Chapter Text
Every story has a beginning, however, to understand completely this one we need to look at 2 differents points of view.
For Matthew, it began like this.
He was peacefully half-sleeping under (or on top honestly, who knew? Not him at least) the celling beams when he heard the boss says "I will see you later, Lucienne. I'm going to the Waking world. "
"To see Hob Gadling, my lord?"
"Mn"
And look, for as much as Matthew was lazy when he was still alive 1.0, Matthew took his weird new raven job seriously. So, if the boss was going to the Waking world to deal with that Hob. Matthew was going too!
Matthew stood up (down?) and flew towards Morpheus. "Where are we going, boss?"
"Where am I going, you are not going with me" He replied looking straight ahead.
… As usual, this answered to none of his questions!!
"What!? Hey, we already talk about it! I will tell you–" but before Matthew could do his speech, Lucienne, out of everyone, stopped him by raising one hand and shook her head.
"Fare well, my lord" she said and then he was gone.
"Wait, what ? Boss !" Matthew said to the remaining cloud of sand. He raised his beak accusingly towards boss-lady "Lucienne!"
"Do not be worried for him, Matthew. He is just going to see a friend of his"
Ok, the boss has friend in the Waking? That was new but 'not worring?!' his boss has the social capacity of the worst goddamn cat! Who knew if his friend was a weirdo (affectionate) or a weirdo (derogatory). He told as much to the Boss-lady.
"Matthew, lord Morpheus' friend is very loyal to him and he likes his company." Lucienne seemed to be very fond of the guy because she continued to speak highly of him (loyal, loyal, loyal, yada yada yada) for the next 15 minutes. She would surely have continued if Matthew didn't leave her by screaming "but did he go to Hell with the Boss ? I DON'T THINK SO BOSS-LADY" he didn't even stay to hear what she replied.
Where is the problem in any of this, would you ask? After all, Lucienne could be fond of and approve Dream's twat of a friend. Ah! The problem is that everyone, everyone, seems to know about the boss's friend except Matthew.
The pegasus at the gate? "Yeah, I know him. He is very loyal to our lord."
The boat in the blue and green sea? "He isn't perfect but he try to be better and he listened to our lord. That's more than some did and still does." Whatever that mean.
That weird dream-rat in the late-16th themed part of the realm? Knew the guy! "What a lovely dude! He really appreciate our lord. You should have seen how anxious he was for that meeting!"
And ok, first of all Matthew didn't even ask. Gossipers, all of them! Secondly, how did every dreams and nightmares knew the guy!?
And now that Matthew thought about it. Who were most of the boss's friends?
- Lucienne (formerly called 'The boss-lady'*)
- Jessamy (RIP but thanks for the job I guess?)
- Matthew.
- Matthew's predecessors
*this is of course totaly unrelated to her appreciation for the other cunt.
Don't see the pattern? Every, every, friend of morpheus was his raven once in their life! And, do you remember how the Boss reacted when Matthew asked him where were they going ?
He didn't look at him in the eyes !
He fled !
Matthew knew how to take a hint!!
Matthew may not really know how people became a Raven of Dream of the endless but he knew that his situation was exceptional. It seems that usually, his boss chose his ravens-to-be.
Look, Matthew wasn't totally against having a co-worker but...
Well, no. He was wholly against having a new co-worker. Who is that prick anyway?
Loyal? Matthew wasn't loyal enough? He went to hell with his brand new boss!
Lovely? Look at those beautiful feathers! Can a greasy young human even compare !?
Listened to his boss? Hmph ! That dude would have say 'Yay, ok, go to hell by yourself! See you later!' and fled like a coward !
Liked boss's company? Matthew was nearly all the time with his boss!
Truly, a futur raven of second zone !
He went to tell as much to Lucienne but as soon as he saw her face he knew that she wasn't going to side with him. He didn't want to hear what she was going to say. So, he decided to fly away screaming "I'm surrounded by traitors!"
In his bitterness, Matthew decided to talk about this to his only true friend, a very kind immortal that wasn't going to die because he is a good guy unlike that asshole that will become Dream's second raven when he will die like the greasy human he is !
For Hob, it began like this.
His friend, his friend, like his friend said. Softly, like it was the most precious thing in the world and he looked at him with those eyes and his lovely smi–
Well, hum, as he said. His friend was sitting in front of him for their third (third!!) meeting this year (one meeting somewhat every two-three weeks, can you believe this 1889 Hob!?) when it happened. "Can I take one of those muffins?"
Hob nearly (not-)died choking on his own muffin when he heard that.
