Chapter Text
Balancing the book on her palm, her thumb pressing into the center between the pages, she scanned over the spell. Or rather- the two spells expertly meshed together. Ulla always had more magical prowess so it wasn't difficult to believe that with nothing else to do she was able to defy the very laws they operated under.
"Can it work?"
She glanced up to see Hugo walking over, nervously fidgeting with his goggles. Donella nodded and returned her gaze to the paper, expecting him to turn away, but there he stayed. "Do you-" Her voice died off, clearing her throat she continued, "Do you need anything?"
Silence between them, a few feet became worlds apart. There was too much to say- it all came up as nothing anyways, even before all this. Hugo shook his head, gesturing to the book. "I uh- I learned a little magic on the trials. Didn't tell you about it because- it doesn't matter." Because she would have probably lectured him about it for the better part of an afternoon.
"Hm," The woman scowled, a little wrinkle appearing between her eyes as she glanced away.
"Don-" It felt foreign to say her name, especially the nickname he had given her, though he knew now he simply stole it from another before him. It felt like he didn't deserve it, not after all the pain he caused. "I want to help you. I can- I can help you do this."
"No."
There was no sugar-coating, no softening of the blow, just a short one-syllable phrase that made his face fall. "But-"
"Hugo!" Her tone hardened, eyes narrowed slightly as she looked up. He wasn't used to seeing this side of her, sure she was cold and distant for most of his life but this had an undercurrent of desperation- practically begging him to drop it- that he only saw when he asked about the Library in detail. "This is not up for discussion. Go back to your friends, we can talk later."
"Stop treating me like some little kid for Demanitus' sake!" The boy snapped and took a step forwards, almost so he could reach out and snatch the book from her hands, "I completed the seven trials! I learned magic all on my own! Why can't you just let me help you?!"
"Because magic took everything from me!" She half-shouted half-shrieked, which made Hugo take a step back- eyes wide with fear. Donella never yelled, he could count how many times she had at him on one hand. "Look at what it did to me!" Her movements were jerky and fast as she motioned to her cheek before her arm extended towards the woman standing on the other side of the barrier.
Ulla and the rest of the kids suddenly found the ceiling, floor, walls, or what have you, extremely interesting.
"Look at what it did to her!" For a moment, their eyes locked and Donella felt her palm shake before she pulled back her arm and clenched her fingers into a fist. She took a breath, forced her volume to come back down. "This is not me treating you like some little kid. I know you're capable, I know you can hold your own." She rested a hand on his shoulder. Hugo's bottom lip quivered. "This is me treating you like my kid. And I'll be damned if I let you make the same mistakes-"
Her words were cut off as Hugo lunged at her, wrapping his arms around her middle and squeezing tightly. Awkwardly patting his head, she returned the gesture quickly and glanced away- all too aware of who was watching.
After they pulled apart, as in Donella started to squirm a little and he knew better than to keep her there, Hugo forced a smile. The woman's words were muffled as she nudged his shoulder, telling him to go reconvene with his friends. He opened his mouth, wanting to ask to stay by her side, but nothing came out.
His eyes pleaded, I want to be close to you, but it seemed like the words fell into the hole in his chest that widened with every inch of distance between them. "Alright, Don." He finally got out and turned, hurrying over to the portal, this feeling of emptiness clawing at his stomach.
Walking over to the barrier, her breath caught in her throat as Ulla smiled at her. This grin that took over her face, made her blue eyes squint. "Double checking my work like always, ey Donnie?"
"Don't call me that," The malice in her words came out, shocking the both of them. Taking a breath, she pressed her lips together and sighed. "Don't pretend that things can be like they were if this works."
"Well, it'll be a little different," Her tone was so chipper it almost made Donella nod along, "We'll be here or back on the road and-" She lifted a hand and pressed it to the barrier with a grin, "We can be together. Right?"
"I-" Only moments ago had they confessed, in a whirlwind of tears and adrenaline. She watched how Ulla's expression faltered.
"Did you just say it to get me to calm down?" She whispered and it pretty much split Donella's heart clean open. Did you just say you loved me so I'd stop?
"No I- I meant it I just- It's complicated. It wouldn't have been if you were going to die like I thought but now..." She stared at the book and shook her head, "Now, I don't know."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know if I can ever look at you again and not-" Those blue eyes, they cut through her, she pressed a hand to her cheek and rubbed the raised skin absentmindedly. "And not remember. I'm pissed at you and I hate you and I hate myself for hurting you. And I love you and- and it's all true."
