Work Text:
"Edward Nygma!"
"Brucie, you know you're not supposed to call me when I'm at work."
"Disarm that bomb now!"
“Oh, are you at work too? Ah yes, I can hear the Bat-Voice. So it’s Riddler and Batman. Now, Batsy, how can I help you this fine evening?”
“This isn’t funny! Why are you doing this?”
"Well, riddle me this-”
“Not now! What is it? What do you want, Edward? You’ve been off this for nearly a month!”
“Oh, fine. Ruin my fun. But if you must know, Batman seems to pay more attention to Riddler than Bruce does to Edward. So clearly, being a man of logic, albeit slightly a twisted-”
“If you feel I haven't been spending enough time with you, you have to tell me! Remember how we discussed this?”
“For someone who’s trained to notice the flutter of a shadow-”
"...I'm sorry, Ed. We'll work on this, okay? Please disarm the bomb and we'll go home and do something together."
"I want to hear Bruce say it."
"...Edward, I would love to bake cinnamon buns with you and Dick tonight when you get home from work."
"Oh, Brucie! That's all you had to say!"
"Did you disarm the bomb?"
"Indeed I did! And as an aside... do you happen to know of a strapping man-about-town who might consent to share a commute home with me?"
"You mean arrest you?"
"Oh no, I've been captured. A strapping vigilante, then. Know of one? Tell him I'll bake something delectable if he goes easy on me."