Chapter Text
TIM
Sometimes Tim feels like a jack-in-the-box. The crank winding him up, the music edging on suspense, and at any moment ready to pop.
Tim doesn’t like feelling like a clown but there’s a part of him that can’t escape it. Like it’s melded into his core, constantly tainting him.
Sometimes Tim wants to make it all stop. Wants to disappear from the world without a trace, forgettable and forgotten. Wants to cut all ties with the people who feel obligated to him and relieve their burden of his presence.
Sometimes Tim can’t stand it. Can’t stand living after everything that’s happened, everything he’s done.
Sometimes…
Tim lies in his bed, staring at the wall blankly and rhythmically squeezing the corner of his pillow empty and exhausted, the way he always feels.
His eyes sting. Not with tears, just stinging because he can’t bare to close his eyes for too long, afraid of what he’ll see when they shut.
He feels a prick in his finger. When he looks down at it, he sees a tiny slice, probably from a feather poking out from his pillow.
He giggles. It’s not funny. Nothing is funny anymore, but that doesn’t stop him. He giggles and then he chuckles and then he laughs and then he sobs and screams.
The laughter chokes him, makes him feel like he’s running out of air, and a part of him hopes he does.
Tim buries his face in his hands, fruitlessly wiping away the tears that spill from his eyes.
“What’s so funny?”
Tim stops, his laughter cut off as if it had never happened.
Sitting criss cross applesauce at the edge of his bed is a little girl in silk pajamas, hugging a frog stuffie.
Of course Tim thinks this is a hallucination. What else could it be.
But then the little girl crawls to his side and pokes him in the cheek. “What’s so funny?”
And Tim laughs because this cannot be happening to him.
JASON
Jason returns to his safehouse with a duffel bag almost full of heads and he feels pretty satisfied with his night.
He goes to the bathroom and starts to strip down from his blood soaked gear and goes to scrub his hands in the sink.
He’s half undressed, the top of his suit hanging loosely from his waist, his boots not even off yet, but he can’t seem to care, too focused on getting just clean enough to collapse in bed.
He’s splashing his face with water when he hears a thump beside him. Immediately, he has a gun out, pointed at the noise.
To his confusion, it’s a little kid. Their features are androgynous and they’re in an oversized red sweater, striped leggings, and purple galoshes.
“What the fuck?” Jason says.
“Dad?” the kid says.
“I ain’t your dad, kid,” Jason says.
“But…” they trail off and their lip starts to wobble.
“Oh, no, don’t start the waterworks, it’s okay,” Jason says. The pit sings in his mind to take out the new threat, but the Robin that is still in him screams at him to help the distressed kid. “What’s your name?”
“Minnie,” they — she? — says.
“That’s a good name,” Jason says.
“Why do you look like my dad?” Minnie asks.
“I don’t know,” Jason says honestly. “Do you know where your dad is? I can get you back to him.” He doesn’t know why he says this. He can’t risk taking little girls home, especially ones from Crime Alley. It would draw too much attention. He could always drop her off down the block and make sure she doesn’t get snatched.
Her lip just wobbles more. “He’s gone.”
Shit. “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay,” Minnie says.
“No it’s not,” Jason says. “I hurt your feelings. That’s not very nice of me.”
“You didn’t mean to,” Minnie says. “And I bet you don’t hurt feelings on purpose.”
Jason definitely hurts feelings on purpose. He does more than just hurt feelings but he doesn’t say this.
“What’s your name?” Minnie asks.
“Uh, Todd Peters,” Jason says.
“That’s funny,” Minnie says. “You’ve got a last name for a first name.”
“What do you mean?” Jason says.
“That’s my last name! Todd.”
Jason stills. “What did you say Minnie was short for?”
“I didn’t,” Minnie says, squirming unhappily.
“What’s it short for?” Jason says, dread starting to pool in his gut.
“Can I tell you a secret, mister?” Jason nods. “I tell people it’s short for Minestrone, like the soup, but really my name is stupid.”
“What is it?” Jason asks, growing impatient.
“Jasmine,” she says.
Fuck. “Your name is Jasmine Todd?”
She nods.
And he looks at her, really looks at her, and he sees it in the slope of her nose and the hood of her eyelids and the curve of her cupids bow. He sees him.
“Well, fuck.”
TIM
Despite all of the evidence proving otherwise, Tim is nearly convinced that he’s finally cracked.
