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Ten lurched sideways as the car finally pulled up the driveway, the rusted gate wide open behind them. The road leading to the house was cracked and weathered, evidence of its age. Patches of concrete remained hidden under piles of rotten leaves. Ten quickly turned around to check on the cats, relieved to see them sleeping soundly in their carriers, Louis’s gentle snores filling the air.
“It barely moved.” Ten spoke up, interrupting the song playing in the car. “You did well.”
Kun swerved around a giant pothole, and he straightened back up. After the drive became smoother, Kun took a quick peek at them through the rearview mirror. He smiled as Leon’s little paws started moving in his sleep. “I told you it’ll be better to have them surrounded by bags.”
“I just didn’t want them to feel suffocated….”
Ten shrugged and stared out the window to avoid the wave of nausea, ready to crash his mood. They had been driving for far too long.
The trees lining the driveway would’ve, at one point, been magnificent. The long drive from the gate shrouded by old maple trees, with freshly cut and watered lawn brightening up the ground. Perhaps a few big dogs running around playing in the wet grass. But, instead, all that remained of the former glory were overgrown branches and weeds that were easily taller than Ten.
“We will have to fix this driveway.” Kun sighed as the car jumped into yet another unavoidable pothole. The white of his knuckles showed his otherwise quiet outrage as he held the steering tighter. “This isn’t safe, especially if you are behind the wheel.”
Ten couldn’t drudge up enough care to feel insulted at his words. The long drive has almost wiped him out. It was true, anyway. The car survived this ride only because Kun decided to drive them overnight without a wink of sleep. Ten could handle city drives, but driving through the countryside was a completely different venture. He would rather not deal with the amount of cautiousness required at three in the morning.
“We also need to fix the gate.” Ten mused as he remembered the pain he went through to open it. His hand was stained red with rust and peeling paint, even after trying to wash it off with the last bit of water in the bottle. “I don’t think it’s safe to have a wide-open gate.”
Kun hummed and sped up as the white walls came into view. The old gothic-style house remained just as majestic as they drove up the road.
Kun parked the car in the corner of the front yard and stepped out. Chills ran down Ten's spine as he took a deep breath and followed him. He could feel his heart racing in his chest. The rush of excitement almost causing jittery nausea.
The white paint was peeling off, almost grey in certain areas, while moss held onto the wall in the corners. The bay windows throughout the walls were covered with dusty mesh and thick wooden bars. At least they got the roof fixed before moving in. The steep black garbled roof gave a promising sign of the future of the house.
Kun sighed loudly, bringing Ten out of his reverie, though the smile on his face threw away the dramatic effect he was hoping for. He reached over to take Ten’s hand and entwine their fingers. “We’ve got our work cut out for us… Half of it is still remaining.”
The house was barely livable. Ten just laughed and kissed Kun’s knuckles before saying, “I am an award-winning architect, babe. We’ll be fine.”
Kun laughed along and pulled him closer. He rested his head on Ten’s as they stared at the dark wooden door, plain in a way that made it look daunting. “Shall we?”
“Kids...”
Ten walked back towards the car and took Louis into his arms while Kun held Leon. “Let’s leave them in the bedroom next to the master. I had people come in and clean the house yesterday.”
“After that,” Ten stared at the sheer vastness of the estate, not just the house, but the whole place. He held back the surge of doubt and said, “We should devise a proper schedule.”
“I thought we could get a shower, have some breakfast,” Kun nuzzled right up against Ten’s neck, his nose slowly dragging down, “enjoy our new house.”
Ten hit Kun’s face with the back of his head, making him yelp and jump back. “Do you see how dusty this place still is? The number of bags in the car and the many boxes the packers moved here yesterday.”
Leon meowed loudly as he squirmed in Kun’s hold, “see, even the kid is disappointed in you.”
Kun just stuck his tongue out at Ten and walked to the door, not bothering to look back at Ten’s intense glare. He held the key up and called out to Ten, “Wanna open it together?”
Shaking his head, Ten ran up the stairs and held Kun’s hand. He bit down on his lips to stop the grin from taking over and twisted the key. The door opened with a loud screech, swinging in till it hit on either side of the wall. The cats almost jumped out of their hold, though somehow, both of them still held on. With squirming cats, they rushed inside the house and up the stairs.
Ten entered the empty bedroom, waiting to let Louis out of his arms as Kun closed the door behind them. Releasing his hold, he watched as Louis jumped down and began exploring the room, his movements wary and suspicious. As Ten dragged away the old red curtains, the bay window facing out to the overgrown fields finally let in some much-needed light.
“I’m getting rid of that shit.” He said, holding back a sneeze, nose burning from the effort. On the other hand, Kun let out a loud sneeze, scaring the cats away from them. “We can’t leave them here. It’s so dusty.”
Kun swore under his breath and took out his phone, quickly dialing a number. With his phone to his ears, Kun walked around the room and finally opened a window covered with a net. “I called you yesterday about cleaning my house… Yes. Why is it so dusty if you cleaned it up?! No… I don’t care. I even paid you in full. Fine, I better see it in my account by tomorrow.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Something about it getting dark and not wanting to stay here late.” Kun sighed, “they cleaned the rooms downstairs. We can keep them there, though now it’s going to take us longer to set up the bedroom. I told you we’d just waste time if we brought them now. We should’ve just left them with Hendery.”
“Well, you said you’ll handle it!”
“Because you started to get all angsty!”
“What the fuck ever, Kun.” Ten scowled, grabbed the cats, and walked down the stairs. His footsteps echoed throughout the foyer, the stairs creaking loudly with every step. “Stupid Kun. Stupid house.”