Who could blame him? His friend never ate, seemed to despise Hob's foods and drinks and here he was, asking if he could eat one of the most industrial muffins ever created? "Of course! You *cough* like muffins?" If he did Hob would hunt down his student, ask them where the fuck they found those horrible thing that should truly be illegal and he will buy them for him. No, his pride as a cook be damned, he would learn how to make them.
"No, I don't."
Well, that was still more interest in food than his friend ever had in front of him so it's still a win–
"However, I think Matthew would like them."
Hob slowly put down his muffin and shallowed. "Matthew?"
His friend finally took his eyes off the muffins and looked at Hob in the eyes again " ...A friend of mine"
... Of course.
A friend.
"You must have know each other for a long time."
"No" His friend seemed to calculate how long he knew the guy and well maybe hundred of years wasn't that long for his friend ? Who knew how old he wa– "We meet twelve weeks ago."
Hob wasn't mad, why would he be? His friend was meeting more people, forming friendship with people he turned into immortals (like that twat of Shakespeare that must still hide somewhere in England. Hob just knews it.). Even Hob was a bit less lonely because he visited him more often now, so he was happy that his friend was less lonely too. Whoever this Matthew was.
He truly wasn't mad.
"Ah, well take the whole box of muffins"
Maybe a bit annoyed.
"Are you sure?"
That his friend would bring a gift for that Matthew but not for Hob.
"Yeah, they are pretty cheap and I still have some of them in my house. Don't worry, friend''
That he won't have to way one hundred years.
"Very well."
Now, if you asked him. Hob would say that he loved that his friend was more open than before, maybe that was the biggest gift one could ask for (except for well, immortality). However, he bloody wished at this very moment he wasn't.
"I will give them to him when I got home"
You need to understand, Hob Gadling was born in 1355. He lived through the 80's, the 1900's ones. He knew how to take a hint. He knew how to take those kind of hints particularly well for he also used them for himself. Ah, not only his friend but his friend and his friend. "I'm happy for you, my friend."
He truly was but also as soon as his friend went back to his home, to feed his boyfriend, Hob decided that today was a good day to mope. And what better place to mope than the park and what better thing to do while moping than giving any muffins he has left in his flat to the pigeons.
Hob was mumbling (because he was old and bitter today) "fuck Shakespeare, fuck the muffins" when his raven friend came (flew?) next to him. The atmosphere was completely different from the last time they met. Instead of a crazy happy guy talking about his crush to a really weird raven, here were a moping immortal and the closest thing of what could look like a moping raven sitting in silence.
"Can I have one ? I mean, If you prefer throw those beautiful muffins to those dumb ungrateful ducks, no problem dude. " Matthew said because of course Hob has to be friend with a raven that has the exact same name as his friend's lover/boyfriend/boytoy/friend-with-benefits or maybe twat-Matthew was shakespeare's new name and they began to date each other 12 weeks ago.
Hob looked at his half full bag, a childish part of him wanted to say ‘no’ but a petty part of him thought that at least those muffins wouldn’t be eaten by the sweet, lovely twat-Matthew. "Yeah, dude, you can even eat all of them if you want"
Hob let the silence grow around them for a few more minutes before asking the inevitable question. "So, what happened ? And don't look at me like that. I'm maybe not the smartest guy around but I'm still a few hundred of years old. I know a thing or two."
Matthew sighed "…I think my boss is trying to remplace me"
"What?"
"Look," He ate another bit of his muffin "I was hired when the big boss was in a… hum… situation… So, the person in charge at the time chose me. You see, my job is kinda like being his shadow. I'm his eyes and ears, his emissary, yada yada." He moved his left wing along the words "But you see, I think that usually the boss chose his raven…" Matthew stopped talking and just sighed, defeated.
"And since he didn't choose you, you think he is going to choose someone else."
"Yeah" he took smaller 'bite' than before. "And you?"
"Hum ?"
"What happened"
Hob didn't reply right away, he knew that once he will say it out loud he will feel the reality sinks in deeply in his soul.
"I think, I think that my friend has a boyfriend."
"What !" He cawed at him then seeing Hob's face he made his voice softer "Hey, Robert, are you ok ?" He made two small jumps on the bench toward Hob "Ah, silly question. Sorry."
"it’s just—" Hob laughed a bit at the absurdity of the situation. "Well, that twat has the same name as you."
"WHAT"
"Yeah and he likes those muffins too." Seeing Matthew confused… body-language, he added "When we were sitting, he asked me if he could take one of the muffins with him because he thought that the other Matthew might like them."