The little girl tells him that her name is Timothea Drake, Moss for short, and she’s him from another dimension and it’s so absurd that he almost can’t believe it.
But the way her hands feel warm and solid against his skin and the way she comes up with details that he could never dream up prove him otherwise.
After his second laughing fit, Tim is exhausted, so he crawls into bed and drifts to sleep.
Moss must join him because when he wakes up, she’s lying next to him, staring at him with a wide owlish gaze.
There’s no laughter left to let out and Tim just feels hollow. He pulls himself from the bed and figures what he’s wearing is fine, despite the fact that he’s been wearing it for days.
“You hungry?” Tim asks Moss.
“If it’s not imposition,” she says.
“Not at all.” They pad their way through his penthouse to the kitchen.
Tim opens his fridge and sees the pathetic contents and sighs.
“How’s some peanut butter toast sound?” Tim says.
“I love peanut butter toast!” Moss says.
“Yeah, me too.” Tim goes through the process of making the toast robotically. “We’ll have to get you some clothes,” he thinks out loud. Fuck, he does not want to go to a crowded mall. “You ever been to a thrift store?”
“No?” Moss says. “What’s that?”
“It’s like a store but it’s clothes that other people have given away that cost less than normal clothes.”
Moss shifts in her seat. “Well, it’s good that it costs less. I wouldn’t want to gouge you for your money.”
Tim blinks. “...Right.”
“When are we going to the thrift store?”
“Whenever we finish our toast.”
And whenever he gets the energy to be a presentable human person.
MINNIE
The man who looks like her dad who isn’t her dad is very interesting.
He said his name was Todd Peters but Minnie knew that’s not really his name because he said it like a liar and he lies the same way she does.
When Minnie told him this, he froze like a statue and his eyes got really big. He then told her the truth and said his name was Jason.
Jason is a bad name, though. That’s a serial killer name and he’s not a serial killer. He’s too nice to be a serial killer! So she gave him a new name. Sunny.
He made her cheesy scrambled eggs for breakfast and then he said they’re gonna go shopping for clothes because she can’t wear the same thing everyday.
They go to a thrift shop which makes her feel better because she would feel really bad if he took her to a real store with the expensive fancy clothes.
He lets her pick out what she wants and she only picks out the essentials, knowing she doesn’t need anything more than just that.
She also doesn’t want to spent too much of Sunny’s money. She can tell that he grew up poor, like her, and he knows what it’s like when money’s tight and she bets money is still tight for him now.
Sunny tells her to go try on her clothes and then they’ll head out so she heads to the changing rooms.
She pulls open a curtain and she’s greeted by a little girl tangled in a dress who squeaks loudly at the curtain opening.
“Sorry! Sorry!” Minnie says, going to close the curtain.
“No, wait!”
Minnie freezes.
“I’m stuck,” the girl says.
“Oh,” Minnie says. “Do you need help?”
“Mhm,” the girl says pathetically.
Minnie closes the curtain behind her and steps towards the girl. “Off or on?”
“Off, please,” she says.
Minnie tugs the dress up the girl’s arm and she sighs in relief when she can set her arms down.
“Thanks,” she says.
“No problem,” Minnie says.
“What’s your name?”
“Minnie.”
“I’m Moss!” She grins brightly at her.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Minnie says.
“I’m not really sure about some of these outfits,” Moss says, looking down sheepishly. “Do you think you could give me a second opinion?”
“I’m not much of a fashionista,” Minnie says.
“That’s okay,” Moss says quickly. “I think I just need a second pair of eyes.”
“You’d look pretty freaky with two pairs of eyes,” Minnie says.
Moss giggles. “No! I mean, I need you to tell me if it looks okay.”
“Oh,” Minnie says, chuckling with embarrassment. “That makes more sense.”
And so she does! Moss’s clothes are a lot different than the clothes Minnie got. There’s a lot of soft pink and white dresses and sweaters. Moss holds a sweater hesitantly, looking at it with confliction.
“What’s wrong?” Minnie says.
“I don’t know if I can get this,” Moss says. “It’s not proper.”
“Lemme see,” Minnie says.
Moss turns the sweater around and flips the hood up. It takes Minnie a couple seconds to figure out what it is. “Is that a frog?”
Moss hugs the sweater to her chest. “I love frogs.”
“Well then you should get it,” Minnie says.
“It’s not proper,” Moss repeats.
“Fuck proper,” Minnie says. “Wear what you want. Are your parents gonna give you shit?”
