Chapter Text
Kara knew it was only a matter of time before her sister dragged her out to a ‘fun night out’ as she called it. Kara almost managed to avoid it this time, but Alex, anticipating that, came to bring her out herself.
Sitting at the small pub, Kara felt out of her element. Besides Alex and her girlfriend Kelly, Kara didn’t really know anyone there. Sure, she’d met most of Alex’s friends in passing, but she didn’t even know most of their names. She greeted them politely with a small nod and a forced smile, before quickly heading towards a booth and sliding into the corner seat.
An overly pink drink was presented to her not a minute after she sat down. It was incredibly sweet, just like she preferred. Kara slowly nursed her drink in the corner while the rest of the group chatted and laughed loudly among themselves. There was a small part of her that wanted to feel included, to know what it was like to be part of the group, what it was like to feel like she belonged. Yet, a much bigger part of her wanted to run away from the loud voices and the crowd, to hide in her room with a book.
Alex attempted to include her in their conversations throughout the night; she turned to her several times with a question, or looked for ways to mention her to give Kara a way into the current topic at hand. But despite trying, the commotion and noises around her felt too overwhelming for her to relax, and Kara felt like she couldn't add much besides providing a simple smile and a nod.
After a while, Alex gave up.
Kara loved her sister, she really did. Alex was her best friend in the whole world. She was her only friend, actually. She loved their special nights where it was just the two of them, watching movies and talking about their days. Nowadays Kelly would join them when she could, and that would also be fine. But this? This was too much for her. This was very much not her thing.
Looking around the table, she decided to make another attempt, it was technically her party after all. Kelly was engrossed in conversation with Alex and another guy talking about writing their thesis, or was it a new t.v show? Kara wasn’t sure, the music and the several conversations around them made it hard to pin down. She instead turned to the girl next to her, Angie was it? She was pretty confident her name started with an A at the very least.
“Hey,” Kara turned to her with a forced smile.
“Oh, hey,” the girl seemed somewhat surprised by Kara’s approach.
“Um, how… how are you doing?” Oh god, she was sounding pathetic.
“I’m good, and you?”
“I'm okay.” She nodded, unsure how to keep the conversation going. “So… have you read anything interesting lately?” Kara tried. She was confident in her ability to talk about books at least. The most recent one she read really caught her by surprise, and while Alex didn't have much time to read nowadays, she was really looking forward to talking about it.
“No. Books aren’t really my thing,” She chuckled as if the notion was obviously ridiculous.
Kara attempted what she hoped looked like a smile and turned to her drink again, hoping to be swallowed by the ground beneath her. Angie continued to talk about some metal band she was listening to, but after seeing Kara’s lack of enthusiasm, the conversation died down soon after. Kara was relieved, yet alone once again. She debated for a few minutes if she could get her phone up without her sister noticing. Eventually, succumbing to her anxiety, needing some kind of escape from the world around her, Kara looked around before gingerly pulling out her phone, and pressed on the kindle app. She just got to a good part in the book she was reading before her sister dragged her out to that stupid bar, and was desperate to read more.
Kara managed to finish a whole page before she felt a kick on her leg under the table, looking up to meet her sister’s gaze, Alex mouthed ‘no phones’ with her signature stern look before heading back to the bar. Rolling her eyes, Kara reluctantly pushed her phone back into her pocket. Alex decided to use it as an opportunity to bring out some shots. She handed each of them a small glass before raising her own, signalling them all to do the same.
“As you know, this is my sister’s last night here in Midvale.” Alex’s sentence was followed by cheers from around the table. Kara gave them all a tied mouth smile. “Kara, I hope you know that moving all the way to the big city doesn’t mean you’re getting rid of me, I will call you every day. I wish you the best of luck with your new job, if you need any ghostbusters, you know who you're gonna call.” She said with a wink. “To Kara!” She finished by raising her glass higher and downing it all in one go.
Kara downed her own glass, quickly grabbing her pink drink to wash away the bitter taste in her mouth. She flashed a smile at her sister as thanks and turned back her focus to her drink. It might have not been her thing, but Alex did try her best, she knew how worried she was regarding her social situation, or lack thereof. And yeah, she felt lonely sometimes, but she preferred her alone time rather than going to a crowded bar, which was the main hangout place in Midvale as far as she could tell. That was maybe the biggest downside of her new job, the distance from her sister, but other than that, she couldn’t wait to start.
Her new job was at a small library in National City, right next to National City University, to manage a whole library all by herself, like she always dreamed of. Well, maybe managing wasn't the right word considering she would be the only full time employee, as the library was severely underfunded and could barely pay for the one librarian. Not that it was a bad thing, she preferred it like that anyway, just her and the books. The only thing that put her off at first was the library reputation.
It was known to be haunted.
Not that Kara believes in ghosts, obviously. Ghosts were not real. But just in case, she made sure to ask about it. For safety reasons, of course. From what she could gather, the reputation started due to the library’s proximity to the university. The labs that share a wall with the library had a variety of machines that released odd sounds, which was what originated the rumours. After a while, the rumours grew and spread like fire, earning the library its current reputation.
Waking up the next morning with a mild hangover, Kara was grateful she had finished packing everything the day before. Unfortunately it meant her precious coffee machine was deep inside one of the many boxes scattered around her small apartment. She wondered if she could just stay in her bed for at least until the end of the week when a loud knock on the door brought her back to reality.
"I brought coffee." Her sister let herself in, holding a cup of coffee from Kara’s favourite place in each hand.
"Omg I love you." Kara said, taking the cup her sister handed her.
"Wow you look terrible, you really need to work on your tolerance."
Kara responded by sticking her tongue out before taking a much needed sip of her precious coffee.
"Come here you." Alex pulled her into a big warm hug. Kara tried to extend the hand that held the coffee so as not to spill it on her sister. "You drive safe, alright? And call me first thing when you arrive," Alex added.
"Will do," she answered, her voice slightly muffled through her sister's shoulder.
"Ok, now go hit the road if you want to make it in time." Alex tapped her on her back and released her from the hug.
"What time is it?"
"7:15."
"Oh, damn." Kara briskly collected her bags and searched for her keys.
"Oh, who knew being late would make you so crude."
"Shut up." Kara finally found her car keys under some random papers in her bag. She stopped abruptly by the door and turned back to her sister. "Love you Alex. I'll call you when I get there."
