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There are times when a man must begin to question whether it would be possible for things to get any worse. Coriolanus, for the first time since The Dark Days, found himself faced with that dilemma.
At least, when the worst of the rebel attacks had struck the Capitol all those years ago, he'd had some reassurance. Some sense of security. He had the immediate support from his beloved cousin, the knowledge that his father was out there, fighting for what was right, the close comfort of his mother. Even the Snow mansion, which at the time, seemed like such a certainty, was now crumbling. Coriolanus found no one to blame for it but himself. All his life, he'd felt the weight, the pressure of his family's expectations, his family's legacy all piling up on top of him and only now did it seem like he had reached his limit. He was beginning to crumble. He could hear the sound of Snow falling, as Dean Highbottom had so frustratingly, so condescendingly put it.
Coriolanus shoved Tigris' letter under the sheets of his bed, not being able to bring himself to look at it any longer. Although the sheets were as thin he could still make it out. He pressed his face against the wall and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the rest of the world as his lunch threatened to make a reappearance, as well as a few tears.
When people thought of Crassus Snow, they thought of the embodiment of honour itself. A loyal Capitol soldier who had fought to the end to protect his family and his Capitol brethren. The man who began and solidified a legacy. When people thought of Coriolanus Snow, they'd think of the incompetent, cheating fool who'd destroyed it. Or perhaps they may not even think of him at all. Perhaps if the topic of a son, of a male heir to the Snow's glory ever came up, no one would even be aware that there was one.
Perhaps that would be for the better. The alternative, being known as the man who sullied the name of the once honourable, highly regarded Snow's, seemed far worse. Obscurity seemed the much better option. Not that either was good, but he'd rather be known simply as Gent among a small few than as a dishonourable cheat who didn't deserve to bear the Snow name.
As he went over this in his head, it only made him want to throw up even more. All his life, Coriolanus had only his wits to get him by. Only the name Snow and the meaning that name held. Now he may not even have that anymore.
He faintly heard footsteps coming down the corridor, which he tried to ignore. Though he couldn't help but worry what would happen if the owner of said footsteps entered and saw what a mess he was in. Then again, would he even care if thay were to happen? Did he care how people saw him? After all, what did he have to uphold anymore…?
Coriolanus shook his head. If nothing else, he still had some dignity. And he wouldn't give that up. Not yet. He sniffled and pressed two fingers against the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stop any potential tears from escaping. He moved his head away from the wall and instead wrapped it up in his arms, trying to block out the world.
Despite his hopes, the door to his quarters opened and he heard the sound of shoes clicking against the laminate floor. Just act invisible, he told himself. He was on the top bunk, so he was at least somewhat protected from any potential embarrassment.
The bottom bunk creaked, presumably as a bag was dropped on it. Then another creak when there came a slight bit more pressure. Great Panem, these beds were so flimsy. Though, he'd have to get used to them. It likely didn't get better. For the rest of his life. Agh, he was haunted by the thought.
Coriolanus' self pity, however, was cut off by the sound of an all too familiar voice. "Is this bunk taken?"
At this question, Coriolanus stopped, eyes widening. He contemplated, momentarily, whether he was going crazy. But he pushed past the idea and shot up like a bullet, looking over the edge of his bunk to get a look at who had just walked in. And, as expected, there stood Sejanus Plinth.
Coriolanus' eyes widened. He had to take a few long blinks just to be completely certain that he wasn't seeing things. But no, there he was. In the flesh. "Sejanus!" He exclaimed, sounding more overjoyed than he meant to.
Sejanus looked up and his eyes widened. "Coryo?" He questioned, sounding nothing less than stunned.
That confirmed it. For a while, Coriolanus sat there in silence. When he'd signed the forms and gotten on the train bound for Twelve weeks ago, he'd thought that would be it. He wasn't Capitol anymore. Just another District Peacekeeper trying to get by, much like the Capitol's lowest, only living to survive. Everything he'd left behind, his family, his friends, any hope of him leaving education to become a figure of high authority and respect all behind him. Never to be seen again. He'd permanently be cut off from that world, the life he once knew.
