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Darcy is sitting at Johnny’s kitchen table across from him. He’d rather she not be, but that’s never stopped Darcy. She insisted. Said she had something important to ask him.
He just doesn’t have the energy anymore to fight her. But Darcy seems content to wait him out for the time being. Drinking the hot chocolate she’s made, while Johnny slouches in his chair, methodically peeling the label from his beer bottle.
Johnny, he misses his life. The one he made for himself. He loves New York, but everything seems so wrong now. Too clean. Johnny thinks he understands Steve just a little bit better because of it.
Johnny hates this. Just wants to go back. But he can’t. Dooms device, the one that caused this mess in the first place, was destroyed retrieving him. It was a fluke that even sent him back.
He doesn’t understand the science. Johnny leaves that to Sue and Reed. But he knows it should be impossible. To his family, he was gone only a handful of minutes. But for Johnny, fuck, it was years.
It took him forever to give up on finding a way back to his own time. Even longer to build something for himself in 1916 when he was finally able to let it go.
And losing what he built, it breaks something inside of Johnny.
Because he met a girl and loved her. Johnny was gonna marry her too. Gotten a ring and everything. He was just waiting for the right time to ask her.
Before that Johnny never though he’d find anybody he’d want to call his girl. She wasn’t his soulmate. Couldn’t have been. He’d never had words.
Now the ring just taunts him with could have beens.
It’s been months since that battle with Doom and he’s tired. Johnny doesn’t talk about it now that he’s back in the twenty-first century. But everybody’s asked. They want to know about the ring he stares at.
He’s given up on finding out what happened to Sarah even though it’s eating at him. Records from back then aren’t the best. He should have expected it. After all, Johnny survived for three and a half years without any official documentation.
He knows Sarah probably thinks, or thought he left her, just walked out. But, Johnny hopes she knows, knew he loved her.
If he could get drunk and stay that way, he would. But Johnny’s body burns the alcohol away. He still makes the effort though. Mostly for something to do with himself. Johnny can’t see a reason to get it together. His future; everything is gone.
“Johnny, you need to pull your head out of your ass,” Darcy says gently.
Ah, apparently now its time for the get over it talk. Not that Darcy knows what he should be getting over, but Johnny’s sure she can see how fucked up he is. He looks at her with dead eyes, beginning to shred the beer’s label.
Johnny will let Darcy say her piece, then tell her to fuck off while showing her the door, best friend or not.
She goes on, “I need you with me here. Okay? I’m really fucking scared now that this is happening for real and I don’t know if I’m ready for it.”
Darcy seems to take his stony silence as permission to continue softly, “I’m finally pregnant. You know Steve and I have been trying.”
“Congratulations,” he says blandly. Honestly, Johnny would love to be excited, but he’s just to numb for it. He can tell Darcy is disappointed by his reaction.
She perseveres anyways, “Jane’s already called dibs on godmother … which might not be the best idea now that I think about it, seeing as she can barely take care of herself in Science! mode.”
“That’s nice,” Johnny says in the same even tone he’s taken to using so nobody bothers him. He sounds like fucking Coulson.
“It is. It’s wonderful. We’ve been discussing names. Steve thought Connor Jonathan for a boy or Sarah James for a girl. He’d like to name the baby after his parents and I don’t mind. They’re strong names.”
“That’s … great,” But Johnny replays that last bit in his head, “I thought his parents were Clara and Joe.”
“Uh… no. Joseph Rogers was technically his stepfather. His dad died before Sarah, his mom, even knew she was pregnant. Then she met Joe. He was her soulmate.”
Darcy frowns, “Steve says it always seemed like Sarah settled, though. They never gave the impression that they were very happy together. Steve’s mom kept it pretty quite and everybody just assumed Steve was a pre-me. He was sick often enough for it to have been true.”
She smiles a little as she goes on, “So Sarah is for his mom and James is after Bucky of course. And O’Conors was his mom’s maiden name while Jonathan was his dad’s name,” Darcy pauses, “I was hopping you’d be her godfather. Or his godfather. This kid is gonna need at least one semi competent godparent.”
And suddenly, as the pieces fall into place, everything sound so far away and Johnny feels like he’s greying out. Label bits abandoned as he grabs the table for support so he doesn’t fall from his chair.
Because Johnny thinks he’s finally figured out why the lab geeks at S.H.I.E.L.D. are so stumped by his and Steve’s DNA. After all they’ve both been irradiated: Johnny with cosmic and Steve with vita rays. S.H.I.E.L.D wouldn’t have any unenhanced samples.
And Johnny can count. It was early April 1916 when he landed in the past and late October 1919 when he left it. Steve Rogers was born July 4th 1920. Everybody knows that date.
“Darcy…” Johnny stutters, “I don’t… I don’t think I can. I think... I think I need to talk to Steve first.” He says plaintively, “Its about his mom. If she is who I think she is…”
Johnny forces out the rest, “That’s who the ring is for. I was gonna ask Sarah O’Conors to marry me before I… before I was taken again, brought back here," and before Johnny can stop himself he adds incongruously, "I think I'm gonna be a grandpa...”