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Charlie
"And I met a new friend at school today. His name his Charlie and he gave me one of his hob nobs for lunch and we both like Mario Kart and he's never seen My Neighbor Totoro, so can he come over this weekend to watch it pleeeeease?"
Yan smiled at her very excited son. "We'll have to talk to his parents first, but you can have a movie night if they say yes."
"Thanks mum! I love you!" Tao gave her a quick hug before dashing up to his room.
"And you have to finish your homework first!" she called up the stairs.
Well. A new friend was exciting news indeed. Going to a new school is always hard, and Tao had always been a unique kid, creative and sensitive and painfully non-athletic. Outside of home, he could be painfully shy. She hoped he would try theater camp this summer, but a new friend was certainly a good start.
That Saturday, a slight boy with dark curly hair stood at her door, his dad protectively behind him.
"You must be Charlie!" she exclaimed. Please, come in!"
"Hi, Mrs. Xu," the boy said softly. "Thank you for letting me come over."
"Absolutely! Tao is just in the kitchen popping popcorn if you want to join him," she said, pointing.
"Thanks!" Charlie said, scampering off.
"Thanks again for having Charlie over, Mrs. Xu," said the father.
"Please, call me Yan. It's no trouble. I'm just glad to see Tao making friends."
He laughed. "Julio, then. It's a relief to see Charlie find a friend too. His last friend moved away over the summer and it's been tough on him."
"I understand. Is there anything else I need to know about Charlie?"
"You have our numbers if anything comes up. He can be a bit particular about food, but no allergies to worry about. I'll be back to pick him up at 8?"
"That works for us. I think Tao already planned out their whole schedule. I just have to make the pizza appear at the right time," Yan laughed.
Julio smiled. "No wonder they get along so well. Charlie's usually pretty organized as well. I've got to run to pick up his sister, but again, thank you so much."
"Absolutely!"
In the kitchen, she could hear the boys giggling. With a smile, she closed the door behind Julio. She had a good feeling about this new friend.
Elle
Charlie and Tao had been attached at the hip for months now. Most weekends, they either were at Yan's house, watching movies, or at Charlie's, playing Mario Kart. She had learned that Charlie preferred cheese pizza, was happy to help bake but didn't have a terribly strong sweet tooth and he was great at math. Tao's grades had actually improved.
Tao was sitting at the kitchen counter with a snack, his feet kicking at the legs of the stool. "So Charlie made a new friend in art class, and at first I was worried that it would mean he wasn't going to be my friend anymore." He paused to eat another cookie. "But we've all had lunch together a few times, and El is really funny and nice. Can I have them both over this weekend?"
"Same rules as Charlie - as long as El's parents are ok with it."
"Thanks, mum! I'll get you their number."
She smiled and ruffled his hair.
Saturday afternoon, El arrived, accompanied by a tall woman holding a small tub of cookies. "Thanks for letting El come over. I've heard all about Tao and Charlie already."
Yan smiled. "Thanks for letting El come over! Tao's been talking about it for days!"
"El, can you go join the others while Yan and I chat?" said Miriam.
"Sure thing, mum," said El with a small smile.
Miriam waited while El went into the living room, and then sighed. "So I don't know what your son has told you, but I've unfortunately learned that it's best to just pull the plaster off. I know they met at school, and there are some logical assumptions, but Elle is my daughter, not my son."
Yan paused, surprised. "Oh, ok. Thank you for letting me know. I can see why that's a very nerve-wracking thing as a parent."
Miriam sagged in relief. "We love Elle and want to support her, but it's been hard. She only told us earlier this year, and it's been a steep learning curve for all of us."
Yan gave a soft smile. "Elle is always safe and welcome here. I promise. Are there any food restrictions I need to know about?"
"No, we don't keep halal, and no allergies to speak of."
"Perfect! Tao asked for pizza tonight, but sometimes we do dumplings or bao. I try to leave it up to them."
Miriam smiled. "As much as I appreciate living here, I will never understand how the British managed to miss the actual point of spices while shipping them around the world."
Laughing, Yan shrugged. "It's better than it was 10 years ago, as long as you ignore Paul Hollywood."
