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Diluc stared. And he stared and stared, seeing just how happy the ginger looked when he was with Zhongli. He couldn't tear his eyes off them, not when the blush on both their faces was apparent.
It hurt. Like a tight coil wrapping around his heart that tightened each time he saw them. In a way, Diluc had wished that Zhongli was dead— but that was too much wishful thinking, and it was undeserved. The redhead forced himself to look away from the pair's table. They were in Monstadt for a week or so— Diluc didn't pay attention, for a commission, he believed.
What a sight for sore eyes , Diluc scoffed to himself as he served and made drinks for his customers. He could feel some of his anger slowly come around, and despite trying his best to suppress it, it didn't work. It wasn't all good nor pretty for those who had never witnessed Diluc angry.
He felt horrible being unhappy as he saw Childe laugh with Zhongli. At the same time, the latter looked at the ginger with such adoration that even Diluc knew he wouldn't be able to muster up without effort.
So he stood, behind the bar, working and letting his jealousy get the best of him. Eventually, as the hours went by, the Tavern slowly emptied, and all left were the three elemental holders.
Oh, this will be fun.
The two continued to chat, and the redhead began to clean up the cups and put away the alcohol that was out of place. There wasn't much to clean since he always ensured the Tavern was clean, but it wouldn't hurt to triple clean.
Zhongli got up, excusing himself to go outside for a brief moment as it seemed someone was trying to get ahold of him. Childe nodded and smiled, gesturing that he'll probably talk to Diluc for a moment.
A slight flutter came to his heart as quickly as it died while the scene in front of him unfolded. Childe got on his tippy toes and kissed Zhongli's cheek, a faint blush overcoming him. He shoved the geo holder out the door before he could do anything else.
It's pointless to feel this way; get yourself together . Diluc yelled to himself mentally before slightly greeting Childe as the other walked towards him.
"Diluc! It's been a while since we last chatted. How is everything?" Childe asked, his voice somewhat giddy and hidden with a calm facade.
Diluc knew Childe well but couldn't tell if the feeling was mutual. "I've done well, Childe. All is well; nothing has changed since your last visit here."
The ginger grinned, his dull eyes holding all his unspoken feelings. His heart tugged once more, knowing that the pyro user was not the reason for the hydro user's happiness. Diluc pushed away his thoughts and continued to dry the cups with his damp rag.
"You seem happier when you are with him. Is there a reason?"
"O-Oh! Do I? Haha, I guess I didn't realize... Yeah, I uhm... I fell in love with him."
Diluc stopped his movements as he looked at Childe, his expression becoming unreadable to the other. A quick moment of silence overcame him before Diluc could formulate words properly.
"That's great— I'm happy for you." Keep your composure; maybe I saw it wrong. Diluc said and thought as he averted his gaze from Childe.
Childe smiled, and at that moment, Diluc knew he didn't see wrong.
Childe's eyes had sparkled briefly, and Diluc's whole world had crashed .
It's been nearly four days since Childe last came to Angel's Share with Zhongli. And it has been a silent torture to Diluc; how could he ever bring himself to hate Zhongli regardless? He was an angel, everything that Diluc wasn't.
Diluc wished that he hadn't fallen in love with Childe and hoped that he could be an average person without the feelings harboring in his heart. He hoped that he could stop wishing to be Zhongli.
It was late at night, and nobody was in the Tavern. The only person there was Kaeya, much to Diluc's dismay and comfort.
"Diluc, what's on your mind? You haven't been the same for a while." Kaeya asked, his sultry voice laced with concern for his brother. "What would you know?" Diluc mumbled, his expression dulling as he looked at the bar table.
"You're my brother; I would notice these things whether you expect me to or not," Kaeya said, getting up from his usual seat and going behind the counter to comfort Diluc. "Is this about that fatui guy who came here with that funeral parlor?"
Diluc tensed, knowing that the other was right. They grew up together, and if anyone were to ask, he would say that even he knew Kaeya better than anyone else would.
"What's the point, Kaeya? He's in love with him; I merely accept that fact." Diluc stated, fighting back the tears as he refused to cry. Not over something as dumb as this.
Kaeya sighed and hesitantly hugged Diluc, not knowing if the other would be okay with it. Unexpectedly, Diluc did hug him back, which forced a sound of surprise from Kaeya. The brothers stayed like that, not speaking and dwelling in the comfort they had long lost as the years passed.
Eventually, Diluc let go and sighed. "Well, I suppose I could... get out of character for a while."
"Eh? What do you mean by that— Diluc?" The blue-headed was cut off as his brother grabbed a whiskey bottle hidden behind all the wine. "This will be the first and last time; promise not to inform anyone else of what happens tonight."
"I promise. Can I at least have so—"
"No."
Oh god, he's drunk.