A pause, Ulla slowly brought her hand away from the barrier and fidgeted with her fingers. "I understand," She whispered, deflated. The taller was already turning away when she spoke again. "But Don- Donella," Force of habit, the name was so foreign on her tongue. She couldn't remember the last time she used it- even when she was angry- even when she hated her or tried to. She was still her Donnie. "I'm sorry. For everything."
And those green eyes just stared at her before closing for a while and turning away, "I'm sorry too. For everything. I wish that was enough." Her face was burning, she was burning. "But if this doesn't work- if it hurts you and we don't get to talk again." She faced the barrier, swallowed the broken fragments of her pride, and pressed a hand to the hazy surface. "Just know that I love you, okay?"
Her palm rested where Donella's was, so close yet so far, "I love you." She mumbled and pressed a little harder, trying to feel the other's heat through what separated them. Nothing. Just the hum of the barrier, ever-present. A nod, "Okay?"
She returned the gesture, they separated and walked away, as if facing the opposite ends of a tightrope, balancing on a string of fate.
Taking in a breath, she rolled her head a little on her neck and glanced at the spell again. Back when they were younger this would have been a breeze, but admittedly she was purposefully out of practice. Lifting a hand, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to focus. A familiar warmth coursed through her veins, she could feel the power in the air- amplified further by the Library itself. Small green sparks danced across her fingertips, the light reflecting off her features before she nodded as if seeking approval from who knows what.
Here goes nothing.
The book closed, she set it down and flexed her wrists a bit. Her gaze traveled upwards as she moved her hands, both a new and practiced motion if such a thing could exist. In her mind's eye, she could see the Library all those years ago, wrapped up in a blue glow as gemstones littered the air. She could feel the pain in her cheek, threatening to bring her to her knees. She could remember- what she'd give to forget.
A scream ripped through her just as the first crack in the green film appeared, then another, then another as it splintered like glass and shards clattered to the floor. The curse, the corrupted permanent curse, was breaking. The children huddled close together, averting their eyes to the brightness but Ulla didn't waver. It was beautiful, she always saw magic that way. It was eerily powerful, alluring like a flame to a moth. Light poured over them, eventually fading along with the commotion. Silence.
Slowly, she inhaled and walked to the invisible limit. Her hand shook as she reached out to touch the air, only to find that her fingertips were stopped by nothing.
A laugh escaped her lips that then turned into a squeal. The woman jumped and shook her fists in the air in delight. Her real fists- she was real again. Touching her cheeks, she felt it as she felt skin, not this weirdly fuzzy touch. Her eyes were bright, smile taking over her face as she turned to her former partner- ready to practically shower her with every compliment under the sun when she faltered.
Donella swayed on her feet, her chest heaved and she stumbled a bit. Her gaze was dull. "Huh- didn't think that'd work," She muttered, another stumble. Hugo's voice in her ear but she couldn't quite make out what he was saying over this low buzzing noise. Blinking, her eyelids were heavy.
Air pushed out from her lips, her knees buckled, the ground fell away.
~~
The first thing she felt was the softness of the mattress, next a hand on her own. It was squeezing, uncalloused, and almost dainty- Hugo. There was quiet chatter in the room but she couldn't hear his voice which was- odd since he always had something to say.
She squeezed, a touch barely there at first but the boy immediately jumped up and silenced everyone else in the room, which- granted were only Varian, his mother, and a stream of castle staff and nurses. "Don?" He whispered and held her palm with both his own, gripping her fingers like he was scared of her slipping away again. "Don- say something!"
Her eyes squinted open, the light was harsh from above. She looked over, wiggled her grasp out of his, and reached up to wipe some crumbs from the corner of his mouth. "Would it kill you to wash your face after breakfast?"
Her voice was gravelly, shaky- but it was strong and snippy and so so her that he felt tears welling up in his eyes as he leaned into the touch. "What would I do without you?"
"Don...ella," She breathed out and then corrected quickly. Standing in the room, Ulla hovered at the other side of the bed. Well- not actually hovered. She didn’t do that anymore. Things had changed since she was freed, things about her body. Her hair was fading at the top, sight starting to wane just a touch- her face had faint creasing around her smile and eyes, her joints ached some days. She was aging, faster than most as if trying to make up for lost time- as if trying to catch up. It didn’t happen all at once, gradual but still accelerated.
While she wasn't the best at picking up on things, Hugo had been giving her the death glare since they left the Library so- she assumed it was in their best interest to be apart. Plus at that side, she wasn’t staring right at her scars, the two lines on the other’s cheek that made her stomach twist into knots.
At the voice, she turned her head and her face lit up which shocked pretty much everyone in the room except herself. Varian shot a glance over at his friend as if to ask if this lady was the same person who had been following them all those months. She sat up quickly, despite Hugo's hand on her shoulder trying to guide her back down. "What's with the name?" Donella replied in an almost joking manner and tilted her head.
