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The cool blue around me would have been a comfort on any other day. I’ve spent countless nights on vessels like this across the Carthegean Sea, reveling in the serenity of being surrounded by nothing but water.
Today, on the seventh day of this ship’s long journey, all I can focus on are the waves crashing around us. Their unpredictability, their force - they only fuel the frenzy inside my mind.
A screech roars high above me and a moment later, Callow’s weight settles on my shoulder. I rub my cheek against hers, knowing she’s just as uneasy out here as I am today. Usually, I appreciate my kestrel’s ability to share most of my emotions, our bond stronger than ever after so many decades together. But right now, I wish she could give me the strength to face the next 24 hours.
“It’s not too late to change our minds,” I tell Callow. She cocks her head to the side, looking at me like I’ve lost my mind.
I sigh, leaning against the rail and letting the wind dance in my messy hair. Maybe she’s not entirely wrong.
“As soon as we reach the port, we could travel north instead,” I continue my thoughts, inhaling the salty air. “Chaos might appreciate visiting his homeland.”
I look up into the sky, trying and failing to spot my steed. I can’t let him rot below deck for a full week, locked in a cage. Thankfully, the crew took a liking to him and allowed me to let him roam free throughout the day. He always finds his way back to us after an hour or two, no matter how far he goes.
Despite my apprehension affecting her, Callow seems to take offense to my doubts. She hops from my shoulder onto the railing, in between my hands, and looks at me again. A silent challenge.
“I know,” I mumble. “I need to go. I want to go. I’m just...scared.”
The truth of that admission hits me with the same force as the waves attacking our ship below. I’m terrified of a plethora of uncertainties. An overwhelming majority of them exist because of her .
It’s been years since I’ve thought about her as much as I have been since I received that invitation. I’ve gotten used to my mind wandering to my distant memories of her on occasion. It’s one of the few certainties of my new life.
For far too long, those thoughts had a bitter aftertaste, especially in the beginning. Her beautiful face plagued my dreams and nightmares alike for decades. Hurt, guilt, love, shame, longing - I didn’t know what to make of any of those conflicting feelings.
But then, slowly, something changed.
I can’t pinpoint what or when exactly it occurred, but one day I woke up and realized I’d made peace with the past. I won’t be foolish enough to try and forget that part of me again. I carry my past suffering and mistakes with me everywhere I go, not with pride but with a certain appreciation. I wouldn’t be here today, happy and accomplished, without my past.
And that past includes her , the final piece of myself that I need to confront and embrace.
“No matter the outcome, we’ll be okay,” I tell Callow, at last. “If we can survive two centuries worth of trouble, I can most certainly survive a reunion with the love of my life.”
After a week crammed onto some ship with a group of kind but loud men, spreading my wings feels like a rebirth. I race Chaos across the skies, Callow barely able to keep up, one destination in mind.
The landscape hurries past us in a blur, the former Fae lands prosperous and colorful as ever. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in this part of the world, but there is an undeniable pull beckoning me towards my former home.
Given my impeccable planning, I arrive at the outskirts of Briar on the day of the anniversary. I can see the gates, catch glimpses of the mighty palace in the distance. They must have rebuilt it during the 100 years I’ve been gone. I assume it won’t be the only change the Briar Court has implemented. With a start, I realize I’m excited to discover them all, having long accepted that the Dark Court is no more.
Chaos and Callow soar right past me as I halt mid-air, a hesitation sinking deep into my bones that I don’t understand. My heart threatens to break out of my ribcage and it has nothing to do with the exhaustion of our travel days.
My companions circle back around to me eventually, waiting for me to make up my mind. I land right outside the gates, consciously ignoring the urge to visit a specific spot near the Crimson Cliffs. Not today.
“Go ahead to the stables,” I tell Chaos. “They’ll recognize you. I’ll catch up.”
The second my feet touch the ground, I Shift. My bones ache in protest after forcing them to hold me afloat for so long. But my magic obeys as it always does, altering my face and hair until I look like what I hope is similar to a young Mistress Lavender. I don’t know why my mind went to her first, but this disguise will do. No one here would even recognize her, her memory long forgotten by the world. I try not to feel too pleased by that thought.
Walking through Briar is like wandering through a dream. How many times had I pictured what this place could look like in a time of peace and prosperity? I must have lost count, giving up on that hope so long ago.
Now, I no longer have to guess. The realm has exceeded all expectations in every way.
Busy markets everywhere, the flora and fauna recovered and forever changed, troves of people and creatures alike hurrying through the streets of the former Common District. There is a familiar urgency to their step, decorations in every color of the rainbow carefully placed on buildings and street lamps. This place is preparing for a big celebration.
It all reminds me of my travels through different lands and cultures. Without the looming threat of tyrant kings and wars, there is beauty in the hustle of the people. They don’t have to worry about anything other than preparing for a party today. I couldn’t have pictured this much joy in Briar in my wildest dreams.
I could spend hours upon hours exploring the reborn districts, but the invisible pull makes itself known as I gaze up towards the palace again. It looks the same and yet so different. They restored any destroyed structures, finding a balanced compromise between sophisticated decorations and remnants of the Dark Court. It’s the best of both worlds after such a long struggle.
I don’t regret not visiting sooner, but part of me would have liked to see my home transform in real time. Maybe even have a say in those changes. It’s an unwelcome thought, so I push it away as soon as it forms.
Unlike before, the main gates to the palace are wide open. There are four Demon guards nodding at me in greeting and they don’t protest as I pass and ascend the steps. I wonder if that is only policy on special occasions like today or if the palace is always accessible to commoners. The latter seems more likely the more I think about it. I feel myself smiling.
She kept her promises.