"Love you too." Alex called out while Kara was already making her way out.
Igniting the engine of her car, Kara waved goodbye at her sister and the house she called home and drove away. She passed by her old school and the main street that was still fairly empty this early in the morning. Passing by the sign telling her she was leaving Midvale, Kara said goodbye to the familiar life she led so far. It was strange, guilt mixed with excitement followed her as the view around her changed from the green fields surrounding Midvale to the traffic jams and concrete buildings surrounding National City.
Looking at the clock of her car Kara started to worry she might be late. She attempted to look ahead to see how far the traffic jam went, but it seemed like it was going on forever. Sinking back into her seat she turned up her music and looked around while she sang along, but nobody in the other cars seemed to care. There was something liberating about it, feeling like a stranger in a new place, she had a chance to discover the world on her own terms, which was both exciting and terrifying.
She did end up late thanks to the tedious traffic, luckily her new landlady was kind enough to wait for her and hand her the keys after her strings of apologies. Kara was there only once before, but she really liked the place. It was a pretty small, one bedroom apartment, but it was cosy, close to the library, and within her price range.
Kara was ecstatic for her first day in her new job. She couldn't sleep the night before and ended up being too early. A librarian from another branch named Alice walked her through her duties and anything she might need to know. She gave Kara her number and told her to call her if she ever ran into trouble. The library was not too big, and after being shown around, she roamed freely to explore it herself.
Kara could definitely understand why people believed it to be haunted, even without the strange noises.
The library opened to a small open space, it was illuminated mainly by the morning light shining through the windows and the main door, and a single working lightbulb on the low ceiling. This area had a few shelves and some small couches for some small kid-friendly events. Slightly further to the right was a big open space with one big desk in the centre with many study desks scattered around it. it was probably the only well lit area in the place apart from the entrance.
Her desk was the big white one next to the storage room. It had a good viewing point to the study area, while still being able to look at the entrance to her right. She could also potentially see the rows upon rows of closely stacked bookcases behind the open area. If they weren't so dark, that was.
Most rows had only a handful of working small lights towards the end of each row, with some of them flickering at random times. It worked well to hide most of the cracks and spots of peeling paint, but wasn't the best when it came to looking for books. It probably explained why there were small stock flashlights in one of her drawers. Whoever bought them definitely had a sense of humour considering they were all shaped like old timey oil lamps. Behind her was a very large staff room, that was used from anything like storage to break room, and lost and found.
Her first week was relatively quiet, yet very unsettling. Kara had to remind herself several times that the library was not haunted and ghosts weren't real. The noises from the walls were indeed troubling. They had no patterns, as far as she could tell, and appeared at the oddest of times. She also met with the two part time employees, Winn and Nia. They were still students themselves working on their Doctorate and Masters, therefore only working a couple of days throughout the week, but usually ended up spending more time there. It was a great space to study in after all, once you got used to the sounds.
Other than her two coworkers, the library was mostly empty. Kara assumed more students would find their way there once the exam period started. The few students that did make an appearance were usually very quiet, and rarely tried to strike up a conversation aside from polite greetings, or the occasional question. They did however tend to leave the most bizarre things.
Among the lost notebooks and sweatshirts she collected, Kara also found a ukulele, a petri dish with some mould, a condom someone left inside a book to her horror, a sealed wine bottle, a few circuit boards, an odd machine with a green light Kara feared might be a bomb, and what she hoped was not a human skull. All those weird disturbing stuff were shoved in a box at the end of the back room.
The back room itself was surprisingly spacious but very messy. Assorted boxes littered the space on either side, leaving a narrow pathway from the door to the far wall which Kara found a little creepy, if she was honest. It was made creepier by the fact that when she did turn the light switch on, it just flickered before emitting a faint dull light in the room. But it was fine, because ghosts were totally not real. Totally.
And this was where she first saw her.
Kara needed to get the small ladder from the end of the back room for Nia, so she took out one of the lamps and braved her way inside. She was looking at the floor at first, as to not trip over a book or a stray box she indeed found on the ground and had to hop over, when the lights started to flicker again. Kara flinched and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself, she really needed to look into fixing that light. A sudden flash of white at the end of the room startled her once more. It was just the light, she reminded herself, the stupid broken light. But looking up again made her freeze in place.
There was a figure at the end of the room.
The figure had long dark messy hair that covered most of her face, and a long white coat or a dress. She briefly wondered if it was Winn playing a trick on her, but she could see the green light from the lost and found box that was behind her, meaning she could see through her. Kara swallowed hard and tried to find a rational explanation for it in her mind. The figure could be a weird reflection, or perhaps a cardboard cutout Nia had brought for the Halloween party at the end of the month? Kara slowly raised the lamp with a shaky hand to further examine the figure, when it suddenly started to move.
The figure lifted its head as if to say something, but Kara screamed and made a bolt for the door. She fell to the ground and hit her head forgetting the stray box she had leaped over just moments ago. Her lamp had shattered on the ground, but she didn’t let it stop her as she quickly rose to her feet and continued her frantic run until she was safe outside the room. With a hand on her chest and her back against the room’s door, she tried her best to get her breathing back in control. Lifting her gaze, she was met with Nia’s confused look.
“Use a chair.” It came out more like a bark, but Kara was too distressed to care at that moment.
Nia furrowed her brows in question but didn’t say anything, she slowly nodded and walked away to fetch a chair, keeping a concerned look towards Kara the entire time.
Kara must’ve not looked right, she tried to reassure herself. Maybe it was a case of glass projection. It was a thing, right? Thinking back at the figure, she reminded her of the girl from the ring in some way. Not that she had actually seen the movie, but she knew that girl was bad and scary. Kara thought about looking her up, but was too terrified to do so.
Once her breathing got back to normal, Kara decided to risk a peek inside the room. She didn’t get fully inside, just to make sure she could escape easily if needed. Using her phone, she directed the light on the spot where she saw the figure before, but it was not there anymore. All she could see was the shelf holding the disturbing collection of the lost and found items. The green machine light reflecting through the eye of the skull was somehow less disturbing after her recent encounter.
“Kara, I really need the ladder.” Nia’s voice surprised her as the girl emerged from behind a bookcase of the historical fiction section on the far left.