Kaeya thought as he saw Diluc stare into space with a look of hurt and dissatisfaction on his face. Diluc wasn't the one to show emotions when drunk, Kaeya supposed. He just had an empty blank stare, and although he would say a few things that would make Kaeya laugh, Diluc would almost immediately go back to the deadpan look.
"Diluc? We should get you back home; it's late," Kaeya said, taking the empty bottle of whiskey from the other's hands and throwing it away. Of course, Diluc didn't do much but nod and get up from his seat, almost falling from how drunk he was.
Kaeya grabbed him, putting the other arm around his shoulder and holding onto Diluc. It took a bit, but they eventually could leave and lock up the Tavern. "Getting to Dawn Winery may take a while. We can stay in my house til you feel better." Kaeya offered, looking over at Diluc, who.. was staring at Childe.
The ginger was alone, walking around an empty town. He looked over to the Tavern and smiled as he saw Diluc. Kaeya let a look of annoyance stay for a second before using his usual smile to mask his irritation.
"Diluc!" Childe said that once he was close enough, he perked his eyebrow up as he noticed Diluc's quietness. "Uh, Diluc? You there, comrade?"
"Ah, you must be Childe. My dear brother told me about you," Kaeya said, taking the ginger's attention so it wouldn't linger on Diluc any longer. Diluc seemed grateful, though he didn't show it.
Childe nodded, "Yup! Names Tartaglia, code name Childe. And I guess you're Kaeya?"
"That would be me; what brings you to town this late at night?" Kaeya asked; he stays any longer, and I'll freeze him if I have to.
"I just needed some time; Zhongli's doing something right now, so I took the chance to the wall around for a bit." It was subtle, but Kaeya noticed the small smile when he spoke of the geo user.
"Why are you really here?" Diluc asked, forcing himself to sound sober. He wouldn't dare show his anger, not when he isn't in his right mind. Yet, he knew it wouldn't last for long.
Kaeya could tell that Diluc was near his breaking point,
"As I said, I came to talk a walk—"
"Enough," Diluc said, his voice stern. "I might as well just be honest with you for once."
"Diluc? Are you sure..."
Diluc sat for a bit before nodding; he supposes there's no use in returning now.
"I'm sick of being in love with you. It had been noticeable for quite a while, Childe, yet you never did take my hints for it. I have loved you for so long and only noticed back in October, yet I knew that any efforts I showed would be futile." Diluc stopped briefly, looking at Childe for a brief moment before continuing with his rant, "I don't know why I even fell for someone like you. The past week has been torture, seeing you all happy with Zhongli while you were the first to make me feel like I was me. I don't wish to be an intrusion on your relationship with the other. But, for my sake and your own, do not visit me when you come to Monstadt."
There was a moment of silence; Kaeya and Childe looked at each other and then at Diluc with a look of surprise. They hadn't seen Diluc like this in quite a while, so it was a shock. Though, the surprise was short-lived as Diluc stood up to walk away from his feelings and the two men. He couldn't believe it. Had he let half his emotions spill to someone that didn't even like him back? Childe eventually ran up to Diluc, his eyes holding something that the redheaded didn't know he could show. "What you said back there, was it… was it true?"
Diluc grunted, annoyance now taking over him, "Of course, it was true, Childe; I have no intentions of lying to you. If you have something to say, then please hurry up."
As expected, the ginger had nothing to say and took a few steps back from the other. "I-I'm sorry, Diluc, I-" "Save it; I have no use for your apologies. Tell Zhongli I say hello for me."
And with that, Diluc began his trek to Dawn Winery with Kaeya hot on his trail. That was the only thing he knew of what to do so he could no longer hold the burden of his heart's coil tightening more each day.
Goodbye, Tartaglia.
Eventually, winter came around again. The cold air surrounded Diluc and his three companions; Kaeya, Klee, and Albedo. Albedo and Kaeya were holding hands, chattering amongst themselves as Klee ran around the statue of the Anemo Archon. He sipped on his coffee, the hot drink giving him some warmth he had lost. It's been nearly a year since he saw Childe and Zhongli, and he was glad about that. Seeing them will only cause the memories of last year's events to come back, whether he wants them or not.
Klee, seemingly feeling Diluc's loneliness, ran before him and grabbed the hot chocolate she had left with him. Usually, she would go with Albedo, but he was busy chatting and leaving small kisses on Kaeya's face. It made Diluc feel somewhat envious but happy for his brother nonetheless.
"Uncle Diluc, when will you find someone to love? Big brother Albedo and Sir Kaeya seem so happy!" Klee said, her voice somewhat shrill as she saw how happy the couple were. Diluc chuckled, "I will find someday, but for now, I will appreciate the company of my dear friends."
"Will Mr. Ginger come back soon? He was funny! And you looked happy whenever he came around."
Diluc winced,
"Maybe one day Klee, maybe one day."
Maybe one day, they will see the pain they both had inflicted on each other, intentional or not. But for now, Diluc will spend his time with the ones he loves, as well Childe.