Chapter Text
Spring (Chifuyu)
On one of his afternoons after school, Matsuno Chifuyu walked alongside Baji Keisuke towards the apartment complex in which they both lived. Chifuyu still couldn't believe such a coincidence, this one among so many others that surrounded them.
He had always believed in fate and everything about Baji made him believe even more. Sometimes Chifuyu didn't believe in his own luck, after all Baji was the reason why Chifuyu smiled the most lately. Even his mother commented that he hadn't seen his own son like that for a while.
Chifuyu admitted to having had his rebellious phase and couldn't promise to get better now that he was part of a gang, but something in him had changed, after so much time seeing everyone and everything as an enemy, Chifuyu finally found someone he thought was worthy of following. And that man was Baji.
Baji-san as Chifuyu called him. Chifuyu would follow him to the end of the words, he would fight for him and live with him as well. That was what he had impulsively decided right after meeting him.
This afternoon was a special case, his captain’s arm was injured in a fight that happened in their school and because of that, Keisuke couldn't help his mother to move the furniture around the house, as he'd promised her he would do earlier. So, he asked Chifuyu to help her in his place, a task that the younger one would gladly fulfill for Baji and Ryoko-san.
“Sorry about this, Chifuyu” Baji-san had told him after revealing his real intentions by calling him that afternoon, “I was supposed to help my mom decorate her room, but obviously I can't do that with my arm like this , so you're really saving me here.
“Thanks, Chifuyu” Ryoko-san said to him as well.
But Chifuyu was still stuck in the moment Baji had said his name, he found it completely unfair the way Baji would say his name sometimes, it always sent a shiver down his spine. It was no problem for Chifuyu to help, especially given Baji's injury, he would gladly help him.
“Even though you're weak, you get into fights and end up causing trouble for Chifuyu,” Ryoko-san said.
Who's fucking weak, he wanted to ask, but held back.
-
Chifuyu found it disconcerting how similar Baji and his mother were sometimes. Besides their looks that were clearly similar, even if Baji didn’t think so, he was a very good looking man and all thanks to his mother's genes, since his father’ didn't stand a chance in that regard, but they were also similar in personality. Both had a strong personality and slightly irresponsible in themselves, it was no wonder that any topic was a reason for them to raise their voices with each other and started a small fight, it was their way of communicating and Chifuyu had learned to understand and admire, keeping a distance of course, he wouldn't get into any arguments with the two of them if he could help it.
So it came as no surprise to Chifuyu when they started arguing about tidying the room.
“I was looking at the wrong page, this isn’t going to bring me luck” Ryoko-san told him.
“What the hell are you doing? You're kidding me!” Keisuke exclaimed, sounding irritated.
“This isn’t good luck, my lack of fortune caused you to break your arm” She told him.
Knowing that Baji's mother blamed herself for what had happened to the boy made Chifuyu feel a lump in his throat, he had thought more than one about how he wished he had been able to stop Baji from getting hurt that day, how he wanted to be able to protect him even though he knew the boy could very well defend himself.
Chifuyu also knew that if it were him in Baji's place, his mother definitely would blame herself too and he didn’t like that idea at all. Maybe all mothers had that in common.
“I don't care! That has nothing to do with this!” Baji had raised his voice once more.
“Oh! Do not worry! I'll do it” Chifuyu said promptly even though he was feeling extremely tired.
Ryusei was there too, but I was the only guest. The boy thought, I'm just a servant for Baji-san...
Chifuyu didn't mind helping, but he at least wanted to know, had Keisuke ever seen him as a friend? Or would he ever see him as such?
He quickly pushed those thoughts away from him, I'm sure it's just because our houses are close, yes, I bet that's it! As he tried to move the wardrobe with his hands, but as much as he hated to admit it, Chifuyu felt powerless.
"What 's wrong? Are you worn out? Well, I suppose you did carry a lot of stuff" Baji asked, already knowing the answer and as he approached he also saw Chifuyu struggling to move the closet.
"No!" Chifuyu denied “I'm totally fine! I just can’t carry this by myself”, the younger boy admitted,
At that moment, Keisuke looked him up and down for a few seconds, Chifuyu couldn't decipher what was going through the boy's head at that moment.