"Oh! That reminds me! These are kahk. We usually make them for Eid, but Elle really wants Tao and Charlie to try them." She handed over the tub of powdery white biscuits. "Sorry for the mess they make."
"They're kids. Messes are inevitable. Though speaking of messes, I should go see how much of a disaster my kitchen is after they've finished making popcorn."
"It was lovely to meet you, Yan, and thank you again."
Yan waved as she shut the door, carrying the container of sweets into the kitchen, which predictably, looked like it had been struck by a tornado, with bags strewn on the counter and cabinets left open.
"Tao? Can you come throw away your popcorn bags?"
"Sorry mum!"
"Sorry Yan!"
She shook her head and smiled as they sheepishly came back to finish cleaning up. "Elle, your mum gave me the biscuits - they're on the counter. Try not to get too much powdered sugar on the couch."
"Thanks Mrs. Xu."
"Please, call me Yan. Does anyone want tea?"
—
Issac
It wasn't long before Issac joined the group, a quiet, bookish lad full of love and joy. Yan smiled, watching her son vehemently defending why O Brother Where Art Thou should have won the Academy Award for cinematography over Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Yan was quietly of the opinion the correct film won, but they were clearly enjoying the debate.
When they had first moved, she had worried Tao's intense opinions would make it difficult to make friends, but he had found his people. Of course, being teenagers was not going to be easy, but it warmed her heart to see them all on the floor of his room once a month as school permitted.
—
Out
She stood outside Tao's door, laundry basket on her hip, preparing to knock. But hearing the heartbroken sobs of Charlie, she withdrew and waited.
"I don't know how anyone found out," he sobbed. "They're just… so awful."
Tao murmured something soothing. She carefully set the basket outside the door and went downstairs to make tea, trying not to interrupt a clearly difficult conversation.
Eventually, Julio came to pick up Charlie, red-rimmed eyes giving away some of the earlier distress, quiet but sad. She sat at the table with a plate of biscuits and waited.
Tao sat down, stonily silent for a moment. Yan knew her son and didn't push him to talk. He would when and if he was ready.
"Why are people such crap?" came the outburst. "Like, it doesn't affect them! It's just… Charlie!"
She patted his shoulder. "Well, sometimes people have been taught things that are wrong. And sometimes they think that belittling others will make them seem bigger. People are complicated, love."
"How complicated is it to just leave people alone?"
"I don't know, sweetie. But I'm glad Charlie has you to help look out for him." He sighed and laid his head on her shoulder. Oh, it hurt her heart to see her boy learning these lessons, but how much he loved his friends made her so incredibly proud. She could only be there as a shoulder for him when he needed it and a safe place for the group to spend time together.
"I wish that there was more I could do," he said sadly. "But Charlie won't go to the teachers, and I'm not in all the same classes. And then he hides away during lunch, or he and Elle both hide in the art room."
"You can only be there for Charlie and help him reach out to the people who can help. Sometimes you need the adults to step in. What about the art teacher, Mr. Ajayi? Does he know?"
"No, I don't think Charlie's even told him"
"Well, maybe you can suggest that to him, since he seems to be a safer adult for Charlie to talk to."
Tao gave a weak smile. "Thanks, Mum. I'll try to suggest it."
—
Fashion
By now, Yan's home had an open door policy for Tao's friends, whether or not he was home. So when the doorbell rang while Tao was at theater rehearsal, she wasn't terribly surprised to see Elle at her door.
"Elle! Darling! Come in. Would you like a cuppa?"
Elle embraced Yan. "Please!"
"Tao won't be home for another hour, but come, tell me, how are things going?"
"Actually, I came over to talk to you."
"Oh really? Let me put the kettle on." Yan started the water, pulling down mugs and the biscuit tin. "What did you want to talk about?"
"Um, clothes, actually. Like, I love my mum, but her clothes are just so… boring?"
Yan chuckled lightly. Miriam had definitely settled on a uniform of slightly baggy black clothes years ago. "Well, you're a bit tall for my pants, but I have some boxes of things I was going to take to the charity shops. What kind of things are you thinking about?"
Elle's eyes lit up. "So I really want to play more with color. And like, maybe getting a little more brave with cuts?" Yan grinned.
"You certainly have the figure for it, love! Oh, and your skin will look so good with brighter colors. I have some scarves you can borrow."