She was being silly, ghosts weren’t real. Plus, the girl from the ring came out of a tv not a book. Not that she was real. None of it was real. Kara must’ve seen an odd reflection of a video. Yes, that must've been it, she did her best to convince herself. Just in case, she took another peek inside. She saw only piles of boxes, books and the same green light, like before.
“Look, I’m not afraid of spiders or whatever bug you saw in there, though tell me it’s not a rat. It’s not a rat, right?” Nia put the chair back in place and made her way around the librarian's desk towards the room.
“Um.. no no. It was not a rat, I thought I saw… someone," she mumbled.
"Like Winn? Or another student?"
"No, I think… you know, I might have imagined it." She didn't want to sound crazy in front of a person she only recently met, especially one she actually liked.
"Ok? Well, can I get in?"
Kara slowly nodded.
Grabbing a lamp from the librarian’s desk, Nia made her way inside. Kara opened her own phone to give her more light, she also kept the door open with a chair to give them both an escape route in case she needed to go in and help her out.
"There's a broken lamp in here." Nia announced from inside.
"Mm." Kara only hummed in acknowledgment as she kept her eyes locked on the far end of the room.
Nia found the ladder and made it out of the back room with no incidents.
"Thanks.” Nia put down the lamp on her desk and lifted up the ladder. “By the way,” She turned back to Kara, “we are having a game night tonight if you want to come. It's just me, Winn and my boyfriend Brainy. It will be awesome, and we have snacks. You should come."
"Sorry I can't,” She flashed her a tight lipped smile. “I have a thing with my sister. But next time, maybe." She didn't have to say that her thing was a phone call and her sister wasn't in town, right?
"Ok, next time." She said and made her way back to the historical fiction section.
Kara opened the room several more times that day, but she didn't see the figure again.
The next day, Kara had managed to convince herself that whatever she saw yesterday was just a figment of her own imagination. At least until she finished cleaning the floor of the very dusty nature section and was greeted with the figure once again. Like a deer caught in the headlights, the figure looked right at her with wide eyes. As if she was afraid to make any sudden movements.
With her hair out of her face, Kara could clearly see her features. As she suspected, the figure was indeed a girl, a woman really. The cloth she was wearing looked more like a slightly singed lab robe than a dress. She had some similar black markings on her face as well. Despite her dishevelled look, her confident posture and sharp jaw still made her look threatening somehow.
Kara didn't run this time. Looking at the figure, she knew for a fact that she was definitely not dreaming. But she wanted to know what was her deal. Kara wanted to say something, but felt paralyzed by the piercing gaze of the woman's green eyes. So she waited, not sure what for, but she did. The woman seemed to be waiting as well, maybe she was waiting to see if she'd run away again.
After a pregnant pause, the woman started to move forward very slowly. She kept her eyes on Kara as she extended a hand towards her, like one would when approaching a frightened animal. Kara swallowed while the woman got closer. Heart racing hysterically in her chest, she took a step backwards which made the woman stop abruptly in her place. The sudden movement made the woman lose her balance and stumble forward. She managed to find her balance without falling down, but not before Kara sent an instinctive hand forward in order to help the stranger out. To her surprise, her hand passed right through the woman in front of her.
Kara's eyes widened as she realised what the woman in front of her was.
She was a ghost.
Kara was standing in front of a ghost.
The ghost opened her mouth to talk, and Kara once again ran for dear life. Her heart was racing in her chest, and she was breathing so fast she thought she might faint. Kara made it safely to her well lit desk surrounded by some people at the very least. It wasn't much, but she felt slightly safer there.
She just saw a ghost.
Her haunted library really was actually haunted.
Once Kara managed to calm herself down a bit, she turned to her computer to do some proper research. Typing in 'how to get rid of a ghost' in the search bar yielded more results than she anticipated. She felt a bit ridiculous, believing in ghosts was always something reserved for children or people who were overly into spirituality, but then again she had just seen a real actual ghost! One that she passed her hand through, no less. It felt weird, she couldn't really describe the feeling but it wasn't a very pleasant one. She wondered if the ghost could actually hurt her if she were to pass through her. Would she be able to possess her? Kill her?
The most popular suggestion online seemed to be cleansing the place, preferably through burning sage, but she wasn't really a fan of having anything fire related near the books. Luckily crystals were also considered a good option, and hopefully just as effective. A lot of websites also suggested communicating with the ghost but she preferred not to risk it unless she had to.
Both Winn and Nia didn't seem to even notice the ghost as far as she could tell. Granted, they weren't there as much as her, and most of their time there was spent in the well lit studying area, but still, she expected something. Kara found herself attempting to participate in more of their conversations in an attempt to discern if they were aware of this phenomenon, or perhaps she would discover it was a normal occurrence in the city.
Nia mainly talked about a potential subject for an upcoming assignment and her recent date with her boyfriend, Brainy (a disappointing superhero movie and some good ice cream). And Winn complained about being behind on his lab work because of a recent explosion in one of the tech labs that forced a complete shutdown in the area. There were less random noises recently now that she thought about it.
“Hey ,Kara, do you wanna join us for game night? We're playing Munchkin tonight. We'd love to have you." Nia asked as she collected her belongings.
“We have a new expansion so it should be fun!” Winn promised.
“Sorry I have a thing tonight.” She could only use her sister as an excuse so much.
“A thing?” Nia tilted her head in question.
“Yeah,” she nodded. “Sorry it's a long story, but maybe another time.”
“Alright, have fun with your thing.” Winn gave her a smile as he followed Nia outside of the library.
“Thanks.” she sighed to herself.
Right after her shift Kara made her way to a small mystical shop she found online called 'Madame Xanadu's'. A few days ago she would've probably dismissed that kind of shop as a money trap, but after what she just went through, she started to question everything she thought she knew.
Madame Xanadu was very cryptic but surprisingly nice and forthcoming, enthusiastically telling her about different ghost hunting methods of which Kara did her best to listen and absorb all the information. An hour later, she exited the store with a bunch of special crystals in a variety of colours to put in different places of the library, along with some salt bags and some sage madame Xanadu insisted she would burn right outside the entrance of the library.
Very carefully, Kara covered every corner of the library with crystals. When Winn and Nia inquired she simply told them she is setting up a mood for Halloween. She even burned the sage outside the entrance just in case.
Despite all of her efforts, Kara still saw the ghost. The ghost did seem to hide or disappear into bookcases every time she was spotted, but she wasn't sure if it was the work of the crystals pushing her away, or if the ghost just decided to give her space.
