Chapter Text
The early morning sun was not my greatest ally on weekends. I woke up earlier on the morning of 20 November, at 9:28 am, to be exact. Usually, I’d wake up sometime in the post-meridian hours on the weekend, but today was special; it was one of my good friends, Keqing’s birthday. The alarm blared in my ear, though its annoyance was eclipsed by the expectation of what would happen during the upcoming day. My body was uncooperative; I was still sitting at the bedside in my nightclothes, groggy and rubbing and rubbing my eyes at 9:30 am, when my father came into the room, drawing the curtains open. A Sunday morning sun was something to my eyes, and I quickly blocked the light, allowing my eyesight to become accustomed to the radiation in the room. “Yoimiya, you have three choices right now: miss Keqing's birthday, get up, or have a big old bucket of cold water thrown on you,” my father said, jesting about the third option.
My father, Ryuunosuke was pretty nice; he owned the family’s workshop for fireworks. “Alright, pops, I’m going to brush my teeth and go to the bathroom,” I said.
Standing up, I rushed to the bathroom in order to quickly finish my morning routine. I nervously shifted as I counted the seconds while I was on the toilet or brushing my teeth, jumping up and down excitedly as I finished the last of my brushing maneuvers. I put on the outfit I had laid out for myself the night before, taking a quick look in the mirror to make sure that I didn’t do anything wrong. Hurriedly running down the stairs to eat my breakfast, which I easily wolfed down in a matter of minutes, I bid goodbye to my father, even though he was hard of hearing.
I arrived at the location Keqing requested us to be at a few minutes ahead of schedule. “It’s rare to see you early for something, Yoimiya,” Keqing said, waving at me as I aimlessly wandered around the area.
“Hey! That’s offensive; the school’s just so boring; can you blame me? Not everyone can pull off miracles by being workaholics, you know,” I said, fake whining. “Seriously, how do you work that long? And how do you maintain a relationship with a girlfriend when the only thing you both do is work?”
“Alright, now that’s offensive; plus, Ganyu and I went sightseeing on Mt. Aocang last week! It’s my birthday; you have to be nice to me.”
Our conversation was interrupted by a bouncy figure approaching from the distance with low-hanging twintails. “Heya! The future 77th director of the Wangsheng Funeral parlor has arrived!”
Keqing turned around, facing Hu Tao. “It looks like latecomer number two has arrived.”
Hu Tao placed her hand on her chest, feigning hurt. “I’m not giving you a coupon for your funeral if you continue like that, cat ears.”
Rolling her eyes, Keqing said, “Tao, your little coupons can go to hell.”
“Salty that your girlfriend isn’t giving you much attention, meow meow?”
“You're single, Hu Tao,” Keqing said. “And no, we just went sightseeing on Mt. Aocang last week.” I giggled at their antics. Those two can be so childish sometimes, I thought.
At Keqing’s request, we would first go into a store that sold Rex Lapis merch and then a rock music store. When we entered the Rex Lapis store, Keqing became a completely new person; we had witnessed her transformation, but apparently, something was special about this store. She flew into a frenzy, almost teleporting herself to a section of the store that looked pretty normal to me. I don’t get what’s so special about this compared to the other Rex Lapis dolls she has in her collection; they seem pretty similar to me. “Keqing, what’s so special about the dolls in this section? They all look the same to me.”
Keqing took her arms and tightly grasped my shoulders. When did her hands get so strong? My shoulders kind of hurt. My clothes wrinkled from her grip. “You simpleton! You do not understand the statistics regarding Rex Lapis. Plus, it is not this section that is special; it is only one doll that resides in this section,” she said, rescanning the aisle and taking out a doll that looked exactly like its counterparts.
“That doll looks basically the same as the other dolls though; what’s so special about it?” I tried to find any inconsistencies, but my mind was empty.
“You seriously can't see the special power given to this by the Archons? While normal ratios for Rex Lapis dolls present themselves as 99 to 49, this one presents itself as 9902 to 4901. These dolls are incredibly valuable, and the uncultured really can't tell the difference. I can’t believe you’re like this, Yoimiya.”
I decided against saying anything more, asking her whether we were going to purchase the doll or not. “Of course we’re getting this doll; this was practically the whole point of entering this Rex Lapis store.”
She marched to the counter with me trailing behind her, the sound of her footsteps reverberating throughout the building; she walked with an aura of dominance that I’d only seen when she kicked people out of the student council. “I’d like to buy this, please,” she stated to the worker at the counter.
“I’m sorry, this item is currently not for sale,” he said.
