Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If I held my breath for the next time we'd meet, I never could have known you'd fill my lungs so soon.

A lot had changed in the year and a half since the war ended. When the dust had settled, fallen comrades and enemies sharing the same resting place among the rubble, it had been the final push Keigo had needed to resign (among other things). It didn’t help that in his weeks in the hospital, his wings had not shown a single sign of growing back. When a quirk expert was brought in, they had only confirmed his fears, he was grounded.

Keigo had expected it really. Truthfully, he hadn’t planned on living through the battle, if it hadn’t been for multiple heroes making up for his short-comings, he wouldn’t have. Coming out on the other side when greater heroes than himself hadn’t was a heavy weight on his shoulders and while that weight had lessened in the time that had passed, it still hung onto the space between his shoulder blades where his wings used to be.

When he resigned, effectively retiring from what was left of the hero industry, he wasn’t the only one but he was the youngest. “DEVASTATED BY RESULTS OF FINAL BATTLE, NO 2 HERO HAWKS RETIRES” one article had said. He’d refused any interviews on the matter. In the weeks that followed his decision, Keigo finally took the time to properly unpack his few belongings into his new, smaller apartment. Rented under his civilian name, it felt less suffocating than the penthouse given to him by the HPSC on his debut.

In that time, Aizawa Shouta from UA had come to visit. It was unexpected as they hadn’t spoken since the public memorial service. He brought with him an envelope containing multiple references for psychiatrists and therapists.

“Forgive me for overstepping, but I looked into your situation after Touya released his video. Now that the war is over; if you have the time, you should consider making an appointment. The costs are taken care of by your retirement benefits.”

Keigo had gone on the defensive at the suggestion, but tried to keep his tone light, “I may be damaged goods, but my brain is doing just fine.”

Aizawa hadn’t seemed to like his joke, but he was patient. “You’re not damaged goods and therapy isn’t just for ‘sick’ minded people. Visit one of these names and tell them a bit about yourself, see how it goes. I’ll keep in touch.” He had left then, not giving Keigo the chance to argue more.

Keigo had let the papers sit on his coffee table for only a day before contacting the first name on the list.

There had also been an instance when a lawyer had called and asked for his statement, ‘ on the Touya Todoroki case’ he had explained. They wanted him to give a statement on Touya’s character while he had posed as his ally. Keigo had thought better of it and politely declined.

Therapy became a biweekly occurrence. It turned out that when Keigo finally got around to letting the mask slip, he was just as broken on the inside as he was on the outside. Opening up wasn’t easy and he often found himself trying to reason to the kind woman he visited that those who had hurt him in the past all had good reason.

I was a burden, a child they didn’t want, I wasn’t strong, it was only training, I wouldn’t have been no 2 if they hadn’t, I betrayed them, I killed his friend.

He was great at making excuses for others but horrible at cutting himself any sort of slack. When the things his therapist told him finally started to sink in, he found himself returning to his empty apartment and feeling hollow. It became difficult to sleep at night with thoughts pounding against his skull and he’d have trouble breathing if he dwelled on them for too long. He wasn't surprised when she prescribed him multiple medications.

They weren’t perfect, but they helped and Keigo quickly learned they weren’t the type of pills you stopped taking when you started to feel better. Depression wasn’t a head cold and it left a much larger scar.

But maybe the most surprising change in that year and a half was Keigo’s new housemate. Rufus the golden retriever. His therapist had mentioned the possibility of a service dog or ESA and he had promptly gone home and done research into it. Rufus was neither of those things. He was from the shelter a neighborhood over, maybe four years old and already house training.

Keigo loved Rufus. He had never had a pet before and had never understood how people could condone the caging of animals for their own gain. Keigo was embarrassed to admit that he had had to look up if animals liked being pets before he could visit the shelter without feeling guilty.

Despite his energetic breed, Rufus wasn’t loud and he didn’t disturb the neighbors below or beside them in the building. He didn’t chew on shoes or clothes like Keigo had heard of in movies. He had a habit of joining Keigo in bed and on the couch and falling asleep with all 30 furry kilograms on Keigo’s chest. He didn’t mind, he enjoyed the affection.

Because Rufus was so well behaved, Keigo hadn’t expected anything different when they went for walks in the nearby parks. That mistake nearly cost Keigo his hand with the way he had the leash around his wrist and Rufus had taken off running after a cat in the bushes.

Barely catching himself, he had run after his dog shouting his name, thoroughly embarrassed as couples turned to see an ex-hero bested by his own dog. The chase continued all the way to the lake at the center of the park and Keigo cursed when the leash slipped through his fingers for the third time. He could really use some telekinetic feathers right about then.

“Rufus! Sit!” The retriever instead bounded after the terrified cat that scurried under an occupied bench. Rufus, much too big, tried running around the man with his back to them and the man caught his leash, finally bringing the chase to an end.

Out of breath and fresh out of any pride, Keigo rounded the bench. “Thank you so much, we’re still training. I didn’t mean to bo-” He hadn’t taken the time to make eye contact before but when he reached for the leash his fingers brushed over thin fingers and partially healed scars that were all too familiar. His voice faltered and his blood ran cold. Straightening, he finally looked at the man’s face.

Touya.

The ex-villain looked only slightly less surprised by the chance encounter. He closed the book he had been reading and stood. Keigo swallowed the lump in his throat as he took in the much healthier skin that was becoming more prominent on what parts of Touya’s skin he could see. The scars below his eyes were barely visible and the scars on his cheeks had retreated to barely his jaw line. His staples were gone.

“You…” he said intelligently.

“Hawks,” Touya sounded much less phased by the encounter.

Keigo blinked back into himself and shook his head clear. “I retired. It’s Keigo now.”

Touya shrugged and leaned over to pat Rufus’ face. The retriever’s tail wagged joyfully. Weren’t dogs supposed to be a good judge of character? “Who’s your friend?”

“My… um- service dog.” He didn’t need to know that.

“I don’t think you understand how service dogs work,” Touya snorted. “Service dogs aren’t supposed to run away.”

Keigo crossed his arms, leaning his weight onto one leg. “He’s not actually a service dog. I felt bad making an animal work all day. Rufus is just as nice as any ESA would be!” He didn’t need to know that either, dumbass.

“You named him Rufus?”

“No, that was his name at the shelter. Why would I rename him just because I adopted him?”

“Do you project onto every animal you meet?” Okay, ouch. That was rude.

“Can you fuck off? It’s nice to see you’re doing so great after the war and… everything, but I would rather not sit and chat.”

Touya tilted his head in amusement, as if Keigo’s brain wasn’t sputtering stupidly at the entire situation. “I didn’t ask you to, bird brain. See you -and Rufus- around.” Like they were simply previous classmates and not old enemies, he walked away with the wave of his hands. Rufus’ tail stopped wagging the further away he got, Keigo’s heart didn’t calm down once on the whole walk home.

Chapter Text

I left space for you in my heart, but I lost the key so please wait for me.

Keigo had been quite adamantly avoiding any mention of the Todoroki family in the news. During a past meeting with his therapist, he had mentioned in passing his opinions of the Enji Todoroki custody case that had been happening at the time. (Okay, maybe he hadn’t avoided all the news, just most of it.) Yeah, Enji was bad to Touya, that much was clear, but he changed. Little Shoto himself had said that his father hadn’t given him his scar. Keigo had worked with Enji for years, seen how he helped civilians. Maybe he was rough around the edges and a bit aggressive at times, but he wasn’t number one for nothing.

How could Japan’s no 1 be a bad father?

God, he was naive. His therapist had said as much in kinder words. “Your relationship with Endeavor was strictly that of co-workers. You know from experience that heroes can form personas. You don’t know what he could have been like at home.”

Keigo had stopped then. She was right, but he had thought of that. He had been there when the family had forgiven Enji. He had looked truly apologetic. Keigo said as much and she had only tapped her pen against her notepad with the shake of her head.

“What gives you the right to decide if he should be forgiven?” It was blunt, it stung, but it was what he needed to hear.

The conversation had slowly unraveled around Keigo as the session continued and his therapist had used the word ‘projecting’ on multiple occasions. He left with it echoing inside his head the whole way home, guilt making his feet drag on the pavement. He hadn’t looked into the Todoroki family since.

After running into Touya, Keigo spent the rest of the evening looking into all the news stories that he had been ignoring for months. Enji Todoroki, the man Keigo had looked up to for his whole childhood and considered a true hero for most of his adulthood, was no better than his own father had been. Getting away with his actions, not because the public didn’t see the signs, but because they chose to ignore them. Keigo had been one of those people as well.

The Touya Todoroki trial Keigo had chosen not to speak on had ended with a lighter sentence than most of the public expected. Less than Keigo had expected as well. Touya had originally been sentenced to a hefty stay in federal prison, but with the help of an insanity plea and a few good witness statements from his family, he had gotten off on far less. No prison time at all actually. He had been placed in the beta test group from a villain reformation program alongside multiple of his allies from the PLF. There, he had undergone mandatory psychiatry, physical therapy for his scars, and been given a pair of quirk inhibitors to stop him from using his fire at all in public. The program originally required monitored residency for everyone involved, but he had been granted more freedom in the recent months on good behavior. The articles ended simply with a quick reassurance for civilians that he was no longer a threat but that was the extent of their knowledge.

Keigo would have liked to know more, and he was sure he could pull strings to find records if he so desired, but he didn’t do that. No matter how tempted he was to know more.

Touya was a sensitive topic.

It had been a long time since the raid. Nearing a year of therapy visits, Keigo would have thought any resurgence of emotions had passed for good. Seeing Touya in person had only reminded Keigo that while his previous life was in the past, it wasn’t gone. There were remnants he had left behind that could still work their way back into his life. Clearly, he hadn’t even been trying and Touya had shown back up again.

Of course, it was probably just a one-time thing. He’d find a different park to take Rufus to if he had to. Maybe Touya didn’t frequent that park, after all it was the first time he had seen him there. Keigo was probably stressing over nothing, but even as he told himself that, an uneasy feeling settled in his stomach. He beckoned Rufus onto the couch and the dog settled into the cushion at his hip. Keigo dug his fingers into his golden fur like an anchor, vaguely aware of Rufus leaning into the sensation.

As quickly as the feeling settled with Rufus’ presence, his thoughts continued to sink deeper. What if he lived nearby? Keigo shook his head. The odds of that were so slim; but so were the odds of running into one of the exact people he had been avoiding. Do you think he still hates you? Of course he would, you were everything he despised about society. Keigo thought to late night assignments early in his career, assignments that not even the most skilled tabloids had heard wind of. How could they when no one was alive to tell the tale?

He thought to the guilt that had weighed on his shoulders for the months leading up to the raid. Nothing was black and white, morality existed according to the loudest voice. He had known this, lived it, played into it. Not even villains were entirely bad, sometimes they were better than heroes. He hadn’t felt like much of a hero in that last year on the job.

With twice the intensity as before, Keigo’s stomach churned, and his chest ached. He gnawed on his bottom lip and took a breath out to try and alleviate the feeling. Nothing. Rufus stood and kneaded a circle into his seat before moving to Keigo’s lap. He huffed and nosed his muzzle against Keigo’s chin. He dragged him into an embrace and buried his face in his fur.

It’s fine. You’re fine. You’re making something of nothing… No, not nothing, but nothing you should be upset over. It doesn’t matter if Touya hates you. He’s an ex-villain, your enemy, he’s allowed to hate you. Stop panicking.

Keigo couldn’t figure out which thought had triggered the visceral reaction from his body, but he couldn’t swallow it down anymore. His stomach flopped as the arguments pounded against his skull and the chill beneath his skin rose towards his throat.

“Down boy,” he bit out and patted Rufus hurriedly, b-lining it for the bathroom. Maybe if he hadn’t been feeling too out of it to eat lunch earlier, there would have been something to throw up, but instead Keigo heaved stomach acid into the toilet basin until his nerves stopped buzzing in his fingertips. He sat shivering through the chills on the bathroom floor as the blood rushing in his ears grew quieter and quieter. When the room fell silent and his calming breathing was the only sound, he realized Rufus was barking at something from the other room. Then the doorbell rang again. A visitor? Of all times . Flushing the evidence and rinsing his mouth out, Keigo paused to look at himself in the mirror then dragged his feet back across the house to open the front door where Rufus was stationed.

Keigo would have expected just about anyone but Todoroki Touya himself to be occupying his welcome mat. The man blinked like he was surprised Keigo had answered his own door before looking him over. Whatever he chose not to acknowledge in Keigo’s appearance showed in the uncomfortable way he licked his lips. Keigo gave himself a once over, it’s not like he’s gotten any bile on his clothes, was his loungewear strange? Touya sighed and held out a takeout bag from the place they used to frequent after their double agent rendezvous. Even with the acidic burn still eating at his throat, Keigo’s stomach growled at the sight.

“What’s this?”

“A peace offering.”

“For what?” Maybe he was allowing too much venom to seep into his words, but he was tired and his most complicated relationship had just decided to interrupt the panic attack that technically he had caused.

“Being a dick yesterday? The past? I dunno, I’m new to this whole thing. Yumi and my therapist said I should make peace with you. Whatever that means,” Touya grumbled and a part of Keigo almost missed the way his staples used to catch the light when he’d make that face in the past.

“They didn’t think to ask how I felt about this?”

“No. It’s stupid, I agree. But Rufus is gonna get out again if you leave your door open any longer and I can hear your stomach from here. Do you want the chicken or not?”

Begrudgingly, Keigo opened the door wider to let Touya in. “I hate you,” he huffed when the man passed.

Touya snorted and kicked off his shoes, actually taking the time to set them neatly to the side before stepping into the house. Clearly his family had succeeded in domesticating the villain of the past to some degree.

“Kitchen’s on the left, table’s there too.”

Following at their heals, Rufus nudged the takeout bag in Touya’s hand and settled next to his chair when the two sat down across from each other. Keigo eyed the box of chicken and took a bite, trying to notice any difference in flavor. When he found none, he tossed Rufus the rest of the piece. The retriever caught it and not a crumb touched the ground as he chowed down.