“No more” Keisuke told him, “Just rest”
Before Chifuyu could say anything to him, Baji carried the cupboard that weighed so heavily in Chifuyu's hands, with just one hand! Using only the strength of your good arm! That was amazing, even more than that! Chifuyu was delighted with the scene in front of him. As the black-haired boy carried the locker, Chifuyu wondered why he called him if he could carry more weight in one hand than Chifuyu uses both of his. Could it be that Baji wanted company? Or just someone to help your mother and on a task he didn't want to do? But Baji didn't seem to be like that and was so present in the tidying up that it didn't make sense.
What am I to you, Baji-san?
-
Finally, when they finished decorating the room, Baji and Chifuyu sat around the table in the center of the house's living room. They shared a portion of food that Baji's mother had prepared for them, a welcome change from their usual menu that used to be a shared portion of peyoung yakisoba.
Sitting in that room, Chifuyu discovered that Baji was into Tuesday night crime novels. The boy excitedly explained his theory to him for the killer in the novel he was seeing at the time, even though Ryoko disagreed, Chifuyu could fully understand Baji's point and his suspicions. Maybe he'd start watching those Tuesday night shows too, so he'd have something in common with Baji during the week as well.
After another argument between the Baji, they both fell asleep, leaving Chifuyu a little uncomfortable, as this was not his house.
What am I supposed to do now?, Chifuyu wondered, oh, chores!
But before he could get to the kitchen, he heard Ryoko-san's voice calling his name. He didn’t have time to turn himself in her direction, right away she was already speaking to him words that he would never forget.
“Chifuyu, take care of Keisuke. He was born to an idiot like me and an even more idiotic father. And now he's a fool too, but he's always sincere in what he does. He's simply irresponsible. I taught him that much. It's rare that Keisuke brings a friend home with him. This is the first time I've seen him laughing with one of his friends. Keisuke is an only child, maybe you're like a 'little brother' to him. I hope Keisuke doesn’t make too much of a fool of himself, keep a close eye on him.”
“Yes”
-
Spring (Baji)
Brother? The word tasted strange in Baji's mouth when he associated it with Chifuyu. That surprised him a little, Baji couldn't deny how much Chifuyu's company pleased him and it was clear, true, what his mother had said. Keisuke hadn't smiled as much or laughed as much as he did next to Chifuyu in a long time.
He didn't know what to say or what it was, the boy's presence made him feel lighter. As if just his mere existence took a weight off Chifuyu's shoulders, as if with him around it was easy to breathe again.
That was Chifuyu's effect on him. A gift so great he didn't know if he deserved it, or rather, he knew he didn't. He knew it was a risk having Chifuyu by his side, even if it made him feel better than he had in times, it was still risky. The life that Keisuke walked brought with it enemies and he would never forgive himself if something happened to the smallest, even so, Baji found himself enchanted by the boy.
In any other situation, Keisuke's word was final, if he said he didn't want someone by his side then he wouldn't have someone by his side. That was not the case with Chifuyu, as much as he tried, the boy just followed him everywhere, until Keisuke gave in. And giving in to Chifuyu was the easiest thing he's ever done in his life, honestly, Keisuke needed to make a lot more effort to keep the little one away than to keep him close.
Maybe it was okay to keep Chifuyu close. Keisuke would allow himself to be selfish about it for once.
Still the word ‘brother’ didn't do their relationship any justice, but Baji didn't know any other words he would fit for them either.
Hearing Chifuyu leave the house to buy what his mother asked for, Baji followed.
“Chifuyu, I'm coming with you” He announced.
Chifuyu immediately stopped in the middle of the street and looked at him in surprise, Baji liked that feeling, the feeling of doing household chores with someone. And he liked that this someone was Chifuyu.
“I’m sorry about today, I said that I didn’t care about my injury or my mom’s fortune but-”
“No, it's ok! I got an approval from your mom and it just clicked” The boy said excitedly.
“What?” Baji pretended not to have heard their conversation before.
“I’m your sworn younger brother, y’know”
Baji wanted to protest, “What are you even talking about?”
“All I have to do is follow you, Baji-san. I may have lost track of that in all that’s been going on, So that’s why… I’ll do anything even chores to be by your side”
Baji didn't know how Chifuyu managed to say such words with such a serious and determined expression, as if the boy was even willing to stand by Baji's side no matter what, would it be possible for him to keep someone by his side like that? Keisuke didn't know what Chifuyu had seen in him and now, in this moment, he wanted the boy to never stop seeing.
