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It was midday in Seasoning City, and Reigen Arataka was enjoying a cigarette. He hated himself for smoking—it was time-consuming, dangerous, and expensive. Quitting cigarettes had been his New Year’s Resolution for five years in a row, but nicotine and the curl of smoke always helped him feel better when he was lonely. And he was lonely often these days. Each puff of smoke gave him momentary relief, but then reinforced how despicable and gross he felt, and how he could never get out of the cycle of depression, loneliness, and addiction.
At least he didn't smoke around the kids. He would never smoke around the kids—he didn’t want the kids to know he smoked at all. He didn’t want them to think that smoking cigarettes was okay, try it, and then be trapped in the cycle of addiction that Reigen had been in since his teens. Reigen wouldn’t smoke in front of them even if he got held at gunpoint. He even cleaned his suits with extra Febreze so his clothes wouldn’t smell like smoke. Reigen’s nicotine addiction was perhaps his most well-kept secret.
The street bustled with people. A woman in a purple pea coat. A man in a black suit. Reigen walked through the street, being sure to scan the storefronts as well. Bookstores. A Family Mart. A ramen shop.
"Hey!” A bright, familiar voice called out to him. “Kageyama’s master!”
Reigen turned around. It was Teru, who was some distance behind him, his blond hair growing out finally, a thick mop on his head. Walking alongside Teru was Mob.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. They were far enough away that maybe they hadn’t seen the cigarette yet. Reigen discreetly dropped his cigarette on the ground and thoroughly stomped it out with his foot. Then, he turned around to face the boys.
“Hey, Master.” Mob smiled.
“Oh. Hey, Mob.” Reigen desperately hoped that he didn’t smell like smoke. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a cram school retreat?”
Mob shrugged. “Got cancelled.” Reigen noticed that Mob and Teru were holding bags of brightly colored, patterned button-downs from a store called Dan Flashes. They must have been on some sort of shopping excursion.
Teru yawned. “So, the cigarette wasn’t good, eh?”
Beads of cold sweat appeared on Reigen’s temple. Play it cool, Reigen. Play it cool. “Ahaha. Um. What cigarette?”
Teru raised an eyebrow. “The cigarette that you threw to the ground and violently stomped on as we walked up to you.”
Fuck.
Reigen cleared his throat. “Ah, Teru, you must have been imagining things. Maybe you mixed me up with someone else.” Great. Gaslighting a 14-year-old. A new low, Reigen thought. Even for him. But lying was better than potentially getting these kids addicted to nicotine.
Teru’s face was now scrunched up in confusion. Reigen noticed just how small he was, in his perfectly matching neon green and pink tracksuit. “I mean, we both saw it.” Teru looked at Mob expectantly. After a few frozen moments, Mob nodded. “It’s not like we’re gonna narc on you or anything.” Teru continued.
“I was just holding the cigarette.” Reigen said. “For a friend.”
“Bullshit.” Teru stared at Reigen. The blonde esper was suddenly irritated. “Do you really expect us to believe that? We know that you smoke regularly.”
Reigen’s eyes widened. “You do?”
“No offense, but the office kind of smells like it. And your suits. It’s obvious.”
Reigen looked at Mob, who was staring at the ground. “Did you know?”
“Yeah.” Mob’s eyes flicked up towards Reigen. “It’s okay though. My dad smokes a pack a day. And I love him a lot. He’s a great person.”
Reigen swallowed. “You knew? Why have you never mentioned it?”
Mob shrugged. “You never smoke in front of us, so I assumed it was a habit you liked to keep to yourself.”
The sun shone bright in Reigen’s eyes. Mob knew. Mob knew this despicable thing about him, this thing he hated himself for—and Mob never judged him once. What did he do to deserve this? He was a liar, a manipulator, a failure as a role model, and yet, here Mob was, being a great person in spite of him. Reigen’s vision suddenly became cloudy and wet.
Mob stepped forward. “Master, are you—”
“Sorry,” Reigen said, thankfully stopping the tears before they could begin. “the Sun was stinging my eyes a bit.”
The kids stared at him.
“Anyway,” Reigen continued. “don’t be like me. Smoking is bad. It’s expensive and can cost you your life. Stop bad habits by never starting them.”
“Eh,” Teru said. “Smoking is uncool anyways.”
“Yeah.” Mob agreed. “Makes me nauseous to be around. Thanks for never smoking in front of us, Master.”
“If you ever want to quit, I heard that nicotine patches work really well.” Teru gave Reigen a thumbs up. “Mob and I can help you.”
“Yeah!” Mob beamed.
Reigen smiled at both of the kids. He was a lucky person. He didn’t know what version of him that these kids were seeing—but on some level they saw him for who he was. And they chose to stick by him anyways. It gave his heart a warm sort of feeling; it made his chest swell and tighten, buckling under the weight of all the good things in life he knew he didn’t deserve.
He put his arms around Mob and Teru. “Let’s get some ramen. My treat.”
Maybe Reigen didn’t need cigarettes to feel less lonely after all.