He walked to the room at the very end of the ground floor, right next to the office Kun claimed as his. The room had a higher ceiling than the rest of the house. Almost a desolate library filled with empty shelves, leading out to a greenhouse with empty and clean pots and plots. Ten noticed a bunch of old books neatly arranged on an oak desk. It looks like Ten found his office after all. He quickly looked through every corner of the room before deeming it safe enough. He closed the glass partition to the greenhouse and let the cats run free.
After making sure the cats were safe alone in the room, Ten walked out, closing it behind him. As he approached the main door, he noticed Kun's figure sitting on the bay window beside the staircase. The cushions he lounged on were a vibrant shade of red that seemed to glow in the sunlight. Kun’s shoulders were hunched over, his jacket thrown carelessly by his foot as he stared out the window into the garden.
Ten took slow steps towards him, contemplating who should apologize first, him or Kun. Lost in his thoughts, Ten's attention was suddenly drawn to the dining room, causing him to jump back. He could’ve sworn there was someone’s silhouette standing by the table, staring directly at him. Ten's chest heaved as he released the breath he had been holding, feeling the tension leave his body. It was just an old grandfather clock stationed right in front of the window, creating a ridiculous illusion. “Fuck.”
“What’s wrong?” Kun asked, his voice softer than usual, almost a whisper. “You have been staring at that clock for about five minutes.”
“I was..?”
“I’m sorry,” Kun rushed to apologize, the words flying out of him.
Ten shifted to his side, and his eyes landed on Kun, who was standing a few steps behind him. His head held down as he stared at his shuffling feet. He waited, chewing on the inside of his cheek, wanting to hear his words. Kun kept wringing his hands out in front of him.
“Fuck.” Kun exhaled as he rubbed his eyes harshly with his palms. “Ten. I... The only thing I want is for you to be happy.”
“Kun,” Ten walked closer and hugged him by his waist. Kun brought his arms around Ten. “Maybe this entire thing is more taxing than we will admit. But let’s promise to not take it out on each other. I don’t want to lose you again.”
“I know. More communication. Less brooding. I remember.”
Kun's lips brushed against Ten's as his hand gently traced the curve of Ten's cheek. Kun held Ten up as he leaned on him, their bodies melding together.
The piercing trill of the doorbell pulled them apart. Both their groans accompanied the echo drifting through the house.
“Who’s that?!” Ten shouted as he stretched his head to look out the glass pane near the front door.
“The cleaners.” Kun ran to open the door for a few people to walk in and took them to the closet filled with supplies. Ten moved to the living room and quickly began removing the covers from their furniture, revealing the colorful upholstery underneath. Kun followed his lead as he said, “I called the nearby estate manager and asked him to help us find some good workers for the day. He, thankfully, sent a few of his workers over. They’ll also start some quick work in the garden before we hire people.”
“Oh. What about the people you hired?”
“Most of them quit. I fired the contractor. I’ll get someone else.”
Ten shrugged and continued removing the covers. The move, by some miracle, didn’t cause any damage to the prized furnishings Ten had acquired.
“I’ll be right back.” Kun kissed Ten’s cheek and walked out into the garden. Ten pulled apart the curtains and saw Kun visibly shivering in his thin white t-shirt as he talked to a few people wrapped in thick jackets. Shaking his head, Ten walked out of the room and took Kun’s jacket, lying discarded on the floor.
He was about to walk out the door when one of the ladies holding a long brush came up to him. She looked old, old enough that Ten worried about her health doing manual labor. Her face was wrinkled in all the wrong places as if she was slowly deteriorating. Her hair, though, just had a slight dust of pepper.
“Son. Don’t you want to leave? You should leave. Your smile will disappear soon. So will his.” Her voice was quite hoarse. Her grip on his arm was starting to hurt. “No one ever walks away.”
Her eyes were shining with tears as she stared at Ten. The sympathy on her face seemed much more profound than a shallow compassion. The more she stared at Ten, the more he felt like he was a corpse to whom she was paying her last respect.
“You okay?” Ten felt Kun pull him closer. Meanwhile, some young girl was trying to pry open the lady’s iron grip on his wrist. Ten didn’t realize when he was let go till he found himself breathing in Kun’s scent, face buried in his neck. Kun’s voice was vibrating in his chest. “Get her away from him.”
“Fuck. Ten.” Kun slowly rubbed circles on his back as he burrowed deeper into Kun’s neck. “What did she say to you?”
“Kun,” Ten’s voice was shaky, so was his entire body. It almost felt like he was watching it happen to someone else rather than feeling it happen to him. “Can we go out?”
Ten didn’t have to say another word before he was standing by the car. Kun ran inside and brought the keys with him. The moment they cleared the gate, Ten felt a sense of freedom wash over him, as if he could finally breathe. He sucked in great lungfuls of air, greedily trying to fill his lungs, but still feeling short of breath. Kun looked over every few seconds, worry written clearly on his creased forehead and wide-open eyes. Such an open book.
“What happened?” Ten asked after he felt his heart rate slow down. The rising sun glared into the car, making the hills in front of them look doused in blood.
“You- Ten, you were crying. Wailing really. I got so scared.” Kun breathed out, almost following the pattern of Ten’s own measured breaths.
Kun pulled over to the side of the empty road. The bright autumn forest surrounded them on either side, a symphony of reds and oranges. With a gentle touch, he took hold of both of Ten's hands and began to rub them together. Belatedly, Ten realized that he was ice-cold, despite the warmth of the car and his favorite hoodie.
“What did that woman say to you?”
“She… I don’t know Kun. She didn’t really say anything.” Ten whispered, “can we go back? I want to talk to her.”
