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Essek awakes. They don’t move. There is weight on them, which is usually the cats, but lately they’ve been waking up with odd objects balanced on their body. First a book, then a muffin, then more books, then a bottle of ink. After that, they’d learned to be still upon awakening from sleep.
Essek likes sleeping. They like the trust it implies, and the gentle nothingness it provides. It was rare for them in the Dynasty, once in a blue moon when they felt under the weather or especially sad. The heavy unconsciousness was weird and uncomfortable for one so full of paranoia, as they had been. While trancing, at least they would be aware of any noise or movements and have time to react. But while sleeping? Caleb described them as a brick wall.
The book and the muffin had been unintentional, they thought, products of their bedmates’ sleepy absent-mindedness. But the stack of seven books had to be intentional. And the teacups… he’d cast a panicked hover on everything in the room as the dozens of precariously balanced china pieces had tumbled from his stomach, knees, and forehead.
“You should have seen your face!” Jester had cackled, kicking her legs as her chair bobbed and spun in midair. The rest of the Nein was wheezing, and even Caduceus wore a wide grin. Caleb opened his hands, showing the components he’d had prepared for saving the china cascade from smashing. Essek had looked around at their mirthful faces and sighed. They really couldn’t stay mad at these fools for long.
Cracking an eyelid open, Essek slowly looks down towards their body. Warm sunlight peeks through the curtains of the room in the Lavish Chateau. The soft duvet is getting a little too warm across their legs, and Essek gives a soft huff as they see what has been placed upon them.
A pile of doughnuts.
Light.
“Jester…” they groan, and hear a muffled giggle from the other side of the door.
The pastries are piled half a dozen high along their side and hips, forming a sticky-sweet mountain range. There are even some stacked on their arms and wrists, so they can’t cast mage hand. There is just no good way to move them.
Essek contemplates options, but it isn’t looking good and their nose is starting to tickle. They turn over, gently tumbling the sweets onto the covers and silently apologizing to whoever will have to wash it. Standing up, they see one stripe of a small blue face peeking through the door. Essek sighs.
“Come in, Jes- J- ahh- tsu!” they sneeze.
“Oh my gosh, your sneeze is so cute!! Just like a little kitten.” Jester gushes, grabbing their face, wiping some frosting off their cheek and licking it from her fingers.
“You are ridiculous, you know that?” Essek complains, fondly. Their best friend and partner in mischief grins back, sweet as an angel.
“You know you love me,” she says.
They lean in to give their metamour a kiss on the cheek. “Yes, I do.” She wiggles happily and curls her tail around their legs.
“So are you going to eat these doughnuts or wh- hhh- tsu! TSU!” Essek sneezes rapidly. There is a cloud of glitter in the air. They look down at their hands, which are pink and sparkling. A mirror check reveals multi-colored glitter through every inch of their hair, as well as the smushed remains of a few stray marshmallows. A warm honey chuckle wafts in from the doorway, and Caleb pokes his head in, ginger hair perfectly brushed and shining.
“Are you kidding me?” Everyone else is ready for their outing today, and they currently have a marshmallow glitter mohawk.
“That’s a good look,” Caleb says. “Maybe you should keep it.”
Essek sniffs disdainfully and waves their hands in prestidigitation. The marshmallow disappears and their hair returns to its natural soft wave. The glitter, however, is still there. They frown, and cast again. Glitter sheds from them like a sparkling rain, floating gently towards the floor.
Then it reverses, drawn back to them like metal shavings to a magnet. They brush at it, sending poofs of glitter outwards that quickly return, like a static cling.
“Did it work?” asks a young voice from the hallway.
“Shhh!” Veth admonishes.
Essek turns a baffled face to Jester and Caleb, who are grinning ear to ear. “What is this? Why can’t I- ahh-TSU! Ts-ts-tsu!” Glitter poofs up in clouds, sending them into a fit of sneezes, one after the other. Caleb and Jester are laughing helplessly now, collapsing on the bed with their arms around each other. Essek can barely see through watery eyes as Veth comes in, little Luc her shadow.
They gasp for breath, trying not to breathe glitter in through their nose again. The sparkles settle back on their body, painting it every hue of the rainbow. Taking a careful breath, Essek rounds on Veth, fuming.
“I suppose you had a hand in this concoction. What in Exandria did you put in this stuff?”
She grins, no longer a sharp-toothed goblin, but looking a little feral all the same. “Trade secret, buddy!”
Essek sighs and buries their face in their hands. “I can’t go out like this. I look ridiculous.”
“Like a unicorn farted!” shouts Luc.
“You look gorgeous, Essek,” says Jester, around the doughnut she’s cramming into her mouth.
“It is rather becoming,” adds Caleb, who has frosting from the bed in his hair now. It shouldn’t make Essek feel better, but it does, just a little.
