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Looking over to Guyun Stone Forest in the horizon was something the consultant of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor found himself doing a lot these days.
After taking an afternoon walk through the harbor, maybe having a drink with the ginger Fatuus, Zhongli calmly strolls over to the south of Guili Plains, he looks to the horizon idly, thinking about the old days. It's not like he has anything better to do - going from the Geo Archon to a mortal working in Liyue in a matter of a few days makes him feel as though his days are oddly empty.
Despite that, he must say it’s quite a freeing feeling; being able to make of his days what he wants, no widely important duties or world threatening hazards to take care of… as long as his nation, the Adepti and his last remaining Yaksha are safe, he is at peace.
Even if the emptiness in his chest eats away at him some days.
Regardless, that’s enough reminiscing for today , he thinks after a couple hours of looking at the darkening-orange sky. Zhongli turns his back to the scenery, walking leisurely back to his city. He’s not particularly sleepy; well he’s never been, he’s still a God after all. But right now, he must say, as the warm air envelops him the reminder of the peace of mind that sleep brings is very enticing.
Heading back with the intent of going back to his apartment and being done for the day, he most definitely did not expect to see the traveler talking to a short, teal haired bard next to his statue of the seven.
“Barbatos??”
The God of Anemo and the traveler turn to him hastily; perhaps he spoke louder than he intended to. Zhongli watches as a smile quickly forms on his old friend’s face.
“Old man! Wow, how long has it been??” He asks cheerfully.
“I don’t know, Barbatos. For how long have you been sleeping again?” He didn’t mean to get sassy, but it just seemed to come naturally to him in that moment. Paimon and the Traveler look at each other, looking confused.
“Uh, ok?? It’s Venti now, blockhead. I know it’s hard for old people to remember things but do try to keep that one in your head, alright?” Venti steps closer and extends an arm from behind his back. In his hand is a bottle of Osmanthus wine. “Really, I bring you a present and all you do is be rude to me… how ungrateful.”
Zhongli, now a little ashamed, looks down apologetically. “I… see. You’re right, Venti, I apologize. It’s been long since your last visit, I’m glad you’re here. We do have much to discuss.”
“Gee… always taking everything so seriously… and you’re even getting sentimental. You’ve changed, my dragonic friend.”
The traveler’s companion springs from behind their back. “Paimon must say… this is kind of an unexpected friendship!” The traveler nods in agreement.
“Yeah, well, Morax and I have been friends for a long time. In a while, you’ll see how tiring that is… really, one can only stand to hear him talk about Osmanthus wine for a couple times before you want to throw yourself off a cliff…”
“Yeah, I know what that’s like.” The Traveler says and sighs.
“But like Zhongli said, it’s been a while since my last visit… so I thought I’d visit my absolute favorite neighboring nation!”
“Liyue is Mondstat’s only neighboring nation, Venti…”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“...Very well.” Zhongli cuts that conversation short. “If you’d like, I could show you around the harbor for a while. Since you last came here, I’m sure you’ll find many things have changed.”
The four friends walk together towards the city. Zhongli and Venti walk side by side, discussing the events of the last couple months; Dvalin’s corruption, the encounter with Azhdaha, the Fatui, their lost positions as Archons. The Traveler and Paimon stay back slightly, laughing quietly, watching their strange dynamic; Venti annoys the taller man on purpose, throwing insults and pushing him as they walk, but he doesn’t budge, composure as sturdy as ever.
As they reach the harbor, they settle at a table at Wangmin restaurant. They order some food for Paimon and open the bottle of wine. Some time passes while they talk about random things.
“Well, as I was saying, this Osmanthus wine tastes slightly different… the new owner of the Dawn Winery must’ve changed-”
“Mister Zhongli, Traveler!”
They look over to the side as three young teens approach their table.
“Hahaha, you’re friends with kids now, Morax? I’d never thought…”
“Ah, youngsters. Hello there.” Zhongli greets. He looks to his ex-Archion friend. “Venti, this is Xiangling, the owner of this restaurant; Xingqui, son of the Guild Manager of the Feiyun Commerce Guild, and Chongyun, a skilled exorcist.” He looks at the teens. “This is an old friend of mine from Mondstat, Venti.”
“Nice to meet you, Venti!” The blue haired girl says cheerfully.”I hope you enjoy your stay here in Liyue!”
“Uh… is that wine you’re drinking? Aren’t you too young for that?” Xingqiu asks doubtfully.
Venti feigns a shocked expression. “What?? Too young?? Of course not! Honestly, these laws make no sense at all. How could you ever deprive someone from the fabulous taste of wine and the warm feeling it provides…” Venti looks at the kids mischievously, and Zhongli can almost read his mind.
“Venti, no.”
The bard ignores him completely. “Hey, why don’t you guys try some?? Trust me, it’s the best.”
“Barba- Venti! That is incredibly irresponsible. Human children cannot handle alcohol in their system like that.”
The teens look at each other. “..Human?”
Chongyun pipes in, “I don’t know if it’ll be good for my yang energy levels…”
“Oh don’t worry about that! If anything, it’ll just make it better, I swear!”