After returning to Madame Xanadu's several times to inquire, Kara finally caved in and agreed to both madame Xanadu's and the internet's advice to try and communicate with the ghost to understand her intentions.
On her way to the library the next day, Kara did her best to try and talk herself up for the task despite her growing ball of anxiety in her stomach. The ghost hadn't attacked her so far, if anything she was actively avoiding her. She did consider that it might be part of a bigger plot, but she had to learn what her deal was somehow.
Kara found that once she actually wanted to initiate a conversation, she couldn't even find the ghost. She spotted her a few times throughout the day, but as usual, she disappeared before she could say anything. She would've called her, but Kara feared that people would think she had gone completely crazy. So she waited after closing time, quickly locking the door after the last visitor left. She did keep the key tacked in her hand, in the event she needed to run for her life.
With no light from the outside sipping through the main door and the few small windows, the library was significantly darker, even with all the lights on. The few that did work, that was. Despite calling facilities several times to fix it, most of the bulbs just refused to work properly. She stood up next to her desk, gripping the key tightly in her hand and spoke out loud.
“Reveal yourself! Tell me why are you here!” Kara waited a moment, not sure if she was even heard. She felt a bit silly if anything, that was until she heard a response.
“Are you going to scream and run away again?” She heard from the darkness behind one of the bookcases.
Kara seriously considered that. “No,” she lied. “I just want to talk.”
“Alright then,” the ghost walked from inside the bookcase into the study area right in front of her desk, crossing her arms as she walked. “Talk.”
Despite hoping for this outcome, Kara was startled. She took a deep breath to help control her racing heart, before she continued.
“Why are you here?”
“I don’t know.” The ghost shrugged, crossing her arms against her chest.
“How did you get here?”
“I don’t know.” That was getting frustrating.
“Who are you?” she said a bit more forcefully.
“Oh, that I do know. Lena Luthor, nice to officially meet you, Kara.” The ghost said with a smirk.
Kara was stunned. “How do you know my name?” she whispered, taking a small step back.
“Well, I have been hanging around this place for about a week now.”
Oh right, it made sense.
"Kara Danvers, nice to meet you too." Kara said a bit too quickly, feeling the need to properly introduce herself. She extended her hand formally for a shake only for the ghost, Lena, to raise an eyebrow before Kara realised her mistake.
Right, ghosts can't shake hands.
"So… how come you don't know?"
"I just don't remember."
"So you don't remember how you died?" Only after she said it out loud did Kara realise it might not have been a very polite question to ask.
"Excuse me?" Lena's hands quickly uncrossed and flew to her sides.
"I mean, you know…" Kara really didn't want to be the one to break the news. They were big news after all. And also Lena still frightened her, especially with that pissed look she had on her face. She wasn't sure what a ghost outburst looked like, and she didn't want to find out.
"I very obviously do not, so why don't you enlighten me." Lena took a step forward inciting Kara to instinctively step back. She hit the wall behind her and swallowed hard.
"I... I mean you're a ghost." She managed to say, despite the ghost now being very close to her face and all she wanted to do was run through the door, but she feared the ghost would get her.
Kara expected pure ghostly fury, an attack maybe, but she definitely did not expect the ghost to burst out laughing. Laughing so hard in fact she had to take a step back and hold her side. Kara knew everyone had their own way to deal with grief, but that was weird. She supposed she never knew anyone who had to deal with their own death before so she couldn't really compare reactions.
"I'm sorry." She offered weakly.
"Oh no, don't apologise, I haven't laughed this much in a while. I really needed that." She said still trying to control herself.
"I mean I'm sorry you're dead." Kara specified.
"Oh darling, I'm not dead."
"Then what–"
"It is very odd I'll give you that, but let's not jump straight into blaming the supernatural. I simply need to remember, whatever it is that actually happened."
"I mean I didn't believe in it either, but Lena, can I call you Lena?"
"It is my name." The ghost slowly returns to her stoic self.
Kara really didn't know how to talk to this ghost-person. "Well Lena, I mean can you find any other explanation?"
She was quiet for a minute before she replied. "Not immediately."
"Well, it fits." Kara was finally comfortable enough to step back from the wall. Lena was very still. "What can you remember, maybe we can piece it together?" she suggested.
"It's not much, I remember working on a device in a lab I think and then darkness. The next thing I know I found myself here."
"A lab? Like one in the university?"
"University… I think so. Yes." Her eyes drifted off in an attempt to remember.
"That must be NCU, it's right next to the library. Do you remember what you were working on?"
"I don't… I think something about food or water? I’m not sure."
"Water and food, okay. And how did it go?"
"I…" she started, and then suddenly stopped. She seemed lost inside a sea of empty memories, trying to solve an impossible puzzle.
Kara knew what it was like. Waking up after the accident that took her parents away from her, she had trouble with her memories at first, especially those of the event. It was a kindness really, but after a while it all came back to her.
She wanted to give Lena some physical comfort, the kind that always helps her, but unfortunately, she was unable to grant this kindness to the ghost. There were so many questions she wanted to ask her, but she didn't want to overwhelm her, especially when she feared she had done so already.
Lena's squinted eyebrows suddenly rose up in shock, whatever she remembered wasn't good.
"I think I remember a bright light, it was very sudden." She said weakly.
"Maybe it had to do with the explosion in the labs? I heard there was one not long ago."
Lena's eyes grew wide with an expression Kara couldn't discern. Fear, or was it shock? Maybe a combination of the two. And then, without another word the ghost disappeared into thin air.
Kara blinked in confusion, she looked around but couldn't see a sign from the ghost. She waited a few minutes, and looked around the place. After 15 minutes she started to call out for her but to no avail. After 30 minutes she finally gave up and went home.
Kara couldn't find Lena when she arrived at the library early the next day. It was a matter of time she figured, either that or she finally managed to exorcise her. Maybe laughter really was the answer to everything, like her mum used to always tell her. She was curious about the accident though, and if Lena couldn't tell her, one of her co-workers probably could. Kara didn't want to seem too eager to talk about it, so she waited a bit and tried to slide it into a casual conversation.
"So, Winn, you said the other day you are behind your lab work because something in the labs, did they fix it? Are you ok with your projects?" She raised the subject while he helped her organise the fiction selection, after receiving a new shipment.
