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Ever since he and Luz had escaped from Belos’ mind, Hunter had slowly begun to realize that nothing his uncle ever did to him was normal. At first it was through the lens of the initial paradigm shift- him being a grimwalker of someone belos once knew. He was only a pawn in his game, a tool, a means to an end. Hell, he was already planning on replacing him at the height of his career as the golden guard.
So once Hunter began to pull at all the loose ends, the full picture began to unravel.
Every time Belos would lash out, he would tell himself it was his fault. The emperor isn’t a patient man- He just had to do better. If he could do better, he wouldn’t be privy to being punished.
But he was patient.
He was patient enough to wait nearly four hundred years for his plan to unfold, patient enough to create and raise and kill Hunter’s predecessors hundreds of times over, patient enough to watch as generation after generation of witches fell for the coven system.
And everything he had told him was a lie.
There were still things that he didn’t quite understand, at least until he got to the human realm. There were quiet moments behind closed doors in the castle that he would lay awake and mull over, staring at the ceiling of the basement from the floor trying to make sense of it all. There were ways that Belos would touch him that were uncharacteristically gentle and maybe even kind. Ways that felt good. But the more he watched Luz and how she interacted with her own mother, the more deviated from the norm his uncle’s actions became in his memory. The love and affection that Camila expressed for her daughter and eventually for him felt like security- like being surrounded by a warm comforter on a cold day, while Belos’ actions made him feel as if he couldn’t breathe- like he was suffocating in mud. But it was love, wasn’t it? Even when it hurt or when it wasn’t something he wanted, he should’ve been grateful. There were even times when he liked it. He was special to him. He was special. No other witch his age got to have that kind of relationship- he remembered feeling proud of that fact as early as ten.
But he never really was, wasn’t he?
So why, why, why?
Slowly, it dawned on him that it was just another way he was used. Another way he was a piece in Belos’ puzzle.
Another way he was stupid.
He realized the extent of it all in the dead of night, and couldn’t go back to sleep. Flapjack noticed that he had a catatonic expression and nuzzled his cheek in an effort to snap him out of it, which only brought him to tears.
The next day he was dead on his feet. He blew off any concerns with a pained smile, just making up a half truth about not sleeping well and distracting himself with chores.
He thought about it again while washing dishes, and despite the soap on his gloves, he couldn't help but feel unequivocally dirty.
Luz and Amity had a relationship that was kind and gentle, but it was romantic and sweet. They didn’t have to hurt each other to make things go as they pleased.
It was so similar and yet so different .
He would feel his face and ears get warm whenever Willow- oh Titan, Willow. That witch was incredible. She was funny, strong, lovely and beautiful, so many things Hunter was not. He wanted to do things like hold her hand in the same way that Luz and Amity did with each other, but those dreams were dashed and his heart would pang every time he remembered that he couldn't. Of course he couldn’t. Nobody who had a relationship like the one he did with his uncle could possibly think of having a normal relationship with another witch. He would most likely screw something up, hurt her, or scare her off.
It was his fault anyway.
He was lost in these thoughts as he stared out the window of the car.
When Camila noticed that he had developed an interest in sewing, she offered to take him to a human place known as a “craft-store.” He figured he could use a distraction or a way out of the house, and Camila, ever observant, probably picked up that he wasn’t himself. He tried to act as normal as possible the entire way there, but he couldn’t mask the darker eyebags and the fact that his stomach was in knots.
It was quiet except for the low radio, but then Camila turned the volume down to zero and spoke.
“ Mijo , are you doing alright?”
He was shaken out of the trance that was the view from the passenger seat, his ears perking up.
“Hm? Oh, uh, I'm fine.”
“I don’t want to pry, but you’ve been acting a little off for the past few days. If there’s anything you need to talk about, I’m here to listen.”
He went quiet once more.
He hadn’t opened up much about his experiences as the golden guard- Luz knew enough from seeing what Belos was capable of in his mindscape. His scars were obvious, and he hoped that his friends thought they were from battle. But Camila was an adult. He knew she saw him flinch when she raised her hands to only gently touch his shoulder, or how he thanked her for basic needs being provided. She was kind, and Hunter, for once in his life, trusted someone older than him.
“I’ve- um… I don’t know how much you know about my past, but I… used to work under Belos. I’m- I was his nephew…”
Camila’s eyebrows raised.
“I certainly didn’t know that.”
Hunter nodded and rubbed the back of his recently cut short hair.
“I didn’t realize how evil he really was until I got closer with Luz. I had no idea about his plans for the day of unity, or- or anything, really. I was following orders and doing what I thought was right- I was on his side for a really long time…”
“Doing what’s right can be hard sometimes... It must’ve been difficult to separate yourself from family like that, but I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself.”
A small smile broke out on his face, but then quickly fell.
“It, um… Belos lied to me. A lot. He told me things about our family that weren’t true and…”
A knot tied itself in his stomach, his throat tightening.
“H-He… did things to me that I didn’t understand.”
He touched his cheek where his prominent scar remained. One of his reminders of how he had failed his uncle in his time of need.
Camila was quiet. Hunter’s face burned with embarrassment, and he thought about shutting it down entirely. But he was too deep now.
“He hurt me. I know he hurt a lot of people, but he… took his anger out on me. I didn’t know it was wrong, and I told myself that he still loved me because-“
The words weren’t coming out.
“There were times when… I was rewarded for being good. ”
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t say it point blank.
He couldn’t look at Camila, but he could sense the tense energy radiating off of her. Her voice was steady, but full of concern and the slightest bit of rage.
“Hunter… did your uncle- did he…?“
He closed his eyes and nodded, Camila hitting the nail on the head. His heart drummed in his ears, face burning and shoulders tense. He covered his face with his hands, realizing he probably just ruined a perfectly good relationship by bringing up something so gross.
“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“
Camila pulled over in the parking lot of a gas station, her knuckles white at the steering wheel.
“ Hunter . Can you look at me, baby?”
He forced himself to do as he was told.
He had never seen Camila Noceda so angry and yet so full of kindness.
“I need you to understand that none of what happened to you was your fault, okay? Anyone who can do that to a child, much less their own family , is the lowest scum of the earth- and I am so so sorry that happened to you...”
Panic started to arise.
“But I- It was my fault at some point- if I had said no or if I-”
“You were a child, Hunter. You couldn't've consented in the first place.”
At that, his eyes welled up with tears, and he allowed himself to break down. Camila pulled him into a hug and held him tight, the action a wordless promise that nobody would ever hurt him again.