Matthew looked at him for a good minute. He said, resolutely "You know what? Fuck that dude and his boyfriend. Your stranger stucks, my boss would never treat you like that. He left you for another guy on your third date, stood you up on the sixth, came back, left you on your ninth while stealing your muffins to give them to his boyfriend ? Man, you deserve better."
"It's complicated and he didn't steal them, I gave them. "
"Same thing, you love-sick man, he sucks I tell you again my boss would never. You know what ? He is single, a good listenner when he is in the mood, he is goth too but like THE original goth. I bet your stranger can't even compare. His sister is litteraly Death, whatever immortality he gave you my boss can give you a better one."
"No, offense but… Your boss is litterally trying to fire you and you went to hell with him." He winced at his own words but he was determined to make him understand how wonderful his stranger, his friend is. "Meanwhile when I smelled like the worst stinking hungry animal, when I lost everything he brought me food and talked to me like I was the most admirable person in the whole tavern for hours. And I will tell you when I say I was a stinking animal I mean it." He was looking at Matthew right in the eyes now.
"When I was funding one of the most horrific thing of the 18th century whereas I had the money to do better he talked to me. He was still worried for me when I honestly would kick my ass if I were to meet the person I was in 1789." Shame wasn't a word stronge enough to describe how he feels about his past actions. Nothing could describe how wrong he was.
"I was mean in 1889. I told him he was lonely, looking back it's a very hurtful thing to say. It was awful to push when he was on the verge of crying." he smiled, droping his gaze on this knees "I'm glad he came back, he even apologized" his voice grew softer "He is like that older friend that know better than you but still walk along with you, you know ? When you are as old as me, it's nice to have someone like that."
"…You know what, I yield, you are irrevocably in love with that stranger of yours"
"My friend." He rectified proudly.
"Yeah, yeah, your friend."
They were sitting in silence again. However this time, most of the gloominess was gone.
"You know" He hesited "I can still ask him if he would like to hire a talking raven. I think he is a kind of wizard so…"
"Nan, I'm good, I will cling to my boss like a leech. See, if he can fire me." he flapped his wings "Still, thank you for offering."
They looked at the people going by. The children were playing in the grass, screaming, laughing and terrorizing some poor pigeons. The sun reflected on the water and the wind made the trees sing softly. Hob closed his eyes. It was peaceful. It was lively.
"Matthew"
Hob gasped, Matthew screamed and jumped into his arms. The muffins fell on the ground.
"What are you doing here with Hob" His friend said, his gaze locked on hob's arms that were holding… Matthew.
A talking raven named Matthew.
A talking raven named Matthew that ate 6 muffins right in front of him in less than 10 minutes.
A talking RAVEN named Matthew that ate 6 muffins right in front of him in less than 10 minutes and that has a goth boss.
He felt very stupid.
"Well you see, boss, hum, I meet that lovely immortal some weeks ago, his name is Robert but you must already know that and well-" Matthew froze. " Wait. Hob ? You called him Hob !? He is the guy you want to hire as your second raven ?" He jumped on the ground in front of the stranger "He is immortal, boss ! He isn’t going to die that's the whole point of being immortal ! He can't be your raven !"
"Why should I need a second raven when I already have one ?"
"I- Well- I mean- Wait a minute" He turned toward hob, looking profondly outraged "YOU THOUGHT THAT I WAS HIS BOYFRIEND !?!"
Hob wanted the ground to swallow him whole, alas he only had his hands to hide his face and try to preserve what little dignity he had left. Ah. To be immortal and to embarrass yourself in front of an immortal talking raven and your immortal friend, the two people you couldn't fake your death with.
Ashamed as he was, Hob was still one of the most curious people around. He peered through his fingers to look at his stranger's reaction.
His friend looked at both of them deadpan for at least 2 whole minutes and… began to make a horrible sound ?
"Stop doing that, boss, boss ! that's creepy what the hell-" Matthew said jumping closer toward him.
His face was still relatively impassive, the sound got louder. At this point, he raised his arms: with his left hand he held his stomach and with is right one he covered his mouth. Then… he laughed his head off.
Because whatever that sound was, it must be a laughter. From the way he smiled, how his eyes shined, how he seemed barely able to stand and how he has to make half-circling steps to do so. It could be nothing but a laughter and it was the most horrible thing Hob had ever heard.
He was the most beautiful sight Hob had ever seen.
His friend finally fell on the ground, his laughter started to fade but grew louder again as soon as he glanced back at them and saw their faces.
Ah, well, the embarrasment was worth it.