“Did you just check if I poisoned your food before you gave it to the dog?”

“What? I don’t know how reformed you really are. This could all be an act so you could get revenge.”

Touya reached over a snatched one for himself, tearing off a piece for Rufus between every bite he took. The dog as more than happy to catch each bite thrown. “Where would I get poison with the government breathing down my neck every day? I’m more concerned by your blatant disregard for your own safety.”

Keigo laughed, “That’s nothing new.”

The conversation stuttered and the air in the room quickly fell into something more serious. Keigo cleared his throat awkwardly and took another bite. “So… you wanna use me for brownie points with your therapist?”

“What? Your therapist doesn’t give you homework?”

Keigo neglected to inform him that he hadn’t seen his therapist in a month and had four unread emails to prove it. His silence created a new layer to the tension and Touya tapped his leg so rapidly that the table rattled. Keigo took the change to pull two bottled waters from the fridge. Taking the chance to snoop, Touya noticed the fridge was considerably better stocked than it had ever been when the man was still a hero. He supposed that was a good sign.

Taking a drink from the bottle Keigo had handed him, he started again. “Let’s just get this over with then. I was an asshole.”

Keigo propped his head on his fist, risking a smirk. “You might have to be more specific.”

Touya glared but bit back his retort. “I was an asshole when I tried to kill you.”

“Well, I can’t blame you for that. You weren’t far off back then when you said the heroes were at fault. But…” Keigo glared at a water stain on the table, appetite lost once more. “If you were trying to kill me, you would have, so why didn’t you?”

The other end of the table was quiet and when Keigo looked up to be sure Touya had heard, the latter seemed conflicted. His gaze jumped to the window with a grimace that pulled at his healing scars.

“A moment of weakness?”

“Are you asking me?”

“I didn’t have enough firepower left.”

“Bullshit. You almost fried my intern.”

“Fine.” Touya turned his head to Keigo so quickly he flinched. “You weren’t the only one tripped up on emotions. I wanted you on our side and I didn’t kill you because I thought maybe we had enough in common for you to eventually realize we had the right idea. But they were too far in your head. You jumped right back into the fight before you were even healed. Now you’ve got nothing.”

“You can’t tell me you knew my wings would grow back. You wanted them gone for good.”

Touya worried his bottom lip and tapped painted nails against the table. The shiny black lacquer caught Keigo’s attention but didn’t draw away from the phantom aches crawling up his spine. “It’s complicated.”

“Try me. Just because you came to apologize doesn’t mean I’ll accept it and you can go.”

With a huff, Touya spoke carefully, “You know I was fucked in the head. Still kinda am. My thought process was that you couldn’t be Hawks without your wings. You’d be forced to be Keigo again and you’d have to look at things from a different angle. Our angle.”

As much as Keigo despised that thought process. As much as he hated that the commander of a force that preached equality for the betterment of heteromorphs had burned away his wings like they were a flaw. He understood. As long as Keigo was Hawks, he would never look past what the Hero Commission had taught him; and Keigo couldn’t be Hawks without his wings.

“I hate you,” he found himself whispering for the second time since Touya had entered his home.

The ex-villain only nodded, accepting his vitriol like a well-deserved sentence. Keigo’s fingers flexed painfully tight around the material of his pants and Rufus whined against his thigh. It had been a long time since he and Dabi had played their game of cat and mouse, he was in no mood to start again, but it felt wrong that Touya was sitting there not fighting back. Not even a hint of annoyance in his tone.

The silence continued to grow between them, closing around Keigo’s throat and making his scars itch. He ran a hand over his face, dropping his head onto the table. The dull thud echoed in his ears as he rubbed at Rufus’ ears under the table. The silly dog began to wag his tail, smacking it against the table leg in a rhythmic thump.

“Should I leave?” Touya finally asked but he didn’t sound sure of himself. Keigo felt the same.

I haven’t apologized yet. I have so much to say, but I don’t know where to begin. If I say something wrong, I’ll only upset him. I don’t want him to be mad. Does it matter? You already thought you’d never see him again and he would always hate you. Why does it matter if he hates you now? Keigo couldn’t shake the heavy feeling in his chest at the thought that Touya had come all the way here to apologize for something he had done in response to Keigo’s own crimes; and Keigo couldn’t even find the words to apologize for murder . He shook his head and cringed as he felt his hair fall away in awkward angles, it would definitely look like a mess when he sat up again.

“Keigo?”

“What? Oh, sorry.” He peaked up at the man across from him. “I need to apologize too… but I don’t think it will be enough,” he admitted.

Touya paused in thought before tapping his fingers on the table and looked back out the window. Keigo watched him. Watched the mid-afternoon sun catch on his piercings and light them up like bits of fallen stars. His eyes shined like pools of cerulean in the light. Even after everything, after the pieces of Keigo that Touya had shattered and the scars he’d branded into him, Touya was still attractive.

Touya looked back at him and Keigo looked away, letting go of Rufus under the table and pushing himself upright. He fussed with his hair to give Touya more time to speak.

“I wasn’t here for your apology, only mine. Take your time.” It was considerate and out of character. It felt like a knife to Keigo’s heart. He looked at Touya properly, searching for a hint of disappointment or annoyance, anything to show that his words were not what he meant. How could he be so patient?

“You can’t mean that. You came all the way here and-”

“I came unannounced and I live nearby.”

That gave Keigo pause. “You do?”

Touya nodded. “My apartment is only a block or two away.”

“How did you know I lived here?”

The other side of the table fell silent but the embarrassment was obvious. Clearly against Touya’s will, his healing scars made his blush much more obvious. He rubbed at his face as casually as he could in an attempt to hide it, but Keigo could see it clearly. “I asked around,” he eventually confessed.

“Who…”

“Shoto’s teacher. Told me he’d have me incarcerated if I tried anything.”

Aizawa? Keigo would have expected the man to practice more privacy. Maybe he would message the teacher later. To complain or to thank him, he hadn’t decided yet.

“Sounds like him.” The two nodded and the conversation melted into silence.

“I should probably go. Let’s catch up later, when you’re ready.” Touya pushed his chair away from the table and made for the door. Keigo followed after him, nearly tripping over Rufus in the process. He almost missed the pink on Touya’s ears that peeked through the spaces of his piercings.

He hovered a couple feet away while Touya shoved his feet into his double-knotted shoes. The backs collapsed under his heels. Rufus nudged Touya’s thigh for a goodbye as he reached for the door and Touya dropped back to his level. He roughly scratched at Rufus’ mane and dissolved into a fit of whispered baby-talk. Even villains have soft spots for animals it seems.

“It was nice talking to you again, Kei. Keep in touch.” He cut Keigo off before he could even open his mouth. “My number’s on the take-out box.”

He slipped out the door and into the hall and Keigo had to stop Rufus from following. He seemed to already be quite fond of the ex-felon. Too bad Keigo was still on the fence about him. He returned to the table in a daze and sure enough, written in Touya’s well-trained penmanship, was a phone number.

He punched the number into a new contact on his phone, choosing not to linger on where an unnamed contact sat right beneath it. It hadn’t been used in over a year, but Keigo had never had the heart to delete it, stuck somewhere between longing and guilt. Even now, with a new number for the same man, Keigo closed the phone without deleting the contact.

Sitting back down at the table, Keigo let out a sigh that deflated his entire frame, leaning into the back of his seat until it creaked. What a headache. Emotions were so much work.

Chapter Text

You were my light in the dark, but I always knew we weren't meant for perfection.

The next chance they had to meet came a week later. Keigo reached out first this time. With a carefully planned out text that he mulled over for nearly the entire morning and afternoon. Even after all of that, he still wondered if he had been too upfront and casual.

[Dinner? I’ll pay.]

He had set his phone down after hitting send, honestly not expecting an answer until the next day. It had been normal for Touya to blow him off in the past. Instead, as soon as he stood from his bed, the phone buzzed and he dove for it. It bounced across the mattress and off the bed, landing beside Rufus’ nose where he had been dozing on the carpet. He yelped and gave Keigo a less than amused look before moving himself to the other side of the room. Keigo ignored his dog’s judgement and picked the phone up, seeing the notification had in fact been from Touya.

[I’m free. Where and when?]

[Six. I’ll pick you up.] Keigo answered as he stripped his lounge wear to find something presentable. Rummaging around in his closet he was met with a problem. Most of his formal attire still had open backs.

He didn’t get out often anymore.

With one leg in a pair of dark jeans from an old sponsorship, he picked up his phone at the first ding.

[You can drive?]

Do I have a choice? He almost typed and thought better of it. [Yeah. Business casual.]

Instantly. [This feels like event planning. Gross.]

Keigo snorted and shoved his arms into the sleeves of the button down from his funeral suit. Looking in the mirror, he looked like a waiter. There had to be another option.

Another glance through the closet later… there was not another option. Shit . He glanced at his phone.

[Is that you cancelling?]

[No.] The text was followed by a link.

[What’s this?]

[My address, dumbass. See you in an hour.]

An hour? Shitty fuck. To be a waiter or not to be a waiter. That was the concerningly pressing question. Keigo gave himself another once over and caught Rufus’ eye in the reflection, he looked unamused.

“You’re right. I’ll buy a new one on the way.”

Pulling up the nearest clothing store, Keigo made for the door. Rufus followed him at a lazy pace, waiting for his obligatory cuddles goodbye. After shoving his feet into the cleanest pair of sneakers he could find, Keigo ruffled Rufus’ fur and slipped on a black cap before running down the hall.

Keigo missed jumping out the window. The elevator took a good four minutes to reach him and another six to get to the parking garage. At his slowest pace he could have been halfway across Tokyo in that time. No. He needed to stop thinking about that. He wasn’t getting his wings back. He was a civilian now, he needed to let it go.

The car revved to life and he pulled into the street, GPS app chirping directions as he went. That was something he hadn’t anticipated when losing his wings. He knew the whole of this side of Japan like the back of his hand… from above. When it came to navigating from the ground, he was about as useful as a matchstick in the wind.

Less than twenty minutes later Keigo was walking through the door of the clothing store and b-lining it for the men’s section near the back. An employee approached him and he wished he had remembered his face mask. Her polite smile dissolved into a starry eyed expression when she caught his features.

“You’re Hawks!” A couple customers tried to be casual in their rubbernecking but Keigo didn’t need feathers to feel their attention. He pulled his hat lower on his brow and hunched to the height of the aisle racks.

He put a finger to his lip and her smile dropped. “I’m sorry, I’m in a hurry.” His fan-favorite smile was a bit rusty but she fell for it anyway, speaking more softly the second time around.

“How can I help you? Is it for a date?” She held her breath in anticipation and Keigo hoped the heat in his face was just from the stuffy air in the store. Her muffled gasp said she clearly didn’t think so.

“Not quite. Just dinner.”

“Would you like help deciding?”

Keigo wasn’t really up for pandering to any parasocial fantasies, even as she looked so heartbroken when he told her no and watched her go, like a kicked puppy.

He glanced at the time on his phone and felt the need to rush growing. Looking at the rows and rows of shirts in front of him he wondered where to draw the line. That employee had asked if it was a date and Keigo might melt of embarrassment if that’s the way he came off to Touya. No way. He absolutely could not let that happen.

A white button down caught his eye. By itself it wouldn’t be much better than the black one he already had on, but with the addition of the jacket on sale next to it he could get away with a less formal look. At least he was pretty sure that it was business casual. It’s not like the jacket was a blazer. It was leather. It seemed safe. He tugged the pieces off of the rack and made for the check out. A different employee helped him pay, trying not to make eye contact. Honestly, he appreciated it.

“Would you like a bag?”

“No. Thanks. Bye.” He turned for the door and she panicked.

“Sir! Your card!” She leaned over the counter and he plucked the plastic from her fingers before running out the door, fingers on the button of his collar as he went.

It was a bit awkward changing shirts as he walked to his car but Keigo had never been one to slow down and the closer the time crawled to their meeting, the louder his heart pounded. This was their third meeting but this time he had planned it and he was going to apologize. By the time he sat down in his car, he was in his new shirt and jacket.

Plugging Touya’s address into his GPS, he was there at exactly six. He wanted to be early. Damn, stupid traffic laws. The apartment in front of him looked nice; well kept in a safe part of town. Of course it was safe, that was why Keigo moved there . Keigo fixed his hair in the reflection of his car window and jumped when a hand clamped around his shoulder.

“Hey,” Touya smirked at his reaction and let go to shove his hands in his pockets. He was much better at casual. He looked like he hadn’t stressed over his clothes at all. A solid color shirt and dark jeans. Keigo should have thought of that. “Nervous, birdie?” He tilted his head and his hair fell across his brow, casually attractive.

“What? No. Why?” A genius, that’s what he was. A fucking genius.

“You’re tense.” Touya’s eyes trained on Keigo’s neck and he reached between them again. Keigo ducked away and Touya pulled him back by his sleeve. “Hold still. You’ve still got the tags on.”

He froze. Touya was closer than should be socially acceptable. Keigo could smell his cologne and something sweet, maybe his shampoo. He tried not to think about it too hard. Touya’s hands kept brushing against his neck and collarbone while he tugged the tags free. That was even harder to ignore. Keigo’s face was hot again and this time he couldn’t blame the air circulation, they were outside. He couldn’t figure out if Touya was taking forever to step away or if time had just seemed to slow down because Keigo’s thoughts were moving so fast.

When Touya did give him space, he wouldn’t look Keigo directly in the eyes, fiddling with the tags in his hands and clearing his throat. What a great start to the night. Keigo spun around and opened the car door, gesturing inside. “Well, ready to go?”

Touya ducked into the seat and waited for him to walk around the car and start the engine before speaking. “Where are we going?”

“Are noodles fine?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Yeah. What a great start.

Luckily, the place Keigo chose wasn’t busy. It rarely ever was, that’s why he had always liked it as a hero. Now, the extra privacy was a perk. Most customers ordered to-go, leaving them one of two occupied tables. It was two bites in when the silence finally became too much and Keigo cleared his throat.

