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Published:
2022-10-27
Updated:
2022-11-27
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5/10
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writings of a dead man

Summary:

sunny's chances of living were close to none at this point.

basil gifted him a diary.

soon, it was full of the writings of a dead man.

Notes:

first proper fanfic i guess, coming from the guy which at least 4 people in this community seem to dislike. neat.

look guys, rag on the story all you want just be constructive if you're gonna do so then i wont have a problem. i am a commentary youtuber after all, (CONSTRUCTIVE) criticism is kinda my thing.

have fun i guess and dont mind the mood change from my last fic to this one, it really depends on how self aware i am of myself at the moment.

Chapter 1: first entry

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

March 24, 20XX

Dear diary,

Is that how you start one of these? It's not like I would know anyways. My name is Sunny Suzuki, and my current status is that I'm writing in this thing while stuck in the hospital. My friend Basil gave it to me around a year ago because he said that it would be a good idea to keep track of my daily activities but I never got around to it until now. It's not like I have anything interesting to write about when it comes to me though, being that I can't really move around anymore since I'm confined to this bed. It's pretty relaxing if I'm being honest.

I should probably start writing why I'm here to begin with. I was playing in a recital with my sister, Mari, and for once, I finally felt what it was like to be perfect. She's perfect after all, and I'm not, but the sensation gets to you. After that, things start getting really fuzzy. One second, I'm hearing the cheering and applause from the audience, and the next, I'm stuck inside a hospital bed. It's crazy. Maybe that's what my life is, just one crazy thing that can never be put to rest no matter how you change it.

I also have a bit of trouble recalling what happened before the recital. I can remember her yelling at me, but everytime I try and think of the words she said, they just can't seem to find their way to my brain. It's like I've been forgetting something but I don't know what. I don't dwell on it though. Mari's perfect, it's probably just something stemming up from my condition.

On a related note, I also don't know what my condition is. It slipped my mind as well, and everytime I ask one of my friends or my family, they all seem to just stare at me with a pained expression.

Could what I have really be that serious? I hope not.

I forgot to write about my friends in here too. Sorry, my mind's been all scattered trying to remember all this. There's Basil, someone who I would consider my best friend. He likes to garden a lot, especially when it comes to flowers. I've learned a few that way. Roses, lily of The valley, sunflowers, gladiolus, and cacti are the ones I can remember. He's really nice, and he's fun to hang around with. He also brings books to me, and they're always an interesting read. I'm really thankful for him.

There's also Kel. He has a brother, hero. They're my next door neighbors. Hero is dating my sister too. At least, I think so. I haven't heard from them in a while. Kel is pretty sporty, if that word is what I think it means. He plays a lot of basketball, and I'm not going to lie, he kinda stinks. He's still my friend even with the smell that radiates off him. Whenever he visits he brings a new issue of Captain Spaceboy, which has kept me at bay for a while.

Hero likes to cook as well.  He's around the same age as Mari is. Everytime he comes to the hospital to visit me, he brings something he cooked. I think he has to sneak it into my room though, but that's just a suspicion I have. He, along with Kel, says that I'm basically their honarary brother. Unfortunately, they're a bit older than me. I have always just slightly wanted a little sibling, though, mainly because I'm the youngest in my friend group.

Then there's my friend Aubrey. Well, at least I think. I haven't seen her in a while. I miss her. She was the only other girl in the group. She's wonderful, sweet, really nice. Basically any positive adjectives can be used to describe her. Though I can't remember the last time she visited. I hope I see her again soon. I'll try and update this diary later. For now, I'm just going to read the Spaceboy issue Kel brought me yesterday. Apparently, this one is a crossover with Sweetheart, this other character I've seen. They play some of her movies on the channel that the TV in my room is set to, and I don't really like her. She seems a bit stuck up and snobbish. Maybe they'll expand on her character in the comic.

I'll have to ask Basil about how I sign off a diary entry.

-Sunny

Notes:

please tell me one of you gets the flower detail PLEASE

god you can tell i have no idea what im writing LMFAO, still not gonna have my fics beta read because that would require friends that actually are interested in fanfiction, and i have 0 of those

-the janitor ("Good writing is not one of the things you sign up for when you read these.")

Chapter 2: second entry

Summary:

sunny documents another day,

another day closer to death.

Notes:

well, unlike my last fic, this one is actually getting updated. after the next chapter i plan for things to start getting really good.

feedback is appreciated.

Chapter Text

March 26th, 20XX

Dear Diary,

Today I hung out with Basil. Well, more like Basil hung out with me. Like last time, I'm still stuck here. I wish I wasn't though. I asked Basil when the hospital would discharge me, and he just said "We'll see." He brought me a new flower today, a white egret orchid. It looks pretty. Apparently, it means, "my thoughts will follow you into my dreams."