“I…” Moss trails off. “My… guardian won’t. And that’s who I’m staying with.”
“Well, then there’s no reason not to get it.”
Moss looks up at Minnie and barrels into her arms in a tight hug. “Thank you,” she murmurs into her chest.
Minnie laughs awkwardly and hugs her back. “No problem.”
Moss grabs her pile of clothes. “Thank you, Minnie. It was very nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too,” Minnie says.
Moss looks like she wants to say something else but she doesn’t, instead darting out of the dressing room and disappearing into the store.
Sunny comes to check on Minnie since she’s taking a long time and she hasn’t even started trying on her clothes. Not wanting to bother him, she told him that it all fit perfectly and she’s ready to go.
Sunny holds her hand the whole walk home.
She likes Sunny a lot.
TIM
Tim can’t keep Moss.
He knows he can’t. She’s from another dimension, and even if she wasn’t, he’s in no place to raise a child.
He’s going to ruin her just like he ruins everything that comes into his life.
And he knows he doesn’t deserve her. This bright, warm ray of sunlight that only believes the best in Tim despite everything he is. He isn’t… he isn’t worthy of having someone as precious as Moss.
But he wants to be. He wants to be Moss’s. He wants to show her the love that she deserves that he knows she doesn’t get from her parents. He wants to be everything he never got, to teach her that there can be so much more than the hopeless clinging to fleeting moments.
But Tim knows he can’t, though. He can’t be that person for Moss. Not when he can barely be that person for himself.
Except he doesn’t have it in him to send her back, knowing what life waits for her. And not when he barely has the energy to get out of bed.
Moss deserves better than him but Tim doesn’t trust anyone to take her in. Who will understand the damage she already has and how easily it is to break her spirit. Who will nurture her and give her everything she should get.
So, Tim needs to be better. Not for himself, he doesn’t feel like he deserves that yet, but for Moss.
Tim makes his first effort by trying to get to know Moss. There’s no guarantee that there are any parallels and it’s better to learn from her firsthand.
“I like frogs,” Moss says simply, and Tim can tell that there’s more to that statement than just her interest in frogs.
“Frogs are cool,” Tim says.
“Amphibians are difficult to rehabilitate from injuries or illness,” Moss says. “But you’re not a frog. You’re a person. So… I think you’ll be able to.”
And Tim realizes that Moss can see how broken he is. Even to her, it’s obvious that he’s not well, and it almost embarasses him to realize.
“If you need to consolidate your energy on you, I’ll be okay,” Moss says. “I’m a big girl. I’m used to taking care of myself. You don’t have to take care of me if you can’t.”
Tim feels the breath knocked out of him. He kneels down at her level. “I’m going to take care of you no matter what. Just because I have to take care of me doesn’t me that I can’t take care of you too. You’re… you’re a kid. And you shouldn’t have to do grownup things like taking care of yourself alone.”
“But you are,” Moss says.
“That’s because I’m a grownup,” Tim says, even though he knows that’s not true. God, he’s only seventeen. He’s not a grownup. But he has to be. For her.
“Well, even if you are a grownup, you’re not alone,” Moss says. “You have me!”
Tim smiles, warmth blooming in his chest. “Yeah. I do have you.”
JASON
Minnie gets out of the bath which he had to warm up with a pot of boiling water in the freezing cold tap water, something he learned during a time that feels like a lifetime ago and comes into the living room in that oversized sweater she came in and fuzzy pajama pants.
“Sunny?” she says.
“What’s up?” Jason says.
“Can you brush my hair?”
Jason stills. Something about it is daunting. No, terrifying. The idea of her tiny, fragile head in between his hands that have killed and maimed.
“It hurts my arm,” Minnie continues.
Jason swallows thickly. “Yeah, I can do that.”
Jason isn’t a stranger to brushing hair. When his mom was too doped up to move, he would brush through the knots in her hair, making sure to never tug while he detangled her curls.
Jason sits on the floor and pats between his legs. Minnie sits in the space between his knees and hands him the brush.
With slightly trembling hands, he holds her hair at the top and starts to comb through the bottom of her curls. It’s almost a rats nest, probably from her living on the streets for months.
“Why do you always wear that sweater?” Jason asks.
Minnie tugs at the sleeves. “It was my dad’s.”
“Oh,” Jason says. “Sorry, I didn’t—”
“No, it’s— yeah. He gave it to me when it shrunk at the laundromat. He said I’d grow into it one day.”
“I’m sure you will,” Jason says.
