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The only drug that Tony Stark could get behind was the super soldier serum—but even that was iffy. And being in front of drugs was a bad idea when they were in a needle that was headed straight for your gullet.
And when your gullet is being held down by a drug called knocked-in-the-head-by-something-hard, you're more than likely going to have some regrets.
His biggest regret was saying yes to that eighth—or was it twelfth?—margarita last night. But the woman was too beautiful, and the liquor was too strong, to resist either. And now he was facing the music. But who knew that a hum-dinger of a blonde would actually whack him in the back of the head? Go figure.
He always did have a thing for strong women.
Well…maybe just women. But having the guts to actually knock his brains out was a definite plus.
He wasn't used to feeling this weak; head splitting like a log under an axe, sure. Stomach flopping around like seals on ice, of course. But legs so shaky and barely able to hold him up? Not something he'd care to get used to.
He hugged the wall, forcing one foot in front of the other. His knees shook, and more than once he thought he'd end up as the company's newest product: the Stark Pancake. But he somehow managed to stay upright, and the door was right there , if only he could—
The door suddenly opened and a brunette woman entered, raising an eye at him. "You're rather ambitious."
"And you're still rather beautiful, even after changing hair colors."
Her lips quirked. "Too bad the drugs didn't affect your speech at all."
"If they had, I'd still be talking with my eyes." It didn't make sense, he knew it didn't make sense, but somehow, it just felt like the right thing to say at the moment. His head wasn’t giving him any help. "I've had a lovely time, but I'm sorry to say that I really need to be going. So, if you wouldn't mind giving me a hand out the door…" He flashed her one of his million-dollar smiles.
She ducked her shoulder under his arm and practically carried him back to the chair where he'd woken up. "Sorry, buddy, naptime's not over yet."
Tony shook his head. "Not sleepy."
"You will be in about ten seconds."
Tony recoiled at the syringe she pulled out of her pocket. "An overdose is lethal, you know."
"I missed the part where that's my problem." She squirted the air out and brought the syringe closer. "Now, won't you please tell me what I want to know? Then it'll be all over."
"Well, you see, it won't be all over, because then you're gonna steal all of my tech, and all of my blueprints, and then I'm going to have to wade through about ten years' worth of red tape trying to convince everyone that I'm not public enemy number one. Again."
"I'm sorry about that. I really am." The woman—Angela was her name, if Tony remembered right, though he definitely didn't remember much of anything from last night—pricked his skin with the tip of her needle. "Now. Tell me."
***
His head pounded like a jackhammer. His legs refused to cooperate properly, and he could barely lift his head.
Which made it that much more humiliating to be carried between two men, his arms around their shoulders. Fortunately, they only had to go through the front door and to the nearest couch. Pepper was going to kill him.
It’d be an upgrade.
"It's a good thing you sent us the SOS when you did, Tony," Rhodey was saying. "If we'd had any less time to find you…" He didn't finish his sentence; he didn't have to.
When they entered the front room of Tony's mansion, Pepper jumped to her feet from where she'd been waiting anxiously but primly on a stiff, overstuffed chair. "What happened to him? Is he all right?"
"I could use a cognac." Tony sent her a wink even as he tried to stand on buckling knees. "Double shot."
"What you'll get is a doctor's prescription and a glass of water." Pepper gave him an annoyed look before turning to Rhodey. "Thanks for finding him. And bringing him back in one piece."
“One piece? That’s debatable. You were a little rough there, carrying me through the door. A cushioned stretcher would be nice next time.”
“Shut up, Tony.”