"Also, what on earth is going on with sizing? For the Truham uniforms, it's a measurement. But when I go to the charity shops, I have no idea what the numbers mean," said Elle, sipping her tea as Yan set the mug in front of her.
"Alas, my dear, one of the great mysteries of womanhood. There is no rhyme or reason, let alone consistency."
"I was looking at vintage clothes online, but I realized I couldn't figure out if anything would fit."
"We can take your measurements so you have them, but also, we can go shopping. There's really no better way than practice."
"Really?! Mum is really no help there."
"Absolutely! It's not like Tao is any fun to take shopping, so I don't get to do it for fun often. How are your classes, my love?
Yan and Elle kept talking while they finished their tea, before rummaging through Yan's closet. That's how Tao found them when he came home, Elle wearing a bright yellow scarf around her hair and one of Yan's accidentally shrunken wool jumpers that was a little bit of a crop on Elle.
"Oh wow, you look great!" said Yan.
"That's a fun outfit," said Tao. "I see my mother is trying to steal my friends again," he said to Elle, who giggled.
"Well, I don't see you offering to take me shopping!"
Tao shuddered. "No no no no, please, take my mum. Ugh."
Yan smiled. Her son was much more concerned with how his clothes felt than looked, though he was willing to try a bolder look if she bought it for him, but she was excited to get to share fashion with Elle.
—--
Higgs
The week Elle started at Higgs, Yan heard a lot of extra sighing and early 2000s indie music coming from her son's room. With a small smile, she revised her dinner plans. Clearly, it was time to break out the comfort foods.
"Tao! Dinner time!"
Tao trudged down the stairs, perking up at the smell of frying garlic and ginger and orange peel. "Mum, you didn't have to make me orange beef."
"I'm just celebrating having you back at school! How are things going?"
Tao sighed and poked at his food. "Fine." Yan didn't pry. He would get things off his chest eventually, all she could do was create the space for him to talk. "I know Elle being at Higgs is a good thing, but I miss her. I mean, I'm glad she doesn't have to deal with the same crap, but now it's just the three of us. Well, four if you count Issac's book. But Issac volunteers in the library, and Charlie just… vanishes sometimes. And then it's just me. And I don't have either of them in form anymore"
"How are the new form rooms?"
"Ugh, the worst. I'm seated with a bunch of Year 9s who are convinced I'm going to bite their heads off, and the next table is a bunch of the Year 11 rugby lads. They're just constantly whispering and it's impossible to get anything done."
"Well, maybe Charlie or Issac will make a new friend in their room that can be part of your little group," suggested Yan gently.
"But I don't want to replace Elle! I just want things to be the way they were. Just minus the people being crap."
Yan smiled at her son. "Oh sweetie, I know change is hard, but there's a lot of changes for all of you. You're taller practically every time I look at you, and soon enough you're going to be going off to uni. The change that happens now is all just part of getting ready to be adults."
Tao frowned. "You're saying it's going to get worse?"
"No, I'm saying it's going to be different. Whether that's a good or bad thing can be up to you. Don't you want to see who your friends will blossom into?"
He sighed again. "I just don't want to get left behind while they're off finding themselves. I already know who I am."
Yan laughed. "Love, you've known exactly who you were since you were four and telling me why The Jungle Book had better animation than Beauty and the Beast."
"I still can't believe I watched Disney," he said, pretending to grimace.
"Oh shush, you loved that movie."
Tao laughed, finally relaxing a bit. "Thanks, mum."
"Just doing my job," said Yan with a smile. Her poor boy. Being a teenager is hard.
—--
Changes
Of course, more changes came as the term continued. At half-term break, Yan found Tao laying on the couch, watching a film alone. She sat down next to him on the couch, looking at the screen, trying to remember what on earth this film was. Tao moved to curl up against her, a rare moment of her teenage son seeking comfort. She gently kissed his head.
"Charlie's spending all his time with his stupid new friend Nick Nelson. He even joined the rugby team! Charlie!" Tao grumbled and shifted.
"I'm sorry, love." Yan quietly tried to remember why that name seemed familiar.
"And he's a rugby lad! I just don't understand why Charlie wants to spend time with him!"