"Oh no, not at all. They actually let us postpone most of the deadlines now that the police are involved. So don't worry, I'm good with my shift." He flashed her a bright smile.
"The police? What happened?" Kara tried her best to sound natural.
"Well they're keeping it all hush hush, some say that big money is involved. But apparently a student was killed." He said in a very low voice, as if the police might pop up behind a corner and arrest him.
"Who?" She whispered.
"Nobody knows, there are a few rumours. Owen Mercer is one, but he is known to disappear off the grid and then make a sudden return. And Lena Luthor, who is barely seen in general, tends to keep to herself mostly. Some people are saying it could be Richard Malverne but I'm pretty sure I've seen him just the other day, maybe, I’m not sure actually."
"What do you think?" She tried to keep her eyes on the low shelf she was organising.
"I bet it's Luthor, only they have that kind of money to keep it so quiet. Also Jack Spheer, who was apparently close to Lena, swears she is missing and the police are telling him to keep quiet. He even says that every post he posted online about it mysteriously disappears."
Lifting her eyes, she was met with a piercing green gaze from right behind Winn who was still busy with the shelf. She got so used to the sudden appearance of Lena, that she wasn't even fazed this time, or maybe it was their short conversation that finally put her at ease. Lena looked frozen in shock. Kara held her gaze and felt a rush of emotions wash over her. She wanted her gone, she was sure of it, but at that moment she was filled with too much sorrow and empathy for this poor woman.
Winn finished with his pile and went to grab the next one, when he noticed Kara's stare. He was clearly about to turn around so Kara knew she had to distract him.
"Winn." She said a bit louder than she meant to. She wanted to follow that with something but nothing came to her mind. Yet that was enough to keep his attention on her, and to help Lena snap out of her shock. She walked back into the bookcase, disappearing from view behind it.
"Yes?" He looked a bit concerned. When she didn't immediately answer, he turned around to see the empty space that occupied Lena mere seconds ago. He turned back to her in confusion. "What was that?"
"I… I just remembered that there was a time change for the kids event for next week. Can you change the ad to 14:30 and resend it all?" She somehow managed to blur out.
"Um.. yeah sure. But what about those books?" He gestured to the several piles of books still on the ground. And while she could've used his help, she needed a moment alone with Lena more.
"I can handle the rest." She said decisively.
"Ok," He mumbled as he walked away.
Kara followed his silhouette as he walked away, the moment he disappeared from her view she turned to see Lena's morbid face once again.
"So I really am dead." It was said very quietly and not as a question. Her arms were wrapped around herself, attempting to provide herself with some physical comfort in the only way she could get in her state.
"I mean maybe Jack was just overreacting." Kara was not sure what was the point in that, but Lena seemed so small and lost, she just wanted to comfort her.
"No, don't get me wrong he can be a drama queen, and the most annoying person on this planet, but I trust his judgement."
There was a pregnant pause between them. Kara wasn't sure what to say, it suddenly felt real.
"I'm sorry."
"Thanks." Lena's answer was almost too quiet to hear, it was only thanks to the fact that they were far enough away from anything, in a very quiet library that she could even hear her.
They stood there for a moment, letting the silence grow between them.
"So how do I break out of this hellish existence?" She tried to sound confident and aloof like their first conversation, but her voice cracked towards the end of the sentence, she looked more vulnerable than ever before.
Kara didn't really think about it from her perspective, she was so afraid for her own and everybody else’s safety so far. The thought of Lena's own feelings on the subject didn't even cross her mind. Lena described it as hellish, and it probably was; existing without a purpose, not being able to touch anything or anyone, not being able to eat or sleep.
"I will do my best to help you out." Lena was no longer a demonic ghost haunting her work place, she was a real person in need of help. Kara’s protective senses kicked in, and she made a silent vow to help Lena find peace so she could move on.
Kara started her research on ghosts and exorcism right away, collecting guided questions to ask Lena and any bit of information that could help. She even asked her peers if they knew anything about it, explaining it was related to a story idea when they asked why. They didn't know a lot, but they actually helped her research a bit more, which made the experience way more fun, Kara had to admit. She also made sure Lena had something to do, she spread open 5 books she liked in the back room, illuminating them by one of the little lamps, and made sure to come back in and flip all the pages every few minutes. She knew 5 books wasn't ideal but she couldn't spend all her time there, especially after she found out that Lena was a really fast reader. A fact that brought up a whole new conversation about books, Kara was delighted to learn Lena shared her love to some of her favourite books, and the enthusiasm she had for reading in general.
“Hey, Kara,” Nia approached her a few days later, “if you’re free tonight, we’re having another game night. It’s a low key thing, back to some old classic if it’s more your vibe. What do ya say?”
“Sorry, I have a… um, a doctor appointment. So you know, I can’t make it, but next time?” Kara gave her an awkward smile.
“Okay. I hope you feel better soon.” Nia nodded with a small smile and walked away.
She once again stayed after closing time and locked the door. It felt so different from the day before, it was truly amazing how much has changed in her relationship with her ghostly tenant in just one day. She was excited with the prospect of helping Lena, and if she was honest with herself she also wanted to know more about her.
“Lena?” Kara wasn’t sure what to do with herself, she thought about sitting down, but Lena couldn't, so was that impolite? Kara really didn’t want to offend her in any way, but she wasn’t too versed in the world of ghost etiquette.
“Here.” Lena phased through the back room door, disrupting her line of thought.
Kara settled on leaning back against her table. “So, according to the internet and a quick call from Madame Xanadu, the best way to release a non-aggressive ghost is to help her move on. Suggesting that you may have some unfinished business in the world of the living. So, until your soul is content, you will continue to live this… half existence.”
“Alright, though it does sound very much like a bunch of nonsense, I am, as it happens, currently a ghost so go ahead.” Lena crossed her arms and gestured for Kara to continue.
“Right, okay. So, I gathered a bunch of questions to help us find out what it might be, so we can then figure out how to… well, solve it.” Kara pulled up the list on her phone and offered Lena a small smile.
“Alright. Shoot.”
What’s your favourite colour?”
“Really? My favourite colour will reveal my deepest secrets?” She raised a sharp eyebrow at her.
“Okay, because some of the questions are pretty intrusive, I thought I’d ease you in with some easy ones.” She explained with a weak smile.
“Red.”
“Okay, um, what do you remember going through your mind in the moment of your death?”
