Chapter Text
“Is Malfoy coming to the christening?”
“No, why would he?”
Everyone on the table turned to Hermione. Ginny waited for her to laugh first, but she didn’t even blush.
Oh, she was serious?
“Because you’re dating him,” Ron said, voicing what everyone was thinking.
This time she laughed. Loudly.
“Merlin no, we’re not dating.”
“That’s weird, you spend all your free time with him these days,” Luna said in her dreamy voice.
“Yes, for sex,” Hermione answered, still chuckling.
The only other person in the table who wasn’t frowning was baby James, who threw his pacifier on the table instead.
“You asked us to cancel your birthday dinner because you wanted to spend the day with him,” said Harry, absentmindedly returning the pacifier to James’ mouth.
“The sex is really, really good,” Hermione said, looking into the distance. When she lowered her beer, she was smirking in a way that made Ginny look away, and Ron groan.
“Please stop, I want to watch his team play without having to think of this,” he said, but Hermione ignored him.
“Have you seen the man? He’s pure muscle, he can lift me over his head with one arm.”
Ron pretended to gag while Neville excused himself and left for the toilet.
Harry opened his mouth to change the topic, but Ginny shook her head at him.
Everyone with a Witch Weekly magazine already knew far more details about Malfoy’s bedroom antics, they could all chill. She really wanted to get to the interesting part of the Hermione-Malfoy puzzle.
“All Quidditch players can do that,” she said, “to them, you’re like a miniature doll.”
“That’s true,” Luna agreed.
“And you’ve dated like three, so you should know,” Hermione tried to interrupt, but Ginny kept talking, “unless the sex is so good because you actually like him... you know, as a person.”
Hermione scoffed.
“Merlin, no. He’s so bossy.”
Everyone turned to her again.
“He has opinions about everything! And he writes on his books… please, who does that? No way. THAT’S why the sex is so good, it stops us from having an actual conversation, but I still get to look at him, you know? He’s really pretty.”
Luna coughed, and James cooed, but no one said a thing, waiting for Hermione to listen to herself.
Instead, she looked at her watch.
“Oh Merlin, I need to go. He plays tonight so we agreed to meet earlier. See you!”
She picked her purse and almost ran to the apparition point. Ginny saw her leave, shaking her head.
“I don’t know if I should save a seat for Malfoy at the christening, or ask for a seat for James at their wedding.”
“Nah, I give it a week,” Ron said, returning to his beer.
“Weren’t you listening? They’re like, the perfect match,” Ginny said, jumping to steal a chip from Ron’s plate.
He pushed his beer against her hand when she tried to take another.
“Want to bet?” He asked.
“Please don’t,” Harry called from the head of the table, moving around to make James go to sleep, “Hermione is James’ godmother, who’s gonna take care of him when she murders us?”
They ignored him. Ron looked so smug, like he was convinced he knew Hermione better. Which he didn’t, or he’d see the signs.
“Five galleons say they’ll be dating by the end of the day,” Ginny said, a plan forming in her head, “they just need a tiny nudge.”
Of course Ron laughed, until he chocked on a chip. Before he could swallow, Ginny jumped to steal more.
“Make it twenty galleons,” he said between coughs, not bothering to stop her.
“This is a terrible idea,” Luna said. Harry nodded in agreement.
“The absolute worst,” he added, but neither tried to stop them.
Neville chose that moment to reappear, returning from the toilet.
“What did I miss?” He asked, grabbing his beer.
Ginny turned to him.
“We’re going to a Quidditch game tonight.”