Despite its changes, I am still able to navigate the palace without any assistance. Its main layout hasn’t been altered, after all. I forget about my appearance until a tall Fae guard blocks my way towards a hallway that I know leads to the former throne room.
“No entry past this point,” she says with a cool but not unkind voice. Her skin reminds me of oak trees I’ve seen across the sea in one of the human kingdoms. “Doors to the main halls and throne room won’t open until later tonight.”
I nod, swallowing my embarrassment at having forgotten my disguise.
“I understand,” I reply. “I apologize.”
As soon as I’m out of her sight, I Shift into invisibility. I have to be careful not to let any of the Imps crash into me along the way. They’re balls of energy today, singing songs about the big anniversary and punching each other whenever someone comes up with a better verse.
I don’t stop at the empty throne room, continuing my way through the labyrinth of hallways. The more creatures I pass, the more anxious I get. Familiar faces here and there, voices I recognize after all this time. It’s overwhelming.
I pause. Before I do anything else in here, before I can talk to any of my allies and friends and her , I need to be able to take a deep breath. And there’s only one place where I know I can do that in peace.
Part of me was convinced the library would be fully restored after all this time. I inflicted so much damage on this special wing of the palace, destroying walls and pillars and shelves in some of my darkest moments.
To my surprise, I discover I’m only partially correct. There are countless shelves in pristine condition, books lining every corner of this huge main hall. Broken glass and lamps have been replaced by flawless upgraded items. It’s clean, smells nice, and yet hasn’t lost its original charm.
But despite its near-perfect condition, there is still a gaping hole in one of the walls.
My heart nearly drops out of my body when I spot a silhouette standing in its center. She’s gazing out towards the bay. I’d recognize her anywhere, even after a hundred years.
I’m rooted to the spot, unable to leave or say something or take my eyes off her. She’s wearing a simple burgundy dress, unlike anything I’ve ever seen her wear. I noticed the same fashion changes in the Common District earlier but didn’t give it much thought. Her golden hair is shorter than I remember it being and I’m shocked at how much it suits her.
Heat pools into every fiber of my being.
“Can I help you?”
She must have sensed my presence and staring, turning around. She’s looking at me for the first time in a century and I feel my very soul leaving my body for a moment.
Part of me had been terrified of her somehow still showing signs of aging, but her face is unchanged. If anything, her flawless skin seems even more radiant than my memories led me to believe. The Fae magic in her blood had done its job.
“I asked you a simple question,” she insists, oozing the authority of the queen she never got to be. “I thought I had given the guards clear instruction.”
Unfortunately, my voice won’t work. Aurora - the real Aurora and not a dream version of her - regards me with a curious gaze. The longer she looks at me and the silence drags on, the more I’m convinced she’ll call for her guards any second. I can see her mind racing, her sparkling eyes taking me in. I hold my breath, not daring to move a muscle.
But then–
A small smile forms on her lips, growing by the second. She closes her eyes for a moment, takes a deep breath, and fixes me again.
“Took you long enough.”
I can’t describe the wave of emotions I’m experiencing in words. It’s overwhelming. I want to run to her, touch her and smell the scent I’ve been missing for so long. But all I can do is sink to my knees and finally let my Shift drift away. I can hear a small gasp, but my vision is too blurry to make out the expression on her face.
“Alyce,” Aurora whispers.
She’d recognized me and yet she sounds like she can’t believe we’re in the same room together.
I feel the same way.
Before I know it, that powerful apple blossom scent washes over me after all, clouding my senses even more. I blink up at her outstretched hand, tears freely running down my cheeks. The ring on her finger, her leader token, shines in the light of the lamps around us.
My hand shakes just as much as hers when I finally accept the gesture. My skin hasn’t tingled like that in a very long time. Her touch is as intoxicating as it was two centuries ago.
Being this close to her, holding her hand between us, is what finally shakes me out of my stupor.
“I came home,” are the glorious first words my brain supplies. “As per your request.”
Her amethyst eyes roam my face. Up close, I note how the flecks of gold and green still swirl inside them.
“I can see that,” she says slowly. She hesitates. “I...wasn’t sure you would.”
“Neither was I.”
The admission hangs heavy in the air between us, her hand finally dropping mine.
“I’m sorry,” I find myself saying. “I didn’t think you would be here and I had a speech prepared but, truthfully, I cannot remember a single thing now. Just — “ my fingers twitch towards her again but I stop myself. “I’ve missed you?”
There is so much to say, so much to discuss, and yet that simple truth is the only thing I’m certain of. I curse every God I’ve heard of over the past century for ruining the purpose of this entire journey within seconds.
Her eyes carry a glint of amusement, as she raises an eyebrow.
“If you came here fearing rejection,” she muses, “why do you suppose I sent that note to you, Alyce?”
She’s teasing me and something about that makes my mind less foggy.
“I’ve been asking myself that question for about two weeks.”
Aurora nods, biting her lip. I realize that under all that apparent confidence and calmness lies an insecurity I’m not used to seeing her wear.
“And did you reach a sensible conclusion?”
What’s the point in vague admissions and awkward avoidance? I’ve waited too long to get to this point to waste both our time.
“I came regardless of any fears because I know who I am now,” I declare, the answer revealing itself to me as I’m speaking. I never needed a prepared speech for her.
Aurora smiles softly. “And who would that be?”
“I’m Alyce.” I can’t help but smile back. “Just Alyce.”
The look on her face can only be described as admiration. I haven’t felt this level of pride in my entire life. Her approval, her understanding - that alone was worth the journey back here.
“Well, Just Alyce,” she says with a grin. “I’ve been waiting two centuries to meet you. Welcome home.”
It’s impossible to tell which of us leans forward first. Her arms wrap around my shoulders and I bury my face in the crook of her neck, holding on for dear life. Starved of the other’s touch for decades, I savor every second of being able to just hold her in my arms.