“Oh shit?”
Kara squinted her eyes at Lena, studying her for a moment. She wasn’t sure Lena was taking this seriously, then again this was a sensitive topic. “Do you have any regrets?” She continued instead.
Lena suddenly froze, Kara wasn’t sure if she’d hit a nerve, or if she just suddenly experienced another memory. She waited a few moments to see if she might answer before deciding to move on. Maybe something less relevant, she thought. “What was your relationship with your parents?”
Lena once again froze, but if before she at least looked deep in thought, this time she looked hesitant. This question might be loaded for some people, Kara knew that, but it was also why it was necessary for the process. “Would it help you if I answer them as well? I can start off if you’d like.” She suggested.
“You really don’t have to.”
“I know. but maybe if i end up becoming a spooky ghost and haunting my own library too, i'd at least have my answers ready.”
Lena smiled. She actually smiled for the first time since they met (not counting the hysterical laughter), and Kara found that she couldn’t look away. She smiled back and decided she wanted to see more of that smile, and promised to do her best to make sure it happened again.
“so, what? we're just both gonna reveal to each other our deepest darkest secrets?” Lena finally asked, the small smile still visible on her face.
"exactly." Kara offered her best grin.
Lena considered Kara's words before she smiled back, another win in Kara's book.
"Say I go along with it, how do you suppose we do this?"
Kara thought for a moment. "Simple. Complete honesty both ways, unapologetic, with nothing to lose kind of deal. how about that?"
“Okay. Seems fair.”
“Good. Then I can tell you that my relationship with my parents was good. They were my best friends when I was younger and…” Kara took a deep breath and continued. “And… Well, they died when I was thirteen. I was then adopted by the Danvers and they’re great. I mean, I only knew Jeremiah for a couple of years before he died too, but Eliza is great and she bakes the best chocolate pecan pie in the world.”
Lena was quiet again which made Kara fear she had over shared. Why did she always have to do that? Maybe the whole thing was a mistake. She wished the ground would swallow her whole, but hoped not to return as a ghost.
“I’m adopted too.” Lena’s sympathetic smile made her immediately forget the self pity spiral that just went through her head. “I loved my mom, but to be honest I don’t remember much of her. She died when I was four and then I was adopted by the Luthors.”
“That must’ve been hard.” Kara sympathised . “And how was your relationship with the Luthors?”
“Funnily enough my father also passed away when I was in high school.”
“What was he like?”
“He was… a complicated man. I mean he was one of the richest and most influential people in America, you know the kind that nobody dared to say anything to him no matter how… wrong, or drunk he was.” Lena had her gaze lost somewhere in the distance. “ He also failed to mention that I’m his biological daughter. I found that out after his death.”
“Oh, Lena, I'm so sorry.”
“The funny thing is that despite that, I still have a warm place in my heart for him for some reason. He had his moments.” Lena didn’t elaborate further.
“And your mother?” Kara asked after a beat of silence.
“Lilian…”. She took a few breaths before she continued. “Lillian is a terrible human being, if there is one kindness death has brought me, it is freeing me from that woman.” Lena finally turned her gaze back to Kara, she looked as vulnerable as the day she found out about her fate. All Kara wanted to do was to hold her close and tell that everything will be alright. A ridiculous thing to tell to a ghost.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” Kara took a step forward, hoping her proximity will help convey some sense of comfort. They held each other’s gaze for a few minutes as silence grew between them. It felt intense, it felt calm, it felt like chaos and it felt like suddenly everything in the world just made sense. Lena whispered a quiet ‘thank you’ she could barely hear. Kara could only nod in return, she wasn’t confident in her ability to create sound at that moment.
One of the random sounds from the university wall broke her out of her haze. Clearing her throat, Kara tore her gaze from Lena and back to her question list. She looked through her questions and decided to focus the rest of her night on making Lena smile again. She learned that Lena’s favourite food was any good burger, she preferred a good pasta to pizza, she could speak 5 languages, she was a terrible dancer and a singer, and by the end of the night Kara decided she also had the best smile in the world.
“Come on, tell me, how’s the big city treating you?” Alex’s voice brought Kara some much needed familiarity as she looked through her apartment’s window at the still unfamiliar city below.
“I’m tearing through every nightclub in town, I actually became a professional clubber.”
“Come on. It’s been a while now, did you at least make some friends? And I mean real friends, fictional characters don’t count.” Kara could practically feel Alex’s stern as she talked. She could also hear the sound of the fridge closing, guessing Alex was getting her evening beer before heading to her living room couch.
“I mean…” Kara hesitantly played with the frame of her window, scratching away at a small piece of paint that was left on the glass. “I have my co-workers I told you about, Winn and Nia.”
“Do you hang out with them outside of work hours?”
“No…”
“Then it doesn't count.”
“There’s also Lena.” Kara was hesitant to mention her. “We do meet outside of work hours.”
“Oh. Is she…?”
“No, no. We’re friends, we’re just friends.”
“Okay, I mean that’s good too. I'm proud of you Kara! Tell me about her.”
“She.. she’s a student in NCU, we met in the library. I was, well I was a bit intimidated by her at first, but she turned out to be really nice.”
“I’m so happy to hear that Kara. Maybe when me and Kelly come to visit you could introduce us to your friends?”
“Yeah, maybe…”
Kara started spending more of her time at the library, staying almost every day after work, in order to talk and learn more about Lena.
“Grand master?!” Kara’s mouth opened so wide she feared some flying creature might find his way inside.
“At fourteen, yes.”
“That's insane! Don’t you need to win, like, tons of competitions to reach that level?”
“Yes,” Lena chuckled. “Can’t say I liked it at that point, but I used to play a lot. Competitions were one of the few things that had my father show up and tell me he was proud of me. I haven't really played much since he died.” she sighed. “So I'm not really sure how good I am anymore.”
“Want to test it out?” Kara suggested, pulling a dusty chess board from the game section.
Despite demolishing her completely, Kara was glad to see Lena’s smile once again.
She learned that besides still being a chess protege, Lena was a certified genius and was working on her second doctorate at 27. She also learned she had a brother, and about their relationship where her brother moved from a loving and supporting figure to an egotistical and self obsessed stranger, leaving Lena with only memories of the person he once was.