“Do you still smoke?” It had been bothering Keigo since Touya took the tags off his clothes.

“Rarely. They took my cigarettes during my dorm stay. Haven’t even finished the pack I bought when I moved out.” He slurped down another mouthful of noodles. “Why?”

“You smelled like cologne earlier instead.”

Touya paused to ponder the comment before nodding and setting down his chopsticks to prop his chin on his fist. “Do you like the change? You always complained that the smell caught in your wings.”

I miss it. “Well I wasn’t lying.”

“I know I just liked pushing buttons. I made sure to smoke whenever we met.” He grinned and Keigo had half the mind to kick him under the table.

He pouted into his soup and Touya nudged his foot. “What?”

The ex-villain shook his head, smile still present on his lips, albeit gentler. “Kinda funny that we’re here don’t you think?” He gestured between them. “We were trying to kill each other a year ago. A lot changed.”

“Yeah.” Keigo remembered why he had invited Touya to dinner in the first place and his heart sank. It wasn’t perfect, but now was a good place to start. “About that…”

“Yeah. I guess that’s why we’re here isn’t it?”

The conversation stuttered for a moment and Keigo set down his chopsticks. “Not that it matters, but you lied when you said you didn’t care about the League, didn’t you?”

Touya sighed but nodded.

“I’m sorry, I took your friend away. I thought that the PLF couldn’t succeed without Jin’s quirk, but you had his blood and you had Toga. Killing him didn’t make a difference for our success. Nothing changed. As a hero I should have known killing wasn’t a solution. I should have tried harder to understand him, and you, and the League. Maybe I would have been more critical of my own upbringing and realized I wasn’t the only hero with flaws.”

Keigo fiddled with the collar of his jacket nervously. He watched Touya’s brow furrow and stick there, like he couldn't decide how to react. Keigo had been thinking about that apology for days; he would have thought it would at least ease some of the tension.

“I knew you didn’t want to kill him. Hawks may have been everything wrong with hero society-” Keigo cringed. “-but Keigo is a pretty damn good person. He doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. Knowing you, you probably thought through every possible end to that fight to try and save Twice.”

Keigo really was a shit spy if Touya knew him this well. He gave a curt nod.

“And you were acting on orders. Like when you infiltrated the League and with all those covert operations the public doesn’t know about. You did as you were told.”

“They wouldn’t have kept me around if I wasn’t good at following orders.”

Touya huffed. “What I’m trying to say is I understand why you did it. They told you it was the only way to save people and even after knowing that you still tried saving him first. He didn’t want your help, that doesn’t make it his fault and it doesn’t make it yours.”

Keigo’s breath caught in his throat. He bit his lip to keep it from quivering when he let out a shaky exhale. He couldn’t believe him. How could Touya say that? He was there, he watched Keigo land the final blow on someone who never attacked first. Jin had only wanted to protect his friends, his family. How could this not be his fault? It was definitely his fault! Who else could be to blame?

A cold hold caught his hand on the table and he jumped from his thoughts. Touya was watching his expression carefully.

“You regret it don’t you?”

Keigo leaned forward, hand still trapped under Touya’s. “Of course I do! He was my friend! I never wanted to kill anyone, I swear. All I ever wanted was to help people.” He could feel himself growing emotional and he fixed his posture, sniffling the heat behind his eyes away, but as soon as he collected himself, Touya was dragging him from his seat by the hand he had never let go of.

“I have somewhere to take you.”

“Now?” Keigo nearly tripped over the table in his efforts to not lose his arm with how quickly Touya seemed to move. They paid in a flurry and instead of heading for the parked car, Touya headed down the street. “Where are we going?”

“To visit Jin.”

“What?”

“His grave. Have you ever gone to pay your respects?” Touya pushed through the door of a flower shop. Keigo was surprised it was even open. By the look the man tending to the bouquets gave them, he was surprised to have customers that late as well. Maybe they were closing soon.

Touya spoke quickly with the employee and kept a hold on Keigo, pointing to various flowers with his free hand. It was like he thought Keigo would run away if given the chance. Their hands were very warm now, pressed so tight together. Keigo fiddled with his cap when his ears started to feel warm. When did the employee think the flowers were for? Did he recognize Keigo?

Still holding tight, Touya paid for a bouquet full of red and white and led Keigo back out the door.

“Isn’t it too late to visit a cemetery? I don’t want you getting in trouble. Shit, you don’t have a curfew do you?” Keigo glanced down at the cuffs around Touya’s wrists. He knew they had to have a GPS inside somewhere. What would Touya’s officers think if they found him with the same hero he’d mauled and exposed on live tv?

“It will be fine. The cemetery doesn’t close. I’ll drive.” He finally let go of Keigo when they reached the car and held out his hand. Keigo pressed his car keys into his palm and took the flowers thrust at him. This was all incredibly discombobulating for him emotionally. He had been on the verge of tears less than ten minutes ago.

The drive to the cemetery was quick. Apparently Twice had been buried nearby. As promised, there was no gate to the entrance and no security guard shooing them away for visiting so far into the evening. Keigo followed Touya, fingers holding the flowers as lightly as possible so the paper wouldn’t crease, as they walked through rows of tombstones. It was hard to see properly but Touya seemed to have no issue navigating.

Then, a name Keigo knew. It was a humble grave marker. No more or less elaborate than those around it with an old bouquet almost identical to the one Keigo was holding already propped against its base. So Touya visited often. Jin’s name was written in neat characters and the epitaph said simply, ‘A loyal friend.’

With the utmost care, Touya took the flowers from Keigo and set them in the old flowers’ place. He ran his fingers over the lettering and across the top to clear it of any dust that may have settled in what couldn’t be more than a few days since his last visit.

“You visit often?” Keigo whispered, eyes staying on the flowers even when Touya moved to stand at his side.

“Once a week. I paid for his grave.” He fumbled with the wilted flowers in his hold and a few petals drifted to the grass around their feet. “He had no family outside of the League and most of us were incarcerated after the war. Toga doesn’t have that kind of money, and she isn’t allowed off the campus of her rehabilitation program on her own. She’s too young.”

“Oh.” Was all Keigo could think to say. Then, after a pause. “What did you do with his body before then?”

“I cremated him. Kept him somewhere safe until I could give him a proper send off.”

Keigo looked at his feet. A petal had landed on his shoe. He suddenly felt like his presence was sullying the space. He shook off the spot of red. “I’m sorry.”

Touya nodded. “I know.”

There was a number in Keigo’s brain, one he tried to avoid remembering but that had seared itself into the inside of his thoughts so he could never forget it:

The number of people he had killed.

As a hero, he had a near perfect rescue count. The number of civilian and villain fatalities under his name were in the single digits. But as an assassin, his count was in the doubles. He had a good memory, he could still give all of their names if asked. Maybe one of them had been laid to rest in that very cemetery as well. The thought made his shoulders sink and his spine feel like an invisible string was dragging him into hell. There were gravestones out there, more than he was willing to admit, that wouldn’t exist if he hadn’t become a hero. They were bad people, the President had told him. Bad people were supposed to go to jail, not six feet under. He’d felt all of their blood soak into his feathers, spent hours cleaning it from his wings, he could still remember how the sensation had felt against his ultra sensitive feathers.

Keigo shivered and hugged his arms to himself. All those holes he had torn into people’s lives and not once had he allowed himself to stop and think about it. Not until he tore a hole in his own life as a result. Twice had been a friend, maybe not a close one (Keigo didn't have any of those anyway), but a friend. He had been a villain in occupation but never truly in nature. His death affected Keigo where the other deaths had not. Retrospectively, the thought terrified him; he had been able to kill without question for the Commission. If he hadn’t gotten close to the League, the same would still ring true.

“I don’t think he would want me here,” Keigo spoke and found that the words were hard to give sound too. They cut at his lungs.

“No. He’d probably curse you to hell and back, but I want you here and since I paid for the grave, I’m giving you a pass.”

Keigo let out a wheeze of a laugh and inhaled sharply. The night air was getting cold and served as exactly the refresh his thoughts needed. I looked up at the night sky, stars muddled by light pollution and the moon obscured by clouds. His skin soaked in the chill as his tears caught the evening breeze. At least if Touya didn’t look closely, there would be no moonlight to reflect his tears.

“Twice wasn’t the only one I killed,” he whispered and rubbed his face, refusing to look at Touya.

“I know. My hands aren’t clean either.”

“It was never your job to protect people.”

“You’re right. You’ve killed more people than I have.”

Keigo couldn’t help the wet chuckle that escaped his throat. He looked back down at the petals littering the ground right as the moon peeked from behind the clouds. The light made the grave glow and the wilted red petals looked even more like spots of blood against the grass. He shook his head and rubbed at his eyes before his tears could fall and dirty Jin’s grave.

“All things considered, you’ve been very forgiving. It’s like you’re a whole different person.” He gathered himself again and straightened properly.

Touya was quiet for a moment and Keigo wondered if his comment had reminded Touya that he was supposed to be upset. Was he going to yell now? Instead, the ex-villain sighed.

“The League wasn’t the only thing I lied about,” he mumbled. Keigo glanced over at him, confused. “I lied when I said I never believed you… and when I said your life meant nothing to me.” Touya looked up at him, eyes itched to jump away but never actually leaving him. He looked so serious.

“What do you mean?” His voice was quieter than he meant for it to be.

“We were friends… or something. It was just easier to treat you like an enemy when I told you that. Now, that whole sentiment is useless and I’ve gotten tired of letting revenge be my only waking thought.”

Keigo’s tongue tingled with the need to respond but he couldn’t articulate the right words. His chest was hot, his shoulders felt lighter, like that string on his spine had snapped suddenly. He tried not to smile in front of Jin’s grave, but his emotions got the better of him. He ignored the warmth behind his eyes and held a hand out to Touya.

“Would you like to start over?” It seemed to be the right choice because Touya smiled carefully and shifted the old bouquet to one hand and shook Keigo’s hand. “I’m Keigo, just Keigo.”

“Touya, just Touya. You’re crying.”

Keigo rolled his eyes and sniffled, “Yeah, I was just visiting an old friend.”

Touya raised an amused brow. “Oh? Were you close?”

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

At that, Touya grinned in the way only he could and his teeth flashed. Normally, it would be threatening but Keigo couldn’t bring himself to find it anything but endearing. Touya’s white hair caught the moonlight like he was a slice of the moon itself and at the prospect of future meeting with the shining man in front of him, Keigo’s heart leapt. He let go of Touya and the two gave the grave before them one last look before turning in the other direction.

Chapter Text

Had I known you before, you'd be my most precious memory.

Touya’s visits were becoming a frequent occurrence. Nearing daily. Keigo had yet to see the inside of Touya’s apartment, but he didn’t press. He navigated their tentative friendship entirely at Touya’s pace, avoiding anything that could lead to conflict.

Of course, there wasn’t much in his house to be conflicted about. There were no decorations outside of a few framed photos of the skyline that Keigo had taken from his old apartment. The Commission never asked for them back and he liked looking at them when the lighting outside his windows matched the lighting in the pictures. He could almost draw himself into the experience of flying again.

Rufus even had a corner of the living room littered with bones and toys that both Keigo and Tokoyami had bought on different occasions. A bright red tug-of-war rope, some stuffed animals that crackled with Rufus gnawed on them, and Rufus’ favorite; a worn-out sweatshirt that Keigo had dropped one day and Rufus laid claims to. He had dragged it across the floor and settled into the dog bed with it under his head. Keigo never tried to get it back, clearly Rufus appreciated it more than he did.

Otherwise, his apartment was pretty bare and somehow that too had become a topic of interest during one of Touya’s visits. He had draped himself across the chair in the corner, legs hung over the armrest, and gazed around the room for so long Keigo assumed he had zoned out. He left the man alone and it wasn’t until Keigo handed him a cup of tea that he snapped from his thoughts and spoke.

“What do you do in the time between my visits?” He sipped his drink carefully and Keigo noted his feet swinging slightly in approval when the taste hit his tongue.

Giving Touya a chance to elaborate, Keigo walked back across the room to the couch and crossed his legs underneath himself. His own tea was just too hot for his tastes and when the heat touched his lips he flinched and set the mug on the coffee table to cool. Frankly, he hated the sensation; it made him feel ill. He knew why, it wasn’t hard to guess, but he’d ignore the feelings while with his present company.

Touya shifted positions to look over at him, now with one leg perched on the edge of the cushion and the other bouncing against the floor. “You used to have books in your old apartment. They weren’t good books, but at least they were something.” He took a large gulp. It had to burn with how thick the steam was billowing past his nose. Then again, Touya was probably used to it.

“You read those?” Keigo reached for his tea again but leaned away when he felt the heat through the mug. Maybe he’d just let it get cold instead.

“You didn’t?”

“No. They were just decorations for in-house interviews.”

“Okay, then what did you do in your spare time?”

Keigo’s eyes travelled to the picture on the wall behind Touya’s head. “I didn’t have spare time. If I wasn’t on patrol, I was doing PR work or catching up on reports, and if I wasn’t doing any of those things, I slept.”

He tapped his fingers on his knees and looked back to Touya. His leg had stopped shaking. He was sitting properly too.

“That’s… actually, no. It doesn’t surprise me.” He finished the rest of his tea in one go and stood. “Rufus!” The sound of excited nails on hardwood floors came skittering from the bedroom.

“What are you doing?”

Touya smiled, “We’re going to find you a hobby. Come on.” He pulled Keigo to his feet and beckoned Rufus to where his leash hung by the door.

“How are we going to do that?” Keigo looked down at himself. Joggers and a ‘RETIRED’ shirt one of the U-A students had gifted him as part of his housewarming gift. Could be worse, he supposed, but it definitely could be better.

“Shopping.” Touya was already halfway out the door with Keigo’s car keys. That was another thing Keigo had learned in their more recent meetings. Touya didn’t have a car, he took public transport to visit Keigo every week.

“I thought stores didn’t allow dogs.”

“Where I have in mind, we’ll be fine. If they bitch and moan, you can just pull rank.”