“Ten. I asked the manager to get her out.”
“What?!” Ten yelled. “Why would you do that?!”
“Why are you shouting at me?” Kun stared at him with raised eyebrows hidden behind his disheveled bangs. His voice was steady as he added, “You wanted me to give the lady who made my fiancé cry a huge feast instead?”
Ten sucked in a breath through his teeth. He still wasn’t used to that word. Not when he remembers crying throughout the nights as he refused to hang up the hope. Now he has a home with the guy who walked out with a tear-stained face. Fiancé.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout. She said something about no one ever leaving. I just want to know what she meant.”
Kun sighed and leaned back in his seat, his knuckles tight on the steering wheel. “If you badly want to talk to her. I’ll ask them to make her stay. But I don’t think you should, Ten.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’ve never seen you cry like that. Not in front of so many people.”
Ten sighed and looked out the window at the leaves swaying in the light breeze. Kun loves autumn, Ten thought immediately. He loves it so much that he argued to have their wedding in autumn. Next year. Next year, this time, they will be married in the fields of their estate. No one ever walks away…
“Kun. I have to talk to her.” Ten said after the silence dragged on a bit too long. “I will be fine.”
“Fine, but we are meeting her together. In the diner, we had our breakfast.”
“It’s by the freeway, Kun. Let’s go into town.”
With a sigh, Kun wore his seat belt again and drove off. Ten kept staring out the window as Kun stayed on his phone, trying to get the old woman to meet them.
“Ten, She left. They can’t find her. I called Sicheng, the owner I told you about. He said he’ll send her over as soon as she shows up for work.” Kun finally said, “shall we go back home?”
As he struggled to calm his mind, Ten rubbed his eyes roughly, trying to focus. Maybe she was just a crazy old lady, and Ten was being homesick. No one ever walks away…
“Fuck!” Ten shouted into the silence of their car, making Kun jump and almost serve directly onto a tree on the other side.
“Ten. You okay?” Kun asked. Open book. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
“She said… She said that no one had walked away. From the house. That she wants us to leave.”
“Ten. We already went over this. You said it yourself. People go crazy. People die.”
“I did, didn’t I?”
“Neither of us will ever try to kill the other. At least I know that much.”
“Your trust in me is heartening.” Ten said with a pout, and leaned over to kiss Kun’s cheek. “Take me home. You’ll be there.”
It wasn’t a question, Kun still answered, looking directly into Ten’s eyes, “Without a doubt. Till my very last breath.”
Ten smiled and leaned on the window. The moving car’s vibrations made his head numb enough to be genuinely optimistic. He’ll deal with it. He has to.
----
A faint melody flirted throughout the first floor, leading into a bedroom. Ten was humming, lost in his thoughts, methodically folding the winter clothing into the massive teak cupboard standing by the corner. This room felt somewhat hollow to him, as if it was missing something important. So, once the other rooms were cleaned up and organized, Ten dragged whatever excess clothing they had into it. He hated seeing the space empty. He hated the silence that permeated the house, mostly when Kun stayed out tending to the garden or the fields.
“Ten!” He heard Kun call out. The acoustics of the house made it sound so hollow. “Dinner’s ready.”
Ten smiled, quickly folded the quilt in his hands, and left it on the bed. He was about to close the door behind him when he felt a shiver run down his spine. A distinct feeling of someone watching him. The same one he’s had since the first day, walking by the dining room. He shook his head, slammed the door behind him, and rushed downstairs, ignoring the loud creaking of the floors in protest.
“You okay?” Kun asked as Ten leaned on the kitchen island, taking quick breaths after his impromptu run. Ten nodded and sat down on the stool as Kun unpacked the meal he had bought from somewhere.
“Did you get the wood paint I asked for?” Ten asked as he took out the plates and cutlery.
“The exact one. Why were you running?”
Ten stilled for a moment, the plates clanking with his sudden pause, “Cause I felt like it.”
Kun sighed, the sound echoing through the empty kitchen, as he carefully placed the side dishes into bowls. He worked with an awkward rigidity, as if his body were resisting his every move. Ten scooped out the fried rice into their plates and sat down. Meanwhile, Kun was still trying to remove even the tiniest drop of oil from the fried chicken container.
“Kun,” Ten whispered as he took the plastic container from Kun’s hands, “what’s wrong?”
Kun sighed and pulled up his sweater, shivering from the cold. Ten leaned back, his eyebrows raised in confusion as he tried to make sense of the sudden shift in his mood. That is, until Kun turned around. There were slashes along his back. The wounds stayed open, ripping apart his skin and leaving dried blood caked up along the curve of his spine. Ten jumped up, bile bubbling up his throat. He ran into the washroom downstairs and threw up into the toilet.
He wasn’t sure how long he stayed there, tears falling down uncontrollably before he finally washed his face and walked out with the first aid box. Kun was sitting on the wooden stool. His sweater still ridden up as if he hadn’t moved an inch.
Kun looked up as he heard Ten’s footsteps. His eyes were blood red, as if they were also bleeding. Ten shook his head and walked closer. The blood on his back was gone, and the wounds seemed like years old. Ten’s hands shook as he still cleaned Kun’s back. The cotton came up with bloodstains continuously, no matter how many times he cleaned a spot.
“Ten,” Kun said calmly, in the same tone he usually used with the cats when they were spooked by something, “Come and eat.”
“Eat?!” Ten shouted with a peal of laughter. “Are you fucking serious?!”
“What can we do?” Kun sighed and put his head on the marble. “This keeps happening every night. At this exact time. Why bother?”