Kara in return told her about Alex, how rocky their relationship was at first before accepting one another as sisters and how inseparable they were ever since. "I mean until I moved here. We still talk almost every day, but we've never been this far apart." Kara decided to use the extra time in the library to organise some of the shelves, so Lena was following her around while she worked.
"Why did you move so far away then? Surely you could've found a job back in Midvale?"
Kara considered it for a moment, they did promise each other full openness so she tried her best to come up with an answer, a real one. "I think… I think I felt like I was dragging her back. Alex, I mean. She found her close group of friends in university and she desperately wanted me to get along with them, and come hang out more often. But I preferred our time alone, away from the crowd and especially the busy bar where they hang out all the time. And then I found this job and I thought, this is a good opportunity to set us both free, she can have more time to go out with her friends and not worry about my social life, and she would stop nagging me about going out with them all the time. Win-win."
Kara took the rest of the books that were still in boxes back to the back room, deciding she had enough work for today.
"So, beside your sister you had no other friends?" Lena asked, phasing through a nearby bookcase to follow Kara.
"I'm just not a very social person,” She let out a forced chuckle. “I don't need anyone but Alex." Kara dropped the books under her desk, she would just take them out tomorrow, so there was no point in shoving them back into the back room.
"Well that's not true, I've seen you being very friendly with most of the patrons around here. Knowing most of their favourite genres, names and school subjects. Not to mention your two coworkers who you frequently talk with."
"I am nice, I’m just being nice." Her voice came out way louder than she anticipated. Kara cleared her throat in an attempt to settle whatever it was. "It's completely different." She said in a normal volume this time.
Lena examined her for a moment, she looked like she had more to say but decided to keep quiet for the time being.
Kara left not too long after.
It was a few days later when the subject came up again. Kara was on the computer, dragging out her tasks to stay behind while everybody prepared to leave, when Nia stopped by her desk.
"Hey Kara," She was playing with her hands, clearly nervous about the subject "Um.. is everything ok?" She took a nearby chair and sat on the other side of the table, leaning forward to make their conversations more private even though they were the only people left in the library.
"Yes?" Kara really wasn't sure where it was coming from, she had been doing pretty well recently. She got a decent handle on her job, and felt comfortable in the library. She also noticed she was in a much better mood since she started talking to Lena. Some of their conversations could get somewhat heavy, but she felt so light afterwards. Not to mention she just really liked talking to Lena, and of course making her smile and laugh.
"It's just that… You know my boyfriend Brainy, right?"
Kara nodded, she was aware of Nia's boyfriend and his unique nickname.
"Well, he's been studying a lot recently for an upcoming test, so he tends to stay in the university till late and the way from uni back to his and Winn's apartment is next to the library." Nia was very obviously rambling, and Kara had no idea where she was going with this.
"Well, he told us that he sees you here, like every day and pretty late. So, I now know you are very dedicated to your job, and it's amazing! But, I just wanted to know if everything's ok."
Oh, right. How could she explain that? Oh, don't worry about it Nia, I was just talking to the ghost that haunts this place to help her move on to the afterlife?
"I just really like… books. And you know, the library is full of them, and I don't have enough time to read while I work, so I just… read." She made her best attempt at a convincing smile as she scratched the back of her neck.
"Well, if you get tired of the library, why not come over to ours tonight? We can play some games together or whatever. It's just the three of us in the apartment, there's pizza and some beers."
"I'll think about it." There was no use coming out with a half baked excuse now.
"How about seven tonight if you decide to come? I'll text you the address." Nia rose from her chair and collected her bag. "I would really love it if you came." She added with a warm smile before she left.
Following Nia's figure disappearing behind the corner, Kara was once again alone with her ghost in her haunted library.
"That was about the third time I saw her inviting you to hang out with them." Lena phased through the closed door of the back room.
"Yes.." Was all Kara could offer.
"Are you going to go?"
"Um, no I don’t think so. I told you–"
"Do you not like Nia?" Lena got closer with crossed arms and clear intentions in her eyes.
"What? No, of course not. Nia is great."
"Is it Winn, then? Getting on your nerves?"
"No, Winn is a great guy." Kara suddenly felt very attacked.
"Then why are you refusing to go hang out with people you clearly like and enjoy being around with? Hanging out in, what I assume is a very cosy house and with some very tasty pizza, which I know is one of your all time favourite foods." Lena's voice was accusing and sharp.
Kara found herself stumbling backwards until she hit a wall. "Well, I told you. I'm not much of a–"
"A liar?”
Kara was stunned into silence
"You asked me if I had any regrets, I do. I finally figured out why I died, or at least how I could've easily avoided it.” Lena let out a heavy sigh. “I've avoided people all my life, never letting anyone in, and you know what it's like, don't you? It becomes a habit, you get used to being alone and you start to actively pursue it. But there'll be no one there for you when you need them, no one to lift you up when you're down, no one to tell you you've overworked yourself and you need to sleep before you make a critical mistake, no one to help you overlook your project, to share ideas and solve problems, no one to help protect you from yourself before you fucking explode in an empty lab in the middle of the night.” The short silence that followed was deafening. “I bet my charred body was lying there for hours before anyone even came in there to look." She was inches from her face, her eyes sharp focused. "I died, Kara, because I was isolated and alone and you are too good and too kind to suffer the same fate."
Kara was still stunned.
"You don't deserve to die alone." Lena raised her hand as if to touch her face before letting it down again. She stepped back a few steps. "And you definitely don't deserve to spend your nights talking to a dead person in a broken library." It was said quietly, like a secret just between them.
"I like spending time with you." Kara finally whispered back.
"Kara, I'm dead. And you still deserve to live. You deserve to live a happy life."
Kara stepped forward, somewhat extracting herself from the wall she pressed herself against.
"Kara, you should go home right now, take a shower, dress up, buy a nice bottle of wine, and go have fun with your friends."
Kara wasn't sure when the tears had started, but she quickly wiped them away. Lena also looked to be on the verge of tears herself, and she wasn't sure if she was holding herself to seem strong, or if ghosts simply couldn’t cry.
Lena's speech was a lot to take in. She was right, Kara knew she was right. Didn’t make it any easier though. There was a lot she wanted to say, a lot she owed herself to say, but couldn’t bring herself to do so.
"Okay."
"Good."
She wished she was able to change what had happened to Lena. She wished she got to know her before. Would she have befriended her had they met earlier? Probably not, if she was completely honest with herself. She would've avoided her like the rest and missed out on this amazing person. Just like she was probably missing out on Winn and Nia right about now. Why was it so hard?
