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He wanders through the streets without a destination in mind. He’s shivering because of the cold. He didn’t bring a jacket or anything to cover himself, so he’s in his pajamas with nowhere to go. He doesn’t even know why he left the house, suddenly everything became unbearable and he had to get out, no time for changing clothes. He doesn’t want to go back, there’s no one waiting for him anyway, just four cold walls, an impersonal apartment that he only uses to sleep. He wishes he had a friend, someone he could rely on in times like this, someone that would let him stay with them to make him company in the dark times, but he’s all alone. Loneliness never felt as heavy as now.
He wanders a bit more around the empty streets, too lost in his misery to notice the cold, or the drops of water that start to drop until it becomes a heavy rain. His feet drag him through the city, getting more wet as the time passes. It’s not until he lifts his head that notices where he is. He turns around to go to another part of the city immediately, but it’s already too late, he has been noticed.
-What are you doing here? -Someone asks behind his back, his voice sounds serious but not harsh, albeit a bit tired- Didn’t I tell you that I don’t want to see you ever again?
-Sorry -His voice comes out as a broken whisper- It was a mistake, I didn’t want… -He clears his voice- I didn’t want to bother you, I’ll leave now -He starts to move, but a hand reaches for his arm, stopping him
-Wait, you’re soaked wet, and… Are those your pajamas? What the hell are you doing out at this hour in your pajamas? Do you want to die of hypothermia? Is that it?
-Haha, yeah, you’re right, I’m so stupid. I’ll go home now, goodnight. Sorry for bothering you.
-…I can’t let you go like this. Who knows what crazy shit you’ll do in that state. Come, my house is near, I’ll let you stay for tonight
-You don’t have to…
-Don’t cause more troubles, stop arguing and come. You can thank me by not showing your face around here again.
He follows silently, with a feeling of bitterness flooding his chest. He thought that he was lonely before, but being in the presence of someone who doesn’t want him there is even lonelier. He just wants to hide in a dark place and disappear, maybe that would be better for everyone.
He’s led to a house in the neighborhood, but the owner first makes him wait on the door while he goes for towels so he doesn’t wet the whole floor. Then he’s taken to the bathroom, where he’s allowed to get a warm shower. His clothes are put in the dishwasher, and he’s offered a new set of pajamas, that is a bit big for him, but it works for a night. Both of them sit down on the sofa with a warm drink between their hands. None of them talk, silence fills the room.
That place brings him memories, like when everyone of his acquaintances were invited to a party except him, how he saw the pictures on social media, and to quell the sadness he had to invite his classmate, the one he was the closest to, bit still without being friends, to his house to pass the time. He always yearned for someone to be close with, but he never knew how to close distances with other people, not even with the person he loved, and that at some point loved him back. Without noticing, a few tears fall from his eyes, soon followed by a few more until he’s silently crying non-stop. Only then the other speaks.
-You can’t cry for something you did to yourself. You should know better by now. Honestly, I only let you in because you could be a danger for any person on the streets, I can’t imagine what you could do to them, I would have ignored you otherwise. And I’m serious when I say that I don’t want to see your face ever again after tonight -He gets up, stretching a bit before leaving the room to go to his bedroom.
He’s, once again, left alone. He hides his face on his knees, crying harder than ever in his life for everything he lost without being aware of it. If only he could go back in time he would, but it’s too late to fix anything, and now he will be alone for the rest of his life.