Work Text:
Kinn sits at the head of the table, his eyes skimming across the food laid out, sight skipping briefly across the faces around the table until they land on Porsche. His Porsche, flitting around tirelessly to finish preparations while everyone else is already seated.
Watching Porsche work has always been a pleasure for Kinn. Here, Porsche is at ease. The skills he'd learned bartending make him a formidable event planner, and managing both the staff and guests comes easily to him. While Kinn has manufactured a sort of performative elegance, Porsche wears his natural charms as a second skin. Where Kinn commands respect through sheer force of will, Porsche is offered loyalty as easily as breathing.
Kinn still isn't sure how Porsche has convinced everyone to be sitting around this table. Kim hasn't been home in months; Khun hasn't spent time around Vegas voluntarily in years; Pete is strategically placed between the cousins. That they are all together for anything short of an emergency is a miracle.
No, not a miracle—Porsche. His Porsche, beautiful and resilient. He'd insisted on trying to reconnect the family now that the adults were no longer poisoning the relationship between them, and Kinn could never refuse Porsche anything, not truly. When he'd considered that Porsche had spent so long with his own broken family and still been so glad for it, Kinn had given in entirely.
He tries, he really does, but the familiarity Vegas shows towards Porsche nags at him. Porsche places his hand on Vegas' shoulder as he reaches around him to place a dish on the table; a coil of jealousy creeps along Kinn’s spine. He will never question Porsche's loyalty again, but the seeds of animosity his father had planted still linger in his gut.
He grabs Porsche by the arm when he next passes by and pulls him in for a moment, steadying himself in the warmth of Porsche's attention. He yanks him close enough to share breath, exerting this small claim over Porsche before they are separated by a table and their guests once again.
"You're so beautiful." He's sure he meant to say something else, or for it to come out as teasing, but his own voice sounds thready and desperate.
Porsche reacts to the praise prettily as usual, either not noticing or refusing to acknowledge Kinn's weakness. Kinn watches his face darken a shade or two as he pulls back, and a wave of possessive affection briefly settles the agitation in Kinn's stomach. Kinn receives a grin for his efforts and he reluctantly releases Porsche. After a moment, Porsche leans back in for a quick kiss before he moves away.
Kinn imagines eyes on him, the sensation pulling on his fraying nerves, but when he looks around the table, no one is watching him. He blinks, and the feeling slithers away.
Porsche finishes setting the food around the table and finally settles into his own chair directly across from Kinn. Kinn still feels awkward and out of place; he has the sudden impression that it is Porsche who occupies the host's place at the center of the table and Kinn is merely a guest in his own home. Conversations emerge around him and Porsche is there smoothly engaging with everyone in turn. He soothes minor grousing from Khun and drags Kim into a conversation with Chay and Macau, never letting any conflicts at the table devolve into real anger. The tension around the table eases into something not quite relaxed, but less fragile.
Porsche has a way of focusing on whomever he was speaking to with the weight of his full attention and without the heaviness of their history. His gaze as he listens to Macau chatter about his school projects or when he meets Vegas' eye over the table never wavers or turns bitter. Sometimes Porsche's willingness to forgive in the face of simple sincerity makes Kinn's chest tighten—a sour tangled knot of frustration and jealousy that writhes just beneath his ribcage. The thorny tendrils of agitation press up and wrap around his lungs, tightening.
He closes his eyes for a moment to regain his control. When he opens them again he immediately concentrates on Porsche, refusing to let himself linger on the other faces around the table for fear that the vines in his chest will rise up and choke him.
Then he catches Porsche's eye and none of that matters.
Porsche had forgiven him, too, and it makes Kinn breathlessly grateful that Porsche never meets his gaze with the anger and dread that had burned in his eyes before. When Porsche meets his eyes now, Kinn sees only his adoration. He feels his limbs soften and his rigid back relaxes as he's able to finally sit back in his chair.
Watching him closely, Porsche notices the shift in his posture, and a grin lights up his face, aimed solely at Kinn. Kinn carefully allows himself to return the expression with a reserved but genuine smile, and the thing in his chest loosens and blooms.
When Porsche cheekily winks at him— his nose and eyebrows crinkling with the expression—Kinn finds himself desperately grateful that he's had years of practice in schooling his features. It does him little good, however, something must end up giving Kinn away, because Porsche's expression somehow brightens further in delight before he returns his attention back to the boys seated next to him.
Kinn draws on the radiance Porsche exudes and forces himself to try and see the others at the table through Porsche's eyes. He sees no predecessors, successors, or competition...
Just family.
For the first time in years, Kinn is able to look and see family.