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The first time Albedo cracks is when he realizes his master truly isn’t coming back.
He’s been in Mondstadt for several weeks now, acclimating to life in the city and the demands of his new position with the Knights. They were bizarrely quick to trust him – he supposes Alice must be an incredibly well-connected figure here – but he is grateful that things have gone so smoothly. Within two days of being approved for the Chief Alchemist position, he was able to move into the lab and begin his work.
To be able to fall into the familiar routines of alchemy so quickly has truly been a blessing, after his life was so completely thrown into disarray by his master’s disappearance. It feels so good to just sit and work on a new experiment, to figure out the right equations to use, to see everything come together just like it’s supposed to. He can almost imagine settling down and building a life here.
Even though he misses the days he spent out in the world, exploring domains and learning through practical experience.
...Even though he still hopes his master will show up one day and take him away again.
The Knights’ official workday has long since ended, but Albedo is still in his lab. A particular task he was working on took longer than he expected, and he didn’t want to abandon it halfway. Sucrose, the timid but brilliant student that’s been assigned to him, begged to stay and watch with a level of persistence he also didn’t expect, and after some back-and-forth, he finally gave in.
To his surprise, she’s still awake even now, when the sun has long since set and the lamps posted throughout the city are the only sources of light outside. She’s still been engaged with everything he’s doing, too, observing him closely and taking notes, although he’s also seen her stifling yawns every now and then. But now the experiment is finally over, and he assumes she’ll want to go and get some rest. Most humans need their sleep, after all. Or so he’s been told, anyways.
“Thank you for your help today, Sucrose,” he says, and she immediately flushes red from the sudden attention. “You can go home now. I’ll clean up.”
“N-No need!” Sucrose waves her hands in front of her, visibly flustered. “I can help you! It would be remiss of me to leave before everything is put away!”
Albedo shrugs. If she really wants to help, he’s certainly not going to spend the energy to fight her about it.
They clean in a silence that could almost be called companionable, if not for the way Sucrose keeps glancing at Albedo out of the corner of her eye as if she wants to ask him something. Yet every time he meets her gaze, she looks away and cleans more fervently than before. He distantly wonders if he’ll ever be able to figure her out.
Once everything has been properly sanitized, disposed of, or sealed up, Albedo starts placing everything back on the appropriate shelves around the lab. By pure habit, he arranges everything in the exact same order that Rhinedottir always used. When the last piece of equipment is back in its place, he turns around and says, “I’m finished, Mast-”
But only Sucrose is there, sitting on her bench. When he speaks, she startles and rubs at her eyes, throwing her glasses even more off-kilter. “Hummh? Wha...?”
A sharp pain stabs into Albedo’s chest, and he nearly doubles over in shock.
“Wh-What?!” Sucrose is fully awake now, scrambling over to him as he slides down to the ground, clutching his chest. She stops just short of actually touching him, moving her hands about frantically as though she’s not sure what she should do with them. “What is it, Mr. Albedo? What happened? Are you okay? What can I do?”
“Don’t... know,” he manages to gasp out through gritted teeth. He pulls the collar of his uniform shirt away from his body so he can see his chest.
He immediately puts his shirt back in place.
“It’s nothing,” he grunts, moving to stand up. “You can go home now. I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine!” Sucrose protests, still fretting over him and hovering entirely too close. “Sudden chest pain can be a sign of a serious medical problem, like a heart attack or a collapsed lung. O-Or maybe you’re having a panic attack? Do you need some water? Should I go get Barbara from the Church?”
“Walk with me,” Albedo says, and she scrambles to obey, stepping slowly alongside him as he makes his way to the door of the lab, watching him the whole time as if he might fall over and die at any moment. When they’ve made it out into the hallway, Albedo pauses and takes a couple deep breaths.
Then he lunges back into the lab, slamming the door shut behind him.
“Mr. Albedo!” Sucrose yelps in alarm, pounding on the door even as he turns the lock into place. “Mr. Albedo, what are you doing???”