“You know I hate doing that.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one part of hero society I wouldn’t mind taking advantage of and you’re above it. Just my luck. Whatever, hurry your ass up before Rufus gets impatient.”

Keigo ran out the door after him.

Touya took them to an outdoor shopping outlet. Stores of various sizes lined the stone path and in the middle-temperature weather of the season, many couples had taken to an afternoon out. The path was busy with foot traffic. Rufus was having the time of his life following scents and greeting other dogs. Keigo was just glad they had both remembered their hats and masks respectively.

The first place Touya took him was a bookstore, and clearly one he frequented with how he expertly navigated from section to section. Ideology, foreign classics, poetry, and law. Those seemed to be his favorites.

He had been a bit offended when Keigo admitted he didn’t like reading much, but quickly regained himself to start using Keigo’s empty arms as his shopping basket.

“Are these all for you?” Keigo finally asked, forearms starting to ache with the effort of keeping the stack from toppling. It was nearing his shoulders now.

“Some of them. I haven’t read this part of the series yet.” –He pointed to a thick book with the number 10 inscribed on the spine under the title. Keigo didn’t know book series could be that long.– “And this one is for some research I’m working on.” – The spine read Childhood Psychology. Oh. – “But the rest are for you. Maybe you’ll find something you like.”

“But I said-”

“Yeah, I heard ya, but these are good starting points. Try at least one and if you hate it, I won’t make you read the rest.” He picked up the top book and ran a hand over the cover, flipping it to skin the write-up. Keigo caught the twitch of a smile. “This one is my favorite. You might not even like it, but I did.”

The books were expensive, and of course paid for with Keigo’s money. Touya didn’t bat an eye.

Further down the street they nearly passed a toy store. If it hadn’t been for the child who asked to pet Rufus, they would have. While waited for the boy to finish patting Rufus’ golden head, Keigo eyed the window display.

A toy plane flew loops around the ceiling light on a little wire that shook with the weight. Beneath it a miniature city built of shiny plastic was lit up with flickering LEDs. Oddly shaped figurines stood on the carpet roads the buildings were placed along and one of the children inside the store was running a small car along the empty road. It looks like one of the silly figurines had been modeled after him too. A pair of ugly plastic wings clung to the back of a figurine stuck to the top of scaled down news tower. He wrinkled his nose in distaste, he looked ugly as a toy.

Keigo jumped when a heavy arm caught around his shoulders and when he turned to look, Touya’s face was grinning a breath away. Touya used to do that to him all the time as Dabi too, but oddly never to anyone else. In the moments before Touya spoke, Keigo wondered why.

“See something you like?”

Keigo pointed to the houses. “Are those toys too?” Touya hummed a confirming noise. “How do you play with them? They’re buildings.”

“Come inside. I’ll show you.” He steered Keigo through the door of the toy store and Rufus stayed tight to their ankles. He seemed wary of all the loud children running around at his own height. The pair walked past displays of hero merchandise and stuffed animals to a table covered in piles of tiny plastic pieces and paper pamphlets. Touya pushed Keigo into an open chair, ignoring the judgmental look from a couple overseeing their daughter on the other end of the table.

Touya reached across the table and plucked a pamphlet from the stack, dropping it in Keigo’s hands. “Use those directions to turn these blocks into the picture on the front cover.”

“Building? That’s how you play?”

Touya nodded and scooted his own chair right up next to Keigo’s. He could feel the man’s thigh against his under the table. Rufus settled over their feet at well, hidden from curious little hands. “Come on. See step one? It wants you to connect the gray block to the black square just like the picture shows.”

Rummaging through the pile in front of him, Keigo did as told.

“Now add the pieces from step two.” He did. “Keep going. This one is easy; it makes a car.”

He leaned back and gestured for Keigo to continue so he did. It was a bit awkward at first with the stares Keigo continued to sense from passing parents. They were clearly adults in a children’s store, he almost expected to get kicked out. But the more and more the amalgamation of pieces in Keigo’s hands started to look like a car, the more excited he got, and he stopped focusing on his surroundings all together.

When the final piece was in place, he set it on the table and pushed. It rolled across the table, and he scooped it back up, ecstatic. “Look! It works!”

“Yeah. It’s really good, Kei.” The way Touya looked at him made something twist in Keigo’s chest. He set down the car and tapped his fingers as he searched for what to say while the feeling settled. He eyed the other direction books as a cold knuckle tapped his ear and pulled his attention back to Touya.

“Do you want to make another one?”

And now Keigo was blushing. It was a kid’s toy! Touya probably thought it was childish to do something like this. He read books, that was an adult hobby, not building!

“Or you could buy something bigger to build at home.”

“Isn’t it for kids?” Keigo tapped the back of the car he had been oh-so-proud of only seconds before and watched it roll right into a child’s hands. She gave him only a quick glance before running to her own side of the table again.

“Feathers, read the age on the direction book for me.” Touya spoke gently and Keigo would have considered it condescending if not for how genuine he looked.

“4-99?”

“And how old are you?”

“24.” His ears felt hot.

“Well, if my math is right, you’re still within the suggested age range, aren’t you?”

“Don’t be a di- rude.” Keigo side eyed the child within listening distance.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go find a set you like.” Touya patted Rufus’ shoulder and the dog jumped back to his feet from under the table, glad to be up and moving again.

They bought three sets, and that was only because Touya was very indulgent of this new interest of Keigo’s and completely ignorant of how self-conscious buying them made Keigo feel. He’d like a lot more than those three too, but he didn’t want to admit that. These toys were more expensive than books. He looked at the price of the toy car, it hadn’t been expensive, but he’d ended up buying three very large building kits with rather humbling price tags.

The first was of his old agency building. Keigo should have expected to find so much hero merch in a children’s store. Kids loved heroes. Maybe he was more surprised that he was finding his own hero merch. Touya laughed at him when he picked it up, joking that if he missed it, he could always visit the real thing, but he took the box from Keigo anyway before he could return it to the shelf. Neither of them paid mind to the discount sticker beside the price. The second and third kits were of generic buildings that Keigo had no recollection of existing in any part of Japan, he had just thought they reminded him of the buildings he liked the perch on during his patrols. Tall and unobstructed with a perfect view to the street.

When they left the store, Rufus was immediately more at ease with all the children no longer at eye level. Touya seemed satisfied with the purchases. He swung two of the bags at his side and smiled at Keigo before looked out at the pedestrians around him.

“Is there anywhere else you would like to go?” Keigo tried.

Touya shrugged. “Is there anything else you would like to see?”

“Why are you asking me? We are only here because you wanted to be.”

“And you found something to do with yourself beside sit around all day! You should be thanking me!”

“Whatever.” Keigo pouted and directed them towards where the car was parked. Seeming to understand their destination, Rufus took charge to lead the way. When they reached the car, Rufus hopped in the back and Touya tossed their bags behind the driver’s seat before pointing Keigo to the passenger seat again.

“I want to drive again.”

“If you like driving so much, go get your own car.” Keigo watched passing buildings out the window, wondering if any of them had toys designed after them as well.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Touya snorted. “Even if I did have a license, no dealer in their right mind would sell to an ex-villain.”

Keigo spun around so fast his neck twinged and he flinched. He looked to Touya’s hands on the steering wheel then to the smirk growing on Touya’s face. “Wait. You don’t have a license?”

“No.”

“What the fuck? Then why did I let you drive my car?”

“You never asked about my license. I can drive, I just can’t prove it.” Keigo cursed and tried to casually grip the door handle a little tighter, but Touya caught him anyway and laughed. “You didn’t have an issue with my driving before.”

“I think finding out I gave my car keys to an unlicensed villain is a valid reason for concern,” Keigo snapped.

“Yeah? Well, we’re already here so you can stop crying.” Sure enough, they had pulled into a parking spot under Keigo’s apartment with no issues, like always. Touya slipped out of the car without another word and ushered Rufus from the backseat. Keigo had to run to catch up once he had all his bags in his hands.

He took the elevator ride to his floor as a chance to catch his breath and readjust. Touya gave in and took one of the bags from him, corralling Rufus out of the way.

“You should be more careful about breaking the law, Touya. The consequences will be worse for you than for an average citizen.”

When they made it down the hall, Touya held open the apartment door with a smirk. “Is that a hint of concern I’m sensing?”

“Yes, actually. I know you don’t mean any harm by it, but we both know the law isn’t so forgiving. Just be careful. If you need a ride somewhere, you can always ask me. You know I’m never busy.” All the while Keigo had been speaking, Touya had been quiet from the doorstep. When he didn’t get an answer, Keigo finally looked up from his spot at the counter and tilted his head in concern.

“What’s wrong?”

Wiping the puzzled expression from his face, Touya averted his eyes to the opposite wall. Rufus nudged his leg, annoyed at not being let loose from his leash yet. He didn’t even look over as he slipped the clip free and Rufus ran for the couch.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Satisfied, Keigo nodded and looked to the clock. “Are you staying for dinner?”

“I have a mandatory session in an hour. I need to head home.”

“Should I drive you?” Keigo stepped forward and Touya waved a hand to stop him.

“It’s not far. I’ll text you later.” He opened the door and paused. “And Kei?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.” He threw an uncharacteristically warm smile over his shoulder and slipped out the door before Keigo even had the chance to wonder what he had said to set Touya off.

Chapter Text

I'll cut my heart out and hand it to you on a platter if it's the only way to prove it only beats for you.

Things had been looking up. Keigo had quickly become an avid fan of the building sets Touya helped him pick out. They never took him more than a night to build, and he’d already cleared a shelf to set up what was starting to look like a miniature city among his books. Every time Touya visited and saw a new set he would laugh but never make fun of the childish new hobby. In fact, he’d just ask Keigo why he picked the sets he did and listen respectfully as Keigo went into detail about which colors and designs caught his eye most.

For every building set Keigo got to fawn over Touya would keep him updated on whatever book he was reading at the time. Keigo liked books more when he didn’t have to sit still to hear the story. Touya was good at telling stories and he didn’t mind when Keigo didn’t keep eye contact or when he pulled out his most recent building set to work while Touya talked.

The book Touya had finished the last time they spoke was a picture book, but the lessons of the story were meant for adults. It had been about a prince from his own planet. It had sounded silly at first, especially coming from someone Keigo had once considered strictly business and always serious, but those feeling soon changed when he finished talking and Keigo realized he’d been entirely focused on the story by the end.

Soon enough, it had been a month since their first meeting after the war and Touya now had the extra key to Keigo’s apartment. With as frequent as their meet ups became, he figured it was only fair that the ex-villain be able to let himself in.

Of course, for every up there is a down and Keigo had been pretty low on downs for a while now. It was only a matter of time.

At first, he worried that a crazed fan had found his new address somehow. It had happened a couple of times in the past, but he considered himself past his prime with his fans since retirement. The letter was hidden in among his bills; small and pale blue, missing a return address, and stamped with a ‘forward’ sticker over his old address. It was inked with his legal name smudged across the front. He set the bills aside and opened the letter first.

He slid his finger under the flap, carefully peeling it open and holding his breath that nothing dangerous was inside. He had enemies, he’d had stalkers, he knew better than to be careless with mysterious packages. But the only think inside was a slip of paper. Unfolding it, he saw the paper the note was written on was taken from a diner somewhere in Kyushu. The poor penmanship paired with the source of the paper made Keigo’s stomach churn before he even read the first word.

He gripped the counter to steady himself and read the letter quickly.

Keigo,

You’ve been busy. That agency of yours has stopped sending money. The news says you’ve retired. You’re young and able. Staying home doesn’t pay. Your mother needs you.

- Tomie

Below the sad excuse for a letter was a P.O. Box address. But that was it. Keigo couldn’t help but notice how impersonal it sounded. The first attempt at contact since the League looked into his past and she couldn’t even be bothered to use “I”.

Even still… Your mother needs you. Keigo’s chest ached with a painful chill as he tried thinking over the prospect of sending money. He had money. He had more than he needed with his retirement and royalties from past deals, but he couldn’t. Right? His therapist had reminded him that his mother hadn’t been as innocent in his trauma as he always told himself growing up. If she hadn’t wanted him as a child, she didn’t deserve him as an adult. Wasn’t that what she said? That can’t be right. Weren’t therapists supposed to encourage forgiveness? Then what had she said?

Fuck. He didn’t know. He was her son. Her only family. He had to take care of her. He had to do something. Didn’t he?

She’d sent the letter to his old address, but that wasn’t supposed to be disclosed to the public so how had she found it? If he ignored her, would she keeping digging? If she kept digging, would she find his current address too?

What did he do?

He had to do something.

Something.

What was he supposed to do?

At some point Keigo had zoned out entirely and forgotten to breathe. It was only when Rufus bumped hard into his leg that he broke free and the sight of the letter shaking in his white knuckled grip was the first thing he laid eyes on.

He gasped, chest heaving, and dropped the letter like it had burned him. He stumbled back into the opposite counter and dropped to the ground, watching the unsuspecting paper flutter to his feet. He couldn’t catch his breath. If he didn’t help her, what kind of son would he be? He’d left his mother all alone when he became a hero.

That wasn’t true. No.

More important was how she found him. Was she watching now? Were her eyes floating in the shadows of the apartment that he never let his eyes linger on for longer than a second?

His hands and feet felt like ice, and he rocked into the cabinet behind his back and flexed his shaking hands over and over. Rufus whined against his shoulder, and he wished he could run his fingers through the retriever’s fur to relax his nerves but with how they were now he worried he would hurt him.

When the feelings wouldn’t subside, he shook his phone from his pocket and struggled to hit the phone number at the top of the short list of contacts. It rang once before someone answered, but he could barely read the screen with his shaking.

“Hey.”

“Are you busy?” Keigo swallowed heavily and hid his mouth in his arm to muffle the panting.

“No. Something wrong?”

That obvious? “Can you –he tried and failed to take a deep breath– come?”

The phone was silent for a moment and to add to the pull of emotions already churning in his stomach, Keigo added regret. He shouldn’t have bothered anyone.

