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Fan felt exhausted, hell, exhausted felt like an understatement but the storm the previous night made getting any actual sleep impossible. The day had just been one giant damn headache as he got ready to wind down for the night and get some rest. He had changed into sleep pants and a button up sleep shirt before crawling under the covers of his bed. Fan pressed his face into the pillow and hoped he could finally just fall asleep. As he edged closer to sleep, just at the cusp of being unconscious a loud scream caused him to sit up in bed quickly. The screaming continued and the man hurried to get out of the bed and to the door, roughly yanking it open and stepping into the hall. Fan was surprised to see the other doors opening and various others looking out as well. First was the tall lanky man who always wore a mask, Jack, then he spotted the quiet Geisha step out.
"What is that damn racket?" Jack hissed in annoyance.
Fan looked at the floor and tried to decipher if he could recognize the screaming to no avail but did realize it was coming down the hall from the left corridor. He silently shut the door and turned, jumping when he spotted the small boy Robbie standing at his feet.
"Why is Mr.Joseph screaming?" He peered around.
Joseph?
Fan furrowed his brows and quickly turned to run down the hall. Sure enough as he grew closer to the Photographer's door the screaming grew louder. Finally reaching the door he realized three others were close behind him, Michiko, Robbie, and Leo.
"When did you get here?" He asked the man who was already in front of the door with his hand on the handle.
"Not too long ago." He spoke.
"It's probably locked."
"Suppose we'll need to break the lock then."
"Isn't that a bit dramatic and rash?" All turned to see Jack coming up and crossing his arms.
"We do not know what's wrong, he may be injured?" Michiko spoke quietly.
"He sounds scared!" Robbie tugged at Jack's robe.
Not another word had to be said as Leo slammed his weight against the door two times, by the third the door swung open.
"Quick to respond."
"I had to be quick to respond, you never knew when screams or cries were from real danger." The man had an almost solemn expression on his face but Fan pushed the worries aside to go into the room.
Inside, sure enough the pale blond haired Photographer was thrashing violently in his bed, screaming like a banshee. Fan hurried to his side but froze seeing the man's skin appearing to crack. He had seen this only a very small amount of times after a match or if he was stressed enough to be frazzled. The man reached to take his shoulders and carefully shake him.
"Joseph, wake up."
He didn't seem to stir but he did seem to be crying as his screams soon had breaks of pained sobs in between. Fan could feel as others gathered around the door and few stepped into the darkened room. The man huffed and shook the man more.
"Wake up, dammit…!" He cursed.
A moment passed and soon the man's eyes shot open and he jumped to be sitting up, panting heavily and tears still streaming down his face.
"Hey, it's okay… You must have been having a bad dream…" Fan awkwardly tried to soothe.
He always wasn't very good at offering comfort.
Joseph stared up at Fan, the cracking of his skin seemingly stopped and faded, like a shattering mirror being set in reverse. It seemed he was processing what happened before releasing a pained wail and dropping his head again.
"You're making quite the scene." Jack tapped his clawed fingers against the door.
"Oh hush, he must be shaken up." Leo frowned.
"You're safe now." Michiko offered.
The blond man threw his face into the taller man’s chest causing him to blush in embarrassment. As he raised a hand to try and offer him comfort he froze seeing Joseph's hair seemed to turn gray and fall flat, he jumped when his eyes darted down to see part of his face and it was full of wrinkles. It was as if the Photographer was aging rapidly before his very eyes. Now this, Fan had only ever seen once before, and he truly wished he wouldn't see it again. He only knew vague bits and pieces on whatever Joseph accomplished with his photography, but he did know his youthful appearance was due to it. The man never confessed his true age but Fan at least had an inkling of an idea when one evening as Joseph was visibly angry and panicked the exact same occurrence happened. He aged before his eyes and even though it was only for a fraction of a second, Fan had gotten a single glimpse of Joseph Desaulnier, the tired older gentleman who gave up everything in pursuit of his otherworldly techniques. When he realized what was happening he silently stood to collect himself and the clock turned back until he was as he always had. In honesty, it was frightening to both Fan and Xie the prospect of someone being able to will the changes of time on their body and freeze it at a youthful point. Was a natural and timely death such a bad thing? Neither truly understood the obsession with preserving youthfulness and the fear of growing older. Aging was a gift of life, you did everything you could in that time to feel fulfilled and happy, then when it was your time to pass on there wouldn't be too many regrets. This was also why Fan and Xie had perhaps ended as they were now, never to be together in separate bodies again, that pain and agony of Fan's sudden departure meant he couldn't pass on peacefully, and Xie's desperate action to reunite locked both into the life they had now. Fuck, I left Bi'an alone…! Fan tried to pull the man from his chest so he could hold his gaze. Once he got a full view of Joseph's aged and tired face he felt a chill shoot up his spine.
"I need to go get Bi'an he's probably panicked about all the commotion. I'll be back, I promise." He gave a worried look to those still in the room in hopes someone would step forward to take his spot seated in the bed.
Fan had been about to accept that no one intended to take his place but Michiko and Leo both stepped forward as did Robbie. He released a tense sigh and gave a quiet apology as he pried the Photographer's hands from his shirt. He looked terrible… The man quickly turned out of the room and did his best not to sprint in a panic back to his room to retrieve the umbrella. Fan noted he hadn't even properly closed the door as he rushed in and picked up the umbrella from where he had it leaned against the headboard.
"Bi'an, I am so sorry to just leave you here…"
"I-I was worried sick…! I suddenly hear screaming and then you vanish, what am I supposed to do or say? I felt so helpless, if something was happening to you and I couldn't even do anything-" The man's chest ached hearing how panicked Xie sounded.