I watched as she fished through her purse as if she was taking out contraband. When she took out a large pouch of mora, I stared at her as if the Fatui had done something good. Is she seriously trying to bribe someone to break their own store’s policy? Oh god, I have to tell Ganyu about this. Unconsciously, I began slightly jumping up and down at Keqing’s odd behavior.
Keqing placed the bag on the table, leaning forward to whisper something in the worker’s ear; I couldn’t hear anything she said, but the worker only shook his head. I saw Keqing take out four more bags of mora, around the same size as the first. Where the fuck is she getting all this mora from? Jeez, do I get mora for being a good friend? This time, she succeeded; the worker relented, letting her have the plushie, taking four bags of mora and secretly putting them in his bag; he dumped the last bag into the register. “Should we look for Hu Tao now?” I asked.
“We probably should; hopefully, she isn’t off doing stupid shit or causing trouble. I heard there’s a retirement home two blocks north of here.”
We looked at each other for a few seconds; it looked like we were having a telepathic conversation. “Yeah,” we said simultaneously, “she’s off doing stupid shit again.”
We were alerted to her location by a small scuffle and shouts of “free coupons for Wangsheng Funeral Parlor!” Turning around and walking a certain distance north, we saw Hu Tao getting in a brawl with a different set of retirement home staff. “Stop! They haven’t learned about all the ways they can save money with -”
“I’m terribly sorry ma’am, but advertising a funeral service in front of our elderly residents is against our policy; we’re going to have to remove you from the premises.”
“What! I was going to say Geico!” Hu Tao writhed, protesting about being removed from another retirement home.
“Bullshit,” Keqing said. “We all know you were fucking around and causing trouble.”
“I was introducing them to the joys of reducing expenses!” Hu Tao whined, angrily admitting defeat and walking away towards Keqing.
Before Keqing could respond, I interjected. “Hey Keqing, how much mora was in each of those pouches you handed to that guy?”
“100 thousand,” she said.
“Wow! How did you manage to calmly pull 500 thousand mora on a Rex Lapis plushie just like that?”
Keqing looked upward, seemingly slightly embarrassed. When she finally responded, she was quiet. “It’s all Ningguang’s money.”
Hu Tao lept up like she had just won the lottery. “Wow! Does cat ears have a secret sugar mommy she isn’t telling her girlfriend about? I am so telling Ganyu about this.”
I laughed when Hu Tao said that; even though she was slightly odd, her humor was mostly on point. “Yoimiya, Hu Tao, if you both continue that I am not afraid and will sue you both for defamation.”
Hu Tao gasped. “Oh no! Luckily for me though, cat ears, I can just get Yanfei to defend me in court.”
“Tao, with how indefensible and stupid your position, even Yanfei won’t be able to save you.”
A loud grumble erupted from Keqing’s stomach, causing her to turn a shade of red brighter than my deep red fireworks. “Looks like Keqing is having a another episode of ‘Keqing gets embarrassed again,’” I quietly whispered, hushed enough that no one heard.
“Well, you sure as hell aren’t doing anything on that stomach,” Hu Tao instinctively blurted.
“Hu Tao, I will fucking eat every single coffin the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor has in its basement. If that doesn’t work, I’m also going to be helping myself to the Yanfei photocard that you have in your room; I know it’s there Hu Tao, don’t deny it.”
Hu Tao, being the drama queen that she was, fell to the ground, spasming. As she slithered around on the ground, she periodically erupted with a series of coughs or groans. “Hu Tao, Keqing, this is really funny, but I think we can just go to Wanmin restaurant for lunch,” I said. Hu Tao stood up, her coffins no longer in danger due to Keqing’s appetite.
Wanmin Restaurant was a friendly place; it wasn’t huge like Liuli Pavillion or Xinyue Kiosk; they were so big and intimidating. Plus, Xiangling worked there, which was a huge plus; she was always an enjoyable person to be around. “Hey there; it’s Keqing, Hu Tao, and someone I don’t know! What can I get for you all?” Xiangling came to greet us to take our orders; despite all of the traffic Wanmin could get, they kept their hired staff to a minimum. “Oh, Keqing, since it’s your birthday, everything for you three is on the house.”
“Thank you, Xiangling. I would like to order a serving of Golden Shrimp Balls. Hu Tao, Yoimiya what would you two like?”
“Some steamed fish and prawn dumplings for me, of course.”
“I knew you’d get that, Hu Tao. What about you?” She looked at me.