Albedo does his best to tune her out as he takes off his coat and shirt. He tosses them over the lab bench he’d cleared off just moments before and turns all of his attention to the cracks in the upper left side of his torso.
...Well, this is new.
He’s always been aware that his body is made of chalk, but his master’s craftsmanship was exquisite. He’d never had any trouble with pain or injury when they were together, not even when battling monsters or climbing up steep cliffsides. In every way possible, he’d been created specifically to outperform the average human body in usefulness and reliability, and none of his experiences to date had given him a reason to expect that that would ever change. So for these cracks to appear so deeply and so suddenly, and so close to his artificial heart, is...
Well. It’s a little bit concerning, to say the least.
His mind rapidly sorts through the possible solutions, until he arrives at one that sounds promising. Many years ago, he and Rhinedottir had crossed over to Inazuma, and although they usually avoided crowded areas, they had to stop by Inazuma City to get some supplies they couldn’t find anywhere else. While walking down the main street, they had passed by a lacquerware store, and Albedo had stopped to stare. Rhinedottir, mildly annoyed by the detour but seeing no reason to quash his curiosity, permitted him to talk to the shopkeeper.
Though the owner of the store was reluctant to divulge his trade secrets, he did introduce Albedo to an ancient Inazuman art: kintsugi, a means of repairing broken pottery so that it can still be used. Albedo is not made of lacquerware, but neither is he made of ordinary human flesh. Perhaps, if he adjusts the formula enough to his own needs, he will be able to repair the damage to his body and go on as if nothing has ever happened.
Albedo heads down to the Knights of Favonius Library, an easy enough task when the only people around are a couple of dozing night guards. Sucrose is nowhere to be seen; she must have given up at some point. This suits him for the time being, although he dreads what she might do the next time they meet. Eventually he does find a book that references kintsugi and the processes involved. He tucks it under his arm and returns to the lab upstairs.
By the time the sun is peeking up over the horizon again, Albedo has come up with a combination that he believes will be a fine compromise between traditional kintsugi and his own particular needs: resin, of course, but purified powdered chalk instead of gold, the better to blend in with his body’s natural materials. Even though gold is apparently the traditional form of decoration, he sees no purpose in making the cracks beautiful when he’d rather never show them to anyone at all.
He carefully applies the resin to the cracks until they are filled. He manages to creatively repurpose certain alchemical tools to make the resin harden faster, and then he brushes the chalk dust over it. If anyone looked closely, they would still be able to see the lines; but Albedo doesn’t like to spend much time near people in the first place, and his uniform will more than cover the area anyway, so he has little worry that anyone will actually notice and put two and two together or confront him about his homuncular nature.
Thus reassured, he gets dressed and puts all of the tools and materials away again.
Just like Rhinedottir always showed him.
Later that morning, Sucrose bursts into the lab with the Deaconess in tow, stammering unintelligibly about dangerous health conditions. Albedo merely greets her calmly, a warm cup of coffee in hand, and asks if she got any sleep last night. He somehow manages to convince Barbara that Sucrose must have imagined the whole thing, or perhaps had a delirious nightmare, and to his great relief the nun eventually leaves the two alchemists alone to attend to their work. Albedo feels somewhat bad about deceiving them, but the important thing is that his secrets are still safe.
(He also suffers the wrath of the Knights’ Librarian for effectively stealing a book without her knowledge or permission, never mind the fact that he went to return it the moment the library officially opened. He returns to the lab afterwards visibly rattled, and Sucrose starts to fuss over him again, but merely invoking the name “Lisa” is enough to get her to back off and nod sympathetically. They don’t speak of it again.)
The second time Albedo cracks is when Klee comes to him for comfort.
It’s been a few months since the first incident, and Albedo has mostly put it out of his mind. He remembers sometimes when he tries to bend in certain ways and finds a little extra resistance from the hardened resin, but for the most part, it doesn’t bother him. And, as he expected, no one else has noticed.