"It's okay, I'm here, I'm okay. The screaming was Joseph… I'm not sure what happened aside from he must have been having a terrible nightmare."
"... Is he okay now?"
"I don't think so, let's go back to help." Fan held the umbrella tightly in his hands before making his way back to the Photographer's room.
Arriving back the crowd had dispersed and the only one's left were the same three Fan had left in charge of keeping an eye on the man. He paused upon entering, seeing Michiko was stroking the man's hair and humming quietly while Robbie lay asleep at the foot of the bed and Leo stood leaned against the banister. The mostly black haired man released a sigh of relief seeing Joseph's appearance had been back to his usual. He knew that the elderly appearance he had seen was how the man truly looked, but all it did was make him feel unsettled and paranoid. Fan moved back to the bed and sat at the man's side while Michiko stepped back.
"You all must be tired… Go back to sleep, I'll stay with him."
"Alright… Please try to rest as well, Wujiu." Michiko gave a small bow and began to make her way back to the door but paused remembering Robbie was asleep.
"Ah-"
"I'll get him, no need to worry." Leo scooped the boy into his arms and followed Michiko out the door before they closed it.
Fan returned his attention back to Joseph who was now on his side with his eyes wide open.
"... Would you like to talk about what happened?"
"Does it matter?" Joseph sounded tired.
"Well, it matters to us." Came Xie's voice from the umbrella in Fan's hand.
"... I saw Claude… He was running through the halls but no matter how fast I ran after him he was just out of reach. Then I turned a corner and there was this large framed photo on the wall and he was in there. God… He had blood coming from his mouth and he looked so ill… Just like…" He paused and swallowed, "I couldn't believe it, it wasn't possible. When I reached out and my fingers brushed it he let out this horrible pained scream. He told me that I had done this to him, that since I had taken a photo before he passed that he would forever be just as he was then, on his deathbed."
Joseph began to shake and tears welled up in his eyes again.
"I told him I was sorry, that I hadn't meant for that, that that was never what I wanted. He screamed and cried and I can still hear him now, he sounded so scared… I swore I would never meddle with photography again, that I didn't want anyone else to suffer that fate. But I still caused him to suffer."'
Fan sighed as he leaned over to carefully pull the Photographer into his arms and stroke his hair.
"What's done is done, it was all just a nightmare… You didn't cause him to suffer, that had nothing to do with you." The man felt a pain in his chest, a silent wish that the same could have been said for himself.
"If I could turn back time, truly hone my craft I could save him-"
"What is done is done." Fan spoke firmly, "There is nothing you can do now to change the past. Please stop blaming yourself." He felt like he wasn't getting anywhere with the man; why couldn't he actually be good at helping others feel better?
"Wujiu, may I try?" The other man’s voice came from the umbrella.
"Ah, yeah, perhaps you fare better than me." Fan reached a hand to hold the umbrella to allow the man to swap with him.
Joseph hadn't even flinched as the men traded spaces and Xie now held him. Xie looked down at the man and stroked his hair.
“Losing someone who means everything to you is such an unimaginable pain, I know how hard that must be for you, but Joseph I can say that you didn’t cause him to suffer nor pass on, most of us do not get a say in when we too pass. Death touches everything and we are all born to die one day, I’m sorry. I’m sure Claude adored you with all his heart, you were his brother and you mean just as much to him as he does to you, he may be gone but he will never truly be gone since you carry him with you everyday. His memory, his image, death is never the end of anyone because they live on in memories, in photos, in stories, in our hearts. Nothing can take that away from us, and cannot take that away from you.”
Joseph seemed to have paused to look up at the man, seeing the warm smile on his face he felt his eyes burn with tears. The pale blond man buried his face in the other’s chest and began to cry again.
“It’s okay… You will be okay…”
Fan listened quietly, the ache from before again made itself known within the mostly black haired man’s chest. For a second he found himself feeling bitter, a bad taste like iron filling his mouth, knowing that neither he nor Xie heeded their own preachings. What a cruel joke. He thought, noting how Xie’s eyes shot towards the umbrella for a second before going back to the man in his arms.
“My apologies for everything… I hadn’t expected my own nightmares to disturb everyone here.”
“That’s okay, I think that humans should be able to burden one another. If you love someone they are worth the work and the understanding that you shouldn’t have to put yourself within a box and not allow yourself to take up the room you do. Partnerships are give and take, do not feel as though you cannot take when we are nothing but happy to give. All we ask is that you return the favor when you can.” Xie leaned in to kiss the top of Joseph’s head.
“Am I truly worth the work?”
“You will always be worth the work.” Xie murmured softly, moving to kiss his forehead.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be much help…” Fan spoke up almost nervously.
Joseph raised his head to the umbrella at their side then picked it up to hold to his chest.
“Not everyone has a way with words, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t tell you very much wanted to help. I’m happy you wanted to help me in the first place. Thank you, Wujiu.”
“You must be exhausted.” Xie spoke.
“Very much so… May you please stay with me for the evening…?” Joseph asked cautiously.
“Of course.”
Both men adjusted till both were under the covers and the umbrella was between them.
“Won’t this be uncomfortable or inconvenient for you two?” Fan huffed.
“No such thing.” Joseph pressed closer to Xie’s chest.
“Please rest well, you are safe.” Xie wrapped his arms around Joseph and Fan before closing his eyes.
May you both rest well. Fan knew he should rest as well but he was fearful that the Photographer would be plagued by a nightmare again that he rather stay up a little bit to ensure he was okay. At least it wasn’t storming again.