Chifuyu made him feel alive again, as if he deserved to live, despite all the sins he had committed. Despite everything, Chifuyu saw something good in him and he wanted to be able to live up to it. He wanted to earn that admiration.
“Moron. Tell me that again” He told the younger one with a smug smile on his face. On the outside, was that what he wanted to look like, on the inside? Keisuke wanted him to repeat those words until they were engraved in Keisuke's brain, until he believed that someone really wanted to be by his side. That Chifuyu wanted.
-
Earth tremors (Baji)
Baji knew that there was nothing gentle about fate, or about karma to be exact. He knew that sooner or later fate would come to collect the blood debt he and Kazutora had left open years ago. Maybe he was wrong to open his heart, to allow himself to be happy after the crime he committed, but the truth was that despite everything, he had never paid for such a crime. Kazutora was arrested, while Baji remained free and surrounded by his friends and for Chifuyu.
Chifuyu had been ‘the calm before the storm’ in his life. Or rather, the spring after a long period of winter, it was even ironic if you think about it. Baji didn't know which season to call the battle that became known as 'Bloody Halloween', maybe a season had nothing to do with it, maybe it was just a natural catastrophe on a larger scale.
He would recognize the signs, the little earth tremors that would result in a big earthquake coming for them next.
He wanted to be strong enough to stop it from getting to the people he cared about. He would give anything to go back in time and erase all of his letters written to Kazutora, the name of Chifuyu, but it was too late now.
His blood debt would be paid with someone else's blood. And this was wrong, so wrong that Baji wished it was him on the floor bleeding.
He wished that Chifuyu would abandon him once and for all.
I do not deserve this. He thought. I've never deserved anything good in my life, it's obvious I couldn't deserve you.
“All I have to do is follow you, Baji-san”
Please don’t do this, Chifuyu. Please, please, leave me.
Chifuyu's words echoed in Baji's mind like a broken record with each punch he inflicted on the younger one.
Baji couldn't smile, even though it would just complete his performance to enter Valhalla. With each punch, Baji kept begging the heavens for Chifuyu to abandon him, to at least fight him, but no. The boy did none of that, instead of fighting, he gladly accepted a punishment that wasn't even his in first place.
What crime would Chifuyu have committed to suffer such retaliation? Baji could only think of one, Chifuyu had chosen to stay by his side.
“I’ll do anything even chores to be by your side”
'Let me go! Abandon me, Chifuyu. I’m not worthy, I never deserved you’.
-
Earthquake
When Bloody Halloween arrived, Baji could have sworn it was the end. At least for him it should be, it was the price he was willing to pay. Baji knew now that it would take more than he did to save Kazutora. Maybe it always has been.
They were both too similar in many ways, that's why they got along so well. Both knew the same language too: the language of violence. Kazutora had known through her father's hands while Baji had looked elsewhere, whether in the Dojo or on the streets, he had learned his lesson well.
Now, with an open wound on his body from his friend, he wonders if he caused it to himself. Baji has always wondered if things would have been different if he had known Chifuyu since childhood, if that boy would have been able to change his destiny. Or even if Kazutora had met Chifuyu earlier, would that have had the same result?
Baji suspected not. A theory he would never be able to prove, as the end seemed so close for him.
“I will protect you, Baji-san”, Chifuyu had initially said.
Stubborn as a mule, that's what Chifuyu was.
"Stay out my way!" He had told him at the beginning of the fight.
How he wished that Chifuyu wasn't there now, that he didn't get into his trouble.
'My sins are mine alone, Chifuyu. Get out of here.' It was what he should have had, but Baji couldn't afford to screw it up now. All of that had gone too far.
“You will have to kill me, if you want to stop me” Baji had known that Chifuyu would never do that and even knowing about it, Keisuke was still surprised when he heard the boy say that he wasn't capable of hitting him.
It broke his heart.
Chifuyu should at least be able to beat him, if only to make up for what was done to him at the Valhalla initiation. So that at least Baji could feel less guilty about what had happened.
Now, with his body bleeding and his strength draining away, Baji thought of this as if it was of fundamental importance.
Would that be possible? Not even with his death, would he be able to redeem himself? Not even then, would he ever deserve to have Chifuyu by his side?
With his eyes closed and feeling the pain of Kazutora's stab, Baji wanted to laugh as he remembered the conversation he had overheard between Chifuyu and his mother.