But no. Because here stood the notorious heir to Panem's largest and most infamous munitions empire, as well as Coriolanus' supposed best friend, Sejanus Plinth.
What was he doing here?? The garb he had slung over his arm suggested he'd also gotten into Peacekeeping, but that couldn't be right. What business did he have being a Peacekeeper? What was the need?
At that point, Coriolanus had all but accepted that he'd never see Sejanus again. That seemed to hurt him more than the idea that he may never be reunited with Lucy Gray. But there he stood. An embodiment of everything Coriolanus had done wrong. Everything that had caused him to end up in Twelve in the first place. An embodiment of all he'd missed whilst being away from home. An embodiment of everything he held dear…
After this silence, and after the two of them had stared at one another in complete shock for a while, Coriolanus scrambled to get off the bunk. At first, he tried to use the small ladder connected to it, but he quickly gave up and jumped off onto the cold floor.
Sejanus looked as though he were about to say something, his eyes wide and his mouth gaping open, but Coriolanus didn't give him the chance to speak. Without thinking, brain working on pure impulse, he grabbed Sejanus' face by his cheeks and pulled it down, kissing him hard on the lips.
He had his eyes squeezed shut, so he couldn't see how Sejanus reacted. Honestly, he didn't want to. But after what seemed like a moment's hesitation, he felt the kiss being reciprocated.
Sejanus' lips tasted faintly of… raspberries? Probably something his Ma had baked for him. But Coriolanus certainly wasn't complaining.
A voice in his head was telling him to cut it out. Telling him that this was far beneath him. Questioning whether this was really how far down he'd sank; kissing some pathetic nobody from District Two. But another voice was telling him that this was the most exhilarated he'd felt in a while. The happiest, even. That he wanted nothing more in that moment than to keep going. And that voice was louder.
So loud, in fact, that Coriolanus kept a hold on Sejanus' cheek with one hand, with the other travelling up to his dark hair, tugging on it gently, to which he was met with a small grunting noise against his lips. He wanted to hear it again.
Coriolanus opened one eye slightly, noticing how Sejanus lifted and stretched out one leg behind him to shut the door. He then felt the other man's arms wrap around his lower waist.
After another few moments of this, Coriolanus broke the kiss for air. He kept their faces intimately close, however. He stared vacantly at Sejanus' chest, as though trying to process what had just happened. What he had just done.
He'd never put all that much thought into Sejanus' sexuality before. Of course, he'd had his suspicions. Sometimes he'd privately question the way Sejanus had spoke of Marcus, or even the way Sejanus spoke to him. Looked at him, even. Or just how touchy he was. But any questions he'd had over whether his friend was, well… queer or not were overcome by the fact that he really didn't care.
Until now.
When he made eye contact with Sejanus again, he saw that the other man was staring at him. Eyes wide. Mouth slightly open. Eventually, a wide smile spread across his face, with a fine blush tinting his cheeks.
"This is a surprisingly warm welcome for the person who almost destroyed you…" Sejanus said eventually. He sounded breathless. Coriolanus almost thought it was pathetic. All things considered, that kiss was nothing. Rather chaste, really… and yet Sejanus was still out of breath. It was apparent he'd never kissed anyone before.
At least, he might've found it pathetic if it wasn't so deeply attractive
Rather than responding with words, the hand of Coriolanus' that was previously on Sejanus' cheek moved up to the nape of his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. He'd gotten a taste and now all he wanted was more. After all, what did he have to lose? Nothing.
Sejanus seemed to think the same. He felt the other man's hand move up to caress his cheek, then moving up into his hair, which was a bit of a mess at that moment. He could only imagine it was going to get so much worse… and he wanted it to.
Coriolanus broke the kiss yet again and moved his head to the side, beginning to press kisses to Sejanus' neck. It was mostly so that he could get a look at the door. Of course, he'd seen Sejanus shut it moments before, but he wanted to be sure. As much as the idea seemed enticing, he'd rather if his new bunkmates didn't have an opportunity to walk in on them.
He leaned forward a bit and pressed his hand against the door to ensure that it had shut before looking at Sejanus. Whilst Coriolanus' lips had been on his neck, the other man had started kissing his cheek gently. Great Panem. He was so soft. Coriolanus couldn't help but be drawn to it. How helpless and utterly clueless he was.