Ten threw the cotton sticks onto the counter and leaned on it with his back to Kun. He didn’t want to cry again. He just wanted to scream, to leave. Kun pulled Ten closer, and the warmth of his embrace enveloped him.
“When will this end? We should’ve just left from the very beginning. Why did we stay?”
Kun chuckled. Ten felt the vibrations more than he heard the sound. “It’s been just a week. Things are already this bad.”
“I hate this.”
“I know, me too,” Kun replied and moved Ten around. Kun's cheeks were frigid to the touch as Ten gently stroked them with his hand. He moved his fingers along his jawline and up to his forehead, feeling every ridge and valley of his face, as if he was trying to capture every detail for a painting. Ten opened his eyes as he felt Kun kiss his fingers. “What’s wrong?”
Ten exhaled, a quiet laugh, “everything.”
“Let’s go to sleep.” Kun spoke up after a while.
Ten quickly nodded in relief and held Kun in a half hug, refusing to let him be apart as they climbed the stairs. He decided to leave the mess for the morning. Ten wrapped himself in the comforter and latched onto Kun. He wasn’t sure if he could sleep, but he kept his eyes tightly shut, fingers holding onto Kun’s sweatshirt in the same vice-like grip Kun had on his hips, making it harder for him to move.
Ten blocked his ears with his pillow as a domino of loud crashes knocked him out of his dream. He reached over to Kun’s side, only to find fur and a wet tongue licking his palm. The room was too dark to see, even though the curtains were still pulled open. Ten sat upright and slowly rubbed the grit out of his eyes. Yawning quietly, he reached over to switch on the bedside lamp. Louis had happily occupied Kun’s space, wrapped like a donut, busily grooming himself.
“Kun?” He called out, his voice hoarse with sleep. He uttered a loud curse as another crashing sound coursed through the house. The sound of breaking glass seemed too loud in the remoteness.
Ten shivered as soon as he stepped out of his warm comforter. In a hurry, he made his way to the corner couch and scrambled to find the old sweatshirt he had discarded. With the awkward clanking of his slippers, Ten stood at the open bedroom door, weighing the decision of whether to investigate the noise downstairs or simply go back to sleep. Another crash spurred on Ten’s decision.
Louis followed right behind Ten as he slowly crept downstairs, holding onto the handrail firmly as he had stupidly forgotten to switch on the lights, and now every step came with an imminent dread. Every creak of the old house made his heart beat that much louder. Louis constantly jumping around his feet didn’t help in his descent.
“Louis, stop. Go to Kun.” Ten whispered. It wasn’t fun to speak into the void and have it echo back your own sound. He missed the loudness of the city traffic, striking even during early morning hours.
“Kun!” Ten shouted, finally mustering enough courage to speak louder, “You okay?”
Getting no reply wasn’t suspicious on its own, but the loud sound of another crash and a resounding groan made Ten dash down. The choked-off cries lead him right to the library. He pushed the door open and paused.
The room was still dark, almost pitch black. Bright moonlight filtered in through the greenhouse, casting a muted glow to the corner of the room, right by the freshly painted oak table. The pungent odor of varnish filled the room, making it hard to breathe.
Ten felt near the doorway for the light switch, all the while calling out, “Kun, where are you?”
With his back against the wall, he hesitantly trailed his hand down the peeling wallpaper, unwilling to venture deeper into the room due to an unexplainable fear.
“Kun,” He whispered.
His throat felt heavy as he tried to keep in a scream building up. His hand was still moving on the wall, slowly inching further. He didn’t dare turn his back to the room. He turned his head for a split second, just long enough to turn on the switch. Suddenly, he felt someone breathing down his neck. He looked right ahead, directly into the bowels of the dark corner of the room.
As the light flickered on, Ten felt hands wrap around his neck, squeezing tightly and making him to gasp for air. He struggled to pull away. Trying to pry away the hold on his neck. But his efforts were in vain as he realized he was completely alone. There was no hand on his neck. There was no one behind him. The phantom feeling of being choked remained. As he flailed about, his hand struck an object, the sound of shattering glass filling the room.
“Kun!” He heard his own voice shout somewhere in the distance, “You okay?”
Ten felt the tears burning in his eyes. His throat felt scorched, not just by being strangled, but as if someone was pouring hot magma into his mouth. He couldn’t even open his mouth to scream. The last thing he saw was the bright moon directly above him as the library door opened with a shaky voice, quietly calling for Kun.
---
Ten woke up to the sound of incessant beeps, loud and rhythmic. As soon as he breathed in, he was hit with a strong, overpowering scent that felt like sanitizer sprayed directly on his face. Ten suppressed the need to gag and opened his eyes, only to be met with extremely bright white lights glaring down around him. His breath caught in his throat, and he quickly sat upright on the bed.
Kun immediately stood up from the bedside chair, hair sticking up in all directions, and came closer to Ten. He held Ten by his shoulders, slowly massaging him as he tried to make him lie back down. “Hey, hey. You lie down. I’ll go get the doctor.”
“What happened?” Ten asked. His throat felt scratched up, as if he had been screaming for hours. It hurt too much to talk, but he powered through, “why am I here?”
“I’ll tell you as soon as the doctor checks in on you.”
Kun handed him a small plastic glass filled with water and rushed outside. Ten drank a few sips and left the glass on the white metal table. The room was relatively small, with another empty bed beside him. However, the lights were bright enough that Ten had to keep his eyes strictly on his comforter to not feel dizzy.
The paint on the walls was peeling back, and the window sills were alarmingly rotten. Ten didn’t even bother looking at the metal surrounding him, the machines, the bed frame; he knew it would be rusted too. The doctor walked in as Ten was contemplating the horrific condition of the room. Knowing Kun, this was probably the best the hospital had to offer.