“You think?” Minnie whispers.
“Yeah,” Jason says, voice soft and uncertain.
“You brush my hair like he did,” Minnie says.
Jason feels a pang in his chest and just keeps brushing her hair.
MOSS
Boy Her is weird. But that’s okay because she’s weird too so they can be weird together.
He laughs a lot even when things aren’t funny and sometimes when he laughs he cries and everytime he laughs he goes really quiet and doesn’t say anything for a long time.
He doesn’t smile unless he’s laughing. He’s like a statue with a face that’s always serious.
That doesn’t mean he’s never happy. He just shows his happy in different ways. She can see it in the way his eyes crinkle or his hands flap or his shoulders wiggle.
She and Boy Her don’t leave their house very much but that’s okay because Moss is used to not leaving the house.
Boy Her gets his groceries from people who deliver it at the front door. He’s doing that right now, but he’s got a frown on his face which means something is wrong.
“They don’t have my coffee,” he mutters.
“What kind of coffee is that?” Moss asks.
He turns his screen so she can see it and she memorizes the picture.
“I’m going to go now,” Moss blurts out.
Boy Her looks at her with an amused furrowed brow. “Alright. Have fun.”
Moss skitters off to her bedroom and pulls out the five dollars she had had in her pocket when she arrived and sneaks her way out of the house.
She ventures around the city for a super long time, almost until her legs get wobbly, until she spots it! A grocery store!
She makes her way through the winding shelves keeping her eyes peeled for the brown box.
She’s so focused on the shelves that she doesn’t notice the girl looking up at the shelf. They tumble on the ground with an ‘oof!’
“Hey, what’s the matter with y— Moss?”
Moss’s eyes go wide. “Minnie?”
“Moss!” Minnie repeats. “I didn’t think I’d see you again!”
“Me neither!” Moss says. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m getting food with my Sunny,” Minnie says. “Are you here with your guardian?”
“Uh uh,” Moss says. “I’m surprising him with coffee.”
“That’s so cool!” Minnie says. “Here, lemme help you find it!” Minnie tugs Moss through the shelves and leads her to the coffee aisle.
Moss spots the coffee immediately, but it’s too high for her or Minnie to reach it.
“Darn,” Moss says.
“Wait,” Minnie says. “Lemme go get my Sunny. He can get it for us!”
Minnie runs away and Moss waits, but then an old man taps on her shoulder.
“Hi there, little miss. Are you lost?” he asks.
“I have to get coffee for my guardian!” Moss says. She pouts. “But I can’t reach it.”
“Here, let me,” he says. “Which one is it?”
Moss points at the box and he grabs it for her.
“Thank you, sir,” Moss says.
He awes and puts a hand on his chest. “How polite.” He ruffles her hair. “You have a nice day now, dear. And go find your guardian!”
Moss decides that this was a job well done and figures that she doesn’t need help from Minnie’s Sunny anymore, so she heads to the self checkout.
She makes it home and her arms are starting to ache from how heavy the coffee box is and Boy Her is freaking out.
The house is torn apart and Boy Her is laugh crying again.
“What’s wrong?” Moss says.
“Moss!” he says. “You… you’re okay.”
“I got you your coffee,” Moss says, holding out the box.
He takes the box and throws it to the floor and pulls her in for a hug. “I thought I lost you. I thought someone got you. I was losing my mind with worry. I can’t let anything happen to you, do you understand? You can’t— don’t— don’t do that, okay? You can’t just do that. You can’t just leave and not tell me where you’re going.”
“Okay,” Moss says. “I’m sorry.”
He freezes. He pulls away. “I know you didn’t mean anything bad from it. Just tell me next time, okay?”
She nods.
“Thank you for getting me my coffee,” he says. “That was very thoughtful of you. But you didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to,” Moss says. “I like making you happy.”
He softens. “You make me happy just by being you.”
MINNIE
Minnie is going through Sunny’s stuff because she’s super duper bored. She’s read through all his books and his TV doesn’t get any good channels.
There’s stuff she knows that she’s not allowed to touch but most of that is in his room and she knows not to go in his room.
Sunny is still asleep because he got home super later last night and woke her up when he came in.
Minnie sorts through all his drawers and is still bored.
She decides to start cleaning. That was something she did a lot when she lived with her dad and he was too tired to clean.
She’s almost done sweeping up in the living room when she spots Sunny’s motorcycle helmet discarded on the floor.
Helmets should go with shoes by the door!