“Yeah, I’m nearby. Do you need me to-”

Keigo hung up. He couldn’t hold himself together like that for any longer into the call even if he felt bad for cutting Touya off. Rufus nudged his cheek with his nose and Keigo desperately wanted to reassure him, but he couldn’t let go of himself anymore. His arms had frozen up.

“I’m okay.” Even as he said it, Keigo thought about how useless it was to lie to a dog that couldn’t even understand him.

The front door opened, and a voice called from the hall. Had times passed that quickly? Rufus turned and barked, never leaving Keigo’s side. Touya followed the sound and emerged in the kitchen doorway. His eyes fell on were Keigo was curling around himself in the corner on the kitchen floor and his expression dropped.

Touya knelt next to Rufus and rubbed his scruff. He searched Keigo’s arms until he found one shaking hand and rubbed his thumb over the anxious digits. Slowly the overwhelming static that filled Keigo’s veins seemed to lessen into a quiet buzz. He could feel Touya’s skin where he saw their hands touching. The returning heat hurt but Keigo welcomed it. At least he felt anchored again. Without letting go of his hand, Touya picked him up off the floor and guided him to the couch. In minutes Keigo was bundled in blankets and warm arms. It soothed to aching like nothing else and he melted into the embrace. Rufus pawed at his limp arm and Touya gently guided him away, taking on the dog’s intended job.

Touya never spoke, never pulled out his phone or reached for the remote, he simply held Keigo as if he was fragile and Keigo couldn’t remember the last time anyone had hugged him. Finally, tears escaped down his face and off his chin.

“Thank you,” he whispered and Touya hummed. The sound echoed in his chest next to Keigo’s ear like a lullaby. “Please don’t go.”

“I didn’t plan on leaving.” It was then that Touya pulled out his phone, typing rapidly with one free hand before tossing it into the corner of the couch and returning his full attention to Keigo. “I’ll stay as long as you need. Just catch your breath.”

A moment passed and Keigo spoke again, embarrassed. “Touya?”

“Yeah.”

“I think you’re the first person to hug me.”

He heard Touya’s heartbeat shift, but he only hummed again and held on a little tighter. Keigo understood now. In movies the reunited lovers would always hug each other as if they wanted to merge into one person. In Touya’s arms, Keigo wanted to be held so tight the ache in his chest melted against Touya’s ribs and disappeared.

He clicked his tongue to get Rufus’ attention and patted his thigh. The dog bounded onto the couch and settled his head against their intertwined laps. It was the first breath Keigo was able to take that didn’t hurt. With a satisfied coo, he closed his eyes against Touya’s collarbone and took a deep breath, sinking further. He hadn’t been tired before reading the letter.

“I should go.” Keigo was being polite. As much as he didn’t want to move, he couldn’t just invite himself to nap in the safety of Touya’s arms.

“You can stay. I’ll hold you if you fall asleep.”

Keigo turned his chin up, dragging his wet cheek against Touya’s shirt. “You’ve gotten soft since the war.” He ended the sentence with a cat-ish yawn.

“Maybe,” Touya said and pushed his fingers through Keigo’s hair, straightening the ruffles like he was preening crooked feathers. “Or maybe, I’m just now realizing how likable you are, pretty bird.”

Keigo smiled and didn’t give the words much thought as he nestled closer. He simply nodded and stopped trying to keep up with his surroundings. Occasionally, he would float back into focus and hear what sounded like news reporters, later the chirps of a game, still later he felt the couch disappear from beneath him and the sway of Touya’s walking. Maybe he should have been more concerned, but he wasn’t so sure if he was awake or not and he couldn’t help but nod off again in those oh-so-comfortable arms.

Somewhere in the back of Keigo’s mind, a quiet mumble grew louder and louder until he stirred from his sleep for the final time. The mumbling continued as Keigo stared at the closed curtains of his window across the room. No light was shining through, it must have been late.

“-just for tonight. I’ve got the cuffs on, you can literally see my location … you’re joking, why would I lie about- oh fuck off … a picture? Fine. … No. He’s sleeping, I’ll find something else.”

“Touya?” Keigo sat up, finding said man in the bedroom doorway. He was on the phone, but he paused.

“Hey. You good?” He asked as he held the phone at arm’s length and approached the bed. He leaned over Rufus, who had perched on the edge of the mattress, and held the phone between them. “My officer thinks I’m lying about where I am. Can you say something?”

“Hello?” Keigo was still trying to wake up and process what was happening. He yawned into the speaker as a voice he didn’t know answered on the other side.

“I’m Todoroki Touya’s probation officer. Who is this?”

“Takami Keigo. Retired-hero Hawks? Has something happened?”

“Todoroki has informed me that he will be staying at your residency tonight. Can you give me a reason for him breaking curfew?”

Touya rolled his eyes. “That’s not your business, dipshit. You got your proof, now get off my back.”

“Touya!” Keigo hushed. “You can’t call him that!”

“I’ve said worse. He’s got tough skin. See ya’ tomorrow, dipshit.” He hung up and Keigo cringed, staring at him in poorly contained confusion.

“I didn’t know you had a curfew. Will you get in trouble?”

Touya shrugged and sat down on the bed, pushing Rufus to the floor with a thud. “The cuffs have a tracker and you just proved I wasn’t lying. He’ll get over it.”

“I guess I’m relieved you’ve still got an attitude. Otherwise, you might as well be a while new person.”

“Would that bother you?”

“A little,” he smiled. “Dabi was a dick, kinda expected Touya to be too.”

“Dabi was a dick to everyone. Touya is only a dick to people he doesn’t like.”

Keigo snorted. “Oh, so you like me then?”

“I’m not saying it.”

Keigo grinned and leaned into his nearby shoulder. “I’m taking it as a win.” He was pleased when Touya looked away and shoved his face back from his shoulder. He scooted even closer and poked Touya’s side. “Are you embarrassed? What? Don’t look away!”

He squeezed Touya’s face and pulled it back to face him, a bit disappointed by the lack of visible blush even if he could feel the heat under his fingertips.

“I can still leave if you annoy me enough,” Touya managed to say through Keigo’s hold. Keigo was quick to give him space then. He didn’t want to be alone again yet. Seeing his change in attitude, Touya sighed. “I didn’t mean that. I won’t actually leave unless you ask me to.”

Relieved, Keigo flopped back into his pillow and stared up at the dull white ceiling. Touya shifted to lean against the headboard. The bed shook as Rufus hopped to Keigo’s side and settled his head on his stomach.

“So… do you want to talk about it?”

Keigo buried his hand in Rufus fur. The dog’s breathing reverberated through his bones, and he relaxed. “I got a letter today.”

Silence.

“From my mother.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

Touya tapped his fingers against his knees as he tried deciding how to continue. “What did the letter say?”

“She doesn’t like that I’m retired already, since she’s stopped getting money.”

 “Anything else?”

He shook his head. “Just money. It’s always been money.”

“This has happened before?”

He shook his head again, turning to look up at Touya, “I haven’t seen her since I was seven and the last contact we had was the note she left before running away after your visit. I just mean that… money was always a problem. She never had any, my dad made money breaking who knows how many laws and brought us food with whatever money he didn’t spend on alcohol and cigarettes. The Commission probably paid less for me than they would have had she actually wanted me; but she didn’t so she took the money she thought I was worth and bought herself that penthouse. The Commission sent her money each month after I debuted, I’ve seen her bank account, there are charities with less to their name. They aren’t sending her money anymore for obvious reasons; and even if she did want to apply for a job, she’d never be clean enough to get hired anywhere that pays well.” He looked back at the ceiling. “All that and I’m still almost swayed to help. She said she needed me, Touya.”

The air weighed heavily on the quiet room, holding them in place and making it harder to breathe. Touya cursed in a voice much louder than he intended and found Keigo’s wrist between them, squeezing it in an attempt at comfort.

“You’re a better man than I am. With a deal that shitty, I wouldn’t even give her the time of day.”

“I’m all she’s got.”

“She gave you away and when I came knocking, she didn’t even pause to think about it before spilling everything.

Keigo sat up and leveled Touya with a serious look. “I know she did a lot of things wrong raising me, but she’s human and she had to live with my father as much as I did. Part of me has always regretted never reaching out again.”

“Why?”

“Look at your own brother! He gave your parents a second chance and now you’re together and happy. What if this is my last chance to do the same?”

Touya looked almost pissed at such a claim. “Shoto shouldn’t be your role model for that type of shit. Our family is complicated-”

“So was mine! Why do you deserve a second chance and all these people who care about you, and I don’t?” Keigo felt his face getting hotter and looked away before he could start crying again. He rubbed furiously at his face while Touya watched his back in stunned silence.

“I’m sorry. That was stupid. I know it’s not the same. I’m just tired and not thinking straight.”

“Don’t apologize, you do it too much already.” He heard Touya exhale in exasperation and the bed creaked before he was unceremoniously tumbling backwards into the man’s front. When he spoke again, it was against his ear. “You deserve all of that just as much if not more than I do.”

Keigo hiccupped and cursed. “No, I’m happy for you. If you didn’t have them, you wouldn’t be here now… and I’m happy you’re here.”

Touya settled a hand in his hair again and whispered, “Me too.”

The words sent a jolt through Keigo’s spine, and he reached up, gripping tight to Touya’s sleeve. He tried to move as little as possible. His hiccups stopped soon after and he took his time planning his next words carefully.

“If I don’t send her money, do you think she will reach out again?”

“Do you want her to?”

Keigo shook his head.

He couldn’t get himself to say otherwise. It hurt, it felt like a betrayal, to admit he didn’t want to see his own mother; but what he wanted wasn’t Takami Tomie, the woman who gave him away, it was just someone, anyone he could call family. He had always been alone and no matter how hard he worked to spend as little time in his empty apartment as he could, that fact hadn’t changed.

Touya’s embrace didn’t loosen even in the presence of such a revelation. He held steadfast and spoke firmly from where he sat supporting Keigo.

“She’s not entitled to you. If she does make contact again, I’ll be here if you need me.”

Even if he didn’t say it, that was all Keigo needed to hear.

Chapter Text

In all the fires you’ve started, the heat beneath my ribs is the hottest.

Even before Keigo received the letter from his mother (the letter now lovingly thrown at the bottom of his kitchen trash can), he and Touya had been getting closer. As if the fact that they spent most of their time together didn’t make it clear enough. However, the letter had caused something to shift in their relationship. Where both had been overly aware of their skinship with one another before, that concern seemed to have melted away.

If they were sitting on the couch, they were almost always touching, whether it was their feet tangled together on the middle cushion or their shoulders pressed so tight not even Rufus could force his way in. Having barely enough height on Keigo to warrant bragging, Touya still found ways to drape himself on Keigo’s shoulders when talking and weigh him down to an even smaller height (rude). When they took Rufus for walks, Keigo would find himself slipping his hand around Touya’s arm when he would stray a bit further ahead that the former wanted.

Neither of them ever brought attention to it, comfortable with his new step forward and the wall they had broken down between them. Not to mention the seasons were changing, and even with the quirk suppressant cuffs on, Touya exuded a comfortable amount of warmth that Keigo’s sensitive bones loved taking advantage of.

As fall turned into winter, ‘acquaintance’ became ‘friend’ and ‘friend’ was already starting to feel less intimate than whatever was silently blossoming between them. At some point, Touya finally invited Keigo over to his apartment. It was a nice place. Neither extravagant or bland, instead it sat comfortably between the two. His apartment was not much smaller than Keigo’s with an open concept living and kitchen space along with a single bedroom and bath.

His living room was decorated with a full wall of mismatched bookshelves that he had almost managed to fill with all his trips to the bookstore. Some of the shelves looked more worn than others and Keigo was observant enough to realize it was a common trend in Touya’s home. None of his furniture blatantly matched but everything was in a neutral enough tone that it didn’t clash. Keigo assumed it was a combination of his siblings’ involvement and second-hand purchases.

Touya’s room was more barren than the rest of the apartment. He had a desk full of art supplies, a hobby Keigo had come to learn Touya was very good at. When they went out and Touya doodled on restaurant napkins, Keigo made a habit of collecting the little masterpieces for himself. Beside the desk, there was a small bookshelf that doubled as a nightstand and his bed. If the setup reminded Keigo of the rare occasion he had seen Dabi’s room at the PLF hideout, he didn’t say so.

Just like at Keigo’s they always found their home in the main room. On this particular visit, Keigo had himself comfortable on one of the five cushions around the low table and watched Touya flit about in the kitchen.

“Are you sure you don’t want help?”

“For your own birthday dinner? No. I’ll handle everything.”

Right. Keigo hadn’t told Touya when his birthday was, but a quick internet search had left the ex-villain almost fuming at the prospect of nearly missing it. It was barely the 20^th of December and yet here he was making up for lost time as Touya had put it. They hadn’t talked about it at all, but Touya was pretty intuitive, he figured out on his own that birthday celebrations had been far and few for the retired hero.

“Well, if you change your mind–”

“Of course, Kei.”

Touya returned to setting out various ingredients and prep dishes as Keigo watched. His phone dinged once and drew his attention away to check the notification.

The Year’s End Hero Gala. He read over the details with little interest. He had gone to those before, and they were often incredibly dull and superficial in a way only alcohol could cure. He sighed and waved Touya back to what he was doing when the man threw him a concerned look.

He watched Touya’s back, shirt pulling over shoulders that had once been scarred nearly violet. He’d probably never gone to many parties in his life. Maybe when he was younger, as Endeavor’s family, but villains didn’t throw galas as far as he knew. Lucky them.

“Hey Tou?”

He looked over his shoulder.

“Do you like parties?”

Touya thought for a moment. “When I was little, I went to events with Enji and was delusional enough to think I’d make connections young. Obviously, things have changed since then. Why?”

“Then you probably wouldn’t want to be my plus-one for the end of year gala, would you?”

Touya’s brow nearly disappeared under his bangs. “Do you hear yourself? A hero event, and you want to bring an ex-terrorist? There must be at least ten people going that I have personally victimized.”