“Mr. Lee.” The middle-aged woman with dull orange hair said as she checked on the IV drip level, “Wonderful to have you back. You were out for the whole day.”
“Good to be back, I guess.” Ten smiled through his pain. Every syllable he uttered felt like it was dragging a knife on the way up.
“Mr. Qian, if you could. Please wait outside the room.” She stated.
Her eyes bore into Kun, and Ten couldn't help but feel uneasy in the tense silence. Kun's jaw tightened as he clenched his fist, but he didn't say a word before he walked out. His shoulders were slumped and his head was bowed, conveying a sense of defeat that Ten had never seen in him before. He looked like a dog that had been heartlessly discarded by its owners.
“Did he create some drama?” Ten asked, unable to stop his smile as he watched Kun take one look back at him before closing the door, “forgive him. He gets freaked out even if I get a minor cut.”
“So, Ten. Can I call you Ten?” with Ten’s nod, she continued. She was wearing quite a deep frown at him, as if she wasn’t expecting him to speak. “How’s your throat?”
“It hurts. Horribly. I can barely speak.”
“Can you tell me what happened?” She said and sat by his bedside, right where Kun was seated moments ago. Ten looked at her, only to find a smile on her face.
He frowned as he answered, “I don’t really remember.”
Ten did remember. But he didn’t think a doctor would believe him. And he isn’t particularly fond of psychiatric centers.
“This is a safe space, Ten. You can talk to me. I will protect you.”
“What?” He raised an eyebrow at her. Her lips were thinned by her smile. Now, he was the one who felt like a discarded dog. “What are you trying to say?”
“Ten. You have bruises on your neck and all over your torso. When your fiancé got you here, you were barely breathing, and he looked... wild.”
“You think Kun did something to me?” Ten asked. His voice was a whisper, almost lost in the cacophony of beeps and quiet chatter permeating through the walls.
“We only allowed him to be here because there was no other way to calm him down. We kept a security guard on watch the whole time.”
Ten tried to stop his laughter. He knew it was a serious matter and that Kun could be arrested and taken away from him. But the laughter bubbled up, and there was no way to stop it. Even through his pain, Ten laughed loudly.
“Doctor, I appreciate your concern,” He said in between, “Kun could never-”
“Ten. There’s no need for dramatics. Like I said, I’m here to help.”
Ten took in deep breaths and answered, “Thank you. If I really was going through domestic abuse, I would be touched. But I’d like my fiancé back in the room with me.”
“Then, can you tell me where you got these bruises? According to Mr. Qian, it was just the two of you.”
“You know what.” Ten glared at her. He gritted his teeth and added, “I woke up and found the bed empty, so I went looking for him. Then someone attacked me from behind.”
“So, it could’ve been him.” She wrote something on the writing pad in her lap.
“No, the fuck?!” Ten felt like he could pull out all his hair. Why wasn’t she listening to him? “it wasn’t Kun! I would’ve recognized him.”
“It’s hard to identify people when you are struggling, isn’t it?”
“Jesus Christ, lady. Stop trying to gaslight me. He was much taller than us, deeper voice.” At least he felt taller; the laughter felt deeper. Ten avoided mentioning the part where he felt the man behind him, but there wasn’t absolutely no one there. Or the fact that he saw and heard himself walk around. “I’ll file a police report in my own time.”
“Okay. I’m sorry. We’ll do a quick check-up again. You are free to go home after that.” She said and got up from the chair. “I can’t help you if you don’t take the first step.”
“Thank you. Can you bring Kun in?”
Kun walked in as Ten glared at his fingernails, finding dirt underneath a few. “Baby, how horrible are you feeling?”
“I was at a five. She dragged it up to ten.”
“She was just looking out for you.”
“There is a difference between looking out and constantly trying to make me doubt myself.” Ten sat up as Kun leaned down to hug him. He slowly slid next to Ten, holding him tightly in his arms. “Kun, what happened?” Ten didn’t bother to hide the slight tremor in his voice anymore.
“I…” Kun’s words trailed off. The beeping of his own heart grew faster, louder, almost too loud in the small room. Ten took in deep breaths, and Kun copied him. He sat back up, staring somewhere above Ten’s head. “I was… I was getting some water when I heard someone call me. From the garden behind the greenhouse. I had gone there to check it out when I heard a commotion in the greenhouse.”
Kun’s breath hitched as he added, “By the time I rushed in, you… You were, you were-”
Ten reached up to hug Kun. He kept his head on Ten’s shoulder and took a deep breath. Ten felt his neck tickle with the warm gust of air. He quietly spoke into the little distance between their bodies, “I thought it was you.”
Kun sat upright, staring into his eyes. Ten tried to look anywhere but Kun while he continued, “I woke up to loud sounds, like something falling. Your side was empty, so I went downstairs. As soon as I found the light switch, I felt something wrap its hands around my neck.”
Ten shivered as the phantom feeling returned. He felt as if he was right back in that library. “When I reached back, there was no one there. Then I heard-”
Kun took Ten’s hand and held it to his mouth, warming them up from the freezing cold gushing through the window’s cracks. Ten couldn’t bring himself to smile. Instead, reliving the night made his stomach drop. Dizziness and nausea were by now a constant companion.
“I heard my voice, Kun. Walking down the stairs, calling for you. The same words I said!” Ten was shouting as he spoke, no longer able to control his words. His eyes looked crazed, filling up with tears, “How the fuck is that possible?!”