“I’ll have a tiny bit of everything,” I adamantly said; after all, that was the best and superior way to enjoy food, by sampling bits of everything. It’s just like buying from all the stalls during a festival.
“Alright! Your orders will be back in a few minutes!” She ran off into the kitchen, leaving us sitting alone at our table.
We sat in silence for half a minute before I spoke. “Keqing, just how much mora did Ningguang give you?”
Keqing paused, grabbing a notebook from her bag. On the cover, I briefly noticed “Finance Records” on it. She must have recorded her gift there, I thought. “I’ve found it, Yoimiya; from my records … she gave me over … 25 million mora.”
Hu Tao and I spat out the water we were drinking, attracting ugly stares from the bystanders. “The what, cat ears? How does she afford to give away that much mora for a student council member’s birthday?” She almost slammed the table, but somehow she gained a little bit of common sense.
“First of all, I’m not ‘just a member;’ I’m behind just her and Ganyu, and also a few others. Second, she makes that amount of mora in a week. For her, it’s not a large sum; her family’s net worth is hovers in the hundreds of billions.”
We stared at Keqing, mouths agape as we processed the information she had just thrown at us. “She makes more money in a week than my family has made in ten generations,” Hu Tao said, loudly sighing and laying her head on the table. I followed suit, imagining what kind of new fireworks I could invent with even a tenth of that amount that mora. The colors flashed in my head, the beautiful night skies ever present in my imagination.
“Come on you two, don’t be so gloomy; come on, here’s 100 thousand mora for each of you.” She took two bags out, placing one in front of each of us.
“Oh wow, you’re the best, Keqing! I could almost hug you!” Hu Tao cheered, and her spirit immediately lifted.
“Please don’t; I don’t want dead body gunk on my clothes.”
“Say, Keqing,” I said, “how much did you give to Ganyu?”
Keqing averted her gaze, and I saw a slight red hue taint her cheeks. “Two … two and a half million.”
Hu Tao stood up, pointing an accusatory finger at Keqing. “What! You cheated us; I demand -”
“Your order has arrived, all of you! Golden shrimp balls, steamed fish and prawn dumplings, and a little bit of everything,” Xiangling said, placing the dishes in front of us.
“Thank you very much, Xiangling; Wanmin’s service is excellent,” Keqing said.
“No problem!” Xiangling began skipping away, humming, “Golden shrimp balls, steamed fish and prawn dumplings, and a little bit of everything~.”
I stared at the delicacies laid out in front of me. Wow, they smell and look great; no wonder Hu Tao and Keqing also ramble around about Wanmin, I thought. I reached towards the dish that looked like a large fluffy rice cake with my utensils, deciding to poke it a few times before inserting a bit into my mouth. When it entered my mouth, flavors spread throughout; it was as if I had just discovered a new and innovative firework that created twice the “boom!” of a normal firework. Wow, I need to tell Keqing and Hu Tao about this! “Psst! Keqing and Hu Tao, this dish is absolutely amazing!” I quietly whispered to gain their attention.
I watched Hu Tao look up, her mouth stuffed with fish; I snickered, though I wasn’t able to take a picture. “Well, everything at Wanmin is amazing; just wait until you try all that other stuff you ordered,” she said, making a giant hand movement to encapsulate all of the food. “It’s going to be better than a free funeral at the parlor.”
I looked over to Keqing for a response, but I saw her stuffing herself with shrimp balls, her face ecstatic. “We so do have to take a picture of this,” I said to Hu Tao. She grinned, and we both took our phones out to snap a picture for future reference. I continued the rest of the meal in peace, making sure to savor every bite and to remember to show Keqing the picture of her stuffing herself with shrimp balls sometime later.
The next place we decided to visit was a rock music album store. It was a medium-sized store with a wide variety of albums inside it. However, by the time we reached the store, a faint red glow tainted the blue sky of the day; it was nearing sunset. We stood outside of the store for a few seconds, watching a red hue slowly envelop the sky. “It looks like we’re a bit behind schedule; this is unfortunate, as I wanted to buy some records from this store. It seems like it’ll be dark before we’ll be done. That’s sad,” Keqing said, sighing, clearly exasperated.
“Wait! I have an idea; we can just light the sky with the power of fireworks!” I said. Fireworks to the rescue!
“Yoimiya, is there a new challenge called ‘get arrested speedrun’ trending on social media lately? Although, you did remind me of another way to get the things I want.” Hu Tao and I stared at each other, wondering what Keqing could be planning; even though she was efficient, it was still an arduous endeavor to catalog and buy the records from the store with its shelves stacked. “Come on, follow me; you’ll see what I’m planning.”