She goes to pick it up but her fingers slip and the helmet starts beeping. Helmets aren’t supposed to beep, are they?
“Sunny?” Minnie calls.
It takes Sunny a few seconds but he comes in groggily. “Yeah?”
“Your helmet is beeping,” Minnie says.
Sunny’s eyes are suddenly wide and he sprints to Minnie, taking the helmet and throwing it before jumping on Minnie and covering her whole body with his.
Then… boom.
MOSS
Boy Her is having a “doesn’t get out of bed” kind of day so Moss has decided to make him something to eat.
She toasts the toast all by herself and it’s not even burnt and she spreads the peanut butter on and cleans the knife after she’s done.
Boy Her got apples so she also is giving him an apple. She’s cutting them into slices just the way she likes them.
But, while she’s making the slices in the apple, the knife slides off the round apple and cuts into her hand.
She screams.
Boy Her comes running in. “What— oh shit.” He rushes to her side and takes the dish towel and holds it to her hand.
“No, don’t ruin the white—”
“I don’t care about the towel, Moss. I care about you,” Boy Her says. “What happened?”
“I was trying to make you breakfast,” Moss says, tears falling down her cheeks and her hand burning.
Boy Her peeks at her hand. He hisses. “That’s gonna need stitches.” He scoops her up in his arms. “Come on,” he says. “Let’s get you fixed up.”
TIM
Tim heads to Leslie’s, entering through the back entrance deemed the Bat entrance, Moss still weeping in his arms.
He knocks the designated pattern on the door but surprisingly doesn’t get an immediate response. He tries again.
Leslie opens the door looking frazzled and dazed. “Are you dying?”
“No?” Tim says.
“Is she dying?” Leslie asks, glancing at Moss.
“Uh, no?”
“Then you’re treating her. I can’t right now.” Leslie ushers him in and sits him in a chair. “What does she need?”
“Stitches,” Tim says.
She pauses. “You can do stitches. Let me get you the stuff.”
And before Tim can say anything, she hurries away. In just another minute she comes in, almost throws the supplies at Tim, and hurries out again.
Tim stares at the supplies and a stray giggle escapes his lips. No. Not the time. Hold it back.
Tim numbs Moss’s hand and talks her through the stitches, trying to distract her as much as possible while fighting back the giggles that bubble up in his throat.
Tim is ready to leave when he’s stopped by the sound of soft cries.
Tim picks up Moss and turns the corner and sees a little girl. Moss looks down and she wiggles out of Tim’s grasp.
“Minnie!”
The girl — Minnie — looks up and runs to Moss, pulling her into a hug. “It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault. I can’t lose another dad.”
“What happened?” Moss asks.
“I was just moving Sunny’s helmet and then it blowed up!” Minnie says. “And he protected me and he got really hurt and he took us here and I’m not allowed to see him.”
“I’m sure he’ll be okay,” Moss says, squeezing her tighter.
Minnie’s cries settle down into just small hiccups and Moss pulls away, wiping Minnie’s eyes with her sleeves.
“Moss, who’s this?” Tim says.
“This is my friend, Minnie,” Moss says. “We met at the store.”
“Your dad is hurt, you said?” Tim says.
“Mhm,” Minnie says. “He’s not really my dad but he… he’s like my dad. We have the same last name so we’re, like, related.”
“What’s his name? I can go see if I can go get an update from the doctor.”
“His name is Jason Todd.”
And suddenly, the world crashes around Tim.
“Jason Todd?” he repeats, his voice strangled. “Your… your dad is Jason Todd.”
“He’s not really my dad,” Minnie says.
“You…” She’s like Moss. Jason Todd is alive and he has a little girl counterpart just like Tim. Holy shit. Jason Todd is alive.
Tim pushes past the girls and heads back where Leslie is and his breath catches in his throat.
That’s Jason Todd. Alive. Burnt and bleeding but real and alive.
Leslie is staring at Jason, his wounds properly treated leaving her to process the fact that he’s alive along with Tim.
Suddenly, Jason gasps awake, his hands shooting out. “Minnie! Minnie, where is she? Where’s Minnie?!”
“Sunny?!” Minnie shouts, running in.
“Minnie!” Jason croaks.
Minnie runs into his arms and Jason doesn’t even flinch as she tackles him with a hug. He holds her tight and rocks her back and forth. “You’re alright. You’re okay. Thank God. Thank fuck. You’re alright.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”
“No, sh, you didn’t mean to. It’s okay. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have left it out. That’s on me.”