Kun held both of Ten’s hands tight to stop him from hitting his chest. He dragged Ten back into a hug and swayed him gently as Ten sobbed into his chest. “What’s happening, Kun?”
“I don’t know,” Kun replied, barely blinking back tears. “We’ll figure it out.”
Ten barely remembered falling asleep, just that the potholes on their driveway awakened him.
“Sorry,” Kun whispered as he looked over for a quick second. “I tried my best to avoid those.”
Ten hummed and leaned back on the seat, lowered enough that he could effortlessly look up at the car roof. There was slight rusting in the corners, though Kun was too attached to the car to exchange it. Ten smiled at the reddened corners and pulled the car seat up. They would reach home within a few minutes anyway.
“Ten,” Kun said as he parked the car in the garage. “I tried to find that lady again. The one who cornered you on the first day….”
“She’s nowhere to be seen?”
Kun nodded and reached toward Ten. He opened the glove compartment and handed over a newspaper clipping. Ten rubbed his eyes to clear out their grit and brought the yellowed pages under the pale light in the car. It was half of a newspaper page, edges torn apart haphazardly. The first thing Ten noticed, for some reason, wasn’t the grainy pictures or the headline written in big block letters, but the date, 10th October 2015. He felt his heart race as he scanned the paper.
‘Gruesome murder on Luna Vale,’ read the title.
‘The maid who discovered the scene has been brought in for questioning.’ was the last line. Ten ignored everything else about the family, including the traumatized son. He felt horrible reading it, scared it might happen to him, to Kun.
The lady’s grainy face stared right into the camera, right at Ten. She looked exactly the same, with the same wrinkles and paper-thin skin. The same peppered hair that made her look less old than her face. She looked every bit like an anomaly, as Ten felt. Ten crumbled up the clipping and threw it out the window.
“I don’t want to see that.” Ten spoke up, his words cautious as he kept staring straight ahead at the white wall. “I don’t want to know anything, Kun. I just want to sleep. Just stay with me.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Kun reached over the console and held Ten in an awkward side hug. He wiped away the tears Ten didn’t know were slowly rolling down his cheeks. Kun quietly chuckled as he added, “It’s been a weird week.”
“No shit…” Ten laughed along and pushed Kun away, stretching loudly on the seat before getting out.
Standing up, especially amidst the cold autumn winds, Ten felt the pain and numbness that stayed in the background hit him head-on. He swayed slightly where he stood before Kun rushed towards him and led him into the bedroom.
“Do you want to go to sleep or take a shower first?” He asked as Ten removed his jacket and threw it on the floor. Kun raised an eyebrow at it and went to pick it up. “Are you that tired?”
Ten groaned and sat down on the couch. The bed seemed so inviting, but he could practically smell the stringent disinfectant on his clothes. He fucking hates that smell, as if he was being dulled of every other sense. Ten leaned back on the couch just to rest his eyes a bit.
“I’ll run the bath for you.” Kun’s voice came from somewhere to his left, near the bathroom door or the walk-in closet. Ten just huffed loudly and heard Kun’s laughter in reply. At least he understood him.
The days moved slowly as if time had turned into a marshland they had to trudge through. Ten barely remembers saying a few words to Kun, especially once the sun sets and the coldness blankets them. He quietly cleans up the wounds on Kun’s back, and they both go to bed with empty stomachs and emptier smiles. They ignore the sounds and whispers traveling throughout the house as they get dragged out of their dreams. Ten felt numb. Even when he heard the sniffles, Kun could barely hide. Ten just felt numb.
That is until Ten woke up to their front door opening, an alarming creak that sounded strangely like a cheetah whining. He reached over to Kun’s side, still warm, as if he had just left. Ten’s shaky breaths left him loudly, too scared to get out of bed. He kept staring at the wide-open bedroom door long enough that his eyes started watering.
“Kun…” He tried whispering into the dark hallway right outside.
He felt a shiver settling in, deep from his chest, obstructing the words he wanted to say right in his throat. He felt like a prisoner in his own mind, shouting for Kun without a single sound escaping his lips. Clutching the comforter tighter to his chest, he reached for his phone on the nightstand next to his head.
Ten sat upright, shining the light from his phone around the room. He swept over every corner, every slight shadow rechecked before he leaned down to check under the bed. He moved the slippers closer to him and quickly stood up. A jerk of a motion.
“Kun…” Ten called out again, clutching his phone tight enough for his palms to start hurting.
The bedroom door was right by him when he heard the creak of the old stairs, the same sound he had gotten used to. Each step that got closer made his heart beat faster. Ten bit down on his knuckles to stop any sound from leaving him as he tiptoed to hide behind the open door. The footsteps got closer and closer. He felt his hands get clammy and quickly wiped them on his sweatpants and held onto them.
The sounds came to a complete halt when the front door closed loudly. The footsteps, the creaks, everything came to a standstill. Ten had never felt more scared in his entire life. His eyes kept rapidly gazing over everything in the room. The pale moonlight filtering through the open curtains created an eerie glow, making the shadows stand out.
Ten held his breath as he felt a loud exhale beside him, only the thin wooden door separating Ten and whoever or whatever was on the other side, hunting him. He held his breath until he felt his chest burning up. He held his breath as a chuckle pierced through the door.
“Li Yong Qin…” A deep voice rumbled out, almost like a song. His name never sounded more oddly threatening. “Where is your Kun?”
Ten released a shaky breath as a knife came into view. The blood on it seemed almost black in the moonlight. He felt tears rolling down his face, drop by drop, like the fresh blood dripping on the wooden floor.
“Don’t you want to see Kun?” The thing laughed.