"Now Darling!"
Now what? Oh right she should be going. "Yes, right. Going." She took her purse and exited the library. After locking the door she stopped and looked back at Lena, barely visible from the outside, all alone in the library. Lena sent her another stern look and she was quickly on her way.
Kara stopped to buy a bottle of wine because Lena told her to, and went home to shower. At 19:10 she found herself in front of a blue door on the third floor of an old apartment building. She hesitated before knocking on the door. Swallowing hard, Kara almost ran away a few times, she also debated jumping off the window to join Lena and hunt the library together for eternity. But no, she promised her to be better than that. She remembered Lena’s pleading expression and managed to gather the courage she needed to knock on the door. She didn’t wait long, though she almost ran away again, before a surprised Nia greeted her.
“Kara, you’re here!”
“Um.. I brought wine?” She raised her bag with a hesitant smile.
“Guys, Kara’s here!” Nia shouted to the inside of the apartment, before inviting her in.
She passed through a small hall with a coat rack on one side and a few shoes scattered on the other, passing that to her right was a small warmly lit living room. On the wall to her right, was a giant bookcase with a colourful combination of action figures, comic books, collectibles and actual books. On the wall next to it was a giant trans flag that hung proudly above a large t.v. The wall just in front of her had an entrance to another room she assumed was the kitchen. Her eyes were then led to the middle of the room, where a high stack of board games were piled on what she assumed was a wide coffee table. Winn and Brainy were already sitting around it, with Brainy sitting on the sofa and Winn occupying one of the two arm chairs.
“Right up this hall you can find Winn’s room on the first right.” Nia pointed to their left where the small hallway continued. “Me and Brainy’s room on the second right. And of course, if you need the bathroom it’s right at the very end of the hall.”
“Thanks, although I thought you were living in the dorms?” She regretted it immediately, the last thing she should be doing is criticising the people that invited her to hang out. She assumed she would most likely be asked to leave, and never come again.
“Haha yeah, on paper maybe, she’s basically our third roommate. We should really start to charge her rent.” Winn called out with a smile.
“Hey! I buy the groceries and you consume an insane amount of cereal every month.” She shouted at Winn before she turned back to Kara. “Ok yeah, I basically live here but I just sleep better next to Brainy, you know?”
Kara didn’t. She was mostly surprised at not being kicked out immediately. Nia found her own spot on the sofa next to Brainy, so Kara sheepishly made her way to the other armchair. She wasn’t sure what to do next so she just played with her hands.
“Oh we were just about to order pizza! Kara, what do you want?” Nia asked.
The night went better than she expected, she actually had fun. Not that there weren't any awkward moments. There were a few moments where she just felt out of place, an inside joke she wasn’t familiar with and passed right above her head, or in the middle of a conversation on a subject she had nothing to add to, like NCU talk. But they all tried their best to include her whenever they could, they were very patient teaching her an overly complicated game called ‘Dragonfire’. A game they apparently were dying to play but waited to find a fourth player to join them. It was also a game that required players to record their progress between games. Astonishingly, they told her they would wait for the next time she could come over to continue playing.
They finished the night with a few rounds of Five Minutes Dungeon, an extremely chaotic game in which Winn, out of excitement, somehow ended up falling out of his armchair. It was at that point that Kara had realised that she couldn’t remember the last time she laughed so much. It was well past midnight when she left their house with the promise to come back the next week. She politely refused the invitation to sleep over, not feeling comfortable enough to do that just yet.
Kara decided to take a slightly longer route on her way home to pass by the library. Okay, it wasn't quite on the way, in fact she walked past her place, but she was giddy and excited after her game night and wanted to share it with Lena. She wasn't sure why she wanted to share it with Lena so badly, but she really did.
"Lena?" Kara asked as she entered the dark library. She didn't want to attract any unwanted attention so she used her phone's torch to light the way instead of using any of the lights.
"Kara, what are you doing here?" Lena appeared right in front of her so suddenly she completely lost her balance. Her phone fell only a second before she did.
"I should've really expected that." Kara chuckled, as she slowly got up. She made her way into the back room where her light wouldn't be seen from the outside.
"Yes. But seriously Kara, is everything alright?" Lena followed suit. Only after she waited for Lena to get in to close the door behind her, did she realise how meaningless the gesture was.
"Yes. Yes! I was just…" she was suddenly not really sure what to say, she was also slightly distracted by the ghostly green eyes that were staring at her, Lena's eyes were really beautiful.
"Just?" Lena said, breaking her out of her daze. Her voice was low and quiet, maybe it was because of the silence around them, or maybe it was their close proximity.
"Just wanted to thank you, I had a really great time tonight." Kara matched her in volume and took a small step forward, there wasn't a lot of space to do that but she wanted Lena to know how sincere she was. "It was only thanks to you that I went there tonight. I really needed that push, I just didn't realise how much."
"I'm really glad I could help. You deserve happiness Kara." Lena's voice was a mere whisper but she was close enough to hear it. Kara believed she would've felt her breath had she not been a ghost, she would also bet her lips were the softest in the world. If only she could have run her thumb over them, or maybe her own lips…
And it was that thought that made her realise how close they really were. She took a quick step back and cleared her throat. Lena also moved back, to the point she ended up halfway phasing through some boxes.
"Well, um thank you." Her smile was slightly more awkward than sincere this time. "I should… I should probably go. Home, that is, to sleep and such cause it's late, you know? I mean of course you do, it's dark and stuff." Kara let out a forced chuckle.
"Yes, and stuff." Lena's smile was also not as sincere. Oh god, she made Lena feel awkward now. Kara shuffled her way out of the room as quickly as possible.
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow." She said, not even looking at Lena as she headed straight to the door.
"Isn't the library closed on Saturday?" Lena called back.
"Bye." Kara ignored her valid question and locked the door behind her, before she started walking back to her apartment at a faster pace than before.
Did she want to kiss Lena back there? No way, she was a ghost and she couldn't kiss a ghost. Not that she wanted to! Her lips were just really close to her face, and they looked so soft… it was a simple case of curiosity, that's it, she was just curious. Not that anything could even happen between them. Lena was dead, she was dead. And she didn't deserve being dead. She deserved happiness, just as much as Kara did, if not more. It wasn't fair.