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Apprehension gnawed at Maverick’s stomach as he strolled down the hallways, deadest and focused on exactly where he needed to be.
However sure he was about the decision he made, he couldn’t stop the feeling of shame that gnawed at his conscious. He tried everything he could think of to push that feeling down, even crying out to the universe the night before for some sort of guidance. When he received no answer, he knew that he had to go through with his plan. He needed to keep the kid safe and this was the only way that he knew how.
Maverick stopped at an office at the end of the hall and lifted his fist to knock against the door softly. “Admiral Kazansky?”
“Come in.”
Maverick turned the doorknob and stepped in, closing the door behind him.
He instinctively halted when he saw Iceman sitting at a desk in his Admiral uniform. His mouth went dry, despite seeing him wearing it for years. A whole new feeling overwhelmed him, and he suddenly wished that perhaps he had done this in a more casual setting. It was too late for that now, though.
“Maverick,” Ice murmured warmly, a smile creeping onto his face. “I didn’t expect to see you today. I thought you were working on the new fighter program.”
Maverick stuck his hands into his pockets and shuffled his feet under him. “Yeah, yeah, I am. But I wanted to see you,” he replied awkwardly.
Ice hummed to himself and leaned back in his seat, hands folded in front of him on his desk. “As much as I’d like to believe you, I know that’s not the reason for your visit.” He nodded to the chairs in front of his desk. “Take a seat and tell me what’s on your mind.”
Maverick completely forgot that no one could read him quite like Ice could. If he ever thought that he was keeping a secret or hiding how he really felt about things, Ice always had a way of bringing it out of him, or just knowing. Maverick envied that about him at times, as he couldn’t even begin to try and read Ice.
He took Ice’s instruction and took a seat across from him, leg bouncing under the desk. He let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding as he felt panic clutch his chest.
“Mav?” Ice reached out a hand across the desk and Maverick didn’t hesitate to take it, gripping it tight and giving it a few squeezes before he had calmed himself enough to lean back and release him, still breathing heavily through his mouth.
“M’okay,” Maverick mumbled with a shake of his head. “Sorry.”
Ice waved him off. “No need to apologize. I promise whatever you’re trying to tell me can’t be anything worse than what you’ve done before. I also haven’t gotten an email about you, so whatever you did couldn’t have been that bad.”
Maverick forced a laugh and swallowed thickly. “No, no, this isn’t about me this time.”
“Then who is it about?”
“Bradley.”
It only took a second for Ice to register who Maverick was talking about. He felt his heart drop in his chest at the mention of the name and he was transported back to when he would hear Maverick screaming from his bunk, begging for his RIO to wake up in the demented nightmare he had nearly every night. Ice had comforted Maverick through numerous hard times with his grief, which was something that they never talked about. It was just something that happened that didn’t need to be talked about.
“Goose’s son,” Ice stated softly.
Maverick nodded slowly. “Yeah. He’s following in Goose’s footsteps, I know he is!” He gave a brief pause and wet his lower lip with his tongue, a lump forming in his throat. “His mother and I discussed it before she passed and she asked me not to let him be in the air. He can’t be like us, Ice.”
“Maverick, that’s not our call,” Ice told him patiently. “If he has the credentials, he’s allowed to train as an aviator. We can’t change the playing field because you two don’t want him in the air.”
“That’s not what I’m asking,” Maverick pointed out quickly.
“Then what are you asking?”
Maverick grew eerily quiet, which was something that Ice had learned was never a good sign.
“He can’t go, Ice. I can’t let him go,” Maverick confessed softly, head bowed forward, knees almost hitting the table as they bounced manically.
“Maverick?”
“I need you to pull his papers.” Maverick lifted his head ever so slightly, tears shimmering in his eyes. “He can’t be a pilot. He never can be.”
Ice leaned forward, his right hand pushing on his desk. “You do understand what you’re asking me to do, right? This could set him back years. If he’s determined, he can still eventually become a Naval pilot. It’ll just take longer and be a hell of a lot harder. You understand that, don’t you?”
“Maybe then it can give me time to talk him out of it. There are plenty of other jobs in the Navy that are far less dangerous,” Maverick murmured feverishly, mostly to himself.
Ice could spot a spiraling Maverick anywhere and didn’t hesitate to stand up from his seat and walk around the desk. He pulled the second chair out from the desk and sat facing Maverick, waiting for his wingman to look at him before he continued talking, knees almost touching.
“You do realize what you’re asking me to do? This is something that can’t be undone, and when I say that Bradley is a smart kid and will find out, I can almost promise that he will know that it is traced back to you,” Ice explained, a heaviness to his voice that Maverick couldn’t remember him ever having before.
Maverick ran his fingers through his hair and brought both hands up to rub at his eyes as discretely as possible. “I can’t lose him like I lost Goose....lost Carole. Please, Ice. Please don’t let him do this.”
Ice leaned back in his seat and pinched the bridge of his nose. Out of all the stunts that Maverick had pulled that had gotten him thrown out of programs and moved around, there was something about this that seemed all the more difficult. He could practically see the look on Bradley’s face when he learned of the news. There would be no coming back from that, Ice was almost certain.
“Tom,” Maverick croaked, tears shinning in his eyes. “Please.”
Ice’s shoulders slumped as he gave an exhausted nod, suddenly feeling twenty years older. Hanging out with Maverick would certainly do that to a person, but this was extreme even for him.
“You’re positive? Again, there is no coming back from this.”
Maverick pondered it one more minute, unwilling to tell Ice that he had spent countless sleepless nights trying to figure out the best possible course of action. Every hypothetical led him back here. Bradley may end up hating him, but at least he would be safe.
“I’m sure.”
Ice tapped either side of his armrests and stood, Maverick doing the same. “This could all be futile, you know.”
“How?”
“This’ll set him back, yeah, but I wouldn’t count him out.”
Maverick shivered before nearly falling forward and wrapping Ice in a strong hug. Ice had no problems reciprocating, head rested in the crook of Maverick’s neck.
“I can’t lose him,” Maverick whispered breathlessly as the tears finally began to fall. “I just can’t.”
Ice hugged him tighter, heart pounding.
He would do as Maverick asked as a friend, but he knew that the relationship between Maverick and Bradley would never, ever be the same. It was something that Maverick would always have to deal with, but something told Ice that it was a burden that Maverick would proudly bear to protect his son.