Those blue eyes blinked at her, Ulla wrung her fingers and her voice grew almost meek. "You uh- you told me to call you that, remember?"
Squinting, she wrinkled her nose in this way the shorter always found utterly adorable when she thought really hard. "No I- I don't. Was I mad at you?"
Three pairs of eyes met from around the bed, much to the woman's confusion as she sat there.
"What are you lot keeping from me?" Her tone was almost warning but Hugo couldn't quite figure it out. In the depths of his memory, he recognized it as when she'd call for him around the lab despite catching a glimpse of his hair or hearing his giggle moments prior. A game of pretend hide-and-seek. It was almost- teasing.
Ulla sat down at the edge of the bed, "What's the last thing you remember?"
"Is this some sort of joke?" She started to gain more awareness of where she was, Corona. Her eyes landed on Varian, not too sure why the boy shuddered when she did so. "Don't you two have better things to do?"
"Donella- Donnie just- just humor me." Her tone almost sounded distressed but she sucked in a breath and held it so long her freckled face was starting to turn a bit pink. Exhaling, she motioned for her to speak.
An eye-roll from her, Hugo found himself smiling at that. At least she seemed okay- if not a bit confused but hey, he couldn't blame her. "You were leaving the Library for your monthly visit to Corona but at the last minute, you asked Hugo and me to tag along. Varian needed some help with a project and- why are you all looking at me like that?"
"Well- you see, Don," Hugo started, trying to figure out how to tell her she basically just made up the past before Ulla flung herself over the mattress to shove him and get him to stop. "What the- hey-"
"Nothing!" She interrupted and flashed that wide smile, motioning for the boys to step out into the hall. "Nothing, Donnie, just a little practical joke. Haha!" She blinked her eyelashes as if that could help, watching as the woman pulled a confused face that looked more like a scowl.
"I don't get it."
"It wasn't a very good joke- anyways give us a moment." Despite Donella's protests, the other climbed over her legs, grabbed both boys by whatever limb or article of clothing was closest, and dragged them into the hall.
The door shut, she spun around on her heel to find Varian rubbing his wrist and Hugo his neck. Oh right- she stared down at her hands- strength control. Gotta remember that. "Okay, nobody panic!" But her eyes were wide and she already started pacing back and forth.
"You're the one who's panicking," Hugo replied with a little snark and took the shorter boy's wrist, soothing the skin with his thumb.
"I only got a body three days ago! Doesn't count yet!" She crossed her arms as if to say 'so there!’ A moment passed between the three of them before Varian spoke up.
"So should I get the Royal Doctor to take a look or-"
"Wouldn't help," Ulla replied rather brazenly and muttered to herself under her breath.
Hugo bristled at this, "You don't even know what medicine is like now- maybe you should-"
"There's nothing wrong with her physically."
The blond practically sputtered out his words, "Nothing wr- She's forgotten the last seventeen years!"
"Mhm! But why did she forget?" The woman tilted her head as she waited for an answer, the boys glanced at each other before she spoke for them, "Magic, duh! Gosh, I didn't realize how out of practice she was- she always got in her head, you know? Thought about other things while casting and it'd mess her up. One time-"
"Can we-" Hugo cleared his throat, forcing his voice to lower as he didn't expect himself to yell, "Focus on getting her memories back?"
"It's nothing a little science can't solve!" Varian seemed almost giddy as he pointed down the hall and started to walk, "We'll go to the library- the one in the castle- I'm sure there's a book-"
"It's magic," She corrected and stepped in front of them, watching as her son scoffed and shook his head. "The answer's not gonna just be in some book since I wrote the spell and-"
"Then I'm sure there's an alchemical way to do it, after all- it's not like magic's actually real." A little shrug from the boy as he tucked his thumbs into his pockets, "I've decoded magical scrolls before, they're all rooted in alchemy."
"Magic and alchemy work together. Does hydrogen not exist once it combines with oxygen?"
"I-" Varian paused, he stumbled a bit over his words before groaning and turning to Hugo who was very much aware of the boy's- opinions on the subject. "My own mother- can you believe it?"
Though Ulla didn't seem the slightest bit bothered and grinned at the two, "You're just like Donnie, she always found it a bit ridiculous too. But once we started reading Demanitus' work she came around."
"Demanitus was an engineer!"
"And a very gifted magic user- he was actually the first person to combine alchemy and magic and-" She jabbered on much to Varian's anguish.
"Demanitus too! Is nothing sacred?" He groaned and grabbed Hugo's arm, dragging him down the hall in the direction of the library.