He has the day off work and has spent the morning sitting on the couch at Alice's house, sketching things from his memories and imagination. Although normally he would prefer to be constantly at work – he doesn’t need to sleep, after all, and his nutritional requirements are minimal – Jean insisted. And he has to admit that having a break is kind of nice for once. Still, he’s glad it’s only one day, and he looks forward to going back to the lab tomorrow.
The house is quiet. Klee is at “work” herself, which mostly means that one of the other Knights will have to babysit her and try their best to keep her out of trouble. Klee was excited all morning, talking about how she hoped it would be Kaeya or Lisa or anyone else from her extensive list of favorite people. Still, most of those people are usually very busy with their other responsibilities, and they may not have enough time to watch over Klee properly. Albedo grimaces a little bit to imagine any of the Visionless Knights, like Huffman or Belinda, trying to keep up with her. Hopefully she doesn’t destroy anything too important today.
More unusual, though, is the fact that Alice is gone as well. Intellectually Albedo knows that she’s a traveler by trade, and she and Klee have both regaled him with several wild tales of her adventures around Teyvat and even beyond. But still, she’s been a permanent fixture in his life ever since he arrived in Mondstadt, doing her best to help him get settled in, introducing him to all the Knights and several other friends of hers, and just generally being there for him when he needed a helping hand. He'd honestly started to take her presence for granted.
But then a couple weeks ago she had suddenly announced that she was feeling the wanderlust again, and within hours she had packed up her travel bags and vanished with just two quick kisses on Klee and Albedo’s foreheads as her goodbye. No mention of where she was going, and no mention of when she’d be back. She had been there, and then suddenly she was gone.
Albedo... was fine with it. He was. Really. He had to be fine with it; there was nothing he could do about it, anyways, so he might as well make the most of the situation and enjoy the quiet time to himself while she was away. Klee was also fine with it; she’d admitted that her mother left often, and was sometimes gone for a really really long time, but that she always came back with lots of presents, and anyways she loved Klee very much and would never ever leave her behind forever, no matter what...!
The door flies open, and a teary-eyed Klee comes rushing in.
“Al- snff- Albedooo,” she cries, throwing herself into his lap and pushing something at his hands. Alarmed, Albedo tries to move his sketchbook out of the way before the pages get all crinkled up. Klee barely notices. She just keeps calling his name between sniffles and trying to get him to hold whatever she has in her little gloved hands.
“Klee,” Albedo says, awkwardly. He’s never had to deal with a crying child before. His mind tries to analyze the list of possible ways to get her to stop, but he can’t settle on anything good when he doesn’t even know what the problem is. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Dodoco,” Klee wails. “Dodoco g-got hurt, and Klee doesn’t- snff- know how to make Dodoco feel better. You have to help Dodoco!”
Albedo finally manages to get the object free from Klee’s hands. It’s the plush fabric doll that normally hangs off of Klee’s backpack. The seam on one side of it has torn open, and some of the stuffing has started to spill out of it. Albedo knows that Alice made it for Klee, and that she never goes anywhere without it, but in the end--
“It’s just a doll, Klee,” he says. “Can’t it be replaced?”
That was apparently the wrong thing to say, because Klee’s sobs turn into much louder wails. “Noo-oo-oo!” the child cries, hitting Albedo’s chest with her fists. “Dodoco is Klee’s bestest, bestest friend! Mama gave Dodoco to Klee so that Klee would never be lonely, even when Mama is gone. Dodoco can’t be replaced, not ever!”
Albedo inhales sharply as a familiar, not-quite-forgotten pain takes hold in his chest once more.
“Klee,” he gasps, and mercifully this gets her to at least stop hitting him, although she’s still crying hard and getting snot all over his shirt. “Klee, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
“You have to help Dodoco, Albedo,” Klee sniffles, leaning against his body. The extra pressure makes him wince. “You have to...”
