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"Cameron?"
The sound of his own name made him wince. He was hoping that when he had shut the door, that Kirsten would have just walked away and left it alone. But no such luck.
Why did he have to leave that stupid door open? Why couldn't he have remembered to just shut it? Things had been going so well for them today and now, now he had ruined it. He had kept another secret, pushed her away, broken her trust.
He leaned his body against the door and let out a heavy sigh. It was too late, there was no going back now, she had already seen it, his scar. The source of years worth of insecurities.
The kind of scar that when he went swimming as kid sent little girls crying to their mother at the sight of it. He learned that day to always wear a shirt if he wanted to swim. It wasn't all that different when he got older, girls were no longer really afraid upon seeing his scar, but were instead... repulsed. He couldn't blame them, it was raised, red, jagged and ran down half his chest. What did he expect?
But Kirsten, she hadn't looked at him like that.
But it was more than just the look of his scar though, that fed his insecurities. It was also that when people saw it, and knew what it was from, they suddenly saw him as fragile, weak, and incapable. He didn't want Kirsten thinking of him like that, like he couldn't do his job, couldn't keep her safe. He knew he was the furthest thing from being the toughest guy or the strongest, but he wasn't damaged or broken either. He didn't want that kind of pity.
He couldn't quite figure out what she was thinking when she saw it. Confusion seemed to be the dominant emotion more than anything, but there was something else under it, something he couldn't quite place.
After a long pause of silence, he finally spoke up. "Kirsten... I'm sorry, I just... I can't."
"Please Cameron, just... let me in." The tone in her voice surprised him. It wasn't her usual tone that always seemed to hold an edge or a bit of snark with it. There was something surprisingly soft about it which he couldn't ignore.
Giving a heavy sigh, he reluctantly agreed. Slowly he slid open the door and walked back over to his dresser, but said nothing. He couldn't bring himself to look at her, he was afraid of what he might see in her eyes if he did. She shut the door behind her and followed him, but also said nothing, just stared at him still.
Not able to take it anymore, he finally turned and looked at her, and when he did, she did something he hadn't expected. She took a step toward him and reached her hand out slowly to touch the scar on his chest.
Caught off guard, he instinctively stepped back. What was she doing? Woman could barely stand the sight of it and the last thing they ever wanted to do was touch it. Maybe it was something to do with stitching. Whenever she wanted to understand something better in a stitch, she tried touching it. Was this her way of trying to process? He didn't know what to think.
They then just stared at each other for a moment, searching for some kind of answer in the others eyes. What he found in hers, was a look that asked him to trust her. Despite the fear of rejection that gnawed at him, his trust in her was stronger, and so he let her try again.
Once more she outstretched her hand towards him. But this time he didn't move, he swallowed hard, allowed her to come closer and braced himself.
He was sure she'd draw her hand back as soon as it made contact with his skin, but she didn't. She ran her fingers tenderly down the scar, tracing it slowly from the top to the bottom. There was something, soothing about it and he closed his eyes to soak in her gentle touch.
When Cameron finally reopened them, he found her staring at him thoughtfully.
"We... We all have our scars. Some physical, some emotional. But... they don't have to define us, unless we let them." And with that, Kirsten turned around, slid his door back open and exited the room.
He stared blankly at the spot she had been previously standing. A smile then tugged at the corner of his lips. She had been trying to comfort him in her own way, and let him know she didn't see him any differently then she did before.
Cameron then touched his scar once more and for the first time in his whole life, his scar didn't feel like it held such a heavy weight anymore.