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“Dazai,” comes an unforgettable voice as soon as he answers the phone.
“Kouyou-san! To what do I owe the pleasure?”
Atsushi gives him a careful look, the right amount of curiosity showing from his spot in his chair. They’re the only two in the agency office, it’s a busy day.
“I need you to pick up Chuuya-kun.”
If she didn’t have his attention earlier, she definitely does now. His mind begins to race with the possibilities. Is he hurt? Is he drunk? He stays silent and waits for her to go on.
“I’ll send you the address.”
He mentally notes that it’s not a question. He checks his texts. It’s an… orthodontist office? Dazai immediately begins to grin so wide it hurts. This is going to be good.
“I’m in Europe for a mission so I sent Akutagawa-kun but Chuuya-kun is refusing to go anywhere with anyone unless it’s you.” Kouyou sounds tired, but he doesn’t miss the fond undertone.
“I’ll be there soon,” says Dazai.
“Try anything funny and I will destroy you and everything you love.” Dazai audibly gulps. She hangs up before he can reply.
“Okay Atsushi-kun! We’re going on a field trip,” he says brightly, walking out the door.
“What? Dazai-san if this is another scheme to miss work I swear-”
“It’s not. I have to go pick up a slug.”
Atsushi doesn’t even question it. He just sighs.
—
The two agency members walk into the orthodontist office calmly where one (1) high as a kite redhead and one (1) unamused mafioso sit. Akutagawa practically collapses in relief when he spots Dazai. He's glaring at Atsushi when Chuuya sees Dazai. His entire face brightens.
“Osamu!”
Dazai melts.
He sits down next to his shorter half and the latter’s head falls onto his shoulder like he’s been doing it all his life (he kind of has).
“Chuuya. Does your mouth hurt?” he asks with a teasing tone.
Chuuya looks at him with confusion.
“Why would my mouf hurt?”
He looks so small in this state, Dazai just wants to pick him up and put him in his pocket. Akutagawa clears his throat from where he’s standing next to Atsushi.
“He got his wisdom teeth removed.”
Dazai expected this of course.
“You two are free to leave now. You can stick around if you want,” replies Dazai, still looking at his chibi.
Akutagawa looks at Atsushi as if to ask, “What do you think?”
“Okay. We’ll leave,” says Atsushi.
“Alright chibi, it’s time to head out. Are you ready?” he asks.
He stands up, Chuuya doing the same. He stumbles immediately and Dazai has to catch him. He sighs.
“So much work,” he whines as he gently lifts Chuuya into his arms, carrying him bridal style out the door. He sets him carefully onto the passenger seat, and drives off.
—
They reach Dazai’s apartment where he carries Chuuya in. He lays him on his bed. His heart rate spikes an alarming amount when Chuuya starts sobbing. He’s at his side in half a second.
“What’s wrong?”
“I feel like I’m being mean,” he sobs.
Dazai relaxes. “You’re not being mean,” he assures. The whole ride home, the only thing Chuuya talked about was vegan chicken nuggets.
“I’m sorry, I don’t want to be mean,” says Chuuya, tears leaking out of his eyes.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay. Don’t cry. You’re not being mean,” says Dazai, wiping the tears from his cheeks. This is such an absurd situation. Of all the things Chuuya could be crying about, Dazai would never guess it’s about being mean. Chuuya Nakahara, worried about offending him? He wants to laugh at the thought.
“It’s not okay. If I’m mean you’ll leave again, don’t leave me again,” whispers Chuuya.
The urge to laugh evaporates at once.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m the one who was mean, not you. I won’t leave you. Never again. I promise. Okay Chuuya? So you can stop crying now,” says Dazai, letting all the sincerity slip into it even though Chuuya’s probably not going to remember any of this.
Chuuya nods. He falls asleep within a minute.
—
Chuuya wakes up feeling dizzy and pain. His mouth is so sore. He groans softly as he turns, realizing that this isn’t his apartment. His head is much clearer.
“Dazai?” he questions, wincing. There’s no other explanation.
“Hey there sleeping beauty,” answers Dazai with a smirk. He’s sitting next to him on the bed.
Chuuya rolls his eyes and sits up slowly. He rubs his eyes and that’s when the full gravity of this situation hits him.
“…fuck.”
Dazai hands him painkillers and a glass of water which he takes and downs in record time, ignoring the discomfort and metallic taste in his mouth.
“What did I say?” asks Chuuya.
“Hmm, I don’t really remember, something about how handsome and funny and amazing I am,” teases Dazai.
Chuuya freezes. Did he really say that? Or is he messing with him? Both are equally likely, he’s heard he talks about Dazai an unbearable amount when he’s drunk.
“I’m kidding, relax.” Chuuya punches him.
“You mostly talked about vegan chicken nuggets and the logistics of Pickle Rick. Honestly Chuuya, I can’t believe you found the time to watch Rick and Morty,” says Dazai.
“Shut the fuck up. Ryuu made me,” says Chuuya.
Dazai bursts out laughing. “You’re kidding me. Akutagawa watches Rick and Morty?” Followed by an afterthought. Of course Chuuya has nicknames for his coworkers. He’s always been close with them, much more in tune with their lives than Dazai could dream of being. He’s gotten better though.
A short moment of silence passes between them. There’s so much to say.
“Is that really all I said?” asks Chuuya.
Dazai thinks about lying. He doesn’t want to talk about his feelings, that’s gross. But he owes it to Chuuya.
“No. You refused to leave the orthodontist unless I went. You thought you were being rude. To me. So you started crying. You were scared I was going to leave you again.” Dazai says all of it with none of the usual masks on his face so Chuuya knows he’s being serious. Chuuya can see through his masks anyway, but just in case.
“Oh.”
Oh? That’s all he has to say? Oh?
“What did you say?” asks Chuuya.
“I said I’m sorry, and that I suck, and I’ll never leave you again,” says Dazai, his voice barely above a whisper.
“…did you mean it?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
Chuuya suddenly feels very tired. He leans into Dazai who puts his arm around him. He closes his eyes.
“I still fucking hate you,” mutters Chuuya.
Dazai chuckles quietly.
“Rest now, Chuuya.”