He pulls away and cups her cheeks, searching her for more injuries and slackens with relief when he sees that she’s fine.
“You’re alright?”
“I’m alright,” Minnie says. “I was really scared but then Moss made me feel better.”
“Moss?” Jason says.
“She’s my friend,” Minnie says.
Jason looks around, probably looking for Moss’s friend, and instead makes eye contact with Tim.
Jason’s eyes glow green and that’s when everything suddenly goes to shit.
JASON
Jason comes to with bloody knuckles and an aching body.
His replacement, Tim Drake, the new robin, is curled up in the corner battered and beaten, laughing and sobbing.
Jason backs himself in the wall. “What the hell happened?”
Tim looks up at him and just cackles, screaming and pulling at his hair. And then, as if it didn’t happen at all, his laughter cuts out and his sickening smile is replaced with a blank, dead expression.
“Did I hurt Minnie?” Jason asks, his voice barely audible.
“No,” Tim says. “Leslie got her out. The only one hurt is me.”
“I…” Jason trails off. “I don’t know what happened.”
“You were dunked into the Lazarus Pit weren’t you?” Tim says.
Jason nods.
“Well,” he giggles, “there’s your answer.” He breaks out into a fit of giggles and starts crying again, knocking his head against the wall while he does so.
Jason knew. Vaguely. Barely. He knew that his replacement was fucked over by the Joker too, but he didn’t realize it was like this. And seeing it firsthand? Well, that rage he had felt for being replaced is suddenly shifted to rage at Bruce for letting another one of his Robins get ruined by the Joker.
Tim goes silent again and stares blankly at Jason.
“Why haven’t you told Bruce you’re still alive?” Tim asks, his voice flat.
“Starting with the easy questions, huh?” Jason says.
“Why?” Tim repeats.
“Probably for the same reason you haven’t told him you’re still fucked in the head,” Jason says.
“Oh, he knows. He just doesn’t want to acknowledge it.”
“Sounds like Bruce,” Jason says.
“That still doesn’t explain why you haven’t told Bruce you’re alive,” Tim points out.
“I can’t go back to Bruce when he let the Joker live. After everything he’s done.”
“Wait,” Tim says, brows scrunchign. “Do you think Joker’s still alive? I killed him years ago.” He cackles. “Daddy’s in the ground.”
Jason goes frozen. “What?”
“If there’s anyone who should be pissed that Bruce kept Joker living after you died, it should be me!” He laughs harder and then goes blank again. “Why are you so mad at Bruce, anyways? Shouldn’t you be mad at Joker? He’s the one who blew you to bits.”
Jason flinches at his choice of words. “Of course I’m mad at him.” But when Jason thinks about it, he hasn’t been. He’s never been mad at Joker. He’s only been mad at Bruce. Mad at not being avenged. Mad at not being saved.
“Well, I know where his corpse is if you want to desecrate his grave or something,” Tim says with a small chuckle.
“You know what?” Jason says. “I might take you up on that.”
They look at each other for a long moment, and Jason can feel the silent pact they make. Two birds broken by the Joker and let down by Batman. Two kids that deserved better. Two teens that will never be understood by anyone more than the other.
Leslie pops her head in and when she sees Jason isn’t trying to murder Tim, she lets herself in.
“Can I see Minnie?” Jason says.
“Are you stable?” Leslie asks.
“I am now,” Jason says.
“Look, Jason,” Leslie says. “I clearly don’t understand everything about how you came back, but from what I’ve just seen, you don’t seem like you are mentally in a place that is safe for that child.” She turns to Tim. “As are you Tim. So I need you to ask yourself some hard questions. Are you capable of caring for children in the mental place you are currently at? Is it safe for them to be raised by you?”
“What if it’s not just me raising her?” Jason says.
“What do you mean?” Leslie says.
“What if me and TIm parent them together?” Jason says “Keep each other in check.”
“From what I can tell, you two only seem to trigger each other,” Leslie says, pursing her lips unhappily.
“We’ve figured things out,” Tim says. “We’re chill now.”
She pauses, considering this, and lets out a breath. “I have stipulations.”
“Anything,” Jason says.
“You will make their home a home. Not a safehouse with bombs they can pick up and set off.” She glares at Jason. “And you will seek help. Yes. I am mandating you both to go to therapy. I know someone who is off the books and involved in the caped community that will talk to you. She will even protect your identity, Jason.”
“You’re… you’re not telling Bruce?” Jason says.