Essek rolls their eyes, sneezes twice, and tries casting disguise self. Their skin changes to the rich brown of a sun elf, but it’s still covered in glitter. They groan, exasperated.
“It’s okay, you don’t even have to wear your disguise!” Jester giggles. “No one would expect the shadowhand to look like unicorn farts!”
“How long until it wears off?” Essek asks Veth, pulling out a handkerchief.
“A day…” she says slyly, “if I made it right. It’s still under development.”
“Now you’re experimenting -tsu- on me without my -ah-tsu- permission?!” Essek sniffles, eyes watering from sneezes.
Caleb stands up and takes their hands, blue eyes serious, “Liebling, I didn’t mean to cross your boundaries. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s- well…” Essek stops, remembering to check in with their feelings before saying everything is fine. The stacking is harmless, and they trust their partners not to do anything that would truly cause a problem, but it is a little uncomfortable being subjected to a magical effect they had no control over. Especially when they can barely speak between sneezes.
“I -atsu- think I’m -atsu- allergic to this stuff,” Essek gasps out.
“Oh.” Caleb looks down at his other partner. “Veth?”
“I can’t remove it. I haven’t figured that part out yet!” She says, looking a little worried. “Maybe there’s something in here I can try…” she reaches for her alchemist’s kit.
“No thanks!” Essek yelps.
“Hey,” comes a low voice at the door. Caduceus’ pink hair swims into view as Essek starts another sneezing fit. “Are you guys coming- aww, that’s nice,” he says, admiring Essek’s coruscating pastel glory.
“Caduceus! Can you help Essek stop sneezing? He’s allergic to being sparkly!” Jester grabs his hand and drags him in the room. Cad’s gentle velvet hands inspect their body, finding raised hives along their neck and stomach.
“Oh. Huh. Hm… I suppose… that could be considered a poison, perhaps… ah, no, I don’t think I prepared that spell today. I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t either. Oh no…” Jester sounds sad. She didn’t mean her little joke to hurt her friend. Essek wants to reassure her, but they are starting to feel a little panicked as they struggle to catch their breath.
Jester pokes her head out the door and yells for her other boyfriend, “FJORD!!! COME HELP ESSEK, HE’S DYING!!!”
“I’m not- atsu- dying- atsu-” Essek sneezes harder. It feels like they’re about to blow their brains out their nose.
“Ah fuck, Jester, that was right in my ear!” Beauregard complains. “He just left to tell the crew we’ll be a bit late.”
“We need him right now! Essek is allergic to sparkles.”
“Essek is- ha! Oh my god-” Beau looks at them and starts laughing. “You look like a rainbow took a shit on you.”
“Beau, please,” says Caleb. “You’re fast. Get Fjord.”
“Alright, alright.” She takes off sprinting down the stairs. “Fjord! Get your ass back in here!”
Yasha ducks in. “May I carry you?” She asks. Essek nods, trying to draw air through their closing throat. She scoops them up like a child and squeezes carefully through the door frame. Their sneezes shake their entire body, but the pressure of being held against Yasha’s chest is comforting. Essek tries to suck in deeper breaths as they go down the stairs, ignoring the stares of the few guests having a late brunch. They’re starting to feel dizzy from the lack of air, and are glad to be carried.
Yasha steps outside, and Essek winces as the morning light causes them to sneeze an extra time. Beau and Fjord are running up the street, drawing looks from every direction. There is a green flash, and Fjord appears next to them, breathing hard.
“I’m here.” He places a damp, calloused hand on Essek’s forehead and closes his eyes, concentrating. Essek feels a warmth rush through them and inhales a deep breath of fresh sea air. Their nose no longer tickles. They look up into Fjord’s golden irises.
“Thanks.”
“Any time,” Fjord replies.
Essek takes a few more deep breaths to steady themself, then asks Yasha to put them down. The rest of the Nein rushes up.
“Essek, are you okayyy?” Jester asks.
“Yes. I am now.” They look at their torso. The glitter is still there, but when they brush it with their hands it drifts to the ground.
She wraps her arms around them. “I am so, so sorry, I didn’t know you would be allergic to it!”
“I didn’t know either.” Essek sighs. “Jester- I love you. I love your pranks. But next time maybe don’t put a new magical concoction on me without asking first.”
“I won’t Essek, I promise.”
Essek turns to stare down Veth. She shuffles for a moment, then says, “Yeah, I promise too.”
“It won’t happen again,” says Caleb, pressing a kiss to Essek’s cheek and wrapping an arm around their bare shoulders. Essek shivers as the cool sea breeze wafts up the lane.
“Well. You are all ready to go, but I am still in my pajamas.” Gathering the shreds of their dignity, Essek turns and walks back into the Lavish Chateau, Caleb and a dusting of sparkles trailing behind.