After taking one more deep breath, Nick hit play on his phone and waited for the first note before carefully tapping along to the beat. As the singing began, Nick found himself softly humming with the melody he now knew by heart.
🎶 When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now,
will you still be sending me a Valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine? 🎶
Nick was finding himself increasingly thankful his back was turned to Charlie as he played. If he were as terrible as he feared, even Charlie, the nicest person Nick had ever met, wouldn’t be able to hide it. Thankfully Charlie was also nice enough that he would try and lie, albeit poorly, to make Nick feel better. As the rhythm shifted leading up to the first bridge, Nick tried to shake off his nerves and stay focused on playing along with the song.
🎶 You’ll be older too, and if you say the word, I could stay with you.
I could be handy mending a fuse when your lights have gone.
You can knit a sweater by the fireside, Sunday mornings go for a ride. 🎶
Recalling how Charlie had mentioned he was considering learning to knit just the last week, Nick could not help but smile. Of course, at the time, he had instantly teased Charlie, suggesting he was just trying to supply Nick with more jumpers that he could steal. Thinking back, Nick realised Charlie never did actually deny it.
🎶 We shall scrimp and save, grandchildren on your knee… 🎶
If Nick said he hadn’t imagined him and Charlie as grandparents while practising this song, he would be lying. Maybe that was weird since Nick was only nineteen, going on twenty in just a few weeks, but he couldn’t help it. He and Charlie had already established a while ago that they were not a “normal” couple for their age, being far more committed and domestic than anyone else at their age, and spending the school year long-distance had only solidified their bond.
🎶 Give me your answer, fill in a form, mine for evermore.
Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four? 🎶
After finishing out the last few beats, Nick hesitated before starting to turn around, words already flying out of his mouth before he even made eye contact with Charlie.
“Please be kind, I know I’m not very good, but I really tried-” Suddenly, Nick could feel Charlie’s hands cupping his face and felt Charlie’s lips pressing into his. Before too long, the warmth was gone, and Nick opened his eyes to find Charlie’s staring back at him.
“Yes.”
Still reeling from the kiss, it took Nick a few moments to process that Charlie had spoken and another to register his own confusion. “Yes, what?”
The corners of Charlie’s mouth pulled up into a small smile. “Yes, I’ll still need you when you’re sixty-four.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course.” As he nodded, Charlie leaned in once again, whispering, “Yours for evermore.”