Keigo huffed and drummed his fingers on the table, dropping his chin to his fist. Pouting wouldn’t get him anywhere, but he did it anyway. “I know, I know. Don’t forget, I’m one of those people. I just don’t really want to go either, but if you were there it might be more bearable…”

“And?”

“… and it might be good for the reformation program, which is good, right? Isn’t that what we want?”

Touya dropped his spoon in the mixing bowl a bit too aggressively and Keigo flinched, sitting properly on instinct. “Is this a PR stunt? You’re not even a hero anymore, why bother?” He spun around and crossed his arms, glaring across the kitchen. Keigo gnawed on the inside of his cheek.

“I thought that you would like this idea. People would be more open to the program expanding if they saw how different you are now.”

“Like a show dog?” Touya spat.

“Touya!” Keigo jumped to his feet, knocking his knee on the table and spilling his glass of water across the hardwood. With a quick curse and hurried apology, he started sopping up the water with his coat sleeve while Touya fetched a rag. “You’re being purposely combative.”

Touya knew that. He knew he was being unfair, but he was always on edge this time of year and bringing up the past was a one-way ticket to making it worse. Keigo didn’t know that though and Touya wasn’t supposed to be a short fuse anymore. He took a deep breath and finished drying the table, already taking Keigo’s wet coat off him to hang on the balcony.

“Why can’t you just skip it?” He eventually asked when he returned. Keigo hadn’t sat down again, instead leaned against the counter with his empty glass clutched in two hands. His thumb rubbed back and forth across the glass.

“I’ve been blowing everything off for so long… I want to prove that I still landed on two feet after the war.”

Touya plucked the glass from his hands and set it in the sink, returning to his mixing bowl. “So, you want to lie?”

Keigo glared at him with little malice. “I am doing better. Now. Because of you and Rufus–” and because you stopped avoiding your therapist, Touya cut in “–Yeah. At least they would stop sending those stupid pity messages. I’m sorry I asked, alright? I figured it was a bad idea. Why would you want to hang around a bunch of two-faced heroes anyway? Idon’t even want to.”

Touya watched Keigo’s eyes disappear into a smile that wavered nervously and sighed. “I’ll go.”

“You will?” He perked up immediately.

“Yeah. You’re right, it’s good for the program; as a dull as it is, it’s better than prison.”

Keigo jumped across the kitchen and right into Touya’s startled arms. “Thank you!” I was worried I’d have to find someone else.”

Someone else? Who else would there be? He was the only person Keigo talked to. The concept of Keigo draped on someone else’s arm made something strange stir in Touya’s chest. He patted the blond’s hip until he let go again.

“Who would you have invited?”

“I dunno. They’ve got apps for everything now. I could ask Rumi; I hear she’s always meeting people.”

“Like a date? I would have said yes right away if you told me that.”

“What?”

“What?”

“You said–”

“No, I didn’t. Fuck off so I can finish cooking.” He shoved Keigo’s head away when he laughed and turned back to his bowl to finally finish what he was doing. When he chanced a look at Keigo, he was back in his seat and watching out the window with a satisfied smile on his face. Touya smiled too.

Sometime between their conversation and the food finally making it to the table, it had started to snow. The little flurries clung to the windows and the two watched a thin layer of white cling to the material of what was supposed to be Keigo’s drying coat. Now that he couldn’t use his quirk, Touya had actually had to invest in warmer clothes for the colder seasons, he made a note to send Keigo home with a jacket that wasn’t soaked in precipitation.

Halfway through eating the cake Touya had prepared, one of the best Keigo had ever had (Touya figured he was just exaggerating, this was the same guy who went to parties with luxury catering), Touya was struck with an idea. He hadn’t put much effort into decorating for the holiday season, Christmas had never been a priority concern, but it only made the red and green invitation all the more obvious where it hung on his fridge.

“Hey, Kei.”

Keigo hummed an acknowledgment through the mouth full of strawberries he had stolen off the top of the cake.

“Have you ever celebrated Christmas?”

He at least had the curtesy to swallow before speaking. “I’ve gone to parties, but I always took the Christmas Eve and Day shift because no one else wanted to.” As soon as he finished speaking, he popped another strawberry in his mouth.

“Do you want to celebrate with my family this year? Consider it the trade-off for the gala.” Touya cut another slice of the cake and set it on Keigo’s plate so he would stop picking at the full thing.

“But I’d be butting in. This is your first Christmas with your family again.”

“They won’t mind. Yumi was starting to worry that I wasn’t making friends anyway.

Keigo finally set down his fork and leaned against the edge of the couch. “I’m not sure pro-hero Hawks is who she had in mind.”

At that, Touya grinned, nudging Keigo’s knee with his foot under the table. “I’m not friends with pro-hero Hawks, I’m friends with Takami Keigo. They’re two totally different people.”

If Keigo’s heart skipped for just a second, he ignored it. It was definitely just acid reflux from all the fruit and cake. In the end, he did give in; promising he wouldn’t bail as he slipped into one of Touya’s clean jackets and left with the leftover cake to indulge in in the week leading up to the holidays.

Christmas came around faster than expected, faster than Keigo was mentally prepared for. In the week leading up to the Todoroki family gathering, Touya took Keigo shopping for something less formal to wear to dinner as well as to find a childish Christmas bow to put Rufus in. Bring him too, he can eat the table scraps. And even when Touya swore up and down that Keigo didn’t need to bring anything by himself, he still showed up with a bottle of wine that’s price tag would have left any middle-class citizen quaking in their boots.

The woman of the house, Ms. Rei Himura as she now identified, accepted the gift graciously even as Touya leveled Keigo with a look of feigned annoyance. “We haven’t spoken since Enji’s hospitalization, have we? It’s so nice to see you healthy. You were so thin then, I worried you wouldn’t make it through the battle,” she rambled as she shook his outstretched hand.

Keigo blushed at the attention and bowed until his forehead nearly touched their clasped hands. “I appreciate your concern. Your son has been taking good care of me.” That got him a swift elbow to the ribs and a hand hefting him upright again. If didn’t know any better, he would say Touya was pouting.

A voice from the kitchen laughed and footsteps approached. “Touya? Take care of someone else? You sure we’re talking about the same person?” Following the disembodied comment, the middle Todoroki son appeared in the entryway, Natsuo. He was on his knees greeting Rufus as soon as he laid eyes on him. Rufus’ tail smacked against Keigo’s leg in response, excited by the attention. “No one told me a dog was coming.”

Touya rolled his eyes and tugged Keigo into the house, finally escaping the entrance. “I did tell you; you just didn’t listen.” With that, he took the leash in Keigo’s hand, tossed it at Natsuo’s head, and dragged Keigo into the dining space. With an unceremonious shove, Keigo found himself seated at the table. Touya greeted his sister across the island that separated them from the kitchen. She smiled and bowed respectfully at Keigo. Rei appeared just long enough to set the wine on the table and situate Keigo with a glass of water before joining her eldest children in the dinner preparations.

“Is there anything I can help with?” Keigo asked, feeling incredibly out of place and a bit betrayed by how quickly Rufus had attached himself to Natsuo’s side.

“Dear, you’re a guest. You don’t need to do anything.”

“Oh.” Twice in the span of two weeks now, a Todoroki had told him not to help when that literally all Keigo knew how to do. He really needed to work on settling that involuntary urge to be involved.

It wasn’t long before the youngest appeared from upstairs. He seemed only a little taken aback by Keigo’s presence, but he simply nodded a casual greeting as he passed. “Hawks-san.”

From the kitchen, Touya yelled across the noise of clattering dishes. “I told you not to call him that, shit-head.”

Both Fuyumi and Rei yelled at Fuyumi for his profanity as Shoto once again bowed a half-hearted apology in Keigo’s direction and joined Natsuo and Rufus in the living room. Would it be considered rude to leave the table and join them? After all, Rufus was his dog. He stayed put.

Watching the family flit around each other as they worked, Keigo felt himself relaxing. Maybe he didn’t quite fit the picture but seeing it all as an onlooker had an inexplicable warm curling around his insides. After everything they had gone through and the years they had spent mourning Touya, there were able to do something as mundane as cooking side by side again.

Having an added height on his mother, Touya was continuously reaching into pantries above her at Fuyumi’s head. Keigo watched as he washed his hands and flicked the loose water in his sister’s direction. She yelped and shouted his name, threw a towel across the kitchen at his head. Keigo laughed at the scandalized look the eldest was now sporting.

At the sound, the chaos faded as the occupants of the kitchen turned his way. Rei smiled. At her side, Touya tilted his head. “What?”

Keigo grinned, balancing his cheek against his fist. “I’m glad you’ve settled in so well.”

Natsuo, clearly having discovered a newfound joy in bothering Touya, appeared from the living room with Rufus at his heals. While the dog ran to greet his owner, Natsuo joined the others in the kitchen. “He pretends he still hates us, but he doesn’t.” As he spoke, Shoto slid into the seat one away from Keigo. Rufus nudged his knee once before returning to settle on top of Keigo’s feet.

Back in the kitchen, there was a light whack as Touya slapped the back of Natsuo’s head and made a point to not look in Keigo’s direction. “Will you shut up.”

“Touya please,” Fuyumi sighed at their antics.

“Come on, he started that one!”

Keigo laughed again and lifted a foot under the table to ran along Rufus’ spine. The content thud of his tail on the hardwood floors, joined the returning kitchen noises in the air. Not long into the new silence, Shoto spoke. Keigo flinched, nearly forgetting he was there.

“Why are you two talking again?” Ever the blunt one, Shoto’s expression stayed neutral.

Keigo glanced at Touya, seeing he was too busy with his head in the oven to overhear. “It just kind of happened. We’ve both changed a lot since then.”

“Why not find someone who hasn’t tried to kill you?” Shoto sounded genuinely confused.

Tearing his attention away from the kitchen, Keigo looked at the teenager in front of him. He’d healed well since the war ended. None of his scars were as evident as the one across his face. It was a relief; he was too young to have that kind of permanent damage. Keigo hoped he wouldn’t have to fight anymore wars in his lifetime.

“We understand each other better than anyone else would.” He smiled and watched the corner of Shoto’s lips twitch in response.

“Were you friends before too?”

Keigo thought a moment, humming. “Maybe. I don’t think he ever really trusted me.”

“Did you trust him?” Again, with these blunt questions. He was beginning to wonder where Shoto got it from.

“More than I probably should have.”

A plate clacked against the table and Keigo nearly jumped again. These damn Todoroki’s walked so softly. He looked up to greet Touya who had draped his arm along the back of his chair and leaned in enough to make eye contact with both of them at once.

“What ‘cha talking about?”

“Noth–”

“You.” Dammit Shoto.

“Oh really? Guess your curiosity wasn’t just your occupation, birdie.” Touya laughed and tugged playfully at Keigo’s piercing. He leaned into it to alleviate the pressure before swatting the hand away.

“I was the one asking.” I take it back, not dammit Shoto.

“Oh?” His hand found it’s home in Keigo’s hair this time. “And what kind of secrets were you letting slip to my dear old baby brother?”

Shoto furrowed his nose at the nickname and Keigo rolled his eyes and tilted his head towards Touya. “Nervous?”

The latter scoffed. “Hardly, they were at my trial, they already know my crimes.”

“Are you bragging again?” Natsuo asked as he set dishes on the table in front of them.

“I’m not bragging.”

Keigo muffled his snort of laughter behind his hand, “You’re bragging.”

“I am not!”

From the kitchen, Rei called for Touya’s help and he glared at the two men. “You’re lucky.”

Keigo feigned chills and grinned at the look Touya gave him.

“I guess I see it now,” Shoto spoke matter-of-factly. Keigo promptly settled back into his seat and cleared his throat, gathering himself as the rest of the family joined the table.

The family of five spoke comfortably with one another, passing plates back and forth as they went. Keigo couldn’t say he felt like he fit in, but he enjoyed the added company. Watching the conversations passed across the table felt a little bit like the families he’d see on tv; it was nice. He studied Touya’s relaxed shoulders and easy expression as he spoke and smiled when he caught Shoto passing food to Rufus under the table.

“Keigo, dear, you’ve been rather quiet.” Rei spoke from the end of the table and Keigo was quick to send a polite smile back.

“I was just enjoying the company.” The comment seemed to please her.

“Do you have any of your own holiday traditions?”

“There was never much time for holidays as a hero. I enjoyed watching the first snow each year, even if the cold slowed down my reflexes.” Keigo tried his best to sound positive and not warrant concern. He supposed he was in the wrong company for blissful ignorance.

“Did you ever believe in any holiday myths.”

“I didn’t know any until I was older.” As he spoke, Keigo didn’t miss the way Touya signaled for the conversation to change. He appreciated it. Seizing the opportunity, Touya spoke.

“You know what I haven’t done since I was a kid?” His raised voice easily drew the attention of the table to him. “I haven’t watched one of those cheesy Christmas movies in years. Do you still have those on tape.”

Natsuo and Shoto laughed in tandem. “What year do you think it is? Everything is digital,” Natsuo snorted and waved in the direction of the tv and the lack of DVD and VHS player underneath. Touya rolled his eyes.

“Remind me. While you got all your cushy toys from Endeavor’s paycheck, where was my money coming from?”

The mood fizzled out just so and Keigo elbowed Touya’s side. “Don’t be rude.”

“I wasn’t being rude. I was being blunt. Wasn’t tryin’ to kill the mood.”

Fuyumi was quick to jump in. “You didn’t. We’re all just adjusting.”

Rei and Keigo was quick to smile in agreement. In an attempt to escape the awkward air at the table, the kids started collecting dishes to bring to the kitchen. Keigo stood to help and was quickly shoved back into his chair. Guests don’t clean up after themselves, Natsuo told him before giving his mother a stern look when she attempted to help as well. Preparing to settle in for another bought of silence, Keigo was surprised from his thoughts when Touya tapped his shoulder. Upon making eye contact, Touya dragged his out of the room by his arm, both unaware of Rei’s knowing look.

“I’ve got something for you,” Touya explained as Keigo followed him up the stairs to a room at the end of the hall that looked barely lived in. He opened a drawer in the dresser and revealed a gift wrapped in red and tied with a green ribbon. He set it in Keigo’s hands, and the latter watched a hint of color on his cheeks.