Albedo racks his brain, trying to come up with anything that will make Klee feel better. Ultimately, the only thing that seems likely to satisfy her is to fix the existing Dodoco doll. And the only person he can think of who could help with that is-
“Amber,” he says aloud, tapping Klee on the shoulder. She looks up at him and rubs at the gunk under her nose with one hand. “Amber can sew, Klee, remember? She helped me fix my uniform once when it got a hole in it. Why don’t you ask her to help you- uh, heal Dodoco?”
“Oh, right!” Klee brightens up almost immediately, although her eyes are still tearful. “Klee will go find Amber and ask her to help Dodoco! Thanks, Albedo. You’re the best!”
And she’s off his lap and running out the door before he can say another word.
...Okay then.
He supposes that went about as well as it could have. But when he sighs in relief, the sharp pain in his chest reminds him that his ordeal actually still isn’t over just yet.
After shutting the door behind Klee and pulling the living room window’s shutters closed, Albedo braces himself for the worst and takes his shirt off.
Just as he feared, the cracks have spread again, beyond the range of the resin he had used to fill them last time. Now one of them has snaked its way up towards his left shoulder, and another has spread laterally towards the right side of his chest. He grimaces at the sight. He’ll have to sneak into the lab or something to get the materials he needs to fill the new sections.
If only fixing himself were as simple as fixing a child’s stuffed toy.
Re-donning his shirt, he leaves the house, all the while trying to figure out how he can make it to the lab without Master Jean finding out and sending him away again.
This isn’t going to be easy.
The third time Albedo cracks is when he discovers that he’s not alone.
It’s been several years now since Albedo first arrived in Mondstadt. By now he is well-acquainted with the layout, with the people, and with the general prevailing mood of the city of freedom. This is the longest he's ever settled down in one place before, and so naturally Mondstadt feels familiar to him. It's the closest thing he has to a home.
But now, another Traveler has come, rocking the world of practically everyone whose path he crosses. From confronting the Fatui, to fighting off Stormterror, to wielding the power of Anemo without a Vision in sight – everyone has heard of this mysterious Traveler’s deeds, and everyone sings his praises like he’s the reincarnation of Vennessa herself. The whole city can’t stop talking about him.
Albedo, who has been stationed on Dragonspine for the past several months, is only just now being exposed to all the latest gossip about the powerful yet elusive Honorary Knight. What he’d intended to be a simple resupply trip to Mondstadt has turned into a whole social hour, where everyone and their grandmother seems to feel the need to tell him about all the juicy details, none of which remain consistent between each retelling. It's confusing, trying to sort out what's true and what's false, but it also kindles a deep and burning curiosity within him.
So when he’s back on Dragonspine painting hilichurls several days later and a jaded nun and a beautiful blonde stranger accidentally scare them off, Albedo can’t even bring himself to be upset about it.
Aether, whose name he is only just now learning, admits to Albedo that he has come to Teyvat from another world. Albedo, in turn, tells the Traveler about a particular seed that is also from another world, which had suddenly appeared in his Dragonspine camp one day, as most gifts from Alice are wont to do. He tells Aether that the primary purpose of the tests he wants to run is to figure out how to get the seed to bloom... but, if he’s being honest with himself, he’s also incredibly curious about the nature of this fellow anomaly of humanity, another outsider to Teyvat.
As the tests unfold, Albedo can’t help but throw a few quips at the Traveler, just to see how he’ll respond. Aether doesn’t quite seem to understand all of Albedo’s dry humor – perhaps owing in part to the language barrier evidenced by his slight otherworldly accent – but he does participate earnestly, and Albedo diligently watches and records his every movement. This time, it’s not just his duty as an alchemist to be thorough. It’s his personal interest in the subject at hand and his drive to understand both the world and himself.
Once the final part of the experiment has been completed, and the seed from another world has already bloomed and withered away, Albedo considers the Traveler. Aether has been so cooperative this whole time; he has really earned all of the compensation Albedo has put together for helping him in this endeavor. Albedo’s whole body feels like it’s thrumming with an excited energy the likes of which he hasn’t truly felt in a long, long time – the energy he feels when he’s on the verge of a true breakthrough. Going out into the world and investigating... turning the unknown into the known...