Coriolanus kissed him yet again. As he did so he reflected on how much he felt he needed it. He began to question why he'd been so determined to see Lucy Gray again in the first place. Why he'd been in such a need for a kiss from her. Why, when Sejanus was right here?
He moved his hands and placed them on Sejanus' hips, so that he could push him down onto the bottom bunk. As Sejanus landed, he made an "Mmph!" Noise, muffled against Coriolanus' lips. It was anyone's guess whether he'd done it out of surprise, or just because the bed was so stiff that landing on it probably didn't feel great on the back.
As they continued kissing, with both of them trying to hold on as long as they could without having to come up for air, Coriolanus moved one hand to the centre of Sejanus' chest. A voice in his head told him to unbutton the man's shirt. And that voice was the same loud one from before, with him succumbing to it once again. He broke the kiss to get a proper look at what he was doing and brought both of his hands to the collar of Sejanus' shirt, beginning to unbutton it.
Sejanus panted as soon as the kiss ended, staring up at the bottom of the top bunk as Coriolanus continued.
"You're not getting tired out already, are you?" Coriolanus questioned, almost mockingly. He paused to look at the man and focus on his reaction.
"No… not even close." Sejanus got out. He shut his eyes for a few seconds as his torso became more and more exposed. "Coryo, I… I never realised that you felt this way…" He felt Sejanus' hands travelling up to his blonde locks again.
"Neither did I." Coriolanus muttered. Once Sejanus' shirt was completely unbuttoned, he kept it on him, but spread it out so he still got a view of his chest and stomach. The rapid rise and fall of the man's chest gave away how exciting this was for him.
Coriolanus looked down at Sejanus' bare chest and sighed before leaning down to press kisses to it. Admittedly, the guy did look quite handsome…
After a while of this, Coriolanus was surprised to feel a finger moving under his chin. He blinked and stopped his kissing. Sejanus tilted his chin upwards with his finger so that the two men were making eye contact. Coriolanus furrowed his eyebrows, as though he were going to ask what he was doing, but he didn't get the chance. He let out a loud grunt of surprise when Sejanus put both hands in his hair and tugged on it, pulling his head forward and connecting their lips once again. His eyes widened at the other man's boldness, though he kissed him back all the same.
Coriolanus had known desire before. Of course he had. Whether material or romantic. But he'd never felt it quite like this. Never quite so strongly… so intensely. Even whilst he had it, even whilst his desire was being met, all he wanted was more. And he'd do anything to get it.
Sejanus was the last person in all of Panem he ever thought he'd feel such intense emotion towards, but he was hardly concerned with that at the moment. All he was concerned about was his need. And he needed Sejanus. He needed his lips, his body, his… everything.
Coriolanus grasped Sejanus' shoulders with both hands, pulling them both up. He then pushed the man up against the wall, straddling himself onto his lap. Sejanus' hands still held onto his golden hair in tight fists, to which he made no objection.
Their bodies fit together beautifully. Sejanus' nose would occasionally brush against his own as they kissed. Their chests and their stomachs pressed together just right. It had been a damn while since Coriolanus had been this close, this intimate with someone... and he loved it.
The taste of raspberries he'd suspected at the start remained persistent, so he decided to ask about it, breaking away from Sejanus' lips with some effort. "Were… were you eating just before you got here?" He questioned, surprised by how out of breath he sounded.
Sejanus looked down bashfully. "Uh… yeah. My Ma gave me some tarts for the trip. I was snacking on one in the locker room before I headed down here."
"Well…" Coriolanus paused what he was saying and went in for another kiss, quick but deep. He then pulled away and licked his lips, pretending to think. "They taste lovely." He remarked with a smirk.
A somehow deeper blush covered Sejanus' cheeks. He rolled his eyes and tugged on Coriolanus' hair again, pressing their lips together once more. Lips which somehow fit so well together, as though they were made for one another. Like they were made to be interlocked. They seemed to intensify Coriolanus' desire to never want to break apart…
Coriolanus managed to break away from Sejanus' lips again eventually, looking down at the man's crotch area. He moved one hand and allowed it to ghost over Sejanus' belt. The man let out a low whine, as though there was a need that he felt… that they both felt.