I also took some medicine today. The doctors came in with around 2 pills and a cup of water and asked me to take them. The pills looked white with the words NVR and UTR written into them. I wonder what they are.

Mari also came by. She gave me a big hug and brought me a new stuffed toy. It looked like a sprout mole. She asked me if I like it and of course I said yes. Then something weird happened. I asked her how her piano lessons were going and her smile turned into a frown. I asked her what was wrong and she didn't even answer. She went out of the room. I waited for her for maybe 2 minutes, and then she came back. I could see she had tear streaks down her face though. She grabbed my hand and said, "Sunny, I love you so much. I'm so sorry for everything." Why did she apologize to me? Did I do something wrong? I told her it was okay and she had nothing to apologize for, but then she started tearing up again. Why was she so sad? She gave me a kiss on the forehead and said she was going to go meet up with Hero, and we said goodbye to each other and then she left and I felt sad.

Was this my fault? Did I make her sad? I should ask Hero what's wrong with her. Also, I watched something on TV today. I can't remember what it was, something about some kids who go on some kind of adventure. I can remember them walking on train tracks. It makes me think of all my friends. I miss them. Especially Aubrey. 

I want to go home. I miss Aubrey. When will she come visit?

-Sunny

Chapter 3: third entry

Summary:

aubrey finally visits.

Notes:

in the seven hours i was gone this thing got 4 more comments and about 150 more hits.

wow.

anyways, we're really close to my favorite part, where the writing gets worse. sorry the thing is so fast paced tho, its hard to make diary entries long because who writes long diary entries mostly?

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

March 27th 20XX

Dear Diary,

It finally happened today. Aubrey visited me. At least, I think so. I'm not sure who I saw was actually Aubrey. Kel was visiting me because he came about half an hour earlier before she arrived and he was talking to me. I don't remember what we were talking about. Then someone opened the door. A girl with pink hair came in. She also had teal contacts and was wearing jeans and a white jacket of some kind. Kel looked at her and his face seemed somewhat angry? It isn't clear to me, mostly because I got scared and hid under the blanket. Then a soft voice said, "Sunny?" and I got even more scared. I thought something was going to happen to me.

Then they said, "I just want to talk." But Kel interrupted and said, "Aubrey, can I talk to you for a second?" That was when I got shocked. That was Aubrey? She looked so different. I couldn't believe that that was my crush there, and really, I still don't think I do. That was when I looked out of the cover and noticed both Kel and "Aubrey" were gone. Then I heard a conversation. I can't remember all of it so I'll try and write it down here:

Kel: "Really Aubrey, [couldn’t remember] radio silence from you to [couldn't remember, might have been my name] NOW is the time you decide to show up?"

"Aubrey": "Kel give me a break, [couldn't remember]."

Kel: "God Aubrey, you're really frustrating at times, you know that? I mean, where were you when [couldn't remember] after that, and THEN SOME?"

"Aubrey": Kel, I'm sorry, but I was grieving-"

Kel: "NO, Aubrey. We could have helped you. We could have gone through this together. But no, you instead decided to FUCK OFF with your new group of friends! [couldn't remember]"

I started tearing up at this point. Was this really the Kel I was talking to just a few minutes ago?

"Aubrey": "Kel-"

Kel: "And what about Sunny?! Did you ever really care for him? It seems to me you don't, because if you did, you would've been there for him a long time ago!"

"Aubrey": "Don't you fucking DARE say that I never cared about Sunny! [couldn't remember.]"

Kel muttered something I couldn't hear and then he said: "This is so typical of you Aubrey, of course you would be this way. It might have just been better if you just left-"

"Aubrey": FINE THEN! YOU WANT ME TO GO? THEN I'LL GO! ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS SEE SUNNY AND MAKE UP AND THIS IS HOW I'M TREATED? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS-"

I must have not realized that I was fully crying at that point because they turned to look at me and I was just crying my heart out. Kel then told "Aubrey" to get out with a look on his face I might never forget. He looked so angry, with a mix of sadness in between. She just walked out of the doorway and I never saw her again after that. Kel then looked at me and he started walking towards me then he started to hug me while I cried on his shoulder. Why were they arguing over me? What is wrong with me? Kel just told me it's okay over and over again but I couldn't believe it.

Why do I make everything worse? I need to ask Kel if I can see that girl again. If that really was Aubrey, then I want to apologize for what I did.

Why can't I remember what they said? I'm starting to forget more and more. Maybe it's a good thing that someone gave me the diary. Who did it was Basil I went back and checked and I remembered, I'm becoming more worried.

reminder

Ask Kel if I can see Aubrey again.