Ah, it must be Sarah's son. She talked about him at book club sometimes. He sounded like a nice lad, but she knew mothers could be biased.
"Have you tried getting to know Nick?" she asked.
"Why? He and his friends just chuck stuff at people. And some of the guys he hangs out with were the ones bullying Charlie last year."
"Well, maybe there's more to Nick."
"I mean, he's nice to Charlie. Which is almost worse, because now Charlie has this ridiculous crush on him, and I'm pretty sure Nick is a ginormous heterosexual."
"Are you friends with any of his other friends?" asked Yan, remembering the complicated gossip networks of her own youth.
"Yeah, Otis was in the play with me."
"Maybe ask him about Nick?" Yan suggested.
"That's… not a bad idea. Thanks, mum."
Tao pulled out his phone and started typing. Yan pulled up her feet and reached over to steal some popcorn.
—--
Movies
The next week was a movie night with the group again. Charlie and Issac arrived first, Tao answering the door, shouting "Mum, I've got it!"
About five minutes later, there was a quiet knock on the door. Judging by the volume of debate coming from upstairs, Yan knew her son hadn't heard, so she answered the door. "Elle! My love! Tell me everything! How is Truham?"
Elle smiled and embraced Yan. "It's good. It's very different from Truham. Lunchtime has a lot fewer airborne sandwiches."
Yan chuckled. "Are you finding new friends?"
"Don't tell Tao, but not really yet." Elle sighed. "It's hard enough being the new girl, without…" Yan nodded. "But I'm still glad I made the change."
"Well, I suspect you'll find your new friends soon enough. You're a lovely girl, and I'm sure that someone will see that. Your hair is marvelous, by the way!"
"Thanks! It's so nice finally getting to grow it out properly!"
"Ok, I should probably let you go upstairs before Tao accuses me of stealing you away." Yan gave Elle another quick hug. Elle grinned and scampered up the stairs. She loved all of her son's friends, but Elle held a special place in her heart. She was really blossoming into a wonderful young woman. Her optimism and sunny disposition somehow meshed with Tao's sharpness and idealism.
In the morning, Charlie and Issac's parents came first, leaving Elle and Tao quietly bickering at the table over their mugs of tea. Yan paid no attention to the topic, but noticed that when one of them looked away, the other one got a quiet shy smile. Ahhh. Someone else had noticed Elle growing up too.
When Miriam came to pick Elle up, Tao waited on the stairs, watching her leave, before fleeing up to his room again. Yan wondered how long it would take before he realized his own changing feelings for his friend.
—-
Two
It was the usual week of movie night, but Tao was sulking because Charlie had decided to go to, as he said "some idiotic popular kid party chasing his golden retriever." Yan's heart hurt for her boy, struggling with all of the changes in his friends this term. She was relieved when Elle arrived at the usual time. She left them alone for a while to wait for Issac. Hopefully Elle could help Tao out of his funk.
She poked her head in the room. "I was going to get pizzas. Have you heard anything from Issac?"
"He's sick, apparently," said Tao grumpily.
"Oh, you get to spend some time with just the two of you then," said Yan happily. She'd discovered many years ago that sometimes the best way to get Tao out of a dark and stormy mood was to ignore it all together. She noticed Elle's shy glance at Tao as she left the door open a crack behind her.
The pair came downstairs to grab pizza and take it back to his room, deep in a conversation about why so many great movies had to be sad. "Without conflict, how do you have character development?" said Tao.
"You can have conflict and still have a happy ending!" countered Elle. "Characters can grow into the person they were always meant to be instead of being crushed by the world!"
Yan wondered if Tao had ever thought about how conflict and character development related to his current woes. She filed the idea away later for the next time he was bemoaning everything changing.
—-
Monopoly
Yan waited outside the stadium in her car to pick up Tao, hoping he hadn't gotten too drenched in the earlier downpour. In the distance, she saw him hugging Elle as Miriam picked her and Issac up, a lingering glance as the car pulled away. Climbing into the front seat, Tao immediately shifted into sullen teenager mode, staring out his window.
"How was the game?" asked Yan.
"Atrocious! The other team were literal adult men, and Charlie got injured."
"Oh no! Anything major?"