His fingers grazed over Sejanus' belt once more before he heard an all to familiar voice. Beanpole. Coriolanus' eyes widened. From the sounds of it, he was just about to enter the room.
"Shitshitshitshitshit-" He cussed quietly at this realisation and quickly moved off Sejanus, attempting to fix up his hair. Sejanus, of course, didn't know that the voice belonged to one of his new bunkmates, as he had only just arrived in the base, but he was able to put two and two together easily enough at the sight of Coriolanus' panic.
Sejanus quickly went to button his shirt back up, but he was being so frantic about it that it was taking a great deal longer than it ought to.
He was about halfway through being buttoned back up before the door swung open and Beanpole entered the room. Sejanus and Coriolanus both looked like complete messes, staring at the man like deers in headlights. Coriolanus began to feel grateful he hadn't made it to unbuckling any belts, after all. They'd never have been able to fix them in time. He still attempted to brush down his hair.
Beanpole had looked like he was going to say something, but he stopped at the sight of them. He stared at the two of them, mouth open slightly. His eyes then fixed on Sejanus. "Oh… you're… you're our new bunkmate, aren't you?"
Sejanus nodded rather sheepishly, avoiding the man's gaze.
"I…" Beanpole seemed to be searching for something to say. Coriolanus tried doing the same, standing up from the bunkbed as if to separate himself from the other man sitting on it.
Beanpole cleared his throat. "Right, erm… I'll leave you guys to it. Just come through to the canteen with the rest of us when you're ready."
"Beanpole, did you come in here for something?" Coriolanus questioned, trying to sound as normal as he was able.
He shook his head. "Nah. Uhm- it's not important, just… see you guys-" He practically darted out of the room, thankfully shutting the door behind him.
Coriolanus blinked, slumping himself back down onto the bunk. Shit. Beanpole definitely knew that something had happened. Why else would he have… acted like that? Dammit. He should've tried to play it off… well, what's done is done, he supposed. Nothing left to lose, as he'd figured earlier.
"Whoo-" Sejanus breathed. At least he seemed satisfied enough. If he was embarrassed, he was doing a great deal not to show it. "Wow, I mean… wow. You know, I've never actually… uh… kissed anyone before. Certainly not like that."
"With all due respect, I could sort of tell." Coriolanus responded, letting out a chuckle afterwards. He attempted to disract himself from the… interruption. Although it had killed the mood. He reached over to Sejanus and buttoned up his shirt completely, pulling down the collar afterwards. Sejanus blushed as he watched him do this.
"Is his name actually Beanpole?" Sejanus asked as Coriolanus tucked the man's shirt back into his pants.
"No. We use nicknames 'round here. You'll have one by next week, I bet." He brushed off Sejanus' shirt
"Oh. That's really sweet, actually. Do you have a nickname?" Sejanus asked with a smile. Coriolanus, or Gent, rather, nodded. He then laughed. "Awh, look at that. You're fitting right in already."
Coriolanus smiled, despite himself. "You will, too." Surprisingly, he found himself pressing a soft kiss to Sejanus' cheek, which he responded to by smiling widely. Coriolanus then stood up again, patting down his own hair. Probably best not to leave their bunkmates questioning their abscense too long. Especially after… all that. "I'm gonna go meet up with the others. I'll be in the canteen. You know where that is?"
Sejanus nodded. He then sighed and looked upward. "It's funny, you know… I feel like there was something I was gonna tell you. But it's completely left me now."
"It'll come to you." Coriolanus shrugged. He opened the door, noticing the kitchen area just down the hall. An idea sparked in his mind and a smirk appeared on his face. "Hey… if you're still up to it, what say you and I spend some time alone in that kitchen down the hall later, once everyone's asleep?" He purred.
Sejanus' face turned red again. "A kitchen?" He laughed lightly. "Very romantic. But… sure."
Coriolanus chuckled. "See ya." He said, rather casually and shut the door himself. He fixed the collar of his shirt as he made his way down the hallway to meet with the others.