“I’m shit at wrapping, but I didn’t want to ask for help. Open it.”

Keigo looked from the gift in his hands back to Touya’s nervous expression. “You told me not ot bring anything.” His ears felt hot. Had he misunderstood somehow?

“Just open it, Kei.”

He took his time slipping his fingers under the folds and undoing each piece of tape, so nothing tore. The silence was deafening but Touya didn’t do more than rock on his heals as he watched. Inside was a journal, worn and a bit singed around the corners. There were charcoal drawings practically carved into the cover considering how deep the indents were.

Before Keigo could ask, Touya jumped to explain.

“I saw you collecting the napkins I drew on when we went out. It’s stupid, but this was one of the books I used to use when I was– before.”

Keigo opened the cover with careful fingers and the first sketch caught him by surprise. Him. Well, the sketch didn’t have a face, but that was his hero costume and his wings that filled the page. He was afraid to touch more than the corners of the pages for fear of smudging anything. Turning the page, the back side was filled with Dabi’s familiar handwriting with less than pleasant expressions about the ex-hero.

“I already told you I had started to like you back then, figured it may be easier to believe with evidence. If you keep reading, you’ll see.” Touya cleared his throat and picked at the almost healed scar on his jaw.

Keigo flipped to the back of the book in search of a page with more words. Sure enough.

It would be easier if we were on the same side.

They’re in his head.

If he knew how to think for himself, we– Whatever Dabi had said was scratched out so hard with a pen that the paper tore. Keigo touched the spot and finally looked away.

Touya looked like he had been holding his breath the entire time Keigo was silent. There it was, proof that Dabi had been lying when he said he never believed Hawks and that, all those months ago, Touya had been honest when he said his emotions were what stopped him from killing Keigo. It was something Keigo hadn’t thought about much since they’d gotten close, but the weight of the journal in his hands had pushed almost all the heaviness off his shoulders.

He closed the book and whispered, “Thank you.”

Touya visibly relaxed, nodding.

“You’re giving this to me? It’s not important to you?”

“It is… but you’ll take care of it for me.”

Now Keigo was hot. He wet his lips and looked at the bedroom door where the hall light leaked through the crack. A shadow moved just out of view and Keigo chuckled, nudging Touya close enough to whisper against his ear.

“We have company.”

Touya practically leapt across the room and flung open the bedroom door. “Mom!”

Keigo laughed in time with the woman now in full view from the door. He walked across the space to brush against Touya’s side, hands close enough for their fingers to tangle together if they so desired. He bowed shortly to Rei who waved his greeting off with a sweet smile.

“You were gone for a while. I was just checking on you.” There was a glint in her eye that Keigo pretended to ignore. He watched her eye the journal clutched to his chest in curiosity.

“We were coming back down soon anyway,” Touya grumbled, leaning against the door frame, and strategically hiding the journal from view. Keigo had to sidestep to continue proper eye contact.

“If my son every bothers you Keigo, let me know.”

Keigo laughed and elbowed Touya when he continued to grumble under his breath. “No, Ms. Himura. A year ago, maybe, but not anymore.”

She shook her head and let out an amused only for you before walking back down the stairs. When they didn’t immediately follow, she called from the living room. “Shoto wants to watch one of those movies you mentioned, don’t be long.”

Touya righted himself then and turned back to Keigo. They were silent for a moment as the low murmur of the Todoroki residency continued just out of ear shot. Keigo ran his thumb along the worn spine of the journal. Touya watched the movement.

“Thank you, Touya.”

“You already said that, come on. Shoto will get impatient.” He tugged on Keigo’s wrist and made for the stairs. Keigo planted his feet at the top, pulling his arm just enough that Touya’s hand caught on his. He squeezed the rough fingers tight.

“Not just for the journal. For this.” He gestured to the space between them with the hand holding the journal. He felt Touya’s grip on his hand tighten just so.

Touya looked towards the bottom stared for a moment, finding Rufus waiting faithfully with his excited tail wagging. When he made eye contact again, Keigo still had that god-awful, impossible to hate glow in his eyes. Gold really was right. He had to smile as he ruffled the hair on Keigo’s head as if he were endearing (maybe he was).

“You don’t have to thank you for that. The feeling’s mutual.”

“Hurry up!” Natsuo’s annoyed voice hollered at them, and Rufus ran to investigate, nails clicking on the hardwood floors.

“We’re going. Cool your tits!” A series of exasperated scoldings echoed back and Touya chuckled, pulling Keigo down the stairs. He looked over his shoulder once more before they reached the bottom, “Really, Kei. I’m glad you’re here.”

Turning the corner, they joined the rest of the family huddled together in front of the tv. A fiery and comforting warmth filled them both, only growing where they brushed shoulders side by side on the couch. If the family noticed Keigo leaning further into Touya’s side as the movie continued, they didn’t say. Afterall, who’s right was it to interrupt the content look they all saw on their long-lost brother’s face.

Chapter Text

Next to you, the stars are brightest.

The things Touya endured for this man.

The stares from half the gala attendees were starting to piss him off. It wasn’t like he looked like Dabi anymore, how did they all still recognize him so easily? Not to mention, some dumbass staff member had stolen Keigo away the minute they entered the main room and now Touya was left to wander aimlessly until he found him again.

At least the champagne and snacks were good. Touya had downed just enough bubbly flutes to make his insides warm like the cuffs tucked under his sleeves had ceased to do their job. Nearly an hour after they had been separated, a flash of familiar tousled blonde hair caught his eye from the edge of the crowd, and he pushed through heroes sporting expensive outfits and false smiles to get to Keigo.

When the crowd parted to give him space, he approached slowly, taking in Keigo’s turned back and the stranger talking energetically in front of him. The ex-hero was wearing a suit from a gala years prior. It had a large hole in the back, perfect for his wings had they ever healed properly, now showing off hints of his scars through his shear dress shirt.

Keigo’s shoulders were tense, and his fingers kept tapping his thigh where they hang simi-casually. Touya stepped forward and bumped Keigo’s shoulder lightly. Their hands slid together naturally, and he caught the fingers in their restless tapping. The tension in Keigo’s shoulders fell almost instantly and when he looked at Touya, his fake smile turned genuine.

The stranger, a member of the press by the looks of his badge, stopped blabbing when Touya caught his gaze in a sharp look. He stuttered and when his eyes drifted to their intertwined hands, Touya adjusted his body just enough to hide it from view. The press of all things did not need to catch wind of whatever was going on between them. They couldn’t have rumors flying before they even figured it out themselves. Not to mention the bad publicity Keigo would get.

“I need to steal him from you,” Touya nearly growled, showing his teeth off in his smile more than necessary.

“Oh. Of course!” The reported squeaked and turned tail. When he had completely merged with the rest of the partygoers, Touya guided Keigo in the opposite direction through the crowd and low-hanging cloud of intoxication to an empty hall beyond the gala room. They leaned against the wall, still hand in hand and nursing their most recent pair of drinks.

“Thanks. I couldn’t shake him.” Keigo smiled and nudged Touya’s shoulder.

“You have that effect on people. The suit helps.”

Keigo scoffed and leaned his head back against the wall before turning it limply to look Touya over with an amused grin. “Of course, you’d say that about the suit you picked out.”

“You’re right. I have good taste.” Looking him up and down for neither the first nor last time that evening, Touya’s chest stuttered. Setting his empty flute on a nearby table, Touya released Keigo’s hand to tug at his tie. Keigo didn’t move, still letting the wall hold him up as Touya fixed the knot he had loosened at some point during the night when he wasn’t looking.

When the material was straight again, Touya ran his hands across Keigo’s collar and shoulders to smooth the folds and then lifted his hand to press the gemstone stud glittering in Keigo’s ear between his thumb and forefinger.

“Blue is a good color on you,” he hummed and traced the shape of Keigo’s ear down his jaw, index finger perched under his chin.

“You think so?” Keigo smirked.

“I may be biased.”

Keigo straightened his pose subtly, coming to eye level. “Yeah, maybe.” He tilted his head just enough to the side that the low lighting hit the studs and drew Touya’s eyes back to them. “I know why you picked them.”

“Oh yeah? Why?” Touya let go and pressed his hand against the wall by Keigo’s head. It didn’t linger long before sliding lower to the space beside his waist. Touya’s other hand found the same spot on his other side, drawing the two even closer together.

“They match your eyes,” Keigo whispered, amber eyes bouncing between the turquoise ones glowing barely an inch from his own.

“Why would I buy you earrings that match my eyes?” Touya whispered back.

Keigo shook his head slowly and fiddled with the lapels of Touya’s suit, fingers slipping between it and the black dress shirt underneath.

“Use your brain, birdie. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” He was getting closer.

“Because y–” he started to whisper back but Touya hushed him softly and closed the space between them.

Gentle and careful of the response, Touya slotted his mouth against Keigo’s parted lips. They were soft as he expected, coated in sweet champagne and sugar from one of the party’s many desserts. The hands on his chest curled around the material of his shirt just enough that it tugged the tailored seams around his shoulders and pulled him closer. Touya shifted his hands from the wall to Keigo’s waist, cupping the small of his back, then a little higher so Keigo was off the wall completely and encased in Touya’s arms.

Keeping his excitement at bay, Touya leaned away and finished his thoughts with a chaste kiss against the edge of Keigo’s lips. He looked so soft with his alcohol blushed cheeks and the pink embarrassment adoring his ears, eyes half lidded but shining like stars. He blinked twice before fully finding himself again and when he did, he smiled and curled into Touya’s shoulder with what could only be described as a childish giggle. It twisted Touya’s heart like a knife.

“You seem happy,” Touya chuckled.

“Aren’t you?” Keigo asked, voice light as a feather, and slipped his hands around Touya’s back. And if that didn’t send Touya’s heart soaring, nothing ever would.

“Why would I be?” His vague amusement turned into a hearty laugh when Keigo pinched him in retaliation. “Of course, I’m happy, pretty bird.”

Keigo leaned away and caught Touya’s gaze. “This isn’t because of the alcohol, is it? I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and be disappointed.”

Touya lifted a hand to run through Keigo’s hair, watching him lean into each pass of his fingers. “It has nothing to do with the alcohol. Anyone would be lucky to be in my position.”

Keigo smirked and pressed on in hopes of flustering his companion. “And what position is that?”

Touya’s quick, “What position do you want it to be” left Keigo at a loss for words. Enjoying the frazzled look on the latter’s face, Touya seemed ready to lean in again when a familiar voice tugged at the edge of their conversation and Keigo leapt from Touya’s arms. He patted himself down and smiled at the approaching teacher. Aizawa cleared his throat and crossed his arms, eyes jumping between Keigo’s face and Touya’s still turned back.

“Is everything alright, Aizawa?”

The teacher ran a hand down his face and looked back to the party. “Everything is fine. The ceremony is about to begin, you two should find your seats.” He turned with a sigh and muttered under his breath. Keigo strained to hear over the muttering of the crowd to no avail. Motioning for Touya to wait for him, he ran after the teacher.

“Wait, Aizawa!” Keigo pulled them both out of the way of the crowd towards a quiet corner and cleared his throat. “It’s about Touya.” Aizawa frowned but nodded for him to continue. “You told him my address back then, didn’t you?”

The frown deepened. “Shoto asked with the excuse that he wanted to check in. When I found out who he was giving it to, I told his brother’s probation officer.”

Keigo crossed his arms across his chest with a half-hearted grin, “I can’t say I expected such lax concern from someone such as yourself.”

With the roll of his tired eyes, Aizawa shook his head. “Seems to have gone in your favor regardless.” He gave a pointed look over Keigo’s shoulder towards where Touya had emerged from the hall and was approaching slowly.

Keigo gave an embarrassed laugh and tugging at his collar. “You saw?”

“I inferred. I’m not a teacher for nothing.”

Touya threw an arm around Keigo’s shoulder and leaned into Aizawa’s space. With all the charm and charisma of a bygone villain, he flashed a coy smile. “Worried I’ll be a bad influence?”

“Concerned for his sanity maybe, go sit down and don’t cause trouble.”

With the click of his tongue, Touya hooked his arm around Keigo’s elbow and made for the table with their name cards across the room. He waved to Aizawa as he went. “That’s all I’m good at!”

Keigo cringed and sent the teacher an apologetic look which was returned with a half-hearted wave. He supposed the teacher was to thank for the past months’ events. Where else would Touya have gotten his address from if Aizawa had refused.

“These things are always so boring. Think we can sneak out during an intermission?” Touya joked as he poured them both a drink from the center of the table. Their table mates paid them no mind.

“The staff asked me to be present for the entire night. If you would like to leave early, I can’t blame you.” Keigo sipped from his glass and when Touya opened his mouth to complain, made a pointed look to where the hosts had begun speaking on stage.

Regardless of his comments of the matter, Touya didn’t abandon Keigo. Even when his fidgeting leg turned to the dull drumming of his fingers on the table and their table mates sent them less than subtle judgement, he stayed in place. Occasionally he would comment on the outfits some of the speakers of the night had chosen to wear, sometimes Keigo would catch himself whispering back.

Going to a gala with a friend was much more enjoyable than any of the times he had gone alone. While he still remained respectful throughout the event, he no longer had to keep up appearances as a hero and that was a blessing all on its own.

It was nearing the end of the program when the hosts announced they would be presenting an award to a special nominee. They had already presented the usual awards for the gala. Most Rescues, Largest Rise in Ranking, Largest Fanbase. It was all silly and not to be taken too seriously, an excuse to hand out gold plated statues to public figures and fuel news stations for the holiday season.

“This year we have the addition of a special nomination. The Hero of Inspiration,” one host announced, holding up a statue just as gaudy as the rest. Keigo paused. “This award represents a figure whom Japan’s safety relied on more heavily than most. This hero’s dedication to protecting the people will inspire a new generation of heroes big and small to do the same.”

Maybe it was an award they added while Keigo had been away from the limelight. He shook his head; they had said it was new. Wasn’t it their job as heroes to do what they had described? Why did it warrant a reward?