“Chifuyu, take care of Keisuke.” His mother had told Chifuyu. At that exact moment, Baji wanted to intervene, to say something, but he couldn't, absorbed in what his mother was saying.
“But he's always sincere in what he does. He’s simply irresponsible.” Keisuke wanted to protest still, although it was true, the current moment proved it to him.
“It's rare that Keisuke brings a friend home with him. This is the first time I’ve seen him laughing with one of his friends.” It was true again, Keisuke recognized that right away, he didn't usually take his friends home. sa, largely so as not to worry his mother and in another, because he trusted so few people.
“Keisuke is an only child, maybe you're like a 'little brother' to him” Now those words kept Baji awake, as he tried to interpret what his mother meant by that, but it sounded wrong.
“I’m your sworn younger brother, y’know” Chifuyu had told him. And not. It didn't make sense to him at all.
Baji never wanted a younger brother. A younger brother wouldn't make Baji feel what he felt. A younger brother wouldn't treat him like that and at the very least fight him like it was second instinct, they wouldn't have a choice. Except for what Baji and Chifuyu had had, Baji had chosen Chifuyu the day he saved him in that fight, though he was afraid to let the boy near, when he realized Chifuyu was already there. In your house, in your room, talking to your mother, at school, on the terrace, on the back of your motorcycle, at Toman meetings, in your room, in your room, in your thoughts and in your heart.
Chifuyu had chosen too, though he didn't know that he might be bargaining with the devil by choosing to side with Baji.
Even with the blood loss everything was clear in his mind.
So that was it, this whole time.
Love.
It was almost comical that Baji only realized this in his last moments, when his time was running out.
There was one last thing he could do for the people he loved, he wouldn't have time to act on his feelings for Chifuyu, but at least he could make sure that no one else got hurt that day, that at least Mikey didn't get his hands bloody committing the same sin he and Kazutora had committed before. That Kazutora wouldn't have to live with guilt when he died.
Once again, he found himself baffled as he realized that not even in his ultimate sacrifice could he even be able to match Chifuyu.
Even if his death protected Toman, he will never apologize to Chifuyu.
Fate was really cruel, indeed.
Gathering his last energy, Baji stood up for the last time, he supposed.
"Kazutora, you won't be the one to kill me" Baji said slowly as he got to his feet and with both hands, plunged the knife into himself.
He didn't have time to capture the expressions of everyone there, but in the distance he could hear a desperate scream.
“Baji-san!” It was Chifuyu’s voice screaming for him.
Baji didn't know how, but the boy caught him in his arms before he could fall to the ground again.
“Baji-san! Why?” Chifuyu questioned him, but any answer Baji could give would never be enough to express himself.
Chifuyu looked around desperately and asked him to call the ambulance, Keisuke could feel Chifuyu's desperate tears dripping on his face, the boy faced Takemitch who was approaching them and ordered him to get help, to call an ambulance and he was the first to run in search of something or someone.
Baji felt he didn't have much time, he needed to fix at least something with his sacrifice.
“Chifuyu” He called out the boy 's name, “Pan-chin, Mitsuya, Draken, Kazutora and Mikey. Toman's founding members are my treasure. I want to fix this on my own, but I just couldn't. I died on my own. Mikey has no reason to kill Kazutora.”
“Stop saying nonsense Baji-san! I wouldn't hit you before,, but I will definitely hit you now if you keep talking about dying", Baji hated the desperate tone in Chifuyu's voice. He hated being the one who caused this.
“It’s fine, Chifuyu” I’m going to die in your arms, it’s fine if it’s you, “I’d kill for some peyoung yakisoba right now!” Baji says, knowing he's starting to hallucinate from blood loss.
Suddenly, the image of him and Chifuyu sharing a peyoung yakisoba for the first time comes to mind. A tradition between the two. Something only Chifuyu would understand and Baji hoped he would.
I'm dying, and my last thought is the day I met you.
"I will go buy you some" The boy is shaking. Baji wished he could do something to comfort him. Anything.
"We'll split it, right?" He said, instead.
Chifuyu can’t make himself formuled answer for Baji, all he is able to do is cry. Baji wished he had the strength to at least touch the boy's face gently, at least once. Just once.
"Thanks, Chifuyu"
Your name will be the last word I will ever say. And my last thought will be you, always you.