“Chongyun brightens at that. “Wait… really?? Can this be a substitute for my popsicles??”
The traveler, much like the old consultant, is concerned about all this. “Chongyun… I don’t know. Yang energy changes your behavior, but so will this…”
“I don’t care! I’m so sick of popsicles!” He snatches the bottle from Venti’s hands. “Give me that!”
“That’s the spirit, I guess…” The bard says.
“Yeah, I’m down too!” Xiangling takes three cups from behind the counter.
“Just a glass can’t hurt, I suppose…” Xingqiu says hesitantly.
“Honestly, do you guys have no parents?” Paimon asks.
Turns out it was not just a glass. Zhongli should’ve expected it to turn out like this; Barbatos was never really the best at restraining himself or others around him. He is the God of Freedom for something after all.
The worst part was he did not feel inebriated at all, compared to the rest of them. He was surrounded by children who could not handle alcohol at all, and Venti, who also took the form of a teenager, and was now speaking at an incredibly loud volume. Celestia, he was feeling quite embarrassed to be seen with them; this was not the kind of reputation he was looking for. Thankfully the traveler decided to sit this one out (he would’ve allowed nothing else, after what happened last time.) Lost in his own thoughts, Zhongli drew himself away from the conversation, which had shifted to another topic now. He focuses back to try to get a grip on what they’re talking about. Xinqiu’s talking now:
“Yes, then I finally defeated the abyss mage. Though, I was left with some pretty nasty burns…”
Chongyun frowns with concern. He seems to be losing control of his emotions already. “What?? But… you’re ok now, right?”
Xinqiu smiles reassuredly. “Worry not! There was a Statue of the Seven nearby, so I was quickly healed.”
Zhongli smiles proudly. He was glad for the existence of the Statues of the Serven; through them, he could provide blessings to his people, offer them protection and gratitude for their belief in his power. “Ah, yes… We have Rex Lapis to thank for you being alright now, I suppose.” He sees the traveler hiding a smile and Paimon and Venti failing to stifle a chuckle.
“That’s true… whenever my energy becomes excessive, I go to a Statue and it subdues really fast. I guess Rex Lapis saved me from pretty embarrassing situations many times…”
For some reason, at that moment, the attention shifts to Xiangling, who has a pensive expression on her face.
Since no one else is gonna say it… ”She pauses, like she's considering if she actually wants to continue. “Isn’t Rex Lapis kind of a daddy?”
Venti erupts into a thunderous laugh; the Traveler covers their mouth quickly, Chongyun and Paimon make incredulous expressions. Chongyun speaks up first, face red:
“X-Xiangling!! Isn’t that like… blasphemy?? Rex Lapis could be listening to you right now!”
“Don’t worry, isn’t he dead?”
Xingqiu,who showed no reaction to the conversation, looks up at that. “Heh… I mean, weren't we just talking about how Rex Lapis just healed me a few hours ago? I don’t think he’s dead guys…”
Oops. There goes that.
He continues “But nevermind that… Xiangling’s got a point.”
“Right?? I mean, have you seen his statue??”
“Yes… I bet when Rex Lapis walked around here, he had all the girls and the gays after him.”
Zhongli is decidedly confused now. A daddy??
There were absolutely no records of Rex Lapis ever being a feather to anyone. Well, that’s because he WAS NEVER a father to anyone. Did the common folk read his stories about the Yaksha and assume he was a father figure to them? That’s the only assumption he could make…
So, due to both curiosity and concern, Zhongli voices his concerns.
“I… don’t think there were ever records of Rex Lapis being a father figure to anyone.”
Then, everyone’s looking at him like he’s a particularly nasty hilichurl or something.
Venti´s laugh booms again. “HAHAHA! Oh, Zhongli, you just get better and better!”
He frowns at that. “...What? I-”
Before he could continue, a female voice sounded from behind their table.
“Ayia! You didn’t even think to invite me, did you??”
The Traveler looks up. “Hu Tao, hey. What are you doing here so late?”
“Ah, I was seeing if there were any spirits around!”
Chongyun looks up once more. “Ah! Sprits? Do you mean evil ones?”
“Ah, my young friend! Are you interested in spirits too? Say… If so, would you be interested in a partnership of any kind?”
Zhongli interrupts here before she goes any further. “Hu Tao, please don’t bother Chongyun.”
“Aiya, Mister Zhongli… don’t be like that, it’s just business stuff. It’s not like you’re helping with anything business related. Actually, business’s been real good! I guess we have the Geo Daddy to thank for that, still watching over the city’s commerce, even after retiring…”
Geo Daddy??
”Anyway, it’s not like you really need your paycheck. Your Fatui sugar daddy can buy anything you want…”
Oh, not again.
He looks to his boss. “Hu Tao, what do you mean? Childe is not a father figure to me in the slightest…”
Once again, the table seems to find puzzlement very entertaining, as they break into loud laughing fits.
“I… don’t understand! Is daddy some kind of code word?” This doesn’t help the situation.
Venti, between laughs, manages to get his words out.
“Oh, you old blockhead… I’m telling you, you just get better and better! Hahaha…”