Ten slowly slid down to the floor. Each breath was an effort, and he couldn't hold back the sobs that accompanied them. He felt the man laugh, almost manically, as Ten wailed for Kun. Ten was at fault. He should’ve ran downstairs. He was at fault. He was at fault. He was-
---
Ten lurched sideways as the car finally stopped in front of the rusted gates. He almost froze his hands off, prying the gates open. He had half a mind to scold Kun, but decided against it when the slippery driveway came into view. The evening chill had started to freeze the snow melted by the bright sun. Ten's muscles trembled as he struggled to maintain balance on the ice, relying on years of yoga to keep him steady.
“Fuck, are you sure about moving here?” Ten asked as he held his hands in front of the air vent. “Did you even see snow before you were an adult?”
Kun laughed and slowly drove the car inside the gate. Ten remained fixed in his seat, not even considering locking it behind them.
“We’ve lived in the city long enough.” Kun shrugged as he served around a shifty-looking patch of road. “It’s too late now anyway.”
“I don’t know how to shovel the snow.” Ten mused as he looked at the knee-deep piles of snow on either side of their drive. The maple trees were bare, carrying bundles of snow. The road seemed to go on forever, or maybe the endless white made it seem so. “How will we shovel this long driveway?”
“I think we just get people to do it for us.” Kun was glaring at the road, as they hit yet another pothole, the tires almost slipping. Kun’s sunglasses slipped down his nose and Ten leaned over to push it back up. “You know what? You are right. Why are we here?”
Ten was about to answer when the car hit a pothole deep enough that he bit his tongue pretty hard. He immediately stuck his tongue out, fanning it with his hands as Kun laughed by his side. As he tried to get the burning down, he turned back to check on the Yangyang. He was still happily asleep, spread out in the backseat.
“How can he even sleep like this?” Ten spoke up with his words muddled, ignoring the slight bloody taste.
He straightened up to find Kun smiling at the sleeping boy through the rearview mirror. “I told you it’ll be better to have him surrounded by bags. He didn’t move one bit.”
“I just didn’t want him to feel suffocated.”
Ten smiled at the snow-covered gothic manor as Kun parked the car inside the garage. He was here throughout the past month, making sure the restorations and cleaning up were up to speed. There was less snow and more leaves the last time he was here. They were just waiting for Yangyang’s winter break to start before formally moving in.
Kun quickly hopped out of the car and examined the garage, the smell of paint still wafting in the closed room. This was the first time Kun’s been here since the renovations started. The space used to be filled with junk and pale yellow wallpaper, but now it looked sleek with white paint and hidden storage space.
Ten leaned back in his seat and poked Yangyang on his leg. “Wake up! We’re here.”
“Hyung, no, go away.” He grunted and shifted around, face shoved into the seat.
“Yangyang.” Ten warned as he hit his leg again, “get out. Also, give me our jackets. You’re sleeping on them.”
Yangyang swore loudly and sat up, rubbing his eye as he looked out the window. His voice was raspy with sleep as he asked, “We reached already? Kun ge said it’ll take at least half a day to drive up.”
“It’s been a lot longer than half a day, kid.” Ten laughed and pointed at the dashboard, “It’s almost five pm.”
Kun opened the door for the kid, his face looking into the snow-covered garden. Seeing Yangyang awake, he said with an exaggerated smile, “You’re back with us!”
Yangyang stuck his tongue out at Kun and jumped out of the car, almost landing on Kun’s foot. He pulled his hoodie over his messy hair and walked to the entry door inside the garage.
“Yangyang, stop!” Kun yelled as Yangyang reached for the doorknob. The kid jumped back as if stung and glared at him, his hands still frozen in midair. Kun scratched the back of his neck before taking out their jackets from the backseat. “Sorry, it’s our first time, so we should get in through the front door.”
Yangyang huffed and snatched the jacket from his hand. He threw it on his shoulder and walked out into the front yard, sticking his tongue out at Kun. Ten shook his head and wore his coat properly as Kun uttered, “Teenagers….”
Three of them stood below the stairs, staring at the large oak front door. The one thing in this house, Ten was adamant about preserving. A lot of walls and windows were changed to fit the current specifications, but Ten made sure to bring the door back to life. The intricate designs carved onto the wood were one of a kind, making Ten feel almost nostalgic.
“You did well,” Kun said, looking absolutely bright-eyed as he peeked at the exterior.
“Of course.” Ten knocked his shoulder to Kun’s and laced their fingers together, “I’m an award-winning architect.”
“Of course.” Kun laughed and leaned in to give him a quick kiss, and as always, it was accompanied by the sound of a teenager’s dry heaving. This time it was Kun who stuck his tongue out at Yangyang, making Ten laugh at the affronted look he got in return.
‘You’re here…’
Ten flinched and darted his eyes around as he heard a whisper float by his ears. Kun and Yangyang raised their eyebrows and tilted their heads at his sudden mood change, looking alarmingly like cats.
“Cats!” Ten shouted and ran to the car, “Kun! Where’s Louis and Leon?”
“Who?” both of them ran behind Ten as he looked scrambled through the contents of the car. Kun pulled him back from tossing their bags, and Yangyang started keeping them upright.
“Ten, what’s wrong?” Kun said, shaking violently as he held Ten close in a tight hug. It wasn’t until Ten felt his feet wobble that he realized he was the one shaking.
A loud peal of laughter echoed in the bowels of the house.
‘That was quick...’
“Kun, get Yangyang out!” Ten pushed him away and dragged him into the car. He then forced Yangyang inside. He cried, repeatedly hitting on the windows. “Go! Get away!”