Hu Tao and I hesitantly followed her into the store, exchanging awkward glances from time to time. After all, with Keqing’s personality, no one knew what could happen, especially in a decisive situation. We ended up near the counter, where we all presumed the owner was. “Hello, are you the owner of this fine establishment?”
The man faced Keqing. “Yes, I am the owner of this store. Is there anything I can help you with?”
I listened to Keqing, wondering what she was going to say next. “How much mora would it cost to purchase this whole store? You see, I am in a time crunch, and I must get home before it’s dark.”
Hu Tao and I exchanged the same surprised look, telepathically communicating our astonishment at Keqing’s actions, otherwise known as “What the fuck is she doing?”
The man was taken aback by the question, but he replied, “5 million mora; there are many valuable and vintage items -”
“Deal.” Keqing reached into her bag, taking out many more pouches of mora. Doesn’t that thing get heavy to lug around with all that mora?
Keqing left the store with us five million morae poorer but one rock album store richer.
We arrived at her house when the sky was orange and red, like the leaves of autumn that decorated the sidewalks and lawns of the houses near hers. “Hello girls! I see you’re back just in time; would you like to have dinner now or later?” Her mother heartwarmingly greeted us, opening the door to let us in.
“We can have dinner later, mother; we all had a relatively large meal at Wanmin Restraunt and are currently not hungry. You can expect to have rumbling in 105 minutes; though, until then, you can expect us to be upstairs in my room,” Keqing said, taking her shoes off and putting their shoe rack.
“Well, have fun girls!” Her mother waved at us as we ascended the stairs of their house to Keqing’s room.
“So, cat ears, are you going to tell your mom about your sugar mommy’s donations?” Hu Tao asked once we had entered Keqing’s room.
“First of all, Ningguang is not my sugar mommy; I believe there is already another recipient of her financial aid, though I will not specify the identity of that person. Second, I plan to inform her about our new financial situation during dinner.”
I rolled my eyes. Keqing can get so formal and defensive sometimes. “Hey, how about we do some spin the bottle?”
Keqing looked at me like I was a madman. “With only three people? When you send two people to kiss in the closet, there won’t be enough people to continue playing.”
“Oh come on,” I whined, “we can just do truth or dare. Since you’re the birthday girl, you can spin first.”
Keqing smiled, grabbing a stray water bottle. She spun it, and when its motion ended, its front end was facing me. Oh no, I thought. “Wow, looks like you’re unlucky, Yoimiya,” she said, “for your dare, you have to … become girlfriends with your dear crush, Kamisato Ayaka, within a month, or by 20 December!”
Me? Get with Ayaka within only a month’s time? “What? You know I can’t do that, Keqing! Isn’t there some rule against this type of dare?”
She smirked; it was clear that she wanted to torment me. “Last I checked, there wasn’t any official truth or dare rulebook. I would also like to note your clear lack of denial about your feelings for one Kamisato Ayaka. You can begin trying to be her girlfriend by I don’t know, writing her a nice poem. I think she likes those.”
Hu Tao stood up. “Miya and Ayaka sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” she recited, acting in a stage drama.
I groaned. “Alright fine, I’ll go write this poem. Now give me some pretty paper.”
“Oh ho, wanting to make a good impression on your crush, I see?” Hu Tao said.
“Let me do my dare in peace, Tao,” I said, walking over to Keqing’s desk to write my poem. Words drifted into my head, but I couldn’t form any coherent lines that would befit this type of poem; Ayaka was extremely respected, and I couldn’t just throw junk into a poem to her. I was extremely frustrated at my lack of writing, drowning out Hu Tao and Keqing’s background chatter. Is this what they call writer’s block? I racked my brain for inspiration, spending an excruciatingly long time, though I eventually managed to form something that was worthy of being presented to her.
Upon finishing, I gasped, exhausted from my efforts. Wow, that brainwork made me hungry. “Hey Keqing, how long is it until dinner?”
For some reason, Hu Tao and Keqing burst into uncontrollable laughter. “Miya,” Keqing said, “dinner ended two hours ago; you were so engrossed in writing your poem that you didn’t hear my mom calling for us.”
“Hey! At least same some for me.”
“Don’t worry, there are leftovers to spare, though,” she said, walking over to look at my poem, “that poem really is good. I guess your feelings for her extend deeper than we all thought; you really do love her, huh?” Her facial expression shifted from slightly apologetic to something of a teasing grin.
I groaned.
Note to self: google how to disappear from your friends for a month once you get home.