"He said just a bloody nose and some bruises. But you know Charlie. He won't let anyone know he's hurting until his leg falls off, and even then he'll insist on hopping." Tao went back to staring at the road.
Yan gave a small chuckle. "You know, you can't solve all of your friends' problems for them." She expected a noncommittal grunt, but apparently her son really needed to vent.
"But it feels like our friendship group is falling apart! Charlie is spending all his time with Nick who is just messing him around. I mean, he's going on a date with a girl next Saturday! I bet he doesn't even realize it's Charlie's birthday!"
"Isn't everyone still coming over tomorrow?"
"Yeah, Charlie promised not to blow us off again."
"That's good. You know, as you get older, life is going to get more complicated. It's just part of growing up. Think of it as… developing the characters in the film of your life. Conflict and change may not be fun to live through, but it's part of writing the story of your lives."
Tao sighed. "I don't have to enjoy it."
Yan smiled. "No, you don't have to, but maybe try to understand that your friends aren't changing because they're bored of you, they're changing because it's what they have to do to grow up. Do you really want to stay 15 forever?"
"God no! Being a teenager is awful!"
"It's not all awful, love. You get to experience a lot of things for the first time, and I envy you those moments. First loves, first kisses… first girlfriends?"
"Mum!"
"What? I'm just saying they will happen eventually."
Tao grumbled. "That seems unlikely to happen before uni," he muttered under his breath. Yan pretended not to hear. Nothing solidified his opinions quite like having someone to argue with about them, and she hoped he would keep his eyes open to what was right in front of him.
Despite Tao's dire predictions of the imminent collapse of the group, everything was back to their usual chaos for Friday evening. Yan sat on the couch, reading the latest book club pick when she heard Charlie and Issac in the kitchen, making hot chocolate for everyone.
"So when are you going to tell them about Nick?" asked Issac.
"I'm not sure," said Charlie. "I'll see how my birthday goes, introducing him to everyone. I'm… worried about how Tao will react. He's not exactly a fan of Nick's."
"It's not going to be any easier the longer you wait to tell him."
"I just want to be confident in what I have with Nick first, I guess?"
She heard them going back upstairs. So Charlie and Nick really were an item. If Nick was half as wonderful as Sarah always made him out to be at book club, she certainly couldn't blame Charlie for being interested. But after the previous year, she understood her son's worries. Charlie had spent a lot of time crying on Tao's shoulder. She wondered if Sarah knew, or at least suspected.
That weekend, when Yan dropped Tao off at the bowling alley, she noticed her son and Elle had a new greeting that involved some seriously ridiculous dance moves, including a pretend fishing rod, culminating in a hug. She smiled. Whether they acknowledged it, there was definitely something growing there.
Actually
Yan could tell it had been a bad day by the stony silence Tao greeted her with when he got in the car. She switched off her podcast and put on the Garden State soundtrack and pretended not to notice the stray tear running down Tao's cheek. Oh, poor thing. Being a teenager was hard sometimes. Sometimes it felt like parenting them was just as hard. After years of making the world safe and fun for them, there was less and less she could do to help. She just had to trust that he would figure it out.
After dinner, he went up to his room to do homework, and she was in the kitchen doing dishes when a knock came at the door. She dried her hands and answered, seeing Elle with a small container of chocolate chip cookies.
"Elle, come in! What a lovely surprise!"
There was a thunder of footsteps as Tao tangled down the stairs.
"Hi," said Elle
"Hi?" said Tao, looking at Elle in confusion. Clearly, Elle was aware of whatever had Tao in such a foul mood this afternoon and they would either talk it out or Elle would distract him. Either way…
"Leave the door open just a tad, ok?" she said with a wink. Tao gave an exasperated sigh and rushed Elle up the stairs to his room. She knew nothing was happening between them yet, but she couldn't resist teasing her boy. The flush on Elle's face had been equally gratifying. She couldn't come out and directly tell them that she approved, of course. That would only spook whatever fragile butterflies were flying between them, but she could make sure to treat them as normally as possible. Besides, she remembered being young. Things were more exciting when you thought you were hiding them from your parents and getting away with something.
Fight
Yan's phone rang, caller ID indicating the number was from Truham.
