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Cas groaned in pain, the colour draining quickly from his face. His skin was usually a shade or two darker than Deans. However, while his hand gently caressed the fallen angel's cheek, Dean couldn't help but notice just how Grey his pallor was. Dean's eyes scanned the angel's face. Blue eyes– Achingly blue eyes – stared back at him. Tears fell from those eyes, tears that matched Deans.
The spell, one that Rowena had shuddered when she heard, was designed to destroy what someone loved. Inflict the worst pain possible on their minds and bodies before killing them as its only mercy. When the witch screamed the dead language that housed the spell a red light had sprung from her hand. It struck Dean. Mary moved immediately to support Sam, expecting, as Rowena and Sam himself had, that he’d soon collapse into a withering being of pain. Instead, Castiel took a knee behind them. His slightly more durable body preventing the dramatics.
Dean had rushed to his side, unable to prevent himself from crying out. Feeling as if his heart was being ripped from his body. He barely noticed Rowena digging through her purse, pulling out all kinds of witch whatnots and spreading them in front of her. Pulling the angel to his lap he silently prayed to him, a habit he’d developed a long, long time ago. A habit Cas had the manners not to bring up even when Dean prayed for him in the most literal sense. Maybe it was all in his head, but Dean saw acknowledgment in Castiel's eyes. He could hear him. Still, it didn’t feel real. One of the many cruxs of humanity, you could think it all you wanted but if you never said it out loud…did it really happen?
“I love you.” He whispered quietly, voice cracking and throat burning with tears. Behind him the others just watched. Struck dumb by the scene in front of them.
“Castiel,” Dean sobbed, “Castiel please– please –don’t leave me!” The usual growl was gone from his voice, replaced by a whine. Any other day, any other person, Dean would have called himself pathetic. Weak. Small. Reduced to snot and sob's by an angel in a trench coat.
Except now that angel had closed his eyes, no longer shaking in Dean's arms. He was still as a stone. Dean could have sworn he was already cold.
Rowena’s chant had ceased. Pale blue light enveloped the couple in the middle of the room. Without warning Castiel’s eyes shot open. He drew a deep breath of air and coughed up a word,
“Dean.”
Clutching his angel to his chest Dean couldn’t understand why he was still sobbing. Burying his tears into Castiel's neck. Rowena muttered about favours and debts but no one heard it.
…
“Wanna talk about it?” Sam asked as they drove. It was dark out now. A few hours past sundown. Castiel was passed out, exhausted from the day's events, in the back seat. Looks like they’d finally found something that could knock the angel out.
“No.” Dean responded sharply.
“...it’s okay you know. Mom doesn’t care eith–”
“Dude, stop–just.” He turned briefly to sight Castiel, “Let me talk to him about it first yeah?”
Sam nodded, suppressing a smirk. If the way Castiel had clutched onto Dean as he helped him back to the Impala had meant anything, Dean's talk with Castiel would bring nothing but good news.
“You love him?” Sam asked as if he hadn’t witnessed proof of that.
Dean cleared his throat and kept his eyes locked on the road. The man was made so blatantly uncomfortable by the topic it was almost funny.
“He’s–,” Dean cut himself off, “Cas is–” He stuttered again.
A more eloquent Dean still could never put into words how he felt about the angel. A more emotionally available Dean might not have needed a spell to force the topic.
“I get it.” Sam afforded him the small kindness of interrupting the man's stuttering. “Can I just ask one thing?”
Dean groaned at the stubbornness of his brother, “Fine. What?”
“How long have you been into him?”
Dean thought. Attempting to start his sentence twice before committing, “When Lucifer possessed him, and you–I know what you meant but–when you said we should give up on him-”
“I didn’t–” Sam protested.
“Sam.” Dean shut him down, “When you said that I realized that I’d do anything–fucking anything–to get him back. I mean, I’d do anything to get you back too, but this was different. He’s just, he can be shortsighted, kinda stupid sometimes, and damnit sometimes I just don’t understand him but Sammy... he’s fucking perfect.”
Sam was quiet. Too quiet honestly. It was just starting to get under Deans skin when Sam finally piped up again.
“If I told you ten years ago that you’d be losing your mind over a guy like him…”
“I’d get you an exorcism.” Dean laughed, “Hell–I thought I needed one at first. Got those fucking butterflies,” He waved his hand over his chest, “whenever he’d show up like some school girl.”
“You had a crush!” Sam said in a sing-song voice. Openly mocking his brother about the angel nose-whistle snoring along in the backseat.
Dean chuckled, “Did you seriously not notice?”
“Nope! Completely oblivious.”
“God, I thought I was so obvious.” Dean checked the rearview, making sure Cas was still asleep, “I took him out once- after a hunt, you’d headed back to the bunker but we went for a beer. I-uh-taught him how to dance a bit and you should have seen how he laughed. Fuck man- I didn’t think I could fall for him harder than I already had.”
Sam dropped his voice a few octaves, “...Dean and I do share a more profound bond…” He quoted the angel.
The boys laughed until they heard Castiel snort in the back seat. He shifted but didn’t appear to wake. Sam struggled to suppress his laugh, turning so red he must have been suffocating. Dean smacked him in the shoulder.
“Don’t you dare wake him up!” He whisper shouted at his brother.
“Oh yeah?” Sam whispered back, “Wouldn’t you rather you get to nurse him back to full strength?”
Dean's eyes glinted in the dim light. A devious glimmer in his irises. Sam saw the moment his brother decided to play the long con.
“Hey, Cas!” He shouted, reaching back to knock on the angel's knee. Sam laughed harder than he had in a long time watching the confused angel wake like a bear in the backseat. Cas sputtered a few indecipherable words-maybe Enochian-maybe half asleep gibberish-but locked his eyes on Dean.
"Dean. Hello." Such a strange way to greet the man who'd just confessed their love to you. But Cas has always been a strange guy.
Sam ignored the fact that he hardly existed to the angel in that moment, instead he pretended not to notice the rosy blush that covered the angels cheeks.
Dean was sure gonna enjoy playing nurse.