Ahh... I’ve missed this feeling.
And then he feels it.
Aether, who has already started off down the mountainside, hears Albedo’s sudden grunt of pain and comes running back into the camp. “What’s wrong?” the Traveler asks, rushing to Albedo’s side as he falls, clutching his chest. Again.
“It’s nothing,” he tries to say, but the Traveler won’t be dissuaded so easily. He helps Albedo into a more comfortable position, with his back leaned up against one of the wooden crates stacked up around the campsite. Then he looks Albedo directly in the eye.
“It’s not nothing,” Aether insists. “I’ve spent all day helping you; one more task won’t kill me. So. Seriously. What’s wrong?”
Albedo stares right back at Aether for a long, silent moment. Finally, he sighs, and resigns himself to his fate.
If he has to give up his secrets so soon, Aether is probably the best person to entrust them to.
"What’s wrong is that my body has grown too fragile in recent years,” Albedo explains, shrugging off his coat as best as he can while it’s half-trapped between him and the ground. ”Usually I have it under control, but... well.”
“Do you need me to move the torch closer?” Aether asks, bracing himself to stand. “I don’t want you to freeze to death out here.”
Albedo shakes his head, and fortunately Aether respects it, settling back down beside him. “I don’t need it. I won’t succumb to something so simple as sheer cold.”
He undoes the top part of his shirt, and tugs the fabric back far enough that Aether can see the fractures underneath.
“What... is that?” the Traveler asks, leaning over to get a closer look.
“Resin,” Albedo replies. “Resin coated with chalk dust, to blend in with chalk skin and chalk flesh.” Albedo swallows and steels himself for what he’s about to say. “Because I, too, am not truly of this world.”
Aether ponders this for a moment. “But... earlier you said that you couldn’t understand life from outside the world you know. I thought that meant you were from Teyvat.”
“I am, technically. But that doesn’t mean I’m human.” A small, bittersweet smile crosses his face and then fades. “I was... created, not born, via the use of alchemy. My master... well. She was a genius who taught me almost everything I know, but it seems that not even she could predict that I would end up breaking under the pressure of navigating human relationships.”
“So... you broke, but you tried to fix the cracks?” Aether asks. Albedo nods. “How did you do it?”
The pain has mostly subsided by now, so Albedo is able to relax more fully, sagging slightly against the crate. “Like I said, I did it with resin, and with chalk dust. I modeled it after an old Inazuman art called kintsugi, in which people fix their shattered pottery by painting over the cracks with resin and gold. I think it’s supposed to represent the idea that even broken things can be beautiful.”
“I don’t think you’re broken,” Aether says earnestly. Albedo turns his head to look at the Traveler, to gague what he means by that, and finds that he seems completely sincere. “Maybe you have some cracks in you, but if my experiences here today are anything to go by, you’re one of the smartest people in Mondstadt. That's worth something." He smiles and places his hand over his heart. “I’m so grateful to have met you.”
Albedo searches Aether’s gaze a little bit longer, still finding nothing but total sincerity inside. “I’m glad I met you, too,” he replies, slowly. “You’ve been very helpful today. Thank you.”
That makes Aether laugh, a bright, pleasant sound. “Oh, so I’m helpful! Yes, that’s what I seem to do best these days, is helping people.” He wipes a joyous tear away from his eye. “Ahh... Well, if you ever need my help again, all you have to do is ask.”
Albedo nods in acknowledgement. “I appreciate the offer. I’ll be sure to do that.”
They part ways, with Aether beginning the long trek back down towards Mondstadt and Albedo remaining behind in his camp. The alchemist re-fastens his shirt, stands up, and glances over to where his sketchbook lies waiting on the table.
With a small smile of his own, he picks it up and begins to draw.
The next time Aether sees Albedo, he notices the faint glimmer of gold-painted resin peeking out from both his collar and his left sleeve. Albedo notices him noticing, and the two exchange a knowing smile, before they both go about their day as two outsiders in Mondstadt.
For the first time in a long time, Albedo truly feels like he belongs.