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It was late at night and Callum couldn’t sleep. His thoughts invaded his mind and they weren't going to go away any time soon. He tossed and turned, staring blankly at the wall. His eyes were open, but he didn’t see anything. He could only see his thoughts. Images and voices. One voice in particular. His mind usually was on his side, but tonight? Tonight it has betrayed him.
His memory was always so good. He could see and hear everything so vividly even years after. Tonight he wished he couldn't. Seeing her, hearing her, there were times it gave him strength. Tonight was not that kind of night.
It was the deepest part of night when he decided to go outside and get some fresh air.
The moon was high above the clouds and Callum was impressed by how brightly it was shining. It was a full moon. That meant that that night a few months ago, was the night Rayla left. His mind wandered to the letter. 'I will think of you under every full moon'. It's been almost a year, he wondered if she was still thinking of him.
"You could be anywhere right now. Probably asleep, or maybe smiling or crying or hurt… that's if you're alive. I really hope you are. I hope you're okay. You'd probably think I'm being weird and call me 'dummy' for talking to... nothing really. Using the moon as a way of connecting you. Ugh I'm being a fool."
What was he thinking? Trying to talk to her. But he would be a liar if he said he hasn’t done that before.
"Do you miss me as much as I miss you? Do you even miss me at all? It's been so long…" He looked down and held his tears inside. He cried enough about her.
"I keep… I keep thinking how could you do this to me? And yet I know why. I know, my brain knows, but my heart just doesn’t get it. I guess that piece of my heart you took knows it. I know, you wanted to protect me. You didn't protect my heart, do you think it's worth it Rayla?!" He couldn’t stop the tears now. Saying her name… it moved something inside him.
"I should have known. It didn’t make sense when you agreed we'll go together so fast. But I wanted to believe in it. I guess I thought you would never lie to me. I should have known better. I shouldn't have listen to Lujanne's stupid advices. White lies… it's still a lie. And I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, but it still hurts. You have no idea how it hurts." He let out a sob. "Is that really what you felt when your parents left? I feel so bad that you did, because this is horrible. You said the pain becomes a soft ache. Over time it did, but there are times that it's not so soft. Mostly at nights, when the moon is glowing into my room, and I just can't get you out of my mind. Sometimes I really want to, but the thought of forgetting you is even worse. You became a part of me and as you said in your letter, you took a piece of my heart. And right now I need it back." The tears steamed freely down his face. He closed his eyes shut and cried. "I need you back. I miss you so much. I love you."