As Kun tried to get out of the car, Ten felt someone hold him back. A hand snaked around his chest as the other held something sharp to his neck.
Kun’s eyes widened as he rushed out. Yangyang stayed inside, his hands visibly shaking as he tried to call the cops.
Ten knew how this was going to play out. He knew it’ll take too long for them to show up. Kun hurried towards him, but the distance between them remained the same. The tear droplets falling from their eyes, the sounds of frenzied breathing… Ten hated reliving this. Exactly this.
He grabbed the knife by his neck and took a deep breath. Smiling at Kun, he voicelessly muttered, “I love you,” and shoved the sharp knife to the side of his throat.
---
Ten opened his eyes to the snow falling outside his window. The curtain was pulled back as instructed, the lights dimmed, and the security camera pointed at him by the corner. Ignoring the trail of tears, Ten stared out the window, the only thing he saw, day and night.
The window looked out directly at a tree, gradually growing taller. Ten could easily recall when it used to be a tiny sapling. Now it’s a mighty pine, home to many chipmunks that he sees scurrying along the branches. He kept staring at snowflakes calmly falling, accompanied by the distant rumbling of Christmas cheers. He sighed and kept staring till the door to his room opened. Like clockwork every evening for the past ten years.
“Hey, Hyung!” Yangyang said as he removed his jacket and scarf and hung it on the coat rack. His hoodie was barely warm enough for the absurd temperature Ten liked to leave the room in. “I got some cookies Xiaojun baked specifically for you. They’ll all come tomorrow for Christmas festivities, by the way. Sicheng ge apparently has some gifts you’ll enjoy.”
Ten turned his head to the side, his wheelchair sitting by the bed. Yangyang noticed his stare and asked, “you want to sit? Shall we go downstairs? There’s a massive decorated tree. I was honestly in awe. You’ll love it.”
Ten shook his head and, in his rarely used gravelly voice, said, "No, just the window."
Yangyang smiled and lifted Ten into the wheelchair. Years of lying in bed meant he was more bones than body. These days, Yangyang is sometimes scared of touching Ten, scared that he’ll break him with the slightest of touches. He pushed the wheelchair closer to the window and leaned over to ensure that Ten was properly covered in his blanket.
“The nurses tell me you’ve not been very present this week.” Yangyang said as he pulled up a chair and sat beside Ten.
He placed a bit of the cookie in Ten’s mouth, finally relaxing as he watched him slowly chew. Ten couldn’t force his hands to control the food in them. Sometimes he could barely move them enough to press the button by his bedside.
“Hyung, you should just stay with me. At home.”
Ten shook his head. They’ve had this conversation a million times. “No. I’m good here.”
Yangyang sighed and sat back in his chair, staring out into the snow-covered forest. The silence went on for a while, long enough that Ten was sure he’d hate the words that followed. “Next weekend, you want to come with me to see Kun ge? It’s his birthday. He’d like seeing you, I’m sure.”
Ten felt the sides of his eyes getting wet. Kun’s birthday, what’s the fucking use of wishing his grave a happy birthday, “He’d hate to see me like this. He died trying to save me, and I still ended up a living corpse.”
“Hyung, you’re not-“
“Yeah, I know, but it hurts anyway.”
Yangyang wiped the tears from Ten’s face and held the cookie for him again. “Is everything good here? You need me to get any schedules changed?”
“No, you should go. It’s Christmas Eve, go enjoy.” Ten replied. He wanted to go back to sleep and be taken away from real life to the one where he could fix his mistakes. He hates being awake.
“We’ll all be here tomorrow evening,” Yangyang said. He helped Ten back on the bed and tucked him in. “Good night Hyung.”
“Yangyang,” Ten called out, making him walk back in, “how are you? Are you still getting night terrors?”
Yangyang shrugged and leaned down to hug Ten. “I’m fine,” he whispered into Ten’s shoulder, a slight quiver in his words as he added, “I just miss you guys sometimes.”
Yangyang sniffled before he straightened up and walked to the door, not once looking at Ten. “Sleep hyung. I’ll come as soon as I’m up.”
Ten hates being awake. He hates the dark shadows in the corner of his room, always smiling, mouth red with blood, patiently waiting for his last breath to drag him away, just like Kun. Ten hates being awake, hates the burn as the shadow squeezes burning-hot fingers around his throat. Ten takes the torture lying down, not even a tear falling. His eyes get heavy as he sees the blackened teeth and vile breath suffocate him more than the hand around his throat.
“Let’s have some more fun…"
---
Ten lurched sideways as the car pulled up the rough driveway. He lowered the windows and gazed out at the open fields to one side and the neatly lined trees down the other. He turned off the radio to enjoy the chirps of birds waking up from their slumber for food.
“Beautiful.” He smiled and sat back. Kun was wearing a similar smile, his face half covered by the bright glasses Ten gifted him. The red of the lenses reflected onto his cheeks, making them seem bright pink. Ten laughed and took out his camera to click the photo. It’ll be perfect blackmail material after he develops it.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking a picture of my best friend. What else?”
“Best friend?” Kun laughed and quickly looked around the car, “I didn’t know we had an invisible friend in the car.”
Ten froze up, though when Kun reached over to hold his hand tightly. He lost his train of thought and squeezed back. They pulled into the garage of the newly built manor as he was distracted. Everything smelled of fresh paint and wood varnish. He hopped out of the car with a huge grin and quickly walked to the front of the house. Kun laughed, seeing the spring in his step. “Excited, babe?”
“Far away from straying eyes, just you and me. Nothing is better than that.” As Ten finished his words, he swore he could hear a peal of loud laughter echoing somewhere inside the house.
‘Welcome back…’