-Sunny

Notes:

i dont really know what im doing do i?

kek.

heres a neat fact: this fic was super different back in the early first draft. it was after sunny dies (in an alternate universe of course) and he too had a journal. mari would give aubrey the journal because reasons and aubrey would start reading it. the story starts when aubrey is reading the final entry of the journal, written on march 24th. i scrapped it because it felt weird starting the story at the end and also tedious to explain all the journal entries before from aubrey's experience, so now that's long gone. it is what it is i guess.

hey i edited this to fit a plot point so hope that clears things up for future readers

Chapter 4: entry four

Summary:

aubrey has a talk with sunny.

Notes:

you guys see that way to blow it aubrey fanfic got a sequel? pretty cool might link it if I feel like it

anyways new chapter boys, btw the schedule for chapters is that there is no schedule and I hate time management

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

March 28, 20XX

Dear diary,

i almost forgot to do so, but i looked back and asked kel if i could see aubrey again. He didn’t want me to but i insisted. Then he looked away for a few seconds and told said “alright, fine. But im not gonna be here when she comes.” I told him that’s okay and then he told me that aubrey’s changed but I don’t see how that really changes anything. I just wished she’d visited earlier.

or maybe i wish that i wasn’t stuck in this fucking bed im sorry


it’s been about a few hours since i wrote in the diary and I finally got to talk to aubrey. Kel left about an hour before she came in. Maybe she had other things to do than visit me. I probably would have too.

I heard some footsteps and then the door opened and aubrey came out and at first i thought someone was playing a tric on me and that aubrey wasn’t really here but that same pink haired girl. She said “sunny it’s me aubrey” and i think i might have said “no you arent” or something. Whatever i said hurt her because she had a face that i don’t remember and she got closer and i got scared and she said “sunny im sorry for not being there” and i said “it’s ok, you were greeving right?” and she said yeah and i said “that just means you cared” and i don’t remember what she said after that but she looked happy and her being happy makes me happy and I like seeing her happy and

im sorry for rambeling like that. She held my hand, it felt nice. and then she said something about a promise that i don’t remember, i think it went like “i promise i wont be gone anymore” and i just smiled. then we talked about her. I can’t remember very clearly but i think her dad left her and her mom hasn’t been the best. I feel sorry for aubrey. sometimes i wish we could switch places. at least i think that I imagine myself taking aubrey’s place. I wouldn’t want her to have been stuck in this bed though or have whatever i have i wish she could just have the happy home that i have that she doesn’t have everytime she has to go home. i told her that and she just said “sunny, would you really have wanted that?” and I don’t know why she asked that because if she could live a happy life even if it meant sacrifising mine then of course.

she also talked about her new gang. something like “berly and van” and some others whose name sliped my mind. I told her it’s really cool that she led a gang and she asked me “really?” and i was like yeah of course and she smiled and said “you’re the best sunny” and I smiled too haha. apparently they beat up people only sometimes she made a joke about that I don’t remember I think it went like “only on tuesdays” it was a funny joke. I missed her a lot it felt like those things that we used to play on and she would talk to me for hours until we had to go home. I don’t remember what they were though

we just held hands together till the hospital staff told her to leave. I asked them if i could keep holding her hand and they told me tomorrow. that ecsperience helped me realise that was aubrey and i feel bad for doubting her. I feel strange though. Aubrey talking about her parents got me think about mine. I don’t think ive seen mom or dad since ive been here. I cant remember the last time they visited. I need to ask mari if they’ve visited at all.

I hope I can see aubrey again. She was really fun

-sun
      ny

Notes:

this chapter felt iffy to me. like it’s missing something.

oh whatever

Chapter 5: fifth entry, sixth entry

Summary:

sunny learns the truth.

Notes:

uh ive been dead LOL

ive been doing other stuff like writing the very first omori rap battle hopefully before gamingplush64 can claim the title and also ive just been playing a lot of LISA as well

enjoy i guess

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

March 31, 20XX

i have a brain tumor

 

 

i dont want to talk about it

 

April 3rd, 20XX

aubrey was talking to me and someone had come in.

they started talking about me .

and then i asked about what I had that was so serious because I didn’t know.

the girl looked at me with something like sorrow in her eyes I don’t really remember them and i think she was about to say something and then aubrey just said “sunny you seriously don’t remember? “ 

i dont and she said sunny _________________________ you have a brain tumor that’s i all remember before i started crying.

this was why i ruined everything

because of me

and this stupid fucking brain tumor

 

 

 

im the reason why kel and aubrey fight now

 

why my sister cant be perfect.

 

why hero has to waste food on me

 

im the stupid one right 

hahaha

 

 

this is all my fault isn’t it

 

 

 

 

why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything why do i always ruin everything

Notes:

WHY YES I LOVE ARTIFICIALITY INFLATING THE WORD COUNT HOW COULD YOU TELL

I’m so tired bro I’m probably discontinuing this lmfao

new chapters coming out NEVER

I’m trying way too hard on this actually

how many of you actually read these