“It’s frankly not my place to tell him,” she says. “There’s a reason you haven’t but I hope that you will. Your father loves you and he mourned you and he misses you more than you know.”
“Thank you, Leslie,” Jason says. “Seriously. I don’t know how to thank you.”
“You’ll thank me by not letting those burns get infected,” she says. “And by taking care of those girls, but more importantly, taking care of yourself.”
“Thank you,” Jason says again.
“I missed you too, you know,” Leslie says.
“I missed you too, Leslie.”
TIM
They end up going to Tim’s penthouse since Jason’s safehouse was blown up and is inhabitable. Tim tends to Jason’s wounds and changes his bandages before they all collapse for the night.
Minnie stays in Moss’s room, Tim lets Jason take his room, and Tim takes the couch.
Tim lets himself crash and he doesn’t realize he’s fallen asleep until he’s abruptly awoken by the sound of clattering pans and high giggles.
Tim pulls himself off the couch and follows the voices and sees the girls sitting at the counter while Jason makes pancakes.
Both of the girls have small cups of watered down juice and are snacking on a bowl of fruit salad.
“Where did you get this?” Tim says. “I’m almost certain my pantry didn’t have this.”
“Apparently my pantry door was blast proof because everything inside was fine,” Jason says. “They’re gluten free. Me and Minnie can’t have it.”
“I don’t mind at all,” Tim says, taking a seat next to Moss.
Jason finishes his pancakes by flipping them onto a giant stack on a plate. “Alright! Soups on!”
Jason slides into the seat next to Tim and reaches over him to grab himself some pancakes. “You gonna have any? I made plenty.”
“I’m not hungry,” Tim says.
Jason shoots him a slightly confused look but just continues to his conversation with the girls he was having before Tim came to join them.
It’s baffling, seeing Jason like this. Seeing his Robin grown up, everything he expected him to be and more and yet also nothing at all like he imagined him to be.
The girls scrape their plates clean and wash up before standing beside Tim’s chair and tugging at his sleeve.
“Can we go play?” Moss says.
“Yeah, of course,” Tim says.
They squeal and run away, chattering excitedly with each other.
“Do you need me to take care of your burns?” Tim says.
“If you don’t mind getting my back,” Jason says.
“Not at all,” Tim says.
Jason pulls his shirt off, wincing as it pulls his burnt skin, and turns his back to Tim.
There’s something so intimate about it. Cleaning his wounds with gentle hands, applying the antibiotic cream and redressing them with care that he doesn’t even show himself.
“How did this happen?” Tim says. “Minnie said something about a helmet blowing up? What kind of helmet blows up?”
“The kind that no one is supposed to touch but me,” Jason says.
And Tim’s hands freeze. There’s a villain making their rounds around Gotham. One that wears a helmet. One that stole the name from the Joker.
Tim had laughed so hard he nearly threw up when he heard about the Red Hood. He thought Joker had somehow survived and was coming back for his revenge. But then Bruce assured him that it was a copycat in a red helmet. One that was making a point but not to Tim.
“You’re the Red Hood,” Tim says numbly.
Jason tenses. “Fuck.”
“You’re… you’re the Red Hood,” Tim repeats.
“Yeah, I am,” Tim says.
“And you… you still took in Minnie?” Tim says.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jason says, turning around to face Tim.
“I just can’t see the Red Hood being a parent.”
“Well, I’m Red Hood and I’m a damned good parent,” Jason says defensively.
“What?” Tim says. “So you’re gonna spend your afternoons going to PTA meetings and spend your evenings castrating pedophiles? You can’t have both.”
“And, what? You think you’re gonna be the perfect parent when you can barely function? I saw you this morning. You barely ate anything by the way that you look like a skeleton about to crumble into dust, I’m guessing you don’t eat much. You think that’s a good example to set for Moss?”
Tim scoffs. “Oh, and blowing the brains out of drug dealers is the moral compass you want to set for Minnie?”
“You of anyone should understand why I do this!” Jason says, his voice raising.
“And I do!” Tim shouts right back. “Fuck, of course I do, but you can’t expect this to not blow up in your face. You’re gonna get caught. Bruce is gonna find out you’re alive. You know he’s not gonna let you keep killing.”
Jason snarls. “Bruce doesn’t let me do anything.”
“He does when you’re in Gotham,” Tim points out.
“Oh, and you’re Bruce’s perfect lapdog, aren’t you? Well look where that got you!”