"Hello?"
"Hi, this is Headmaster Barnes, may I speak to Ms. Xu?"
"Speaking." Yan was worried. Tao's teachers had called home once or twice over the years, usually to discuss how to get him to allow other students to contribute to the discussion, but the headmaster? What on earth had happened?
"I'm sorry to tell you that your son has gotten into a fight with an older boy at lunch today."
"Tao? Fighting? Like a fist fight?"
"Yes, ma'am. Now, based on the witness reports, he did not initiate the altercation, and is just receiving a warning and being released early. He'll be allowed to come back tomorrow."
"Who hit my child?" she asked, her voice cold and angry. If Tao didn't start it, that meant someone hit him first.
"Unfortunately, due to student privacy, I'm not allowed to divulge that information," he said smoothly. Bullshit, she thought. That just means it's one of the rich kids. "Tao is in my office waiting for your arrival."
"Fine. I'll be there shortly." Yan hung up without pleasantries. What was going on that Tao was getting into fist fights? Verbal fights, sure, but he'd never gotten physical like this before, even when he was in karate class as a small child and supposed to hit the other students. Was this just what parenting a teenage boy entailed?
She pulled up in front of the school, Tao standing outside holding his beanie and oddly damp, being glared at by some female teacher she had never met. He opened the door, head hung in shame as he slid into the seat beside her. She knew her disappointment was obvious on her face.
They pulled away in silence. She left the radio off, the only sounds the engine and the occasional gentle ticking of her indicator when they reached a turn.
"I'm sorry," whispered Tao.
"Just… what happened?"
"I was sitting alone at the table and he just came up and started talking crap. And then he stole the drawing Elle helped me with, and I was already so angry and… and I just lost it. I'm sorry."
"Why were you already angry?" asked Yan gently.
"Issac had library duty, and Charlie was meeting up with Nick and ditching me again. I… I told Charlie that we're barely friends anymore," said Tao.
"Oh honey, I'm so sorry."
"Why do relationships have to ruin everything?" he sniffed. Yan smiled sadly. Her life was not full of abundant counterexamples to Tao's claim, but still, she believed in romance.
"Charlie cares more about Nick's feelings than being my friend. I guess I just don't matter anymore." Tao trailed off into almost a whisper.
"You will always matter," she said softly. Tao just scoffed.
Yan's heart aches. She knew that for better or worse, they had to sort this out on their own. They drove the rest of the way home in silence except for the occasional sniffle from the passenger seat.
Sports Day
Things did not get better for the rest of the week. She knew Tao was also dreading the annual Truham-Higgs sports day. That morning, he woke up with a pretend cough and handed her the thermometer.
"Forty?" she asked. "You overshot. Nice try, but you aren't getting out of Sports Day that easily. Besides, Elle will be there!" Yan smiled cheerily, knowing it annoyed him, hoping that the gentle teasing might bring out her little firecracker.
Tao rolled his eyes and stomped upstairs to change into his kit without even attempting to argue. In the car, his leg bounced with nervous energy, but he was still in his quiet sullen mode like the rest of the week so far.
"Have fun at sports day, love!" she said as he got out of the car. He grunted affirmatively, but seemed to perk up spotting Issac's grin and face paint. Yan smiled as she pulled away from the school. Issac was always the quietest of the group, but it also seemed like he was super insightful. She was glad Tao had a friend like him.
When she picked him up that afternoon, he was practically beaming. He climbed into the car, giving a happy wave to Issac, Elle, and two other Higgs girls Yan thought she recognized from the rugby match.
"Did you have a good day, then?" she asked.
"Yeah, actually."
"Glad I made you come?"
He rolled his eyes and smiled. "Yes, mum. I'm glad you made me come to stupid Sports Day."
"What event did you do?"
"Well, I was supposed to run the 200 meter, but then Charlie swapped bibs with me and ran it for me and apologized for having been kind of a knob the last few weeks."
"Well, that's good."
"And then Elle and I hung out and visited all her old classrooms."
"That sounds lovely."
"Yeah. It was." Tao got a soft smile and stared out the window. Yan smiled to herself. Finally, he was starting to see what was in front of him. She said nothing, though, knowing he would deny everything. Oh, teenagers…