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Aki smoked when he was in distress. Something he learned from Himeno, his senior. Not willingly, but hey, she could be super persuasive when it came to Aki. Himeno had taught him many important things: how to get away from their boss, how to look for the best spot to rest when they were on patrol, and—Aki wouldn't have thought he would say this—smoking.
It was not like he kept cigarettes in his jacket pocket for that purpose. The habit just grew on him. And Aki didn't even smoke that frequently. Nicotine was a luxury—which he couldn't spend too much so often.
Aki had this set of rules regarding smoking. First, he had to tell himself three times "no, you can get through this" every time he felt the urge. Most times, three was too much, he always managed to restrain himself on one.
Second, he would only take one and only one cigarette. Nothing more. Regardless of what Himeno said, Aki still wanted properly working lungs and not hospital bills for his retirement (if he was lucky enough to get any).
Third, last but not least: never smoke in front of Power and Denji.
Those little rascals should never find out about this. Aki didn't want them to. They were looking up to him (even when Aki doubted it, and his adoptive siblings adamantly denied it), and smoking was still a bad habit.
Today, however, was the day that he surpassed the three times of No.
He finally resigned to the urge.
Aki took a long drag of his cig, feeling the cold wind caressing his face. The stress reliever almost tasted like a reward the moment it touched his lips.
It was not like when he was sitting alone here, every problem of his life would be resolved.
It was not like everything would go back to the way it used to be, or get undone.
His job sucked. It didn't pay much. There was a constant death threat looming over him. The risk of getting himself killed or other people killed, depending on where on the side of fate you were.
Aki sighed, watching the afternoon breeze carry the spiral of grey away.
It was not easy.
It never had been.
But well, Aki took the little comfort his cigarette had offered, knowing that this time, at this exact minute, everything was at peace.
Because, you know, he deserved that.
"I KNEW IT!"
Aki never turned his head so fast he heard a crack from his neck.
"Come up here, Power, look what Aki is doing!"
Denji puffed his cheek, standing across the rooftop, absolutely acting like a disappointed parent.
"You dumb-dumb, help me!" Power yelled from the emergency stairs.
"Ugh, when will you be able to pull y—" Just when Denji was about to give her hand, Power jumped out.
"Haha, gotcha!" She laughed devilishly before shifting her gaze to Aki, who had stepped on his half-finished cigarette, destroying the very evidence he possessed.
"You've been smoking behind our back?" The betrayal is conveyed perfectly in her tone. "Why?"
Aki didn't even ask why Power wanted to know his motivation.
There was no secret in the Hayakawa family, especially between the siblings. Secret is forbidden. Secret is something you get when you have to hide something. Aki never hides anything from his siblings. Not even the gruesome and ugly truths about their family, not even the pathetic reasons they're now left with no one but each other. Not even the fact that even if they aren't related by blood, they are built just the same with the ones who do—a real family.
Secret is unknown to them, something unfamiliar.
So, that's it—why?
"Nothing," Aki shrugged. "It's just, you're too young to smoke, that's why I don't tell you two anything."
Denji squinted in suspicion. "You drank sake last week, and you didn't give us any, but you didn't keep it a secret."
"Also," Power walked around. "why here? You can smoke on the patio, Or in a closet." She turned into Denji. "You sneaked out a couple of ramen there too, yesterday, didn't you?"
Denji hissed warningly at her.
Aki raised his brows. "Did you, Denji?"
"That's not the point!" He picked the trashed cigarette off the ground as if to emphasize his words. "Why?"
Another nonchalant shrug. "I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"Fine," he rolled his eyes. "Maybe I don't tell you two because I don't want you to find out. Also, if I smoke inside the house, it will leave traces. Unlike sake, the smell stays. I don't want our place to be contaminated." Aki pulled himself up and adjusted the strap of his bag. "C'mon, you guys are looking out for me because you two are hungry, aren't you?"
Power made a face—which meant that Aki was right.
Denji stared at him incredulously—which meant Aki was right but he still wouldn't let Aki get away from the whole 'caught ya red-handed' things.
"C'mon, Denji," Aki patted his shoulder, but Denji didn't let himself be patted. The reaction made Aki stiffled the laugh, he opted to ruffle Power's hair instead. "C'mon, Power. I'm gonna make you a tofu burger."
"Eurgghh!"
After they were fully stuffed with delicious meals (Power begrudgingly admitted that the tofu burger wasn't as bad as it sounded), things seemed to be back to normal. The three of them attempted to have a cozy evening by watching TV together.
It should be easy, just sitting nicely and paying attention to whatever program was on.
Which had, of course, failed rather spectacularly.
Denji and Power were fighting for the remote. The loud disputation had taken a sharp turn to physical, and Aki had to involve himself. Not surprising.
Their house was basically a synonym for chaos, but that was just a normal stuff in the Hayakawa household.
When Denji and Power eventually had calmed enough, and the three of them settled down to watch a movie, Aki couldn't help to notice the tingling urge that had been bothering him all day had disappeared.
He no longer felt the need to escape through smoking. He no longer felt the itch to take a long drag of nicotine only to relieve the bad day at work.
"Go sleep in your room if you're sleepy!"
Aki turned his head at Denji hissing with no malice, when Power's head befell upon his shoulder. Despite the facade, Aki could see Denji adjusted himself so that Power could continue to rest.
"What are you smiling about?" Denji elbowed him. "If you wanna smoke, you can do it here."
Aki didn't answer, so Denji added.
"I won't tell Power if you give me one too."
Snatching the remote off Denji's hand, Aki leaned back to the sofa.
"Don't need one right now."
Nicotine was nice, but to be where he was right now, was better.
And he wouldn't wanna change a thing.
Probably.