Silence.
“Fuck, Tim, wait—” Jason holds out a hand.
“You know, I really thought he was gonna save me,” Tim says, his voice emotionless. “Those first few days, hell those first few weeks, I was so defiant. So sure that Bruce was going to come crashing through the doors to save me. So I fought back. I wouldn’t let him break me. But there’s only so much electrocution you can take before the only thing you can do is break. There’s only so much hope you can have when you know that no one’s coming. So yes, I did believe in Bruce. But I can’t say I do anymore.”
“Tim—”
“No. I think you’ve said enough.” Tim throws the bandage in his hand on the table and goes to his room, slamming the door behind him.
JASON
Jason curses quietly and stares at the shut door.
Minnie comes out of Moss’s room wide eyed and scared.
Jason immediately shakes away whatever negative thought he has and goes to her. “Hey. What’s wrong?”
“You were fighting,” Minnie says. “Just like you were fighting before.”
“No, no, it’s… it’s definitely not like before,” Jason says.
“Are you gonna do that? Are you gonna fight a lot?” Minnie asks, her voice small.
“I don’t want to fight with Tim,” Jason says.
“But you did.”
Jason sighs. “Yeah, I did, didn’t I?” He runs a hand over his face. “Look, no matter how upset me and Tim get with each other it’s not… it’s not like your mom and dad. I’d never do that to Tim. And he’d never do that to me. We won’t hurt each other.”
“But you did,” Minnie says. “You hurt him.”
Jason lets out a shaky breath. “I know I did but I… that wasn’t right of me. There is no excuse. But I promise you, I do not want to hurt you. Or Moss. Or Tim.”
Moss comes out, hiding behind Minnie. “Is Boy Me okay?”
“He isn’t right now, but he will be,” Jason says.
Moss runs into the room and comes out with a stuffed frog. “Can you give him Cilantro? He always makes me feel better.”
Jason takes it with a soft smile. “Yeah. I can give him Cilantro.” He squeezes their shoulders. “Everything’s gonna be okay, alright?”
They nod.
“I’m gonna go talk to Tim now, okay? You guys go hang out. You can have some TV time if you want.”
Now distracted with TV time, the two run to the living room and hop on the couch.
Jason knocks on Tim’s door and he can hear the soft giggles and sobs on the other side.
“Tim, can I come in?” Jason says.
Tim’s giggles cut out. “Fine.”
Jason comes in and Tim’s a wreck. His eyes are bloodshoot and his face is puffy from crying.
Jason sits at the edge of Tim’s bed, unable to meet his eyes. “Moss wanted me to give this to you.”
“Thanks,” Tim says, his voice hoarse.
They sit in silence for a long moment until Jason finally gets the courage to break it. “I went to meet my birth mother. Me and Bruce were fighting and I thought maybe if he didn’t want me, she would. But instead she… she sold me out to the Joker. And he… he beat me with a crowbar until I could barely move and he set the timer for that bomb and left me for dead. And the whole time, while I was dragging my broken body to the door and staring at that number tick down, I was so sure that Bruce was gonna come bursting through those doors and carry me away. But he didn’t. He didn’t come. And I died. And I… I don’t know if I’ve forgiven him yet.”
“Yeah,” Tim says. “I don’t think I have either.” Tim squeezes Cilantro in his hands. “And I don’t know if it’s just not being saved that I haven’t forgiven him for.” He sucks in a breath. “When I became Robin, he didn’t want me. But when he was stuck with me, he… he made sure that I was prepared for the worst. He drilled me for hours so I would be better.”
“Better than me?” Jason says bitterly.
“Better than the mistakes that he blamed on himself,” Tim says. “And I lived in your shadow the entire time I was Robin. I was always going to be not you. I was always going to be a reminder of what he lost. And I could never escape that.”
“That sucks,” Jason says. “I… I get that. I felt like I could never be Dick. That I could never live up to his holy goodness.”
Tim snorts. “Yeah. Well, imagine competing with the dead kid that was immortalized in rose colored glass.”
And that makes Jason laugh. Tim doesn’t laugh though but Jason can see the mischievous humor in the glint in his eye.
Tim doesn’t talk about being taken by the Joker and Jason doesn’t ask him about it. Maybe one day, but not now. Not when things are still tentative and fragile.
“I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing,” Tim says. “With Moss. With… my life.”
“Me neither,” Jason admits. “But hey, we’ll figure it out together.”
Tim’s lips twitch up. “Together.”