With a tv ready grin, the host at the pedestal unfolded the envelope in her hands. With a dramatic pause that left the crowd holding their breath, she announced…

“Retired Pro-Hero, Hawks!”

Keigo flinched as the crowd erupted in applause and an entire room of individuals looked his way. He didn’t want this. He really didn’t want this. Weren’t nominees supposed to know they were nominated before an event? With a light nudge, Touya forced him to his feet and nodded towards the stage. When Keigo turned to him for help, he mouthed a sympathetic it’s okay and smiled. With steps heavy as iron, he walked towards the stage.

The clapping didn’t completely cease until he took his first step up the stairs. Music from the in-house band announced his presence. He thought he might be sick. Keigo’s hands shook as he took the award from the first host and stepped up to the podium. Looking out at the crowd, he tried finding it in himself to readopt his old persona, shedding his anxieties to become a camera-ready hero. It didn’t work, his mouth ran dry under the expectant gaze of heroes young and old. He kept his eyes on Touya and held the award like a lifeline.

“Thank you.” He could hear his voice shaking; could they? “I wasn’t expecting anything tonight. I didn’t come prepared.” A few stray laughs broke the silence in the crowd. “I never wanted awards for my work, I saved lives because it was the right thing to do, and it was what I was good for.” Internally, Keigo berated himself for saying something like that in public. His therapist had told him not to think of himself as a tool. He pushed the disappointment aside to make way for the guilt that sank into his chest when he paused to find Best Jeanist in the crowd.

“But… I’ve done things I am not proud of, things a hero should never do. If you feel I am the best fit for this award, I hope I can be a reminder of everything heroes should not be. I’ve seen hints of what the next generation can do, and I look forward to when they will become heroes who are more deserving of this award.”

He set the statue down beside the microphone and stepped away from the podium to bow parallel to the stage. He returned to his seat amidst cautious clapping. The weight of the crowd’s eyes on his back pushed him right past his seat where Touya was waiting and to the closest bathroom. He had barely stepped past the door to the men’s room when his hand was captured in a tight grasp from behind that pulled him down the hall. Keigo followed Touya dutifully and as soon as they pushed through the doors into the empty courtyard, he buried himself in Touya’s arms.

His heart was pounding in his chest, but at least Touya’s embrace could block out all the outside noise. He held on tighter.

“It was a good speech,” Touya patted his head before planting a kiss in his curls. “And as much as you don’t want to hear it, you just proved you were a perfect choice.”

Keigo whined into his shirt and shook his head, “No I’m n–”

“I’m not done.” Touya stepped back and held him at arm’s length. “How many heroes do you know that would deny an award because they didn’t think they lived up to its name?”

Wringing his hands, Keigo trained his attention on his feet. “Don’t you think awards should go to heroes with cleaner records? I thought you hated false idols.”

“I do. That’s not changing any time soon.” He lifted his hold on Keigo’s shoulders to cup his face. “You’re getting special treatment, don’t forget.” That got a laugh out of them both. “Besides, not everyone can lose their quirk mid-battle and continue fighting for their cause.”

Touya planted a soft kiss on the ex-hero’s nose and threw his thumb over his shoulder. “If we stick around too long, they may try chasing you down with that award. Want to make our grand escape?”

“More than anything.” Keigo grinned and wasted no time dragging Touya towards the exit.

Never would Keigo have expected to find himself on his couch curled into the arms of who had once been his enemy in the late hours of the night. A movie made for children half their age on the tv, snacks sweet enough to rot teeth in their laps, and his own therapy dog spread across their feet. They had shed their jackets not far into the door, kicking their socks and shoes at the entrance. Now they were tangled together in various states of dress and content as could be.

The plot of the movie lulled for a moment and Keigo spoke over Rufus’s snoring without lifting his head from Touya’s shoulder. “Do you want to stay the night?”

Touya squeezed his hand where their fingers were locked together in his lap. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Keigo cuddled closer. Never would he have guessed meeting a villain would make all the difference.

Chapter Text

Love unspoken is not love unsaid.

The pair was lucky they figured out their feelings the night of the gala, because so did the press. Their quick escape from the event had not gone unnoticed and the photos that had been snapped of their stupid lovestruck faces had left little room for damage control or cover-ups.

Ex-Hero Hawks Dating Reformed Villain Dabi. Read their Violent History Here First!

The public ate it up. Scandal of the century it seemed. As if Keigo was the first hero to ever take romantic interest in a criminal. Well… maybe he was the highest ranking one to get caught.

Touya’s brother had been the one to break the news. Having slept in after their movie night, the insistent buzzing next to Touya’s head on the couch had earned him an elbow to the ribs from Keigo before he finally gotten up to take it.

“What?” he grunted into the speaker while Keigo burrowed back into his side. Glancing at the clock, it was barely ten.

“Rude.” Natsuo huffed back but Touya caught the laugh he was trying to muffle. “Did I interrupt anything?”

“It’s not even noon, what do you want?”

“My ex-convict brother gets himself a boyfriend and I can’t even call to say congratulations?”

Touya paused. It hadn’t even been a day since they exchanged confessions. How the fuck did he know? “Where did you hear that?”

“The news. Everywhere.”

Touya juggled his phone into his other hand and fumbled for the tv remote, aiming it across the room and clicking through channels. Sure enough, he and Keigo were taking up the full screen in a photo that had obviously been taken without their consent. It wasn’t clear but neither was it blurry enough to deny it was them.

“Well fuck.” No way he was going out in public any time soon. “Do me a favor and bring me clothes from my apartment.” He wasn’t really asking and Natsuo knew that, but he prodded at Touya’s already souring mood as though it was fun. Siblings were such a pain.

“So you spent the night?” He sang, “What do I get out of it?”

He groaned. “I’ll do all the dishes at the next family dinner.”

“That’s it? You suck.”

“If you keep pushing I’ll be on the news for a whole different reason.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll be there in a couple hours. And I get to come upstairs and see Rufus.”

Keigo was starting to wake up and he groaned through a stretch, looking up at Touya’s phone beside his ear with vague annoyance. Clearly the conversation had fought off any attempts of him staying asleep like he had wanted. Touya nodded towards the tv and watched Keigo’s expression fall. The arm around his waist held a little tighter, fingers squeezing his hip.

“Whatever. Bye.”

“Wait! Mom wants to say something too.”

Touya didn’t have time to complain before he heard the jostle between hands and a new, less playful voice answered. Gentle as ever, she spoke softly.

“Touya.”

He gulped, he couldn’t place where she stood from just her tone. “Hi Mom. Disappointed?”

“No sweetie. I’m happy for you. Both of you.”

Touya barely swallowed his relieved sigh before the phone could catch it. “Thanks, Mom.”

“How long has it been?”

“Since last night,” Touya looked back down at his chest at Keigo watching him intently. With a smile, he ruffled Keigo’s bed head. The latter didn’t smile back.

“You should have spoke up sooner. I’ve been waiting since Christmas.”

“Mom!” Keigo flinched. “I have to go.”

“Ok, love you sweetie.”

“You too. Bye.”

As soon as the screen was black and the phone was on the coffee table, Keigo pushed himself upright and hovered over Touya with clear worry on his face. “You’re family saw too?”

“Yeah,” Touya cupped Keigo’s cheek, absentmindedly running his thumb over the outline of that godforsaken scar. “But my mom says I should have said something at Christmas.”

“Christmas?” Keigo squeaked and scooted backwards across the couch to give Touya room to sit up too. His face was red as can be.

A series of chirps from the ex-hero’s phone drew his attention but Touya reached over and turned it off before he could answer.

“Us first. Them later. Not that this changes anything. They’ll get over themselves in a few weeks and we can go back to normal. Until then, I guess you’ve earned yourself a roommate.”

Keigo was quick to protest. “Touya! You can’t just move in the day after we make it official. Especially not if the press gets word of it!”

Grabbing hold of Keigo’s face and leaving a dramatic row of laugh inducing kisses down his nose, Touya simply rolled his eyes at the excuse. “You don’t have a reputation to take care of anymore. So what if people think this is a bad idea? I also already sent Natsuo to stop by my apartment.”

Significantly quieter in his arguing, Keigo shook his head. “I was so close to escaping the lime light too…” He whined and dropped his head against the back of the couch. Touya laughed.

“You won an award last night and rejected it on live tv. They would have talked about you in the morning news regardless.”

He was right. “Let me dream.”

Moving on from the topic, Touya jumped to his feet, hooking his arm under Keigo’s knees in the same motion. Keigo had to cling to his neck to not tumble backwards. He stayed quiet as Touya carried him to the kitchen and dropped him on an empty counter.

“I’ll make breakfast. How much do you trust your door man?” He took to pulling dishes from the cupboards and fishing ingredients from the fridge. Keigo pulled his knees up to his chin, heels hooked on the edge of the countertop.

“I dunno, we’ve never really talked.”

“But he knows who you are.” Keigo nodded. “Would he rat your address out to the press if they asked?”

“Doubt it. There’s a couple celebrities living on the other floors. The building owners don’t want a bad reputation.”

Touya grinned and shoved the mixing bowl full of pancake ingredients into Keigo’s arms along with a whisk. “Then you have nothing to worry about. Make yourself useful. and start stirring”

---

Two months into their little arrangement and the headlines had all but forgotten about them. Neither side of the couple had brought up the idea of Touya moving back into his old apartment. The company was nice and Rufus loved Touya so who were they to upset him?

They had their routines, they knew each others’ idiosyncrasies and had long since moved past them. It wasn’t far off from being the closest thing either of them had ever had to perfect. So they let the conversation be a ‘conversation for another day’ every day and thought nothing of it.

---

Keigo gave little warning before flopping over the arm rest of the chair Touya had made himself at home in. He tumbled into the latter’s lap and earned himself a grunt. Keigo only whined and rubbed at his side where he had fallen on the corner of Touya’s book.

“That didn’t go as planned,” he mumbled from within his tangled limbs. Slowly, like an antsy child, he untwisted into a less awkward angle so he could look up at his boyfriend clearly.

“No shit.” Touya bookmarked his page and set the book down so Keigo could tug on his neck and bring him closer. With little resistance, Keigo planted a heavy kiss on his cheek and took to playing with his snow white hair lazily while Touya watched expectantly. The angle wasn’t kind on his back but he didn’t complain.

“Your hair is getting long.”

“You like it?” Touya pulled free and propped his elbow on the armrest to hold his chin. With a smirk he spun one of the hairs tickling his shirt collar around his index finger.

Keigo nodded and reached up to pinch his face cheek before settling in again. His feet were still hanging over the arm rest and his back would surely ache later from the angle on his neck but he was content as could be.

“Not every guy can pull off a pony tail,” Keigo teased.

“And you think I’m one of them?”

“You could pull off more than pony tails if you wanted.” Keigo purred and ran one of his hands across the hem of Touya’s shirt as he pretended to shift his weight again.

“Are you asking me to?”

With a shit eating grin, Keigo shook his head. “Nope! But I wouldn’t mind such a handsome narrator reading to me.”

“What a tease.”

“My fans love it.”

Touya feigned reaching for his book only to shove Keigo onto the floor. The blonde yelped as he hit the ground and Rufus was at his side in an instant, covering him in curious, slobbery kisses. He groaned and tried rolling out of reach only to roll right into Touya’s arms as he joined them on the floor. He couldn’t move and laughed when Touya nuzzled into his chin, hair tickling his neck.

“Well, I’m not your fan am I?” He accentuated his point with a playful nip at Keigo’s ear.

“No, you’re better. You’re my boyfriend.” No sooner had the line left his lips than the two cringed in tandem. “It sounds so cheesy no matter now I say it.”

“My boyfriend,” Touya teased into Keigo’s ear. The retired hero snorted and leaned away. Touya squeezed a hand around his waist and watched his squirm and muffle another laugh. Who knew heroes could be so ticklish. “My perfect opposite, my diametrically opposed soulmate-” He nuzzled his nose into Keigo’s cheek.

“That’s even worse!” he complained but still turned into his words, catching his mouth in a kiss.

“Fine. If anyone asks, you’re mine.”

Raising a brow, Keigo felt Touya’s hand snake around his neck and turn his head back into another kiss. “Yours?”

“Mine.” He muttered into Keigo’s mouth, words forgotten in the taste of his tongue and movement of his lips. Keigo wrapped his arms around Touya’s neck and the hand on his waist slipped to his thigh, tight enough to imprint and close enough to make his heart race.

In the midst of the world they had lost themselves in, a loud huff in keigo’s air made him jump and smack their teeth together. Both let out a pained noise and his hand shot to his mouth.

Lying beside them, almost transfixed, Rufus huffed again, nosing into where Touya’s wandering hand had left Keigo’s waist exposed. Keigo batted the cold nose away and sighed. When he returned his attention to the man before him, he was hovering only a breath away.

“Guess the moment’s over.”

“It doesn’t have to be, we could always go to your room and close the door.” He trailed off, looking more than ready to throw Keigo over his should and march across the apartment, not to be seen until morning.

Keigo ignored him and ruffled the fur on Rufus’ head. When the retriever seemed content with the attention and closed his eyes, he finally spoke. “I did ask you to read to me earlier. Rufus likes your voice too.”

Sitting up and pulling his abandoned book off the table, he flopped onto the floor between his partner and his furry companion. “You really are a tease,” he huffed.

Curling into his side innocently, Keigo pecked his shoulder. “Consider it a favor, I’ll make it up to you later.”

Not so subtly perking where he lay, Touya quickly found his place on the page. “My favorite words.”

A few pages later, Keigo had long since lost focus on the story and was entirely interested in the lines of Touya’s focused features and glow of his eyes scanning the page. He buried his forehead into Touya’s sleeve and spoke softly, unconcerned of whether or not he was heard.

“I love you, Touya.”

Without missing a beat, a hand ruffled his hair and the words of the book melted into nothingness as Touya answered in a voice dripping with affection. “I love you too, Keigo.”

And he continued reading, both exactly where they planned to be for the rest of their lives.

Side by side.