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Dedue had never intended to let himself become any more than a vassal, no matter what his own feelings might be. He’d lost track over the years of the number of times Dimitri had insisted he call him by his name, rather than a title, but Dedue refrained. It was best for them both that a distance remained between them. He wouldn’t have his highness's reputation tainted because of his presence. The prince deserved friends who were far more worthy of him then Dedue could ever be.
Before their time at the monastery it had always seemed like the right choice, but it quickly became clear that most saw things very differently. Most of his classmates saw nothing wrong with having a man of Duscar among them. They insisted on being his friend, no matter how many times he tried to warn them and he didn’t have the heart to reject them outright. Even the few that disliked him, be it for his devotion or his heritage, kept that opinion mostly to themselves around the prince. So even if they did not approve, they did not outright condone it either.
Still, Dedue did his best to maintain his distance.
The atmosphere of the monastery was certainly good for his highness. Dimitri was more open than Dedue had seen him in some time. Without the pressure of his rank that had weighed so heavily on him in the capital, Dimitri could let himself relax a bit. Most everyone here treated him as an equal, even Dedue had loosened up somewhat, but he never let himself use anything but the formal titles.
Though in addition to the lightness their time at the monastery had brought the prince, it was clear other things were weighing on his shoulders as well. Dimirti was older now. He no longer had the optimism of childhood to lessen the weight of his shoulders. The death of his family, the tragedy of Duscar, and the knowledge that the throne would soon be his grew heavier and heavier by the day.
It was clear that Dimitri had slept little in the past few days, yet here he was at an ungodly hour reading in the library. That had become an all too frequent habit in the past couple of months. Dimitri would study in the library night after night until he was practically dead on his feet. Only then would he go back to his room and fall into something closer to a coma than proper sleep. Even then he’d yet to sleep through the night, always disturbed by something.
“You should get some rest, your highness.”
Rather than the usual excuse that he wasn’t tired, he was given a different answer entirely. Dimitri sighed, pressing his palm over his eyes. “And spend another sleepless night listening to their voices? As they beg for me to avenge them? Perhaps if I finally pass out from exhaustion, I’ll be able to sleep soundly.”
Dedue frowned, considering his words. That would not do. This would be his highness’ third night without sleep and even with youth on his side, these late nights were going to start taking a toll on his health.
Dimitri looked up at Dedue when he gave no response, giving him a forced smile that no one would ever believe. “You should get some rest yourself, Dedue. No need for us both to suffer.” When that too got no reply, he returned his attention to the book before him.
It was several long moments before Dedue spoke. “Please come to bed, Dimitri.”
The blonde looked up at him with wide eyes. He couldn’t recall the last time he had heard his name spoken by Dedue. The only memories he could recall were from long ago.
Dedue continued before Dimitri had a chance to speak. “Let me stay by your side, like when we were children. If that gives you no reprieve, then I shall search for a better method.” Certainly, the church library would have something or perhaps Manuela would know of a remedy.
As children, Dedue had spent the night by Dimitri’s side on several occasions. Most often during storms, when the young prince couldn’t fall asleep. He had always drifted asleep quickly with Dedue by his side, perhaps now it could be the same.
“We’ll have to sleep on the floor, but I guess I can give it a try. On one condition.” The smile he wore now as genuine.
“Yes, your highness?”
“Call me by my name again?”
“Once we have settled in for the night.” Dedue wanted to capture that smile in his memory forever.
It was a rather tight fit, even on the floor, but neither of them minded. They’d laid out several blankets on the floor and now they lay above them, face to face, other blankets over top. Dimitri was still smiling, though a bit less boldly. “Thank you for trying this.”
“Of course, your highness.”
Dimitri’s smile turned to a slight frown at that. Dedue couldn’t help but laugh lightly. It’d been so long since he’d seen that pouting face. “I did not forget our agreement.”
“Oh?”
Dedue sat up to blow out the last candle, before settling back into bed. He could just make out the shape of Dimitri’s face across from him. “Good night, Dimitri.”
“Good night, Dedue.” No doubt his smile was back.
No sooner than Dimitri closed his eyes, he was asleep.
Dedue smiled then too. Perhaps, distance was no longer what was best for the prince. If lessening that gap would do Dimitri good, he was quite willing to do so. And if it aligned with his own wants? All the better.